TV Title: Eva May v. Cassava Onika

“The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the FAWN Television Title… Introducing first, the challenger from Houston Texas. Standing at 5’1 and weighing in at 112 lbs. She is the Panther, Eva May!!!”



Eva May





Eva May emerges from the back curtain in her purple and silver tight bikini bottoms along with her purple and silver sports bra. She walks to the ring smirking as she mouths off to those in the crowd who are booing her loudly. She motions around her waist. “You see this waist?! This is where my title it going to go!” The audience however just boos her even louder as she finally makes her way to the ring. She leaps up onto the apron where she leap frogs over the ropes and she bounces about excitedly waiting for her opponent to come out.



Kickpunch by Adam Warrock

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXma0EkrrYQ



A pace-quickening beat pours through the speakers as the FAWNtron displays a chibi anime version of the BMD/TV champion smashing bricks and fighting generic monsters. The entire time the name CASSAVA ONIKA blazed at the top of the screen in a stylized logo. The short but curvaceous woman of Sri Lankan descent steps through the curtain, bouncing to the beat and holding up the gleaming Television title. The callipygian content creator is dressed for battle in a white tank top that shows a hint of belly button, and a red bra that’s visible through the thin fabric that keeps her large breasts from flashing the fans as she bounces to and fro. On her wide hips were a pair of pink booty shorts that seemed painted on (and a size too small). She chooses to wrestle in bare feet like her hero Kylie Sanders once did, that worship clearly bleeding into her wardrobe and choice of hair dye (blonde with pink highlights).



CASSAVA ONIKA





At the top of the ramp, Cassava swings her hips into a turn that puts her back to the audience and presents an ass that makes LaKeisha Bates self-conscious whether she admits it or not. She performs a quick bump and grind to a rowdy and catcalling crowd; Cassava dips low and makes her cheeks clap to the suddenly roaring audience before making her way down to the ring, slapping hands along the way.



“FROM PLEASANT VALLEY, IOWA… SHE STANDS FIVE FEET, TWO INCHES TALL, AND WEIGHS IN TONIGHT AT ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS… SHE IS THE WOMAN OF 1,000 HIP ATTACKS AND THE FIRST, CURRENT AND ONLY BUNS OF MASS DESTRUCTION CHAMPION, AND THE CURRENT TELEVISION CHAMPION....THIS IS CASSAVA ONIKA!!”



The FAWN Finds host only carries one of her two titles tonight. If Eva May manages to defeat the Superfan-turned-Superchamp, she’ll get a shot at the BMD title next PPV. That scenario would put Cassava at an immense psychological disadvantage, so she’ll do her damnedest to put the Panther to sleep in their first singles match ever.



Cassava turns to the audience and slaps the faceplate of the belt on her shoulder, confidently yelling “Get ready for the best woman on Television to do her thang! You’re about to see me kill and skin a Panther in under 30 minutes!”



Eva smirks bouncing around a bit as she keeps her eyes on the champion. “That’s the same thing Crystal always screamed out, until you sat on her face and took it all away. Don’t let pride come before the fall…” The Panther just forms a toothy grin as she stretches a bit and keeps her eyes on Cassava.



“Anyway… This time it’s one-on-one and it’s time to see who the better woman is between the both of us…I will give you a good fight and who knows, maybe this tush may be on your face.”



Cassava narrows her eyes and steps through the ropes to enter the ring, Eva’s acting less egomaniacal than normal. What’s that about? She sets those potential mind games aside and hands the TV title to the official, mind games only work if you think about them too much. She points warningly at her opposition “It’s nice to have dreams, but this match is going to be a nightmare for you, Eva. I’m an agent of karmic balance tonight. You've been bullying, harassing and demeaning Crystal since you dumped her, in a really shitty way I might add! So it’s come to me to teach you some damn humility.”



Eva just smirks as she blows the woman off. “You teach me humility?! You will learn something after I take you down and place that Television Championship right around my waist!”



Eva throws her arms in the air as she gets an ovation of boos in return. “Anyway we can see here and talk trash but why don’t we just get to the match already. I can’t wait to beat you…”



The zebra checks over both competitors. With all of the pre-match checks over and done with he signals for the bell which brings a start to the match. The two ladies come together like they’re magnetized in a rough Elbow and Collar that has them aimlessly travelling all over the ring and constantly spinning to avoid being the one to touch the ropes. The Panther and the Mauler’s foreheads, chests and tummies are in a constant grind as they bully for position, throughout this sweltering dual these two are locked in an unbreakable staredown. Eva’s the first to get sick of this stalemate and ejects Cassava out of the grapple with an Arm Drag. Cassava rolls with it and pops up to see Eva barreling forward with a Shoulderblock. She matadors out of the way letting the challenger pass by but fails to account for their proximity to the ropes. Eva recoils off the cables and lands that Shoulderblock, putting Cassava on her famous ass. The Panther breaks out in a toothy smile and strikes a pose with her arms in the air cueing a rain of boos from the audience.



“Get used to looking up at me with the lights in your eyes, because that’s how this ends.”



“Fat Chance!” Cassava sneers up at the challenger who winks and makes for the ropes to her right. Cassava stays on the mat but lunges after Eva and lays facedown to trip her up on the rebound, Eva skips over The BMD’s beautifully bulbous ass and runs to the other side of the ring as Onika shoots back up. Eva hits the cables and leaps into a Cannonball; she flips forward aiming her sculpted rear, hoping to hit the champion with the first Hip Attack of the match. Cassava jumps into a near split letting May fly through the space previously occupied, Eva doesn’t miss a beat and rolls to her feet for another bounce off the cables. On this pass the pattern breaks, Eva May recoils off the ropes into Cassava’s upside-down soles, The Superchamp puts herself into a matchbook and flings Eva May over her with the power of her legs alone.



REVERSE MONKEY FLIP

youtu.be/ZX65G9dm8tc?t=53



Eva May rotates uncontrollably in the air till she smacks against the ring floor like a baby bird kicked out of the nest too soon. Gritting her teeth through the pain of the fall, Eva immediately shoves to her feet and throws out a right roundhouse kick when the dyed blonde comes near. Cassava catches her by the boot leaving her opponent hopping on one leg. Eva starts washing windows pleading, “Hang on a moment!” The TV champion will not wait! Cassava sweeps May’s support leg giving The Panther an ungraceful fall that takes the wind out of the challenger, then swings her right leg over the pilfered stem to step between Eva’s thighs. Cassava bends Eva’s right leg into the kneepit of her left, the challenger shudders and lets out a surprised shout of pain as The Superchamp entwines their ankles and throws herself to the mat by the challenger, causing what feels like small explosions in her knees.



MODIFIED INDIAN DEATHLOCK

youtu.be/njVFLXxAcjc?list=PLeRPsdtvusXgpL0znAt8HasHqsAzxsU_z&t=268



“l should have done this to you after you first ambushed Crystal.” Cassava throws herself backward to aggravate Eva’s twisted limbs and ponders over the Texan’s wailing, “Maybe getting some real consequences will make you think twice about being a bitch.”



Eva props herself up on her elbows and mugs at Cassava, trying not to show the pain she’s feeling, “Before the end of the night I’ll make you my biIIIAAAI!!”



Cassava throws herself back again and again, sending swift waves of agony through Eva’s stems.



“You bytch!!! You are going to pay!” Eva screams as Cassava just keeps applying more pain to the hold. Eva rises up and with all her strength forms a fist and uses it to drive against the skull of Cassava. She drives another punch along with another one until she finally gets enough leeway to break the hold. Eva crawls over to the corner and holds her leg as Onika takes the time for recovery. Cassava isn’t down for long though as she goes on the prowl to try to get to the Texan but the Panther is the one who’s ready for it. As soon as Cassava reaches her the shorter woman quickly sweeps Cassava’s leg forcing the BMD/TV champ to crash head-first into the lower turnbuckle. May smiles as she dusts herself off and raises herself up to her feet.



“It’s time for me to be in control.” With that, she rests her foot against Cassava’s head and chokes her against the bottom rope.



The referee immediately yells at the Texan. “Break it up Eva…”



“Not until you give me a count of five…”



The ref restrains himself from shooting the heel a dirty look and begins a firm count to a DQ.



“One!”



“Two!”



“Three!”



“Four!”



“Fi-!”



Before he could finish that is when Eva backs away and throws her arms up innocently. “See? I always follow the rules!” She torments the crowd into showering her with boos “I’ll be the perfect champion!”



While she picks herself off the mat, Cassava sounds like she’s coughing up a lung ”Hack! Cough! What happened to this being a good fight?” She wheezes accusingly, rubbing the red mark on her throat where the covered steel cable was crushing her larynx. Eva mockingly acts confused, gesturing to Cassava and their surroundings, “How was this not good for me? I’m about to become champion.”



CRACK! Eva’s head violently twists to the left and whips back with a fresh welt on her right cheek in the shape of Onika’s hand. The TV champion reaches over and snatches the back of Panther’s hair and yanks on it hard. “Gaaie!” Eva flinches and points her chin to the ceiling, Onika flattens her other hand and tees off on the insolent challenger’s cheek, slapping some respect in May’s spirit as she tears her down. CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! “What the hell have you done that makes you think you can act like this!? Who have you beat!? What gold have youAAAIE!”



The Panther unleashes her claws on Onika’s generous bounty, sharply dragging her nails down the slope of the Iowan’s cleavage. The Superchamp protectively crosses her arms over her second-best asset and gags when May Cross-Chops her in the throat. The challenger’s hands dart out and take Cassava in a Three-Quarter’s Facelock. Eva yells out as she forces Cassava to run in pace to the corner, “I’m about to beat you and take your gold!”



Eva’s fast and agile feet run up the buckles and kick off into a giant flip that takes her arcing over Cassava. Eva drops into a wide-legged seat as the back of Cassava’s head slams into the canvas, the Iowan nearly knocked into a stupor by a serving of Sliced Bread #2.



youtu.be/nKQvlD-ho_k?t=309



Eva makes good on her early premonition and scoots forward into a comfy seat on Casava’s face, pulling in the soon-to-be former champion's right leg and leaning back for a pin.



ONE!



TW-!



Cassava shoves her face free of panther posterior and muscles Eva to the side.



The Panther forms a toothy grin as she looks back at her foe. “Looks like you have a lot more fight in you, I will give you that for being a fighter but it won’t be good enough!”



Eva makes her way back up to her feet as does The BMD. Cassava is finally at a vertical stance and that is when Eva jumps up wrapping her curvy legs around the neck of Cassava. She swings down as hard as she can swooping the Superchamp off her feet with a Poison Hurricanrana. Onika’s head is driven right against the mat and the Texan doesn’t seem like she’s done yet as she points towards the turnbuckles.



“Time to put you down once and for all!”



With that Eva slowly begins to ascend to the top of the turnbuckles. She poses for a bit and leaps off for a Frog Splash which lands picture-perfectly on top of the Superchamp. The impact causes Eva to pop up off her opponent but she quickly jumps back on her foe and hooks a leg for a pin.



One!



Two!



The Superchamp manages to throw Eva off of her but the Texan lands on her feet. She follows up with more of her speedy offense as she immediately jumps trying to drive a double foot stomp to the upper body of the champion. Cassava is able to roll out of the way causing Eva to hit nothing. Cassava shows off her speed as she makes it back up to her feet and begins to capitalize with some rapid body kicks that cause Eva to back up. Onika is relentless with her strikes as she backs Eva all the way over to the corner turnbuckles. She kicks May hard causing her to drop down into the corner. With the Texan’s face perched on the turnbuckle padding, the BMD takes a moment to introduce the Panther to one of her 1000 hip attacks, this one being a stink face. She grinds her butt all along Eva’s face as the crowd cheers for this moment.



www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2iAX6qlDKQ



Cassava keeps groovin’ against May’s features until the ref’s count of five and exits the corner after bopping her booty against The Panther’s face, banging the the back of of May’s head against the buckle. Cassava speedwalks forward wincing and massaging her sore middle, that Frog Splash almost did her in. “Damn cat… I’m putting her down now.” She reaches the farthest corner from Eva and sees her starting to climb back to standing. The Milk Chocolate Mauler hightails across the Squared Circle yelling, “Eva! What’s your Cup size!?”



A dazed Eva has just pulled herself back on her feet with the help of the ropes, and looks up quizzically at the personal question “Huh?”



Cassava jumps and flies the last few feet to Eva with her knees tucked in, the boney caps crushing her opponent’s tender orbs. Cass interlocks her fingers behind Eva’s neck and grins in her pain-racked, gasping face, “Looks like you’re an A Cup to me!” She hurls her weight backwards launching the breathless Texan out of the corner with a Monkey Flip. May does a full rotation in the air before she bellyflops on the unforgiving canvas. Orlando’s no fan of Eva May but even they groan in sympathy seeing her forehead bounce off the sheathed plywood. The challenger groggily gets to all fours and slowly begins to rise; if she were slightly less stupefied, Eva might have heard the tell-tale pitter-patter of Cassava’s bare feet against the canvas and dodged or counterattacked. Instead, the dyed blonde butt bomber speeds over and jumps with a leg stretched like a guillotine over Eva’s neck. Gravity claims Cassava while taking May as a casualty; the challenger’s face slams into the ring floor for the second time in seconds. The crowd roars seeing Onika hit the Jazzasser, a signature move of her rival, Jasmine Washington.



youtu.be/UqH5RD03OdU?t=34



Cassava flips May face up then swings a leg over and takes a heavy seat on her face like she’s settling into a saddle. Digging her fingers into May’s thighs she holds them down and nods her head at the official, “If you please..”



ONE!



TWO!!



THNOOO!!!



Eva’s whole body spasms and bucks just enough to free a shoulder in time. Cassava can’t believe it as she turns her eyes over to the referee who holds up two fingers. Onika nods her head as she looks down at the other woman of color. “You definitely have a lot of fight in you but I have to put you down.”



The BMD lifts Eva up but that is when the shorter woman rakes the eyes of the Superchamp. Onika reaches for her eyes as the referee steps in and tells Eva to stop with the cheap antics. The Panther as strong she is for a petite woman as she lifts the champion as high as she possibly can into the air before slamming her down hard with a Spinebuster. Eva rises back up as Cassava reaches for her back in pain.



Eva is relentless in her assault as she drives vicious knee drops to the gut of Cassava before she slowly backs away and does a handstand splash right on top of her foe. Eva rises up as the Texan forms a toothy grin. “Time to show you why I can be a BMD as well…”



With that, Eva begins to ascend to the top of the turnbuckles with her back turned to her opponent. She is finally standing at the very top of the ropes. She bounces a bit before she leaps off backwards and delivers a massive butt drop right on top of her prone opponent. She remains on top of her as she slowly turns her attention over to the referee.



“My BMD just crushed her, you can feel free to count to three or better yet five. She won’t be kicking out…”



One…



Two…



Before the count of three Cassava is able to push Eva off of her as the Texan can’t believe it. She complains to the referee before she slowly turns her attention back over to her opponent as she repeatedly stomps her over and over again.



“I told you to stay down! I am the better fighter, I am the better wrestler, I am the true BMD! An I’m abouT to be the best thing on TV”



She tries to stomp one more time when Cassava manages to catch a leg and manages to push her away. The Iowa native takes a moment to rise back up to her feet and when she sees Eva running towards her she nearly Clotheslines her head off forcing the Texan to the mat. Cassava turns away from the curtailed cat and bends over to treat the ref, audience, cameraman, and fans worldwide to a display of skillful twerking. From below Eva stares mesmerized while Bethany Christian sees the future ad revenue skyrocket when this clip gets posted.



The Superchamp expounds on the point being made over the cacophony of catcalls and hooting, “How can you be the true BMD when you barely have an ass and have no idea how to use it?” Cassava makes the real Buns of Destruction clap for emphasis before launching into a Standing Moonsault. Eva snaps out of her gluteal glaze and rolls out of the way, Cassava spots the evasion and corrects accordingly. The TV champion lands nimbly on her feet and lets out a surprised yelp when May latches on to a leg and rolls her up in a surprise pin!



The official falls to count the cover in vain, Onika rolls out of the Panther’s grasp onto her knees before even one slap of the mat. Thwack Eva twists on a hip and gives the side of Onika’s head a FIFA-level soccer kick. The bobble-headed BMD champ collapses onto her elbows, eyes rolling in her sockets. Eva charges on all fours like a baby bull to knock Cassava face up on the canvas and wraps her up in a tight pin; Cassava’s right leg is pulled in deep at the knee in a loop of Eva’s arms that traps Cassava’s head, while her left leg is stretched wide with a grapevine.



ONE!



TWO!!



THRNOOO!!!



With Sanders as her hero, Cassava won’t stay down with this amount of punishment! She rips free of May’s cover and turns onto her belly, shaking her head to clear the imaginary canaries. Frustrated beyond belief, Eva planks a shin across Cassava’s back to keep her stuck and wildly paddles the Youtuber’s fat behind with a flattened hand. The echoing, meaty sounds of the champ’s cheeks being humbled mix with Onika’s squeals against Eva May’s angry tirade.



“Just stay down! It’s my time! I’ve waited long enough! You’re not better than me! Crystal’s not better than me! I’m the best!”



Eva ripples Onika’s pinking backside with one last slap, then digs The Panther’s Claws in, then repeatedly and hatefully drags them port to starboard. The ref on this infraction immediately and counts over Onika’s screams, “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!” Eva stops using those glutes as a scratching post and slaps the new welts she’s gifted, for Cassava it’s like someone pressed a branding iron against her skin “AAAAIE!!”



“Stop whining!” May fills her hands with Cassava’s dyed follicles and hauls the champion to her feet. She grabs her wrist and aims Cass to the farthest corner with a Buggywhip, as she slings the bottom-heavy battler Cassava grips May’s arm and lowers to halt the move and whip Eva in her stead. The challenger streaks over to the turnbuckles and expertly takes them with her back.



SMACK!



A bare foot belonging to the Milk Chocolate Mauler strikes Eva in the face with a Yakuza kick! An enraged Cassava lowers her attacking heel and uses it to trip up her opponent and drop Eva on her ass, then she sprints lightning fast across the Squared Circle. All wrestling pundits agree that Eva will regret putting her nails in Cassava’s prize-winning booty because she just woke the dragon. The TV and BMD champ kicks out of the corner and runs even faster to her seated and dazed opponent, Eva’s senses begin to right themselves just as the dyed blonde turns her hips and blasts her booty into Eva’s mug like a battering ram!



Cassava turns and takes her opponent by the hair without a single scrub of May’s features, a sign that things have become dangerous. She plucks Eva off the canvas onto rickety feet and drags her a couple of meters away from the ropes into a headscissors. With no ceremony, Cassava circles her arms around Eva’s middle and swiftly leans back on her heels. The BMD falls on her natural padding while The Panther hits the canvas head-first with all her weight behind it.



HIP ATTACK + SIT-OUT PILEDRIVER

youtu.be/splffjSEDnk?t=197



Eva bonelessly slumps out of Onika’s grasp into a whimpering heap on her left side, one leg twitching as the concussed challenger gingerly touches her head and neck. The Television titlist muscles Eva facedown and maneuvers a knee over her body to straddle the Texan below the shoulders, and dig her arms under May’s waist.

“You don’t deserve the honor of being facesat by these cheeks,” Onika firmly states, lifting and turning the ragdoll-like May onto her shoulders. Pinning Eva’s arms to the mat with her legs, Onika pushes Eva’s rump aside to slope down and interlock her fingers behind The Panther’s neck.

“But you definitely deserve this…” Cassava leans back and crosses her ankles to keep Eva’s arms in place as she tries to root her enemy’s head from her body their mutual love interest’s finisher, Crystal Hilton’s Headscissors Crucifix Choke!



GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT: PHOTOSYNTHESIS

youtu.be/IXwoP23UpsY?t=757



Before the Piledriver, Eva might have held on till she found a way to the ropes, or try to claw her way out. Now she can only sob, wail and trash in Cassava’s unforgiving grip until she pleads for the ref’s intervention “IQUITIQUITIQUIT! GETHEROFFME!!”



Cassava keeps her locked up tight and in pain until the victory bell’s first chime, then pushes Eva away as if the Texan’s very touch burns her. Eva lies defeated on the canvas breathing ragged sobs as the reigning Superchamp stands triumphant with her hand raised by the official, the announcer proclaiming her successful defence to the world.



“Your winner… AND STILL reigning Television Champion, CASSAVA ONIKA!!”



When Cassava is handed her gleaming gold strap, she hoists it over her shoulder and places a dominant foot on Eva’s cheek. Pressing until she hears a whine from the skinned cat, Cassava points at her and lats down the law “If you EVER… scratch me again, I will declaw you and put you down for good. Got it? And the same goes if you ever fuck with Crystal again.”



With that, and a parting stomp to Eva’s hip, Cassava swaggers like a model out of the ring and up the ramp. The camera zooms in on the double champ’s hypnotically swaying booty, a silent promise that this would be the last sight any challenger will see before heading home empty-handed.