Post by dsb on Dec 31, 2017 18:27:17 GMT
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the Announcer called over the din of the crowd. “The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first, representing the Black Hats, hailing from Foxriver, New York... She stands five feet six inches tall and weighs in this evening at one hundred and thirty pounds. She is the All World Millennial… this is LYYYSSSSSSAAA ZAAAHHHNNN!!!!!”
Jeers claimed sole ownership of the FAWN Arena for a few seconds before they were soon joined by ‘Criticize‘.
LYSSA ZAHN:
Right on cue, the curtains slid apart as a ravishing brunette strode into view and paused atop the stage to take a trio of selfies. Satisfied with her results and disgusted with the collection of malcontents and neckbeards gathered for Season’s Beatings, the Vine Vixen slipped the smart phone back into a snug elastic band on her right arm and started down the aisle.
For the latest installment of her increasingly heated rivalry with a former FAWN World Champion, Lyssa wore predominately black spandex: a two piece, the top with thin, pink shoulder straps set at a slight angle, and a pink mesh “plate” over the clavicle, rising into a collar. The bottom rim of this piece and the neckline of the bikini top worked to create almost a heart-shaped “cleavage window.” Matching bottoms (with pink trim), pink wristbands and pads, and black boots completed the look.
Zahn made her way to the ring with a knowing smirk, basking as much in the derisive jeers as the whistles and looks of appreciation. As the saying went, the worst thing in wrestling was to be ignored, and one thing was certain: wherever the venue, the music of Lyssa Zahn was impossible to ignore. The brunette climbed the steps, slipped through the ropes and nearly skipped to her corner. Settling in against the buckles, Lyssa produced her phone once more and went to work setting up a half dozen different alerts and hashtags for everything that’d be trending by the time she finished with the washed-up blonde.
When the worst of the Lyssa-hate died down, the Announcer resumed his duties. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Bridgeport California she stands at five feet eight inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and thirty-four pounds, she is the Dangerous Dame… VERONICA TREYMANE!”
VERONICA TREYMANE:
A black & white flood swept away the Technicolor in an instant and the Treymane Gang greeted their Grayscale Goddess at the top of their lungs. Accompanied by Social Distortion’s ‘Machine Gun Blues’ the Pinstripe Powerhouse stormed through the curtain, paused atop the stage and flicked her trenchcoat aside to reveal the replica Thompson braced against one thigh. “You cost me a huge win at the Madhouse, Zahn.” Veronica said softly. “Tonight I cost you a few teeth.” Pleased at the idea, she raised the Thompson and pulled the trigger to sweep a blistering line of pyro across the aisle. Releasing the trigger only when the drum clicked empty, Veronica dropped the barking iron to her side and made quick time toward the squared circle.
For FAWN‘s last pay-per-view of 2017 the Neo-Noir Knockout wore the midnight blue version of her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt gleamed bright white, while her pads and boots matched the blue of her trunks. Her boots remained matte black, as per usual. Approaching the ring with none of her usual attention to the folks on the aisle, Treymane stomped up the steps and entered the ring without even pausing to wipe her boots on the apron.
Now Veronica always treated her fedora with a great deal of reverence when she dipped through the ropes, so Al knew trouble was at hand when the former World Champ doffed it with a single impatient flick of the wrist. Posting up between blonde and brunette because he was either the bravest or dumbest man in all of FAWN, the lanky official took a step forward and raised one hand. “Ease up, ‘Ronnie.” he said with hardly a quaver. “Match hasn’t started yet and you know I’ve gotta check you for weapons.”
Treymane took her eyes off Zahn long enough to deadpan, “You mean like this?” and raise the replica Thompson.
“Your cap gun doesn’t scare me, asshole.” Lyssa called from the corner, her tone simultaneously smug and contemptuous. “Stop flirting with the nerd and say your prayers.”
“Enough, Lys!” Carpenter didn’t dare take his eyes off Veronica, what with the Dangerous Dame ticking like a time-bomb with two seconds left on the clock. “I mean it, ‘Ronnie. “Get to your corner so we can start this off right.”
Treymane sighed, then ran a disgusted hand through her hair. “Fine. I’ll go. Just take my stuff, ok?” She handed him the Thompson without waiting for an answer, then shrugged out of the coat and draped it across the zebra’s shoulder.
Relieved by the peaceful resolution, Carpenter bustled away to hand the accoutrements to a FAWN tech, only to curse himself an imbecile when Treymane raced down the open lane and THAWHUMPED Zahn against the buckles with a full body Avalanche Splash!
The crowd didn’t mind of course, in fact they got all the louder as Veronica snatched a massive tangle of dark hair and unleashed on her tormentor’s forehead with a flurry of straight right hands! Caught flatfooted by the duplicitous bytch, Zahn covered up behind a hasty guard, but Treymane wrenched it apart and CRAAACKED her across the mouth with a forehand Bytch Slap before mounting the second rope. Controlling the other woman’s noggin with a double handful of hair, Veronica very deliberately twisted Lyssa’s head to one side, thereby forcing the Social Media Superstar’s stinging mug against the vengeful plank of her tummy. Zahn snarled in anger and pain, raked at the blonde‘s flanks, then dug her talons into Treymane’s glutes when she remained trapped in the corner.
The Pinstripe Powerhouse didn’t bat an eye. Instead she cupped one hand under Lyssa’s chin and wrenched her head up to force some unwanted eye contact. “I’m going to beat you into a stupor tonight, Daisy.” A clamor from her six told Treymane that Al was on his way over, so Veronica curled her other hand into a fist and punched as hard and fast as she could while the Season’s Beatings crowd did their best to keep up. ‘ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEV--’
Al wedged an arm between them, hooked Treymane around the waist and yanked her from the corner, much to the disgust of those in attendance. “That was CHEAP, Veronica!” he barked at the furious blonde. “Manipulation like that is her game, not yours! So knock it the hell off!”
“So you’d rather I just shoved you aside?” she countered. “I can do that too, Al.”
“What I want is for you to back off so I don’t have to WHOOOAAH!”
Zahn came off the buckles in a blur, yet somehow Treymane reacted fast enough to get Carpenter out of the way. Rebuking Lyssa’s attempted sneak attack with a rude shoulder to the sternum, the Neo-Noir Knockout laid claim to her foe’s wrist and bodied her back against the ropes. “Bell still hasn’t sounded, Daisy.” she hissed. “Wonder how much damage I can dish out before it does.”
Eager to find out, she stepped back and jerked the Tweeting Tyrant off the ropes with an Irish Whip. But rather than let Zahn free to continue on her way, ‘Ronnie dug in her heels and yanked the brunette back the way she came. The trip proved short and painful as Treymane stepped forward and pistoned her right knee up into the side of Lyssa’s skull. Zahn went down like a felled tree, the Black Hat landing flat on her face much to the delight of everyone not named Algernon Carpenter.
IRISH WHIP KNEELIFT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTzPdNjm8VM
“I swear to god, ‘Ronnie.” the ref muttered. “One more cheap shot and I’ll throw this shyt show out and take whatever heat comes my way. Is that really what you want?”
“I want you to ring the goddamned bell and then step aside.” she growled.
“Then step BACK.” Al ordered. “I need to make sure she’s even fit to continue.”
“Whaaa… what kind of dumbshyt question is that?” the Insta-gator grunted as she fought to verticality. “It’s gonna take more than one halfhearted cheap shot to keep me down.” she paused, taunting her blonde with a devilish smile. “I’m not Rachel, after all.”
“You gutless CUNT!” Treymane surged forward and dipped low to get beneath Al’s outstretched hands. This proved a dangerous decision, not just in testing the official’s resolve, but because it meant her head was at just the right level for Zahn to intercept with a THWHONKING Kneelift! The Pinstripe Powerhouse started to crumple, got interrupted by Lyssa, who propped her up in a snug Front Facelock. Snatching a handful of trunks for extra leverage, Zahn kicked one leg forward and laid out on her back to spike the crown of her skull into the mat courtesy a Snap DDT.
SNAP DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l7vq62Znl0
Delighted by the low thrum that ran through the canvas-sheathed plywood, Lyssa rolled to one knee and would’ve buried a hand in the blonde’s hair if Carpenter hadn’t reached out and grabbed her wrist. “One warning, Lyssa. If you do anything other than take a selfie in the next ten seconds, I’ll fine you for so much your next post will come from a flip phone.”
Zahn’s dark eyes narrowed to slots for a moment, then she shook her head and rose to her full height. “I can respect that, Carpenter. Go check on the little bytch. Make sure she didn’t smuggle in anything in those ugly trunks. Then ring the bell and step the f*ck aside.”
He extended a warning hand to the Black Hat. “I mean it, Lyssa.” Zahn stepped back, pulled her phone from its wide elastic band and tapped a few buttons.
“So do I. Now do your job so I can improve your score on Rate-A-Ref.”
Al hesitated, but ultimately turned his back when he saw Lyssa’s attention was elsewhere. Crouching over Treymane, who’d made it to all fours in the wake of the skull-jarring drop, he said, “You good to go, ‘Ronnie? I’m about to ring the bell.”
Treymane nodded, stifled a groan as she clambered to boot-leather. “Should’ve rang it three minutes ago Shamus.” She shooed him aside and refocused on Lyssa. “Put the phone down, Daisy. It’s time to--” the CLANG of the bell interrupted her, as did Zahn’s flat out charge! Throwing a leg back to brace herself against the “UUUNNGGH!”
Lyssa slammed a shoulder into her belly and Treymane did double over, but her makeshift kickstand slowed the brunette’s encroachment long enough for ‘Ronnie to wrap her arms around opposing waist. Undeterred by the Bear Hug squeeze, the Social Media Superstar hooked her fingers into the former champion’s briefs and--”NNNGGGHH!” Treymane ended the wedgie before it began with an overhead Forearm Smash that THWHAPPED across her rival’s lower back like a tire iron wrapped in velvet. “Don’t even think about it, Daisy.” the Dangerous Dame warned. “Pulling my ‘stripes is a good way to get an up close and personal WHOOOANNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Lyssa swept Treymane’s feet out from under her with a Double Leg Takedown and immediately tacked on a Kneedrop between the other woman’s thighs. “God, I love it when they talk tuff!” Zahn sighed after throwing her foe’s stems aside. “Makes for the perfect jump cut. First tuff talk, then BAM, her face is buried under my ass!”
“Ease off the trunk work, Lyssa.” Al said from a short distance away. “You don’t need that cheap crap to win.”
The Pintrest Pin-Up flashed him an irritated look. “Of course I don’t NEED to, Carpenter. It doesn’t take a MENSA member to see I’m better in every way. But making this arrogant hipster queen shriek for mercy is just so much fun!”
Veronica had other notions of course, yet she chose to keep them to herself while she rolled to her stomach and struggled to all fours. She’d hoped a bit of silence and Zahn’s own ego would keep the brunette preoccupied, alas Lyssa honed in on her at once and made the Dangerous Dame pay with a quick Double Axehandle to the nape of the neck. Set on one knee off the blonde’s left side, Zahn took possession of Treymane’s wrist and stretched it out so that her forearm was pressed firm against the Black Hat’s posted thigh. Bracing her other hand against ‘Ronnie’s exposed bicep, Lyssa got up on her toes and pushed down, using the increased leverage to force her rival’s face and chest against the canvas.
“Think you’re gonna wriggle away without me noticing?” Zahn folded Treymane’s left hand up between her shoulders in a Hammerlock, then wedged her right knee against the trapped limb to keep it place without occupying either hand. “Not gonna be that easy tonight, bytch.” To illustrate she put one hand on the blonde’s right shoulder and the other on her right hip, keeping ‘Ronnie nice & snug against the mat while she raised her left foot and scuffed it across Treymane’s face once, twice, three times!
HAMMERLOCK FACE WASHING:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVAHXc63oi8
Veronica didn’t take it lying down (figuratively, at least), she worked against the Hammerlock and Face Washing as best she could, but her position was awful and it only got worse when Lyssa secured a grip on her right wrist and craaaaaaaaaaaaanked the whole arm up and back at a painful angle. “Careful not to cringe at the ungodly strain put on Treymane’s shoulder and right arm, Al closed in on the action and asked, “What do you say, Veronica? Need me to call for the--”
“Boring!” Lyssa looked up from her efforts to touch Treymane’s fingertips to her forearm to let the official know she wasn’t amused. “Shyt Carpenter, I wasted precious ass-kicking time to update your score at Rate-A-Ref and how do you repay me? With dumb-shyt questions! Of COURSE she wants to give up, but she’s not going to do it just yet. So here’s a much more interesting inquiry. Should I pass the time by yanking ’Ronnie’s overrated tits right out of this Party City top of hers? Or should I bite her fingers off one knuckle at a time?”
Furious over the demeaning pose, Veronica squirmed and smacked a boot against the mat, but still couldn’t free herself from the Hammerlock or the Armbar. Teeth bared in obvious frustration, the Neo-Noir Knockout growled, “I can’t believe you’re so good at trash talk in person, Daisy. Usually your best work comes from behind the safety of a keyboaRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!”
Zahn leaned forward and chomped down on Veronica’s fingers, the brunette’s threat to make them an evening snack apparently quite real.
“Break the hold, Lyssa!” Al ordered after an internal five count. She only smirked around those locally sourced ladyfingers, so the ref offered a much more emphatic count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!” Lyssa spat them out with a little flourish, sprang to verticality and raised both arms in a jaunty ‘V’ while planting one foot on the side of Veronica’s vulnerable skull.
“I WANNA BE TAGGED IN ALL THOSE PHOTOS, PEOPLE!” the Social Media Superstar roared into the sea of camera phones. “HASHTAG ‘HELPLESS DAME! HASHTAG ‘KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!’ HASHTAG ‘WHOOPIN’ THAT ASS!’”
Another half a dozen hashtags might’ve followed if Treymane hadn’t swatted the intruding boot aside and thus regained the Tweeting Tyrant’s ire. “Oh, do you still think this is an actual match, honey?” Zahn plunged a hand into Veronica’s hair and hauled her off the mat. “It’s not. This is my coronation, it’s just disguised as a fighNNNNNNGGHHHH!”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse caught her with a quick Forearm Smash to the cheek, then snagged a double handful of hair and jerked Lyssa down into a Kneelift that THWHONKED against one temple. Staggered by the unexpected shots, Zahn stumbled in a couple fencepost holes en route to crumpling to one knee several feet removed from the former World Champion.
“Coronation my ass.” Treymane growled as she drew a bead on the side of her brunette’s skull. “This is a mugging, pure and simple.” Lyssa started to rise, so Veronica backed up a step just to ensure she had enough space to build up a good head of steam when she charged the Insta-Gator and-- groans of disappointment from those assembled when Lyssa drew back at just the right time to avoid a potentially match-ending strike. Worse yet for the Treymane Gang, the brunette hooked an arm around their heroine’s waist and hoisted her into the air like she was nothing more than a sack of laundry. Using her other arm to keep the Dame’s legs bundled tight, Lyssa spun through two whole rotations before she dropped to her knees and THWHUMPED ‘Ronnie down on her back as the victim of a Spinning Kneel Out Sidewalk Slam! Treymane wound up stretched out flat, so Zahn draped over her chest in a Crossbody and hooked the far leg for…
SPINNING KNEEL-OUT SIDEWALK SLAM:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgfhpHw_g9w
ONE…
TWO…
Veronica shoved her away with a full second to spare, much to the brunette’s disgust. On her feet in a flash, Lyssa framed her foe’s woozy countenance in a handmade rectangle, presumably to make sure she had the best angle for her next attack. Satisfied on that front, she spun on her heel and ran the ropes in front of the seated blonde and returned mere heartbeats later, the Black Hat dropping onto her knees in a high speed skid, one hand already reared back to slap the taste out of Ronnie’s mou--NO!
Veronica snatched her foe’s wrist at the last possible second and twisted to one side, using Lyssa’s own momentum to stretch the cocky brat out on her belly. Still in control of Zahn’s left arm, Treymane yanked it out to one side and deftly threaded it between her thighs. Ankles locked in the span between heartbeats, the Dangerous Dame reached over the prostrate wrestler’s torso, slid her left arm under Lyssa’s right bicep and wrenched it backward at an unpleasant angle.
“F*CK!” Lyssa kept her chin tucked and her forehead down, the struggling battler doing everything she could to keep Veronica from “AAAARRRRHHH GAAAAAAAAHHHH BYTCH!” No use, the Neo-Noir Knockout laced her hands around Zahn’s head, snugged an S-grip against the side of her face and earned the aforementioned wail by pouring her power into the Noirevoir.
NOIREVOIR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXZQRy3KpZE
“Watch your mouth, Daisy!” Veronica chided after she’d worked the hold for a good five seconds. “After all, it’d be awfully hard to keep your followers updated with two broken arms, wouldn’t it?” She bore down on all three parts of the hold to earn another pained hiss from the brunette.
“What do you say, Lyssa?” Al asked once the initial round of cursing died down. “Can you continue?”
“Of course she can.” Treymane’s voice held a hard edge the ref hadn’t heard more than once her twice in the whole of her FAWN career. “In fact she probably wants you get out of the way so everyone can see how tough she looks when she’s crawling to the ropes…. or maybe she’s going to tap out right now. Is that it, Lyssa?” The Gorgeous Gangster shifted her grip so she could treat Zahn’s cheek to a condescending pat. “What’s it gonna be, Daisy? Are you an inspiring GIF or a quitter meme?” Interested to learn the answer, Veronica fell silent and set out to yank her prey’s shoulders out of socket.
Back wrenched at an ungodly by the agonizing stretch, Zahn kept her eyes closed tight as she growled, “You’re the only quitter in this ring, bytch. Sammain proved that when she exposed your overrated ass at All Hallows EviLLEEEERRRRHH!”
Veronica doubled down on her grip, the force of it actually twisting Lyssa from her belly to the point of one hip. This did nothing for the firestorm in her shoulders but the pressure on her lower back slackened considerably. Opening her eyes confirmed the ropes were exactly where they’d been the last time she checked, only now the Black Hat knew they weren’t out of reach. Above her, Treymane tightened her hooks and taunted, “You want to talk about exposed, Daisy? I’m not the one that’s been sitting here for thirty seconds wailing like a brat with a skinned knee.”
“Oh bytch, I am gonna BREAK that attitude.” Zahn huffed. “Just as soon as I break this shytty--” Rather than finish her sentence the Social Media Superstar pushed back into Veronica’s clutches and bicycled her legs until… Lyssa made it to a slumped seat, effectively transforming the Noirevoir into a modified Crucifix. Of course the torque against her shoulders and neck was still remarkably unpleasant, but the new arrangement allowed her to set her heels against the mat and draaaaaaaaaaag the both of them across the mat toward sanctuary.
Aware that she’d have to abandon the hold sooner than later, ‘Ronnie resolved to make the brunette work for every inch of canvas. To that end she ground her knuckles back n’ forth against the side of Zahn’s face and purred, “What’s the matter, Lys? Too much time on Instagram and not enough time working submission drills?” She leaned in, wedged the point of her chin into the hollow of her foe’s shoulder so she could murmur in her ear. “And here I thought you might be a threat. Turns out you’re nothing more than an extremely aggressive troll.”
The pressure on her neck made it impossible for the brunette to shake her head in disgust, yet another slight that’d need avenging before the night was over. “Get your licks in now, candy-ass.” she threatened. “Because the next time we lock up I am going to SCHOOL you in the fine art of submitting a byOOOOWWWW F*CKER!”
Treymane bit the lobe of Zahn’s ear, a stroke of pure cattiness she indulged until Al swatted her shoulder and barked, “Knock it off, Veronica.”
She pulled away without complaint, then planted a quick kiss on Lyssa’s cheek. “Look how quickly he jumped in to protect you! Maybe you need to bump up that rating ag--”
The Tweeting Tyrant slid forward one more time and managed to lock her ankles around the bottom rope. “Break the hold you piece of shyt.” Lyssa panted. “Break it or I’ll HEY! NO! NO DAMMIT, I MADE THE ROPES!” That was true enough, however Treymane wasn’t quite finished with the Pintrest Pin-Up so she relinquished the Scissors and the S-grip to take control of Zahn’s arms with a simple Double Chickenwing. A single hard jerk on those weakened arms allowed the former champ to wrench her opponent away from safety and back to the canvas wasteland of center ring. “You cheap skank.” Lyssa snarled amidst trying to drive a heel into Treymane’s boots. “You’re gonna be the sorriest bytch on-line when I get done with WHOOAANNNNGGGGHHH!”
Veronica sank into a deep crouch, popped her hips and arched backward in a beautiful bridge that THWHUMPED Zahn down flush on the back of her head and shoulders. Folded in half by the textbook Tiger Suplex, Lyssa struggled and fought while Carpenter counted…
TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U0QTnWKwbA
ONE…
TWO…
Zahn kicked loose and flopped onto her side, the black-clad battler drawing her throbbing arms tight to her chest. Veronica allowed herself a moment to catch her breath, though the astute observer noted she never took her eyes off Lyssa and those injured arms in particular. “Get up, Daisy.” The Pinstripe Powerhouse took possession of Zahn’s left wrist and gave it a hard yank. “C’mon, it’s time you made me the sorriest bytch on-line. That’s your plan, isn’t it?”
Lyssa didn’t answer, she was still woozy from the Suplex and understandably preoccupied trying to free her arm from Treymane’s grasp. No luck there though, she had no choice but to follow orders as ‘Ronnie used the simple joint-lock to make her clamber to verticality. Quiet now that there was work to be done, Veronica folded Lyssa’s captured arm behind her back in a Hammerlock, then dipped under her prey’s right arm to sidle in beside her while still maintaining control over the left wrist. Sensing trouble, Zahn buried her free hand in Treymane’s long locks and punished her with a hard yank. “Let go of me, sweetie.” the Black Hat demanded. “Unless you want to eat your extensSSSNNNNNGGGHHH!” The Neo-Noir Knockout angled her left leg over Lyssa’s right, leaned forward and snapped back with all her weight to THWHUMP Zahn against the deck courtesy of a Hammerlock Russian Leg Sweep.
HAMMERLOCK RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y1Q7h1-ZBI
Lyssa sat up at once, that tormented left arm held against her midsection like she worried it might fall off if given too much space. “You really think you’re in position to threaten me right now, Daisy?” Treymane questioned as she used a combination chin grip and hair pull to scrape Zahn off the canvas. “Or maybe you’re still talking because in the end threats is all you haveERRRHHH!”
The TweetStormTrooper went back to the hair-pull, fully intended to liberate a patch of the blonde’s scalp. “Did it feel like a threat when I put your punk-ass sister on the shelf, ‘Ronnie? Because the blood on my knuckles felt pretty f*cking ERRRRRHHH SHYT!”
Although a retaliatory hair-pull would have been fine, Treymane chose an even rougher approach and raaaaaaaaaaaked her fingers across the brunette’s eyes! Lyssa yowled and Al barked a warning, but Veronica ignored both to clamp down on Zahn’s left wrist. A quick Irish Whip sent Lyssa toward the ropes, though she only got to arm’s length before the Dangerous Dame reeled her back into another shoulder-shredding Hammerlock. To make matters worse, Veronica cinched her left arm around Zahn’s neck and bent her backward in an Inverted Facelock while maintaining the Hammerlock with her right hand. “Oh Daisy, I’m gonna tear you out by the roots and stomp you into the sidewalk.” From there she pushed onto her toes and dropped to her butt to THAWHAM Lyssa down with a Reverse DDT that deposited the brunette’s full bodyweight atop her pinioned arm. Zahn shrieked, rolled onto her side and was tugged back to her back so Treymane could stretch across her chest and hook the far leg for…
HAMMERLOCK INVERTED DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzbLsMIILlI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Insta-Gator shoved ‘Ronnie away and rolled to her stomach, Lyssa desperate to keep her shoulders and arms safe for even a few precious seconds.
“That’s right, bytch. Cover up and cringe.”
“F*ck off slut.” Zahn hissed through clenched teeth. “You’re gonna EEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHH STAAAAAHHP!”
Veronica yanked the brunette’s phone out of its elastic sleeve, pressed the narrow end against Lyssa’s temple and grrrrrrrrooooound it back n’ forth.
“Hey! Cut it out, Veronica! Give me the damned phone!”
Treymane pressed down and kept working her wrist, trying to force the gadget straight through Zahn’s skull. “You want it, Al? I’ll need to hear a count.”
Al obliged quickly enough and when he hit ‘FOUR!’ she tossed it to him without so much as a word. “Feel naked without your phone, tramp?” Veronica paintbrushed the brunette’s cheeks with a flurry of taunting slaps as she got to her feet. “You’ll feel even worse after this match is over.”
Zahn hunkered down behind a rough guard, then lashed out with a blind slap that grazed Treymane’s thigh. “Tough talk, bytch.” she growled. “Everyone in the locker room knows you’re a terminal goody two-NNNNNNGGGHH!”
‘Ronnie stamped on the Black Hat’s belly, making a point to drive her heel into the sweet spot just below the navel. “You have no idea who you’re screwing with, Daisy.” the Gorgeous Gangster sneered at her gaping opposition. “No idea at all. But I promise you will.” A quick glance around told her that Al was maintaining safe distance, so she walked a wide circle around the beleaguered Black Hat en route to the corner directly behind Zahn. The crowd roared all the louder as Treymane settled in against the buckles and though she wanted to acknowledge their support she was loathe to do anything that might give Lyssa a hint about the bolt of Chicago Lightning with her name on it.
And so Zahn remained blissfully ignorant of the danger, the Vine Vixen instead focused solely on subduing her existing aches and mustering the reserves to haul herself off the mat. It took ‘til ‘SEVEN!’ on Carpenter’s count but Lyssa did just that, even if in rising she did it with her back to the looming blonde. Realization dawned just as Treymane charged, Zahn taking a knee even as she whirled around and THWHUMP!
Roars of outrage and moans of sympathetic anguish from the capacity crowd when the Social Media Superstar drove a short, savage Uppercut into her opponent’s crotch!
Froze in her tracks by tawdry strike, a knock-kneed Treymane doubled over in anguish, both hands wedged between her thighs. The look on her face was so priceless Lyssa just HAD to have it for her collection, so you can imagine her disgust and outrage when she reached for the elastic sleeve and discovered it empty. “I’ve got your phone, Lyssa.” Al said with a disapproving cluck. “You can have it back when the match is over.”
Zahn refrained from knocking the zebra’s face sideways by standing up and wedging the wobbly bytch’s head between her thighs. “What the hell is this, Carpenter? Sixth grade?”
The official patted the outline of the gadget tucked into the front pocket of his striped shirt. “I’m sure Ms. Krabappel didn’t let you have phones in class.”
Lyssa started to respond, only to hold off long enough to THWHAP several stiff Forearm Smashes into the protesting curve of Treymane’s back. Then she cinched her arms around Veronica’s waist and squeezed hard enough to make the blonde wheeze. Finally returning her attention to the zebra, she snorted, “Her name was Mrs. Morris, and she wasn’t half the bytch you are, Al.”
Wasn’t much to say after that, so Carpenter kept his mouth shut while Lyssa muscled the Dangerous Dame onto her shoulders, posed her for a moment, then dropped down in a splay-legged ‘V’ to THAWHAM Treymane against the canvas courtesy a Sit-Out Powerbomb. Certain she’d finished the Pinstripe Poseur with this latest GIF-worthy offense, Zahn hooked her calves over Veronica’s biceps and leaned into those upturned haunches for a count of…
SIT-OUT POWERBOMB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBEWXOmddoI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Modern Day Moll proved resilient, wresting free of her foe’s clutches with half a second to spare.
Lyssa gave Carpenter a withering look, but saved the brunt of her wrath for ‘Ronnie, who she punished with a still slap to the ribs. “I gotta know, do you really think I just picked your name off the website and said ‘yeah, I’m gonna wreck this chick’s shyt today?’” Zahn asked once she’d hauled the former champ to her feet with a double handful of shoulder straps. “I got news for you honey, this was a meticulously researched campaign! I watched every bit of footage in Allard’s archive before Leah and I punked your big sister.” She punctuated with a quick Headbutt between the eyes, then slipped an arm between Treymane’s stems and slung the other over one shoulder, all the better to muscle her up across her chest. “EVERYTHING I’ve done was designed with the sole intention of pissing you off. This for instance…”
The Tweeting Tyrant patted Veronica’s defenseless glutes which was bad enough, it was the single sharp pinch that made it nigh intolerable. “Yeah, growl and hiss all you want, loser. Your ass belongs to me now.” And indeed Zahn’s actions proved her a stern custodian, as Treymane and the FAWNatics both learned when she reached the corner and deposited her prey face-up across the top ropes on a sharp diagonal. The former champ didn’t need to Facebook stalk Lyssa to know what came next, she’d spent plenty of afternoons in the archive researching both Black Hats in preparation for this match. Trying to sit up with nothing but the rubber-coated steel for support proved a challenging task, yet Treymane gave it her all and might have succeeded if Zahn hadn’t scored her face with three quick slashes!
Al barked a warning but he might as well have been on MySpace for all the attention Lyssa paid him. Mounting up on the bottom rope for a better vantage point, Zahn cupped her left hand over ‘Ronnie’s chin and pushed down hard. “Like I said, I researched the f*ck out of you coming into this project.” she cooed to the defenseless blonde. “And ya know what I learned? You crumble under pressure, Daisy.” Treymane uttered a muffled curse, reached for Zahn’s throat and paid the price in the form of a heavy overhand Forearm Smash administered directly across the tits. One was enough to knock the wind out of her, alas Lyssa was in the mood for a Zahnlyphone solo and she PAK-PAK-PAK-PAAAK’ed away at her rival’s torso and tummy until a ‘FOUR’ from Al cleared her away from the corner with both arms raised overhead.
“What are you doing? Do you want to take a picture of her?” Zahn sniffed when the ref moved in to check on his charge. “Look, you don’t know anything about lighting and filters, just give me my phone and I’ll--”
Carpenter rounded on her, the lanky official looking uncharacteristically stern. “One more word about your phone and I’ll give it to Cassandra to feed through her wood chipper.”
Lyssa recoiled in horror. “Vale has a wood chipper? Of course she does. You know what, it doesn’t matter, just--”
The TweetStormTrooper rushed the corner, forcing Al to dip aside, lest he eat the Double Axehandle Zahn THWHUMPED into her rival’s navel. ‘Ronnie ‘Unnnnggghhhed’ and sagged on the springy perch but she didn’t fall, so the brunette grabbed her at shoulder and hip and turned her over to face the apron. Clearing off before she could lament all the shots she was missing, Zahn dropped into a backward somersault that brought her up near center ring. It also gave her more than enough room to break into a flat out sprint, thus making the knee she DRILLED into Veronica’s abdomen that much more painful.
“Oh, did that impress you?” Lyssa swatted a nonsense pattern on Treymane’s churning glutes as she taunted the FAWNatics. “Well I hope all your data plans have unlimited storage. Because you’re gonna want HD video of what comes next.” Crouching slightly, the Vine Vixen got her shoulders under Veronica’s brutalized midsection and hoisted her out of the ropes with a simple Fireman’s Carry. Desperate to find a way out of this blind alley, the Dangerous Dame managed a single awkward elbow to the side of Zahn’s noggin, alas it only motivated the brunette to put a little more ‘oomph’ on her rapid descent to the mat, Lyssa just crushing the air from her blonde’s lungs with a Samoan Drop.
Lyssa almost hooked a leg, then dismissed the notion. There was still vengeance to be had and she wanted, no, she NEEDED the world to see her dispose of this overrated marketing ploy. Positioned between the corner and her breathless adversary, Zahn glanced back and forth to gauge the distance before walking over Veronica (or rather, on, as she purposely jammed one boot in the blonde’s belly) so she could lay claim to ankle and wrist and draaaaaaag the gut-shot Gun Moll closer to the center. Lyssa tossed those captured limbs aside once she had her target lined up and quickly made her way back to the corner (once again making a point to apply boot to Treymane’s belly) and quickly ascended to the high rent district.
“C’mon Carpenter, you gotta take a picture of this!” Zahn called to the official even as her shadow hung over the blonde’s defenseless midsection.
Al removed her phone from his pocket and said, “Sure. What’s your password?”
Lyssa opened her mouth to reply, then snapped it shut. “Nice try, asshole.”
Denied what should’ve been a great action shot, the Vine Vixen took her anger out on ‘Ronnie with a gorgeous leap into the aether. Touching her toes at the apex, Zahn stretched out full length and brought every bit of her hundred and thirty pounds THAWHAMMING down atop Treymane’s chest in a flawless Frog Splash! Left gaping and breathless in the aftermath, Veronica turned onto her side, but Zahn caught her at shoulder and hip and tugged her right back to start. To make matters worse, the Black Hat slung a leg across her victim’s torso, took a heavy seat on her chest and hooked both legs in a tight bundle. Al was already swooping in to count, not that it stopped Lyssa from leaaaaaaaaaaaning back until she’d folded the blonde in half. Elsewhere, several thousand FAWNatics joined Al in tolling…
10/10 FROG SPLASH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_RiYwZByko
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Dangerous Dame fought loose with a half second to spare, much to the delight of the capacity crowd and the disgust of Lyssa Zahn. Twining her fingers in the former champ’s hair without so much as a word, Zahn dragged Treymane to her feet, threaded an arm through her legs and scooped her up onto the point of one shoulder. From there she stomped to the middle of the ring, rose onto tiptoe and THWHUMPED Veronica to the deck with a big Body Slam.
“Some troll stole my phone!” the brunette shouted to anyone who would listen. “So I want you people to catch this from every angle! You hear me? EVERY ANGLE!”
Those proud members of the Treymane Gang answered with nothing but scorn, however there were enough cheers mixed in with the vitriol to put a smile on Zahn’s face as she spun around and bounced off the ropes to her blonde’s left. ’Ronnie was vaguely aware of the incoming threat, alas she didn’t have the energy to roll clear before Lyssa went airborne and came down ass-first on her chest with the first of four Zahn Bombs! Treymane’s legs flopped into the air, not that the Tweeting Tyrant paid them any mind. She’d already popped to her feet, peeled off a quick turn and ran the ropes directly south of her target.
“UUUUNNNNNGGGHHH!” Veronica took the second Zahn Bomb full force but at least made an effort to push her attacker off. Unfortunately the defiance only angered Lyssa, who snatched a single handful of hair and BWUNKED the base of her opponent’s skull against the mat.
“Stay down, tramp.” Lyssa snapped when she was back on her feet. “This GIF-set’s only half done.” Already thinking about how she’d cut the different angles together, the black-clad brunette turned around, bounced off the ropes and came back THAWHACK! A whole arena roared in surprised delight when Treymane exploded off the canvas, whirled through a full rotation and came out the other side with a Lariat that caught Lyssa flush across the chest! Turned inside out by the monstrous blow, Zahn landed flat on her face and offered no resistance when a weary Veronica shot the Half Nelson and rolled her over for the…
DISCUS LARIAT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIFmR7PTAfs
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Lyssa proved herself far more resilient that the average internet troll by inching a shoulder off the mat at the last possible second. Apparently unconcerned with her opponent’s escape, Treymane snatched Zahn by the ears and hauled her to boot leather. Anyone expecting some sort of snappy verbal barb from the Neo-Noir Knockout was left wanting as ‘Ronnie simply unleashed with a Forearm Smash and a left handed Bytch Slap almost simultaneously. This was followed by a snappy kick to the brunette’s left thigh and a whistling right handed Backfist that CRAAACKED against Zahn’s right ear.
Now ‘Ronnie usually finished the Drive By Night with a Discus Lariat but since she’d so recently turned Lyssa’s head with such a maneuver, she changed things up by snatching a double handful of hair and jerking the Vine Vixen’s noggin down into a high THONKING Kneelift that rocked Zahn back on her heels. Steadying the other woman’s footing with a rough grip on her hair, Veronica flattened her other hand into a paddle and slapped Lyssa across the mouth! Zahn’s face snapped sideways, then she was pulled down and in, Treymane corralling her with a Front Facelock. Slinging Lyssa’s near arm across her shoulders, the Pinstripe Powerhouse snatched hold of her foe’s waistband and used it to haul the Black Hat directly overhead. Though she was bound and determined to make Lyssa Zahn into a smear on the canvas, Treymane held her in place for a good five seconds, the blonde reminding the fans, her rival and every other woman in that locker room why she was considered a standard-bearer among FAWN’s new generation. Once she’d proved her point Veronica bent her knees and tossed Lyssa out and forward, the Pintrest Pin-Up dropped into a long freefall made all the more emphatic when Treymane caught her around the hips and dropped to her tush to THAWHAM her brunette into the deck courtesy a ridiculous Powerbomb. As impressed with the Pinstripe Crush as the rest of the crowd, Carpenter forced his inner fan-boy down long enough to count the…
PINSTRIPE CRUSH @ 00:44
www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5pUKCSpP8g
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Zahn slopped onto her belly with less than a whisper to spare, the previously domineering battler looking as shopworn and used up as the first time she’d crossed paths with the Neo-Noir Knockout. Beside her, Veronica Treymane raked a hand through her hair as she regarded her wounded opposition. “I should make you scream for mercy.” she rasped. “But I’m goddamned sick of your mouth, Daisy.” Zahn had nothing to say to that, which made it all the more satisfying when the former World Champ peeled her off the mat and stuffed her head under one arm. Finally breaking into a grin as the crowd cheered for the Double Underhook, Veronica clasped her hands and called, “TIME TO CUT SOME DAISWHOOOAAAANNNNNNGGGHHHH!”
For all her Twitter jargon and Snap Chat savvy, Lyssa Zahn was an incredibly astute student of wrestling, as she proved when she abruptly plowed into her blonde and drove the both of them into the far corner with a heavy THWHUMP! The control on her arms vanished in the collision, yet Lyssa made no attempt to seek separation. Rather she clamped down on the middle rope with both hands and hurled herself into Treymane’s midsection with no less than half a dozen Shoulderblo--
“EEERRRRRRGGGHHHH!” Veronica intercepted the last shot with a harsh Kneelift to the dome, then slapped on a Front Facelock and went to town on her brunette’s upper back with a series of overhand Forearm Smashes that echoed like rife shots.
Momentarily flummoxed by the ferocity these two mustered after enduring such heavy punishment, Al shook it off and waded into the fracas. “All right ladies break it up, break it up right now! ‘Ronnie, let go of Lyssa’s head, Lyssa let go of those ropes and straighten up!” The message got through after about three repetitions and blonde and brunette did indeed stop brawling, but their nose to nose staredown wasn’t doing anything for Carpenter’s blood pressure. “Easy now.” Al coaxed as he *carefully* slipped an arm between his charges. “Now I want both of you to raise your hands and when that’s done Lyssa can take a few steps back.”
They complied in slow motion, each woman looking for the slightest reason to resume the hard-hearted brawling. But their détente held, even when both sets of hands were just above shoulder level and almost twitching to get at the hair or face of her adversary. “Count yourself lucky, Daisy.” Treymane growled. “That’s the last time you’re gonna have someone around to pull me--” Zahn pressed in against the encroaching official to spit in the blonde’s face! There wasn’t even time for a ‘you done f*cked up now’ moment of silence, the Neo-Noir Knockout simply swatted Al aside and filled both hands with Zahn’s dark locks.
Lyssa’s world exploded in anguish and she knew damned well that Treymane could scalp her in a heartbeat, yet she endured the hurt just long enough to jab a thumb into her attacker’s left eye!
Veronica shrieked and immediately abandoned the hair pull to tend to her blurred vision, which Lyssa allowed since it made it that much easier to reel the former World Champion into a stiff Front Facelock. Al sputtered nonsensical outrage over one affront or another, not that Zahn acknowledged him with anything more than a smile as she dragged the blinded blonde out to the center of the ring. “Gotcha now, bytch.” the Black Hat declared once she’d tossed ‘Ronnie’s near arm across her shoulders. “Can’t wait to see what sort of headline Gladiatrix runs next to this Clickbait.”
Treymane’s answer was a weak slap to the brunette’s midsection, hardly enough to keep Zahn from muscling her off the deck and all the way to one o’clock. Rather than continue on to high noon, Lyssa broke her grip on Veronica’s waistband, then twisted in a half circle and caught her prey’s noggin in both hands. It was loose as far as Three Quarter Facelocks went, unfortunately for the Treymane Gang it was still sturdy enough to THWHUNK their heroine’s face into the thinly-sheathed plywood. Stretched out flat on her face after taking that poisoned Clickbait, Veronica offered no resistance when Lyssa shot the Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back to secure the far leg for…
CLICKBAIT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejWU6DgHreA
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Incredulity all around as Treymane twitched a shoulder off the mat with no more than a whisper between herself and defeat. Six months ago Zahn would’ve sprang to boot leather and kicked Carpenter’s junk up between his shoulders. But Leah had spent long hours teaching the Vine Vixen to focus the blaze of her ire into a single white-hot flame and that’s what she did now. Treating ’Ronnie to a bit of the hair pulling that’d almost snatched her bald a moment prior, Zahn got to her feet and forced the blonde to do the same. Without so much as a word she dipped her right shoulder, slipped that arm between Treymane’s thighs and boosted her up n’ across in a Fireman’s Carry. Not bothering to keep the triumphant smirk off her face, Lyssa swung around to face the hard camera and said, “Welcome to the Wall of Shame, beeyotch.” She bent her knees and shoved Veronica’s legs high into the air, then twisted into the descending blonde so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Treymane down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8J2HF5BL3U
Driven to Insta-infamy by the power of Zahn’s ‘Meme Generator’, ‘Ronnie looked like nothing more than a pinstriped tackling dummy when the Tweeting Tyrant threw a leg across her torso to plant tush on fluttering tummy. From there she reached forward, hooked Treymane’s right leg behind the knee and leaned aaaaaaaaaalllllll the way back, just folding her rival in half for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
The bell CLANGED, Lyssa slung that defeated limbs aside and sprang to verticality as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
Carpenter stepped in to raise her hand only to stop shy when the Black Hat snapped her fingers. “Algernon! My phone. Now!”
Al made a face, but he’d made a promise so he pulled the gadget from his pocket and tossed it to Lyssa. Hooked into her Instagram account so fast it was scary, Lyssa took a few quick shots to check lighting and angles and was pleased with how they came out. “All right, we’re good to go.” she murmured before she went live. “All right all you trolls, troglodytes, attention whores and neck beards, it is I, your triumphant goddess, Lyssa Zahn back with another installment of your favorite not so guilty pleasure, The Wall of Shame!” She held the phone at arm’s length and turned in a circle, letting her followers bask in her broadcasted greatness. “Tonight we’ve got a very SPECIAL brick for the Wall, but before I introduce her, I think it only fair that I accessorize. Please hold!”
Careful to keep herself in frame, Lyssa sauntered over to the far corner of the squared circle, plucked Treymane’s fedora from the steel post and set it on her head at a jaunty angle. “Damn, I wasn’t sure if I could rock thrift store chic, but I make this look better than ‘Lexie or this hack,” she jerked a thumb at the flattened blonde, “ever could. And speaking of hacks, here’s a Life Hack that’ll let you punish a hapless skank while taking the a flawless selfie. First, extend your right arm like so…” she held the phone up and away to demonstrate, “…then cock your left arm and pull it back until your fist is almost touching your ear. Got it? Good. Next step, find an obnoxious bytch. Now, you’ll have to go out and find your own, but for sake of convenience, I’ve got one right here.”
Lyssa stepped aside to get Treymane in the shot. “Make sure your obnoxious bytch is stretched out flat. Once she is, push up on your tiptoes and lay out with all your weight…” Zahn did just that, the Vine Vixen ouging a great, gaudy Ric Flair Elbow Drop between Veronica’s breasts.
The Pinstripe Powerhouse jolted like she’d been shocked and her predicament only got worse when Lyssa scooted forward and pinned her throat under her encroaching bicep! Cheek resting on her left hand, Zahn was all smiles as she finished her lesson. “As you can see, this is a great angle to compare and contrast your glowing victory with the obnoxious bytch’s smudgy-faced humilitation. From here you can get all the shots you want AND have a comfortable perch to post from once you’re satisfied. Make sure to tag your cushion in anything you post. Mine’s name is Veronica, not that anyone will remember her in a few months. Now get out of here, losers. I’ve got shyt to do.”
Zahn ended the stream and when she was sure she had her privacy (such as it was), the brunette rolled onto her stomach and wrapped a hand around Treymane’s throat. “Don’t even THINK that this is over yet, sweet girl. This isn’t a troll job or a flame war, this is a f*cking smear campaign and by the time I’m finished with you, the Wall of Shame is the ONLY place you’ll be famous.”
Veronica growled low in the back of her pinched throat. “Yuuuuhhhh…. you’re gonna wish you’d stayed hidden behind your keyboard, DaisNNNNNGGGHHHH!”
Lyssa pie-faced her hard enough to bloody the blonde’s lower lip, then got up, stamped down on her chest and raised both arms high overhead to make sure the other photogs all had several promising angles to chronicle tonight’s victory.
Jeers claimed sole ownership of the FAWN Arena for a few seconds before they were soon joined by ‘Criticize‘.
LYSSA ZAHN:
Right on cue, the curtains slid apart as a ravishing brunette strode into view and paused atop the stage to take a trio of selfies. Satisfied with her results and disgusted with the collection of malcontents and neckbeards gathered for Season’s Beatings, the Vine Vixen slipped the smart phone back into a snug elastic band on her right arm and started down the aisle.
For the latest installment of her increasingly heated rivalry with a former FAWN World Champion, Lyssa wore predominately black spandex: a two piece, the top with thin, pink shoulder straps set at a slight angle, and a pink mesh “plate” over the clavicle, rising into a collar. The bottom rim of this piece and the neckline of the bikini top worked to create almost a heart-shaped “cleavage window.” Matching bottoms (with pink trim), pink wristbands and pads, and black boots completed the look.
Zahn made her way to the ring with a knowing smirk, basking as much in the derisive jeers as the whistles and looks of appreciation. As the saying went, the worst thing in wrestling was to be ignored, and one thing was certain: wherever the venue, the music of Lyssa Zahn was impossible to ignore. The brunette climbed the steps, slipped through the ropes and nearly skipped to her corner. Settling in against the buckles, Lyssa produced her phone once more and went to work setting up a half dozen different alerts and hashtags for everything that’d be trending by the time she finished with the washed-up blonde.
When the worst of the Lyssa-hate died down, the Announcer resumed his duties. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Bridgeport California she stands at five feet eight inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and thirty-four pounds, she is the Dangerous Dame… VERONICA TREYMANE!”
VERONICA TREYMANE:
A black & white flood swept away the Technicolor in an instant and the Treymane Gang greeted their Grayscale Goddess at the top of their lungs. Accompanied by Social Distortion’s ‘Machine Gun Blues’ the Pinstripe Powerhouse stormed through the curtain, paused atop the stage and flicked her trenchcoat aside to reveal the replica Thompson braced against one thigh. “You cost me a huge win at the Madhouse, Zahn.” Veronica said softly. “Tonight I cost you a few teeth.” Pleased at the idea, she raised the Thompson and pulled the trigger to sweep a blistering line of pyro across the aisle. Releasing the trigger only when the drum clicked empty, Veronica dropped the barking iron to her side and made quick time toward the squared circle.
For FAWN‘s last pay-per-view of 2017 the Neo-Noir Knockout wore the midnight blue version of her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt gleamed bright white, while her pads and boots matched the blue of her trunks. Her boots remained matte black, as per usual. Approaching the ring with none of her usual attention to the folks on the aisle, Treymane stomped up the steps and entered the ring without even pausing to wipe her boots on the apron.
Now Veronica always treated her fedora with a great deal of reverence when she dipped through the ropes, so Al knew trouble was at hand when the former World Champ doffed it with a single impatient flick of the wrist. Posting up between blonde and brunette because he was either the bravest or dumbest man in all of FAWN, the lanky official took a step forward and raised one hand. “Ease up, ‘Ronnie.” he said with hardly a quaver. “Match hasn’t started yet and you know I’ve gotta check you for weapons.”
Treymane took her eyes off Zahn long enough to deadpan, “You mean like this?” and raise the replica Thompson.
“Your cap gun doesn’t scare me, asshole.” Lyssa called from the corner, her tone simultaneously smug and contemptuous. “Stop flirting with the nerd and say your prayers.”
“Enough, Lys!” Carpenter didn’t dare take his eyes off Veronica, what with the Dangerous Dame ticking like a time-bomb with two seconds left on the clock. “I mean it, ‘Ronnie. “Get to your corner so we can start this off right.”
Treymane sighed, then ran a disgusted hand through her hair. “Fine. I’ll go. Just take my stuff, ok?” She handed him the Thompson without waiting for an answer, then shrugged out of the coat and draped it across the zebra’s shoulder.
Relieved by the peaceful resolution, Carpenter bustled away to hand the accoutrements to a FAWN tech, only to curse himself an imbecile when Treymane raced down the open lane and THAWHUMPED Zahn against the buckles with a full body Avalanche Splash!
The crowd didn’t mind of course, in fact they got all the louder as Veronica snatched a massive tangle of dark hair and unleashed on her tormentor’s forehead with a flurry of straight right hands! Caught flatfooted by the duplicitous bytch, Zahn covered up behind a hasty guard, but Treymane wrenched it apart and CRAAACKED her across the mouth with a forehand Bytch Slap before mounting the second rope. Controlling the other woman’s noggin with a double handful of hair, Veronica very deliberately twisted Lyssa’s head to one side, thereby forcing the Social Media Superstar’s stinging mug against the vengeful plank of her tummy. Zahn snarled in anger and pain, raked at the blonde‘s flanks, then dug her talons into Treymane’s glutes when she remained trapped in the corner.
The Pinstripe Powerhouse didn’t bat an eye. Instead she cupped one hand under Lyssa’s chin and wrenched her head up to force some unwanted eye contact. “I’m going to beat you into a stupor tonight, Daisy.” A clamor from her six told Treymane that Al was on his way over, so Veronica curled her other hand into a fist and punched as hard and fast as she could while the Season’s Beatings crowd did their best to keep up. ‘ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEV--’
Al wedged an arm between them, hooked Treymane around the waist and yanked her from the corner, much to the disgust of those in attendance. “That was CHEAP, Veronica!” he barked at the furious blonde. “Manipulation like that is her game, not yours! So knock it the hell off!”
“So you’d rather I just shoved you aside?” she countered. “I can do that too, Al.”
“What I want is for you to back off so I don’t have to WHOOOAAH!”
Zahn came off the buckles in a blur, yet somehow Treymane reacted fast enough to get Carpenter out of the way. Rebuking Lyssa’s attempted sneak attack with a rude shoulder to the sternum, the Neo-Noir Knockout laid claim to her foe’s wrist and bodied her back against the ropes. “Bell still hasn’t sounded, Daisy.” she hissed. “Wonder how much damage I can dish out before it does.”
Eager to find out, she stepped back and jerked the Tweeting Tyrant off the ropes with an Irish Whip. But rather than let Zahn free to continue on her way, ‘Ronnie dug in her heels and yanked the brunette back the way she came. The trip proved short and painful as Treymane stepped forward and pistoned her right knee up into the side of Lyssa’s skull. Zahn went down like a felled tree, the Black Hat landing flat on her face much to the delight of everyone not named Algernon Carpenter.
IRISH WHIP KNEELIFT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTzPdNjm8VM
“I swear to god, ‘Ronnie.” the ref muttered. “One more cheap shot and I’ll throw this shyt show out and take whatever heat comes my way. Is that really what you want?”
“I want you to ring the goddamned bell and then step aside.” she growled.
“Then step BACK.” Al ordered. “I need to make sure she’s even fit to continue.”
“Whaaa… what kind of dumbshyt question is that?” the Insta-gator grunted as she fought to verticality. “It’s gonna take more than one halfhearted cheap shot to keep me down.” she paused, taunting her blonde with a devilish smile. “I’m not Rachel, after all.”
“You gutless CUNT!” Treymane surged forward and dipped low to get beneath Al’s outstretched hands. This proved a dangerous decision, not just in testing the official’s resolve, but because it meant her head was at just the right level for Zahn to intercept with a THWHONKING Kneelift! The Pinstripe Powerhouse started to crumple, got interrupted by Lyssa, who propped her up in a snug Front Facelock. Snatching a handful of trunks for extra leverage, Zahn kicked one leg forward and laid out on her back to spike the crown of her skull into the mat courtesy a Snap DDT.
SNAP DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l7vq62Znl0
Delighted by the low thrum that ran through the canvas-sheathed plywood, Lyssa rolled to one knee and would’ve buried a hand in the blonde’s hair if Carpenter hadn’t reached out and grabbed her wrist. “One warning, Lyssa. If you do anything other than take a selfie in the next ten seconds, I’ll fine you for so much your next post will come from a flip phone.”
Zahn’s dark eyes narrowed to slots for a moment, then she shook her head and rose to her full height. “I can respect that, Carpenter. Go check on the little bytch. Make sure she didn’t smuggle in anything in those ugly trunks. Then ring the bell and step the f*ck aside.”
He extended a warning hand to the Black Hat. “I mean it, Lyssa.” Zahn stepped back, pulled her phone from its wide elastic band and tapped a few buttons.
“So do I. Now do your job so I can improve your score on Rate-A-Ref.”
Al hesitated, but ultimately turned his back when he saw Lyssa’s attention was elsewhere. Crouching over Treymane, who’d made it to all fours in the wake of the skull-jarring drop, he said, “You good to go, ‘Ronnie? I’m about to ring the bell.”
Treymane nodded, stifled a groan as she clambered to boot-leather. “Should’ve rang it three minutes ago Shamus.” She shooed him aside and refocused on Lyssa. “Put the phone down, Daisy. It’s time to--” the CLANG of the bell interrupted her, as did Zahn’s flat out charge! Throwing a leg back to brace herself against the “UUUNNGGH!”
Lyssa slammed a shoulder into her belly and Treymane did double over, but her makeshift kickstand slowed the brunette’s encroachment long enough for ‘Ronnie to wrap her arms around opposing waist. Undeterred by the Bear Hug squeeze, the Social Media Superstar hooked her fingers into the former champion’s briefs and--”NNNGGGHH!” Treymane ended the wedgie before it began with an overhead Forearm Smash that THWHAPPED across her rival’s lower back like a tire iron wrapped in velvet. “Don’t even think about it, Daisy.” the Dangerous Dame warned. “Pulling my ‘stripes is a good way to get an up close and personal WHOOOANNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Lyssa swept Treymane’s feet out from under her with a Double Leg Takedown and immediately tacked on a Kneedrop between the other woman’s thighs. “God, I love it when they talk tuff!” Zahn sighed after throwing her foe’s stems aside. “Makes for the perfect jump cut. First tuff talk, then BAM, her face is buried under my ass!”
“Ease off the trunk work, Lyssa.” Al said from a short distance away. “You don’t need that cheap crap to win.”
The Pintrest Pin-Up flashed him an irritated look. “Of course I don’t NEED to, Carpenter. It doesn’t take a MENSA member to see I’m better in every way. But making this arrogant hipster queen shriek for mercy is just so much fun!”
Veronica had other notions of course, yet she chose to keep them to herself while she rolled to her stomach and struggled to all fours. She’d hoped a bit of silence and Zahn’s own ego would keep the brunette preoccupied, alas Lyssa honed in on her at once and made the Dangerous Dame pay with a quick Double Axehandle to the nape of the neck. Set on one knee off the blonde’s left side, Zahn took possession of Treymane’s wrist and stretched it out so that her forearm was pressed firm against the Black Hat’s posted thigh. Bracing her other hand against ‘Ronnie’s exposed bicep, Lyssa got up on her toes and pushed down, using the increased leverage to force her rival’s face and chest against the canvas.
“Think you’re gonna wriggle away without me noticing?” Zahn folded Treymane’s left hand up between her shoulders in a Hammerlock, then wedged her right knee against the trapped limb to keep it place without occupying either hand. “Not gonna be that easy tonight, bytch.” To illustrate she put one hand on the blonde’s right shoulder and the other on her right hip, keeping ‘Ronnie nice & snug against the mat while she raised her left foot and scuffed it across Treymane’s face once, twice, three times!
HAMMERLOCK FACE WASHING:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVAHXc63oi8
Veronica didn’t take it lying down (figuratively, at least), she worked against the Hammerlock and Face Washing as best she could, but her position was awful and it only got worse when Lyssa secured a grip on her right wrist and craaaaaaaaaaaaanked the whole arm up and back at a painful angle. “Careful not to cringe at the ungodly strain put on Treymane’s shoulder and right arm, Al closed in on the action and asked, “What do you say, Veronica? Need me to call for the--”
“Boring!” Lyssa looked up from her efforts to touch Treymane’s fingertips to her forearm to let the official know she wasn’t amused. “Shyt Carpenter, I wasted precious ass-kicking time to update your score at Rate-A-Ref and how do you repay me? With dumb-shyt questions! Of COURSE she wants to give up, but she’s not going to do it just yet. So here’s a much more interesting inquiry. Should I pass the time by yanking ’Ronnie’s overrated tits right out of this Party City top of hers? Or should I bite her fingers off one knuckle at a time?”
Furious over the demeaning pose, Veronica squirmed and smacked a boot against the mat, but still couldn’t free herself from the Hammerlock or the Armbar. Teeth bared in obvious frustration, the Neo-Noir Knockout growled, “I can’t believe you’re so good at trash talk in person, Daisy. Usually your best work comes from behind the safety of a keyboaRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!”
Zahn leaned forward and chomped down on Veronica’s fingers, the brunette’s threat to make them an evening snack apparently quite real.
“Break the hold, Lyssa!” Al ordered after an internal five count. She only smirked around those locally sourced ladyfingers, so the ref offered a much more emphatic count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!” Lyssa spat them out with a little flourish, sprang to verticality and raised both arms in a jaunty ‘V’ while planting one foot on the side of Veronica’s vulnerable skull.
“I WANNA BE TAGGED IN ALL THOSE PHOTOS, PEOPLE!” the Social Media Superstar roared into the sea of camera phones. “HASHTAG ‘HELPLESS DAME! HASHTAG ‘KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!’ HASHTAG ‘WHOOPIN’ THAT ASS!’”
Another half a dozen hashtags might’ve followed if Treymane hadn’t swatted the intruding boot aside and thus regained the Tweeting Tyrant’s ire. “Oh, do you still think this is an actual match, honey?” Zahn plunged a hand into Veronica’s hair and hauled her off the mat. “It’s not. This is my coronation, it’s just disguised as a fighNNNNNNGGHHHH!”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse caught her with a quick Forearm Smash to the cheek, then snagged a double handful of hair and jerked Lyssa down into a Kneelift that THWHONKED against one temple. Staggered by the unexpected shots, Zahn stumbled in a couple fencepost holes en route to crumpling to one knee several feet removed from the former World Champion.
“Coronation my ass.” Treymane growled as she drew a bead on the side of her brunette’s skull. “This is a mugging, pure and simple.” Lyssa started to rise, so Veronica backed up a step just to ensure she had enough space to build up a good head of steam when she charged the Insta-Gator and-- groans of disappointment from those assembled when Lyssa drew back at just the right time to avoid a potentially match-ending strike. Worse yet for the Treymane Gang, the brunette hooked an arm around their heroine’s waist and hoisted her into the air like she was nothing more than a sack of laundry. Using her other arm to keep the Dame’s legs bundled tight, Lyssa spun through two whole rotations before she dropped to her knees and THWHUMPED ‘Ronnie down on her back as the victim of a Spinning Kneel Out Sidewalk Slam! Treymane wound up stretched out flat, so Zahn draped over her chest in a Crossbody and hooked the far leg for…
SPINNING KNEEL-OUT SIDEWALK SLAM:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgfhpHw_g9w
ONE…
TWO…
Veronica shoved her away with a full second to spare, much to the brunette’s disgust. On her feet in a flash, Lyssa framed her foe’s woozy countenance in a handmade rectangle, presumably to make sure she had the best angle for her next attack. Satisfied on that front, she spun on her heel and ran the ropes in front of the seated blonde and returned mere heartbeats later, the Black Hat dropping onto her knees in a high speed skid, one hand already reared back to slap the taste out of Ronnie’s mou--NO!
Veronica snatched her foe’s wrist at the last possible second and twisted to one side, using Lyssa’s own momentum to stretch the cocky brat out on her belly. Still in control of Zahn’s left arm, Treymane yanked it out to one side and deftly threaded it between her thighs. Ankles locked in the span between heartbeats, the Dangerous Dame reached over the prostrate wrestler’s torso, slid her left arm under Lyssa’s right bicep and wrenched it backward at an unpleasant angle.
“F*CK!” Lyssa kept her chin tucked and her forehead down, the struggling battler doing everything she could to keep Veronica from “AAAARRRRHHH GAAAAAAAAHHHH BYTCH!” No use, the Neo-Noir Knockout laced her hands around Zahn’s head, snugged an S-grip against the side of her face and earned the aforementioned wail by pouring her power into the Noirevoir.
NOIREVOIR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXZQRy3KpZE
“Watch your mouth, Daisy!” Veronica chided after she’d worked the hold for a good five seconds. “After all, it’d be awfully hard to keep your followers updated with two broken arms, wouldn’t it?” She bore down on all three parts of the hold to earn another pained hiss from the brunette.
“What do you say, Lyssa?” Al asked once the initial round of cursing died down. “Can you continue?”
“Of course she can.” Treymane’s voice held a hard edge the ref hadn’t heard more than once her twice in the whole of her FAWN career. “In fact she probably wants you get out of the way so everyone can see how tough she looks when she’s crawling to the ropes…. or maybe she’s going to tap out right now. Is that it, Lyssa?” The Gorgeous Gangster shifted her grip so she could treat Zahn’s cheek to a condescending pat. “What’s it gonna be, Daisy? Are you an inspiring GIF or a quitter meme?” Interested to learn the answer, Veronica fell silent and set out to yank her prey’s shoulders out of socket.
Back wrenched at an ungodly by the agonizing stretch, Zahn kept her eyes closed tight as she growled, “You’re the only quitter in this ring, bytch. Sammain proved that when she exposed your overrated ass at All Hallows EviLLEEEERRRRHH!”
Veronica doubled down on her grip, the force of it actually twisting Lyssa from her belly to the point of one hip. This did nothing for the firestorm in her shoulders but the pressure on her lower back slackened considerably. Opening her eyes confirmed the ropes were exactly where they’d been the last time she checked, only now the Black Hat knew they weren’t out of reach. Above her, Treymane tightened her hooks and taunted, “You want to talk about exposed, Daisy? I’m not the one that’s been sitting here for thirty seconds wailing like a brat with a skinned knee.”
“Oh bytch, I am gonna BREAK that attitude.” Zahn huffed. “Just as soon as I break this shytty--” Rather than finish her sentence the Social Media Superstar pushed back into Veronica’s clutches and bicycled her legs until… Lyssa made it to a slumped seat, effectively transforming the Noirevoir into a modified Crucifix. Of course the torque against her shoulders and neck was still remarkably unpleasant, but the new arrangement allowed her to set her heels against the mat and draaaaaaaaaaag the both of them across the mat toward sanctuary.
Aware that she’d have to abandon the hold sooner than later, ‘Ronnie resolved to make the brunette work for every inch of canvas. To that end she ground her knuckles back n’ forth against the side of Zahn’s face and purred, “What’s the matter, Lys? Too much time on Instagram and not enough time working submission drills?” She leaned in, wedged the point of her chin into the hollow of her foe’s shoulder so she could murmur in her ear. “And here I thought you might be a threat. Turns out you’re nothing more than an extremely aggressive troll.”
The pressure on her neck made it impossible for the brunette to shake her head in disgust, yet another slight that’d need avenging before the night was over. “Get your licks in now, candy-ass.” she threatened. “Because the next time we lock up I am going to SCHOOL you in the fine art of submitting a byOOOOWWWW F*CKER!”
Treymane bit the lobe of Zahn’s ear, a stroke of pure cattiness she indulged until Al swatted her shoulder and barked, “Knock it off, Veronica.”
She pulled away without complaint, then planted a quick kiss on Lyssa’s cheek. “Look how quickly he jumped in to protect you! Maybe you need to bump up that rating ag--”
The Tweeting Tyrant slid forward one more time and managed to lock her ankles around the bottom rope. “Break the hold you piece of shyt.” Lyssa panted. “Break it or I’ll HEY! NO! NO DAMMIT, I MADE THE ROPES!” That was true enough, however Treymane wasn’t quite finished with the Pintrest Pin-Up so she relinquished the Scissors and the S-grip to take control of Zahn’s arms with a simple Double Chickenwing. A single hard jerk on those weakened arms allowed the former champ to wrench her opponent away from safety and back to the canvas wasteland of center ring. “You cheap skank.” Lyssa snarled amidst trying to drive a heel into Treymane’s boots. “You’re gonna be the sorriest bytch on-line when I get done with WHOOAANNNNGGGGHHH!”
Veronica sank into a deep crouch, popped her hips and arched backward in a beautiful bridge that THWHUMPED Zahn down flush on the back of her head and shoulders. Folded in half by the textbook Tiger Suplex, Lyssa struggled and fought while Carpenter counted…
TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U0QTnWKwbA
ONE…
TWO…
Zahn kicked loose and flopped onto her side, the black-clad battler drawing her throbbing arms tight to her chest. Veronica allowed herself a moment to catch her breath, though the astute observer noted she never took her eyes off Lyssa and those injured arms in particular. “Get up, Daisy.” The Pinstripe Powerhouse took possession of Zahn’s left wrist and gave it a hard yank. “C’mon, it’s time you made me the sorriest bytch on-line. That’s your plan, isn’t it?”
Lyssa didn’t answer, she was still woozy from the Suplex and understandably preoccupied trying to free her arm from Treymane’s grasp. No luck there though, she had no choice but to follow orders as ‘Ronnie used the simple joint-lock to make her clamber to verticality. Quiet now that there was work to be done, Veronica folded Lyssa’s captured arm behind her back in a Hammerlock, then dipped under her prey’s right arm to sidle in beside her while still maintaining control over the left wrist. Sensing trouble, Zahn buried her free hand in Treymane’s long locks and punished her with a hard yank. “Let go of me, sweetie.” the Black Hat demanded. “Unless you want to eat your extensSSSNNNNNGGGHHH!” The Neo-Noir Knockout angled her left leg over Lyssa’s right, leaned forward and snapped back with all her weight to THWHUMP Zahn against the deck courtesy of a Hammerlock Russian Leg Sweep.
HAMMERLOCK RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y1Q7h1-ZBI
Lyssa sat up at once, that tormented left arm held against her midsection like she worried it might fall off if given too much space. “You really think you’re in position to threaten me right now, Daisy?” Treymane questioned as she used a combination chin grip and hair pull to scrape Zahn off the canvas. “Or maybe you’re still talking because in the end threats is all you haveERRRHHH!”
The TweetStormTrooper went back to the hair-pull, fully intended to liberate a patch of the blonde’s scalp. “Did it feel like a threat when I put your punk-ass sister on the shelf, ‘Ronnie? Because the blood on my knuckles felt pretty f*cking ERRRRRHHH SHYT!”
Although a retaliatory hair-pull would have been fine, Treymane chose an even rougher approach and raaaaaaaaaaaked her fingers across the brunette’s eyes! Lyssa yowled and Al barked a warning, but Veronica ignored both to clamp down on Zahn’s left wrist. A quick Irish Whip sent Lyssa toward the ropes, though she only got to arm’s length before the Dangerous Dame reeled her back into another shoulder-shredding Hammerlock. To make matters worse, Veronica cinched her left arm around Zahn’s neck and bent her backward in an Inverted Facelock while maintaining the Hammerlock with her right hand. “Oh Daisy, I’m gonna tear you out by the roots and stomp you into the sidewalk.” From there she pushed onto her toes and dropped to her butt to THAWHAM Lyssa down with a Reverse DDT that deposited the brunette’s full bodyweight atop her pinioned arm. Zahn shrieked, rolled onto her side and was tugged back to her back so Treymane could stretch across her chest and hook the far leg for…
HAMMERLOCK INVERTED DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzbLsMIILlI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Insta-Gator shoved ‘Ronnie away and rolled to her stomach, Lyssa desperate to keep her shoulders and arms safe for even a few precious seconds.
“That’s right, bytch. Cover up and cringe.”
“F*ck off slut.” Zahn hissed through clenched teeth. “You’re gonna EEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHH STAAAAAHHP!”
Veronica yanked the brunette’s phone out of its elastic sleeve, pressed the narrow end against Lyssa’s temple and grrrrrrrrooooound it back n’ forth.
“Hey! Cut it out, Veronica! Give me the damned phone!”
Treymane pressed down and kept working her wrist, trying to force the gadget straight through Zahn’s skull. “You want it, Al? I’ll need to hear a count.”
Al obliged quickly enough and when he hit ‘FOUR!’ she tossed it to him without so much as a word. “Feel naked without your phone, tramp?” Veronica paintbrushed the brunette’s cheeks with a flurry of taunting slaps as she got to her feet. “You’ll feel even worse after this match is over.”
Zahn hunkered down behind a rough guard, then lashed out with a blind slap that grazed Treymane’s thigh. “Tough talk, bytch.” she growled. “Everyone in the locker room knows you’re a terminal goody two-NNNNNNGGGHH!”
‘Ronnie stamped on the Black Hat’s belly, making a point to drive her heel into the sweet spot just below the navel. “You have no idea who you’re screwing with, Daisy.” the Gorgeous Gangster sneered at her gaping opposition. “No idea at all. But I promise you will.” A quick glance around told her that Al was maintaining safe distance, so she walked a wide circle around the beleaguered Black Hat en route to the corner directly behind Zahn. The crowd roared all the louder as Treymane settled in against the buckles and though she wanted to acknowledge their support she was loathe to do anything that might give Lyssa a hint about the bolt of Chicago Lightning with her name on it.
And so Zahn remained blissfully ignorant of the danger, the Vine Vixen instead focused solely on subduing her existing aches and mustering the reserves to haul herself off the mat. It took ‘til ‘SEVEN!’ on Carpenter’s count but Lyssa did just that, even if in rising she did it with her back to the looming blonde. Realization dawned just as Treymane charged, Zahn taking a knee even as she whirled around and THWHUMP!
Roars of outrage and moans of sympathetic anguish from the capacity crowd when the Social Media Superstar drove a short, savage Uppercut into her opponent’s crotch!
Froze in her tracks by tawdry strike, a knock-kneed Treymane doubled over in anguish, both hands wedged between her thighs. The look on her face was so priceless Lyssa just HAD to have it for her collection, so you can imagine her disgust and outrage when she reached for the elastic sleeve and discovered it empty. “I’ve got your phone, Lyssa.” Al said with a disapproving cluck. “You can have it back when the match is over.”
Zahn refrained from knocking the zebra’s face sideways by standing up and wedging the wobbly bytch’s head between her thighs. “What the hell is this, Carpenter? Sixth grade?”
The official patted the outline of the gadget tucked into the front pocket of his striped shirt. “I’m sure Ms. Krabappel didn’t let you have phones in class.”
Lyssa started to respond, only to hold off long enough to THWHAP several stiff Forearm Smashes into the protesting curve of Treymane’s back. Then she cinched her arms around Veronica’s waist and squeezed hard enough to make the blonde wheeze. Finally returning her attention to the zebra, she snorted, “Her name was Mrs. Morris, and she wasn’t half the bytch you are, Al.”
Wasn’t much to say after that, so Carpenter kept his mouth shut while Lyssa muscled the Dangerous Dame onto her shoulders, posed her for a moment, then dropped down in a splay-legged ‘V’ to THAWHAM Treymane against the canvas courtesy a Sit-Out Powerbomb. Certain she’d finished the Pinstripe Poseur with this latest GIF-worthy offense, Zahn hooked her calves over Veronica’s biceps and leaned into those upturned haunches for a count of…
SIT-OUT POWERBOMB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBEWXOmddoI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Modern Day Moll proved resilient, wresting free of her foe’s clutches with half a second to spare.
Lyssa gave Carpenter a withering look, but saved the brunt of her wrath for ‘Ronnie, who she punished with a still slap to the ribs. “I gotta know, do you really think I just picked your name off the website and said ‘yeah, I’m gonna wreck this chick’s shyt today?’” Zahn asked once she’d hauled the former champ to her feet with a double handful of shoulder straps. “I got news for you honey, this was a meticulously researched campaign! I watched every bit of footage in Allard’s archive before Leah and I punked your big sister.” She punctuated with a quick Headbutt between the eyes, then slipped an arm between Treymane’s stems and slung the other over one shoulder, all the better to muscle her up across her chest. “EVERYTHING I’ve done was designed with the sole intention of pissing you off. This for instance…”
The Tweeting Tyrant patted Veronica’s defenseless glutes which was bad enough, it was the single sharp pinch that made it nigh intolerable. “Yeah, growl and hiss all you want, loser. Your ass belongs to me now.” And indeed Zahn’s actions proved her a stern custodian, as Treymane and the FAWNatics both learned when she reached the corner and deposited her prey face-up across the top ropes on a sharp diagonal. The former champ didn’t need to Facebook stalk Lyssa to know what came next, she’d spent plenty of afternoons in the archive researching both Black Hats in preparation for this match. Trying to sit up with nothing but the rubber-coated steel for support proved a challenging task, yet Treymane gave it her all and might have succeeded if Zahn hadn’t scored her face with three quick slashes!
Al barked a warning but he might as well have been on MySpace for all the attention Lyssa paid him. Mounting up on the bottom rope for a better vantage point, Zahn cupped her left hand over ‘Ronnie’s chin and pushed down hard. “Like I said, I researched the f*ck out of you coming into this project.” she cooed to the defenseless blonde. “And ya know what I learned? You crumble under pressure, Daisy.” Treymane uttered a muffled curse, reached for Zahn’s throat and paid the price in the form of a heavy overhand Forearm Smash administered directly across the tits. One was enough to knock the wind out of her, alas Lyssa was in the mood for a Zahnlyphone solo and she PAK-PAK-PAK-PAAAK’ed away at her rival’s torso and tummy until a ‘FOUR’ from Al cleared her away from the corner with both arms raised overhead.
“What are you doing? Do you want to take a picture of her?” Zahn sniffed when the ref moved in to check on his charge. “Look, you don’t know anything about lighting and filters, just give me my phone and I’ll--”
Carpenter rounded on her, the lanky official looking uncharacteristically stern. “One more word about your phone and I’ll give it to Cassandra to feed through her wood chipper.”
Lyssa recoiled in horror. “Vale has a wood chipper? Of course she does. You know what, it doesn’t matter, just--”
The TweetStormTrooper rushed the corner, forcing Al to dip aside, lest he eat the Double Axehandle Zahn THWHUMPED into her rival’s navel. ‘Ronnie ‘Unnnnggghhhed’ and sagged on the springy perch but she didn’t fall, so the brunette grabbed her at shoulder and hip and turned her over to face the apron. Clearing off before she could lament all the shots she was missing, Zahn dropped into a backward somersault that brought her up near center ring. It also gave her more than enough room to break into a flat out sprint, thus making the knee she DRILLED into Veronica’s abdomen that much more painful.
“Oh, did that impress you?” Lyssa swatted a nonsense pattern on Treymane’s churning glutes as she taunted the FAWNatics. “Well I hope all your data plans have unlimited storage. Because you’re gonna want HD video of what comes next.” Crouching slightly, the Vine Vixen got her shoulders under Veronica’s brutalized midsection and hoisted her out of the ropes with a simple Fireman’s Carry. Desperate to find a way out of this blind alley, the Dangerous Dame managed a single awkward elbow to the side of Zahn’s noggin, alas it only motivated the brunette to put a little more ‘oomph’ on her rapid descent to the mat, Lyssa just crushing the air from her blonde’s lungs with a Samoan Drop.
Lyssa almost hooked a leg, then dismissed the notion. There was still vengeance to be had and she wanted, no, she NEEDED the world to see her dispose of this overrated marketing ploy. Positioned between the corner and her breathless adversary, Zahn glanced back and forth to gauge the distance before walking over Veronica (or rather, on, as she purposely jammed one boot in the blonde’s belly) so she could lay claim to ankle and wrist and draaaaaaag the gut-shot Gun Moll closer to the center. Lyssa tossed those captured limbs aside once she had her target lined up and quickly made her way back to the corner (once again making a point to apply boot to Treymane’s belly) and quickly ascended to the high rent district.
“C’mon Carpenter, you gotta take a picture of this!” Zahn called to the official even as her shadow hung over the blonde’s defenseless midsection.
Al removed her phone from his pocket and said, “Sure. What’s your password?”
Lyssa opened her mouth to reply, then snapped it shut. “Nice try, asshole.”
Denied what should’ve been a great action shot, the Vine Vixen took her anger out on ‘Ronnie with a gorgeous leap into the aether. Touching her toes at the apex, Zahn stretched out full length and brought every bit of her hundred and thirty pounds THAWHAMMING down atop Treymane’s chest in a flawless Frog Splash! Left gaping and breathless in the aftermath, Veronica turned onto her side, but Zahn caught her at shoulder and hip and tugged her right back to start. To make matters worse, the Black Hat slung a leg across her victim’s torso, took a heavy seat on her chest and hooked both legs in a tight bundle. Al was already swooping in to count, not that it stopped Lyssa from leaaaaaaaaaaaning back until she’d folded the blonde in half. Elsewhere, several thousand FAWNatics joined Al in tolling…
10/10 FROG SPLASH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_RiYwZByko
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Dangerous Dame fought loose with a half second to spare, much to the delight of the capacity crowd and the disgust of Lyssa Zahn. Twining her fingers in the former champ’s hair without so much as a word, Zahn dragged Treymane to her feet, threaded an arm through her legs and scooped her up onto the point of one shoulder. From there she stomped to the middle of the ring, rose onto tiptoe and THWHUMPED Veronica to the deck with a big Body Slam.
“Some troll stole my phone!” the brunette shouted to anyone who would listen. “So I want you people to catch this from every angle! You hear me? EVERY ANGLE!”
Those proud members of the Treymane Gang answered with nothing but scorn, however there were enough cheers mixed in with the vitriol to put a smile on Zahn’s face as she spun around and bounced off the ropes to her blonde’s left. ’Ronnie was vaguely aware of the incoming threat, alas she didn’t have the energy to roll clear before Lyssa went airborne and came down ass-first on her chest with the first of four Zahn Bombs! Treymane’s legs flopped into the air, not that the Tweeting Tyrant paid them any mind. She’d already popped to her feet, peeled off a quick turn and ran the ropes directly south of her target.
“UUUUNNNNNGGGHHH!” Veronica took the second Zahn Bomb full force but at least made an effort to push her attacker off. Unfortunately the defiance only angered Lyssa, who snatched a single handful of hair and BWUNKED the base of her opponent’s skull against the mat.
“Stay down, tramp.” Lyssa snapped when she was back on her feet. “This GIF-set’s only half done.” Already thinking about how she’d cut the different angles together, the black-clad brunette turned around, bounced off the ropes and came back THAWHACK! A whole arena roared in surprised delight when Treymane exploded off the canvas, whirled through a full rotation and came out the other side with a Lariat that caught Lyssa flush across the chest! Turned inside out by the monstrous blow, Zahn landed flat on her face and offered no resistance when a weary Veronica shot the Half Nelson and rolled her over for the…
DISCUS LARIAT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIFmR7PTAfs
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Lyssa proved herself far more resilient that the average internet troll by inching a shoulder off the mat at the last possible second. Apparently unconcerned with her opponent’s escape, Treymane snatched Zahn by the ears and hauled her to boot leather. Anyone expecting some sort of snappy verbal barb from the Neo-Noir Knockout was left wanting as ‘Ronnie simply unleashed with a Forearm Smash and a left handed Bytch Slap almost simultaneously. This was followed by a snappy kick to the brunette’s left thigh and a whistling right handed Backfist that CRAAACKED against Zahn’s right ear.
Now ‘Ronnie usually finished the Drive By Night with a Discus Lariat but since she’d so recently turned Lyssa’s head with such a maneuver, she changed things up by snatching a double handful of hair and jerking the Vine Vixen’s noggin down into a high THONKING Kneelift that rocked Zahn back on her heels. Steadying the other woman’s footing with a rough grip on her hair, Veronica flattened her other hand into a paddle and slapped Lyssa across the mouth! Zahn’s face snapped sideways, then she was pulled down and in, Treymane corralling her with a Front Facelock. Slinging Lyssa’s near arm across her shoulders, the Pinstripe Powerhouse snatched hold of her foe’s waistband and used it to haul the Black Hat directly overhead. Though she was bound and determined to make Lyssa Zahn into a smear on the canvas, Treymane held her in place for a good five seconds, the blonde reminding the fans, her rival and every other woman in that locker room why she was considered a standard-bearer among FAWN’s new generation. Once she’d proved her point Veronica bent her knees and tossed Lyssa out and forward, the Pintrest Pin-Up dropped into a long freefall made all the more emphatic when Treymane caught her around the hips and dropped to her tush to THAWHAM her brunette into the deck courtesy a ridiculous Powerbomb. As impressed with the Pinstripe Crush as the rest of the crowd, Carpenter forced his inner fan-boy down long enough to count the…
PINSTRIPE CRUSH @ 00:44
www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5pUKCSpP8g
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Zahn slopped onto her belly with less than a whisper to spare, the previously domineering battler looking as shopworn and used up as the first time she’d crossed paths with the Neo-Noir Knockout. Beside her, Veronica Treymane raked a hand through her hair as she regarded her wounded opposition. “I should make you scream for mercy.” she rasped. “But I’m goddamned sick of your mouth, Daisy.” Zahn had nothing to say to that, which made it all the more satisfying when the former World Champ peeled her off the mat and stuffed her head under one arm. Finally breaking into a grin as the crowd cheered for the Double Underhook, Veronica clasped her hands and called, “TIME TO CUT SOME DAISWHOOOAAAANNNNNNGGGHHHH!”
For all her Twitter jargon and Snap Chat savvy, Lyssa Zahn was an incredibly astute student of wrestling, as she proved when she abruptly plowed into her blonde and drove the both of them into the far corner with a heavy THWHUMP! The control on her arms vanished in the collision, yet Lyssa made no attempt to seek separation. Rather she clamped down on the middle rope with both hands and hurled herself into Treymane’s midsection with no less than half a dozen Shoulderblo--
“EEERRRRRRGGGHHHH!” Veronica intercepted the last shot with a harsh Kneelift to the dome, then slapped on a Front Facelock and went to town on her brunette’s upper back with a series of overhand Forearm Smashes that echoed like rife shots.
Momentarily flummoxed by the ferocity these two mustered after enduring such heavy punishment, Al shook it off and waded into the fracas. “All right ladies break it up, break it up right now! ‘Ronnie, let go of Lyssa’s head, Lyssa let go of those ropes and straighten up!” The message got through after about three repetitions and blonde and brunette did indeed stop brawling, but their nose to nose staredown wasn’t doing anything for Carpenter’s blood pressure. “Easy now.” Al coaxed as he *carefully* slipped an arm between his charges. “Now I want both of you to raise your hands and when that’s done Lyssa can take a few steps back.”
They complied in slow motion, each woman looking for the slightest reason to resume the hard-hearted brawling. But their détente held, even when both sets of hands were just above shoulder level and almost twitching to get at the hair or face of her adversary. “Count yourself lucky, Daisy.” Treymane growled. “That’s the last time you’re gonna have someone around to pull me--” Zahn pressed in against the encroaching official to spit in the blonde’s face! There wasn’t even time for a ‘you done f*cked up now’ moment of silence, the Neo-Noir Knockout simply swatted Al aside and filled both hands with Zahn’s dark locks.
Lyssa’s world exploded in anguish and she knew damned well that Treymane could scalp her in a heartbeat, yet she endured the hurt just long enough to jab a thumb into her attacker’s left eye!
Veronica shrieked and immediately abandoned the hair pull to tend to her blurred vision, which Lyssa allowed since it made it that much easier to reel the former World Champion into a stiff Front Facelock. Al sputtered nonsensical outrage over one affront or another, not that Zahn acknowledged him with anything more than a smile as she dragged the blinded blonde out to the center of the ring. “Gotcha now, bytch.” the Black Hat declared once she’d tossed ‘Ronnie’s near arm across her shoulders. “Can’t wait to see what sort of headline Gladiatrix runs next to this Clickbait.”
Treymane’s answer was a weak slap to the brunette’s midsection, hardly enough to keep Zahn from muscling her off the deck and all the way to one o’clock. Rather than continue on to high noon, Lyssa broke her grip on Veronica’s waistband, then twisted in a half circle and caught her prey’s noggin in both hands. It was loose as far as Three Quarter Facelocks went, unfortunately for the Treymane Gang it was still sturdy enough to THWHUNK their heroine’s face into the thinly-sheathed plywood. Stretched out flat on her face after taking that poisoned Clickbait, Veronica offered no resistance when Lyssa shot the Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back to secure the far leg for…
CLICKBAIT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejWU6DgHreA
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Incredulity all around as Treymane twitched a shoulder off the mat with no more than a whisper between herself and defeat. Six months ago Zahn would’ve sprang to boot leather and kicked Carpenter’s junk up between his shoulders. But Leah had spent long hours teaching the Vine Vixen to focus the blaze of her ire into a single white-hot flame and that’s what she did now. Treating ’Ronnie to a bit of the hair pulling that’d almost snatched her bald a moment prior, Zahn got to her feet and forced the blonde to do the same. Without so much as a word she dipped her right shoulder, slipped that arm between Treymane’s thighs and boosted her up n’ across in a Fireman’s Carry. Not bothering to keep the triumphant smirk off her face, Lyssa swung around to face the hard camera and said, “Welcome to the Wall of Shame, beeyotch.” She bent her knees and shoved Veronica’s legs high into the air, then twisted into the descending blonde so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Treymane down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8J2HF5BL3U
Driven to Insta-infamy by the power of Zahn’s ‘Meme Generator’, ‘Ronnie looked like nothing more than a pinstriped tackling dummy when the Tweeting Tyrant threw a leg across her torso to plant tush on fluttering tummy. From there she reached forward, hooked Treymane’s right leg behind the knee and leaned aaaaaaaaaalllllll the way back, just folding her rival in half for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
The bell CLANGED, Lyssa slung that defeated limbs aside and sprang to verticality as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
Carpenter stepped in to raise her hand only to stop shy when the Black Hat snapped her fingers. “Algernon! My phone. Now!”
Al made a face, but he’d made a promise so he pulled the gadget from his pocket and tossed it to Lyssa. Hooked into her Instagram account so fast it was scary, Lyssa took a few quick shots to check lighting and angles and was pleased with how they came out. “All right, we’re good to go.” she murmured before she went live. “All right all you trolls, troglodytes, attention whores and neck beards, it is I, your triumphant goddess, Lyssa Zahn back with another installment of your favorite not so guilty pleasure, The Wall of Shame!” She held the phone at arm’s length and turned in a circle, letting her followers bask in her broadcasted greatness. “Tonight we’ve got a very SPECIAL brick for the Wall, but before I introduce her, I think it only fair that I accessorize. Please hold!”
Careful to keep herself in frame, Lyssa sauntered over to the far corner of the squared circle, plucked Treymane’s fedora from the steel post and set it on her head at a jaunty angle. “Damn, I wasn’t sure if I could rock thrift store chic, but I make this look better than ‘Lexie or this hack,” she jerked a thumb at the flattened blonde, “ever could. And speaking of hacks, here’s a Life Hack that’ll let you punish a hapless skank while taking the a flawless selfie. First, extend your right arm like so…” she held the phone up and away to demonstrate, “…then cock your left arm and pull it back until your fist is almost touching your ear. Got it? Good. Next step, find an obnoxious bytch. Now, you’ll have to go out and find your own, but for sake of convenience, I’ve got one right here.”
Lyssa stepped aside to get Treymane in the shot. “Make sure your obnoxious bytch is stretched out flat. Once she is, push up on your tiptoes and lay out with all your weight…” Zahn did just that, the Vine Vixen ouging a great, gaudy Ric Flair Elbow Drop between Veronica’s breasts.
The Pinstripe Powerhouse jolted like she’d been shocked and her predicament only got worse when Lyssa scooted forward and pinned her throat under her encroaching bicep! Cheek resting on her left hand, Zahn was all smiles as she finished her lesson. “As you can see, this is a great angle to compare and contrast your glowing victory with the obnoxious bytch’s smudgy-faced humilitation. From here you can get all the shots you want AND have a comfortable perch to post from once you’re satisfied. Make sure to tag your cushion in anything you post. Mine’s name is Veronica, not that anyone will remember her in a few months. Now get out of here, losers. I’ve got shyt to do.”
Zahn ended the stream and when she was sure she had her privacy (such as it was), the brunette rolled onto her stomach and wrapped a hand around Treymane’s throat. “Don’t even THINK that this is over yet, sweet girl. This isn’t a troll job or a flame war, this is a f*cking smear campaign and by the time I’m finished with you, the Wall of Shame is the ONLY place you’ll be famous.”
Veronica growled low in the back of her pinched throat. “Yuuuuhhhh…. you’re gonna wish you’d stayed hidden behind your keyboard, DaisNNNNNGGGHHHH!”
Lyssa pie-faced her hard enough to bloody the blonde’s lower lip, then got up, stamped down on her chest and raised both arms high overhead to make sure the other photogs all had several promising angles to chronicle tonight’s victory.