Post by bigfan on Oct 31, 2016 22:29:18 GMT
Already thrumming along at a fever pitch, the Fawnamania crowd grew downright frenzied when the Announcer stepped into the spotlight and proclaimed, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Antonio Bay, California, she stands at five feet four inches tall and weighs in at one hundred twenty seven pounds. She is the Innovator of Offense, the NorCal Sensation, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds… JENNY JACOBS!"
JENNY JACOBS:
The Jacobites let loose with a thunderous roar when Cowboy Mouth rolled through the speakers. Not too long ago their heroine had stolen this show more than once, but the last two ‘Mania’s had been rough on the Innovator. Tonight though, tonight they knew she’d right the ship and do it against a woman who was quickly becoming the blonde’s biggest riv-- Jenny stormed through the curtain, bringing a fresh round of thunderous roars from her fanatical followers. As enthusiastic as the rest of the crowd, Jenny looked out over the sea of faces and shouted, “MANIA WAS STOLEN FROM ME LAST YEAR! TONIGHT I TAKE IT BACK, WITH INTEREST!” She finished up with a pair of J’s thrown to the rafters, then raced down the ramp fast enough to give Lily Burlingame a run for her money.
For this third battle against FAWN‘s snarkiest superstar, Jenny sported a jack-o-lantern orange take on her standard indigo briefs, as well as a matching halter-style top with the cups held together by a small metal buckle in the shape of a bat. Her boots and pads were an equally seasonal black and her hair still curled in a sleek golden bob that fell to just below her ears.
Skidding under the bottom rope at the same breakneck pace, Jenny popped to one knee and rose up already showing the J’s. “This is MY card, this is MY NIGHT! she told everyone within the sound of her voice. “Get out here, Maddy. Get your ass down here so we can find out just how many of those six million plus moves it’ll take to shut your mouth for good.”
The Announcer resumed his duties as soon as the Innovator’s music faded into the general din. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Glad Bomber, this is MADDY CRANE!”
MADDY CRANE:
Anyone who hadn’t cheered Jenny’s arrival (and plenty who had) let their voices be heard alongside a blat of static from the speakers that quickly segued into Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’. Maddy appeared with her music, the rambunctious redheaded Facebuster enthusiast clearly psyched to appear on FAWN’s grandest stage. Unusually quiet for such a momentous occasion, Crane took up a position at center stage so the crowd could better take in her togs, a black sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin red belts worn bandolier style while her boots and pads were done in a shiny red. A good look no question, though a bit surprising to those assembled as they looked exactly like Maddy’s usual attire. It wasn’t until she turned around that they got the joke. For emblazoned across the seat of Maddy’s togs were three names:
Bloodwind
Deschain
Crane
Holding her position long enough for the sold out crowd to get that much louder, the Sultana of Slapstick whirled around and sped toward the squared circle. None of her usual banter with the fans tonight, alas. Crane was down the aisle and up the steel steps faster than you could say, ‘So this horse walks into a bar and…’ Posted up on the apron, she grabbed the top rope in both hands and waggled her tush a few times before vaulting into the ring. Pointedly ignoring the blonde waiting for her in the far corner, Mads zeroed in on the hard camera and tipped it a wink. “This is Jenny’s moment all right. The moment she realizes I’m gonna steal this show right out from under her nose.” Promise made, the Princess of the Punchline went to her corner so the official could make a last second inspection of her pads and boots.
The bell CLANGED and both women left their corners at a near run, but where Maddy raised her hands in anticipation of a rough Collar & Elbow, Jenny took to the skies and PWAAAKED both heels into the redhead’s mouth with a huge Dropkick! Crane went down hard, the back of her head bouncing against the canvas, yet adrenaline was a powerful thing and the Sultana of Slapstick scrambled to her feet almost at on--THWHAP! Jacobs caught her with a second Dropkick, standing this time. The lack of running start did nothing to harm the efficacy, as evidenced by the way Mads hit the deck and promptly rolled out of the ring to regain her bearings.
Allowing herself a single brisk fist pump at the sight of Crane’s retreat, the Innovator claimed the center of the ring as her own and waited impatiently for the redhead to rise. Maddy obliged her after less than five seconds, but you would’ve guessed Jenny’d waited for closer to thirty by the way she whipped around and ran to the far side of the ring. Springing to their feet as Jenny raced down her own back-trail, the Jacobites (and everyone else for that matter) let loose with an echoing roar when the blonde bombshell hopped onto the second strand and launched into a high, gorgeous somersault that THWHUMPED her back into Crane’s face and chest full-force!
SPRINGBOARD TOPE CON HIL0 @ 00:58
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SyFqamV0pg
Knocked head over heels by Jenny’s aerial artistry, Maddy slumped over to one side and curled into a ball, one hand pressed snug to the back of her ringing head. Beside her, Jacobs rolled out of the crash without so much as a scratch to distract from that million dollar smile. J’s thrown high even before she reached her feet, the NorCal Sensation bellowed, “THAT’S HOW YOU START HOT, PEOPLE!”
The sigil was returned a thousand-fold, not that Jenny waited around to confirm the love. She’d already honed in on the reeling redhead, helping herself to a handful of togs and tresses. The tug that followed might’ve been the tiniest bit harder than necessary, but no one raised a complaint, Crane included. Twisting around on the spot to build up a little extra momentum, Jenny charged the apron and slung her opponent under the bottom rope in a reeling tangle of limbs.
Jenny leapt to the apron rather than slide in after the prankster, certain she’d have plenty of time to deliver a move from the high rent district or other dangerous environs. So she was slightly perturbed when Crane braced her elbows against the mat and sat up almost the instant she’d come to a stop. “Don‘t get used to the lights and the crowd, baby.” Jacobs muttered under her breath as she raced along the edge and around the corner to line up in front of the woozy grappler. “You’re not gonna be out here much longer.”
Any response Crane might’ve offered was swallowed by the thunder of the sold-out crowd, not that Jenny would’ve paid attention to her anyway. Feet set firm against the apron, Jenny grabbed the top rope in both hands and leaaaaaaaaaned back into a deep crouch. It got quite a few whistles from the first few rows, then the whistlers added their voices to the rest of the throng when Jacobs jumped onto the top rope and practically launched herself into the lights. Lifting her knees to hip level, Jacobs actually showed the Double J’s in the second before she THWHAMMED her shins into Crane’s face and chest. The Springboard Meteora rolled Mads onto her shoulders with her rump pointed straight at the rafters.
SPRINGBOARD METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRmhmofQ8Og
Nerves and gravity would’ve stretched her out sooner than later if Jenny hadn’t frozen her in place by turning around and hooking both arms over Maddy’s thighs in a makeshift Matchbook pin. Yanking back on Crane’s stems even as she leaned forward, Jacobs pressed her chest against Maddy’s upturned haunches and nodded along while Merle slapped the mat…
ONE…
TWO…
It wasn’t *quite* a near-fall, just close enough to make the ‘Mania crowd gasp when the Queen of the Facebusters bucked clear of her attacker. Jenny slapped her kneepads hard and shook her head in an ‘almost got ‘er’ sort of way. She wasn’t actually angry about the escape and she certainly didn’t want her time at ‘Mania to end that fast, but after the disappointment of the last two years she couldn’t deny the appeal of blowing Crane’s doors off. “Got a real treat for you tonight, Maddy.” JJ grabbed a double handful of red hair, then cupped her ears instead to avoid the official’s wrath. “There’s a whole highlight reel’s worth of new material just for you and all your favorite classics too! Here’s one I’m sure you’ll remember!”
Jacobs tugged Maddy forward, THWHUMPED a Kneelift into her tummy and quickly stuffed her into a Standing Headscissors when she doubled over. Somehow resisting the urge to punish Crane with a hellacious wedgie, Jenny coiled her arms around that undefended midsection and flipped Maddy up onto her shoulders for-- an unexpected twitch from the redhead freed Maddy’s legs from Jacobs’s control and dropped her into a very short fall that ended with her butt resting on the back of the blonde’s shoulders. Hooking her legs under the Innovator’s biceps before she was fully aware of her own actions, the Princess of the Punchline leaned down, slapped on her own Waistlock and just kept rolling. Her hooks and the abrupt shift in momentum flipped Jenny off her feet and PLANTED her on the back of her head and shoulders as the victim of an absurdly pretty Yoshi Tonic.
ROLLING YOSHI TONIC:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUsb50Kffps
“REMEMBER THAT, BABY!” Mads shouted it at the top of her lungs, then leaned forward and in to keep her weight on the blonde’s upturned haunches for…
ONE…
TWO…
Jacobs somersaulted out at ‘TWO!’ popped to boot-leather and immediately charged her rival for a low flying version of the Meteora! But Maddy saw it coming this time and she threw herself backward which meant the Girl of 8,675,309 Moves soared by only inches overhead. Rolling to her belly the instant she was clear, Maddy scrambled to her feet and left them as soon as Jenny started to rise. Launching from her left foot, the Glad Bomber flicked out her right leg and THWHACKED Jacobs across the side of the head with a Flying Roundhouse that knocked her flat on her back.
FLYING ROUNDHOUSE @ 00:30
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DgtTHaIWRU
It wasn’t quite the Crane Kick but Mads held her arms up in a droopy ‘Y’ and lifted one foot high just because it felt good to knock Jacobs on her ass after getting caught napping at the bell. Dropping the pose after less than five seconds, Maddy bent down over the stunned blonde and scraped her off the canvas with a double handful of hair. The urge to run her mouth was so strong that Crane actually bit her tongue to keep herself quiet and thus not waste any time.
A Toe Kick to the gut doubled Jacobs, making her an easy target for the Standing Headscissors that followed. “You’re right about one thing, Jenny.” Maddy allowed herself a few soft words after she’d secured the Waistlock. “I’ll never forget tonight.” She bent her knees and hoisted Jacobs upside down, but where Jenny had tried for a Powerbomb and paid the price, Crane simply inverted her rival for a Piledriver and dropped to her tush. The usual number of sympathetic groans from the crowd were almost immediately overrode by surprised murmurs as Maddy tightened the coil on Jenny’s midsection and rolled over onto her knees. Working as quickly and carefully as she could, Crane got to her feet and upended Jacobs for a second Piledriver! THWONK! The second hit just as hard as the first and Jenny surely would’ve puddled out on her back IF the redhead had released her hooks. Unfortunately for Jenny, Maddy did no such thing. Squirming onto her knees again, she forced the both of them to her feet only to give up the Waistlock! Anyone hoping for a stroke of luck in Jacobs’s favor was doomed to disappointment as Crane slipped her arms under the blonde’s biceps and knotted her hands in a Double Underhook.
The Mania crowd leapt to their feet at once, thinking they were destined to witness Plan M less than four minutes into the match. Maddy would’ve been a liar if she said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind, but ultimately she bypassed the twirling unpleasantness to simply flip the blonde upside down. THAT got the fans buzzing about a Deschain Driver, not that anyone was disappointed when the Princess of the Punchline went up on her toes and dropped forward and down to THAWHUMP Jacobs flat on her face, chest and tummy with a huge Facebuster.
DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9eTTM7RqKw
Hard as the maneuver hit, Jenny was still on all fours almost immediately and would’ve regained her feet (or at least made the ropes) shortly thereafter if Crane hadn’t circled around behind her and applied a grinding Waistlock. Gouging her hands into blonde midsection as soon as they were locked, Mads twisted her hips and jerked back to force the Innovator into an unpleasant seat. “I know you think I don’t respect you, Jenny.” the redhead muttered as she wrenched Jacobs’s left arm back in a Chickenwing. “That’s not true, though. I’ve always respected you, still do.” Maddy reached around with her right arm, snuggling the other woman’s chin deep into the crook of her elbow. “I’m just not in awe of you. Not anymorNNNNGGHH!”
Jenny pulled her head forward and snapped it back, smacking her attacker in the chin just in time to stop her from somersaulting into the FTW! The Crossface Chickenwing loosened somewhat, which wasn’t nearly enough for Jenny, who was practically frantic to avoid another stint in the humbling maneuver. Following her initial resistance with a pair of stern elbow strikes to Crane’s ribs, Jacobs set her heels against the canvas and draaaaaaagged herself a little closer to the ropes. Behind her, a watery-eyed Maddy Crane clasped her hands and bore down until the NoCal Sensation squeaked in discomfort.
The increased pressure might’ve put a dent in her oxygen supply, it did not however quell Jenny’s escape efforts for more than few heartbeats. Simultaneously leaning back and dragging herself to stifle the redhead’s inevitable bridge attempt, Jenny thumped and jounced her way across the canvas until she managed to hook one wildly straining foot over the bottom rope.
“Break it, Maddy!” Jenny made the demand to her rival rather than waste a second entreating the official. “I’m in the ropes, so break the hold!”
Crane thought about it, then murmured, “What’s wrong, Jenny? Afraid you couldn’t last another five seconds? I bet you could!” With that she reefed back and choked up, pouring on the pressure while Jacobs snarled and the ref counted off, “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Maddy let loose, patted her foe’s shoulders with both hands and got out of Dodge before Jenny could drill a Back Elbow into her mouth. Unable to decide if she was angrier at Crane or herself, Jacobs knew she could figure it out after a moment to regroup so she dragged herself the rest of the way to the ropes and slid out onto the apron. Merle, who’d wisely kept a safe distance for most of the opening skirmish, noted a hard look in Maddy’s eyes and stepped between her and the recovering blonde. “Back it up, Mads.” he said quietly. “She made it to the ropes, which means she’s earned the right to catch her breath. I’d make sure you got the same opportunity if your positions were reversed.”
The Happy Anarchist did as bade, albeit without actually looking at the official. “I don’t need you to watch my back, Merle. But I’d buy you lotto tickets for a year if you could make Jenny admit she’s quitting a little more every time she crawls her arrogant ass over to those ropes.”
Any soothing effect the apron might’ve had on Jacobs’s nerves was promptly dispelled at the sound of Crane’s voice. On her feet in an instant, Jenny glared daggers at the redhead but didn’t rejoin her in the squared circle, at least not yet. “Oh, I’M a quitter for using the ropes to break a hold? So what did that make you when you retreated to the floor all of five seconds after the opening bell? Another quitter? Or just a punk-ass bytch?”
Maddy lunged for the strands only to spit something entirely inappropriate when Merle wrapped an arm around her waist. “What did I say Maddy? Leave her be for now and Jenny, don’t run your mouth when I have to hold someone back!”
“Don’t feel bad, buddy. Jenny’s got some sort of hold on the zebras in this place.” Crane had stopped struggling, but she sure as hell hadn’t backed off either. “She just bats her eyes, squeals a little and all of you rush in to keep her from taking the ass kicking she so richly NNNNGGHHHH!”
The Innovator hopped onto the bottom rope, leaned in as far as she could and swiveled Maddy’s head to the side with a scornful Bytch Slap. “Watch your F*CKING mouth, Maddy.” Jenny snarled at reeling jokester. “Or I’ll spread that shyt hole all over the can--”
Jacobs got real quiet, real fast as Mads twisted free of the zebra and went nose to nose with her from the other side of the ropes. “I think you’re confused, JJ.” the Glad Bomber whispered. “My mouth RUNS all over the place. Your legs are what get spreaDEERRRRGGGHHHH BYTCH!”
To hell with rules and decorum, the NoCal Sensation buried both hands in Maddy’s coppery locks and tried her damndest to pull them out in great big hanks. Not about to let Jenny make a withdrawal on her scalp without a serious investment of her own, Crane applied her own hooks and proceeded to wrench the blonde’s noggin back n’ forth!
“Hey, knock that off!” Merle barked mere seconds after the follicular tug of war was under way. “C’mon now, enough of that catty shyt!” Both Crane and Jacobs extricated one hand from her opponent’s hair and the ref believed the other was soon to follow. So he was doubly disappointed when the ladies curled said hands into angry fists and started pounding away at the other’s forehead! Understandably nervous about losing control of such a high profile contest, Merle summoned as much bass as he could before starting in on the count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI--”
Jenny released Maddy’s hair, put that hand against the side of her face and shoved hard enough to send the New Yorker stumbling back on her heels. “That’s right asshole, take a good look!” Jacobs showed her foe the double J’s, then twisted her wrists and transformed it into stereo middle fingers. “You’ll see ‘em again right after I make your lying slut ass tap the hell NNNNGGGHHHH!”
Maddy stormed in showing an answering Slap only to pound a knee into the blonde’s midsection. Snatching Jenny at the nape of the neck, the Sultana of Slapstick jerked her head up, leaned in close and peppered her cheek with half a dozen short, brisk slaps. “Go on and disrespect me again, Jacobs.” She curled her smackin’ hand into a fist, popped the middle finger and held it less than an inch from the other woman’s nose. “See if it gets you anything other than hurtEERRRGHOOOWWWW!”
Jenny wrapped her fingers around the bird, squeezed tight and tried to bend it backward toward her antagonist’s wrist. Maddy flailed and smacked at her wrists, so Jacobs abruptly let go and once again plunged her hands into the other woman’s hair. Paying no attention to Merle or the concerned buzz of the FAWNatics, Jenny stepped off the apron and dropped to the floor to TWANG Crane’s windpipe against the rubber-coated steel.
Maddy’s hands flew to her burning throat but she didn’t clear off the ropes, which proved a detriment because Jenny clamped manacles around her ankles and yanked the Original Pranksta’s legs out from underneath. To make matters worse, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds stepped back and YANKED her prey from the ring to the floor, Mads landing with a heavy, unpleasant THUMP! Her reflexes slowed by the sharp drop, Maddy sucked wind for a few seconds before she was able to brace her elbows against the floor and push to a “OOOOFFFFHHH!”
Hands planted on the apron for extra support, Jacobs reared back and drilled the toe of her left boot deep into the pit of her opponent’s stomach. “Suuuuuhhhh…. so the rumors are true, then.” Crane winced, both arms crossed tight over her roiling gut. “Your inner skank only comes out when you’re feeling threatNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Jenny rose up on tiptoe, laced both hands overhead and dropped to one knee, all the better to THWHUMP the Double Axehandle into the crown of the redhead’s skull. Maddy started violently, but maintained the wherewithal to grab at the Innovator’s wrists rather than devote herself wholly to defense. “You think I’m threatened by you, Maddy?” Jacobs’s tone was acidic as she palmed the sides of her rival’s skull. “Let me let you in on a little secret, honey. You’re not a threat, you’re an irritation. A minor nuisance to be dealt with while I work my way back into the title hunt. That’s all you ever were and all you’ll ever be, no matter what sort of bullshyt Deschain has whispered into your ERGH!”
The NoCal Sensation almost had Crane upright when she dipped her head and tucked it under the blonde’s chin. Lacing her hands across the back of her head to make sure Jacobs didn’t go anywhere, Maddy immediately dropped to her knees with the blonde’s head still wedged in place. The THWHUNK of jaw on forehead set Jenny back on her heels as expected. What it didn’t do was knock her down. More than happy to pick up where the Jawbreaker left off, the Happy Anarchist pounced and planted her left foot on Jacobs’s left thigh and whipped her right leg around in a deadly arc aimed straight for Jenny’s head. A split-second sooner would’ve made all the difference, alas that was the precise amount of time the former IC champ needed to drop and she did it with a half a heartbeat to spare.
As such the otherwise flawless Enzugiri flicked harmlessly overhead and Crane landed awkwardly on all fours with Jacobs directly on her six. “Swing and a miss.” Jenny said with a smirk. “My turn.”
The fans sitting ringside expected the blonde to help herself to a handful of waistband so they were caught off guard when Jacobs stepped forward and CRAAAACKED Mads on the lower back with a resounding Overhead Slap. Maddy’s yelped and reared back on her knees, one hand pressed to the growing welt while the other fumbled blindly for the apron. It was an ungainly, unflattering position the redhead didn’t much care for, thankfully she didn’t have to hold it long because Jenny charged, flipped and caught Crane’s skull in both hands as she sailed overhead. THWHUMP! Maddy’s forehead bounced off the blue-sheathed concrete hard enough to roll her onto her back in the aftermath.
SOMERSAULT CUTTER @ 00:16
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP_UFSf85IQ
Beside her, Jenny offered a pair of J’s to a fan taking a picture down near the corner, then flicked her trunks back into place. She already had a hand in Crane’s hair when she caught wind of Merle’s count. “TWELVE… THIRTEEN… FOURTEEN!”
Temporarily dismissing Maddy in favor of keeping the bout alive, Jacobs got up and rolled under the bottom rope only to slide right back to the floor. “Aww c’mon Jenny, don’t game it like that.” the official complained. “These people didn’t pay good money to watch you two on the outside.”
“You’re right, Merle.” the blonde agreed. “These people paid good money to see us fight and that’s what they’re going to get, no matter where it takes me. It’s not my fault Crane doesn’t have the guts to keep this in the ring.”
“F*ck you, ass-hat.” Maddy’d made it to all fours, or all three’s rather, as the palm of one hand was pressed tight to her aching forehead. “You’re the one who dragged me out here for NNNNNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Sympathetic groans from the ‘Mania crowd as Jenny laid a heavy kick straight across the penitent lovely’s shoulders. “Correction.” Jenny’s hands were in Maddy’s hair again and they wasted no time hauling the winded warrior to verticality. “I came out here to get away from your blatant grandstanding and even that wasn’t far enough. It’s not my fault you rolled your happy ass out here and discovered you couldn’t hack GUUUUUUHHH!”
Mads snapped her head backward to drive it into the blonde’s tummy, then added to the tally with a pair of Back Elbows that hit within a half second of one another. Quick to rise once Jenny was silenced, the Queen of the Facebuster Tribe reached over her right shoulder with both hands and snagged her archrival in a Three Quarters Facelock. Whether Maddy was thinking of a Cutter, a Shiranui or a Stunner would remain a topic of debate for months to come, as she wasn’t able to enact her offense before Jenny put both hands against the small of her back and ran the two of them straight for the solid steel post.
A rousing mixture of cheers and boos as Maddy BWONKED into the corner and somehow skidded around it, the redhead getting an arm around the joint for better support.
“Oooohhhhh, that sounded like it hurt.” Jacobs murmured in her rival’s ear. “But does it hurt as much as this?” The Innovator slipped her right arm under Crane’s right bicep to complete the Half Nelson, then cinched an arm around her waist to pull her away from the post. Though dazed from her collision with the steel, Maddy wasn’t so out of it that she failed to recognize the severity of her situation. She managed a single violent lunge for the apron but with Jenny glued to her back she didn’t make it even halfway before the NoCal Sensation dipped down and hauled her into the air. This was followed by a piercing shriek from Crane and a sympathetic moan from the crowd as Jenny dropped to one knee and deposited her redheaded burden across the bony joint.
HALF NELSON BACKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6YcE4akKXY
The Backbreaker bounced Maddy off her attacker’s knee and put her on the floor, a painful secondary landing that rolled her onto her stomach even though she wasn’t in the ring proper. Speaking of which, Merle’s count hit ‘SIXTEEN!’ right about the time Jenny hit the Backbreaker, which meant she had to dip under the bottom rope for a second time.
“What’re you doing. Jenny? the beleaguered referee asked of his fair-haired charge. “You don’t need to work like this!”
Jacobs paused just long enough to fix him with a level look. “Everything I’ve done is well within the confines of the rules, Merle. Warn me if you think I need it, otherwise shut your mouth and stay the hell out of my way.” Sliding out the way she’d come, the Innovator circled around to Crane’s ankles and rolled her onto her back. In firm control with an ankle in each hand, Jenny folded Maddy’s right shin across the pit of the redhead’s left knee. Maddy, who’d been trying to steady her breathing ever since the Backbreaker, sat up the instant Jacobs wedged her left leg under the blonde’s armpit.
“Get the hell off my legs, Jenny!” the redhead growled even as she slapped and pounded at her attacker’s shoulders. “You’re not gonna tie me up out herRWHOOOAAAANNNNNGGGHH!”
Maddy was partially right, Jenny didn’t actually flip her over for the Jacobs Ladder, she did however lift her into a near headstand that had Crane pawing at the floor in search of leverage. Alas there was none to be had and she could only hiss in frustration as the NoCal Sensation dragged her over to the BWAAAAAANG! Jenny lifted her foe off the floor in a half crunch, pivoted to the right and then swung back to the left to slam Mads into the steel barrier! Maddy groaned, tried to squirm free and again found herself bounced off the unforgiving steel. Forced to admit she could do nothing other than cover up, the Sultana of Slapstick wrapped her arms around her head and held on for dear life while the rampaging Innovator BWANGED her against the guardrail over and over and over again.
More than a little surprised by the near Vale-levels of ferocity displayed by the usually clinical blonde, Merle paused his count and didn’t say a word until some of the FAWNatics (mostly those with freshly bruised shins) yelled for his attention. Shaking off his surprise (if not his distress), the official cleared his throat and barked, “One warning, Jenny. Get it in the ring, NOW!”
Jacobs set the battered redhead down on the floor without need of further prompting. Her arms had been getting sore and she certainly wasn’t going to content herself with a count-out. On the other hand she didn’t much care for being told what to do, which explained why she muscled Crane off the mats for one final BWAAAANG against the still-thrumming barrier. “I HEARD you, Merle!” Jenny had her hands raised to make sure the squawking dope knew she was listening. “So just shut up long enough for me to get her back in the ring, ok?”
That got no response from the zebra, so Jenny collected her burden by trunks & tresses and peeled her off the floor. Nothing fancy when it came time to get Mads back in the squared circle, Jacobs simply charged the apron and slung her under the bottom rope like a sack of laundry. Battered and bruised but hardly insensate, the Princess of the Punchline added a little of her own momentum to make sure she made it a little bit beyond the center of the ring. A gap like that might not’ve saved her from someone like Domi Daly or Lily Burlingame, but she thought it kept her clear of Jacobs’s blast radi--“UNNNNNNNGGGHH!”
Having come to a stop on her stomach, Crane didn’t see the NorCal Sensation hop onto the apron and immediately vault to the top rope. Balanced atop it like it was the width of a sidewalk and not a tightrope, Jenny raised the Double J’s, then dipped her knees and sprang out into the aether, folding herself in half at the apex just to stretch out a heartbeat before she slammed down on the redhead’s vulnerable lower back.
“AAAHHHH FAAAAHHK!” Maddy’s usual good cheer was replaced with a grimace of anguish as she arched her back and put one hand to the point of impact. The pain was still quite fresh when Jacobs shot the Half Nelson, rolled her over and dropped down atop her chest for a Crossbody. Hooking the far leg while her other hand remained flat against the mat, Jenny pulled Maddy’s knee up to her chest while Merle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Happy Anarchist got a shoulder off the mat, earning herself a cheer from the crowd and a sharp smack on the tummy from Jenny. “You’re good Maddy, but you’re not ready for this level of competition yet.” Jacobs noted as she got to her feet.
Though she was the very picture of vulnerability at the moment, Crane still managed a great deal of steel for her reply. “I was good enough to make you tap out last time, Jenny.” she huffed. “That’s all I need to OH I DON’T THINK SO! LET THE HELL GO OF MY LEEEGGGGRRRRRAAAAAAHH!”
Set at the redhead’s feet, Jenny turned around, dropped into a crouch and made a claim on both of her foe’s ankles. Tucking them under her armpits, Jacobs stood up, locked her hands and slooooooooooowly turned around. In doing so she rolled Maddy onto her stomach and ultimately stepped across her prone frame. “You want me to let you go, Mads?” Jenny had sank to one knee, all the better to put even more torque on her rival’s lower back. “Then wrestle your way out. Or tap out. Either one works for me.”
INVERTED BOSTON CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah7TdtdSF70
Maddy didn’t bother to shout ‘no’ or even flip JJ the birds, indeed she only waggled a finger for Merle when her checked on her a few seconds later. Not to say that she was sinking into resignation, as nothing was further from the truth. In fact, the usually mouthy grappler had finally learned to steady her nerves in the most dire of situations and now rather than waste her energy on insults, jokes and the like, she honed in on the task and hand and-- appreciative buzz and impressed applause as Maddy pushed up on her palms and started walking, or rather, dragging, the both of them to the ropes.
More surprised by the crowd’s reaction to this resistance rather than the act itself, Jenny frowned, rose into a crouch and trailed along with the ponderously moving redhead. “You’re taking too much punishment, Maddy.” Jenny leaned forward on the Inverted Crab to better emphasize the point. “Should’ve been out by now. At this rate I won’t even need the Ladder to finish--”
“Cool story, Jenny.” Crane interrupted with more than a flash of her usual snark. “Tell it to me again when I’ve reached the rop--OH COME ON YOU CHEAP SKANK!” Maddy’s progress to the ropes was far quicker than Jacobs had anticipated, perhaps that explained the look of clear glee on her face when she straightened up and draaaaaaagged the other wrestler all the way back to start.
“Not cheap, baby. Jenny leaned down over her opponent’s back with the Inverted Crab still cinched on tight. “It’s called being a better wrestler. This’ll be over as soon as you admit that. For now, give me your hands.”
Maddy had no intention of doing so, instead she jabbed her elbows into the mat and resumed her thwarted attempt for the strands. More aware of the frustration in her gut than she’d care to admit, Jenny wedged the Sultana’s boots even tighter against her armpits, thus freeing both hands to SMACK at the redhead’s exposed flanks. “Hands, Maddy.” the Innovator demanded between slaps. “I can slap you all day, Crane. Don’t think I won’t. Give me those hands!”
Careful to keep her hands crossed tight against her chest even though it slowed her momentum to a crawl, Maddy shook a defiant ‘no’ and crept on inching toward freedom. “Yuuuuuuurrrrrggghhh…. you wanna beat me, JJ?” she rasped after several seconds had elapsed. “You’re gonna have to break me…. just like I broke youOOHHHAAAAAASSSSHHHYT YOU CRUEL SLUT!”
Madder and madder with each passing word, Jenny leaned forward, snagged Crane’s togs in both hands and sent them north with a wedgie so heartless it had most of the FAWNatics shifting uncomfortably in their seats. “Give me your hands and I’ll let go of your trunks, Mads.” Jacobs snarled. “I won’t ask again.”
Jaw clenched as she endured the galling punishment, Crane uttered a wild little laugh and answered, “Damn shame, that is! Because I could tell you no a thousand more times, EASSSSOOOOOOOOWWWW FAAAAAAAAAHHK! HAIR, MERLE! HAAAAAAAAAIIIR!”
Watching the match later, Mads would mute this particular moment and mutter ‘no shyt, Sherlock.’ For indeed there was no denying this was a hair-pull of the most emphatic variety. Tired of the redhead’s denials, Jacobs gave up on capturing Maddy’s hands and plunged both of hers into the other woman’s hair instead. Snatching as much as she could, Jenny took a deep breath and slowly muscled Crane off the mat in a Rocking Horse Crab that used the Pranksta’s follicles instead of her wrists! As creative as it was illegal, Jenny’s latest fusion only lasted ‘til the count of ‘FOUR!’ yet it was still more than enough to leave Maddy curled up in a ball while the FAWNatics cringed in sympathetic anguish.
Posted over the momentarily humbled grappler, Jacobs plucked some loose strands from her palms, then brushed them clean on the seat of her trunks. “Ready to call it, Maddy? Or do I have to teach you another lesson?”
“Thuuu…. there’s always more to learn, JJ.” Maddy grunted. “Why don’t you try to show me you’re as good as you think you NNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Jenny stomped the redhead’s ribs and helped herself to another double handful of hair when Crane tried to cover up. Forcing Mads to verticality in a series of tugs and yanks, the NorCal Sensation switched over to a Wristlock, stepped back and slung her victim into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Stalking after Crane to minimize the space she had to effect a counter or escape, Jenny leaned to the right and wrapped both arms around Maddy’s waist. Hands locking on nothing more than muscle memory, Jacobs tore the redhead from her moorings, whipped her around in a 270-degree spin and-- the Original Pranksta twisted loose of Jenny’s clutches and dropped to her feet directly in front of the surprised Innovator. Jenny reared back for a Haymaker but Crane was the tiniest bit faster, catching the startled grappler between the eyes with a High Knee delivered from a straight vertical leap.
LEAPING KNEE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_14Isym8OtQ
Jacobs stepped in a fencepost hole, caught her bearings and replied with another wild swipe, which Mads promptly thwarted by seizing her wrist in both hands. Gamely ignoring the hell in her lower back to dole out some punishment, Crane spun the captured limb in a circle that finished with her sidled up against Jenny’s right shoulder and hip. Pulling Jenny’s right arm snug across her own midsection, the Glad Bomber hooked her left leg over Jacobs’s right shin and palmed the back of the blonde’s head with her left hand. Maddy helped herself to a whole lot of hair, rocked back on her heels and dropped forward and down to PLANT Jenny’s forehead on the canvas with a huge Reverse Russian Leg Sweep! Jenny hit hard, sprawled over onto her back and just as quickly moved to her stomach to block any quick pin.
REVERSE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJdFxgHJxRw
Maddy wasn’t thinking about pins though, not after the NoCal Sensation had spent the last several minutes doing everything in her power to break the redhead’s back. “Put a whole lotta fresh kinks in my spine there, JJ.” she noted in the midst of getting to her feet. “Not gonna whine about it, this is a wrestling match after all. I am however, going to see those kinks and raise you some new dents in your skull.”
Jenny’s answer was to clamber to all fours, so Maddy stepped up behind her and laid claim to the blonde’s thighs. Pulling those strong legs up and off the mat, Crane knotted her hands against Jacobs’s tummy, then dipped her knees and lifted / swung the Californian up until her back was smudged against the redhead’s chest. Maddy didn’t let her think about it for long, indeed Jenny didn’t even get a chance to shake her head ‘no’ before the Glad Bomber halved the Waistlock and put that hand against the small of Jacobs’s back, all the better to THWHUMP her face, chest and tummy into the mat with a Sit-Out Wheelbarrow Facebuster.
SIT-OUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OAq8tTD5U
Crane had rolled this maneuver into a pinning predicament in the past and that’s what her fans called for now, however Maddy had different ideas. Seated comfortably between the sprawled gams of her adversary, the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe hunched forward and worked her arms around Jenny’s midsection. “Should probably work on the back of your head too.” Maddy muttered as she worked her way to boot leather. “Wouldn’t want you to look uneven, the lack of symmetry would offend me.”
Woozy and cranky after the pair of face drops, Jacobs kept one hand braced against the mat while the other worked at the clasp of Maddy’s fingers. “Yuuuuhhhh… you know what offends me, Crane? This stubborn idea that you’re actually going to wiNNWOOAAHHHNNNNNGGHHH!”
Mads yanked her off the mat like she was thinking about a second Facebuster, only she released the Waistlock at the halfway point, which sent Jenny’s legs swinging out into the void. In the heartbeat before gravity could claim her prize, Crane whipped around in a half circle and reached over her right shoulder to catch Jenny’s chin on the fly. Then she laid out, landing flat on her back to THAWHUNK the back of her rival’s skull to the mat courtesy of a Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker. Jacobs hit hard and whiplashed to a seat, both arms laced tight against her pounding noggin.
WHEELBARROW NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVO0laIQYjA
What little succor they might’ve provided was yanked away as soon as Crane crawled up behind her and wrenched the blonde’s left arm back in Chickenwing. All other anguishes forgot in her frenzy to avoid the FTW, Jenny kicked out both legs and reaaaaached with her free hand in hopes of getting to the strands before--NOPE! Maddy twisted the blonde around and leaned forward, pressing Jenny into an unpleasant crunch that put her forehead less than six inches from the canvas even as the Sultana wormed her right arm around the NorCal Sensation’s thro--”AAAARRRRGGGGHHH SHYT!”
Those dangerous hooks dropped away when Jacobs wedged her muzzle into the crook of the redhead’s elbow and chomped down on her bicep! “You cheap skank!” Maddy snarled as she filled her hands with the blonde’s sweat-damp hair. “Almost nine million moves on your f*cking list and you’ve gotta bite your way out?”
Forcing the other woman to stand after several sharp yanks, Crane spun the blonde around and planted a Toe Kick in her belly to double her over. A Front Facelock secured Jenny’s head and after that it was an easy thing to sling the Innovator’s near arm over her shoulders. The FAWNatics leapt to their feet as Maddy snagged a handful of waistband and they got downright rowdy when she hoisted Jenny off the canvas and barrel rolled through ‘OOOOOHHHH!’ Jacobites the world over voiced love for their heroine when she spun free of Maddy’s clutches and dropped to her feet directly in front of the Red Hook Jester.
CRAAACK! Jenny smacked the taste out of Crane’s mouth, grabbed hold of opposing top and jerked her into a Headbutt between the eyes. Tucking her head just enough to slip under Maddy’s right arm, Jacobs hooked her own right arm across the New Yorker’s chest and cupped the back of her neck. Her other hand flew to the rafters, thumb and forefinger already curled in that familiar sigil. “JENNY-CIDEEERRRRRRGGHHH!”
Maddy pounded her elbow into the side of the blonde’s head and when that didn’t end Jacobs’s grip she crooked that hand into a claw and raaaaaaaaaaked it across her eyes. Jenny stumbled away or at least started to, she’d only made it a few steps when Mads reached around the blonde’s noggin and twisted it sharply to one side. More than a little sore over having her finisher denied, the Princess of the Punchline dipped her knees and yanked Jenny off her feet even as she began to spin in a circle! Startled cries and flashbulbs all over the arena as Crane twirled her airborne adversary through one, two, three full rotations before dropping to a seat! Jenny’s forehead THWONKED off the thinly-sheathed plywood with sickening force, leaving her facedown and motionless on the mat until Crane shot a Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back. Scrambling around to her foe’s left side in the blink of an eye, Maddy hooked both legs and folded Jenny in half with a perfect Back Press that lasted through…
SPINNING CRAVATE FACEBUSTER @ 1:45
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBgtRGwevhc
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Cheers all ‘round as Jenny eased onto her side with the ref’s hand a mere whisper shy of ‘THREE!’
Crane pounded a palm against the canvas but didn’t bother to second guess the count. Instead she popped to her feet, raised one hand high overhead and slowly curled it into a fist. Jokesters and Jacobites cheered, then broke into a spirited rendition of the Jaws theme as Maddy stomped to the corner behind Jenny and climbed to the high rent district. As for the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds, she was propped up on one elbow while the other tried to rub the worst of the ache from her skull. Vaguely aware of the crowd making some noise that didn’t sound like their usual roar, Jacobs slowly clambered to verticality and-- her eyes popped open as her Facebuster-fogged brain noted two things simultaneously. The crowd was doing the damned Jaws song AND she couldn’t see Crane. Already bracing for a hateful Snark Attack, Jenny whipped around and dropped into a tumbling somersault. Perfect timing too because Maddy would’ve harpooned her left glute if she’d been a half-second slower.
Cursing as she stumbled through an awkward landing, Maddy turned, found the Innovator baring down on her and fired off a desperation Savate Kick. No dodging this time, Jenny took the redhead’s boot square in the jaw and though it didn’t knock her down it sure as hell slowed her roll to a crawl. Suddenly determined to level her rival with something from the high rent district, Mads wheeled around, raced to the opposite corner and vaulted onto the top rope in a single bound. She twisted around as the capacity crowd started to cheer, which meant she got an excellent view of Jenny leaving the canvas to take up a mount on the top rope as well.
The rubber-coated steel shivered violently, but redhead and blonde grabbed onto the other, which almost certainly spared them both from a nasty fall. Of course it also meant they were practically nose to nose and once balance was assured they halved their grips and started pounding away on her opponent’s pate. Simultaneously worried and thrilled to watch a hockey fight play out on what was essentially a pair of tight ropes, the FAWNatics cheered their favorite for the better part of ten seconds before the combatants wailed and the clench fell apart.
Maddy reeled backward to the very limits of balance, one hand pressed to her right eye while her other arm spun like a frantic windmill. Jenny actually did fall, but she did so into the ring and landed on her feet with only the slightest bit of backpedaling. Eyes narrowed, she ran her tongue over her bottom lip and tasted far more copper than she would’ve liked. Noting Crane’s impending recovery, Jacobs abruptly charged the corner a second time, but rather than come at it head-on, she hopped onto the middle rope directly to Maddy’s left. Grabbing hold of the Sultana’s shoulder the moment she touched down, Jacobs jumped from her first perch to the top rope on Crane’s left, then crouched down and took off yet again, this time in a flawless back-flip that just so happened to take Mads along for the ride.
SPRINGBOARD AVALANCHE JENNY-CIDE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uhgtns5wjU
The THA-WHAM of their landing was *almost* engulfed by the roar from the crowd, yet not even their enthusiasm could drown out the power of a Jenny-Cide delivered from the top rope. Bounced back onto her knees by the force of the landing, Jacobs put aside a very strong urge to clutch her ribs in favor of slinging a leg over Maddy’s fluttering chest. Damned near sitting on her opponent’s neck, the NorCal Sensation leaned forward, laid claim to the redhead’s right leg and cranked it back in a Half Matchbook while the ref tolled off…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Jenny tossed Maddy’s gam aside, bounded to her feet and saluted with a pair of J’s while the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… JENNY JACOBS!”
Damned glad to hear that at ‘Mania after what seemed like forever, the Innovator headed to the corner that’d decided the finish and mounted the second rope. “FEELS GOOD TO HEAR THAT AGAIN, DOESN’T IT?” Jacobs asked here redlining fans. “DON’T WORRY, YOU’RE GONNA BE HEARING IT A LOT MORE FROM NOW ON!” She took a deep breath, noticed a camera zooming in on her and smiled. When she spoke again her voice was much lower. “You thought my run with the Intercontinental Strap was impressive? Just wait until I get a shot at the World Title.”
Smiling more widely than ever, Jacobs dropped to the mat and almost walked right into the recently-vertical Maddy Crane. After a few seconds of tense silence, Jenny raised a hand and held it out. “That was a hell of a match, Maddy. You took me to the limit and I thank you for it.”
Crane opened her mouth for a moment, then snapped it shut. “You really think I’m going to shake your hand after you jammed a thumb in my eye, Jenny? I expected that sort of cheap shit from Dream, not you.”
Jenny bristled at the other woman’s tone. “See the blood running down my chin, Maddy? That’s from my bottom lip, which you split open with a damned Headbutt. IF I thumbed your eye, it was an accident and I apologize. But I don’t apologize for winning. Not here, not ever. Now are you going to shake my hand or are you going to bytch out on FAWN’s biggest stage?”
Maddy gnashed her teeth, rolled her shoulders and generally looked like she was going to punch the blonde in the mouth. Eventually she grabbed Jenny’s hand and gave it a strong squeeze. “I don’t need an apology, JJ. I need another match. The question is, will you give it to me?”
“I’ve beaten you twice, Maddy. Why should I do it again?” “Do I look beaten to you, baby?”
“One more time then. But don’t you dare say a word when I run up the score. Remember Maddy, you wanted this. Now get out of my ring.”
Maddy nodded once, shook the blonde’s hand and let Jenny pull aw--she yanked the NoCal Sensation so close their foreheads bumped. “Remember this moment when you’re the one asking ME for one more match, Jenny. Remember it and PRAY I show you more respect than you’ve shown me.” With that she tossed Jacobs’s hand away and stormed out of the ring, disappointment clear on her face, but head held high nonetheless.
Jenny watched her go, angry that Crane had managed to put a damper on her good mood, if only temporarily. “You’ll get your shot, Maddy.” she murmured. “And after you lose you can go back to snarking with idiots on-line. I’ll be up here winning titles and making history.”
JENNY JACOBS:
The Jacobites let loose with a thunderous roar when Cowboy Mouth rolled through the speakers. Not too long ago their heroine had stolen this show more than once, but the last two ‘Mania’s had been rough on the Innovator. Tonight though, tonight they knew she’d right the ship and do it against a woman who was quickly becoming the blonde’s biggest riv-- Jenny stormed through the curtain, bringing a fresh round of thunderous roars from her fanatical followers. As enthusiastic as the rest of the crowd, Jenny looked out over the sea of faces and shouted, “MANIA WAS STOLEN FROM ME LAST YEAR! TONIGHT I TAKE IT BACK, WITH INTEREST!” She finished up with a pair of J’s thrown to the rafters, then raced down the ramp fast enough to give Lily Burlingame a run for her money.
For this third battle against FAWN‘s snarkiest superstar, Jenny sported a jack-o-lantern orange take on her standard indigo briefs, as well as a matching halter-style top with the cups held together by a small metal buckle in the shape of a bat. Her boots and pads were an equally seasonal black and her hair still curled in a sleek golden bob that fell to just below her ears.
Skidding under the bottom rope at the same breakneck pace, Jenny popped to one knee and rose up already showing the J’s. “This is MY card, this is MY NIGHT! she told everyone within the sound of her voice. “Get out here, Maddy. Get your ass down here so we can find out just how many of those six million plus moves it’ll take to shut your mouth for good.”
The Announcer resumed his duties as soon as the Innovator’s music faded into the general din. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Glad Bomber, this is MADDY CRANE!”
MADDY CRANE:
Anyone who hadn’t cheered Jenny’s arrival (and plenty who had) let their voices be heard alongside a blat of static from the speakers that quickly segued into Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’. Maddy appeared with her music, the rambunctious redheaded Facebuster enthusiast clearly psyched to appear on FAWN’s grandest stage. Unusually quiet for such a momentous occasion, Crane took up a position at center stage so the crowd could better take in her togs, a black sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin red belts worn bandolier style while her boots and pads were done in a shiny red. A good look no question, though a bit surprising to those assembled as they looked exactly like Maddy’s usual attire. It wasn’t until she turned around that they got the joke. For emblazoned across the seat of Maddy’s togs were three names:
Bloodwind
Deschain
Crane
Holding her position long enough for the sold out crowd to get that much louder, the Sultana of Slapstick whirled around and sped toward the squared circle. None of her usual banter with the fans tonight, alas. Crane was down the aisle and up the steel steps faster than you could say, ‘So this horse walks into a bar and…’ Posted up on the apron, she grabbed the top rope in both hands and waggled her tush a few times before vaulting into the ring. Pointedly ignoring the blonde waiting for her in the far corner, Mads zeroed in on the hard camera and tipped it a wink. “This is Jenny’s moment all right. The moment she realizes I’m gonna steal this show right out from under her nose.” Promise made, the Princess of the Punchline went to her corner so the official could make a last second inspection of her pads and boots.
The bell CLANGED and both women left their corners at a near run, but where Maddy raised her hands in anticipation of a rough Collar & Elbow, Jenny took to the skies and PWAAAKED both heels into the redhead’s mouth with a huge Dropkick! Crane went down hard, the back of her head bouncing against the canvas, yet adrenaline was a powerful thing and the Sultana of Slapstick scrambled to her feet almost at on--THWHAP! Jacobs caught her with a second Dropkick, standing this time. The lack of running start did nothing to harm the efficacy, as evidenced by the way Mads hit the deck and promptly rolled out of the ring to regain her bearings.
Allowing herself a single brisk fist pump at the sight of Crane’s retreat, the Innovator claimed the center of the ring as her own and waited impatiently for the redhead to rise. Maddy obliged her after less than five seconds, but you would’ve guessed Jenny’d waited for closer to thirty by the way she whipped around and ran to the far side of the ring. Springing to their feet as Jenny raced down her own back-trail, the Jacobites (and everyone else for that matter) let loose with an echoing roar when the blonde bombshell hopped onto the second strand and launched into a high, gorgeous somersault that THWHUMPED her back into Crane’s face and chest full-force!
SPRINGBOARD TOPE CON HIL0 @ 00:58
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SyFqamV0pg
Knocked head over heels by Jenny’s aerial artistry, Maddy slumped over to one side and curled into a ball, one hand pressed snug to the back of her ringing head. Beside her, Jacobs rolled out of the crash without so much as a scratch to distract from that million dollar smile. J’s thrown high even before she reached her feet, the NorCal Sensation bellowed, “THAT’S HOW YOU START HOT, PEOPLE!”
The sigil was returned a thousand-fold, not that Jenny waited around to confirm the love. She’d already honed in on the reeling redhead, helping herself to a handful of togs and tresses. The tug that followed might’ve been the tiniest bit harder than necessary, but no one raised a complaint, Crane included. Twisting around on the spot to build up a little extra momentum, Jenny charged the apron and slung her opponent under the bottom rope in a reeling tangle of limbs.
Jenny leapt to the apron rather than slide in after the prankster, certain she’d have plenty of time to deliver a move from the high rent district or other dangerous environs. So she was slightly perturbed when Crane braced her elbows against the mat and sat up almost the instant she’d come to a stop. “Don‘t get used to the lights and the crowd, baby.” Jacobs muttered under her breath as she raced along the edge and around the corner to line up in front of the woozy grappler. “You’re not gonna be out here much longer.”
Any response Crane might’ve offered was swallowed by the thunder of the sold-out crowd, not that Jenny would’ve paid attention to her anyway. Feet set firm against the apron, Jenny grabbed the top rope in both hands and leaaaaaaaaaned back into a deep crouch. It got quite a few whistles from the first few rows, then the whistlers added their voices to the rest of the throng when Jacobs jumped onto the top rope and practically launched herself into the lights. Lifting her knees to hip level, Jacobs actually showed the Double J’s in the second before she THWHAMMED her shins into Crane’s face and chest. The Springboard Meteora rolled Mads onto her shoulders with her rump pointed straight at the rafters.
SPRINGBOARD METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRmhmofQ8Og
Nerves and gravity would’ve stretched her out sooner than later if Jenny hadn’t frozen her in place by turning around and hooking both arms over Maddy’s thighs in a makeshift Matchbook pin. Yanking back on Crane’s stems even as she leaned forward, Jacobs pressed her chest against Maddy’s upturned haunches and nodded along while Merle slapped the mat…
ONE…
TWO…
It wasn’t *quite* a near-fall, just close enough to make the ‘Mania crowd gasp when the Queen of the Facebusters bucked clear of her attacker. Jenny slapped her kneepads hard and shook her head in an ‘almost got ‘er’ sort of way. She wasn’t actually angry about the escape and she certainly didn’t want her time at ‘Mania to end that fast, but after the disappointment of the last two years she couldn’t deny the appeal of blowing Crane’s doors off. “Got a real treat for you tonight, Maddy.” JJ grabbed a double handful of red hair, then cupped her ears instead to avoid the official’s wrath. “There’s a whole highlight reel’s worth of new material just for you and all your favorite classics too! Here’s one I’m sure you’ll remember!”
Jacobs tugged Maddy forward, THWHUMPED a Kneelift into her tummy and quickly stuffed her into a Standing Headscissors when she doubled over. Somehow resisting the urge to punish Crane with a hellacious wedgie, Jenny coiled her arms around that undefended midsection and flipped Maddy up onto her shoulders for-- an unexpected twitch from the redhead freed Maddy’s legs from Jacobs’s control and dropped her into a very short fall that ended with her butt resting on the back of the blonde’s shoulders. Hooking her legs under the Innovator’s biceps before she was fully aware of her own actions, the Princess of the Punchline leaned down, slapped on her own Waistlock and just kept rolling. Her hooks and the abrupt shift in momentum flipped Jenny off her feet and PLANTED her on the back of her head and shoulders as the victim of an absurdly pretty Yoshi Tonic.
ROLLING YOSHI TONIC:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUsb50Kffps
“REMEMBER THAT, BABY!” Mads shouted it at the top of her lungs, then leaned forward and in to keep her weight on the blonde’s upturned haunches for…
ONE…
TWO…
Jacobs somersaulted out at ‘TWO!’ popped to boot-leather and immediately charged her rival for a low flying version of the Meteora! But Maddy saw it coming this time and she threw herself backward which meant the Girl of 8,675,309 Moves soared by only inches overhead. Rolling to her belly the instant she was clear, Maddy scrambled to her feet and left them as soon as Jenny started to rise. Launching from her left foot, the Glad Bomber flicked out her right leg and THWHACKED Jacobs across the side of the head with a Flying Roundhouse that knocked her flat on her back.
FLYING ROUNDHOUSE @ 00:30
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DgtTHaIWRU
It wasn’t quite the Crane Kick but Mads held her arms up in a droopy ‘Y’ and lifted one foot high just because it felt good to knock Jacobs on her ass after getting caught napping at the bell. Dropping the pose after less than five seconds, Maddy bent down over the stunned blonde and scraped her off the canvas with a double handful of hair. The urge to run her mouth was so strong that Crane actually bit her tongue to keep herself quiet and thus not waste any time.
A Toe Kick to the gut doubled Jacobs, making her an easy target for the Standing Headscissors that followed. “You’re right about one thing, Jenny.” Maddy allowed herself a few soft words after she’d secured the Waistlock. “I’ll never forget tonight.” She bent her knees and hoisted Jacobs upside down, but where Jenny had tried for a Powerbomb and paid the price, Crane simply inverted her rival for a Piledriver and dropped to her tush. The usual number of sympathetic groans from the crowd were almost immediately overrode by surprised murmurs as Maddy tightened the coil on Jenny’s midsection and rolled over onto her knees. Working as quickly and carefully as she could, Crane got to her feet and upended Jacobs for a second Piledriver! THWONK! The second hit just as hard as the first and Jenny surely would’ve puddled out on her back IF the redhead had released her hooks. Unfortunately for Jenny, Maddy did no such thing. Squirming onto her knees again, she forced the both of them to her feet only to give up the Waistlock! Anyone hoping for a stroke of luck in Jacobs’s favor was doomed to disappointment as Crane slipped her arms under the blonde’s biceps and knotted her hands in a Double Underhook.
The Mania crowd leapt to their feet at once, thinking they were destined to witness Plan M less than four minutes into the match. Maddy would’ve been a liar if she said the thought hadn’t crossed her mind, but ultimately she bypassed the twirling unpleasantness to simply flip the blonde upside down. THAT got the fans buzzing about a Deschain Driver, not that anyone was disappointed when the Princess of the Punchline went up on her toes and dropped forward and down to THAWHUMP Jacobs flat on her face, chest and tummy with a huge Facebuster.
DOUBLE UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9eTTM7RqKw
Hard as the maneuver hit, Jenny was still on all fours almost immediately and would’ve regained her feet (or at least made the ropes) shortly thereafter if Crane hadn’t circled around behind her and applied a grinding Waistlock. Gouging her hands into blonde midsection as soon as they were locked, Mads twisted her hips and jerked back to force the Innovator into an unpleasant seat. “I know you think I don’t respect you, Jenny.” the redhead muttered as she wrenched Jacobs’s left arm back in a Chickenwing. “That’s not true, though. I’ve always respected you, still do.” Maddy reached around with her right arm, snuggling the other woman’s chin deep into the crook of her elbow. “I’m just not in awe of you. Not anymorNNNNGGHH!”
Jenny pulled her head forward and snapped it back, smacking her attacker in the chin just in time to stop her from somersaulting into the FTW! The Crossface Chickenwing loosened somewhat, which wasn’t nearly enough for Jenny, who was practically frantic to avoid another stint in the humbling maneuver. Following her initial resistance with a pair of stern elbow strikes to Crane’s ribs, Jacobs set her heels against the canvas and draaaaaaagged herself a little closer to the ropes. Behind her, a watery-eyed Maddy Crane clasped her hands and bore down until the NoCal Sensation squeaked in discomfort.
The increased pressure might’ve put a dent in her oxygen supply, it did not however quell Jenny’s escape efforts for more than few heartbeats. Simultaneously leaning back and dragging herself to stifle the redhead’s inevitable bridge attempt, Jenny thumped and jounced her way across the canvas until she managed to hook one wildly straining foot over the bottom rope.
“Break it, Maddy!” Jenny made the demand to her rival rather than waste a second entreating the official. “I’m in the ropes, so break the hold!”
Crane thought about it, then murmured, “What’s wrong, Jenny? Afraid you couldn’t last another five seconds? I bet you could!” With that she reefed back and choked up, pouring on the pressure while Jacobs snarled and the ref counted off, “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Maddy let loose, patted her foe’s shoulders with both hands and got out of Dodge before Jenny could drill a Back Elbow into her mouth. Unable to decide if she was angrier at Crane or herself, Jacobs knew she could figure it out after a moment to regroup so she dragged herself the rest of the way to the ropes and slid out onto the apron. Merle, who’d wisely kept a safe distance for most of the opening skirmish, noted a hard look in Maddy’s eyes and stepped between her and the recovering blonde. “Back it up, Mads.” he said quietly. “She made it to the ropes, which means she’s earned the right to catch her breath. I’d make sure you got the same opportunity if your positions were reversed.”
The Happy Anarchist did as bade, albeit without actually looking at the official. “I don’t need you to watch my back, Merle. But I’d buy you lotto tickets for a year if you could make Jenny admit she’s quitting a little more every time she crawls her arrogant ass over to those ropes.”
Any soothing effect the apron might’ve had on Jacobs’s nerves was promptly dispelled at the sound of Crane’s voice. On her feet in an instant, Jenny glared daggers at the redhead but didn’t rejoin her in the squared circle, at least not yet. “Oh, I’M a quitter for using the ropes to break a hold? So what did that make you when you retreated to the floor all of five seconds after the opening bell? Another quitter? Or just a punk-ass bytch?”
Maddy lunged for the strands only to spit something entirely inappropriate when Merle wrapped an arm around her waist. “What did I say Maddy? Leave her be for now and Jenny, don’t run your mouth when I have to hold someone back!”
“Don’t feel bad, buddy. Jenny’s got some sort of hold on the zebras in this place.” Crane had stopped struggling, but she sure as hell hadn’t backed off either. “She just bats her eyes, squeals a little and all of you rush in to keep her from taking the ass kicking she so richly NNNNGGHHHH!”
The Innovator hopped onto the bottom rope, leaned in as far as she could and swiveled Maddy’s head to the side with a scornful Bytch Slap. “Watch your F*CKING mouth, Maddy.” Jenny snarled at reeling jokester. “Or I’ll spread that shyt hole all over the can--”
Jacobs got real quiet, real fast as Mads twisted free of the zebra and went nose to nose with her from the other side of the ropes. “I think you’re confused, JJ.” the Glad Bomber whispered. “My mouth RUNS all over the place. Your legs are what get spreaDEERRRRGGGHHHH BYTCH!”
To hell with rules and decorum, the NoCal Sensation buried both hands in Maddy’s coppery locks and tried her damndest to pull them out in great big hanks. Not about to let Jenny make a withdrawal on her scalp without a serious investment of her own, Crane applied her own hooks and proceeded to wrench the blonde’s noggin back n’ forth!
“Hey, knock that off!” Merle barked mere seconds after the follicular tug of war was under way. “C’mon now, enough of that catty shyt!” Both Crane and Jacobs extricated one hand from her opponent’s hair and the ref believed the other was soon to follow. So he was doubly disappointed when the ladies curled said hands into angry fists and started pounding away at the other’s forehead! Understandably nervous about losing control of such a high profile contest, Merle summoned as much bass as he could before starting in on the count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI--”
Jenny released Maddy’s hair, put that hand against the side of her face and shoved hard enough to send the New Yorker stumbling back on her heels. “That’s right asshole, take a good look!” Jacobs showed her foe the double J’s, then twisted her wrists and transformed it into stereo middle fingers. “You’ll see ‘em again right after I make your lying slut ass tap the hell NNNNGGGHHHH!”
Maddy stormed in showing an answering Slap only to pound a knee into the blonde’s midsection. Snatching Jenny at the nape of the neck, the Sultana of Slapstick jerked her head up, leaned in close and peppered her cheek with half a dozen short, brisk slaps. “Go on and disrespect me again, Jacobs.” She curled her smackin’ hand into a fist, popped the middle finger and held it less than an inch from the other woman’s nose. “See if it gets you anything other than hurtEERRRGHOOOWWWW!”
Jenny wrapped her fingers around the bird, squeezed tight and tried to bend it backward toward her antagonist’s wrist. Maddy flailed and smacked at her wrists, so Jacobs abruptly let go and once again plunged her hands into the other woman’s hair. Paying no attention to Merle or the concerned buzz of the FAWNatics, Jenny stepped off the apron and dropped to the floor to TWANG Crane’s windpipe against the rubber-coated steel.
Maddy’s hands flew to her burning throat but she didn’t clear off the ropes, which proved a detriment because Jenny clamped manacles around her ankles and yanked the Original Pranksta’s legs out from underneath. To make matters worse, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds stepped back and YANKED her prey from the ring to the floor, Mads landing with a heavy, unpleasant THUMP! Her reflexes slowed by the sharp drop, Maddy sucked wind for a few seconds before she was able to brace her elbows against the floor and push to a “OOOOFFFFHHH!”
Hands planted on the apron for extra support, Jacobs reared back and drilled the toe of her left boot deep into the pit of her opponent’s stomach. “Suuuuuhhhh…. so the rumors are true, then.” Crane winced, both arms crossed tight over her roiling gut. “Your inner skank only comes out when you’re feeling threatNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Jenny rose up on tiptoe, laced both hands overhead and dropped to one knee, all the better to THWHUMP the Double Axehandle into the crown of the redhead’s skull. Maddy started violently, but maintained the wherewithal to grab at the Innovator’s wrists rather than devote herself wholly to defense. “You think I’m threatened by you, Maddy?” Jacobs’s tone was acidic as she palmed the sides of her rival’s skull. “Let me let you in on a little secret, honey. You’re not a threat, you’re an irritation. A minor nuisance to be dealt with while I work my way back into the title hunt. That’s all you ever were and all you’ll ever be, no matter what sort of bullshyt Deschain has whispered into your ERGH!”
The NoCal Sensation almost had Crane upright when she dipped her head and tucked it under the blonde’s chin. Lacing her hands across the back of her head to make sure Jacobs didn’t go anywhere, Maddy immediately dropped to her knees with the blonde’s head still wedged in place. The THWHUNK of jaw on forehead set Jenny back on her heels as expected. What it didn’t do was knock her down. More than happy to pick up where the Jawbreaker left off, the Happy Anarchist pounced and planted her left foot on Jacobs’s left thigh and whipped her right leg around in a deadly arc aimed straight for Jenny’s head. A split-second sooner would’ve made all the difference, alas that was the precise amount of time the former IC champ needed to drop and she did it with a half a heartbeat to spare.
As such the otherwise flawless Enzugiri flicked harmlessly overhead and Crane landed awkwardly on all fours with Jacobs directly on her six. “Swing and a miss.” Jenny said with a smirk. “My turn.”
The fans sitting ringside expected the blonde to help herself to a handful of waistband so they were caught off guard when Jacobs stepped forward and CRAAAACKED Mads on the lower back with a resounding Overhead Slap. Maddy’s yelped and reared back on her knees, one hand pressed to the growing welt while the other fumbled blindly for the apron. It was an ungainly, unflattering position the redhead didn’t much care for, thankfully she didn’t have to hold it long because Jenny charged, flipped and caught Crane’s skull in both hands as she sailed overhead. THWHUMP! Maddy’s forehead bounced off the blue-sheathed concrete hard enough to roll her onto her back in the aftermath.
SOMERSAULT CUTTER @ 00:16
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP_UFSf85IQ
Beside her, Jenny offered a pair of J’s to a fan taking a picture down near the corner, then flicked her trunks back into place. She already had a hand in Crane’s hair when she caught wind of Merle’s count. “TWELVE… THIRTEEN… FOURTEEN!”
Temporarily dismissing Maddy in favor of keeping the bout alive, Jacobs got up and rolled under the bottom rope only to slide right back to the floor. “Aww c’mon Jenny, don’t game it like that.” the official complained. “These people didn’t pay good money to watch you two on the outside.”
“You’re right, Merle.” the blonde agreed. “These people paid good money to see us fight and that’s what they’re going to get, no matter where it takes me. It’s not my fault Crane doesn’t have the guts to keep this in the ring.”
“F*ck you, ass-hat.” Maddy’d made it to all fours, or all three’s rather, as the palm of one hand was pressed tight to her aching forehead. “You’re the one who dragged me out here for NNNNNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Sympathetic groans from the ‘Mania crowd as Jenny laid a heavy kick straight across the penitent lovely’s shoulders. “Correction.” Jenny’s hands were in Maddy’s hair again and they wasted no time hauling the winded warrior to verticality. “I came out here to get away from your blatant grandstanding and even that wasn’t far enough. It’s not my fault you rolled your happy ass out here and discovered you couldn’t hack GUUUUUUHHH!”
Mads snapped her head backward to drive it into the blonde’s tummy, then added to the tally with a pair of Back Elbows that hit within a half second of one another. Quick to rise once Jenny was silenced, the Queen of the Facebuster Tribe reached over her right shoulder with both hands and snagged her archrival in a Three Quarters Facelock. Whether Maddy was thinking of a Cutter, a Shiranui or a Stunner would remain a topic of debate for months to come, as she wasn’t able to enact her offense before Jenny put both hands against the small of her back and ran the two of them straight for the solid steel post.
A rousing mixture of cheers and boos as Maddy BWONKED into the corner and somehow skidded around it, the redhead getting an arm around the joint for better support.
“Oooohhhhh, that sounded like it hurt.” Jacobs murmured in her rival’s ear. “But does it hurt as much as this?” The Innovator slipped her right arm under Crane’s right bicep to complete the Half Nelson, then cinched an arm around her waist to pull her away from the post. Though dazed from her collision with the steel, Maddy wasn’t so out of it that she failed to recognize the severity of her situation. She managed a single violent lunge for the apron but with Jenny glued to her back she didn’t make it even halfway before the NoCal Sensation dipped down and hauled her into the air. This was followed by a piercing shriek from Crane and a sympathetic moan from the crowd as Jenny dropped to one knee and deposited her redheaded burden across the bony joint.
HALF NELSON BACKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6YcE4akKXY
The Backbreaker bounced Maddy off her attacker’s knee and put her on the floor, a painful secondary landing that rolled her onto her stomach even though she wasn’t in the ring proper. Speaking of which, Merle’s count hit ‘SIXTEEN!’ right about the time Jenny hit the Backbreaker, which meant she had to dip under the bottom rope for a second time.
“What’re you doing. Jenny? the beleaguered referee asked of his fair-haired charge. “You don’t need to work like this!”
Jacobs paused just long enough to fix him with a level look. “Everything I’ve done is well within the confines of the rules, Merle. Warn me if you think I need it, otherwise shut your mouth and stay the hell out of my way.” Sliding out the way she’d come, the Innovator circled around to Crane’s ankles and rolled her onto her back. In firm control with an ankle in each hand, Jenny folded Maddy’s right shin across the pit of the redhead’s left knee. Maddy, who’d been trying to steady her breathing ever since the Backbreaker, sat up the instant Jacobs wedged her left leg under the blonde’s armpit.
“Get the hell off my legs, Jenny!” the redhead growled even as she slapped and pounded at her attacker’s shoulders. “You’re not gonna tie me up out herRWHOOOAAAANNNNNGGGHH!”
Maddy was partially right, Jenny didn’t actually flip her over for the Jacobs Ladder, she did however lift her into a near headstand that had Crane pawing at the floor in search of leverage. Alas there was none to be had and she could only hiss in frustration as the NoCal Sensation dragged her over to the BWAAAAAANG! Jenny lifted her foe off the floor in a half crunch, pivoted to the right and then swung back to the left to slam Mads into the steel barrier! Maddy groaned, tried to squirm free and again found herself bounced off the unforgiving steel. Forced to admit she could do nothing other than cover up, the Sultana of Slapstick wrapped her arms around her head and held on for dear life while the rampaging Innovator BWANGED her against the guardrail over and over and over again.
More than a little surprised by the near Vale-levels of ferocity displayed by the usually clinical blonde, Merle paused his count and didn’t say a word until some of the FAWNatics (mostly those with freshly bruised shins) yelled for his attention. Shaking off his surprise (if not his distress), the official cleared his throat and barked, “One warning, Jenny. Get it in the ring, NOW!”
Jacobs set the battered redhead down on the floor without need of further prompting. Her arms had been getting sore and she certainly wasn’t going to content herself with a count-out. On the other hand she didn’t much care for being told what to do, which explained why she muscled Crane off the mats for one final BWAAAANG against the still-thrumming barrier. “I HEARD you, Merle!” Jenny had her hands raised to make sure the squawking dope knew she was listening. “So just shut up long enough for me to get her back in the ring, ok?”
That got no response from the zebra, so Jenny collected her burden by trunks & tresses and peeled her off the floor. Nothing fancy when it came time to get Mads back in the squared circle, Jacobs simply charged the apron and slung her under the bottom rope like a sack of laundry. Battered and bruised but hardly insensate, the Princess of the Punchline added a little of her own momentum to make sure she made it a little bit beyond the center of the ring. A gap like that might not’ve saved her from someone like Domi Daly or Lily Burlingame, but she thought it kept her clear of Jacobs’s blast radi--“UNNNNNNNGGGHH!”
Having come to a stop on her stomach, Crane didn’t see the NorCal Sensation hop onto the apron and immediately vault to the top rope. Balanced atop it like it was the width of a sidewalk and not a tightrope, Jenny raised the Double J’s, then dipped her knees and sprang out into the aether, folding herself in half at the apex just to stretch out a heartbeat before she slammed down on the redhead’s vulnerable lower back.
“AAAHHHH FAAAAHHK!” Maddy’s usual good cheer was replaced with a grimace of anguish as she arched her back and put one hand to the point of impact. The pain was still quite fresh when Jacobs shot the Half Nelson, rolled her over and dropped down atop her chest for a Crossbody. Hooking the far leg while her other hand remained flat against the mat, Jenny pulled Maddy’s knee up to her chest while Merle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Happy Anarchist got a shoulder off the mat, earning herself a cheer from the crowd and a sharp smack on the tummy from Jenny. “You’re good Maddy, but you’re not ready for this level of competition yet.” Jacobs noted as she got to her feet.
Though she was the very picture of vulnerability at the moment, Crane still managed a great deal of steel for her reply. “I was good enough to make you tap out last time, Jenny.” she huffed. “That’s all I need to OH I DON’T THINK SO! LET THE HELL GO OF MY LEEEGGGGRRRRRAAAAAAHH!”
Set at the redhead’s feet, Jenny turned around, dropped into a crouch and made a claim on both of her foe’s ankles. Tucking them under her armpits, Jacobs stood up, locked her hands and slooooooooooowly turned around. In doing so she rolled Maddy onto her stomach and ultimately stepped across her prone frame. “You want me to let you go, Mads?” Jenny had sank to one knee, all the better to put even more torque on her rival’s lower back. “Then wrestle your way out. Or tap out. Either one works for me.”
INVERTED BOSTON CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah7TdtdSF70
Maddy didn’t bother to shout ‘no’ or even flip JJ the birds, indeed she only waggled a finger for Merle when her checked on her a few seconds later. Not to say that she was sinking into resignation, as nothing was further from the truth. In fact, the usually mouthy grappler had finally learned to steady her nerves in the most dire of situations and now rather than waste her energy on insults, jokes and the like, she honed in on the task and hand and-- appreciative buzz and impressed applause as Maddy pushed up on her palms and started walking, or rather, dragging, the both of them to the ropes.
More surprised by the crowd’s reaction to this resistance rather than the act itself, Jenny frowned, rose into a crouch and trailed along with the ponderously moving redhead. “You’re taking too much punishment, Maddy.” Jenny leaned forward on the Inverted Crab to better emphasize the point. “Should’ve been out by now. At this rate I won’t even need the Ladder to finish--”
“Cool story, Jenny.” Crane interrupted with more than a flash of her usual snark. “Tell it to me again when I’ve reached the rop--OH COME ON YOU CHEAP SKANK!” Maddy’s progress to the ropes was far quicker than Jacobs had anticipated, perhaps that explained the look of clear glee on her face when she straightened up and draaaaaaagged the other wrestler all the way back to start.
“Not cheap, baby. Jenny leaned down over her opponent’s back with the Inverted Crab still cinched on tight. “It’s called being a better wrestler. This’ll be over as soon as you admit that. For now, give me your hands.”
Maddy had no intention of doing so, instead she jabbed her elbows into the mat and resumed her thwarted attempt for the strands. More aware of the frustration in her gut than she’d care to admit, Jenny wedged the Sultana’s boots even tighter against her armpits, thus freeing both hands to SMACK at the redhead’s exposed flanks. “Hands, Maddy.” the Innovator demanded between slaps. “I can slap you all day, Crane. Don’t think I won’t. Give me those hands!”
Careful to keep her hands crossed tight against her chest even though it slowed her momentum to a crawl, Maddy shook a defiant ‘no’ and crept on inching toward freedom. “Yuuuuuuurrrrrggghhh…. you wanna beat me, JJ?” she rasped after several seconds had elapsed. “You’re gonna have to break me…. just like I broke youOOHHHAAAAAASSSSHHHYT YOU CRUEL SLUT!”
Madder and madder with each passing word, Jenny leaned forward, snagged Crane’s togs in both hands and sent them north with a wedgie so heartless it had most of the FAWNatics shifting uncomfortably in their seats. “Give me your hands and I’ll let go of your trunks, Mads.” Jacobs snarled. “I won’t ask again.”
Jaw clenched as she endured the galling punishment, Crane uttered a wild little laugh and answered, “Damn shame, that is! Because I could tell you no a thousand more times, EASSSSOOOOOOOOWWWW FAAAAAAAAAHHK! HAIR, MERLE! HAAAAAAAAAIIIR!”
Watching the match later, Mads would mute this particular moment and mutter ‘no shyt, Sherlock.’ For indeed there was no denying this was a hair-pull of the most emphatic variety. Tired of the redhead’s denials, Jacobs gave up on capturing Maddy’s hands and plunged both of hers into the other woman’s hair instead. Snatching as much as she could, Jenny took a deep breath and slowly muscled Crane off the mat in a Rocking Horse Crab that used the Pranksta’s follicles instead of her wrists! As creative as it was illegal, Jenny’s latest fusion only lasted ‘til the count of ‘FOUR!’ yet it was still more than enough to leave Maddy curled up in a ball while the FAWNatics cringed in sympathetic anguish.
Posted over the momentarily humbled grappler, Jacobs plucked some loose strands from her palms, then brushed them clean on the seat of her trunks. “Ready to call it, Maddy? Or do I have to teach you another lesson?”
“Thuuu…. there’s always more to learn, JJ.” Maddy grunted. “Why don’t you try to show me you’re as good as you think you NNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Jenny stomped the redhead’s ribs and helped herself to another double handful of hair when Crane tried to cover up. Forcing Mads to verticality in a series of tugs and yanks, the NorCal Sensation switched over to a Wristlock, stepped back and slung her victim into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Stalking after Crane to minimize the space she had to effect a counter or escape, Jenny leaned to the right and wrapped both arms around Maddy’s waist. Hands locking on nothing more than muscle memory, Jacobs tore the redhead from her moorings, whipped her around in a 270-degree spin and-- the Original Pranksta twisted loose of Jenny’s clutches and dropped to her feet directly in front of the surprised Innovator. Jenny reared back for a Haymaker but Crane was the tiniest bit faster, catching the startled grappler between the eyes with a High Knee delivered from a straight vertical leap.
LEAPING KNEE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_14Isym8OtQ
Jacobs stepped in a fencepost hole, caught her bearings and replied with another wild swipe, which Mads promptly thwarted by seizing her wrist in both hands. Gamely ignoring the hell in her lower back to dole out some punishment, Crane spun the captured limb in a circle that finished with her sidled up against Jenny’s right shoulder and hip. Pulling Jenny’s right arm snug across her own midsection, the Glad Bomber hooked her left leg over Jacobs’s right shin and palmed the back of the blonde’s head with her left hand. Maddy helped herself to a whole lot of hair, rocked back on her heels and dropped forward and down to PLANT Jenny’s forehead on the canvas with a huge Reverse Russian Leg Sweep! Jenny hit hard, sprawled over onto her back and just as quickly moved to her stomach to block any quick pin.
REVERSE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJdFxgHJxRw
Maddy wasn’t thinking about pins though, not after the NoCal Sensation had spent the last several minutes doing everything in her power to break the redhead’s back. “Put a whole lotta fresh kinks in my spine there, JJ.” she noted in the midst of getting to her feet. “Not gonna whine about it, this is a wrestling match after all. I am however, going to see those kinks and raise you some new dents in your skull.”
Jenny’s answer was to clamber to all fours, so Maddy stepped up behind her and laid claim to the blonde’s thighs. Pulling those strong legs up and off the mat, Crane knotted her hands against Jacobs’s tummy, then dipped her knees and lifted / swung the Californian up until her back was smudged against the redhead’s chest. Maddy didn’t let her think about it for long, indeed Jenny didn’t even get a chance to shake her head ‘no’ before the Glad Bomber halved the Waistlock and put that hand against the small of Jacobs’s back, all the better to THWHUMP her face, chest and tummy into the mat with a Sit-Out Wheelbarrow Facebuster.
SIT-OUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OAq8tTD5U
Crane had rolled this maneuver into a pinning predicament in the past and that’s what her fans called for now, however Maddy had different ideas. Seated comfortably between the sprawled gams of her adversary, the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe hunched forward and worked her arms around Jenny’s midsection. “Should probably work on the back of your head too.” Maddy muttered as she worked her way to boot leather. “Wouldn’t want you to look uneven, the lack of symmetry would offend me.”
Woozy and cranky after the pair of face drops, Jacobs kept one hand braced against the mat while the other worked at the clasp of Maddy’s fingers. “Yuuuuhhhh… you know what offends me, Crane? This stubborn idea that you’re actually going to wiNNWOOAAHHHNNNNNGGHHH!”
Mads yanked her off the mat like she was thinking about a second Facebuster, only she released the Waistlock at the halfway point, which sent Jenny’s legs swinging out into the void. In the heartbeat before gravity could claim her prize, Crane whipped around in a half circle and reached over her right shoulder to catch Jenny’s chin on the fly. Then she laid out, landing flat on her back to THAWHUNK the back of her rival’s skull to the mat courtesy of a Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker. Jacobs hit hard and whiplashed to a seat, both arms laced tight against her pounding noggin.
WHEELBARROW NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVO0laIQYjA
What little succor they might’ve provided was yanked away as soon as Crane crawled up behind her and wrenched the blonde’s left arm back in Chickenwing. All other anguishes forgot in her frenzy to avoid the FTW, Jenny kicked out both legs and reaaaaached with her free hand in hopes of getting to the strands before--NOPE! Maddy twisted the blonde around and leaned forward, pressing Jenny into an unpleasant crunch that put her forehead less than six inches from the canvas even as the Sultana wormed her right arm around the NorCal Sensation’s thro--”AAAARRRRGGGGHHH SHYT!”
Those dangerous hooks dropped away when Jacobs wedged her muzzle into the crook of the redhead’s elbow and chomped down on her bicep! “You cheap skank!” Maddy snarled as she filled her hands with the blonde’s sweat-damp hair. “Almost nine million moves on your f*cking list and you’ve gotta bite your way out?”
Forcing the other woman to stand after several sharp yanks, Crane spun the blonde around and planted a Toe Kick in her belly to double her over. A Front Facelock secured Jenny’s head and after that it was an easy thing to sling the Innovator’s near arm over her shoulders. The FAWNatics leapt to their feet as Maddy snagged a handful of waistband and they got downright rowdy when she hoisted Jenny off the canvas and barrel rolled through ‘OOOOOHHHH!’ Jacobites the world over voiced love for their heroine when she spun free of Maddy’s clutches and dropped to her feet directly in front of the Red Hook Jester.
CRAAACK! Jenny smacked the taste out of Crane’s mouth, grabbed hold of opposing top and jerked her into a Headbutt between the eyes. Tucking her head just enough to slip under Maddy’s right arm, Jacobs hooked her own right arm across the New Yorker’s chest and cupped the back of her neck. Her other hand flew to the rafters, thumb and forefinger already curled in that familiar sigil. “JENNY-CIDEEERRRRRRGGHHH!”
Maddy pounded her elbow into the side of the blonde’s head and when that didn’t end Jacobs’s grip she crooked that hand into a claw and raaaaaaaaaaked it across her eyes. Jenny stumbled away or at least started to, she’d only made it a few steps when Mads reached around the blonde’s noggin and twisted it sharply to one side. More than a little sore over having her finisher denied, the Princess of the Punchline dipped her knees and yanked Jenny off her feet even as she began to spin in a circle! Startled cries and flashbulbs all over the arena as Crane twirled her airborne adversary through one, two, three full rotations before dropping to a seat! Jenny’s forehead THWONKED off the thinly-sheathed plywood with sickening force, leaving her facedown and motionless on the mat until Crane shot a Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back. Scrambling around to her foe’s left side in the blink of an eye, Maddy hooked both legs and folded Jenny in half with a perfect Back Press that lasted through…
SPINNING CRAVATE FACEBUSTER @ 1:45
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBgtRGwevhc
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Cheers all ‘round as Jenny eased onto her side with the ref’s hand a mere whisper shy of ‘THREE!’
Crane pounded a palm against the canvas but didn’t bother to second guess the count. Instead she popped to her feet, raised one hand high overhead and slowly curled it into a fist. Jokesters and Jacobites cheered, then broke into a spirited rendition of the Jaws theme as Maddy stomped to the corner behind Jenny and climbed to the high rent district. As for the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds, she was propped up on one elbow while the other tried to rub the worst of the ache from her skull. Vaguely aware of the crowd making some noise that didn’t sound like their usual roar, Jacobs slowly clambered to verticality and-- her eyes popped open as her Facebuster-fogged brain noted two things simultaneously. The crowd was doing the damned Jaws song AND she couldn’t see Crane. Already bracing for a hateful Snark Attack, Jenny whipped around and dropped into a tumbling somersault. Perfect timing too because Maddy would’ve harpooned her left glute if she’d been a half-second slower.
Cursing as she stumbled through an awkward landing, Maddy turned, found the Innovator baring down on her and fired off a desperation Savate Kick. No dodging this time, Jenny took the redhead’s boot square in the jaw and though it didn’t knock her down it sure as hell slowed her roll to a crawl. Suddenly determined to level her rival with something from the high rent district, Mads wheeled around, raced to the opposite corner and vaulted onto the top rope in a single bound. She twisted around as the capacity crowd started to cheer, which meant she got an excellent view of Jenny leaving the canvas to take up a mount on the top rope as well.
The rubber-coated steel shivered violently, but redhead and blonde grabbed onto the other, which almost certainly spared them both from a nasty fall. Of course it also meant they were practically nose to nose and once balance was assured they halved their grips and started pounding away on her opponent’s pate. Simultaneously worried and thrilled to watch a hockey fight play out on what was essentially a pair of tight ropes, the FAWNatics cheered their favorite for the better part of ten seconds before the combatants wailed and the clench fell apart.
Maddy reeled backward to the very limits of balance, one hand pressed to her right eye while her other arm spun like a frantic windmill. Jenny actually did fall, but she did so into the ring and landed on her feet with only the slightest bit of backpedaling. Eyes narrowed, she ran her tongue over her bottom lip and tasted far more copper than she would’ve liked. Noting Crane’s impending recovery, Jacobs abruptly charged the corner a second time, but rather than come at it head-on, she hopped onto the middle rope directly to Maddy’s left. Grabbing hold of the Sultana’s shoulder the moment she touched down, Jacobs jumped from her first perch to the top rope on Crane’s left, then crouched down and took off yet again, this time in a flawless back-flip that just so happened to take Mads along for the ride.
SPRINGBOARD AVALANCHE JENNY-CIDE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uhgtns5wjU
The THA-WHAM of their landing was *almost* engulfed by the roar from the crowd, yet not even their enthusiasm could drown out the power of a Jenny-Cide delivered from the top rope. Bounced back onto her knees by the force of the landing, Jacobs put aside a very strong urge to clutch her ribs in favor of slinging a leg over Maddy’s fluttering chest. Damned near sitting on her opponent’s neck, the NorCal Sensation leaned forward, laid claim to the redhead’s right leg and cranked it back in a Half Matchbook while the ref tolled off…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Jenny tossed Maddy’s gam aside, bounded to her feet and saluted with a pair of J’s while the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… JENNY JACOBS!”
Damned glad to hear that at ‘Mania after what seemed like forever, the Innovator headed to the corner that’d decided the finish and mounted the second rope. “FEELS GOOD TO HEAR THAT AGAIN, DOESN’T IT?” Jacobs asked here redlining fans. “DON’T WORRY, YOU’RE GONNA BE HEARING IT A LOT MORE FROM NOW ON!” She took a deep breath, noticed a camera zooming in on her and smiled. When she spoke again her voice was much lower. “You thought my run with the Intercontinental Strap was impressive? Just wait until I get a shot at the World Title.”
Smiling more widely than ever, Jacobs dropped to the mat and almost walked right into the recently-vertical Maddy Crane. After a few seconds of tense silence, Jenny raised a hand and held it out. “That was a hell of a match, Maddy. You took me to the limit and I thank you for it.”
Crane opened her mouth for a moment, then snapped it shut. “You really think I’m going to shake your hand after you jammed a thumb in my eye, Jenny? I expected that sort of cheap shit from Dream, not you.”
Jenny bristled at the other woman’s tone. “See the blood running down my chin, Maddy? That’s from my bottom lip, which you split open with a damned Headbutt. IF I thumbed your eye, it was an accident and I apologize. But I don’t apologize for winning. Not here, not ever. Now are you going to shake my hand or are you going to bytch out on FAWN’s biggest stage?”
Maddy gnashed her teeth, rolled her shoulders and generally looked like she was going to punch the blonde in the mouth. Eventually she grabbed Jenny’s hand and gave it a strong squeeze. “I don’t need an apology, JJ. I need another match. The question is, will you give it to me?”
“I’ve beaten you twice, Maddy. Why should I do it again?” “Do I look beaten to you, baby?”
“One more time then. But don’t you dare say a word when I run up the score. Remember Maddy, you wanted this. Now get out of my ring.”
Maddy nodded once, shook the blonde’s hand and let Jenny pull aw--she yanked the NoCal Sensation so close their foreheads bumped. “Remember this moment when you’re the one asking ME for one more match, Jenny. Remember it and PRAY I show you more respect than you’ve shown me.” With that she tossed Jacobs’s hand away and stormed out of the ring, disappointment clear on her face, but head held high nonetheless.
Jenny watched her go, angry that Crane had managed to put a damper on her good mood, if only temporarily. “You’ll get your shot, Maddy.” she murmured. “And after you lose you can go back to snarking with idiots on-line. I’ll be up here winning titles and making history.”