Post by hawkeye on Nov 7, 2021 23:35:58 GMT
An extended video package detailing the history of the Madhouse combined with the nigh on preternatural skills of the FAWN ring crew ensured the squared circle was nowhere to be found when the lights returned in the cellar. In its place was a much different square, one with the ropes and turnbuckles removed in favor of heavily padded blue walls about standing about four feet high. And instead of canvas there was a whole lot of green… slime? Muck? Glop-ola? Whatever you called it, the stuff didn’t quite boil & bubble, but it certainly wouldn’t look out of place in a witch’s cauldron either. It was over this odd tableau that the Announcer spoke, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit and it is for the FAWN Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, they are the challengers, hailing from Arkham Massachusetts and Greentown Illinois respectively and weighing in at a combined total of two hundred and fifty-five pounds, Eve Choldstone and Calliope, they are THE FRIGHTENERS!”
HERE COME THE FRIGHTENERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMP42SoWajQ
The Cellar Dwellers voiced their approval with a peal of maniacal laughter as static and the distinctive warble of a Theremin filled the basement. This was joined after several seconds by slow, distorted chuckles from a single throat, though the pitch and volume changed to frequently it could’ve been a whole chorus of lunatics. The lights went next, dimming to almost nothing before a bank of spotlights on the stage roared back in an insane panoply of colors. Delighted by this breath from worlds strange and unseen, the capacity crowd sprang to their feet when hundreds of balloons dropped from the rafters. As the balloons drifted down, a bluish-white mist rose from hidden vents, the contrasting bits of weirdness fusing into something that delighted and chilled in the same breath. Whatever you called it, the effect was compounded by the background noise, which was slowly coalescing into something more and more like mus--the howl of an electric guitar ripped through the speakers and everyone who wasn’t entirely in their right mind lent their voices to the classic carnival riff.
Stepping from gloom shoulder to shoulder, the Fallen Angel of Arkham and the Queen of Outré Space saluted their fellow ghouls with a pair of thumbs dragged across a pair of pale, bare throats.
EVE CHOLDSTONE:
CALLIOPE:
“All Hallows Evil, Cali.” Eve told her partner. “You know what that means.”
“Slime!” she answered at once. “And candy!”
“Aaaaaaaaand?”
“Gold! You think the dorks in the front office finally took my suggestion?”
“The one about replacing the belts with foil-wrapped chocolate replicas? Probably not!”
Calliope groaned and stamped her foot. “But they’re leaving so much money on the table!”
“I know, I know. Tell you what, once we’ve got the belts, we’ll get a chocolate set made.”
“Swearsies?!”
“Yup. All we’ve gotta do is beat up a gangster and a Martian.”
“So, the usual Tuesday afternoon?”
“And just as easy.”
The Frighteners started down the ramp with Calliope taking point because she simply had to cartwheel, flip, handspring or tumble when she found herself in front of a crowd. Eve however was more languid in her approach, the Haunter of the Dark glancing from side to side in case some idiots were of a mind to crash their title opportunity.
For this battle on the most mischievous night of the year, Choldstone traded her standard black leather two piece for something identically colored but in a far more slime friendly lycra. Calliope made no such concessions, the green-haired veteran dressed in electric blue sequined bikini bottoms and a black & green striped halter top. Closing on the well-padded edge of their battleground, Eve and Calliope hopped onto the top of the wall and raised their arms wide before dropping down into the green with audible plops. Soon as they landed the challengers went back to back and raised their heads to the ceiling to ‘Pppffffwoooooooooosssssh’ stereo cloud of black mist.
Exchanging a fist bump and a butt swat as the crowd cheered ‘em on, the Frighteners made their way to far corner and settled in against the wall to await the arrival of the Tag Team standard bearers
Eve and Calliope were discussing slimy strategy when the Announcer resumed his duties. “And introducing their opponents, weighing in at a combined total of two hundred and forty-four pounds, hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively, they are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are the FAWN Tag Team Champions… COSMIC NOIR!
The low lights of the Crimson Comet’s entrance were interrupted by a tongue of flame sparking out of the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. And all at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of ’Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and the Cellar Dwellers cheered to rattle the foundations in their zeal to welcome the Moll and the Meteor
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
“Hear that?” Burlingame called to her friend over the roar of the throng. “Tag Team Champions! It doesn’t get old, does it?”
“No it does not.” Treymane agreed. “Shall we show off the hardware?”
“I thought you’d never ask!” Lily undid the clasp at the small of her back and hoisted it one handed. “Smashing height requirements since 2012, people! And we’re just getting started!”
At her side, Veronica didn’t raise her championship, instead she undid the sash of her trenchcoat and pulled it open to better display the ten pounds of leather and gold strapped to her waist. “You mugs know the cost of gold these days? It’s paid in iron.” With that she brought up the replica Thompson and sprayed a line of cacophonous pyro back and forth across the aisle. When the barking iron came up empty she handed it off to a discreetly positioned FAWN tech and started down the aisle a few steps behind the Star Strider.
For tonight’s inaugural defense in a most unexpected medium, the youngest Burlingame wore a sporty black two piece featuring orange trim and swirling comets and galaxies done in an identical shade. As for Veronica she’d elected an identical base model, but gone with orange pinstripes instead of her partner’s more celestial design. Slowing slightly when they were halfway to the ring, Burlingame lifted her right hand overhead to begin a countdown that was tolled by the Cellar Dwellers.
‘THREE!’
‘TWO!’
‘ONE!’
‘BLASTOFF!’
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to spring onto the top of the wall in a single bound. From there she did what she usually limited to the apron, racing along the narrow lane to one corner, rounding it proceeding halfway to the next before she took to the skies for a twirly sort of cannonball that brought her down on one knee in the green glop! Veronica’s entrance was far less aerial but no less impressive, the Dangerous Dame earning loud roars of approval after she’d doffed her coat and climbed over the wall one leg at a time. Strolling up beside the heiress, Treymane finally undid her belt, then clinked the faceplate to Lily’s before raising it for the hard camera. Burlingame did the same and the champs allowed themselves a few more seconds of celebration before handing their prizes off to the man, the myth, the official, Merle.
Unable to suppress a grimace as the green glop squished between her toes and up over her ankles, Veronica looked at Lily and said, “Gotta be honest, I didn’t see our first defense going down like this.”
“Hey, I had to defend the Lightweight strap against Nyssa in a mud wrestling match once, this won’t be much different.” Lily replied.
“You wanna start then?”
“Excuse me? Who lost paper, rock, sciss--”
“Some people call her the Space Cowboy!” Calliope sang out as she glomped and stomped her way toward the center of the Slime Pit. “Her partner’s the Gangster of Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuud! Some people call me Maureen! Because they don’t know that’s not my naaaaaaaaame!”
Holding a hand to her mouth so Treymane couldn’t see her smile, Burlingame composed herself and said, “Go get ‘er, champ.”
Veronica sighed, turned to the challenger and closed the distance, bringing her hands up as she did so. “You’re enjoying this far too much, Daisy.” the blonde muttered. “How are you still smiling when it feels like we’re ankle deep in oatWHOAAOOOFHH!”
Cali darted in low, hooked her arms around the blonde’s knees and yanked ‘em out from underneath to send Treymane into the green with a loud PLOP! A Double Leg Takedown was no one’s idea of a finisher, yet that didn’t stop the Eclectic Eel from throwing herself atop ‘Ronnie in a Full Body Press that kept her trapped in the slime through…
ONE…
TWO…
Veronica tossed Calliope off, rolled to one knee and immediately got decked with a low-flying tackle that put her right back down! Catching hold of Treymane’s wrists even as she pressed her pert tush to the former World Champion’s chest, Cali bounced up and down while Merle counted out…
ONE…
TWO…
The Pinstripe Powerhouse kicked her legs up, hooked them around Calliope’s waist and dragged her from perched to prone with an impromptu Sunset Flip good for…
ONE…
Perhaps knowing she couldn’t hold the Frightener in place for three, Veronica wrapped her arms around Cali’s thighs and rolled onto her side while simultaneously locking her legs around opposing waist for a strong Bodyscissors! “Give up!” Treymane poured on the power with her own stems even as she kept the green-haired grappler’s legs bound with a near Bear Hug. “Give it up, Daisy! You’re not going anywhere!”
“That’s not my name, ya lousy mug!” Calliope groaned. “I’m not Maureen, either! Why can’t youse jerks get my name rigHHHHGGGGHHH!”
The Dangerous Dame crossed her ankles and squeezed that much harder. “Ask her.” she told Merle. “Ask Candace if she quitsSSAARRGGHH!”
Calliope couldn’t just slip her way out of the Scissors, so she grabbed a big handful of the glop and tossed it into Veronica’s face!
“Hey! Don‘t be cheap, Cali!” Lily shouted as the Queen of Outré Space wriggled free of ‘Ronnie’s grasp and secured a Scissors of her own.
“Deal with it, little sister!” Eve countered from the other side of the pit. “You can’t deal with a little green, you don’t deserve any gold!”
Burlingame and Choldstone continued to jaw at one another while Calliope squirmed into a seat off the blonde’s right flank. “How do you like the squeeze, copper?” Cali had snatched hold of her opponent’s wrists and was fighting hard to keep them under control. “Tell me the name of yer man on the inside or it’ll only get worse!”
“I’ll never tell you anything!” Veronica realized she was playing directly into Calliope’s nonsense, but it seemed the only appropriate response. “Now get your slimy legs offa GLLMMPPPHH!”
Calliope bound her opponent’s wrists with one hand, grabbed some gloop with another and mashed it in Treymane’s startled face! “Nuh-uh, not until you eat ALL your veggies, my cranky little copper! And don’t pout at me, we both know they taste grOOFFHH!”
‘Ronnie tore her hands free, sat up and pounded the point of her right elbow into the pit of Calliope’s tummy! One wasn’t enough to free the Magnificent Moll, neither were two or three, but a fourth loosened Cali’s trap enough for Treymane to twist onto her knees while remaining in the confines of the Scissors. “Hey, the warden put us on the honor system!” Calliope grunted as she struggled to adjust her position for a better clamp. “If you escape you’ll ruin it for the rest of usHHHRRGGGHHHHHH!”
Veronica looped both arms around Cali’s upper thighs, got to her feet and promptly turned the brunette onto her stomach while simultaneously stepping over and sitting down to secure the Boston Crab! “I’m not going anywhere, Daisy!” Treymane chided as she craaaanked back on the submission. “In fact I’m slamming the door in your face!” Feet planted flat (or as flat as possible, considering their surroundings) the blonde rose up and dropped down twice as hard, ‘Ronnie THUMPING her tush against Calliope’s glutes to ensure her tummy stayed glued in place.
BOSTON CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTvuraXSZCY
Not liking the way Calliope’s toes were getting closer and closer to the back of her own head, Merle hunkered down beside the action and asked, “What do you say, Cali? You need to throw in a towel?”
Head turned to one side so she wasn’t breathing a mouthful of green muck, tried to pull their combined weight toward the Frighteners side of the Pit with no real success. “Didn’t bring a towel, talking zebra! And even if I had, I wouldn’t throw it away, that’s just wastefNNNNGGGHHHH!”
Veronica stood up, marched several steps closer to Lily, then dropped another Butt Bomb on her opponent’s straining rump! “Tap out, Daisy.” Treymane said it sternly, though without any real malice. “You’re locked down tight and there’s nowhere to goOOOHH OOOWWWW!”
Forced to concede that the Pinstripe Powerhouse was correct, Calliope stopped fighting forward and reached back with her right hand to grab hold of Veronica’s left ankle. Merely pulling did nothing to shake Treymane’s seat, so the One Woman Freak Show worked her fingers beneath the champ’s foot and gouged into her bare sole! The painful jolt shot all the way up to Veronica’s knee and she scrambled up and away to put some distance between herself and the green-haired veteran. As for Calliope, she scrambled to all fours and crawl-clomped her way toward Eve’s outstretched hand.
“She’s making a run for it, ‘Ronnie!” Lily called to her partner. “Tag me in, I’ll deal with Eve!”
Treymane whipped around and took a single lunging step forward before she realized there was no way to catch Calliope. Grimacing as Cali made the tag, Veronica backpedaled to the opposite side of the Pit and offered her hand to Burlingame, who clapped herself in at once.
“Now this is more like it!” Eve said to no one in particular as she joined her friend in the green glop. “I know ‘tag’ is kind of a big deal for this shyt, but what do you twerps say to some tornado action?”
“Bring it on!” the Crimson Comet answered at once. “You both wanna end up facedown in this junk? You’ve got--”
“No you don’t!” Merle interrupted. “It’s hard enough to keep track of two of you at once, no way I can follow all four! Calliope, Veronica, other side of the wall, now!”
“What’re you gonna do if they don’t?” Eve challenged. “You gonna call for a DQ in a match like this? Get real, do--” Eve broke off in surprised silence when Lily picked up a handful of the slime and slung it across the challenger’s midsection. “What the f*ck do you think you’re doing?” Choldstone snapped.
“Getting your attention.” Lily chirped. “I was feeling ignored.”
The Fallen Angel of Arkham rolled her shoulders and started forward. “You’re gonna feel a helluva lot worse in a second, shrimp.”
“Bring it, big mouth!” Burlingame rushed to meet her adversary, but rather than throw herself into a lock-up, she went low and stuffed her head between Choldstone’s thighs. In the same instant she pressed her hands to the taller brunette’s thighs and straightened up as fast as she could to hurl Eve up, over and down into the glop with a resounding plop-SMACK!
The Back Body Drop took Choldstone’s breath away, but she sat up fast and would’ve been returned to verticality within seconds if Lily hadn’t palmed her shoulders and shoved her down flat. A single stomp to her belly ensured the veteran didn’t have the wind or the wherewithal to get out of the way when Burlingame turned around and took to the skies, the former Lightweight Champion whipping through a floaty back-flip that brought her THWAPPING down atop Eve’s midsection! Hooking Choldstone’s far leg as soon as the Moonsault connected, Lily pulled the other brunette’s knee up close to her chin while Merle and the Cellar Dwellers counted out…
STANDING MOONSAULT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPV9O7DaFBs
ONE…
TWO…
“HEY-GAAAAAHHH!”
Surprise and outrage from the heiress when Calliope snatched hold of both ankles and dragged her out of the pin! “Why do you wanna go inside so early, huh?” Cali giggled as she continued to pull Burlingame through the green glop. “Everyone knows the real fun doesn’t start until well after darkNNNNNGGGGHH!”
Veronica had retreated to Cosmic Noir’s side of the field but she hadn’t climbed over the wall yet which meant it was only the work of several long strides to flatten Calliope with a Clothesline! “The nice man told you to get along home, Daisy.” the Gorgeous Gangster told her flattened foe. “I think you should lisWHOOAAH!”
Eve leapt onto Treymane’s shoulders from behind, then tucked her head and leaned forward to tumble the both of ‘em down into the green, but whereas Choldstone landed in a comfortable seat, ‘Ronnie was stacked on her shoulders with both legs trapped under Eve’s arms and her butt pointed at the ceiling! Victory Roll noted, Merle swooped in to count…
VICTORY ROLL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1vc4-KvXb4
ONE…
TWO…
Lily barreled in with a tackle that broke up the predicament with a full second to spare. “Hey! ‘Ronnie’s not legal, Merle!” Burlingame shouted to the referee even as she threw herself at Eve.
Merle cursed, slapped his leg in irritation. “Dammit, that’s why we can’t have Tornado Rules in the cr--” the poor dope had to throw himself backward as Calliope raced by and took to the skies to SPLAT Veronica back into the goop with a Basement Crossbody that connected almost the instant the blonde sat up!
BASEMENT CROSSBODY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qefPRVuqWMg
“We’ve had too much candy already, Mr. Zebra!” Cali giggled as she scooped up some green and maaaaaaaassssshed it all across Treymane’s startled face. “You’re just gonna haf’ta look after all four of us!”
Elsewhere, Lily grabbed a double handful of Eve’s dark hair and twisted it into a matted ponytail she used to haul her upright. Twisting around so her back was to the veteran, Burlingame dropped to one knee and yanked Choldstone forward over her right shoulder to drop her onto her butt with a quick Hairmare! “Ever considered changing the color of your gear, baby?” Lily chided in the midst of dragging Eve to her feet. “I think green looks good on you!”
“Rrrggghhh… why don’t you kiss my assSSNNGGGHH!”
The Star Strider kept on proving her messy bona fides with another Hairmare, this one considerably more forceful than its predecessor. Electing to slip her legs around the challenger’s waist instead of going for the trifecta, Burlingame caught a Full Nelson and made the Fallen Angel groan with several seconds of hard squeezing and jostling. “Maybe you should kiss it goodbye, instead! Or better yet, show it off for the nice people!”
“Don’t you f*cking dareWHOAA NNNNGGGGGHHH!”
Alas, Lily was a Burlingame and she most certainly did dare, indeed she seemed to take great relish in reclining onto her back, drawing Eve up into her lap and then popping her hips to roll forward and SPLAT her opponent’s butt into the glop. “Want another one?” Lily chirped in Eve’s ear to ensure she was heard over the cheers brought on by the Keester Bounce. “Whadda ya say, huh? You want some more or you want to quit?”
Jaw clenched in the wake of that bludgeoning butt shock, Choldstone huffed, “I wanna put you over my knee and dish out that spanking your parents obviously never bothered WHOAAAUUGGGHH! UUNNNGHHH! AAAHHH SHYT!”
Convinced that Eve wanted a whole lot more, Lily leaned back, drew the other brunette into her lap and served up two more coccyx-crushing Keester Bounces before relinquishing the Full Nelson so she could roll onto her tummy, a shift which left Eve stacked up on her shoulders through the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Frightener popped her hips to break the cover and slide forward into a heavy seat on the smaller wrestler’s back. Quick to take advantage despite of her discombobulated state, Choldstone caught Lily’s shins in the crooks of her elbows, then slid her feet under the Maroon Meteor’s biceps and leaned forward to lay claim to her wrists-- “AAAAARRRGGGHH!” Burlingame wailed aloud as Eve craaaaaaaanked back on her wrists in agonizing Surfboard variation.
SEATED SURFBOARD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrUuTWV2Kto
“What’s wrong, travel-size?” Choldstone was all smiles as she rocked in place to put more and more strain on her opponent’s spine. “You want your hands back? Tell stripes you’ll trade ’em for the Tag Titles!”
“HELL NO!” Lily shook her head back and forth to make sure there was no misunderstanding. “You’ll have to do better than RRRHHH!”
Eve pulled her right leg back, braced that foot against the base of Lily’s skull and used her toes to twist and pull at the Crimson Comet’s hair! “You wanna tap out, pretty girl?” Choldstone taunted. “Or can I stamp that pretty little face down into the slime?”
Elsewhere on the field, Treymane had fought her out beneath Calliope’s Crossbody for a furious round of tummy to tummy skirmishing that ultimately shifted in favor of the Pinstripe Powerhouse when she made it to her knees and thum-thum-thum-THUMPED a quartet of Forearm Smashes against her opponent’s chest. Doing so quieted Cali considerably and allowed Treymane to fashion her fists into spades and dig them deep into the challenger’s green-slicked belly!
“Nnnnnnnnggggghhhhh!” Calliope squirmed like a bug on a card, started to sit up and ended up back in the glop when ’Ronnie pushed down like she was trying to drive her claws right through the bendy-back’s abs! “Guuuuhhhh… get your own candy, gumshoe!” Cali grunted. “I’ve already eaten mine!”
Veronica shook her head ’no’ worked her wrists from side to side and jabbed both thumbs into Calliope’s navel. “Shouldn’t eat so much candy before a big match, Daisy.” the blonde countered. “No wonder your tummy hurtSSHHRRRGGHH!”
The Queen of Outré Space grabbed hold of Treymane’s wrists and brought her legs up and around ‘Ronnie’s biceps crossed her shins so the big blonde’s neck was trapped in a fork created by Cali’s ankle. Pulling forward on Dangerous Dame’s wrists even as she puuuuuusssssshed out with her legs, Calliope bore down on the Lunatic’s Gogoplata and giggled, “What were you saying, gumshoe? Sounds like you got something stuck in your throaHURK!”
Veronica shoved her arms through Cali’s guard and grabbed hold of the green-haired grappler’s throat! Plowing into her rival’s upturned haunches so she could make it to one knee, Treymane gathered her reserves, then clambered to her feet without letting go of Callio--“NNNNGGGHH!” Stacked almost straight up and down by Veronica’s return to verticality, the One Woman Freak Show drew her knees in as tight as they could go, then pistoned a stiff Mule Kick into the champion’s chest! Already straining backward, Treymane took the blow flush and went sailing through the air before returning to slime with an awkward SPLORT!
“Throat’s just fine, ya mug.” Calliope giggled as she clambered to verticality. “But it felt like I stepped on something nasty there for a minute or twOH HEY EVE! KEEP STRETCHIN’ HER, I’M ON MY WAY!
Choldstone, who’d had no intention of giving up the Surfboard, nodded to her partner and rocked the hold up and down, forcing Lily to do the same. “We’re gonna have some fun now.” Eve told the squirming heiress as Cali loped in their direction. “Bit of advice? Try not to scream when your face hits the mud, it sounds really awf--”
The Monster of the Midway sprang into the air and kicked both legs up to hip level, all the better to bring the full weight of her right thigh down across the back of Burlingame’s head! Helpless to defend against the Leg Drop, Lily was driven face-first into the green with a gloppy SMECK that earned roars of delight and concern in equal measure.
Eve and Calliope counted themselves among the former and their mood only grew more festive when Choldstone relinquished the Surfboard so her partner could shovel Burlingame onto her back and splat down across her chest for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THNOOOO!
In her enthusiasm to cover Calliope hadn’t bothered to hook the leg and it cost her when the Star Strider planted her feet and bridged high enough to slide the challenger loose with half a second to spare! “Don’t worry about it, Cee.” Eve said when she saw the frown cross Calliope’s face. “We’ve slowed the little speed freak down, let’s go have some words with her partner, huh?”
“Whole sentences, even!” Cali agreed.
Leaving Lily to fend for herself in the garish green goop, the Frighteners got up and strode toward ‘Ronnie as the big blonde Destroyer made it to all fours. “Plate’s not clean yet, pretty girl!” Eve chided. “I think you better eat some more.”
“Piss off, DaisNGGH!”
Treymane didn’t seem inclined to heed the Fallen Angel’s warning, so Choldstone charged in and dropped a heavy elbow between her shoulders. Filling her hands with the Gorgeous Gangster’s hair the instant she made it to her knees, Eve looked to Calliope and said, “Know what this sourpuss needs, Cee? A Wheelbarrow ride.”
“Oooohhh yeah, those always make me feel better!”
Circling around to Veronica’s feet, the Queen of Outré Space nudged her opponent’s legs apart so she could position herself between them, then hunker down and wrap her arms around the former World Champion’s waist. Releasing her hold on Treymane’s hair once Calliope muscled the blonde’s hips off the ground, Eve got to her feet and said, “Let’s take blondie for a ride, Cee.” Hands locked tight, Calliope dipped down and Veronica up out of the muck so that her lower back was pressed to the challenger’s chest. Rather than bridge backward to deliver her opponent unto the green, Cali swung the Pinstripe Powerhouse back the way she’d came at the same instant Eve hopped up, grabbed a double handful of hair and laid out on her back while simultaneously drawing her knees tight to her chest! The assisted Inverted Lungblower lived up to its name as evidenced by the ugly ‘HHGGGHH!’ from Treymane though the residual momentum wasn’t enough to send her back up and over… until Eve pressed both feet to the champ’s chest and shoved off with a Mule Kick that allowed Cali to PLANT their prey in the muck with a huge Wheelbarrow Suplex! Bridging onto tiptoes and the crown of her head to keep Veronica pinned in place, Calliope grinned from ear to ear while Merle, Eve and the Cellar Dwellers counted out…
ONE…
TWO…
THR--“OOOFFFFHHH!”
SENTON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TVa8OXJhhY
The taut arch of Cali’s tummy proved too inviting a target for Lily to pass up and she THWHAPPED down on it with a huge Senton crushed the bridge and prevented them from going down as one & done champions in a single stroke!
“Sneaky brat!” Eve snarled as she regained her feet. “You should’ve stayed down when you had the--”
Lily splattered her with another handful of green glop, Eve forced to turn her head to the side so it didn’t catch her square in the face. “You should really rub that into your pores, babe!” Burlingame tittered as Choldstone wiped off her cheek and neck. “How’s it going to exfoliate anything if you keepOOOFFFFHHH!”
Eve lunged and pivoted in the same motion, the black-clad veteran bringing up her right leg for a Broadside Kneelift that belted her opponent across the tummy! An Overhand Forearm Smash across the shoulders straightened Burlingame up while also ensuring she was too stunned to prevent Eve from snatching a wrist in both hands. “How ‘bout I rub YOU out instead, rich girl?” Turning her attention to a section of wall on the far side of the Pit, Choldstone took a giant step away, dropped a shoulder and sent the Crimson Comet on her way with an Irish--Eve bore down tight and reeled Lily in for NO!
The heiress threw herself into a Baseball Slide that sent her skidding between Eve’s parted legs. What would’ve been a clever defensive tactic under most circumstances was genuine offense tonight because Burlingame had laid claim to one of the challenger’s wrists, which meant Choldstone was somersaulted off her feet to land flat on her back! On her feet in an instant, Lily glanced around the field and discovered that Treymane had made it to all fours while Calliope was curled up on one side clutching at her compacted midsection. “Hey ‘Ronnie, hold that pose for a sec, will ya?”
The Magnificent Moll had learned to honor these requests without question, so she simply nodded and braced her hands against the lumpy topography of the slime. “Make it fast, would ya ’Lil?”
Already circling around to approach Treymane from the opposite side, Burlingame snorted and replied, “As if I’d do it any other way.” With that she broke into a sprint, Lily almost seeming to skip over the glop rather than through it. This almost preternatural mobility ensured Burlingame was moving at a good clip when she hopped onto Veronica’s back and shot off like the big blonde was spring-loaded, the Star Strider diving headlong at a freshly-risen Eve Chold-- Lily caught the Frightener in a Front Facelock, swung around in a smooth half circle and laid out on her back to PLOP-THWHUNK the crown of her skull into the glop with a gorgeous Tornado DDT!
TORNADO DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPEy5p0iufE
Eve somersaulted through to a seat before collapsing back into the goop in what would’ve been a perfect pinning predicament if Veronica hadn’t called out, “Incoming!” Sure enough Calliope was quickly closing the distance, though it was Treymane who met her charge, or rather intercepted it, with a heavy Shoulderblock to the belly! Sweeping the Eclectic Eel off her feet with a Double Leg Takedown, Treymane pivoted so her back was to the Maroon Meteor. “Ready for a little target practice?” she called to Burlingame.
Right shoulder pointed in their direction, Lily stamped her foot and replied, “Locked and loaded!” Tightening her grip on Cali’s ankles, Veronica popped up on her heels, then laid out on her back to peel Calliope out of the muck with a catapult that made her a perfect bulls-eye for the Super Kick that Burlingame THAWHACKED offa her cheek! With Treymane still latched onto her legs, Cali had nowhere to go but backward and that was anything but pleasant because Veronica had raised her knees so that the challenger THUMPED down spine-first atop the bony daggers!
Calliope cried out and slipped off into the slime, though it was only a matter of moments before the tenacious Treymane stood up and somersaulted over her foe, the big blonde using those still-captured stems to roll the Monster of the Midway up with a Jackknife Pin good for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Calliope kicked out and flopped onto her stomach to keep the match going by the slimmest of margins.
“Keep putting the pressure on Cali!” Lily called to Veronica as the blonde made it back to her feet. “I’ll keep Eve occupied!” Quick to act on her promise, Burlingame hurried over to Choldstone and THWAPPED down on her with a big Splash just as the other brunette was starting to show signs of life. “Over on your belly, sweetie!” the Crimson Comet sniped as she turned the challenger over. “It’s time I paid you back for that Surfboard.”
“Eeerrrggghhh… I’d like to see you f*cking tryHRGH! HRGH! HRGH!”
Lily stepped onto the back of her opponent’s thighs, then snatched hold of her ankles so she could brace Eve’s shins against her own. Once that was done she settled into a crouch and bounced in place, the little brunette jabbing her heels into the slime-slicked meat of Choldstone’s thighs. “You gonna gimme your wrists or am I gonna have to take ‘em?” Burlingame asked the trapped challenger.
“You’re gonna have to kiss my ass EEEWWWW YOU NASTY BYTCH!”
Burlingame grabbed a massive clod of goop in one hand, Eve’s waistband in the other and pulled it up and out so she could stuff the green glop down the back of her foe’s briefs! Infuriated and repulsed in equal measure, Eve reached back to try and set things right only to find herself sunk deeper into the mire when Lily laid claim to her wrists. “Hey, you ever looked at the ceiling in this place?” Burlingame asked as she began to rock in place. “It’s got some neat details you can only appreciate from certain angles.”
“Bytch, stop running your goddamned mouTHHEERRRRRHHHHH!” The Maroon Meteor dropped into a squat, rolled onto her back and hoisted Choldstone into place directly overhead as the victim of a body-wracking Romero Special!
ROMERO SPECIAL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_TWkyw4ohw
“What, you don’t appreciate the architecture?” Lily pulled on Eve’s wrists and pushed on the pits of her knees to add that much more strain to the wriggling brunette. “Well you can always tap out if you wanna go back to looking at the slime!”
“NO!” Eve shook her head back and forth to emphasize the denial. “I’M NOT GONNA TAPPAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!”
“What do you say, Eve?” Merle asked the wailing battler. “Need me to call it?”
“Don’t bother!” Lily answered for her. “This punk’s not going anywhere until I say so, you go check on Veronica!”
Right about the time Burlingame was sinking in her hooks, Treymane cupped Calliope’s ears in both hands and hauled her out of the glop. “C’mon Daisy, it’s time I paid you back for that wheelbarrow ride.”
“Nuuuhhh…no need for pay-backsies.” Cali grunted. “I’m feeling generous tonWHOAAHNNNNGGGHH!”
The Magnificent Moll slipped one arm over Calliope’s shoulders, another between her thighs and scooped the challenger up just to drop her ribs-first across the post of one thigh! “What a coincidence.” Veronica got back to her feet with the Monster of the Midway still dangling from her grasp. “So am I!” She went up on tiptoe and dropped to one knee once, twice, three times, a whole quartet of Rib-breakers to ensure Cali was grunting and groaning when the blonde stood up for the last time. “Ready for one more swoop, Daisy?” Treymane didn’t actually give Calliope a choice in the matter, she just dipped her knees and tossed the challenger from the Crossbody position to a Powerbomb stall atop her shoulders! Arms locked around Cali’s upper thighs, ‘Ronnie tossed her burden forward and down to THWHUMP-SPLAT the One Woman Freak Show down with a massive Powerbomb!
POWERBOMB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mheVwZbXhpw
The impact folded Cali into an involuntary Matchbook so Veronica dropped to her knees and wedged her shoulders into the pits of Calliope’s knees to keep her glued in place. “MERLE, PIN!” Treymane shouted when the official didn’t immediately appear. A moment later he was in place to count off…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Cali didn’t so much kick out as she did slide loose of the trap at the last second. “Hey ‘Ronnie!” Lily called from several feet away. “You wanna come over here and help yourself to some brat belly?”
“Oooohhh, a treat!” Treymane smirked as she shoved Calliope away and started toward Burlingame and Choldstone.
“Duuuhhhh…don’t you f*cking dare!” Eve groaned when the shadow of the Dangerous Dame fell across her midsection. “I mean it Treymane, stay the hell bacNNNGGGHHH!”
Not about to deny herself some free shots, Veronica flattened her right hand into a paddle and delivered three vicious Overhand Slaps to the challenger’s tummy before applying a two-handed Claw! “Can you take her off my hands?” Lily asked over Eve’s yowling. “Punk’s starting to get heavy.”
“Just a sec.” Treymane relinquished the Claw to deliver a Double Axehandle to the brunette’s navel, thus ensuring Choldstone was too breathless to muster much resistance when Veronica moved to her feet and dropped to one knee. Facing the same direction as her suspended prey, the Pinstripe Powerhouse swatted the back of Burlingame’s thigh and said, “Shoot her to me, Lil’.”
The heiress pulled down on Eve’s wrists one more time, then let loose and pushed off to send the Frightener up and over so that she landed gut-first atop Treymane’s right shoulder. Looping an arm around Choldstone’s midsection once she was in place, Veronica stood up and treated her opponent to several rough squeezes. “Ready to tap, Daisy?” the Gorgeous Gangster asked.
“Nuuuhhh… not on your life, bytHHHRRHHH!” Treymane hopped up and dropped to her knees to THUMP the bony curve of her shoulder into the pit of Eve’s stomach!
Still clamped on tight in the wake of the Gutbuster, ‘Ronnie straightened up and glanced to the Star Strider. “Little more target practice?”
“Thought you’d never ask!” Backing off to a safe distance, Lily waited for Treymane to swing ‘round into position before she broke into a sprint and skipped out of the slime to THWHACK a Bicycle Kick offa the side of Eve’s noggin! Soon as the kick connected Veronica went up on tiptoe and slung her brunette forward and down, Choldstone meeting the glop with a resounding THWHAP-SPLAT!
STAR CRUNCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRaJW8EIPvM
Starfished in the wake of the thunderous Power Slam, Eve offered no resistance when Veronica slid forward and sat on her chest. She was just about to hook Eve’s legs when she spied Calliope charging toward the cover! “Gimme your back, ‘Ronnie!”
Burlingame was already in motion so Treymane just hunkered down and braced her palms against the glop, the blonde once again transforming herself into a runway for the Crimson Comet who ran up and launched herself at the would-be interloper! Cali saw her coming and started to backpedal but the muck made quick adjustment impossible and she was still very much in the line of fire when Burlingame smashed into her with a shins to shoulders Meteora that brought Calliope down hard on the back of her head and shoulders!
METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEWog_wMJk8
Snagging Cali’s upraised stems to complete a regular Matchbook at the precise moment Veronica folded Eve in half with a Reverse Matchbook, Lily nodded along with the Cellar Dwellers as Merle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Tossing those captured stems away at the sound of the bell, Veronica and Lily stood up and met between their fallen foes to exchange a stereo finger snap, butt-swat and bicep flex even as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via pin-fall and STILL the FAWN Tag Team Champions, COSMIC NOIR!”
“That was more fun that expected.” Treymane admitted after accepting her title from Merle.
“Like I said, beating girls in the mud, eerrr, slime? Muck? Whatever it is, it looks great on a winner.” Lily slapped the faceplate of her own belt to emphasize the point. “And real tacky on a loser.”
“Better make sure we don’t lose, then.” Veronica said with a confident smile.
“We won’t.” Lily agreed. “Because the ring belongs to us. Whether it’s a Mud Pit in the Madhouse basement or some zero gravity weirdness out on the edge of the solar system, the ring belongs to Cosmic Noir. And no one’s taking these from us!”
“Preach.”
Blonde and brunette clinked their titles in a celebratory toast, then raised them as a salute to the fans and a challenge to any duo who dared challenge their reign.
HERE COME THE FRIGHTENERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMP42SoWajQ
The Cellar Dwellers voiced their approval with a peal of maniacal laughter as static and the distinctive warble of a Theremin filled the basement. This was joined after several seconds by slow, distorted chuckles from a single throat, though the pitch and volume changed to frequently it could’ve been a whole chorus of lunatics. The lights went next, dimming to almost nothing before a bank of spotlights on the stage roared back in an insane panoply of colors. Delighted by this breath from worlds strange and unseen, the capacity crowd sprang to their feet when hundreds of balloons dropped from the rafters. As the balloons drifted down, a bluish-white mist rose from hidden vents, the contrasting bits of weirdness fusing into something that delighted and chilled in the same breath. Whatever you called it, the effect was compounded by the background noise, which was slowly coalescing into something more and more like mus--the howl of an electric guitar ripped through the speakers and everyone who wasn’t entirely in their right mind lent their voices to the classic carnival riff.
Stepping from gloom shoulder to shoulder, the Fallen Angel of Arkham and the Queen of Outré Space saluted their fellow ghouls with a pair of thumbs dragged across a pair of pale, bare throats.
EVE CHOLDSTONE:
CALLIOPE:
“All Hallows Evil, Cali.” Eve told her partner. “You know what that means.”
“Slime!” she answered at once. “And candy!”
“Aaaaaaaaand?”
“Gold! You think the dorks in the front office finally took my suggestion?”
“The one about replacing the belts with foil-wrapped chocolate replicas? Probably not!”
Calliope groaned and stamped her foot. “But they’re leaving so much money on the table!”
“I know, I know. Tell you what, once we’ve got the belts, we’ll get a chocolate set made.”
“Swearsies?!”
“Yup. All we’ve gotta do is beat up a gangster and a Martian.”
“So, the usual Tuesday afternoon?”
“And just as easy.”
The Frighteners started down the ramp with Calliope taking point because she simply had to cartwheel, flip, handspring or tumble when she found herself in front of a crowd. Eve however was more languid in her approach, the Haunter of the Dark glancing from side to side in case some idiots were of a mind to crash their title opportunity.
For this battle on the most mischievous night of the year, Choldstone traded her standard black leather two piece for something identically colored but in a far more slime friendly lycra. Calliope made no such concessions, the green-haired veteran dressed in electric blue sequined bikini bottoms and a black & green striped halter top. Closing on the well-padded edge of their battleground, Eve and Calliope hopped onto the top of the wall and raised their arms wide before dropping down into the green with audible plops. Soon as they landed the challengers went back to back and raised their heads to the ceiling to ‘Pppffffwoooooooooosssssh’ stereo cloud of black mist.
Exchanging a fist bump and a butt swat as the crowd cheered ‘em on, the Frighteners made their way to far corner and settled in against the wall to await the arrival of the Tag Team standard bearers
Eve and Calliope were discussing slimy strategy when the Announcer resumed his duties. “And introducing their opponents, weighing in at a combined total of two hundred and forty-four pounds, hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively, they are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are the FAWN Tag Team Champions… COSMIC NOIR!
The low lights of the Crimson Comet’s entrance were interrupted by a tongue of flame sparking out of the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. And all at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of ’Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and the Cellar Dwellers cheered to rattle the foundations in their zeal to welcome the Moll and the Meteor
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
“Hear that?” Burlingame called to her friend over the roar of the throng. “Tag Team Champions! It doesn’t get old, does it?”
“No it does not.” Treymane agreed. “Shall we show off the hardware?”
“I thought you’d never ask!” Lily undid the clasp at the small of her back and hoisted it one handed. “Smashing height requirements since 2012, people! And we’re just getting started!”
At her side, Veronica didn’t raise her championship, instead she undid the sash of her trenchcoat and pulled it open to better display the ten pounds of leather and gold strapped to her waist. “You mugs know the cost of gold these days? It’s paid in iron.” With that she brought up the replica Thompson and sprayed a line of cacophonous pyro back and forth across the aisle. When the barking iron came up empty she handed it off to a discreetly positioned FAWN tech and started down the aisle a few steps behind the Star Strider.
For tonight’s inaugural defense in a most unexpected medium, the youngest Burlingame wore a sporty black two piece featuring orange trim and swirling comets and galaxies done in an identical shade. As for Veronica she’d elected an identical base model, but gone with orange pinstripes instead of her partner’s more celestial design. Slowing slightly when they were halfway to the ring, Burlingame lifted her right hand overhead to begin a countdown that was tolled by the Cellar Dwellers.
‘THREE!’
‘TWO!’
‘ONE!’
‘BLASTOFF!’
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to spring onto the top of the wall in a single bound. From there she did what she usually limited to the apron, racing along the narrow lane to one corner, rounding it proceeding halfway to the next before she took to the skies for a twirly sort of cannonball that brought her down on one knee in the green glop! Veronica’s entrance was far less aerial but no less impressive, the Dangerous Dame earning loud roars of approval after she’d doffed her coat and climbed over the wall one leg at a time. Strolling up beside the heiress, Treymane finally undid her belt, then clinked the faceplate to Lily’s before raising it for the hard camera. Burlingame did the same and the champs allowed themselves a few more seconds of celebration before handing their prizes off to the man, the myth, the official, Merle.
Unable to suppress a grimace as the green glop squished between her toes and up over her ankles, Veronica looked at Lily and said, “Gotta be honest, I didn’t see our first defense going down like this.”
“Hey, I had to defend the Lightweight strap against Nyssa in a mud wrestling match once, this won’t be much different.” Lily replied.
“You wanna start then?”
“Excuse me? Who lost paper, rock, sciss--”
“Some people call her the Space Cowboy!” Calliope sang out as she glomped and stomped her way toward the center of the Slime Pit. “Her partner’s the Gangster of Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuud! Some people call me Maureen! Because they don’t know that’s not my naaaaaaaaame!”
Holding a hand to her mouth so Treymane couldn’t see her smile, Burlingame composed herself and said, “Go get ‘er, champ.”
Veronica sighed, turned to the challenger and closed the distance, bringing her hands up as she did so. “You’re enjoying this far too much, Daisy.” the blonde muttered. “How are you still smiling when it feels like we’re ankle deep in oatWHOAAOOOFHH!”
Cali darted in low, hooked her arms around the blonde’s knees and yanked ‘em out from underneath to send Treymane into the green with a loud PLOP! A Double Leg Takedown was no one’s idea of a finisher, yet that didn’t stop the Eclectic Eel from throwing herself atop ‘Ronnie in a Full Body Press that kept her trapped in the slime through…
ONE…
TWO…
Veronica tossed Calliope off, rolled to one knee and immediately got decked with a low-flying tackle that put her right back down! Catching hold of Treymane’s wrists even as she pressed her pert tush to the former World Champion’s chest, Cali bounced up and down while Merle counted out…
ONE…
TWO…
The Pinstripe Powerhouse kicked her legs up, hooked them around Calliope’s waist and dragged her from perched to prone with an impromptu Sunset Flip good for…
ONE…
Perhaps knowing she couldn’t hold the Frightener in place for three, Veronica wrapped her arms around Cali’s thighs and rolled onto her side while simultaneously locking her legs around opposing waist for a strong Bodyscissors! “Give up!” Treymane poured on the power with her own stems even as she kept the green-haired grappler’s legs bound with a near Bear Hug. “Give it up, Daisy! You’re not going anywhere!”
“That’s not my name, ya lousy mug!” Calliope groaned. “I’m not Maureen, either! Why can’t youse jerks get my name rigHHHHGGGGHHH!”
The Dangerous Dame crossed her ankles and squeezed that much harder. “Ask her.” she told Merle. “Ask Candace if she quitsSSAARRGGHH!”
Calliope couldn’t just slip her way out of the Scissors, so she grabbed a big handful of the glop and tossed it into Veronica’s face!
“Hey! Don‘t be cheap, Cali!” Lily shouted as the Queen of Outré Space wriggled free of ‘Ronnie’s grasp and secured a Scissors of her own.
“Deal with it, little sister!” Eve countered from the other side of the pit. “You can’t deal with a little green, you don’t deserve any gold!”
Burlingame and Choldstone continued to jaw at one another while Calliope squirmed into a seat off the blonde’s right flank. “How do you like the squeeze, copper?” Cali had snatched hold of her opponent’s wrists and was fighting hard to keep them under control. “Tell me the name of yer man on the inside or it’ll only get worse!”
“I’ll never tell you anything!” Veronica realized she was playing directly into Calliope’s nonsense, but it seemed the only appropriate response. “Now get your slimy legs offa GLLMMPPPHH!”
Calliope bound her opponent’s wrists with one hand, grabbed some gloop with another and mashed it in Treymane’s startled face! “Nuh-uh, not until you eat ALL your veggies, my cranky little copper! And don’t pout at me, we both know they taste grOOFFHH!”
‘Ronnie tore her hands free, sat up and pounded the point of her right elbow into the pit of Calliope’s tummy! One wasn’t enough to free the Magnificent Moll, neither were two or three, but a fourth loosened Cali’s trap enough for Treymane to twist onto her knees while remaining in the confines of the Scissors. “Hey, the warden put us on the honor system!” Calliope grunted as she struggled to adjust her position for a better clamp. “If you escape you’ll ruin it for the rest of usHHHRRGGGHHHHHH!”
Veronica looped both arms around Cali’s upper thighs, got to her feet and promptly turned the brunette onto her stomach while simultaneously stepping over and sitting down to secure the Boston Crab! “I’m not going anywhere, Daisy!” Treymane chided as she craaaanked back on the submission. “In fact I’m slamming the door in your face!” Feet planted flat (or as flat as possible, considering their surroundings) the blonde rose up and dropped down twice as hard, ‘Ronnie THUMPING her tush against Calliope’s glutes to ensure her tummy stayed glued in place.
BOSTON CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTvuraXSZCY
Not liking the way Calliope’s toes were getting closer and closer to the back of her own head, Merle hunkered down beside the action and asked, “What do you say, Cali? You need to throw in a towel?”
Head turned to one side so she wasn’t breathing a mouthful of green muck, tried to pull their combined weight toward the Frighteners side of the Pit with no real success. “Didn’t bring a towel, talking zebra! And even if I had, I wouldn’t throw it away, that’s just wastefNNNNGGGHHHH!”
Veronica stood up, marched several steps closer to Lily, then dropped another Butt Bomb on her opponent’s straining rump! “Tap out, Daisy.” Treymane said it sternly, though without any real malice. “You’re locked down tight and there’s nowhere to goOOOHH OOOWWWW!”
Forced to concede that the Pinstripe Powerhouse was correct, Calliope stopped fighting forward and reached back with her right hand to grab hold of Veronica’s left ankle. Merely pulling did nothing to shake Treymane’s seat, so the One Woman Freak Show worked her fingers beneath the champ’s foot and gouged into her bare sole! The painful jolt shot all the way up to Veronica’s knee and she scrambled up and away to put some distance between herself and the green-haired veteran. As for Calliope, she scrambled to all fours and crawl-clomped her way toward Eve’s outstretched hand.
“She’s making a run for it, ‘Ronnie!” Lily called to her partner. “Tag me in, I’ll deal with Eve!”
Treymane whipped around and took a single lunging step forward before she realized there was no way to catch Calliope. Grimacing as Cali made the tag, Veronica backpedaled to the opposite side of the Pit and offered her hand to Burlingame, who clapped herself in at once.
“Now this is more like it!” Eve said to no one in particular as she joined her friend in the green glop. “I know ‘tag’ is kind of a big deal for this shyt, but what do you twerps say to some tornado action?”
“Bring it on!” the Crimson Comet answered at once. “You both wanna end up facedown in this junk? You’ve got--”
“No you don’t!” Merle interrupted. “It’s hard enough to keep track of two of you at once, no way I can follow all four! Calliope, Veronica, other side of the wall, now!”
“What’re you gonna do if they don’t?” Eve challenged. “You gonna call for a DQ in a match like this? Get real, do--” Eve broke off in surprised silence when Lily picked up a handful of the slime and slung it across the challenger’s midsection. “What the f*ck do you think you’re doing?” Choldstone snapped.
“Getting your attention.” Lily chirped. “I was feeling ignored.”
The Fallen Angel of Arkham rolled her shoulders and started forward. “You’re gonna feel a helluva lot worse in a second, shrimp.”
“Bring it, big mouth!” Burlingame rushed to meet her adversary, but rather than throw herself into a lock-up, she went low and stuffed her head between Choldstone’s thighs. In the same instant she pressed her hands to the taller brunette’s thighs and straightened up as fast as she could to hurl Eve up, over and down into the glop with a resounding plop-SMACK!
The Back Body Drop took Choldstone’s breath away, but she sat up fast and would’ve been returned to verticality within seconds if Lily hadn’t palmed her shoulders and shoved her down flat. A single stomp to her belly ensured the veteran didn’t have the wind or the wherewithal to get out of the way when Burlingame turned around and took to the skies, the former Lightweight Champion whipping through a floaty back-flip that brought her THWAPPING down atop Eve’s midsection! Hooking Choldstone’s far leg as soon as the Moonsault connected, Lily pulled the other brunette’s knee up close to her chin while Merle and the Cellar Dwellers counted out…
STANDING MOONSAULT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPV9O7DaFBs
ONE…
TWO…
“HEY-GAAAAAHHH!”
Surprise and outrage from the heiress when Calliope snatched hold of both ankles and dragged her out of the pin! “Why do you wanna go inside so early, huh?” Cali giggled as she continued to pull Burlingame through the green glop. “Everyone knows the real fun doesn’t start until well after darkNNNNNGGGGHH!”
Veronica had retreated to Cosmic Noir’s side of the field but she hadn’t climbed over the wall yet which meant it was only the work of several long strides to flatten Calliope with a Clothesline! “The nice man told you to get along home, Daisy.” the Gorgeous Gangster told her flattened foe. “I think you should lisWHOOAAH!”
Eve leapt onto Treymane’s shoulders from behind, then tucked her head and leaned forward to tumble the both of ‘em down into the green, but whereas Choldstone landed in a comfortable seat, ‘Ronnie was stacked on her shoulders with both legs trapped under Eve’s arms and her butt pointed at the ceiling! Victory Roll noted, Merle swooped in to count…
VICTORY ROLL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1vc4-KvXb4
ONE…
TWO…
Lily barreled in with a tackle that broke up the predicament with a full second to spare. “Hey! ‘Ronnie’s not legal, Merle!” Burlingame shouted to the referee even as she threw herself at Eve.
Merle cursed, slapped his leg in irritation. “Dammit, that’s why we can’t have Tornado Rules in the cr--” the poor dope had to throw himself backward as Calliope raced by and took to the skies to SPLAT Veronica back into the goop with a Basement Crossbody that connected almost the instant the blonde sat up!
BASEMENT CROSSBODY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qefPRVuqWMg
“We’ve had too much candy already, Mr. Zebra!” Cali giggled as she scooped up some green and maaaaaaaassssshed it all across Treymane’s startled face. “You’re just gonna haf’ta look after all four of us!”
Elsewhere, Lily grabbed a double handful of Eve’s dark hair and twisted it into a matted ponytail she used to haul her upright. Twisting around so her back was to the veteran, Burlingame dropped to one knee and yanked Choldstone forward over her right shoulder to drop her onto her butt with a quick Hairmare! “Ever considered changing the color of your gear, baby?” Lily chided in the midst of dragging Eve to her feet. “I think green looks good on you!”
“Rrrggghhh… why don’t you kiss my assSSNNGGGHH!”
The Star Strider kept on proving her messy bona fides with another Hairmare, this one considerably more forceful than its predecessor. Electing to slip her legs around the challenger’s waist instead of going for the trifecta, Burlingame caught a Full Nelson and made the Fallen Angel groan with several seconds of hard squeezing and jostling. “Maybe you should kiss it goodbye, instead! Or better yet, show it off for the nice people!”
“Don’t you f*cking dareWHOAA NNNNGGGGGHHH!”
Alas, Lily was a Burlingame and she most certainly did dare, indeed she seemed to take great relish in reclining onto her back, drawing Eve up into her lap and then popping her hips to roll forward and SPLAT her opponent’s butt into the glop. “Want another one?” Lily chirped in Eve’s ear to ensure she was heard over the cheers brought on by the Keester Bounce. “Whadda ya say, huh? You want some more or you want to quit?”
Jaw clenched in the wake of that bludgeoning butt shock, Choldstone huffed, “I wanna put you over my knee and dish out that spanking your parents obviously never bothered WHOAAAUUGGGHH! UUNNNGHHH! AAAHHH SHYT!”
Convinced that Eve wanted a whole lot more, Lily leaned back, drew the other brunette into her lap and served up two more coccyx-crushing Keester Bounces before relinquishing the Full Nelson so she could roll onto her tummy, a shift which left Eve stacked up on her shoulders through the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Frightener popped her hips to break the cover and slide forward into a heavy seat on the smaller wrestler’s back. Quick to take advantage despite of her discombobulated state, Choldstone caught Lily’s shins in the crooks of her elbows, then slid her feet under the Maroon Meteor’s biceps and leaned forward to lay claim to her wrists-- “AAAAARRRGGGHH!” Burlingame wailed aloud as Eve craaaaaaaanked back on her wrists in agonizing Surfboard variation.
SEATED SURFBOARD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrUuTWV2Kto
“What’s wrong, travel-size?” Choldstone was all smiles as she rocked in place to put more and more strain on her opponent’s spine. “You want your hands back? Tell stripes you’ll trade ’em for the Tag Titles!”
“HELL NO!” Lily shook her head back and forth to make sure there was no misunderstanding. “You’ll have to do better than RRRHHH!”
Eve pulled her right leg back, braced that foot against the base of Lily’s skull and used her toes to twist and pull at the Crimson Comet’s hair! “You wanna tap out, pretty girl?” Choldstone taunted. “Or can I stamp that pretty little face down into the slime?”
Elsewhere on the field, Treymane had fought her out beneath Calliope’s Crossbody for a furious round of tummy to tummy skirmishing that ultimately shifted in favor of the Pinstripe Powerhouse when she made it to her knees and thum-thum-thum-THUMPED a quartet of Forearm Smashes against her opponent’s chest. Doing so quieted Cali considerably and allowed Treymane to fashion her fists into spades and dig them deep into the challenger’s green-slicked belly!
“Nnnnnnnnggggghhhhh!” Calliope squirmed like a bug on a card, started to sit up and ended up back in the glop when ’Ronnie pushed down like she was trying to drive her claws right through the bendy-back’s abs! “Guuuuhhhh… get your own candy, gumshoe!” Cali grunted. “I’ve already eaten mine!”
Veronica shook her head ’no’ worked her wrists from side to side and jabbed both thumbs into Calliope’s navel. “Shouldn’t eat so much candy before a big match, Daisy.” the blonde countered. “No wonder your tummy hurtSSHHRRRGGHH!”
The Queen of Outré Space grabbed hold of Treymane’s wrists and brought her legs up and around ‘Ronnie’s biceps crossed her shins so the big blonde’s neck was trapped in a fork created by Cali’s ankle. Pulling forward on Dangerous Dame’s wrists even as she puuuuuusssssshed out with her legs, Calliope bore down on the Lunatic’s Gogoplata and giggled, “What were you saying, gumshoe? Sounds like you got something stuck in your throaHURK!”
Veronica shoved her arms through Cali’s guard and grabbed hold of the green-haired grappler’s throat! Plowing into her rival’s upturned haunches so she could make it to one knee, Treymane gathered her reserves, then clambered to her feet without letting go of Callio--“NNNNGGGHH!” Stacked almost straight up and down by Veronica’s return to verticality, the One Woman Freak Show drew her knees in as tight as they could go, then pistoned a stiff Mule Kick into the champion’s chest! Already straining backward, Treymane took the blow flush and went sailing through the air before returning to slime with an awkward SPLORT!
“Throat’s just fine, ya mug.” Calliope giggled as she clambered to verticality. “But it felt like I stepped on something nasty there for a minute or twOH HEY EVE! KEEP STRETCHIN’ HER, I’M ON MY WAY!
Choldstone, who’d had no intention of giving up the Surfboard, nodded to her partner and rocked the hold up and down, forcing Lily to do the same. “We’re gonna have some fun now.” Eve told the squirming heiress as Cali loped in their direction. “Bit of advice? Try not to scream when your face hits the mud, it sounds really awf--”
The Monster of the Midway sprang into the air and kicked both legs up to hip level, all the better to bring the full weight of her right thigh down across the back of Burlingame’s head! Helpless to defend against the Leg Drop, Lily was driven face-first into the green with a gloppy SMECK that earned roars of delight and concern in equal measure.
Eve and Calliope counted themselves among the former and their mood only grew more festive when Choldstone relinquished the Surfboard so her partner could shovel Burlingame onto her back and splat down across her chest for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THNOOOO!
In her enthusiasm to cover Calliope hadn’t bothered to hook the leg and it cost her when the Star Strider planted her feet and bridged high enough to slide the challenger loose with half a second to spare! “Don’t worry about it, Cee.” Eve said when she saw the frown cross Calliope’s face. “We’ve slowed the little speed freak down, let’s go have some words with her partner, huh?”
“Whole sentences, even!” Cali agreed.
Leaving Lily to fend for herself in the garish green goop, the Frighteners got up and strode toward ‘Ronnie as the big blonde Destroyer made it to all fours. “Plate’s not clean yet, pretty girl!” Eve chided. “I think you better eat some more.”
“Piss off, DaisNGGH!”
Treymane didn’t seem inclined to heed the Fallen Angel’s warning, so Choldstone charged in and dropped a heavy elbow between her shoulders. Filling her hands with the Gorgeous Gangster’s hair the instant she made it to her knees, Eve looked to Calliope and said, “Know what this sourpuss needs, Cee? A Wheelbarrow ride.”
“Oooohhh yeah, those always make me feel better!”
Circling around to Veronica’s feet, the Queen of Outré Space nudged her opponent’s legs apart so she could position herself between them, then hunker down and wrap her arms around the former World Champion’s waist. Releasing her hold on Treymane’s hair once Calliope muscled the blonde’s hips off the ground, Eve got to her feet and said, “Let’s take blondie for a ride, Cee.” Hands locked tight, Calliope dipped down and Veronica up out of the muck so that her lower back was pressed to the challenger’s chest. Rather than bridge backward to deliver her opponent unto the green, Cali swung the Pinstripe Powerhouse back the way she’d came at the same instant Eve hopped up, grabbed a double handful of hair and laid out on her back while simultaneously drawing her knees tight to her chest! The assisted Inverted Lungblower lived up to its name as evidenced by the ugly ‘HHGGGHH!’ from Treymane though the residual momentum wasn’t enough to send her back up and over… until Eve pressed both feet to the champ’s chest and shoved off with a Mule Kick that allowed Cali to PLANT their prey in the muck with a huge Wheelbarrow Suplex! Bridging onto tiptoes and the crown of her head to keep Veronica pinned in place, Calliope grinned from ear to ear while Merle, Eve and the Cellar Dwellers counted out…
ONE…
TWO…
THR--“OOOFFFFHHH!”
SENTON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TVa8OXJhhY
The taut arch of Cali’s tummy proved too inviting a target for Lily to pass up and she THWHAPPED down on it with a huge Senton crushed the bridge and prevented them from going down as one & done champions in a single stroke!
“Sneaky brat!” Eve snarled as she regained her feet. “You should’ve stayed down when you had the--”
Lily splattered her with another handful of green glop, Eve forced to turn her head to the side so it didn’t catch her square in the face. “You should really rub that into your pores, babe!” Burlingame tittered as Choldstone wiped off her cheek and neck. “How’s it going to exfoliate anything if you keepOOOFFFFHHH!”
Eve lunged and pivoted in the same motion, the black-clad veteran bringing up her right leg for a Broadside Kneelift that belted her opponent across the tummy! An Overhand Forearm Smash across the shoulders straightened Burlingame up while also ensuring she was too stunned to prevent Eve from snatching a wrist in both hands. “How ‘bout I rub YOU out instead, rich girl?” Turning her attention to a section of wall on the far side of the Pit, Choldstone took a giant step away, dropped a shoulder and sent the Crimson Comet on her way with an Irish--Eve bore down tight and reeled Lily in for NO!
The heiress threw herself into a Baseball Slide that sent her skidding between Eve’s parted legs. What would’ve been a clever defensive tactic under most circumstances was genuine offense tonight because Burlingame had laid claim to one of the challenger’s wrists, which meant Choldstone was somersaulted off her feet to land flat on her back! On her feet in an instant, Lily glanced around the field and discovered that Treymane had made it to all fours while Calliope was curled up on one side clutching at her compacted midsection. “Hey ‘Ronnie, hold that pose for a sec, will ya?”
The Magnificent Moll had learned to honor these requests without question, so she simply nodded and braced her hands against the lumpy topography of the slime. “Make it fast, would ya ’Lil?”
Already circling around to approach Treymane from the opposite side, Burlingame snorted and replied, “As if I’d do it any other way.” With that she broke into a sprint, Lily almost seeming to skip over the glop rather than through it. This almost preternatural mobility ensured Burlingame was moving at a good clip when she hopped onto Veronica’s back and shot off like the big blonde was spring-loaded, the Star Strider diving headlong at a freshly-risen Eve Chold-- Lily caught the Frightener in a Front Facelock, swung around in a smooth half circle and laid out on her back to PLOP-THWHUNK the crown of her skull into the glop with a gorgeous Tornado DDT!
TORNADO DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPEy5p0iufE
Eve somersaulted through to a seat before collapsing back into the goop in what would’ve been a perfect pinning predicament if Veronica hadn’t called out, “Incoming!” Sure enough Calliope was quickly closing the distance, though it was Treymane who met her charge, or rather intercepted it, with a heavy Shoulderblock to the belly! Sweeping the Eclectic Eel off her feet with a Double Leg Takedown, Treymane pivoted so her back was to the Maroon Meteor. “Ready for a little target practice?” she called to Burlingame.
Right shoulder pointed in their direction, Lily stamped her foot and replied, “Locked and loaded!” Tightening her grip on Cali’s ankles, Veronica popped up on her heels, then laid out on her back to peel Calliope out of the muck with a catapult that made her a perfect bulls-eye for the Super Kick that Burlingame THAWHACKED offa her cheek! With Treymane still latched onto her legs, Cali had nowhere to go but backward and that was anything but pleasant because Veronica had raised her knees so that the challenger THUMPED down spine-first atop the bony daggers!
Calliope cried out and slipped off into the slime, though it was only a matter of moments before the tenacious Treymane stood up and somersaulted over her foe, the big blonde using those still-captured stems to roll the Monster of the Midway up with a Jackknife Pin good for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Calliope kicked out and flopped onto her stomach to keep the match going by the slimmest of margins.
“Keep putting the pressure on Cali!” Lily called to Veronica as the blonde made it back to her feet. “I’ll keep Eve occupied!” Quick to act on her promise, Burlingame hurried over to Choldstone and THWAPPED down on her with a big Splash just as the other brunette was starting to show signs of life. “Over on your belly, sweetie!” the Crimson Comet sniped as she turned the challenger over. “It’s time I paid you back for that Surfboard.”
“Eeerrrggghhh… I’d like to see you f*cking tryHRGH! HRGH! HRGH!”
Lily stepped onto the back of her opponent’s thighs, then snatched hold of her ankles so she could brace Eve’s shins against her own. Once that was done she settled into a crouch and bounced in place, the little brunette jabbing her heels into the slime-slicked meat of Choldstone’s thighs. “You gonna gimme your wrists or am I gonna have to take ‘em?” Burlingame asked the trapped challenger.
“You’re gonna have to kiss my ass EEEWWWW YOU NASTY BYTCH!”
Burlingame grabbed a massive clod of goop in one hand, Eve’s waistband in the other and pulled it up and out so she could stuff the green glop down the back of her foe’s briefs! Infuriated and repulsed in equal measure, Eve reached back to try and set things right only to find herself sunk deeper into the mire when Lily laid claim to her wrists. “Hey, you ever looked at the ceiling in this place?” Burlingame asked as she began to rock in place. “It’s got some neat details you can only appreciate from certain angles.”
“Bytch, stop running your goddamned mouTHHEERRRRRHHHHH!” The Maroon Meteor dropped into a squat, rolled onto her back and hoisted Choldstone into place directly overhead as the victim of a body-wracking Romero Special!
ROMERO SPECIAL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_TWkyw4ohw
“What, you don’t appreciate the architecture?” Lily pulled on Eve’s wrists and pushed on the pits of her knees to add that much more strain to the wriggling brunette. “Well you can always tap out if you wanna go back to looking at the slime!”
“NO!” Eve shook her head back and forth to emphasize the denial. “I’M NOT GONNA TAPPAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!”
“What do you say, Eve?” Merle asked the wailing battler. “Need me to call it?”
“Don’t bother!” Lily answered for her. “This punk’s not going anywhere until I say so, you go check on Veronica!”
Right about the time Burlingame was sinking in her hooks, Treymane cupped Calliope’s ears in both hands and hauled her out of the glop. “C’mon Daisy, it’s time I paid you back for that wheelbarrow ride.”
“Nuuuhhh…no need for pay-backsies.” Cali grunted. “I’m feeling generous tonWHOAAHNNNNGGGHH!”
The Magnificent Moll slipped one arm over Calliope’s shoulders, another between her thighs and scooped the challenger up just to drop her ribs-first across the post of one thigh! “What a coincidence.” Veronica got back to her feet with the Monster of the Midway still dangling from her grasp. “So am I!” She went up on tiptoe and dropped to one knee once, twice, three times, a whole quartet of Rib-breakers to ensure Cali was grunting and groaning when the blonde stood up for the last time. “Ready for one more swoop, Daisy?” Treymane didn’t actually give Calliope a choice in the matter, she just dipped her knees and tossed the challenger from the Crossbody position to a Powerbomb stall atop her shoulders! Arms locked around Cali’s upper thighs, ‘Ronnie tossed her burden forward and down to THWHUMP-SPLAT the One Woman Freak Show down with a massive Powerbomb!
POWERBOMB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mheVwZbXhpw
The impact folded Cali into an involuntary Matchbook so Veronica dropped to her knees and wedged her shoulders into the pits of Calliope’s knees to keep her glued in place. “MERLE, PIN!” Treymane shouted when the official didn’t immediately appear. A moment later he was in place to count off…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Cali didn’t so much kick out as she did slide loose of the trap at the last second. “Hey ‘Ronnie!” Lily called from several feet away. “You wanna come over here and help yourself to some brat belly?”
“Oooohhh, a treat!” Treymane smirked as she shoved Calliope away and started toward Burlingame and Choldstone.
“Duuuhhhh…don’t you f*cking dare!” Eve groaned when the shadow of the Dangerous Dame fell across her midsection. “I mean it Treymane, stay the hell bacNNNGGGHHH!”
Not about to deny herself some free shots, Veronica flattened her right hand into a paddle and delivered three vicious Overhand Slaps to the challenger’s tummy before applying a two-handed Claw! “Can you take her off my hands?” Lily asked over Eve’s yowling. “Punk’s starting to get heavy.”
“Just a sec.” Treymane relinquished the Claw to deliver a Double Axehandle to the brunette’s navel, thus ensuring Choldstone was too breathless to muster much resistance when Veronica moved to her feet and dropped to one knee. Facing the same direction as her suspended prey, the Pinstripe Powerhouse swatted the back of Burlingame’s thigh and said, “Shoot her to me, Lil’.”
The heiress pulled down on Eve’s wrists one more time, then let loose and pushed off to send the Frightener up and over so that she landed gut-first atop Treymane’s right shoulder. Looping an arm around Choldstone’s midsection once she was in place, Veronica stood up and treated her opponent to several rough squeezes. “Ready to tap, Daisy?” the Gorgeous Gangster asked.
“Nuuuhhh… not on your life, bytHHHRRHHH!” Treymane hopped up and dropped to her knees to THUMP the bony curve of her shoulder into the pit of Eve’s stomach!
Still clamped on tight in the wake of the Gutbuster, ‘Ronnie straightened up and glanced to the Star Strider. “Little more target practice?”
“Thought you’d never ask!” Backing off to a safe distance, Lily waited for Treymane to swing ‘round into position before she broke into a sprint and skipped out of the slime to THWHACK a Bicycle Kick offa the side of Eve’s noggin! Soon as the kick connected Veronica went up on tiptoe and slung her brunette forward and down, Choldstone meeting the glop with a resounding THWHAP-SPLAT!
STAR CRUNCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRaJW8EIPvM
Starfished in the wake of the thunderous Power Slam, Eve offered no resistance when Veronica slid forward and sat on her chest. She was just about to hook Eve’s legs when she spied Calliope charging toward the cover! “Gimme your back, ‘Ronnie!”
Burlingame was already in motion so Treymane just hunkered down and braced her palms against the glop, the blonde once again transforming herself into a runway for the Crimson Comet who ran up and launched herself at the would-be interloper! Cali saw her coming and started to backpedal but the muck made quick adjustment impossible and she was still very much in the line of fire when Burlingame smashed into her with a shins to shoulders Meteora that brought Calliope down hard on the back of her head and shoulders!
METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEWog_wMJk8
Snagging Cali’s upraised stems to complete a regular Matchbook at the precise moment Veronica folded Eve in half with a Reverse Matchbook, Lily nodded along with the Cellar Dwellers as Merle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Tossing those captured stems away at the sound of the bell, Veronica and Lily stood up and met between their fallen foes to exchange a stereo finger snap, butt-swat and bicep flex even as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via pin-fall and STILL the FAWN Tag Team Champions, COSMIC NOIR!”
“That was more fun that expected.” Treymane admitted after accepting her title from Merle.
“Like I said, beating girls in the mud, eerrr, slime? Muck? Whatever it is, it looks great on a winner.” Lily slapped the faceplate of her own belt to emphasize the point. “And real tacky on a loser.”
“Better make sure we don’t lose, then.” Veronica said with a confident smile.
“We won’t.” Lily agreed. “Because the ring belongs to us. Whether it’s a Mud Pit in the Madhouse basement or some zero gravity weirdness out on the edge of the solar system, the ring belongs to Cosmic Noir. And no one’s taking these from us!”
“Preach.”
Blonde and brunette clinked their titles in a celebratory toast, then raised them as a salute to the fans and a challenge to any duo who dared challenge their reign.