Post by hawkeye on Sept 6, 2024 0:30:35 GMT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoXVYSV4Xcs
Fans eagerly await the open challenge for the TV title when the classic, catchy tune of Bow Wow Wow’s I Want Candy gets the FAWNatic’s toes tappin’ and readies their spirits for the bout. But there’s confusion simmering along with that excitement; did Debra Sugerman change her theme? It would be odd for FAWN to give similar music to a debuting talent. Management would agree, therefore this is not a new wrestler. Stepping out from the curtains is a blast from the past… or the answer to a question from trivia night at the Slaughtered Lamb.
HEATHER ANDERSON
Yes, Heather Anderson! Realization dawns on over half the packed stadium; fans with a deep knowledge of FAWN’s history and those who keep up with the unaffiliated wrestling promotions on the West Coast and Britain. The returning haughty hottie blows a kiss to her loyal fans in attendance and preens for the camera. She fluffs her luxurious blonde curls and pops her gum, “Did you all miss me? Don't you worry, after this, I'll be on your television screen every day.”
One-half of the now legendary tag team The Finishing School struts to the ring with confidence emanating from each sway of her hips. The returning vet comes to challenge for the TV title in an updated version of the gear Heather wore in her FAWN run. A button-up blouse tied off just below her breasts and plaid colored bikini bottoms instead of a mini-skirt and stockings. Despite her stunning and youthful looks, there is an inevitable age when wearing schoolgirl outfits becomes awkward.
Heather skips up the steel steps and stands on the apron, blowing up and popping her gum while snapping her fingers at referee Merle, “Get to it.”
The put-upon official sighs, then obediently walks over and sits on the middle rope allowing Anderson to step through the gap more easily. The career heel straightens up with arms spread, giving the FAWNatics the gift of taking her presence in after all this time. Heather and her partner Candy Caine were once the premier tag team of FAWN2, FAWN’s developmental league. Before rival promotion WOLF acquisition, before FAWN2’s rebranding and move to Bangor. The Finishing School only made a few appearances on the main roster before they were kicked back to the B show and eventually served their pink slips. Heather earned respectable accolades outside of FAWN, but her lack of success in ‘The Show’ has been an itch she’s wanted to scratch for a long time. What’s a better way to make a triumphant return to the biggest promotion in the world than taking a belt off one of the Orlando company’s biggest stars?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXma0EkrrYQ
As The challenger settles into her corner Adam Warock’s nerd jam Kickpunch cues the crowd to start bouncing on their feet and cheer for their favorite Youtuber. The Sri Lankan sweetie appears through the curtains marching happily and carrying the TV title on a shoulder, dressed in a midriff-baring white tank top thin enough to see the red bra underneath. On her wide hips were a pair of pink booty shorts that seemed painted on (and a size too small). She chooses to wrestle in bare feet like her hero Kylie Sanders once did, that worship bleeding into her wardrobe and choice of hair dye (blonde with pink highlights).
CASSAVA ONIKA
RING GEAR
At the top of the ramp, Cassava raises the strap and swings her hips into a turn that puts her back to the audience and presents an ass that makes LaKeisha Bates self-conscious whether she admits it or not. She performs a quick bump and grind to a rowdy and catcalling crowd; Cassava dips low and makes her cheeks clap to the catcalling masses before making her way down to the ring, slapping hands along the way. Onika has a smile on her face but it’s not reaching her eyes like usual… she’s grooving to the beat of her song, but in a much more reserved manner. Is something the matter with the Television Champion?
“FROM PLEASANT VALLEY, IOWA… SHE STANDS FIVE FEET, TWO INCHES TALL, AND WEIGHS IN TONIGHT AT ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS… SHE IS THE WOMAN OF 1,000 HIP ATTACKS AND THE FIRST, CURRENT AND ONLY BUNS OF MASS DESTRUCTION CHAMPION, AND THE CURRENT TELEVISION CHAMPION....THIS IS CASSAVA ONIKA!!”
The FAWN Finds host only carries one of her two belts tonight. Bethany Christain still considers the gluteal gold a ‘vanity’ title and will only let her defend it on special occasions. That and the fact Cassava believes Anderson doesn’t have the ass to challenge for it unless a BBL is in her future. A statement the Superchamp made clear in contract negotiations for the match, which resulted in fiery exchanges with Heather Anderson in the commissioner’s office. The challenger’s still feeling that fire and wants Cassava burned by it; Heather storms over as the dyed blonde climbs the steel steps. this fight‘s starting with the champ on the apron if not for Merle throwing himself between the two lionesses, “Heyhey! If we want this match to start at all, we’re going to our corners and waiting for the bell, got it?”
Heather somehow snaps her gum intimidatingly at Merle and baits Onika over his shoulder, “I’m going to be holding that belt soon, lard ass.”
Cassava is frustratingly demure in response. Only offering a small, closed-lipped smile and a nod, “We’ll see.”
Heather huffs and backs up to the other side of the ring trailing the ropes to her corner while never taking her eyes off the oddly calm Cassava, who stares back unblinkingly. Since he already has his back to the cables, Ref. Merle sits on the middle strand giving Cassava the same courtesy Heather demanded.
She pats him on the shoulder as she enters the ring, “Thank you kindly, Mighty Merle.”
The official’s face lights up, Cassava doesn’t know this, but Mighty Merle is his character's name in his off-hours RPG group. The somewhat gangly but proud zebra is handed the championship belt, and he lifts it in the air for all to see. The timekeeper strikes the bell, its ringing almost drowned out by the noise of the excited crowd. Onika and Anderson exit their corners cautiously with hands at the ready, the warring wrestlers inching closer for a meeting at the center of- “UGH!”
OOOHHH!!
Cassava goes from 1st gear to fifth in a blink, The Superchamp breaks into a sudden sprint and rolls at Heather with her left leg extended striking the natural blonde in the face with her heel! Anderson reels from the out-of-nowhere Ajisegiri. Her head whips back with a yell, and the bubble gum she was chewing flies out of her mouth and dribbles onto the canvas. Anderson’s rocked and stumbling back, Merle pivots around the careening veteran, narrowly avoiding a collision but unknowingly stepping on the loose gum, which will be stuck on his sole for the rest of the evening.
Blinded by the stars in her eyes, Heather steps on fenceposts all the back to her corner and grips the ropes to stay standing. Cassava’s a woman on a mission and blitzes toward one-half of the Finishing School, hurling herself into another Ajisegiri. Heather’s vision clears in time to see the waft of Cassava’s pink and flaxen hair as The Television Champion flips forward, heralding the bare heel that rises in an arc to strike the challenger dead center of her forehead!
KOPPU KICK
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpzFp7CZpC8
This one cuts the power to Heather’s knees and drops the returning star onto her tuchus with the bottom turnbuckle digging into her spine. Cassava scampers into a run to the far corner and U-turns, racing to Heather at greater speed. The Woman of 1000 Hip Attacks screams like a pissed-off banshee as she slugs Heather in the face with her glorious gluteus maximus, the older woman’s head caroms off Cassava’s can over the bottom buckle then whiplashes back to lay against it. Punchdrunk, Anderson rests her head on Cassava’s main weapon, cheek to ‘cheek’ with her stunned mouth slightly open and tasting the salt of the Iowan’s lightly sweating skin. Cassava leans on Anderson’s features as long as it takes to spread the challenger’s legs with her feet and then dashes back to the far corner, practically ping-ponging off the buckles into another brutal running Hip attack. Heather’s nose slices through Onika’s crack as her skull jerks back from the impact. The natural blonde’s visage performs like a trampoline with how fast Onika rebounds off that hit into another run. Concerned for Heather’s safety, Ref. Merle raises a pleading hand “Wait-!”
Too slow. The sound of grinding metal accompanies the thwam! of the corner shaking from a third Hip Attack by The Buns of Mass Destruction champion. A shudder ripples through Heather and a groan can be heard muffled through Cassava's backside, “Mmmmmgh…”
RULE OF THREE(Hip Attack #3)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mo5x2HzeE0 (02:23)
It’s hard to tell Heather’s condition with her face obscured by the Milk Chocolate Mauler buns, but the release of tension in her arms and legs tells the official that the lights may have gone out for the veteran. Cassava looks at Merle curiously as she rolls her hips through smooth and strong figure eights to scrub Anderson’s visage with her superiority, “Did you say something?”
He grimaces and sheepishly waves his attempt at authority off, “...Nothing.”
After one last scrub, Cassava raises her hindquarters letting Heather breathe air instead of bangin’ booty, and then drags her new ragdoll away from a potential (but unlikely) ropebreak. The BMD/TV title holder scrapes her opponent off the deck by the ears and then quickly lowers into a self-insert Headscissors, “I thought about dragging this out.”
Cassava unbends while holding Heather by the knees, turning the veteran into an unwilling cape. She waggles her hips, lightly beating Heather with her buns as she switches from an underhand grip to an overhand. The incessant thump-thump-thump of Cassava’s back porch painfully rouses Anderson in time to hear the Superfan’s chilling confession.
“But if I want true revenge for what happened Miss Kylie Sanders, I need to embarrass you AND your partner.”
“What are you-?”
Onika plummets into a kneeling seat, spiking the top of Heather’s dome into the ring floor.
Axe Guillotine Driver. Cassava Onika to Heather Anderson
UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j3J-wXRRjk
After all the targeted beating her head has taken, this move makes Heather’s brain put up the ‘Temporarily Closed’ sign. The unconscious challenger sloths off Cassava like shed skin and lies on her back unmoving. Normally at this juncture, Cassava will scoot back and treat the audience to a variation of a facesit pin as she rides her victim to victory… instead the Kylie-stan pops to her feet and collects Heather’s noodle-like arms. Decreeing, “You don’t deserve the honour of my cake.”
She crosses Heather’s arms and steps through the X with her left leg. Then as Onika crouches to pull in Heather’s leg and cross them at the ankles, she traps one arm between thigh and calve while pressing her shin across Heather’s cheek. The returned star is being sent back to the independents as a trussed up hasbeen.
DELFIN CLUTCH
i.imgur.com/PowK1eG.gifv
ONE! TWO! THREE! DINGDINGDING!!!
Part of being TV champion is knowing the pacing of the broadcast, and it looks like Cassava wanted to end this before a cut to the commercials! This might be the most dominant win of the Superchamp’s career so far. Not a single moment of offence from her opponent in the match’s short duration. Title successfully defended, Cassava lets Anderson’s stems flop to the mat and unwinds her leg from the loser’s arms, “The Corps doesn’t forget, and true fans don’t forgive.”
Cassava steps on Anderson’s fluttering belly as she collects her gleaming strap from Merle. As her hand is raised she holds the belt high, screaming “Kylie Corps 4 life!”