Post by hawkeye on Jun 6, 2023 23:14:46 GMT
The FAWNtron screen goes stark white, a rubber stamp slams down leaving an imprint of the Canadian flag in red ink. A baritone-heavy, men’s choir sings “OOOHHHHH, CAAAAANNNAADAAAA!!”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_2D8Eo15wE
The screen goes black as the speakers pump out the classic rock anthem ‘Black Betty” by Ram Jam, white silhouettes of one woman Powerbombing another fly back and forth across the screen. When the bombee hits the ground, the world becomes a fever dream of interweaving colours before resetting to black. The now pale shadows switch to a different variation of a slam to summon the melting kaleidoscope.
Stepping out from behind the curtain is a tall, strong, young Black woman with long dark hair in delightful curls named Olunike Waite. She stands with hands on hips and wearing a stern, inscrutable expression. With slightly squinting eyes she takes the measure of the ring and the surrounding area... The Canadian Destroyer’s ring togs are conservative by FAWN standards and represent her straightforward mindset and rural background plainly.
OLUNIKE WAITE
A one-piece with a two-button collar simulating a stereotypical farmer’s outfit; an unbuttoned V-neck that stopped just before the cleavage of her perfectly proportioned 34Bs, the top half of her gear coloured red, brown and white in a flannel pattern. A texture and colour change from the waist down creates a faux denim daisy dukes substitute, complete with belt loops her thumbs hooking into the ones sewn at her sides. Two shot glasses are pressed tightly between her ring and forefinger in her right hand.
Beside Olunike stood her shorter childhood friend, manager, dungeon master and sometimes tag partner Hazeema McMurray, dressed for business and pleasure. A red silk blouse unbuttoned halfway down letting her mountainous cleavage breathe, showing a hint of her entirely unnecessary push-up bra. A silk brown skirt hugged her shelf of an ass and ended just past mid-thigh, leaving her tan legs uncovered till her fashionable, strappy sandals. As always, her ribs-length dark hair was tied into pigtails with short braids that swung in the air as she danced next to her stone pillar of partner. In one pumping fist, she holds a bottle of Gus n’ Bru whiskey.
Hazeema gestures with the bottle to her stoic client, “You’re gonna slap some sense into Emery for treating our sister Sombra shabby at Thrills, Chills and Spills! We don’t cotton that kind of Tom Fuckery!”
Olunike doesn't change her expression and nods, “This’ll be an attitude adjustment, and if she gets mouthy then things will get a lot less neighbourly.”
They march down the ramp with retribution in mind, Olunike slaps a hand every now and then out of politeness, but her focus is totally on the match ahead.
“FROM LETTERKENNY, REPRESENTING THE NORTHERN COALITION! STANDING AT 171cm AND WEIGHING IN AT 59kgs! THE CANADIAN DESTROYER… OLUNIKE WAITE!”
Olunike slides into the squared circle and throws up a fist to the crowd before heading to the corner to wait for her opponent for the
As she stands in the ring it isn’t long before Alicia Keys Empire State of Mind begins to blast all across the speakers. The moment it does that is when we see a figure wearing a matching two piece blue bikini emerging from behind the curtains. She is joined together by her following servants along with her chief butler Jenkins. Each of them carrying a box of wet wipes.
Emery Coleridge smiles as she waves to the crowd and blows kisses to those cheering her on
“From Greenwich Village, New York standing at 5’3 and weighing in at 115lbs she is the Socialite Emery Coleridge!!”
EMERY COLERIDGE
Emery smirks as she slowly slides into the ring. She stands up as she looks at the audience. “It’s time to cleanse the competition!!!!”
Smile Bomb
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVAZzh8Zih8
All of a sudden we can see photographers lining up in front of the entrance aisle. The lights begin to flicker and a red carpet is rolled down to the ring. We can see an old-school Hollywood countdown landing on the screen.
5
4
3
2
1
It is at that moment that the lights begin to go really crazy and we are able to see a blonde emerging through the curtains to the sound of massive cheers from the audience. She does a twirl and lifts the Fawn Television Championship high into the air before she holds it awkwardly behind her head before she starts to march her way to the ring. She adjusts the title and places it on her shoulder as she stops and admires the screaming crowd that is in front of her.
“Introducing on her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California by way of Detroit Michigan. She is the Countess of Cosplay, The Hollywood Heroine, and of course the Burning Rose. Standing at 5’5 115 pounds, the Television Champion Crystal Hilton!!!”
CRYSTAL HILTON
Wrestling Attire
Tonight her attire appears to be a Tifa Lockhart She smirks as she slaps the hands of the roaring crowd and starts to pose for the photographers that snap photos of her. She smiles running her hands through her long hair as she speaks out loud.
“I love all of you… Tonight I am your RPG Heroine. Team Tifa and Cloud forever! I am the best thing on your Television sets, and am happy to be your Television Champion!!!”
She blows kisses as she continues her way to the ring. She slides her championship into the ring before she jumps onto the apron. She looks around before doing a jumping split to enter the ring. This gains a massive pop from the audience. She picks up her championship off of the ground before she walks past Emery and Olunike smiling at the both of them. She heads for a corner and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle as she raises her title high into the air. She looks at the announcer and takes the microphone with a playful grin as she begins to speak.
“Tonight I hope you are watching Kat! Because I am out here to show the entire world why I am the best Lightweight in the entire world and on Television. Time for my closeup!!”
When Crystal descends the turnbuckles the comparatively towering Olunike is there with an offered handshake, “I look forward to facing you. I’m gonna come at you with everything I have, but I’m gonna keep it clean and above board.” The champion grins and takes Olunike’s hand, giving it three strong pumps; she appreciates the challenger’s straightforwardness. “Same here! I’ll tell you now there’s no chance of you taking my title, but we’ll have a hell of a match with you trying.” Olunike gives her a challenging but not intimidating squeeze before they break the clasp with a smile that shows her eyeteeth, “We’ll see aboot that, Hilton.”
“Enough stalling, poors!”
Hilton and Waite turn to see Emery with her fists on her hips looking impatient, “Some of us have empires to manage. I have a board meeting tomorrow morning and I plan to have that belt on my waist as I get my family another bil.”
Olunike narrows her eyes at her once friend as she makes her way back to the N.C. corner, “You and I are gonna have a conversation, Emery. It didn’t have to start with fists, but it looks like that’s the way the Timbit crushes now init?”
“Oh, get over it!” Emery waves off Olunike’s threat and her collective being as a person, “If your lucha buddy can’t stand up for herself, she should switch to managing like the annoying one.”
“I’ll kick your ass any day of the week!” Hazeema squeaks from ringside, ready to defend her team’s honour, “Just be glad Olunike wants to keep your beating educational!”
Crystal’s eyes widen at the relationship dynamic on display right before a title match, “Seems like I missed some drama.”
Emery points a chin at The Burning Rose disrespectfully, “You must be used to that, all your terrible movies become tragic comedies whether they're written that way or not.” Crystal turns livid in a heartbeat and stomps into a chest-in with the haughty billionaire, “You asking to get slapped, puta!?” The official squeezes himself between the two just as things start to unravel and orders the remaining competitors to their places. Only once everyone’s in place and passed the patdown does he motion for the bell.
DINGDING!
The three competitors rush out of their corners into a shrinking orbit of the ring, each woman’s eyes darting side to side never wanting to let someone slip outside their peripheral vision. As they spiral closer and closer to the center of the ring, Crystal notices Emery’s eyes flick to Olunike’s position twice as much as they do to her; a subtle insult to the champ which Crystal intends to pay back many times over. When they finally get within range of each other Crystal flicks her arm into Knife-Edge Chop that puts a ripple in Olunike’s chest, then pegs Emery with a mule kick to the stomach when she tries to capitalize. The champ looks to straighten Emery up with a Toe kick to the forehead, but Emery blocks with her crossed wrists and catches Crystal’s boot, leaving the Latina hopping on one leg. It’s not her first day of wrestling school so Hilton jumps and arcs her free foot to Coleridge’s temple- and misses! the billionaire ducks the Enzugiri and laughs at the sight of Hilton on hands and knee, then bleats as Olunike flattens her with a Running Clothesline.
Olunike cocks an elbow and raises it high, “You seemed a lot nicer when we first met.” She jumps high in the air aiming an Elbow Drop for Emery’s heart, but the Lightweight rolls clear and off the apron leaving the hard canvas as a bad crashpad for the Canuck. Olunike gives a cry and cradles her vibrating funny bone, missing the shadow passing over her person. Everyone else sees Crystal leaping over the competition onto the middle rope and springing into her Smell The Roses Moonsault and that flattens Olunike’s tummy like roadkill.
(Smell The Roses)SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLl0pJ8gKZk
Crystal doesn’t bother remaining on top of the canuck for a pin as she focuses on the billionaire but the moment she turns her attention over to Coleridge is the moment that the socialite rolls her up with an inside cradle that she tightens.
One….
Two….
The Latina is able to kick out of the move at the very last moment. Hilton makes it up to her feet but by this time Emery has already risen up to a vertical stance. Emery drives an elbow right against the face of the Latina forcing her head to snap back. Coleridge grabs Crystal’s head and tucks her underneath an arm. Without hesitation she drops backwards, planting her head first right against the mat. Hilton is out of it as the socialite rises to her hands about as if she took out the garbage.
“JENKINS!!!!!!!!”
A butler quickly jumps up on the apron as Emery forms an evil grin.
“Yes Miss Emery…”
“WET WIPE!!!”
The man hands her a wet napkin. Emery grabs it and uses it to wipe the filth off of her hands. What she doesn’t expect however is that Olunike has already risen to her feet. Coleridge throws the napkin to the side and the very moment she turns around is the moment that she walks right into Olunike who places her in between her legs before lifting her up into the air for a power bomb position. Coleridge flays her hands about as she begins to plead with the canuck.
“Wait… Maybe we can talk this out…”
The crowd cheers Olunike on as she lifts Emery up even higher but Hilton manages to get back up to her feet. She runs at the Canuck clipping her low in the knee to make her drop down to one knee. Emery falls out of her clutches as both her and Crystal smile at one another. They each measure Waite up as they go for a double sandwiching punch but Olunike is able to stop both of them as she grabs both of their flying fists. She slowly forces herself to stand up as she grabs both girls by the head and smashes their heads together.
“Two heads are better than one!”
Both women stagger back and the crowd begins to roar loudly as she sprints towards them and takes them both out with a double clothesline!
Olunike stomps Crystal on each breast before turning back to Emery, “Where were we?” Quickly picking up the billionaire by the hair, Olunike knees her in the gut to double her over and flips Emery back up into a Powerbomb stall. The crowd’s one step ahead and is popping for the Destroyer a moment before she turns back and slams Coleridge across Hilton’s belly. “Goahhh!!” Crystal lets out a hoarse howl as Emery is driven across her middle and turns onto her side in the feal position as soon as the smaller challenger rolls off. Given that Emery had an unwilling cushion she’s more disoriented than hurt and quickly gets up. Crack! And gets a bytch slap that cranes her neck and reddens her cheek! For a brief second the ego is slapped out of Emery and she whips her head back to Olunike with a hand to her flushing welt and ‘how-could-you? Eyes, which Olunike crosses with a Headbutt.
“You’ve had this coming for a while,” Waite scolds as Emery topples to her back like a felled tree.
Meanwhile Crystal rolls out of the ring. Her chest hurting from Emery being sent on top of her chest along with those stomps to her breasts. She clutches at her upper body as she struggles to make it back to her feet. She was a good sport except for when she felt that people tried to take advantage of her kindness especially by playing dirty. Crystal finally shakes herself off as she climbs up onto the apron. She is quick and nimble as a cat as she uses the ropes as a launch pad to jump to top of them however instead of springing forward into the ring she instead leaps backwards and right on top of Hazeema. The crowd is stunned as the Afro-Latina rises back up holding her upper body as she looks down at the canuck.
“Tell your client to watch the breasts and this won’t happen again!”
The crowd is stunned as Cassava’s kindness didn’t fully reach the Blossoming Rose and she still had kinks to work out. She jumps back up onto the apron and looks into the ring right at Olunike.
“Care to focus on my breasts again?!”
Olunike isn’t one that is happy with what Crystal just did as she decides to focus on the movie star. She rushes after Crystal but Hilton springs off of the ropes flipping over the Canuck as she pulls her down in her rotation for what looks like a sunset flip pin.
One…
Two….
Emery however is able to break the pin at the last possible second. Emery breathes heavily as she looks over at Crystal and yanks her to her feet. The Latina tries to push away but Emery’s technical prowess is enough to overwhelm her as she follows up by grabbing Hilton’s head and swinging her about taking her down to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd roars with excitement as they actually get behind the Billionaire Bitch. Crystal turns onto her stomach and this is when Emery decides to stand on her back. She grabs a hold of both of her arms lifting her up off of the ground before she uses her foot to drive her head first into the mat with a curb stomp.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBO10Oq-M3k
An arena’s worth of people groans sympathetically as they watch Crystal’s skull bounce off the sheathed plywood ring floor like a basketball. The tension in the actress’ body instantly shuts off and she’s motionless aside from a slight twitch in her glutes. Emery rolls Crystal onto her back revealing rolled-up eyes; leaning against her fluttering chest, Emery scoops both of the champ’s legs under an arm and pulls them in deep for a pin. Crystal’s black skirt flaps inside out as her rump is pointed skyward reeling matching bottoms. Looks like the rich girl’s getting another piece of gold!
One…
A sprinting Olunike jumps over the Lightweights, kicking her legs out mid-air to drop that farm-strong ass on the pair with a Seated Senton, Crushing the air out of the two and saving the title for Canadian hands. The writhing of her human crashpads displaces Olunike back on the canvas while a pinched-faced Emery rolls to her side holding her ribs. The Senton acted as a defibrillator for Crystal and brought back to consciousness and all the aches it brings, the Television Champion makes a tactical retreat and crawls out of the ring drops into a seat against the side of the steel steps. She groans, “Ughhh…. I need to enact weight limits for this division.”
Inside the Squared Circle Olunike’s still teaching Emery about respect. Having raised her up the scruff, Olunike buggywhips Emery into the cables and snaps her up on the rebound by the hip and top. The one percenter is only vertical for a matter of seconds before she’s cratered into the ring with a Standing Spinebuster.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YUTRzEr8q4
Emery’s blown into a matchbook in the aftershocks of the power move with her ankles by her ears, the brunette gives a delayed bleat of pain and slowly shakes her head like she’s trying to will away the pain like unwanted finger foods. She’s ripe for the pinning but Olunike stops herself and glances around the ring for its third player, spotting Crystal about to slide back in a neighbouring corner when a recovered Hazeema demands the actress’ attention “Hey!”
Crystal immediately shifts back out of the ring with raised fists ready for a sneak attack, but Hazeema just stands there with hands on hips, indigent and beautifully dishevelled, “If I didn’t want to tarnish Olly’s win I’d kick your ass for sideswiping me! What kind of champion are you?”
Crystal steps up to the busty manager and points a finger into the upper slope of her breast, “I’m the best champion in this company and don’t you forget it. Your girl hasn’t won shit yet and she never will as long as I hold the strap. You keep ‘Olly’ from playing dirty and I won’t need to spank your aaASS!!”
Hilton screams and flails as her world turns upside down; Olunike has made her way out of the ring and hoisted the Afro-Latina onto her shoulders and down her back like a cape, her dyed blonde hair tickling the pads covering the concrete floor. Gripping her ankles tightly Olunike backs away from her friend and positions herself so Crystal won’t hit the steel steps on the swing down, “It’s a full contact sport, big shoots. If you don’t like it, become a commentator.” Crystal gives a fearful wail as Olunike doubles over quick as a whip, flinging the screaming champ against the floor with a ringing thud that makes the referee cringe.
CANADIAN BACON
youtu.be/JJiZP9aBBVg?t=44
Crystal is laid out on the floor as Emery measures her foe up as she stands inside the ring. This really isn’t her style but she needs to do something to try to take down Olunike. The socialite climbs to the top of the turnbuckles and waits for the canuck to turn her attention to her. A few moments go by and Olunike finally gives Emery the attention she’s been craving. Emery leaps off the top with a flying crossbody. Olunike sees it coming at the last possible second and actually manages to catch Coleridge in the middle of the air. She lifts Emery up as she begins to walk her over towards the announcers table.
“This one is for Sombra…”
Olunike lets out a howling scream before she sends Coleridge down against the commentating table which breaks on impact. The crowd roars with excitement as both Lightweights are down and out. She leaves Emery in the wreckage as she turns her attention to Hilton. She picks up the lifeless body of the champion and rolls her into the ring. She tries to pick up Crystal but she just seems to be deadweight as she falls back to the ground. Olunike is upset as she tries to lift Hilton back up but the TV champ showcases she is pulling off quite the performance as she slaps Olunike as hard as she can against her face. Olunike reaches for her face in pain as Crystal mouths off to her in Spanglish. Waite goes for a Clothesline but Hilton manages to duck underneath it. As soon as she does she throws a Pele kick backwards nailing the Canuck against the temple.
“Time to put you down chica!”
She delivers another kick followed by another one. The Canuck begins to teeter but Hilton winds up as she looks for her spinning reverse roundhouse kick. It’s picture-perfect as it connects head-on.
Flashing Lights
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO9IABEWV0g
Crystal’s signature connects flush but Olunike just refuses to go down. Hilton delivers another kick to her temple this time causing her to double over. The Latina doesn’t waste any time as she grabs a hold of Olunike by the hair and tucks her underneath an arm. She grins as she looks out into the crowd.
“Time to feel the heat…. FLAME ON!!!!”
With that Crystal kicks her legs out as she drops down backwards nailing Olunike with her finishing DDT. She makes a seductive body cover as she smiles into the camera.
Flame On
www.youtube.com/watch?v=43a8WKoflqk
One…
Two…
Thr….. Before the zebra can count his arm down a third time it is at this moment that Emery is already in the ring. She breaks the pin by placing Crystal into her Bitch Nap, a Figure Four headscissors submission.
Bitch Nap
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE6Xu2bjxC4&list=PLo0fot9z7SrFKu0IRZsFS0jaradcDrUtr
Crystal begins to scream as Emery chokes her out with her legs. She keeps her legs tightly around the neck of her foe. She uses her hand to yank back at Crystal’s hair to apply more pressure to the move.
“Night, night… Little Rose…”
“Grrp…MMrbb! MMMPH!!” Crystal’s attempting a heroic response but the clamp of Emery’s thighs and calf is so tight she can’t move her jaw, the only clear messages communicated are the muffled yelps Crystal makes when Emery pulls on her locks like she’s pulling out weeds. The socialite flexes her legs like she’s trying to pop Hilton’s skull like a grape making the champion whine and beat her heels against the mat, then an idea strikes. Emery grins predatorily as she ruffles the Bitch in her Nap’s hair into two handfuls resembling pigtails and pulls like she means to split Crystal’s scalp down the middle.
The champ starts flopping like an electrified fish “Just give up already!” Emery orders in a shrill voice, “I’ve got a five-year marketing campaign planned with that title and it starts tonight! Don’t think I won’t- Ooooh you cheap skank!”
Even the referee thought that was an overreaction to Crystal getting a boot on the bottom rope. Since Emery’s straining the leeway FAWN gives with all the hairpulling, the official skips the warning and goes straight to the count. In anger, Emery tightens the noose of her legs and tries to denude Crystal of her luxurious hair in the four seconds allotted. Crystal’s going to be getting a lot more horror roles with the glass-shattering screams she letting loose!
“Oh, be quiet,” Coleridge huffs, getting up with, luckily for Crystal, only a few strands of hair trailing from her fingers. “You’re a champion, have some dignity.” Hilton stifles a sob as she tenderly touches her aching scalp, lips quivering and tears in her eyes. Understandably, she’s too preoccupied with potential pre-mature baldness to answer back. Coleridge pulls her up by the wrist, she went for Hilton’s hair but the warning look in the ref’s eye changed her mind, and sends her to the closest corner with an Irish Whip. The TV champ’s moving fast, in that short distance she can’t pivot- Crystal uses the mentum to run up the buckles and spring back the socialite! The Burning Rose soars over Emery as she flips forward the air, as she passes Crystal grabs Emery’s head in a Cravate and drags the challenger down with her body weight and drives the back of her neck into the mat.
Diving Neckbreaker (0:18)
youtu.be/BN0S4I8gQdI
Emery cradles her neck as she huddles face down/butt up on the ring floor, kicking her feet wildly as she processes the equal parts lightning and numbness that are spreading through her body. Crystal draws her knees in and Kips Up, an angry scowl marking her face as she pulls on E mery’s dark locks and leads her by them to the side of the ring facing the ramp. Pressing Emery’s back to the ropes, Crystal makes the rich challenger hiss in pain by yanking back on her hair to expose her chin. “How do you like it, huh!?” She tags Emery with a hateful bytch slap then positions the rich girl’s arms behind the top rope. She points her shoulder at Emery and welts her tits with A Knife-Edge Chop that reverberates with a Crack!
“RRRrgh!!”
Coleridge's cry is drowned out by a roar that’s a combination of a lioness and a riding mower startles Crystal and she whips her head around for the source of the noise. It’s Olunike, charging across the ring like a raging bull! Crystal darts out of the big Canuck’s path in time but Emery’s still caught in the cables. THAWP! Olunike’s brawny arm made strong from years of throwing barley bales smashes below Emery’s clavicle and sends her flipping over the ropes! Emery would scream in pain and terror if that Clothesline hadn’t put her lungs in a coma. Her heels briefly catch on the edge of the apron so there’s a singular second where Emery’s windmilling her arms like she’s trying to fly back to the nest, then she falls and splats on the thin padding covering the concrete floor. She thrashes in agony and opens her mouth for a warbled cry. Hazeema skips over in her strappy sandals and points down at the suffering socialite and teaches her the lesson of the day, “That’s what you get! That’s what you get! You mess with La Sombra, you mess with all of us.”
Up in the ring, Waite’s looking down at this mess of a girl and about to add her two cents when Hilton hops on her back with a Bodyscissors and slaps on a tight Sleeper. The champ thinks back to all those training sessions with Cassava and adjusts her placement to properly cut off the airflow, “Just go to sleep, we all know I’maaAAH!” Waite shows no hesitation and books it to the farthest corner; building to a healthy speed en route, Olunike pivots and smears Hilton against the pads. The Sleeperhold disintegrates on impact, Crystal slides off the Destroyer and onto her now rubbery legs. Olunike twists and tests Crystal’s cheekbone with a stiff Back Elbow. Turning to the stunned champ, The Toughest Lady in Letterkenny grabs Crystal by the front of her white top and by the belt of her skirt.
“We all know that your hot streak is a series of lucky breaks,” Olunike pulls Hilton out of the corner and lifts her into a Military Press without a hint of effort. Hilton shakes her head and fear and kicks her legs but Olunike doesn’t seem to notice as she treks to the ramp-facing side of the ring and tosses the blonde over the ropes. Emery is just starting to come around when the champion’s 125lbs drop on her like an anvil. Though unintended, from the way she landed Crystal hit the billionaire with a near perfect Frog Splash.
Hazeema’s bouncing in place she is so excited by how the match is going for her biggest bestie and client, making the drooling front glad they got the expensive seats as they watch her juggs do a jig. “You got this Waite!” The DM&M cheers the Coalitionite on as she steps out of the ring and down the steel steps. “Thanks, McMurray,” Olunike gives her manager a fist bump as she passes by. “Don’t want to count the chicks before they hatch, but I think we’re getting gold tonight.” Weighing her options, Olunike decides to keep the focus on Emery and Hilton off her ex-friend, “Rise and Shine.” The Canuck struggles to lift a jelly-legged one percenter to her feet, “We still got a match going-” Emery’s playing possum! She firms up and buggywhips Olunike into a Drop Toehold; Olunike goes down and bangs her forehead against the cold metal barrier, she’s got a hard head but even that leaves the Destroyer loopy and groaning on the floor. Hazeema pales and covers her mouth in worry, “Olly!” She runs over and kneels beside her friend, cupping Olunike’s face and checking her glazed eyes for signs of a concussion. “Are you alright? Are youaAAIEEE!”
Whatever Hazeema is wearing under her skirt has been transformed into a thong by Emery, she has reached under the manager’s waistband and stretched it to its structural limits. Taking both of Hazeema’s pigtails in a fist, Emery yanks on both handholds and forces the manager to rise. “Get behind the barrier with the rest of the rabble!” Emery looks for the rowdiest section of the front row and spies a pocket of partying, drunken women dressed in white and orange sorority wear, probably some kind of group trip.
"Hey ladies! Got a new rush for you!"
Emery gives Hazeema the bum's rush over the guardrail, throwing her into the sea of hungry female fans; it’s like watching a school of piranhas turn a large animal into a skeleton. Shreds of Hazeema’s top and skirt fly into the air as the sorority surround and converges on the overwhelmed Pakistani Canadian. Hazeema breaches the bubble of groping fangirls gasping and reaching for the barrier, with a petite brunette motorboating her breasts through her askew bra before she’s pulled back into the storm of pulchritude by her pigtails. Now it’s scraps of her bra and panties being thrown into the air like confetti.
Emery takes a moment to dust off her hands before rearing her head back and screaming in a glass-cracking pitch “JENKINS!!”
Her butler stands at rapt attention, “Yes Miss Emery?”
“Zipties!”
He nods as he reaches into his neat jacket, “Yes, Miss Emery.” And produces two blue zip-ties bundled in his hand, which one would hope is not a usual day for him. The Lightweight challenger strides over and takes them out of his hand without even a simple ‘thank you’. Emery heads over to Olunike who’s pulled herself to a seat against the cool barrier but is still too brain-addled to do much more. Emery takes one of Olunike’s arms and holds it against one of the bars of the guardrail. “When I take the belt, this makes us 2 to 1, for me.” Waite tries to shake her head clear of the buzzing, the annoying presence of Coleridge's agitating presence speeding her recovery. But not fast enough to stop her former friend from zip-tying her other arm. “I’d offer a title shot to settle our Best of Five, but it should really go towards those who earn it.”
Waite bares her teeth and kicks at Emery but the rich girl backs away laughing. Roaring with frustration, Olunike jerks towards the heel and that section of the guardrail Clangs! and staggers forward an inch. Emery gets a little fearful of her big ex-friend getting loose and decides to get the win while the getting’s good. Burning with anger, Olunike puts all her strength and focus into getting out of her restraints, “You are building up quite a bill, girl…”
While her challengers settle their personal debts, the TV champion climbs back into the ring on hands and knees and slowly begins to stand up. Emery sees Crystal is hurting and slides into the ring with urgency; she pops up in a run and speeds past Crystal to the cables ahead, recoiling off the cables Emery readies to give the Afro-Latina a Clothesline From Hell.
Crack!
Emery’s head snaps back from a Superkick and she splays on the mat! Crystal’s acting skills come into play once again, The Burning Rose reignites at full intensity and drops to the mat to remove her opponent with her Trump card.
Photosynthesis:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7pdQ1I-XvE )
Crystal has her Spyder Twist submission locked on as tightly as she possibly can. Emery screams as she has nowhere to go and is searching for the ropes but they are far out of her reach. The Latina yanks back tighter as she looks deep into the socialite’s face.
“Give it up rich bytch! Just give me what I want!”
Emery grimaces as she shakes her head refusing to give Crystal the satisfaction.
“Arghhh never!!! I won’t give in to such an inferior peasant!”
She moves her feet about as Crystal yanks back harder than before. Olunike manages to use all of the strength in her body to break out of the zip ties. She makes her move as she slides into the ring but the very moment that she does.
“GET OFF OF ME…. I GIVE UP… I GIVE UP!!!! GET HER OFF OF ME!!!!!!”
The socialite screams out loudly as Olunike finally gets to the submission hold and breaks it. However, the very moment that she does the referee is already calling for the bell and it sounds loudly as Crystal breaks the hold and she stands tall.
“And the winner of this match as a result of a submission and STILL FAWN TELEVISION CHAMPION CRYSTAL HILTON!!!!!!”
The stripped clad zebra hands Crystal her Television Championship and she snatches it and raises it proudly in the air. She grins as she calls for a microphone and looks at her two opponents who seem to be disappointed.
“I just want to give a shout out to these two ladies for really bringing it tonight. They were awesome but if I told you once I will tell you again. I am the best thing on your television screens. I am a box office draw and I am certainly the best Lightweight in this company. I keep proving it with win after win… Kitty Kat Braddock you have something I want! I want that Lightweight Championship and I won’t stop until I have it. You know you want to be a triple champ so put your money where your mouth is champ champ. My Television Championship and your Lightweight Championship on the line. Title vs Title…I will be waiting for an answer…”
Crystal blows kisses to her fans.
“You all were fantastic, until next time!”
With that the Hollywood hottie leaves the ring as she runs down the aisle slapping the hands of fans, as Olunike and Emery just glare daggers at one another. Their war wasn’t over by any means and they still had their own issues that need to be dealt with.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_2D8Eo15wE
The screen goes black as the speakers pump out the classic rock anthem ‘Black Betty” by Ram Jam, white silhouettes of one woman Powerbombing another fly back and forth across the screen. When the bombee hits the ground, the world becomes a fever dream of interweaving colours before resetting to black. The now pale shadows switch to a different variation of a slam to summon the melting kaleidoscope.
Stepping out from behind the curtain is a tall, strong, young Black woman with long dark hair in delightful curls named Olunike Waite. She stands with hands on hips and wearing a stern, inscrutable expression. With slightly squinting eyes she takes the measure of the ring and the surrounding area... The Canadian Destroyer’s ring togs are conservative by FAWN standards and represent her straightforward mindset and rural background plainly.
OLUNIKE WAITE
A one-piece with a two-button collar simulating a stereotypical farmer’s outfit; an unbuttoned V-neck that stopped just before the cleavage of her perfectly proportioned 34Bs, the top half of her gear coloured red, brown and white in a flannel pattern. A texture and colour change from the waist down creates a faux denim daisy dukes substitute, complete with belt loops her thumbs hooking into the ones sewn at her sides. Two shot glasses are pressed tightly between her ring and forefinger in her right hand.
Beside Olunike stood her shorter childhood friend, manager, dungeon master and sometimes tag partner Hazeema McMurray, dressed for business and pleasure. A red silk blouse unbuttoned halfway down letting her mountainous cleavage breathe, showing a hint of her entirely unnecessary push-up bra. A silk brown skirt hugged her shelf of an ass and ended just past mid-thigh, leaving her tan legs uncovered till her fashionable, strappy sandals. As always, her ribs-length dark hair was tied into pigtails with short braids that swung in the air as she danced next to her stone pillar of partner. In one pumping fist, she holds a bottle of Gus n’ Bru whiskey.
Hazeema gestures with the bottle to her stoic client, “You’re gonna slap some sense into Emery for treating our sister Sombra shabby at Thrills, Chills and Spills! We don’t cotton that kind of Tom Fuckery!”
Olunike doesn't change her expression and nods, “This’ll be an attitude adjustment, and if she gets mouthy then things will get a lot less neighbourly.”
They march down the ramp with retribution in mind, Olunike slaps a hand every now and then out of politeness, but her focus is totally on the match ahead.
“FROM LETTERKENNY, REPRESENTING THE NORTHERN COALITION! STANDING AT 171cm AND WEIGHING IN AT 59kgs! THE CANADIAN DESTROYER… OLUNIKE WAITE!”
Olunike slides into the squared circle and throws up a fist to the crowd before heading to the corner to wait for her opponent for the
As she stands in the ring it isn’t long before Alicia Keys Empire State of Mind begins to blast all across the speakers. The moment it does that is when we see a figure wearing a matching two piece blue bikini emerging from behind the curtains. She is joined together by her following servants along with her chief butler Jenkins. Each of them carrying a box of wet wipes.
Emery Coleridge smiles as she waves to the crowd and blows kisses to those cheering her on
“From Greenwich Village, New York standing at 5’3 and weighing in at 115lbs she is the Socialite Emery Coleridge!!”
EMERY COLERIDGE
Emery smirks as she slowly slides into the ring. She stands up as she looks at the audience. “It’s time to cleanse the competition!!!!”
Smile Bomb
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVAZzh8Zih8
All of a sudden we can see photographers lining up in front of the entrance aisle. The lights begin to flicker and a red carpet is rolled down to the ring. We can see an old-school Hollywood countdown landing on the screen.
5
4
3
2
1
It is at that moment that the lights begin to go really crazy and we are able to see a blonde emerging through the curtains to the sound of massive cheers from the audience. She does a twirl and lifts the Fawn Television Championship high into the air before she holds it awkwardly behind her head before she starts to march her way to the ring. She adjusts the title and places it on her shoulder as she stops and admires the screaming crowd that is in front of her.
“Introducing on her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California by way of Detroit Michigan. She is the Countess of Cosplay, The Hollywood Heroine, and of course the Burning Rose. Standing at 5’5 115 pounds, the Television Champion Crystal Hilton!!!”
CRYSTAL HILTON
Wrestling Attire
Tonight her attire appears to be a Tifa Lockhart She smirks as she slaps the hands of the roaring crowd and starts to pose for the photographers that snap photos of her. She smiles running her hands through her long hair as she speaks out loud.
“I love all of you… Tonight I am your RPG Heroine. Team Tifa and Cloud forever! I am the best thing on your Television sets, and am happy to be your Television Champion!!!”
She blows kisses as she continues her way to the ring. She slides her championship into the ring before she jumps onto the apron. She looks around before doing a jumping split to enter the ring. This gains a massive pop from the audience. She picks up her championship off of the ground before she walks past Emery and Olunike smiling at the both of them. She heads for a corner and climbs to the top of the turnbuckle as she raises her title high into the air. She looks at the announcer and takes the microphone with a playful grin as she begins to speak.
“Tonight I hope you are watching Kat! Because I am out here to show the entire world why I am the best Lightweight in the entire world and on Television. Time for my closeup!!”
When Crystal descends the turnbuckles the comparatively towering Olunike is there with an offered handshake, “I look forward to facing you. I’m gonna come at you with everything I have, but I’m gonna keep it clean and above board.” The champion grins and takes Olunike’s hand, giving it three strong pumps; she appreciates the challenger’s straightforwardness. “Same here! I’ll tell you now there’s no chance of you taking my title, but we’ll have a hell of a match with you trying.” Olunike gives her a challenging but not intimidating squeeze before they break the clasp with a smile that shows her eyeteeth, “We’ll see aboot that, Hilton.”
“Enough stalling, poors!”
Hilton and Waite turn to see Emery with her fists on her hips looking impatient, “Some of us have empires to manage. I have a board meeting tomorrow morning and I plan to have that belt on my waist as I get my family another bil.”
Olunike narrows her eyes at her once friend as she makes her way back to the N.C. corner, “You and I are gonna have a conversation, Emery. It didn’t have to start with fists, but it looks like that’s the way the Timbit crushes now init?”
“Oh, get over it!” Emery waves off Olunike’s threat and her collective being as a person, “If your lucha buddy can’t stand up for herself, she should switch to managing like the annoying one.”
“I’ll kick your ass any day of the week!” Hazeema squeaks from ringside, ready to defend her team’s honour, “Just be glad Olunike wants to keep your beating educational!”
Crystal’s eyes widen at the relationship dynamic on display right before a title match, “Seems like I missed some drama.”
Emery points a chin at The Burning Rose disrespectfully, “You must be used to that, all your terrible movies become tragic comedies whether they're written that way or not.” Crystal turns livid in a heartbeat and stomps into a chest-in with the haughty billionaire, “You asking to get slapped, puta!?” The official squeezes himself between the two just as things start to unravel and orders the remaining competitors to their places. Only once everyone’s in place and passed the patdown does he motion for the bell.
DINGDING!
The three competitors rush out of their corners into a shrinking orbit of the ring, each woman’s eyes darting side to side never wanting to let someone slip outside their peripheral vision. As they spiral closer and closer to the center of the ring, Crystal notices Emery’s eyes flick to Olunike’s position twice as much as they do to her; a subtle insult to the champ which Crystal intends to pay back many times over. When they finally get within range of each other Crystal flicks her arm into Knife-Edge Chop that puts a ripple in Olunike’s chest, then pegs Emery with a mule kick to the stomach when she tries to capitalize. The champ looks to straighten Emery up with a Toe kick to the forehead, but Emery blocks with her crossed wrists and catches Crystal’s boot, leaving the Latina hopping on one leg. It’s not her first day of wrestling school so Hilton jumps and arcs her free foot to Coleridge’s temple- and misses! the billionaire ducks the Enzugiri and laughs at the sight of Hilton on hands and knee, then bleats as Olunike flattens her with a Running Clothesline.
Olunike cocks an elbow and raises it high, “You seemed a lot nicer when we first met.” She jumps high in the air aiming an Elbow Drop for Emery’s heart, but the Lightweight rolls clear and off the apron leaving the hard canvas as a bad crashpad for the Canuck. Olunike gives a cry and cradles her vibrating funny bone, missing the shadow passing over her person. Everyone else sees Crystal leaping over the competition onto the middle rope and springing into her Smell The Roses Moonsault and that flattens Olunike’s tummy like roadkill.
(Smell The Roses)SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLl0pJ8gKZk
Crystal doesn’t bother remaining on top of the canuck for a pin as she focuses on the billionaire but the moment she turns her attention over to Coleridge is the moment that the socialite rolls her up with an inside cradle that she tightens.
One….
Two….
The Latina is able to kick out of the move at the very last moment. Hilton makes it up to her feet but by this time Emery has already risen up to a vertical stance. Emery drives an elbow right against the face of the Latina forcing her head to snap back. Coleridge grabs Crystal’s head and tucks her underneath an arm. Without hesitation she drops backwards, planting her head first right against the mat. Hilton is out of it as the socialite rises to her hands about as if she took out the garbage.
“JENKINS!!!!!!!!”
A butler quickly jumps up on the apron as Emery forms an evil grin.
“Yes Miss Emery…”
“WET WIPE!!!”
The man hands her a wet napkin. Emery grabs it and uses it to wipe the filth off of her hands. What she doesn’t expect however is that Olunike has already risen to her feet. Coleridge throws the napkin to the side and the very moment she turns around is the moment that she walks right into Olunike who places her in between her legs before lifting her up into the air for a power bomb position. Coleridge flays her hands about as she begins to plead with the canuck.
“Wait… Maybe we can talk this out…”
The crowd cheers Olunike on as she lifts Emery up even higher but Hilton manages to get back up to her feet. She runs at the Canuck clipping her low in the knee to make her drop down to one knee. Emery falls out of her clutches as both her and Crystal smile at one another. They each measure Waite up as they go for a double sandwiching punch but Olunike is able to stop both of them as she grabs both of their flying fists. She slowly forces herself to stand up as she grabs both girls by the head and smashes their heads together.
“Two heads are better than one!”
Both women stagger back and the crowd begins to roar loudly as she sprints towards them and takes them both out with a double clothesline!
Olunike stomps Crystal on each breast before turning back to Emery, “Where were we?” Quickly picking up the billionaire by the hair, Olunike knees her in the gut to double her over and flips Emery back up into a Powerbomb stall. The crowd’s one step ahead and is popping for the Destroyer a moment before she turns back and slams Coleridge across Hilton’s belly. “Goahhh!!” Crystal lets out a hoarse howl as Emery is driven across her middle and turns onto her side in the feal position as soon as the smaller challenger rolls off. Given that Emery had an unwilling cushion she’s more disoriented than hurt and quickly gets up. Crack! And gets a bytch slap that cranes her neck and reddens her cheek! For a brief second the ego is slapped out of Emery and she whips her head back to Olunike with a hand to her flushing welt and ‘how-could-you? Eyes, which Olunike crosses with a Headbutt.
“You’ve had this coming for a while,” Waite scolds as Emery topples to her back like a felled tree.
Meanwhile Crystal rolls out of the ring. Her chest hurting from Emery being sent on top of her chest along with those stomps to her breasts. She clutches at her upper body as she struggles to make it back to her feet. She was a good sport except for when she felt that people tried to take advantage of her kindness especially by playing dirty. Crystal finally shakes herself off as she climbs up onto the apron. She is quick and nimble as a cat as she uses the ropes as a launch pad to jump to top of them however instead of springing forward into the ring she instead leaps backwards and right on top of Hazeema. The crowd is stunned as the Afro-Latina rises back up holding her upper body as she looks down at the canuck.
“Tell your client to watch the breasts and this won’t happen again!”
The crowd is stunned as Cassava’s kindness didn’t fully reach the Blossoming Rose and she still had kinks to work out. She jumps back up onto the apron and looks into the ring right at Olunike.
“Care to focus on my breasts again?!”
Olunike isn’t one that is happy with what Crystal just did as she decides to focus on the movie star. She rushes after Crystal but Hilton springs off of the ropes flipping over the Canuck as she pulls her down in her rotation for what looks like a sunset flip pin.
One…
Two….
Emery however is able to break the pin at the last possible second. Emery breathes heavily as she looks over at Crystal and yanks her to her feet. The Latina tries to push away but Emery’s technical prowess is enough to overwhelm her as she follows up by grabbing Hilton’s head and swinging her about taking her down to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd roars with excitement as they actually get behind the Billionaire Bitch. Crystal turns onto her stomach and this is when Emery decides to stand on her back. She grabs a hold of both of her arms lifting her up off of the ground before she uses her foot to drive her head first into the mat with a curb stomp.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBO10Oq-M3k
An arena’s worth of people groans sympathetically as they watch Crystal’s skull bounce off the sheathed plywood ring floor like a basketball. The tension in the actress’ body instantly shuts off and she’s motionless aside from a slight twitch in her glutes. Emery rolls Crystal onto her back revealing rolled-up eyes; leaning against her fluttering chest, Emery scoops both of the champ’s legs under an arm and pulls them in deep for a pin. Crystal’s black skirt flaps inside out as her rump is pointed skyward reeling matching bottoms. Looks like the rich girl’s getting another piece of gold!
One…
A sprinting Olunike jumps over the Lightweights, kicking her legs out mid-air to drop that farm-strong ass on the pair with a Seated Senton, Crushing the air out of the two and saving the title for Canadian hands. The writhing of her human crashpads displaces Olunike back on the canvas while a pinched-faced Emery rolls to her side holding her ribs. The Senton acted as a defibrillator for Crystal and brought back to consciousness and all the aches it brings, the Television Champion makes a tactical retreat and crawls out of the ring drops into a seat against the side of the steel steps. She groans, “Ughhh…. I need to enact weight limits for this division.”
Inside the Squared Circle Olunike’s still teaching Emery about respect. Having raised her up the scruff, Olunike buggywhips Emery into the cables and snaps her up on the rebound by the hip and top. The one percenter is only vertical for a matter of seconds before she’s cratered into the ring with a Standing Spinebuster.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YUTRzEr8q4
Emery’s blown into a matchbook in the aftershocks of the power move with her ankles by her ears, the brunette gives a delayed bleat of pain and slowly shakes her head like she’s trying to will away the pain like unwanted finger foods. She’s ripe for the pinning but Olunike stops herself and glances around the ring for its third player, spotting Crystal about to slide back in a neighbouring corner when a recovered Hazeema demands the actress’ attention “Hey!”
Crystal immediately shifts back out of the ring with raised fists ready for a sneak attack, but Hazeema just stands there with hands on hips, indigent and beautifully dishevelled, “If I didn’t want to tarnish Olly’s win I’d kick your ass for sideswiping me! What kind of champion are you?”
Crystal steps up to the busty manager and points a finger into the upper slope of her breast, “I’m the best champion in this company and don’t you forget it. Your girl hasn’t won shit yet and she never will as long as I hold the strap. You keep ‘Olly’ from playing dirty and I won’t need to spank your aaASS!!”
Hilton screams and flails as her world turns upside down; Olunike has made her way out of the ring and hoisted the Afro-Latina onto her shoulders and down her back like a cape, her dyed blonde hair tickling the pads covering the concrete floor. Gripping her ankles tightly Olunike backs away from her friend and positions herself so Crystal won’t hit the steel steps on the swing down, “It’s a full contact sport, big shoots. If you don’t like it, become a commentator.” Crystal gives a fearful wail as Olunike doubles over quick as a whip, flinging the screaming champ against the floor with a ringing thud that makes the referee cringe.
CANADIAN BACON
youtu.be/JJiZP9aBBVg?t=44
Crystal is laid out on the floor as Emery measures her foe up as she stands inside the ring. This really isn’t her style but she needs to do something to try to take down Olunike. The socialite climbs to the top of the turnbuckles and waits for the canuck to turn her attention to her. A few moments go by and Olunike finally gives Emery the attention she’s been craving. Emery leaps off the top with a flying crossbody. Olunike sees it coming at the last possible second and actually manages to catch Coleridge in the middle of the air. She lifts Emery up as she begins to walk her over towards the announcers table.
“This one is for Sombra…”
Olunike lets out a howling scream before she sends Coleridge down against the commentating table which breaks on impact. The crowd roars with excitement as both Lightweights are down and out. She leaves Emery in the wreckage as she turns her attention to Hilton. She picks up the lifeless body of the champion and rolls her into the ring. She tries to pick up Crystal but she just seems to be deadweight as she falls back to the ground. Olunike is upset as she tries to lift Hilton back up but the TV champ showcases she is pulling off quite the performance as she slaps Olunike as hard as she can against her face. Olunike reaches for her face in pain as Crystal mouths off to her in Spanglish. Waite goes for a Clothesline but Hilton manages to duck underneath it. As soon as she does she throws a Pele kick backwards nailing the Canuck against the temple.
“Time to put you down chica!”
She delivers another kick followed by another one. The Canuck begins to teeter but Hilton winds up as she looks for her spinning reverse roundhouse kick. It’s picture-perfect as it connects head-on.
Flashing Lights
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO9IABEWV0g
Crystal’s signature connects flush but Olunike just refuses to go down. Hilton delivers another kick to her temple this time causing her to double over. The Latina doesn’t waste any time as she grabs a hold of Olunike by the hair and tucks her underneath an arm. She grins as she looks out into the crowd.
“Time to feel the heat…. FLAME ON!!!!”
With that Crystal kicks her legs out as she drops down backwards nailing Olunike with her finishing DDT. She makes a seductive body cover as she smiles into the camera.
Flame On
www.youtube.com/watch?v=43a8WKoflqk
One…
Two…
Thr….. Before the zebra can count his arm down a third time it is at this moment that Emery is already in the ring. She breaks the pin by placing Crystal into her Bitch Nap, a Figure Four headscissors submission.
Bitch Nap
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE6Xu2bjxC4&list=PLo0fot9z7SrFKu0IRZsFS0jaradcDrUtr
Crystal begins to scream as Emery chokes her out with her legs. She keeps her legs tightly around the neck of her foe. She uses her hand to yank back at Crystal’s hair to apply more pressure to the move.
“Night, night… Little Rose…”
“Grrp…MMrbb! MMMPH!!” Crystal’s attempting a heroic response but the clamp of Emery’s thighs and calf is so tight she can’t move her jaw, the only clear messages communicated are the muffled yelps Crystal makes when Emery pulls on her locks like she’s pulling out weeds. The socialite flexes her legs like she’s trying to pop Hilton’s skull like a grape making the champion whine and beat her heels against the mat, then an idea strikes. Emery grins predatorily as she ruffles the Bitch in her Nap’s hair into two handfuls resembling pigtails and pulls like she means to split Crystal’s scalp down the middle.
The champ starts flopping like an electrified fish “Just give up already!” Emery orders in a shrill voice, “I’ve got a five-year marketing campaign planned with that title and it starts tonight! Don’t think I won’t- Ooooh you cheap skank!”
Even the referee thought that was an overreaction to Crystal getting a boot on the bottom rope. Since Emery’s straining the leeway FAWN gives with all the hairpulling, the official skips the warning and goes straight to the count. In anger, Emery tightens the noose of her legs and tries to denude Crystal of her luxurious hair in the four seconds allotted. Crystal’s going to be getting a lot more horror roles with the glass-shattering screams she letting loose!
“Oh, be quiet,” Coleridge huffs, getting up with, luckily for Crystal, only a few strands of hair trailing from her fingers. “You’re a champion, have some dignity.” Hilton stifles a sob as she tenderly touches her aching scalp, lips quivering and tears in her eyes. Understandably, she’s too preoccupied with potential pre-mature baldness to answer back. Coleridge pulls her up by the wrist, she went for Hilton’s hair but the warning look in the ref’s eye changed her mind, and sends her to the closest corner with an Irish Whip. The TV champ’s moving fast, in that short distance she can’t pivot- Crystal uses the mentum to run up the buckles and spring back the socialite! The Burning Rose soars over Emery as she flips forward the air, as she passes Crystal grabs Emery’s head in a Cravate and drags the challenger down with her body weight and drives the back of her neck into the mat.
Diving Neckbreaker (0:18)
youtu.be/BN0S4I8gQdI
Emery cradles her neck as she huddles face down/butt up on the ring floor, kicking her feet wildly as she processes the equal parts lightning and numbness that are spreading through her body. Crystal draws her knees in and Kips Up, an angry scowl marking her face as she pulls on E mery’s dark locks and leads her by them to the side of the ring facing the ramp. Pressing Emery’s back to the ropes, Crystal makes the rich challenger hiss in pain by yanking back on her hair to expose her chin. “How do you like it, huh!?” She tags Emery with a hateful bytch slap then positions the rich girl’s arms behind the top rope. She points her shoulder at Emery and welts her tits with A Knife-Edge Chop that reverberates with a Crack!
“RRRrgh!!”
Coleridge's cry is drowned out by a roar that’s a combination of a lioness and a riding mower startles Crystal and she whips her head around for the source of the noise. It’s Olunike, charging across the ring like a raging bull! Crystal darts out of the big Canuck’s path in time but Emery’s still caught in the cables. THAWP! Olunike’s brawny arm made strong from years of throwing barley bales smashes below Emery’s clavicle and sends her flipping over the ropes! Emery would scream in pain and terror if that Clothesline hadn’t put her lungs in a coma. Her heels briefly catch on the edge of the apron so there’s a singular second where Emery’s windmilling her arms like she’s trying to fly back to the nest, then she falls and splats on the thin padding covering the concrete floor. She thrashes in agony and opens her mouth for a warbled cry. Hazeema skips over in her strappy sandals and points down at the suffering socialite and teaches her the lesson of the day, “That’s what you get! That’s what you get! You mess with La Sombra, you mess with all of us.”
Up in the ring, Waite’s looking down at this mess of a girl and about to add her two cents when Hilton hops on her back with a Bodyscissors and slaps on a tight Sleeper. The champ thinks back to all those training sessions with Cassava and adjusts her placement to properly cut off the airflow, “Just go to sleep, we all know I’maaAAH!” Waite shows no hesitation and books it to the farthest corner; building to a healthy speed en route, Olunike pivots and smears Hilton against the pads. The Sleeperhold disintegrates on impact, Crystal slides off the Destroyer and onto her now rubbery legs. Olunike twists and tests Crystal’s cheekbone with a stiff Back Elbow. Turning to the stunned champ, The Toughest Lady in Letterkenny grabs Crystal by the front of her white top and by the belt of her skirt.
“We all know that your hot streak is a series of lucky breaks,” Olunike pulls Hilton out of the corner and lifts her into a Military Press without a hint of effort. Hilton shakes her head and fear and kicks her legs but Olunike doesn’t seem to notice as she treks to the ramp-facing side of the ring and tosses the blonde over the ropes. Emery is just starting to come around when the champion’s 125lbs drop on her like an anvil. Though unintended, from the way she landed Crystal hit the billionaire with a near perfect Frog Splash.
Hazeema’s bouncing in place she is so excited by how the match is going for her biggest bestie and client, making the drooling front glad they got the expensive seats as they watch her juggs do a jig. “You got this Waite!” The DM&M cheers the Coalitionite on as she steps out of the ring and down the steel steps. “Thanks, McMurray,” Olunike gives her manager a fist bump as she passes by. “Don’t want to count the chicks before they hatch, but I think we’re getting gold tonight.” Weighing her options, Olunike decides to keep the focus on Emery and Hilton off her ex-friend, “Rise and Shine.” The Canuck struggles to lift a jelly-legged one percenter to her feet, “We still got a match going-” Emery’s playing possum! She firms up and buggywhips Olunike into a Drop Toehold; Olunike goes down and bangs her forehead against the cold metal barrier, she’s got a hard head but even that leaves the Destroyer loopy and groaning on the floor. Hazeema pales and covers her mouth in worry, “Olly!” She runs over and kneels beside her friend, cupping Olunike’s face and checking her glazed eyes for signs of a concussion. “Are you alright? Are youaAAIEEE!”
Whatever Hazeema is wearing under her skirt has been transformed into a thong by Emery, she has reached under the manager’s waistband and stretched it to its structural limits. Taking both of Hazeema’s pigtails in a fist, Emery yanks on both handholds and forces the manager to rise. “Get behind the barrier with the rest of the rabble!” Emery looks for the rowdiest section of the front row and spies a pocket of partying, drunken women dressed in white and orange sorority wear, probably some kind of group trip.
"Hey ladies! Got a new rush for you!"
Emery gives Hazeema the bum's rush over the guardrail, throwing her into the sea of hungry female fans; it’s like watching a school of piranhas turn a large animal into a skeleton. Shreds of Hazeema’s top and skirt fly into the air as the sorority surround and converges on the overwhelmed Pakistani Canadian. Hazeema breaches the bubble of groping fangirls gasping and reaching for the barrier, with a petite brunette motorboating her breasts through her askew bra before she’s pulled back into the storm of pulchritude by her pigtails. Now it’s scraps of her bra and panties being thrown into the air like confetti.
Emery takes a moment to dust off her hands before rearing her head back and screaming in a glass-cracking pitch “JENKINS!!”
Her butler stands at rapt attention, “Yes Miss Emery?”
“Zipties!”
He nods as he reaches into his neat jacket, “Yes, Miss Emery.” And produces two blue zip-ties bundled in his hand, which one would hope is not a usual day for him. The Lightweight challenger strides over and takes them out of his hand without even a simple ‘thank you’. Emery heads over to Olunike who’s pulled herself to a seat against the cool barrier but is still too brain-addled to do much more. Emery takes one of Olunike’s arms and holds it against one of the bars of the guardrail. “When I take the belt, this makes us 2 to 1, for me.” Waite tries to shake her head clear of the buzzing, the annoying presence of Coleridge's agitating presence speeding her recovery. But not fast enough to stop her former friend from zip-tying her other arm. “I’d offer a title shot to settle our Best of Five, but it should really go towards those who earn it.”
Waite bares her teeth and kicks at Emery but the rich girl backs away laughing. Roaring with frustration, Olunike jerks towards the heel and that section of the guardrail Clangs! and staggers forward an inch. Emery gets a little fearful of her big ex-friend getting loose and decides to get the win while the getting’s good. Burning with anger, Olunike puts all her strength and focus into getting out of her restraints, “You are building up quite a bill, girl…”
While her challengers settle their personal debts, the TV champion climbs back into the ring on hands and knees and slowly begins to stand up. Emery sees Crystal is hurting and slides into the ring with urgency; she pops up in a run and speeds past Crystal to the cables ahead, recoiling off the cables Emery readies to give the Afro-Latina a Clothesline From Hell.
Crack!
Emery’s head snaps back from a Superkick and she splays on the mat! Crystal’s acting skills come into play once again, The Burning Rose reignites at full intensity and drops to the mat to remove her opponent with her Trump card.
Photosynthesis:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7pdQ1I-XvE )
Crystal has her Spyder Twist submission locked on as tightly as she possibly can. Emery screams as she has nowhere to go and is searching for the ropes but they are far out of her reach. The Latina yanks back tighter as she looks deep into the socialite’s face.
“Give it up rich bytch! Just give me what I want!”
Emery grimaces as she shakes her head refusing to give Crystal the satisfaction.
“Arghhh never!!! I won’t give in to such an inferior peasant!”
She moves her feet about as Crystal yanks back harder than before. Olunike manages to use all of the strength in her body to break out of the zip ties. She makes her move as she slides into the ring but the very moment that she does.
“GET OFF OF ME…. I GIVE UP… I GIVE UP!!!! GET HER OFF OF ME!!!!!!”
The socialite screams out loudly as Olunike finally gets to the submission hold and breaks it. However, the very moment that she does the referee is already calling for the bell and it sounds loudly as Crystal breaks the hold and she stands tall.
“And the winner of this match as a result of a submission and STILL FAWN TELEVISION CHAMPION CRYSTAL HILTON!!!!!!”
The stripped clad zebra hands Crystal her Television Championship and she snatches it and raises it proudly in the air. She grins as she calls for a microphone and looks at her two opponents who seem to be disappointed.
“I just want to give a shout out to these two ladies for really bringing it tonight. They were awesome but if I told you once I will tell you again. I am the best thing on your television screens. I am a box office draw and I am certainly the best Lightweight in this company. I keep proving it with win after win… Kitty Kat Braddock you have something I want! I want that Lightweight Championship and I won’t stop until I have it. You know you want to be a triple champ so put your money where your mouth is champ champ. My Television Championship and your Lightweight Championship on the line. Title vs Title…I will be waiting for an answer…”
Crystal blows kisses to her fans.
“You all were fantastic, until next time!”
With that the Hollywood hottie leaves the ring as she runs down the aisle slapping the hands of fans, as Olunike and Emery just glare daggers at one another. Their war wasn’t over by any means and they still had their own issues that need to be dealt with.