Post by alyadmirer on May 15, 2018 2:18:37 GMT
When the Spring Break pay-per-view camera feed returned to the ring after a video package promoting Bunny Cooper’s inaugural defense of her hard-won Lightweight Championship, fans were quite displeased to see that the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa had commandeered the squared circle. Allison Addison and Piper Sexton were dressed in snug t-shirts and sweatpants bearing the logo of their ‘sorority’ -- the capital Greek letters Φ and Θ followed by a stylized cartoon hand tapping the mat -- and Piper clutched in her hand a third identical shirt while her redheaded compatriot held a microphone.
ALLISON ADDISON:
PIPER SEXTON:
The FAWNatics rained down a deluge of boos and jeers as soon as Allison raised the stick to her lips, though the Mean Girl merely checked the imaginary watch on her wrist and tapped her foot against the canvas as she waited for the hate to simmer down. It took the better part of a minute, but eventually Addison’s patience outlasted the audience’s reserves of opprobrium, and the redhead was granted her chance to speak and be heard.
“Good evening, mouth-breathers!” Allison cheerily greeted the masses, earning her another round of heat. “Oh, put a dick it in it, sperglords! So anyway… Pipes and I were watching those Hot Topic rejects wreck house last month, and we thought to ourselves, ‘Why should we let the jenkem-huffing retards have all the fun?’ For too long, the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa have sat on our perfectly manicured hands, but no more! From this day forward, there’ll be a new world order in this shithole organization… our world order! That’s right, bitches! Phi Theta Tappa is accepting new pledges! So come one, come all, because Sorority Rush is officially open!”
Addison raised her hands overhead and began to clap while her comrade-in-arms proudly held their sorority shirt aloft like a flag. Like they did for all things Phi Theta Tappa related, the fans only responded with boos, though the pair of young wrestlers weren’t about to let that rain on their parade as they continued to triumphantly parade around the ring.
“Oh, and one more thing…” Allison added a couple of laps later. “...free agents only. So if you’ve thrown in with America’s Sweethearts or Upstart Nation, go ahead and keep eating those Tide Pods, ‘cause we don’t want your stupid ass!”
Slandering some of FAWN’s most beloved wrestlers predictably went over like a lead balloon with the crowd, but the pair of them were more than accustomed to the hate by now. Slinging the extra shirt over one shoulder, Piper took the microphone and added some more people to the sorority’s persona non grata list.
“No lesbos, dykes, bean flickers, fur traders, carpet munchers, or muff divers either, please,” Sexton rattled off to increasingly virulent jeers as she piled on the slurs. “Drive your Subarus and listen to your Melissa Etheridge CDs on your own time, but miss us with that gay shit. It’s already bad enough that we gotta share a bathroom with you perverts.”
“Thanks, Obama,” Allison sarcastically snorted after she reclaimed the microphone. “Also, no fat chicks, por favor. Yes, Avery, that includes you. You might be the boss-lady’s failed abortion, but our shirts still don’t come in maternity sizes. Why don’t you see if those beanpoles from Leggs Inc. can give you some tips on anorexia, and talk to us again when your waistline isn’t measured in longitude.”
“And no British people,” Piper said as she leaned in next to the redhead. “You tea-sipping losers have some nerve even showing up in the good ole’ U-S-of-A after we kicked your asses in World War II!”
Sexton’s dubious history was met with groans, though a very small yet very loud minority quickly took up with an energetic chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” It wasn’t long, however, before the rest of the FAWNatics drowned out the Polly Patriots when they exploded into a joyous pop, because coming down the entrance ramp was Honey Harris, FAWN’s latest import from across the Atlantic, dressed as she would be for a fight. The FAWN rookie’s well-shaped legs are bared, a hint of gold bikini style bottoms (with black trim) just visible beneath the hem a gold tee. Upon the front read the words “SWEET AS” in black type, directly above an illustration of a pot of honey. On the back, below the words “BUT WITH A” is a cartoon bee abdomen—complete with stinger.
HONEY HARRIS:
“O-M-G, what did we just say about British people?!” Piper whined while throwing up her arms in exasperation. “Ugh, I literally can’t even right now…”
Allison gave her sister-in-arms a couple of reassuring pats on the shoulder, then she looked at the incoming babyface and shook her head in stern disapproval.
“I never thought it was possible for someone to be an uggo virgin AND have seven different colors of pubic hair stuck in her teeth, and yet here she is…” Addison muttered under her breath.
As Harris rolled under the bottom rope and climbed to her feet, Sexton took the mic back from her sorority sister. “I’m sorry,” Piper said, sounding anything but, “how rude of me. I should have put it in your language.” The American blonde took a moment to clear her throat, while her counterpart from across the pond came a little closer. “Cor blimey, guv’nah!” Sexton suddenly bellows, in an accent that would have made Dick Van Dyke snicker. “Bob’s yer…”
Honey’s act of snatching the stick away mid-sentence drew a roar of approval from the FAWNatics.
“Oh,” Harris sighed, shaking her head in a somewhat bemused fashion. “Oh, dear me. No. No, it would seem you two naughty dotties are labouring under the teeniest, tiniest bit of a misapprehension.”
Piper’s brow furrowed as she mouthed the words “naughty dotties”, but it didn’t appear that Honey had registered her confusion.
“I’m not here to join your little… outfit,” the British import continued. “No, I’m out here to right a wrong, and to perhaps put it in YOUR language, to put YOU out of OUR misery.”
The crowd gasped and buzzed, in anticipation of violence. For her part, Allison Addison merely arched an eyebrow, her arms folded across her chest.
“You see,” Harris noted, “as much success as I’ve had since arriving here, I haven’t forgotten the one blemish on my record. And, as much as it pains me to say, Allison Addison, you embarrassed me.”
The lithe redhead’s lips curled into a vengeful, satisfied smirk.
“Oh, I wasn’t embarrassed with myself, or with my effort,” Harris said. “But you… You took every shortcut, cut every corner, and twisted every rule, to allow yourself to end up in a position where you could finish me off in a most disrespectful manner. And THEN, since apparently THAT wasn’t sufficient, you THEN took advantage of my trying to be the bigger person…”
Addison nodded along, that smirk only growing wider. “Oh, please,” the sadistic sorority sister chirped, “keep going. It all just sounds so adorable in that accent!”
Just like that, Honey’s ordinarily bright and cheerful visage turned just a little colder, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “I’m not used to being humiliated, Allison Addison,” the Brit stated. “But know this: any time I get knocked down, I get up again…”
“YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!” Piper responded, in song form, drawing an awkward glare from her sorority sister. “Oh, wait…” Sexton then mused. “That’s not how THIS song goes.”
“I want you, Allison Addison,” Honey declared. “In this ring. Tonight. Because, now that I know exactly who you are, I don’t think you can beat me cleanly. And tonight, I’m gonna PROVE you can’t.”
Despite Allison being the hometown girl, the Orlando crowd was clearly on Honey’s side as they goaded the women to, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
For a moment, it seemed that the Mean Girl would give them what they wanted as she chested into Harris and looked down her nose at the shorter blonde.
“I beat you clean as a whistle last time…” Addison snorted, her recollection of history just as suspect as Sexton’s. “...and you fucked off for eight months to go turn tricks on the wrong side of the road. Now you’re back with another win under your belt and another gallon of semen in your stomach, and you think YOU can challenge ME? HAH!”
Honey did a remarkable job keeping her composure, though she was inwardly thankful that her blonde locks prevented anyone from seeing the way her ears flushed red with anger.
“‘Yes’ or ‘No,’” the British spitfire whispered tersely.
Allison chortled in derision before she silently nodded her head a few times to accept the challenge, then she backed up a step and extended her right hand. Honey looked at the proffered handshake, then at the capacity crowd who were imploring her not to fall for the same trick twice, and then at Piper, who was now holding a phone and livestreaming the proceedings for the Phi Theta Tappa Facebook page. After a brief moment of deliberation, and much to the audible consternation of the FAWNatics, Harris reached out and clasped Addison’s hand with her own.
Predictably, the Mean Girl immediately lashed out with a kick aimed at the rookie’s groin.
So predictably, in fact, that Honey was ready for it.
Harris deftly twisted out of the way, leaving Addison to hit nothing but air with her Low Blow. Already unbalanced by her whiff, Allison pitched forward when her would-be-victim reeled her in, and then in one smooth motion, Honey turned one hundred eighty degrees in place while breaking free of their mutual handshake. The FAWNatics were already rising to their feet with bated breath when Harris reached over her right shoulder with both hands to grab the Mean Girl’s head in a Three Quarters Facelock, and when Honey kicked out her legs and dropped to a seat on the canvas to jaw-jack Allison with a London Calling out of nowhere, the fans emptied their lungs in a primal scream of joy worthy of the Sensational One herself.
LONDON CALLING:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOUgIyILejg
Piper was so shell-shocked by this sudden turn of events that for a few seconds all she could do was look back and forth in disbelief between the screen on her phone on the insensate body of her sorority sister. By the time the gears in Sexton’s brain lurched into motion again, Honey had already slipped out of the ring, and now she was backpedaling up the entrance ramp with her arms held out at her sides in a ‘T’ for ‘triumph.’
“I’M ON TO YOUR TRICKS, ALLISON ADDISON!” she shouted, equal parts fury and exhilaration. “AND TONIGHT… TONIGHT THE WORLD WILL KNOW WHO’S THE BETTER WOMAN!”
With Allison rousing back to semi-consciousness just in time to see Honey slip backstage, the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa could only seethe in rage and humiliation.
ALLISON ADDISON:
PIPER SEXTON:
The FAWNatics rained down a deluge of boos and jeers as soon as Allison raised the stick to her lips, though the Mean Girl merely checked the imaginary watch on her wrist and tapped her foot against the canvas as she waited for the hate to simmer down. It took the better part of a minute, but eventually Addison’s patience outlasted the audience’s reserves of opprobrium, and the redhead was granted her chance to speak and be heard.
“Good evening, mouth-breathers!” Allison cheerily greeted the masses, earning her another round of heat. “Oh, put a dick it in it, sperglords! So anyway… Pipes and I were watching those Hot Topic rejects wreck house last month, and we thought to ourselves, ‘Why should we let the jenkem-huffing retards have all the fun?’ For too long, the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa have sat on our perfectly manicured hands, but no more! From this day forward, there’ll be a new world order in this shithole organization… our world order! That’s right, bitches! Phi Theta Tappa is accepting new pledges! So come one, come all, because Sorority Rush is officially open!”
Addison raised her hands overhead and began to clap while her comrade-in-arms proudly held their sorority shirt aloft like a flag. Like they did for all things Phi Theta Tappa related, the fans only responded with boos, though the pair of young wrestlers weren’t about to let that rain on their parade as they continued to triumphantly parade around the ring.
“Oh, and one more thing…” Allison added a couple of laps later. “...free agents only. So if you’ve thrown in with America’s Sweethearts or Upstart Nation, go ahead and keep eating those Tide Pods, ‘cause we don’t want your stupid ass!”
Slandering some of FAWN’s most beloved wrestlers predictably went over like a lead balloon with the crowd, but the pair of them were more than accustomed to the hate by now. Slinging the extra shirt over one shoulder, Piper took the microphone and added some more people to the sorority’s persona non grata list.
“No lesbos, dykes, bean flickers, fur traders, carpet munchers, or muff divers either, please,” Sexton rattled off to increasingly virulent jeers as she piled on the slurs. “Drive your Subarus and listen to your Melissa Etheridge CDs on your own time, but miss us with that gay shit. It’s already bad enough that we gotta share a bathroom with you perverts.”
“Thanks, Obama,” Allison sarcastically snorted after she reclaimed the microphone. “Also, no fat chicks, por favor. Yes, Avery, that includes you. You might be the boss-lady’s failed abortion, but our shirts still don’t come in maternity sizes. Why don’t you see if those beanpoles from Leggs Inc. can give you some tips on anorexia, and talk to us again when your waistline isn’t measured in longitude.”
“And no British people,” Piper said as she leaned in next to the redhead. “You tea-sipping losers have some nerve even showing up in the good ole’ U-S-of-A after we kicked your asses in World War II!”
Sexton’s dubious history was met with groans, though a very small yet very loud minority quickly took up with an energetic chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” It wasn’t long, however, before the rest of the FAWNatics drowned out the Polly Patriots when they exploded into a joyous pop, because coming down the entrance ramp was Honey Harris, FAWN’s latest import from across the Atlantic, dressed as she would be for a fight. The FAWN rookie’s well-shaped legs are bared, a hint of gold bikini style bottoms (with black trim) just visible beneath the hem a gold tee. Upon the front read the words “SWEET AS” in black type, directly above an illustration of a pot of honey. On the back, below the words “BUT WITH A” is a cartoon bee abdomen—complete with stinger.
HONEY HARRIS:
“O-M-G, what did we just say about British people?!” Piper whined while throwing up her arms in exasperation. “Ugh, I literally can’t even right now…”
Allison gave her sister-in-arms a couple of reassuring pats on the shoulder, then she looked at the incoming babyface and shook her head in stern disapproval.
“I never thought it was possible for someone to be an uggo virgin AND have seven different colors of pubic hair stuck in her teeth, and yet here she is…” Addison muttered under her breath.
As Harris rolled under the bottom rope and climbed to her feet, Sexton took the mic back from her sorority sister. “I’m sorry,” Piper said, sounding anything but, “how rude of me. I should have put it in your language.” The American blonde took a moment to clear her throat, while her counterpart from across the pond came a little closer. “Cor blimey, guv’nah!” Sexton suddenly bellows, in an accent that would have made Dick Van Dyke snicker. “Bob’s yer…”
Honey’s act of snatching the stick away mid-sentence drew a roar of approval from the FAWNatics.
“Oh,” Harris sighed, shaking her head in a somewhat bemused fashion. “Oh, dear me. No. No, it would seem you two naughty dotties are labouring under the teeniest, tiniest bit of a misapprehension.”
Piper’s brow furrowed as she mouthed the words “naughty dotties”, but it didn’t appear that Honey had registered her confusion.
“I’m not here to join your little… outfit,” the British import continued. “No, I’m out here to right a wrong, and to perhaps put it in YOUR language, to put YOU out of OUR misery.”
The crowd gasped and buzzed, in anticipation of violence. For her part, Allison Addison merely arched an eyebrow, her arms folded across her chest.
“You see,” Harris noted, “as much success as I’ve had since arriving here, I haven’t forgotten the one blemish on my record. And, as much as it pains me to say, Allison Addison, you embarrassed me.”
The lithe redhead’s lips curled into a vengeful, satisfied smirk.
“Oh, I wasn’t embarrassed with myself, or with my effort,” Harris said. “But you… You took every shortcut, cut every corner, and twisted every rule, to allow yourself to end up in a position where you could finish me off in a most disrespectful manner. And THEN, since apparently THAT wasn’t sufficient, you THEN took advantage of my trying to be the bigger person…”
Addison nodded along, that smirk only growing wider. “Oh, please,” the sadistic sorority sister chirped, “keep going. It all just sounds so adorable in that accent!”
Just like that, Honey’s ordinarily bright and cheerful visage turned just a little colder, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “I’m not used to being humiliated, Allison Addison,” the Brit stated. “But know this: any time I get knocked down, I get up again…”
“YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN!” Piper responded, in song form, drawing an awkward glare from her sorority sister. “Oh, wait…” Sexton then mused. “That’s not how THIS song goes.”
“I want you, Allison Addison,” Honey declared. “In this ring. Tonight. Because, now that I know exactly who you are, I don’t think you can beat me cleanly. And tonight, I’m gonna PROVE you can’t.”
Despite Allison being the hometown girl, the Orlando crowd was clearly on Honey’s side as they goaded the women to, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
For a moment, it seemed that the Mean Girl would give them what they wanted as she chested into Harris and looked down her nose at the shorter blonde.
“I beat you clean as a whistle last time…” Addison snorted, her recollection of history just as suspect as Sexton’s. “...and you fucked off for eight months to go turn tricks on the wrong side of the road. Now you’re back with another win under your belt and another gallon of semen in your stomach, and you think YOU can challenge ME? HAH!”
Honey did a remarkable job keeping her composure, though she was inwardly thankful that her blonde locks prevented anyone from seeing the way her ears flushed red with anger.
“‘Yes’ or ‘No,’” the British spitfire whispered tersely.
Allison chortled in derision before she silently nodded her head a few times to accept the challenge, then she backed up a step and extended her right hand. Honey looked at the proffered handshake, then at the capacity crowd who were imploring her not to fall for the same trick twice, and then at Piper, who was now holding a phone and livestreaming the proceedings for the Phi Theta Tappa Facebook page. After a brief moment of deliberation, and much to the audible consternation of the FAWNatics, Harris reached out and clasped Addison’s hand with her own.
Predictably, the Mean Girl immediately lashed out with a kick aimed at the rookie’s groin.
So predictably, in fact, that Honey was ready for it.
Harris deftly twisted out of the way, leaving Addison to hit nothing but air with her Low Blow. Already unbalanced by her whiff, Allison pitched forward when her would-be-victim reeled her in, and then in one smooth motion, Honey turned one hundred eighty degrees in place while breaking free of their mutual handshake. The FAWNatics were already rising to their feet with bated breath when Harris reached over her right shoulder with both hands to grab the Mean Girl’s head in a Three Quarters Facelock, and when Honey kicked out her legs and dropped to a seat on the canvas to jaw-jack Allison with a London Calling out of nowhere, the fans emptied their lungs in a primal scream of joy worthy of the Sensational One herself.
LONDON CALLING:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOUgIyILejg
Piper was so shell-shocked by this sudden turn of events that for a few seconds all she could do was look back and forth in disbelief between the screen on her phone on the insensate body of her sorority sister. By the time the gears in Sexton’s brain lurched into motion again, Honey had already slipped out of the ring, and now she was backpedaling up the entrance ramp with her arms held out at her sides in a ‘T’ for ‘triumph.’
“I’M ON TO YOUR TRICKS, ALLISON ADDISON!” she shouted, equal parts fury and exhilaration. “AND TONIGHT… TONIGHT THE WORLD WILL KNOW WHO’S THE BETTER WOMAN!”
With Allison rousing back to semi-consciousness just in time to see Honey slip backstage, the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa could only seethe in rage and humiliation.