Post by alyadmirer on Feb 16, 2016 2:52:18 GMT
The crowd, already at a boil, wasn’t about to be placed on the backburner, not when Bon Jovi’s Bad Medicine coursed through the arena’s sound system. Orlando’s great unwashed wanted to erupt to the ‘big hair music’ from the 80s pumping through the speakers, but they couldn’t also abide cheering for the naughty nurse they knew the music portended.
BAD MEDICINE@ 00:35
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOUtsybozjg
Through the curtains an athletic brunette glided, the less than helpful healthcare professional clearly from the sexiest hospital in all creation. The dark-haired grappler strode seductively to center stage, her fellow Sister of Mercy strangely absent, for tonight would be a one-woman operation as apparently Nurse Deborah had a shift elsewhere. Likewise, Dr. Blassenville and her renowned patient were also absent. No matter. With an extra-large syringe in one hand and a pair of latex surgical gloves in the other, the woman in white made her way down the ramp and aisle.
To say the woman’s attire was eye-catching would be an understatement. The striking beauty wore a stylized, fetishized version of a nurse’s uniform, namely white latex halter with short, short skirt, a flash of red occasionally seen from beneath, nylons fastened by garters leading to ankle boots. As the woman made her way to the ring, she slipped on the elbow-length ivory latex, the material similar to her skirt. She finished with white knee and elbow pads, both containing red crosses. The nurse also had a surgical mask, though it hung around her neck, perhaps put in place for a nasty procedure she hoped to perform later this evening. The public address spat to life as the woman circled the outside of the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen tonight’s next match is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit…from Parts and Surgical Suites unknown…standing five feet six inches tall and weighing in at one hundred and twenty-seven pounds…the nefarious nurse…the Sister of Mercy… KRISTIN MANNERS!"
KRISTIN MANNERS:
The alleged medical professional ignored the growing boos and threatened a few fans with her syringe, her point quickly made. Some of the bawdier FAWNatics turned their head, leaned over and coughed, wanting to be prodded by the raucous RN. Kristin countered with her best resting bytch face and strode up the steps, sliding through the ropes and into her operating room.
The Sister put an oddly disturbing smile in place, her “bedside manner” eerie yet seductive. After placing her syringe by the ring post, the nurse moved to the middle of the ring. Kristin stretched her latex gloves tight with an attention-grabbing snap on both sides then flexed one sheathed index finger toward the upper stage, bidding her opponent to face her scheduled appointment and, assuredly, a not-too-distant trip to the ER.
Once Bon Jovi faded away, the Announcer raised his mic and hesitated in anticipation of an interruption. When none came, he called, “And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Smiling Knight, this is MADDY CRANE!
Eager to witness some snarky vengeance, the FAWNatics turned to the stage as a reedy whistling came from the speakers. The sound was quickly joined by a chorus of voices and then augmented by the grinding guitars and smashing drums of Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’. Maddy appeared shortly thereafter, the redhead fireplug stepping through the curtain to take a spot on the center of the stage. Her trademark smirk conspicuous by its absence, Maddy pinched a bit of her black tee-shirt in both hands and pulled it forward to draw attention to the three words emblazoned across the front: SNARK & SNAP.
MADDY CRANE:
Shortly thereafter she peeled the garment off and tossed it over her shoulder before heading down the aisle. For her first official battle with the woman who’d cost her not one but two career changing victories against Lisa Dream, Maddy wore a black sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin red belts worn bandolier style. As mentioned previously her pads and boots were the same shiny red while the latter was emblazoned with @#$&*! in bold white strokes.
Speeding up as she closed on the ring, Maddy bounded on the apron and grabbed the top rope in both hands. She paused just long enough to sidplay the message stamped across her briefs: THIS GON‘ HURT. Then she vaulted over the strands and went straight to the center of the ring where she chested up on the wicked brunette.
Their battle might’ve been early in the card but that didn’t stop Maddy Crane and Kristin Manners from putting on a Main Event caliber stare-down. Merle the referee had already checked Manners’s boots and pads, he wanted to do the same to Crane, but couldn’t figure out a diplomatic (read: safe) way to get the redhead’s attention. “Maddy, I need to see your, uuummmmh, could you go to your corner so I can--”
“Just ring the bell, idiot.” Kristin snapped without looking at him. “This clown didn’t bring a tank to ringside, so there’s no chance of her cheating to win.”
Maddy didn’t take her eyes off the smirking brunette, though she did find an answer for the zebra. “Don’t worry, Merle. You can check me after the match is over. You won’t find any foreign objects, but you’ll probably find some of Kristin’s blood that I forgot to wipe off.”
Manners snorted. “Big talk from a chronic los--” Crane shoved her and Kristin shoved her right back and the match would’ve started right then and there if Merle hadn’t waded into the fray with arms stretched wide. “Easy ladies, easy! Kristin, go to your corner! Maddy, go to your corner so I can check your pads and boots!”
The Sister of Mercy did as she was told, albeit with obvious hesitation. Maddy did the same, but she’d only made it a few steps when Kristin taunted, “Walk away now, loser. No one would think any less of you for it. After all, comedy acts only rise so far.”
Crane answered without missing a beat. “Go lick a bedpan, you piece of shyt.”
The smile dropped away from Manners’s face. “What did you say, bytch?”
“I said why don’t you go toddle off and powder Lisa’s ass or pick up Celia’s dry cleaning. Everybody knows that’s the only reason you and the other Igor ever got called out of the Jung--”
Kristin blew past the official with talons raised at Maddy’s eyes but the Original Pranksta’ was ready and waiting. Dipping under her rival’s claws, Mads wheeled around on one heel and when Manners did the same she leapt off her plant foot and THWHACKED a perfect Crane Kick into the point of the Sister’s chin. There were some laughs of course, that move always got a reaction, but this time there was also a lot of groaning from those fans that noticed how Kristin’s head snapped back at a nasty angle. Still on her feet but clearly shaken, Manners backpedaled hard and might’ve tripped over her own feet if she hadn’t stumbled into the corner Maddy was supposed to occupy. Far too eager for vengeance to bother with her usual snark, Crane rushed in, leapt and THWHAPPED a high Forearm Smash against the side of Kristin’s head.
Manners jolted, stumbled forward and was shoved back against the buckles almost immediately. Angling one forearm across the brunette’s chest to keep her in place, Maddy leaned in close and whispered, “You better pray Merle’s at the top of his game, slut bag. Otherwise I’m going to RUIN you.” She hopped onto the second rope, filled one hand with Kristin’s hair and wrenched her head back sharply. Her other hand she curled into a fist, which was then shown to the FAWNatics. “What do you, the viewers at home think?”
They must’ve thought the same thing she did because they were quick to add their voices when she PWAAAKED the first shot down into her opponent’s forehead. ‘ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!’
Maddy paused, ran a hand through her hair and looked out at the crowd. Then she yanked Kristin’s head back that much farther and flipped the bird directly in front of her stunned face. There was no tenth punch, rather, Crane doubled down on the hair-hold and leapt back from her perch. Legs spread wide, she landed on her tush while Manners was THWHONKED down flat on her face. Maddy somersaulted clear of the wreckage, scrambled to her feet and hurried over just as Kristin was sitting up.
CORNER SIT-OUT FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq6revmN3sA
“Get your ass down!” Maddy shoved the brunette out flat, dropped atop her chest in a Crossbody and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
The Sister of Mercy shoved loose, sat up and stuffed a hand in her face, pie-facing the redhead on sheer instinct. “F*ck off you no talent joKEEERRRGHHH NOOOOOO!”
Crane circled around behind her adversary, snatched hold of her right arm and folded it up behind her back in a Hammerlock. Then she slipped her right arm through the slim triangle created by Manners’s forearm and bicep so that that hand was waiting right beside the nefarious nurse’s right ear. In the next instant Mads snaked her left arm around Kristin’s neck and locked her hands to complete the Crossface Chickenwing.
While that in and of itself was nothing to sneeze at, Manners’s panic stemmed from knowledge born of experience -- she knew damned well that Crane could finish this match in seconds if she was able to flip / bridge over her. Determined to avoid that humiliation at any cost, Kristin reached back with her free hand and snatched as much hair as she could manage. “Let. Go. BYTCH.” Manners demanded even while trying to butt-skid her way across the canvas.
Maddy shook her head ‘no’ even though it put an unpleasant kink in her neck. “Not a chance, Krissy. Betcha you let go first.” She jerked up on Kristin’s arm, putting even more pressure on the brunette’s elbow and shoulder. In that she looked to be correct, it wasn’t more than a few seconds later when Merle strode over and swatted Manners on the knee.
“Let go of her hair, Kristin.” the ref told her. “If you can’t get out just say the word and I’ll ring the WHOAH! He dove back a heartbeat before Manners would’ve drilled a smart little kick into his leg.
“Heh. Hear that, punk?” Mads was balanced on one knee, still working hard to get loose of Kristin’s grip so she could somersault over in her match-ending bridge. “Even the ref knows you’re a f*cking quitter. Just tap out so Lisa can take this beating in your plaCEEERRRGGGHHHH!”
Kristin stopped pulling Maddy’s hair so she could slip a few fingers on that hand into the redhead’s mouth for a savage fishhook. The Happy Anarchist gurgled with pain, but made no indication that she was waiting on Merle to start a count. Oh so willing to take the law into her own hands, Crane put even more torque on Manners’s shoulder and bit down on those squirming fingers. Kristin squealed, jerked her hand free and started drilling her elbow back into the redhead’s ribs. “GET OFF ME NOW, YOU BYYYIIIIEEEEEEERRRGGHHH!”
Maddy chomped down on Kristin’s right ear in an abrupt example of ‘what goes around, comes around.’ Now Merle was dealing with infractions from both ladies. “Maddy, stop biting! Kristin, stop pulling her hair! I mean it now! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Kristin relinquished and Maddy did too, at least with the gnawing. She still had the Chickenwing locked in tight and--”BREAK!” Manners never stopped squirming amidst all the ground-fighting and it paid off now when she hooked her ankles around the bottom rope. “Let me f*cking go, I’m in the goddamned rop--”
Maddy unlocked her hands, cupped the left under Kristin’s chin and pulled her head back so far she was looking up at the Queen of the Facebusters. “You aren’t in the ropes, Kristin.” Crane murmured. “You are IN. MY. HOUSE.” She disengaged entirely, SHOVED both hands against the back of her foe’s head and climbed to her feet.
Manners didn’t bother to complain about the post-break indignity, instead she stretched out on her side and slid under the bottom rope to the apron. Rising up on one knee, she hooked an arm over the middle strand and glared daggers at Maddy. “You’re dead, clown.” she said softly. “You don’t have to worry about Lisa anymore. I’m going to end you tonight.”
Maddy would’ve gone at her then and there if Merle hadn’t laid a restraining hand on her tummy. “Whenever you’re ready, Krissy.” she growled. “Take all the time you want because as soon as you get back in here I’m going to break your arm.”
Nurse Kristin gave the Sultana of Slapstick a good look at her right arm as she swung it up, the bicep catching in her left palm.
“Oooh, sign language,” Maddy remarked as Manners strolled around a ring post taking her sweet time with her return. Merle’s count continued to grow until Kristin dove in under the ropes only to roll back out and continue her promenade around the squared circle. The FAWNatics grew restless as did Crane, but the gorgeous brunette in her naughty nurse-inspired garb seemed anything but worried.
Stopping and leaning against the apron, she turned to berate the crowd, threatening to anesthetize the more unruly when she screeched in pain. Maddy, having slipped between the cables, sank a set of nails into Manners’ long dark locks and hauled the Sister of Mercy up to the canvas, Kristin’s face twisted in pain.
Back turned, reaching over her shoulders, Kristin wrapped her hands around the rear of Crane’s noggin and dove off the side. Luckily for the nurse, Maddy hotshotted away from the rubber-coated steel, Crane releasing her grip to grasp at her throat and staggering away in a sputtering stumble, before Manners had large chunks of her hair ripped from her head as she would have if Crane had held on.
Landing on her brand spanking new white New Balance tennies, the health care hottie taunted the assembled, knowing from the sound of Maddy’s ragged gagging her maneuver had worked. Manners spun and slid under the ropes. She hopped to her feet and strode after the redhead, Crane maintaining her balance and slowly turning in a wide arc back toward Kristin. The Happy Anarchist found the Sister ready and waiting with fists at the ready, delivering a left jab and a left jab and a left jab, Maddy’s head snapping back with every connection to her chin. With Crane wobbling, Kristin surged and sent a right forearm shiver into the redhead’s jaw that swung her in a 180 but still didn’t deck the stubborn blowhard. So Nurse Kristin took a few steps back and thrust forward, going low and into the back of Maddy’s left knee with a wicked Chopblock that sent Crane to the canvas, howling and clutching her throbbing joint.
The despicable Sister rose and played to the crowd, hovering over the downed Crane and giving a sensual shimmy of her flawless frame before reaching to corral the injured limb at the ankle. Exploiting her knowledge of anatomy to its fullest, Manners spun into a leg-twisting toe hold that put plenty of pressure on Maddy’s stem. Scissoring at the knee and wrenching at the ankle, Nurse Kristin demanded Maddy ask to be admitted to the Orthopedics ward immediately, even if Manners believed the Psychiatric ward a more appropriate destination. However, Crane grunted out a pained ‘no’ to an offer from Merle to give in.
Manners started to take another spin with Maddy’s leg in tow when the redhead got her opposite number up and split the nurse’s rear end with a boot to the behind. Kristin lost her grip and was sent lurching forward, skidding to a stop and turning with a look of lethality on her flawless features.
The Sultana scrambled to verticality as best she could but the balky knee made it a slow process and she only got there in time to have Nurse Kristin DRIVE a toe kick into her tummy, forcing the air from Maddy’s lungs as she doubled over with a deep grunt. The witch in white wrapped her left arm around the back of Maddy’s neck and scooped behind Crane’s aching left knee with the other.
The member of Lisa Dream’s medical team sent the cradled Crane up AND over in a crisp Suplex. Manners bridged, keeping the redhead’s shoulders stuck to the canvas fisherman-style for the…
FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3aHOL1QP6E
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
The Original Pranksta slopped to her side, not looking in the joking mood. Furious, the Sister of Mercy showed anything but, pounding a Double Axhandle into Crane’s navel. She hauled a reeling Maddy to her feet, the crowd growing increasingly concerned at the health care hottie’s string of success and it only increased when Manners tossed Maddy away with an Irish Whip, Crane rebounding out of the cables and straight into a BIG boot to the chin courtesy Nurse Manners’ NBs.
BIG BOOT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV9IZ_6kKNI
With Crane splayed on her back in front of her, Kristin lifted off with stockinged lower limbs extended in front of her and laid a serious Leg Drop across the Jestful Joker’s throat and chest. Crane spasmed from the impact before settling to the thinly-sheathed plywood in a spreadeagle. Manners left her supple stems across Crane’s frame and Merle picked up on the pin attempt a tick slow, dropping to the canvas and counting out the…
ONE…
TWO…
and Maddy kicked out from under.
Kristin rose and stared at the moron Merle and mocked an injection of some kind into his posterior to which Merle looked instantly uncomfortable.
“Stay awake you buffoon,” Manners advised. The official responded only insofar as to direct Manners back toward her target, conveniently removing the target from himself.
It worked well enough as Kristin sank both sets of digits into Maddy’s auburn locks and yanked the blathering bytch to her feet.
“Shutting your mouth was the best medicine of all, gasbag. That and depriving you of even getting to be in the same ring as Miss Dream.”
“Nurse,” Maddy growled, “you’re going to have to heal thyself.”
Crane shook loose of Manners’ grip and delivered a Toe Kick to Kristin’s gut. Or that was the idea. Instead, the quick hands of Manners intercepted, wrapping around the ankle of Crane’s “good” leg. Kristin had the redhead hopping as she drew the Sultana of Slapstick toward the ropes and buggywhipped the loudmouth through a wicked Dragon Screw that sent Maddy flying through the ropes and to the floor below, the crowd aghast at the naughty nurse continuing to force Crane to follow Kristin’s every prescription.
Manners stalked along the ropes for the first few seconds of the ref’s twenty count, using the lull to catch her breath and gauge just what sort of damage she’d done to the redhead’s leg. Maddy made it up by ‘FOUR!’ and Kristin had her answer, ‘not enough’. Slipping through the ropes behind her prey, the predatory brunette closed in fast and raaaaaaaaaaaaked her nails down Crane’s back.
“AAAAUUUGGGHH YOU BYTCH!” Mads cried out and lurched away, one hand pressed to her stinging back, the other wrapped around the middle rope for extra support.
“Where are you going, cutie?” Kristin prowled after her, a devilish smile on her lips. “I thought you were going to break my arm?”
“I changed my mind.” Crane huffed. “I’m gonna tear it off and beat you with NNNGGGHHHH!”
A vicious Soccer Kick to the pit of her right knee knocked Maddy into an ungainly spin that knocked her away from the ring and down onto all fours. A moment later Manners snatched a handful of dark red hair and hauled her to her knees. “One chance, poseur.” she cooed. “A one time offer from the benevolent perfection that is Lisa Dream herself. Crawl away up that aisle on your hands and knees and you’ll get to stand up the instant your pathetic ass crawls through the curtain. Take it… or leave your legs with OOFFFFFFHHH!”
Maddy punched her in the belly twice, then grabbed the brunette by the hips and pulled her into a THWHUMPING Headbutt flush on the navel. “No deal, Nurse Ratchet.” Crane grunted as she clambered to her feet. “You can tell that delusional bytch I’m coming for EERRRRGGGGHHH!”
Kristin straightened up and drove a sharp little kick into Maddy’s aching knee. She went to one knee or would’ve, if Manners hadn’t caught her at nape and waistband. “No count out for you, loser. You’re tapping out in the middle of that ring!” With that she wheeled around and slung the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe under the bottom ro--NO!
Crane braced one hand against the apron and grabbed the strand in the other to sweep her legs into the ring before dropping back to the floor, bad leg and all. Startled by the smooth transition, Manners reacted a split-second too late and got leveled with a huge Clothesline for her troubles. Kristin went down hard, the back of her head TWHUMPING against the thinly-padded floor.
BOOMERANG CLOTHESLINE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQb5RtG5CDo
Above her, Mads limped to a stomp and put some weight on her sore knee. “Damn that hurts… is what a whiner like Lisa would say.” Crane cracked to some ringside FAWNatics. A loud ‘SEVENTEEN!’ from Merle told her the count was getting dangerously high, so Maddy took Kristin by trunks and tresses, hauled her up and bundled her under the bottom rope. She followed onto the apron but didn’t re-enter the ring, choosing instead to head to the nearest corner. The climb to the top didn’t do wonders for her knee, yet that didn’t stop Crane from standing tall once she reached the top floor. Beneath her, Manners struggled to verticality and “OOOOOWWWWWW DAAMMIT!”
SNARK ATTACKl
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwvPKkD9kq4
Presented with the gift of her opponent’s back, Maddy leapt from her perch and PWAAAKED a straight punch directly into Kristin’s left buttock. The power of the Snark Attack tossed Manners into a short tumble, one that dropped her flat on her suddenly tingling tush. “You stupid, showboating bytch!” Kristin growled as she struggled to rise. “You’re going to pay for NGH!”
Crane helped herself to a double handful of hair and forced the Sister’s noggin between her thighs for a Standing Headscissors. The squeeze that followed was plenty painful, but it was burning sting of the wedgie that really got her attention. That, and Crane shouting, “HEY LISA, I’M PLAYING YOUR SONG!”
Eyes wide, yet unseen, Kristin tried to shake her immobilized head ‘no, no, no!’ “Don’t even think about it, Crane! That’s the sort of thing that’ll get you institutionalized for lifEEERRRGGHHH NOOOOOOOOO!”
Maddy was indeed playing Lisa’s song, a percussion heavy little ditty known around the FAWN Arena as the Bittersweet Symphony. There were no lyrics and the beat seemed to change every time, not that the improvised nature stopped the sold-out crowd from jamming along to every butt-blistering second. Having never truly appreciated this particular tune until she watched Manners’s buns grow from warm pink to fiery red, Maddy played for a full twenty seconds before finishing up with triple stereo cheek claps and a groping raaaaaaaaaaaaaake that had her brunette bongos wailing pitiably.
And much like any good rock star, Maddy wasn’t above smashing her instrument once the song was over. Wrapping her arms around Kristin’s waist, she hoisted the spanked Sister up Piledriver style, then pushed onto her toes and dropped forward and down to THWHUMP the trapped woman flat on her face, chest and tummy. Kneeling above her opponent’s head, Crane brushed some invisible dust off her hands, then hooked a Half Nelson and rolled Kristin onto her back. From there a quick float-over set her up Crossbody for the…
DIAMOND CLASH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMrCn4BgUA
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Manners might’ve been a sadist, but she was a tough sadist and she proved it by escaping Crane’s cover with half a second to spare. Maddy shook her head in irritation, but didn’t question the official about the count. It was clear Kristin still wanted to fight. The Princess of the Punchline wanted nothing more than to kill that desire stone dead, to leave Kristin on Lisa’s doorstep as nothing more than bawling, blubbering wreckage. To-- Crane grabbed Manners at shoulder and hip and rolled her onto her tummy. In the next instant she laid claim to Kristin’s left wrist and wrenched it up between her shoulders in a wince-inducing Hammerlock.
Growling out a ‘no!’ before the ref could ask his stupid question, Manners jammed her free hand into the mat and pushed up as best she could. “When are you going to learn, Crane?” she huffed. “You don’t break me. I break NNNNGGGGHH!”
Maddy shifted a knee to the base of the brunette’s neck and forced her forehead down flush against the canvas. “Now I understand why you and Lisa work so well together.” the redhead murmured. “Neither of you know when to shut your f*cking mouth.”
Halving her control on the Hammerlock, Crane got a surprised but pleased roar from the crowd when she undid the knot holding Kristin’s top! “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Manners’s tone was the only furious part of her retaliation, with Maddy controlling her arm and head there wasn’t much else she could do. “I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS, CRURRGGH!”
The Happy Anarchist pinned Kristin’s hand down with her other knee, thus leaving her hands free to re-tie the brunette’s top OVER her defenseless wrist, thus securing the Hammerlock with her own attire. Tight as material was, it wouldn’t hold Manners for long, of course in freeing herself she’d certainly snap the knot and leave herself stripped to the waist. Maddy didn’t make the situation any easier when she helped herself to a double handful of the nefarious nurse’s hair and BWOOONKED her forehead into the mat once, twice, three times. The head banging stilled Kristin’s resistance that much more, leaving Crane in relative peace as she dragged the brunette to boot-leather.
“I don’t know how many chicks have claimed they could beat me with one hand tied behind their back.” Maddy chided as she marched her burden toward the corner. “But you’re the first who’s gonna get a chance to prove it!” The words were barely out of her mouth when she charged forward and slung Manners between the top and middle rope to BWUUUNK her left shoulder into the unforgiving steel post! “C’mon Krissy.” Maddy taunted. “Now’s no time to slack. Performance evaluations are coming and you don’t want Lisa to go looking for another psychotic suck-up, do you?”
Kristin tumbled out of the corner to the apron outside the ropes and soon plopped to the floor below. Groaning, she rolled to her chest and slipped her arm free of the knot. Just as Crane had planned, Manners’ top flew wide in the back and tumbled halfway off the naughty nurse. But at least tucked in near the side of the ring, only a few lucky FAWNatics enjoyed the full effect of the nurse’s unveiling. Her shoulder throbbing from the impact with the steel, resetting her top and knotting was not only an embarrassing but painful process, but Nurse Kristin got it done.
Unfortunately, the time it took gave Crane the opportunity to vacate the ring and dropped to boot leather next to the slumped health care professional.
“Aww. What kind of show was that?” Maddy complained. “I’m sure you’ve shown more down in Orlando’s red light district on a slow Wednesday.”
Crane grabbed Manners by the scruff of the neck and a shoulder and hauled Kristin to her feet only to SLAM her face into the unforgiving mat. Kristin’s noggin snapped back and she stumbled away, falling into the steel barrier, her long dark locks cascading over her face as she sagged waist-first against the metal divider.
“I’m sorry,” a noticeably unrepentant Crane said as she approached from behind. Grabbing the back rim of Manners’s trunks, she LIFTED them with a terrible twisting rip, giving the woman in white a terrific wedgie that straightened Kristin up to her tiptoes in a hurry, her eyes wide and her lips in a tight ‘O’.
“Are you making sure you’re getting all of my messages for Lisa stuck in your memory?”
Looking at Kristin’s anguished features, it’s hard to think she could forget her current predicament anytime soon. The prankster released her grip and Kristin waddled away, plucking at the material wedged between her cheeks and other creases of her undercarriage.
It’s a gait not made for a clean getaway and the rascally redhead quickly tracked down Nurse Kristin. Manners could apparently feel the breath on her shoulder. She spun, as best she could, with an open hand at the ready to slap the taste out of Maddy’s mouth. But Crane caught the swing at the wrist, drew Kristin’s hand close, and took a toothy CHOMP out of her digits. Manners screamed bloody murder as Crane gnawed on her fingers. The Sister of Mercy shook them free and cradled the hand close, cursing.
Having determined she didn’t want any more of Maddy Crane tonight, Kristin headed around the ring toward the ramp, having decided to end tonight’s house call. But the Sultana of Slapstick had other ideas. Grabbing a shoulder and a waistband of the exiting Manners, Maddy gave the nurse a spin and ran her to ring, throwing her under the bottom rope and back into play. Crane quickly joined her foe just before the count would have left Maddy high and dry and the crowd very unhappy.
“There’s so much left for me to do,” Crane insisted, striding after Kristin, who’s on all fours, crawling to the opposite side of the squared circle. “So much more surgery I want to practice on you before performing on your patient.”
Maddy used her nails again, this time slipping them under the back of Manners’ top and Kristin quickly rose so the abused fabric stays in place.
“We really need to get you in a gown,” Maddy snarked. She played with the loose knot and perhaps got a bit distracted with her recreation as Kristin whirled and clocked her with a Forearm Shiver to the jaw that staggered the loudmouth.
“Nice,” Maddy said, her words somewhat warped as she massaged her mandible. “But hardlUHH”
Crane’s words ended when the Sister drove a foot into the pit of her left knee, sending the redhead to genuflect before the woman in white. A follow-up knee to the chin sent Crane sprawling to her back, mouth finally closed.
Kristin shifted her togs back into their proper positions and scooped up both of Crane’s legs at the ankles. Lifting the limbs, she spread them wide, even the raucous redhead unable to hide the concern when she saw Kristin raise a white New Balance above the juncture of her thighs.
“I suppose it’s now my turn to threaten you with grievous bodily harm if you AHHH.” Maddy’s remark was cut short, but not exactly as most had guessed. Instead of plowing her foot into Maddy’s kitty, Manners leapt into the air, holding her grips on the ankles for as long as she’s able while simultaneously shooting the treads of her tennies into the sides of Maddy’s knees and pushing outward as she and Maddy’s legs fell to the canvas. The ending was a serious set of splits that had Maddy yelping in a seated position, grasping at the groin muscles in her inner thighs. But the skillful practitioner wasn’t done. She widened her own legs, feet still pressing inside Maddy’s stems and forcing them wider, wider and wider until one points north to the other’s south, Crane howling.
The Sister finally relented, rolling into a reverse somersault that snapped her up to verticality. Maddy drew her legs carefully closer, but could do little when Manners collected the right and lifted it again. Kristin stepped over the limb and knotted it with the redhead’s opposite stem. With Maddy’s legs crossed in a familiar figure of four, the Sister showed no mercy whatsoever in spinning Crane to her chest and locking her legs around those of her foe, securing her Amputator.
AMPUTATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaD0v5o195Y
“I believe it’s time for you to admit your defeat,” Kristin shouted over Maddy’s mewls, the redhead ripping into her own auburn mane to keep herself from the temptation of tapping. “We’ll take care of the good Miss Dream,” Manners continued, “and you can limp your way down the road to the bottom of the card where you can make your little jokes in peace…and quiet.”
And yet on the topic of surrender, Maddy showed a recalcitrance that irritated Kristin to no end. Shaking her head ‘no’ when the zebra questioned her about capitulation, Crane pushed off her chest to her elbows and started to drag she and her adversary toward the salvation of the strands. Facing away from the stubborn idiot, Manners could do very little to halt the other woman’s progress, so she CRANKED forward on Maddy’s right ankle, the merciless Sister oh so willing to snap the redhead’s leg if it meant keeping her out of Lisa’s hair for good.
Grimly silent through all this punishment, the Princess of the Punchline slogged across the canvas until she was finally able to hook an arm over the bottom rope. “Not good enough, Krissy.” Crane huffed as Merle began his count. “Now why don’t you and this special needs Figure Four get back on the short NNNGGGGHH!”
Manners did as the official bade, at least as far as releasing the hold was concerned. But if Maddy had hoped for some reprieve for her aching knee, she was sorely disappointed. For Nurse Kristin seized control of her right ankle and draaaaaaaaaaagged her out into the middle of the ring. Once there she yanked Crane into a three quarters headstand and dropped to her knees to THWONK the vulnerable joint into the thinly-sheathed plywood. That finally got a scream from the redhead, a sound which chilled the FAWNatics and warmed Manners to the cockles of her little black heart.
Rising to her full height over the hobbled humorist, Kristin smoothed back her battle-frayed hair and sneered, “Crawl away, loser. Crawl away before they have to cart you awaNGH!”
Maddy lashed out with her right foot to fetch Manners a glancing blow on one shin. “What’s wrong, Krissy?” she chided. “Worried you don’t have the stomach to carry out Lisa’s ordOOOFFFHHH!”
Not about to take that from a chick with one good leg, Nurse Kristin leapt, pulled her knees to chest level and STAMPED her heels into the redhead’s tummy. Crane sat up straight, both arms clutched tight over her roiling, breathless midsection. She was still fighting for air when Manners twined a hand in her hair and hauled her upright. Maddy favored her right leg, leaning heavily on the left to keep the pressure at a minimum. That was fine with Kristin, as she dipped slightly and hooked her left arm behind the other woman’s right knee and muscled it off the canvas in an awkward standing cradle. Her other arm reached around the back of Maddy’s head so she could clasp her hands just beside the other woman’s head. Drawing the prankster in almost nose to nose, Manners hissed, “You really don’t want to know what I’m capable of, bytch.”
With that she sank down and popped her hips, twisting at the apex to THAWHAM Maddy spine-first into that mat with a perfect Capture Suplex. Landing astride her foe’s chest, Manners pulled her captured leg a bit closer and leaned into the redhead’s chest to keep her down for the…
CAPTURE SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqm2C4shEz8
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Kristin gave up the cover before ‘THREE!’ because Crane got a claw across her face and raaaaaaaked her eyes. “All right, that’s it.” Kristin plunged both hands into Maddy’s hair and jerked her to verticality. “You wanna be a cripple, Crane? Well your wish is my command.”
Transitioning to a Wristlock, she stepped away from Mads, dropped a hip and sent her winging to the far side of the ring with an Irish Whip. Progress slowed by an obvious hitch in her giddy-up, Maddy twisted around and BWUUUNGED into the buckles, whereupon she threw her head back and let out a sob that was only slightly exaggerated. Drawing a bead on the redhead’s ever-yammering mouth, Manners raced to the opposite corner, hopped onto the middle turnbuckle then kicked off and twisted around to ensure she had a full head of steam the instant she touched down. Speed picking up as she closed the distance, Kristin pulled back her right arm for a Lariat that never got off the blocks because Maddy whipped up her left leg and THWHACKED the nefarious nurse square in the chops!
Manners’s head snapped back hard and she probably would’ve wandered off in a drunken stupor if she hadn’t managed to grab hold of the top rope in one hand. She got some more support when Maddy helped herself to a double handful of hair, not that Manners wanted or needed that sort of assistance. But Maddy was inclined to help anyway, especially because it kept Kristin close while she clambered into a seat on the top turnbuckle. Manners had only *just* registered the hands in her hair when Crane jerked her forward into a trio of resounding turnbuckle on forehead collisions. Kristin groaned and released the ropes to push and shove at her attackers tummy, which was exactly what Maddy wanted. A fourth head-smash put the brunette’s defenses on blink, giving the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe all the time she needed to hop off and twist around before she dropped to her tush and THWHONKED Kristin’s mush into the mat via a Sit-Out Facebuster.
Somersaulting clear of the collision while the canvas was still trembling, Maddy fought to her feet and limped over to the sprawled, stunned expanse of Kristin Manners. Still no jokes from Maddy, her usually snarky features were oddly cool (almost expressionless, in fact) as she peeled the suffering Sister off the mat. Sliding her hands from hair to ears so the ref wouldn’t complain, Maddy gave him something else to complain about in the form of a single swift Kneelift she slotted between Kristin’s thighs. Eyes wide, jaw dropped, Manners rose onto her toes and started to collapse but found herself collected in a Front Facelock instead. Shrugging the underling’s near arm across her shoulders, the Sultana of Slapstick snatched a handful of waistband, then gathered her reserves and hoisted Kristin almost directly overhead. In that same instant the redhead twisted around in a single high-speed barrel roll and laid out on her tummy to THAWHAM Manners out full length as the latest victim of Insult 2 Injury.
INSULT 2 INJURY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcKqN_WD-kw
Kristin rolled onto her back and the FAWNatics roared for Maddy to go for the cover, but she did not. Focused on Nurse Manners with the same feverish intensity she’d brought to her matches with the Dream, Crane crawled around behind the brunette and dragged her to a seat. “Whuuuhhh…” Kristin groaned as she felt the other woman setting to work. “You’re dead. You’re so dead, you freAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!” Too late. Mads slapped the Hammerlock on Manners’s left arm, then slid her left hand up through the gap so she could clasp her right hand after that arm was snugged around the slumped battler’s throat. Soon as the knot was complete she flipped over Kristin, landing in a high bridge that forced the brunette’s head into the canvas while putting ungodly torque on her left elbow and shoulder. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHH FAAAHHHHHK!” Manners wailed, the sound of it muffled by the proximity of the mat.
Above her, Maddy balanced on her tip toes and jostled up ‘n down, up n’ down, the redhead using every bit of her weight to punish her rival’s arm. Careful to remain clear of the grounded grappler’s flailing right arm, Merle raised his voice to ask, “What do you say, Kristin? Do you need me to call for the bell?”
“NO!” Kristin barked. “SHUT UP AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID AAAAAAAAWWWW GAAAAAAHHHHHD! STAAAAAAAAHP! JUST STOP, I SUBMIT! I SUBMIT!”
The official pushed to his feet and called for the bell, which clanged promptly. Maddy didn’t release the hold though, she had one more message for Nurse Kristin. “TELL LISA IT’LL BE WORSE FOR HER!’ she roared. “TELL HER IT’LL BE WORSE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR ARM!”
“YES! YES! I’LL TELL HER! ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST LET GOOOOOOOOO!”
Maddy cranked on the hold one more time, then let loose and got to her feet, leaving Kristin to curl up around her demolished arm. Paying no heed to the cheers of the crowd or the attention of the ref, Crane stamped over to the corner where a cameraman was perched on the apron. “You see what I did there, Lisa? THAT’S what happens when I’m not facing four to one odds! When I get my hands on you again, and believe me, Lis, I WILL get my hands on you again, this is exactly how it’s going to play out. Limber up your shoulders, Dreamy. Because if you don’t I’ll snap your arms right the f*ck off.”
She pushed the camera aside, stepped through the ropes and dropped to the floor without another word. The win was nice, but a real celebration would have to wait until Lisa Dream was on the mat, sobbing her surrender in Kristin’s place.
BAD MEDICINE@ 00:35
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOUtsybozjg
Through the curtains an athletic brunette glided, the less than helpful healthcare professional clearly from the sexiest hospital in all creation. The dark-haired grappler strode seductively to center stage, her fellow Sister of Mercy strangely absent, for tonight would be a one-woman operation as apparently Nurse Deborah had a shift elsewhere. Likewise, Dr. Blassenville and her renowned patient were also absent. No matter. With an extra-large syringe in one hand and a pair of latex surgical gloves in the other, the woman in white made her way down the ramp and aisle.
To say the woman’s attire was eye-catching would be an understatement. The striking beauty wore a stylized, fetishized version of a nurse’s uniform, namely white latex halter with short, short skirt, a flash of red occasionally seen from beneath, nylons fastened by garters leading to ankle boots. As the woman made her way to the ring, she slipped on the elbow-length ivory latex, the material similar to her skirt. She finished with white knee and elbow pads, both containing red crosses. The nurse also had a surgical mask, though it hung around her neck, perhaps put in place for a nasty procedure she hoped to perform later this evening. The public address spat to life as the woman circled the outside of the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen tonight’s next match is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit…from Parts and Surgical Suites unknown…standing five feet six inches tall and weighing in at one hundred and twenty-seven pounds…the nefarious nurse…the Sister of Mercy… KRISTIN MANNERS!"
KRISTIN MANNERS:
The alleged medical professional ignored the growing boos and threatened a few fans with her syringe, her point quickly made. Some of the bawdier FAWNatics turned their head, leaned over and coughed, wanting to be prodded by the raucous RN. Kristin countered with her best resting bytch face and strode up the steps, sliding through the ropes and into her operating room.
The Sister put an oddly disturbing smile in place, her “bedside manner” eerie yet seductive. After placing her syringe by the ring post, the nurse moved to the middle of the ring. Kristin stretched her latex gloves tight with an attention-grabbing snap on both sides then flexed one sheathed index finger toward the upper stage, bidding her opponent to face her scheduled appointment and, assuredly, a not-too-distant trip to the ER.
Once Bon Jovi faded away, the Announcer raised his mic and hesitated in anticipation of an interruption. When none came, he called, “And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Smiling Knight, this is MADDY CRANE!
Eager to witness some snarky vengeance, the FAWNatics turned to the stage as a reedy whistling came from the speakers. The sound was quickly joined by a chorus of voices and then augmented by the grinding guitars and smashing drums of Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’. Maddy appeared shortly thereafter, the redhead fireplug stepping through the curtain to take a spot on the center of the stage. Her trademark smirk conspicuous by its absence, Maddy pinched a bit of her black tee-shirt in both hands and pulled it forward to draw attention to the three words emblazoned across the front: SNARK & SNAP.
MADDY CRANE:
Shortly thereafter she peeled the garment off and tossed it over her shoulder before heading down the aisle. For her first official battle with the woman who’d cost her not one but two career changing victories against Lisa Dream, Maddy wore a black sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin red belts worn bandolier style. As mentioned previously her pads and boots were the same shiny red while the latter was emblazoned with @#$&*! in bold white strokes.
Speeding up as she closed on the ring, Maddy bounded on the apron and grabbed the top rope in both hands. She paused just long enough to sidplay the message stamped across her briefs: THIS GON‘ HURT. Then she vaulted over the strands and went straight to the center of the ring where she chested up on the wicked brunette.
Their battle might’ve been early in the card but that didn’t stop Maddy Crane and Kristin Manners from putting on a Main Event caliber stare-down. Merle the referee had already checked Manners’s boots and pads, he wanted to do the same to Crane, but couldn’t figure out a diplomatic (read: safe) way to get the redhead’s attention. “Maddy, I need to see your, uuummmmh, could you go to your corner so I can--”
“Just ring the bell, idiot.” Kristin snapped without looking at him. “This clown didn’t bring a tank to ringside, so there’s no chance of her cheating to win.”
Maddy didn’t take her eyes off the smirking brunette, though she did find an answer for the zebra. “Don’t worry, Merle. You can check me after the match is over. You won’t find any foreign objects, but you’ll probably find some of Kristin’s blood that I forgot to wipe off.”
Manners snorted. “Big talk from a chronic los--” Crane shoved her and Kristin shoved her right back and the match would’ve started right then and there if Merle hadn’t waded into the fray with arms stretched wide. “Easy ladies, easy! Kristin, go to your corner! Maddy, go to your corner so I can check your pads and boots!”
The Sister of Mercy did as she was told, albeit with obvious hesitation. Maddy did the same, but she’d only made it a few steps when Kristin taunted, “Walk away now, loser. No one would think any less of you for it. After all, comedy acts only rise so far.”
Crane answered without missing a beat. “Go lick a bedpan, you piece of shyt.”
The smile dropped away from Manners’s face. “What did you say, bytch?”
“I said why don’t you go toddle off and powder Lisa’s ass or pick up Celia’s dry cleaning. Everybody knows that’s the only reason you and the other Igor ever got called out of the Jung--”
Kristin blew past the official with talons raised at Maddy’s eyes but the Original Pranksta’ was ready and waiting. Dipping under her rival’s claws, Mads wheeled around on one heel and when Manners did the same she leapt off her plant foot and THWHACKED a perfect Crane Kick into the point of the Sister’s chin. There were some laughs of course, that move always got a reaction, but this time there was also a lot of groaning from those fans that noticed how Kristin’s head snapped back at a nasty angle. Still on her feet but clearly shaken, Manners backpedaled hard and might’ve tripped over her own feet if she hadn’t stumbled into the corner Maddy was supposed to occupy. Far too eager for vengeance to bother with her usual snark, Crane rushed in, leapt and THWHAPPED a high Forearm Smash against the side of Kristin’s head.
Manners jolted, stumbled forward and was shoved back against the buckles almost immediately. Angling one forearm across the brunette’s chest to keep her in place, Maddy leaned in close and whispered, “You better pray Merle’s at the top of his game, slut bag. Otherwise I’m going to RUIN you.” She hopped onto the second rope, filled one hand with Kristin’s hair and wrenched her head back sharply. Her other hand she curled into a fist, which was then shown to the FAWNatics. “What do you, the viewers at home think?”
They must’ve thought the same thing she did because they were quick to add their voices when she PWAAAKED the first shot down into her opponent’s forehead. ‘ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!’
Maddy paused, ran a hand through her hair and looked out at the crowd. Then she yanked Kristin’s head back that much farther and flipped the bird directly in front of her stunned face. There was no tenth punch, rather, Crane doubled down on the hair-hold and leapt back from her perch. Legs spread wide, she landed on her tush while Manners was THWHONKED down flat on her face. Maddy somersaulted clear of the wreckage, scrambled to her feet and hurried over just as Kristin was sitting up.
CORNER SIT-OUT FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eq6revmN3sA
“Get your ass down!” Maddy shoved the brunette out flat, dropped atop her chest in a Crossbody and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
The Sister of Mercy shoved loose, sat up and stuffed a hand in her face, pie-facing the redhead on sheer instinct. “F*ck off you no talent joKEEERRRGHHH NOOOOOO!”
Crane circled around behind her adversary, snatched hold of her right arm and folded it up behind her back in a Hammerlock. Then she slipped her right arm through the slim triangle created by Manners’s forearm and bicep so that that hand was waiting right beside the nefarious nurse’s right ear. In the next instant Mads snaked her left arm around Kristin’s neck and locked her hands to complete the Crossface Chickenwing.
While that in and of itself was nothing to sneeze at, Manners’s panic stemmed from knowledge born of experience -- she knew damned well that Crane could finish this match in seconds if she was able to flip / bridge over her. Determined to avoid that humiliation at any cost, Kristin reached back with her free hand and snatched as much hair as she could manage. “Let. Go. BYTCH.” Manners demanded even while trying to butt-skid her way across the canvas.
Maddy shook her head ‘no’ even though it put an unpleasant kink in her neck. “Not a chance, Krissy. Betcha you let go first.” She jerked up on Kristin’s arm, putting even more pressure on the brunette’s elbow and shoulder. In that she looked to be correct, it wasn’t more than a few seconds later when Merle strode over and swatted Manners on the knee.
“Let go of her hair, Kristin.” the ref told her. “If you can’t get out just say the word and I’ll ring the WHOAH! He dove back a heartbeat before Manners would’ve drilled a smart little kick into his leg.
“Heh. Hear that, punk?” Mads was balanced on one knee, still working hard to get loose of Kristin’s grip so she could somersault over in her match-ending bridge. “Even the ref knows you’re a f*cking quitter. Just tap out so Lisa can take this beating in your plaCEEERRRGGGHHHH!”
Kristin stopped pulling Maddy’s hair so she could slip a few fingers on that hand into the redhead’s mouth for a savage fishhook. The Happy Anarchist gurgled with pain, but made no indication that she was waiting on Merle to start a count. Oh so willing to take the law into her own hands, Crane put even more torque on Manners’s shoulder and bit down on those squirming fingers. Kristin squealed, jerked her hand free and started drilling her elbow back into the redhead’s ribs. “GET OFF ME NOW, YOU BYYYIIIIEEEEEEERRRGGHHH!”
Maddy chomped down on Kristin’s right ear in an abrupt example of ‘what goes around, comes around.’ Now Merle was dealing with infractions from both ladies. “Maddy, stop biting! Kristin, stop pulling her hair! I mean it now! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Kristin relinquished and Maddy did too, at least with the gnawing. She still had the Chickenwing locked in tight and--”BREAK!” Manners never stopped squirming amidst all the ground-fighting and it paid off now when she hooked her ankles around the bottom rope. “Let me f*cking go, I’m in the goddamned rop--”
Maddy unlocked her hands, cupped the left under Kristin’s chin and pulled her head back so far she was looking up at the Queen of the Facebusters. “You aren’t in the ropes, Kristin.” Crane murmured. “You are IN. MY. HOUSE.” She disengaged entirely, SHOVED both hands against the back of her foe’s head and climbed to her feet.
Manners didn’t bother to complain about the post-break indignity, instead she stretched out on her side and slid under the bottom rope to the apron. Rising up on one knee, she hooked an arm over the middle strand and glared daggers at Maddy. “You’re dead, clown.” she said softly. “You don’t have to worry about Lisa anymore. I’m going to end you tonight.”
Maddy would’ve gone at her then and there if Merle hadn’t laid a restraining hand on her tummy. “Whenever you’re ready, Krissy.” she growled. “Take all the time you want because as soon as you get back in here I’m going to break your arm.”
Nurse Kristin gave the Sultana of Slapstick a good look at her right arm as she swung it up, the bicep catching in her left palm.
“Oooh, sign language,” Maddy remarked as Manners strolled around a ring post taking her sweet time with her return. Merle’s count continued to grow until Kristin dove in under the ropes only to roll back out and continue her promenade around the squared circle. The FAWNatics grew restless as did Crane, but the gorgeous brunette in her naughty nurse-inspired garb seemed anything but worried.
Stopping and leaning against the apron, she turned to berate the crowd, threatening to anesthetize the more unruly when she screeched in pain. Maddy, having slipped between the cables, sank a set of nails into Manners’ long dark locks and hauled the Sister of Mercy up to the canvas, Kristin’s face twisted in pain.
Back turned, reaching over her shoulders, Kristin wrapped her hands around the rear of Crane’s noggin and dove off the side. Luckily for the nurse, Maddy hotshotted away from the rubber-coated steel, Crane releasing her grip to grasp at her throat and staggering away in a sputtering stumble, before Manners had large chunks of her hair ripped from her head as she would have if Crane had held on.
Landing on her brand spanking new white New Balance tennies, the health care hottie taunted the assembled, knowing from the sound of Maddy’s ragged gagging her maneuver had worked. Manners spun and slid under the ropes. She hopped to her feet and strode after the redhead, Crane maintaining her balance and slowly turning in a wide arc back toward Kristin. The Happy Anarchist found the Sister ready and waiting with fists at the ready, delivering a left jab and a left jab and a left jab, Maddy’s head snapping back with every connection to her chin. With Crane wobbling, Kristin surged and sent a right forearm shiver into the redhead’s jaw that swung her in a 180 but still didn’t deck the stubborn blowhard. So Nurse Kristin took a few steps back and thrust forward, going low and into the back of Maddy’s left knee with a wicked Chopblock that sent Crane to the canvas, howling and clutching her throbbing joint.
The despicable Sister rose and played to the crowd, hovering over the downed Crane and giving a sensual shimmy of her flawless frame before reaching to corral the injured limb at the ankle. Exploiting her knowledge of anatomy to its fullest, Manners spun into a leg-twisting toe hold that put plenty of pressure on Maddy’s stem. Scissoring at the knee and wrenching at the ankle, Nurse Kristin demanded Maddy ask to be admitted to the Orthopedics ward immediately, even if Manners believed the Psychiatric ward a more appropriate destination. However, Crane grunted out a pained ‘no’ to an offer from Merle to give in.
Manners started to take another spin with Maddy’s leg in tow when the redhead got her opposite number up and split the nurse’s rear end with a boot to the behind. Kristin lost her grip and was sent lurching forward, skidding to a stop and turning with a look of lethality on her flawless features.
The Sultana scrambled to verticality as best she could but the balky knee made it a slow process and she only got there in time to have Nurse Kristin DRIVE a toe kick into her tummy, forcing the air from Maddy’s lungs as she doubled over with a deep grunt. The witch in white wrapped her left arm around the back of Maddy’s neck and scooped behind Crane’s aching left knee with the other.
The member of Lisa Dream’s medical team sent the cradled Crane up AND over in a crisp Suplex. Manners bridged, keeping the redhead’s shoulders stuck to the canvas fisherman-style for the…
FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3aHOL1QP6E
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
The Original Pranksta slopped to her side, not looking in the joking mood. Furious, the Sister of Mercy showed anything but, pounding a Double Axhandle into Crane’s navel. She hauled a reeling Maddy to her feet, the crowd growing increasingly concerned at the health care hottie’s string of success and it only increased when Manners tossed Maddy away with an Irish Whip, Crane rebounding out of the cables and straight into a BIG boot to the chin courtesy Nurse Manners’ NBs.
BIG BOOT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vV9IZ_6kKNI
With Crane splayed on her back in front of her, Kristin lifted off with stockinged lower limbs extended in front of her and laid a serious Leg Drop across the Jestful Joker’s throat and chest. Crane spasmed from the impact before settling to the thinly-sheathed plywood in a spreadeagle. Manners left her supple stems across Crane’s frame and Merle picked up on the pin attempt a tick slow, dropping to the canvas and counting out the…
ONE…
TWO…
and Maddy kicked out from under.
Kristin rose and stared at the moron Merle and mocked an injection of some kind into his posterior to which Merle looked instantly uncomfortable.
“Stay awake you buffoon,” Manners advised. The official responded only insofar as to direct Manners back toward her target, conveniently removing the target from himself.
It worked well enough as Kristin sank both sets of digits into Maddy’s auburn locks and yanked the blathering bytch to her feet.
“Shutting your mouth was the best medicine of all, gasbag. That and depriving you of even getting to be in the same ring as Miss Dream.”
“Nurse,” Maddy growled, “you’re going to have to heal thyself.”
Crane shook loose of Manners’ grip and delivered a Toe Kick to Kristin’s gut. Or that was the idea. Instead, the quick hands of Manners intercepted, wrapping around the ankle of Crane’s “good” leg. Kristin had the redhead hopping as she drew the Sultana of Slapstick toward the ropes and buggywhipped the loudmouth through a wicked Dragon Screw that sent Maddy flying through the ropes and to the floor below, the crowd aghast at the naughty nurse continuing to force Crane to follow Kristin’s every prescription.
Manners stalked along the ropes for the first few seconds of the ref’s twenty count, using the lull to catch her breath and gauge just what sort of damage she’d done to the redhead’s leg. Maddy made it up by ‘FOUR!’ and Kristin had her answer, ‘not enough’. Slipping through the ropes behind her prey, the predatory brunette closed in fast and raaaaaaaaaaaaked her nails down Crane’s back.
“AAAAUUUGGGHH YOU BYTCH!” Mads cried out and lurched away, one hand pressed to her stinging back, the other wrapped around the middle rope for extra support.
“Where are you going, cutie?” Kristin prowled after her, a devilish smile on her lips. “I thought you were going to break my arm?”
“I changed my mind.” Crane huffed. “I’m gonna tear it off and beat you with NNNGGGHHHH!”
A vicious Soccer Kick to the pit of her right knee knocked Maddy into an ungainly spin that knocked her away from the ring and down onto all fours. A moment later Manners snatched a handful of dark red hair and hauled her to her knees. “One chance, poseur.” she cooed. “A one time offer from the benevolent perfection that is Lisa Dream herself. Crawl away up that aisle on your hands and knees and you’ll get to stand up the instant your pathetic ass crawls through the curtain. Take it… or leave your legs with OOFFFFFFHHH!”
Maddy punched her in the belly twice, then grabbed the brunette by the hips and pulled her into a THWHUMPING Headbutt flush on the navel. “No deal, Nurse Ratchet.” Crane grunted as she clambered to her feet. “You can tell that delusional bytch I’m coming for EERRRRGGGGHHH!”
Kristin straightened up and drove a sharp little kick into Maddy’s aching knee. She went to one knee or would’ve, if Manners hadn’t caught her at nape and waistband. “No count out for you, loser. You’re tapping out in the middle of that ring!” With that she wheeled around and slung the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe under the bottom ro--NO!
Crane braced one hand against the apron and grabbed the strand in the other to sweep her legs into the ring before dropping back to the floor, bad leg and all. Startled by the smooth transition, Manners reacted a split-second too late and got leveled with a huge Clothesline for her troubles. Kristin went down hard, the back of her head TWHUMPING against the thinly-padded floor.
BOOMERANG CLOTHESLINE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQb5RtG5CDo
Above her, Mads limped to a stomp and put some weight on her sore knee. “Damn that hurts… is what a whiner like Lisa would say.” Crane cracked to some ringside FAWNatics. A loud ‘SEVENTEEN!’ from Merle told her the count was getting dangerously high, so Maddy took Kristin by trunks and tresses, hauled her up and bundled her under the bottom rope. She followed onto the apron but didn’t re-enter the ring, choosing instead to head to the nearest corner. The climb to the top didn’t do wonders for her knee, yet that didn’t stop Crane from standing tall once she reached the top floor. Beneath her, Manners struggled to verticality and “OOOOOWWWWWW DAAMMIT!”
SNARK ATTACKl
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwvPKkD9kq4
Presented with the gift of her opponent’s back, Maddy leapt from her perch and PWAAAKED a straight punch directly into Kristin’s left buttock. The power of the Snark Attack tossed Manners into a short tumble, one that dropped her flat on her suddenly tingling tush. “You stupid, showboating bytch!” Kristin growled as she struggled to rise. “You’re going to pay for NGH!”
Crane helped herself to a double handful of hair and forced the Sister’s noggin between her thighs for a Standing Headscissors. The squeeze that followed was plenty painful, but it was burning sting of the wedgie that really got her attention. That, and Crane shouting, “HEY LISA, I’M PLAYING YOUR SONG!”
Eyes wide, yet unseen, Kristin tried to shake her immobilized head ‘no, no, no!’ “Don’t even think about it, Crane! That’s the sort of thing that’ll get you institutionalized for lifEEERRRGGHHH NOOOOOOOOO!”
Maddy was indeed playing Lisa’s song, a percussion heavy little ditty known around the FAWN Arena as the Bittersweet Symphony. There were no lyrics and the beat seemed to change every time, not that the improvised nature stopped the sold-out crowd from jamming along to every butt-blistering second. Having never truly appreciated this particular tune until she watched Manners’s buns grow from warm pink to fiery red, Maddy played for a full twenty seconds before finishing up with triple stereo cheek claps and a groping raaaaaaaaaaaaaake that had her brunette bongos wailing pitiably.
And much like any good rock star, Maddy wasn’t above smashing her instrument once the song was over. Wrapping her arms around Kristin’s waist, she hoisted the spanked Sister up Piledriver style, then pushed onto her toes and dropped forward and down to THWHUMP the trapped woman flat on her face, chest and tummy. Kneeling above her opponent’s head, Crane brushed some invisible dust off her hands, then hooked a Half Nelson and rolled Kristin onto her back. From there a quick float-over set her up Crossbody for the…
DIAMOND CLASH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMrCn4BgUA
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Manners might’ve been a sadist, but she was a tough sadist and she proved it by escaping Crane’s cover with half a second to spare. Maddy shook her head in irritation, but didn’t question the official about the count. It was clear Kristin still wanted to fight. The Princess of the Punchline wanted nothing more than to kill that desire stone dead, to leave Kristin on Lisa’s doorstep as nothing more than bawling, blubbering wreckage. To-- Crane grabbed Manners at shoulder and hip and rolled her onto her tummy. In the next instant she laid claim to Kristin’s left wrist and wrenched it up between her shoulders in a wince-inducing Hammerlock.
Growling out a ‘no!’ before the ref could ask his stupid question, Manners jammed her free hand into the mat and pushed up as best she could. “When are you going to learn, Crane?” she huffed. “You don’t break me. I break NNNNGGGGHH!”
Maddy shifted a knee to the base of the brunette’s neck and forced her forehead down flush against the canvas. “Now I understand why you and Lisa work so well together.” the redhead murmured. “Neither of you know when to shut your f*cking mouth.”
Halving her control on the Hammerlock, Crane got a surprised but pleased roar from the crowd when she undid the knot holding Kristin’s top! “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Manners’s tone was the only furious part of her retaliation, with Maddy controlling her arm and head there wasn’t much else she could do. “I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS, CRURRGGH!”
The Happy Anarchist pinned Kristin’s hand down with her other knee, thus leaving her hands free to re-tie the brunette’s top OVER her defenseless wrist, thus securing the Hammerlock with her own attire. Tight as material was, it wouldn’t hold Manners for long, of course in freeing herself she’d certainly snap the knot and leave herself stripped to the waist. Maddy didn’t make the situation any easier when she helped herself to a double handful of the nefarious nurse’s hair and BWOOONKED her forehead into the mat once, twice, three times. The head banging stilled Kristin’s resistance that much more, leaving Crane in relative peace as she dragged the brunette to boot-leather.
“I don’t know how many chicks have claimed they could beat me with one hand tied behind their back.” Maddy chided as she marched her burden toward the corner. “But you’re the first who’s gonna get a chance to prove it!” The words were barely out of her mouth when she charged forward and slung Manners between the top and middle rope to BWUUUNK her left shoulder into the unforgiving steel post! “C’mon Krissy.” Maddy taunted. “Now’s no time to slack. Performance evaluations are coming and you don’t want Lisa to go looking for another psychotic suck-up, do you?”
Kristin tumbled out of the corner to the apron outside the ropes and soon plopped to the floor below. Groaning, she rolled to her chest and slipped her arm free of the knot. Just as Crane had planned, Manners’ top flew wide in the back and tumbled halfway off the naughty nurse. But at least tucked in near the side of the ring, only a few lucky FAWNatics enjoyed the full effect of the nurse’s unveiling. Her shoulder throbbing from the impact with the steel, resetting her top and knotting was not only an embarrassing but painful process, but Nurse Kristin got it done.
Unfortunately, the time it took gave Crane the opportunity to vacate the ring and dropped to boot leather next to the slumped health care professional.
“Aww. What kind of show was that?” Maddy complained. “I’m sure you’ve shown more down in Orlando’s red light district on a slow Wednesday.”
Crane grabbed Manners by the scruff of the neck and a shoulder and hauled Kristin to her feet only to SLAM her face into the unforgiving mat. Kristin’s noggin snapped back and she stumbled away, falling into the steel barrier, her long dark locks cascading over her face as she sagged waist-first against the metal divider.
“I’m sorry,” a noticeably unrepentant Crane said as she approached from behind. Grabbing the back rim of Manners’s trunks, she LIFTED them with a terrible twisting rip, giving the woman in white a terrific wedgie that straightened Kristin up to her tiptoes in a hurry, her eyes wide and her lips in a tight ‘O’.
“Are you making sure you’re getting all of my messages for Lisa stuck in your memory?”
Looking at Kristin’s anguished features, it’s hard to think she could forget her current predicament anytime soon. The prankster released her grip and Kristin waddled away, plucking at the material wedged between her cheeks and other creases of her undercarriage.
It’s a gait not made for a clean getaway and the rascally redhead quickly tracked down Nurse Kristin. Manners could apparently feel the breath on her shoulder. She spun, as best she could, with an open hand at the ready to slap the taste out of Maddy’s mouth. But Crane caught the swing at the wrist, drew Kristin’s hand close, and took a toothy CHOMP out of her digits. Manners screamed bloody murder as Crane gnawed on her fingers. The Sister of Mercy shook them free and cradled the hand close, cursing.
Having determined she didn’t want any more of Maddy Crane tonight, Kristin headed around the ring toward the ramp, having decided to end tonight’s house call. But the Sultana of Slapstick had other ideas. Grabbing a shoulder and a waistband of the exiting Manners, Maddy gave the nurse a spin and ran her to ring, throwing her under the bottom rope and back into play. Crane quickly joined her foe just before the count would have left Maddy high and dry and the crowd very unhappy.
“There’s so much left for me to do,” Crane insisted, striding after Kristin, who’s on all fours, crawling to the opposite side of the squared circle. “So much more surgery I want to practice on you before performing on your patient.”
Maddy used her nails again, this time slipping them under the back of Manners’ top and Kristin quickly rose so the abused fabric stays in place.
“We really need to get you in a gown,” Maddy snarked. She played with the loose knot and perhaps got a bit distracted with her recreation as Kristin whirled and clocked her with a Forearm Shiver to the jaw that staggered the loudmouth.
“Nice,” Maddy said, her words somewhat warped as she massaged her mandible. “But hardlUHH”
Crane’s words ended when the Sister drove a foot into the pit of her left knee, sending the redhead to genuflect before the woman in white. A follow-up knee to the chin sent Crane sprawling to her back, mouth finally closed.
Kristin shifted her togs back into their proper positions and scooped up both of Crane’s legs at the ankles. Lifting the limbs, she spread them wide, even the raucous redhead unable to hide the concern when she saw Kristin raise a white New Balance above the juncture of her thighs.
“I suppose it’s now my turn to threaten you with grievous bodily harm if you AHHH.” Maddy’s remark was cut short, but not exactly as most had guessed. Instead of plowing her foot into Maddy’s kitty, Manners leapt into the air, holding her grips on the ankles for as long as she’s able while simultaneously shooting the treads of her tennies into the sides of Maddy’s knees and pushing outward as she and Maddy’s legs fell to the canvas. The ending was a serious set of splits that had Maddy yelping in a seated position, grasping at the groin muscles in her inner thighs. But the skillful practitioner wasn’t done. She widened her own legs, feet still pressing inside Maddy’s stems and forcing them wider, wider and wider until one points north to the other’s south, Crane howling.
The Sister finally relented, rolling into a reverse somersault that snapped her up to verticality. Maddy drew her legs carefully closer, but could do little when Manners collected the right and lifted it again. Kristin stepped over the limb and knotted it with the redhead’s opposite stem. With Maddy’s legs crossed in a familiar figure of four, the Sister showed no mercy whatsoever in spinning Crane to her chest and locking her legs around those of her foe, securing her Amputator.
AMPUTATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaD0v5o195Y
“I believe it’s time for you to admit your defeat,” Kristin shouted over Maddy’s mewls, the redhead ripping into her own auburn mane to keep herself from the temptation of tapping. “We’ll take care of the good Miss Dream,” Manners continued, “and you can limp your way down the road to the bottom of the card where you can make your little jokes in peace…and quiet.”
And yet on the topic of surrender, Maddy showed a recalcitrance that irritated Kristin to no end. Shaking her head ‘no’ when the zebra questioned her about capitulation, Crane pushed off her chest to her elbows and started to drag she and her adversary toward the salvation of the strands. Facing away from the stubborn idiot, Manners could do very little to halt the other woman’s progress, so she CRANKED forward on Maddy’s right ankle, the merciless Sister oh so willing to snap the redhead’s leg if it meant keeping her out of Lisa’s hair for good.
Grimly silent through all this punishment, the Princess of the Punchline slogged across the canvas until she was finally able to hook an arm over the bottom rope. “Not good enough, Krissy.” Crane huffed as Merle began his count. “Now why don’t you and this special needs Figure Four get back on the short NNNGGGGHH!”
Manners did as the official bade, at least as far as releasing the hold was concerned. But if Maddy had hoped for some reprieve for her aching knee, she was sorely disappointed. For Nurse Kristin seized control of her right ankle and draaaaaaaaaaagged her out into the middle of the ring. Once there she yanked Crane into a three quarters headstand and dropped to her knees to THWONK the vulnerable joint into the thinly-sheathed plywood. That finally got a scream from the redhead, a sound which chilled the FAWNatics and warmed Manners to the cockles of her little black heart.
Rising to her full height over the hobbled humorist, Kristin smoothed back her battle-frayed hair and sneered, “Crawl away, loser. Crawl away before they have to cart you awaNGH!”
Maddy lashed out with her right foot to fetch Manners a glancing blow on one shin. “What’s wrong, Krissy?” she chided. “Worried you don’t have the stomach to carry out Lisa’s ordOOOFFFHHH!”
Not about to take that from a chick with one good leg, Nurse Kristin leapt, pulled her knees to chest level and STAMPED her heels into the redhead’s tummy. Crane sat up straight, both arms clutched tight over her roiling, breathless midsection. She was still fighting for air when Manners twined a hand in her hair and hauled her upright. Maddy favored her right leg, leaning heavily on the left to keep the pressure at a minimum. That was fine with Kristin, as she dipped slightly and hooked her left arm behind the other woman’s right knee and muscled it off the canvas in an awkward standing cradle. Her other arm reached around the back of Maddy’s head so she could clasp her hands just beside the other woman’s head. Drawing the prankster in almost nose to nose, Manners hissed, “You really don’t want to know what I’m capable of, bytch.”
With that she sank down and popped her hips, twisting at the apex to THAWHAM Maddy spine-first into that mat with a perfect Capture Suplex. Landing astride her foe’s chest, Manners pulled her captured leg a bit closer and leaned into the redhead’s chest to keep her down for the…
CAPTURE SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqm2C4shEz8
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Kristin gave up the cover before ‘THREE!’ because Crane got a claw across her face and raaaaaaaked her eyes. “All right, that’s it.” Kristin plunged both hands into Maddy’s hair and jerked her to verticality. “You wanna be a cripple, Crane? Well your wish is my command.”
Transitioning to a Wristlock, she stepped away from Mads, dropped a hip and sent her winging to the far side of the ring with an Irish Whip. Progress slowed by an obvious hitch in her giddy-up, Maddy twisted around and BWUUUNGED into the buckles, whereupon she threw her head back and let out a sob that was only slightly exaggerated. Drawing a bead on the redhead’s ever-yammering mouth, Manners raced to the opposite corner, hopped onto the middle turnbuckle then kicked off and twisted around to ensure she had a full head of steam the instant she touched down. Speed picking up as she closed the distance, Kristin pulled back her right arm for a Lariat that never got off the blocks because Maddy whipped up her left leg and THWHACKED the nefarious nurse square in the chops!
Manners’s head snapped back hard and she probably would’ve wandered off in a drunken stupor if she hadn’t managed to grab hold of the top rope in one hand. She got some more support when Maddy helped herself to a double handful of hair, not that Manners wanted or needed that sort of assistance. But Maddy was inclined to help anyway, especially because it kept Kristin close while she clambered into a seat on the top turnbuckle. Manners had only *just* registered the hands in her hair when Crane jerked her forward into a trio of resounding turnbuckle on forehead collisions. Kristin groaned and released the ropes to push and shove at her attackers tummy, which was exactly what Maddy wanted. A fourth head-smash put the brunette’s defenses on blink, giving the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe all the time she needed to hop off and twist around before she dropped to her tush and THWHONKED Kristin’s mush into the mat via a Sit-Out Facebuster.
Somersaulting clear of the collision while the canvas was still trembling, Maddy fought to her feet and limped over to the sprawled, stunned expanse of Kristin Manners. Still no jokes from Maddy, her usually snarky features were oddly cool (almost expressionless, in fact) as she peeled the suffering Sister off the mat. Sliding her hands from hair to ears so the ref wouldn’t complain, Maddy gave him something else to complain about in the form of a single swift Kneelift she slotted between Kristin’s thighs. Eyes wide, jaw dropped, Manners rose onto her toes and started to collapse but found herself collected in a Front Facelock instead. Shrugging the underling’s near arm across her shoulders, the Sultana of Slapstick snatched a handful of waistband, then gathered her reserves and hoisted Kristin almost directly overhead. In that same instant the redhead twisted around in a single high-speed barrel roll and laid out on her tummy to THAWHAM Manners out full length as the latest victim of Insult 2 Injury.
INSULT 2 INJURY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcKqN_WD-kw
Kristin rolled onto her back and the FAWNatics roared for Maddy to go for the cover, but she did not. Focused on Nurse Manners with the same feverish intensity she’d brought to her matches with the Dream, Crane crawled around behind the brunette and dragged her to a seat. “Whuuuhhh…” Kristin groaned as she felt the other woman setting to work. “You’re dead. You’re so dead, you freAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!” Too late. Mads slapped the Hammerlock on Manners’s left arm, then slid her left hand up through the gap so she could clasp her right hand after that arm was snugged around the slumped battler’s throat. Soon as the knot was complete she flipped over Kristin, landing in a high bridge that forced the brunette’s head into the canvas while putting ungodly torque on her left elbow and shoulder. “AAAAAAAAAAHHHH FAAAHHHHHK!” Manners wailed, the sound of it muffled by the proximity of the mat.
Above her, Maddy balanced on her tip toes and jostled up ‘n down, up n’ down, the redhead using every bit of her weight to punish her rival’s arm. Careful to remain clear of the grounded grappler’s flailing right arm, Merle raised his voice to ask, “What do you say, Kristin? Do you need me to call for the bell?”
“NO!” Kristin barked. “SHUT UP AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID AAAAAAAAWWWW GAAAAAAHHHHHD! STAAAAAAAAHP! JUST STOP, I SUBMIT! I SUBMIT!”
The official pushed to his feet and called for the bell, which clanged promptly. Maddy didn’t release the hold though, she had one more message for Nurse Kristin. “TELL LISA IT’LL BE WORSE FOR HER!’ she roared. “TELL HER IT’LL BE WORSE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR ARM!”
“YES! YES! I’LL TELL HER! ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST LET GOOOOOOOOO!”
Maddy cranked on the hold one more time, then let loose and got to her feet, leaving Kristin to curl up around her demolished arm. Paying no heed to the cheers of the crowd or the attention of the ref, Crane stamped over to the corner where a cameraman was perched on the apron. “You see what I did there, Lisa? THAT’S what happens when I’m not facing four to one odds! When I get my hands on you again, and believe me, Lis, I WILL get my hands on you again, this is exactly how it’s going to play out. Limber up your shoulders, Dreamy. Because if you don’t I’ll snap your arms right the f*ck off.”
She pushed the camera aside, stepped through the ropes and dropped to the floor without another word. The win was nice, but a real celebration would have to wait until Lisa Dream was on the mat, sobbing her surrender in Kristin’s place.