Post by hawkeye on Aug 9, 2021 0:16:43 GMT
The FAWNatics are settling in the stands, getting comfortable as they wait for tonight's fisticuffs to begin. The next contenders are a mystery; the match is a "Special addition." The last two times this happened, LaKeisha Bates came out and started the night taking on anyone brave enough to face the former world champion. Just in case tonight will be a three-peat, everybody's hightailing it to their seats, hoping the backside that crushed many a heroine's dreams will walk down the ramp. The house speakers blare to life and blast Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere! The fans unload their hate and love in equal measure. It looks like the original Booty Battler of FAWN is back for another Open Challenge!
Ms. New Booty
youtu.be/znUS2KqPYCw?t=42
LAKEISHA BATES
LaKeisha Bates bursts through the curtains! And The cacophony of jeers and cheers increases as she spreads her surprisingly defined arms and legs in outstretched 'V's and slaps her hands together at her crotch. Her hands move to her hips, where she views the crowd with a knowing smirk on her face, “The Man's Army” claims to hate her, but whenever the Nubian Queen deigns to grace Florida with her presence Da Man's peons act like kids on Christmas Day.
Bates stands clad in gold bikini bottoms with a thick black edging and a matching bandeau top. The letters LK are inscribed across the top in a flowing, black-glitter script. Around her waist is a wide black belt, for lack of a better term, that splits into a diamond shape around the front to frame her navel and defined abs in the center of the polygon. A pair of heavy black rings connect the top, belt, and bottoms, and a third and final ring connects the top to a black choker around her throat. Inscribed across the back of her briefs is 'RUMPSHAKA' in the same flowing black script that graces her bosom. The look is complete with flat black boots and pads stencilled with LK in gold script.
The former World AND Tag Team Champion on both sides of the southern border walks to the ring, taking her time and soaking in the crowd's excitement. Returning from her most recent sabbatical from FAWN, Bates has clearly stepped up her training, possibly for her upcoming challenge for the BMD title. Everything on LaKeisha is newly defined and in its prime, lats to traps and particularly that era-defining ass of hers. FAWNatics and Ass Addicts all agree it looks the roundest and firmest it's ever been, at least fans assume. No one would dare try to cop a feel or risk getting Rumpshaked through the pavement.
The Woman with Dangerous Curves reaches ringside and ascends the steps with all the majesty one would expect of the Nubian Queen. Bates promptly DEMANDS that the referee hold open the ropes for her, which he does, albeit with some reluctance. LaKeisha steps through the ropes, pausing ever so briefly to clench her rear as a tease to the camera before fully entering the ring.
Bates waves for a microphone, and one promptly finds its way into her hands. "That's right! I'm back again! Management has once again shown their stupidity and bias by keeping me off the Pay Per View. Even after blowing the doors off this arena when I Rumpshook that Sugerman slut through the ring into the earth's core."
The crowd's hateful energy fills the air "BOOOOO!!!" The candy-coated rookie beguiled the FAWNatics in her debut and gave LaKeisha a drubbing until the Texan lost her temper. Thrashing the blonde from pillar to post and left Debra Sugerman with the quintessential FAWN experience: defeated, naked, bound by her gear and gagged with her panties.
LaKeisha waits for a lull in the cacophony and continues with a sarcastic droll, "Yes, yes. Let's all root for the generic White girl; that's something this company doesn't have enough of, now to biddness. These call-outs have been fun, but I'm tired of clawing for a spot in the company I dragged to relevancy. Next time I'm in this ring, I'll be facing off against that lopsided-ass implanted, sawed-off runt Oreo, shitty autotune remix of me, Cassava Onika, for the Buns of Mass Destruction Championship!
The FAWNatics shift 180 degrees and let out a rousing cheer! “HAAAAAAA!!” A chunk of it is for the affable, spankable, Kylie Corps hold-out Cassava Onika. Still, most of this excitement is the fan's delight at the prospect of seeing these cross-generation rivals trade Hip Attacks once again.
Bates chokes up on the mic and stomps into the ropes facing the ramp, "So for the last time, I'm gifting Da peons in the stands and Da Man's army in the locker room a chance at greatness. But no more rookie's looking to make their name off a mine! I want the best of the best of the best to answer the call. I want a household name, a superstar, an ace of the organization. Only current, former, and soon-to-be world champions need apply. So, who's ready to step up and get up and get shaken by this rump?" LaKeisha gives herself a CRACKing spank on the said rump that made her cheeks ripple, and masochists shiver before throwing the mic over her shoulder and retreating to the far corner.
The crowd continues to buzz in anticipation for another dozen seconds or so, then an unseen woman speaks over the PA system and pierces through the white noise.
"Well, well, well… if it isn't another POSER…"
The FAWNatics don't quite recognize the voice, but they still audibly gasp at the temerity of Lakeisha's would-be challenger. The Nubian Queen had sent wrestlers to the hospital for lesser insults, and the audience can only wonder which of the ladies on the roster would be so brazen in mouthing off to a living legend.
A moment later, their question is answered, and the crowd groans in disappointment.
BIANCA SIMPSON
"That's right! It's BIANCA, bitch!" Bianca Simpson shouts into her microphone as she steps through the curtains at the top of the walkway, dressed in her usual red leotard with white boots and pads. "And I'm here to open up a can of WHOOP-ASS on this BIG, FAT PHONY for ripping off the original Bianca Simpson Open Challenge!"
The fans in attendance collectively mutter in confusion, and even Bates herself seems baffled at this latest development. Despite Lakeisha's best efforts to look hard, the hateful, intimidating scowl melts off her face, and her features scrunch into an expression of disbelief.
"Ooooooh… what's the matter, Lakeeeiiiiisha? Lil' ole me got the Rumpshaker all SHOOK?!" Bianca taunts in a childish, sing-song voice. "Bitch, you BETTER be shook! You're almost as old as my mom, yet you'll never achieve HALF of what I have!"
Suddenly the arena erupts into cheers, seemingly won over by the lanky blonde's fiery spunk and self-confidence in spite of the fact that she had yet to record a single victory in her pro wrestling career.
"Oh, it's true! It's DAMN true!" Simpson reaffirms, which whips the crowd into even more of a frenzy. "Are YOU FAWN's all-time leader in moral victories? NO! Do YOU hold the Performance Center record for longest time in the hundred-meter dash? NO! Have YOU spent nine straight days in a coma then wrestled on the tenth? NO!"
Lakeisha has no response, except to silently mouth, "What the fuck?”
"I’ve been in the ring on all seven continents, Lakeisha,” Bianca continues, the bombast in her voice giving way to esolute determination. “If hypothermia and a flock of rabid penguins couldn’t take me down, then tell me… WHAT CHANCE DO YOU HAVE?!”
Bianca spikes her microphone into the ground to a loud whine of feedback, then she unleashes a keening war-cry and sprints down the ramp with all the grace and fury of a woman who runs 10-flat in the forty-yard dash.
LaKeisha shakes her head in disbelief watching the clueless and crazy vanilla wafer charge down to the ring, “Bethany really needs to bring some colour to this roster.”
Bianca slides under the bottom rope with arms stretched out ahead, the momentum of her run making the Charlie Dawson clone skid across the rough mat chest first, making Bianca cringe and hiss as she gets up. Balling her fists, Bianca stomps over to LaKeisha like she’s about to get into a big ol’ brawl with FAWN legend. Unconcerned, Bates stands there waiting for the deluded challenger, filled with so much disdain for Simpson and her ‘talent’ that LaKeisha appeared bored. Referee Craig Long steps into Bianca’s path and places his hands on her shoulders, keeping the frenzied underdog, possibly saving her from a career-ending Rumpshakin. Ignoring Bianca’s flailing fists as they fly past him, trying to reach the unimpressed booty battler, “Get to your corners, so we can start this right. This is a match, not a bar fight.”
Simpson stops what she believed were threatening gestures and lets out a slow breath, “Right, right. I have a reputation to maintain. You’re about to see a five-star match, Mr. Long.” Craig bites down his response and nods once slowly, “uh-huh.” Bianca walks to her corner, pounding her chest and raising her arms in the air, yelling, “Wooo!” The FAWNatics, always entertained by Simpson’s false sense of success and skill, enables her behaviour with a wave of boom cheers that brings tears to the blonde’s eyes.
LaKeisha didn’t need Craig Long to ask her to go the corner; she turned around the second the zebra stopped Simpson’s charge and walked away. She had a sexy swish in her step that teased the audience that Simpson is about to up close and personal look at the heavy artillery. LaKeisha settles into the buckles with her arm hanging lazily over the top ropes while Bianca shadow boxed badly across the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Houston, Texas, she stands five feet seven inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and thirty-five pounds….” His voice trailed off when whatever was on his reference cards forces him to do a double-take. Then, clearing his throat and with little enthusiasm for this part, he said, “Ladies and gentlemen, she demands that you all bow down and show the appropriate respect for the true Buns of Mass Destruction Champion...THE NUBIAN QUEEN… LaaaKKKEEEIIISSSHHHAAA BAAATTTEEESSS!!!”
The at-capacity Orlando crowd lets out a torrent of boos that The Nubian Queen pays no mind to; instead, she turns to look directly into a camera derisively claiming, “Blink, and you’ll miss it! I’m about to end her career.”
“And introducing her opponent… from Ithaca, New York… coming in at five foot six and one hundred twenty pounds… Bianca Simpson!”
The FAWNatics let out a cheer that shakes the building. Not out of any great love for deluded damsel, mainly out of spite of for the career heel, LaKeisha Bates. Not that Bianca knew of this, she took the adulation straight to heart. Struggling not to cry, she hops onto the second rope and salutes the fans, “Thank you! Sniff This one goes out to all the Pin Pals out there!”
For those unaware, Bianca Simpson calls the few real fans she has the Pin Pals. An average person would think this refers to the cartoon The Simpsons, but Bianca is utterly unaware of the connection. She picked the name because the audience freaks out on the rare occasion she covers someone for a pin, thinking they appreciate her supreme covering technique, not realizing they’re responding to the possible miracle of Simpson winning a match. The blonde hops back down, and Referee Long motions to the timekeeper’s table.
DING!DING!
Bianca bursts out of the buckles with a shoulder lowered and ready to tear Bates through the middle. She tries to call her shot with a bellow but sounds like a newbie fan in the stands, “GorrreREHK!!” LaKeisha walks into the charging calf a few feet away from her corner and takes the tackle head-on. Effortlessly taking Bianca in a front headlock, The Rumpshaker only backs up a step or two from the Ithacan’s Spear attempt. Sneering, LaKeisha chokes up on the headlock, making a gagging Bianca slap and claw at the Bootyshocker, her flailings bouncing off LaKeisha’s chiselled form.
Bates walks the bowed over Bianca deeper into the ring, sardonically confirming the crumbling Caucasian’s earlier words, “ Yep, I’m real SHOOK right now. You almost made me lose my balance.”
Bates would have been pleased knocking out Simpson with the headlock and ending the match on a whimper. Obviously, her opponent had other plans. Swinging her left leg behind LaKeisha’s right, Bianca sweeps the stem by the knee, toppling the surprised Texan backwards. Rolling forward to avoid a self-administered DDT, Bianca forms a steady bridge with her leg is still entwined with Bates, trapping the veteran in a matchbook pin with a shocking Arm Trap Somersault Cradle!
GANNOSUKE CLUTCH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkwskOQmFqw
The arena explodes with noise seeing Simpson’s entirely unexpected display of skill; even Official Craig Long is shocked, starring at Bates’s jiggling backside a split moment before wing himself to the canvas. Half the crowd is too frenzied to count
ONE!
TWO!!
TH-LaKeisha bursts free!
The desperate veteran is a floundering tangle of limbs as she forcibly ejects Bianca off her person and rolls to all fours. She will not have the career sinking blackmark of losing to Bianca Simpson. The aforementioned jobber is on Cloud 9 as she stands up, hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of fruitless, tiring training with Camile Cosworth and Bianca finally completed a move!!!
LaKeisha and Bianca get vertical simultaneously and whirl to face each other; LaKeisha fires a big right hand with all her weight behind it that Bianca ducks by a hair. Slipping behind the Texan on a knee, Bianca throws an arm between Bates’s legs and drops to the mat to pull her larger foe to the mat. Holding for dear life onto a thicc leg, Bianca stacks Bates onto her shoulders, remembering at the last moment to go on the tips of her toes for extra leverage.
ROLL UP
youtu.be/VzhtJDVG6rQ?t=908
Nearly biting through her lip, Bianca holds Bates down for the-
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THR-Bates kicks out again!
By the skin of her teeth, LaKeisha escapes a humiliating defeat. The Dangerously Curved competitor kicks out with such force she does a complete handstand before flopping onto her face. LaKeisha scrambles to a seat while Bianca bounds behind her for the next new maneuver. Bianca presses down on the back of LaKeisha’s coif, giving her a great look at her cleavage. Bianca swings a leg over each of the Texan’s shoulders, so she’s straddling LaKeisha’s neck. Reaching down, she collects LaKeisha’s boots putting the outsoles together bending her legs into a diamond. “With a high pitched “Wooo!” Bianca hooks her ankles under LK’s and falls back to the canvas, pulling in her legs to flip LaKeisha onto her shoulders, then extending them and arcing her back to lock the pin in with a bridge. Backstage, Camile Cosworth is ugly-crying in happiness while tightly side hugging a confounded Yona park. So many days of trying to train Bianca Simpson with no discernible improvement have paid off!
MODIFIED MATCHBOOK
youtu.be/tA44Dre08OY?t=90
The Pin Pals are going NUTS. Will the supreme Jobber Queen finally break her losing streak? We’ll know in-
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THRE-LaKeisha escapes!!!!
LK twists hard to the right, getting a shoulder off the mat, saving the match and her reputation. The beleaguered booty battler kicks away Simpson and rolls several feet away to get her bearings, muttering self-admonishments to herself angrily, “Goddammit, get your shit together, LaKeisha.” Bianca does a backward somersault to her feet and pumps her fist to the crowd with a cartoonishly determined look on her face. The FAWNatics rain down positive reinforcement on the (formerly?) hapless blonde, and she drinks it up like a desert wanderer at an oasis. Feeling herself at this moment, Bianca hopes onto the second ropes of a corner and slaps at her right bicep at hollering out at the masses,”Clothesline from Hell!” Like it was a signature move hers and not something she’s attempting for the first time, either way, Simpson gets a loud reaction as she turns and hops back down to the ring floor and dead sprints towards a rising LaKeisha.
Bianca stretches out her attacking arm and yells a battle cry as she nears her target, “Maximuuumm!! Efffoor-Achk!” Going from hunched over and contemplative to standing straight and alert in the span of a blink, LK fires a Thrust Kick that lands perfectly on Bianca’s face, silencing the crowd and staggering the Ithacan. Considering Bianca ran full speed into a boot to the kisser, not falling is an accomplishment for the standard of her career. However, she’s still too rattled to stop LaKeisha from pulling her into a tight Front Facelock. Taking one of Bianca’s arms, Bates places it over her head and lifts the winless girl in the air with a Suplex hold. The fans barely have time to acknowledge Keish’s old finisher before The Nubian Queen drops to her back, driving Simpson skull first into the canvas.
BRAINBUSTER
youtu.be/YScoIRffCus?t=41
A brain-busted Bianca bounces off her skull into a seat before tipping over onto her side, legs twitching and eyes unfocused. A low moan spills from her slack lips, “Uuuhhhh….” LaKeisha forgoes the pin to make a statement. No one gets to flex on THE Lakeisha Bates. Pulling up Bianca by a limp wrist and a handful of hair, Bates gives the stunned Simpson a quick Arm Wringer and uses it to pull her into another Front Facelock. Grabbing some of Bianca’s one-piece by the hip, LaKeisha growls into the blonde’s ear, “Still think I’m a poseur, bleached Barbie?”
Some of the fog had cleared from Bianca’s mind making her coherent enough to slur an answer, “Y-yoou bet. Jusgettin’ mah second wiiiind!”
Raising Simpson mid-retort, Lakeisha lifts her 70° from the mat, walks forward three steps and throws her burden to the ground! A sweaty Bianca Simpson land with a Splat! Her face and chest take the brunt of the crash.
GOURDBUSTER
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2yuGdIJuJ8
Simpson pushes off the mat with a hand trying to shake the stars and tweeting birds loose from her field of vision. Bates snags a shoulder strap of Bianca’s red leotard and drags the ironically fan-favourite to a seat in the corner. The FAWNatics have mostly switched over from cheering Bianca to booing Bates with echoing ferocity. Ref. Craig Long tries to assert some authority, talking to her back as she heads to the far corner, “I’m not gonna let you ragdoll Simpson, go for a pin soon, or I’ll have to end it myself.”
LaKeisha derisively waves him off as she backs into the corner and grabs the top ropes, “I’ll end the White Hope soon, save your bias for the next match.” The Bootyshocker pulls herself into a run, her boots echoing heavily on the thinly padded plywood LaKeisha speeds across the expanse of the ring and twisting at the last moment to blast Bianca in the face with her right glute
CORNER HIP ATTACK
youtu.be/ZHQdpnoFWS0?list=PLeRPsdtvusXikFAlFp0SFvMOT6E8kSips&t=481
Simpson learns having your head between Bates’s rock-hard ass and the leather-padded steel of the turnbuckle is a bad situation, indeed. The stadium lets out a booming groan of sympathy, “OOOOOHHHH!!!” As they watch LaKeisha live up to her notoriety at the expense of Bianca breaking out of hers. Simpson flops to the side and instinctively tries to roll out under the bottom rope to safety but Bates digs her tines into the battered jobber’s scalp and drags her on her knees back into the ring, whimpering.
With several follicle-straining yanks, LaKeisha pulls Bianca up till she’s somewhat vertical. The Ithacan has to lean heavily against the Bootyshocker, one cheek resting against the swell of Bate’s bosom while limps hang down swaying with the air conditioning. The former World Champ takes two handfuls of flaxen hair and jerks Bianca’s head back so she can look into the challenger’s concussed face.
“Still wanna talk trash? Huh!” LK spits at a cringing Simpson, “I wanted a heavy-hitter for my last challenge. Instead, I get you! This is bullshi-!” LaKeisha’s tirade is interrupted by a CRACKing bytch slap Bianca fires across the veteran’s cheek whipping her head to the side and getting a sizable pop from the crowd. Bianca places her hands on LaKeisha’s under-lauded breasts and shoves her away, subconsciously giving them a good squeeze before separating. Putting up her dukes like an old-timey boxer, Bianca sways on unsteady boots mumbling to a fuming and now red-cheeked Bates, “Howheavy waz tha? Chump!”
On what Bianca thought was a scathing insult, she took a couple of steps back and leapt forward with a Yoona Park-style Superman Punch! If it had landed, it would have been a real teeth rattler. Instead, LaKeisha leans to dodging the fist by centimetres and near disembowels Bianca with a kneelift. The blonde turns green and almost crumples to the canvas, prostrated. Bates bends down to take an unresisting Simpson by the ears and folds her thighs to calves, face-up on the mat.
Ma Simpson’s baby girl lies there, gurgling in pain and massaging her almost perforated middle. A shadow crosses Bianca’s pained face; she opens her pain squinted eyes to see the fearsome and beautifully bulbous backside of LaKeisha Bates eclipsing the houselights and signalling the end of the match. Straddling Simpson’s stomach, LaKeisha looks down over her shoulder while she reaches back and takes two kneading handfuls of cheek meat, “I’m ending this farce now. Don’t prolong the inevitable, and you won’t wake up in the buff.”
Moving like a run-down animatronic, Bianca pitifully raises her arms with hands curled into loose fists. Her voice is a garbled murmur compared to the cocky tone she had before the match, “I’m just… getting my… third wind, Yoummphm..”
While Bianca utters denials of reality, Bates bends down and collects the jobber’s ragdoll-like arms by the wrist and pulls them up. Stepping back to have a boot on either side of Bianca’s head, LaKeisha yanks the blonde up till Simpson’s mug hits gold lycra-covered crotch. LK looks directly into the camera while she dials up the pressure on the headscissors; her firm thighs turn diamond-hard when they flex into a beautiful definition. High-pitched muffled screams and whines from the trapped Bianca, her kick wildly trying to escape what her subconscious saw as certain death if she remained pressed against the Nubian Queen’s nethers.
Bates silently mouths her following words and blows a kiss to the camera, A message and challenge for her next opponent.
“Buns. of Mass. Destruction.” Smooch.
BAM
Lakeisha Bates drops The Rumpshaker with brutal force! The ring floor and ropes are quaking in tune with the jiggles of LaKeisha’s ass. Bianca’s boots somehow seem loose on her feet, the power of the Bootyshocker’s finisher nearly blowing them off. Out of fear for Bianca’s wellbeing, Ref. Craig Long dives to make a superficial count. LaKeisha crosses her arms under her chest, staring into the distance such confidence in her victory it borders on ennui. One...Two… Three!!!
DING!DING!DING!
“Your winner via Pinfall, LaKeisha Bates!!”
The Fort Worth native gives Simpson’s nose a hands-free pinch that nearly breaks the bone before she releases and stands up. LaKeisha doesn’t move away from the beaten Bianca, making the Official raise her hand as she stands over the woman she’s pulverized. Holding the pose just long enough for a good Gladiatrix shot, LaKeisha tugs her arm free from Craig Long and starts shit-talking the fans while flipping them the bird, “Y’all really thought this loser was going to get her first win offa ME? You must be crazy!”
Bates was stewing in a broth of boos, but now the fans’ reaction was taking on an angry edge. “BOOOO!!!” The winner of the match paid them no mind. Bates steps away to Simpson’s side and reaches behind to insert a finger from each hand under her gold bikini bottoms and gently pulls them into something more thong-like(the FAWNatics’ reactions suddenly becoming much more positive).
LaKeisha takes both hands and runs them up, down, across and in between those glorious glutes collecting every drop of sweat she could. Satisfied with the amount of perspiration collected, LaKeisha flicks her hands out covering an unconscious Bianca’s face with a fine mist, “Closest you’ll come to the taste of success, you deluded vanilla wafer.”
LaKeisha Bates gives Bianca a parting stomp to the belly and walks out of the ring. Next time she’s under FAWN’s spotlight, she’ll be fighting for gold.
Ms. New Booty
youtu.be/znUS2KqPYCw?t=42
LAKEISHA BATES
LaKeisha Bates bursts through the curtains! And The cacophony of jeers and cheers increases as she spreads her surprisingly defined arms and legs in outstretched 'V's and slaps her hands together at her crotch. Her hands move to her hips, where she views the crowd with a knowing smirk on her face, “The Man's Army” claims to hate her, but whenever the Nubian Queen deigns to grace Florida with her presence Da Man's peons act like kids on Christmas Day.
Bates stands clad in gold bikini bottoms with a thick black edging and a matching bandeau top. The letters LK are inscribed across the top in a flowing, black-glitter script. Around her waist is a wide black belt, for lack of a better term, that splits into a diamond shape around the front to frame her navel and defined abs in the center of the polygon. A pair of heavy black rings connect the top, belt, and bottoms, and a third and final ring connects the top to a black choker around her throat. Inscribed across the back of her briefs is 'RUMPSHAKA' in the same flowing black script that graces her bosom. The look is complete with flat black boots and pads stencilled with LK in gold script.
The former World AND Tag Team Champion on both sides of the southern border walks to the ring, taking her time and soaking in the crowd's excitement. Returning from her most recent sabbatical from FAWN, Bates has clearly stepped up her training, possibly for her upcoming challenge for the BMD title. Everything on LaKeisha is newly defined and in its prime, lats to traps and particularly that era-defining ass of hers. FAWNatics and Ass Addicts all agree it looks the roundest and firmest it's ever been, at least fans assume. No one would dare try to cop a feel or risk getting Rumpshaked through the pavement.
The Woman with Dangerous Curves reaches ringside and ascends the steps with all the majesty one would expect of the Nubian Queen. Bates promptly DEMANDS that the referee hold open the ropes for her, which he does, albeit with some reluctance. LaKeisha steps through the ropes, pausing ever so briefly to clench her rear as a tease to the camera before fully entering the ring.
Bates waves for a microphone, and one promptly finds its way into her hands. "That's right! I'm back again! Management has once again shown their stupidity and bias by keeping me off the Pay Per View. Even after blowing the doors off this arena when I Rumpshook that Sugerman slut through the ring into the earth's core."
The crowd's hateful energy fills the air "BOOOOO!!!" The candy-coated rookie beguiled the FAWNatics in her debut and gave LaKeisha a drubbing until the Texan lost her temper. Thrashing the blonde from pillar to post and left Debra Sugerman with the quintessential FAWN experience: defeated, naked, bound by her gear and gagged with her panties.
LaKeisha waits for a lull in the cacophony and continues with a sarcastic droll, "Yes, yes. Let's all root for the generic White girl; that's something this company doesn't have enough of, now to biddness. These call-outs have been fun, but I'm tired of clawing for a spot in the company I dragged to relevancy. Next time I'm in this ring, I'll be facing off against that lopsided-ass implanted, sawed-off runt Oreo, shitty autotune remix of me, Cassava Onika, for the Buns of Mass Destruction Championship!
The FAWNatics shift 180 degrees and let out a rousing cheer! “HAAAAAAA!!” A chunk of it is for the affable, spankable, Kylie Corps hold-out Cassava Onika. Still, most of this excitement is the fan's delight at the prospect of seeing these cross-generation rivals trade Hip Attacks once again.
Bates chokes up on the mic and stomps into the ropes facing the ramp, "So for the last time, I'm gifting Da peons in the stands and Da Man's army in the locker room a chance at greatness. But no more rookie's looking to make their name off a mine! I want the best of the best of the best to answer the call. I want a household name, a superstar, an ace of the organization. Only current, former, and soon-to-be world champions need apply. So, who's ready to step up and get up and get shaken by this rump?" LaKeisha gives herself a CRACKing spank on the said rump that made her cheeks ripple, and masochists shiver before throwing the mic over her shoulder and retreating to the far corner.
The crowd continues to buzz in anticipation for another dozen seconds or so, then an unseen woman speaks over the PA system and pierces through the white noise.
"Well, well, well… if it isn't another POSER…"
The FAWNatics don't quite recognize the voice, but they still audibly gasp at the temerity of Lakeisha's would-be challenger. The Nubian Queen had sent wrestlers to the hospital for lesser insults, and the audience can only wonder which of the ladies on the roster would be so brazen in mouthing off to a living legend.
A moment later, their question is answered, and the crowd groans in disappointment.
BIANCA SIMPSON
"That's right! It's BIANCA, bitch!" Bianca Simpson shouts into her microphone as she steps through the curtains at the top of the walkway, dressed in her usual red leotard with white boots and pads. "And I'm here to open up a can of WHOOP-ASS on this BIG, FAT PHONY for ripping off the original Bianca Simpson Open Challenge!"
The fans in attendance collectively mutter in confusion, and even Bates herself seems baffled at this latest development. Despite Lakeisha's best efforts to look hard, the hateful, intimidating scowl melts off her face, and her features scrunch into an expression of disbelief.
"Ooooooh… what's the matter, Lakeeeiiiiisha? Lil' ole me got the Rumpshaker all SHOOK?!" Bianca taunts in a childish, sing-song voice. "Bitch, you BETTER be shook! You're almost as old as my mom, yet you'll never achieve HALF of what I have!"
Suddenly the arena erupts into cheers, seemingly won over by the lanky blonde's fiery spunk and self-confidence in spite of the fact that she had yet to record a single victory in her pro wrestling career.
"Oh, it's true! It's DAMN true!" Simpson reaffirms, which whips the crowd into even more of a frenzy. "Are YOU FAWN's all-time leader in moral victories? NO! Do YOU hold the Performance Center record for longest time in the hundred-meter dash? NO! Have YOU spent nine straight days in a coma then wrestled on the tenth? NO!"
Lakeisha has no response, except to silently mouth, "What the fuck?”
"I’ve been in the ring on all seven continents, Lakeisha,” Bianca continues, the bombast in her voice giving way to esolute determination. “If hypothermia and a flock of rabid penguins couldn’t take me down, then tell me… WHAT CHANCE DO YOU HAVE?!”
Bianca spikes her microphone into the ground to a loud whine of feedback, then she unleashes a keening war-cry and sprints down the ramp with all the grace and fury of a woman who runs 10-flat in the forty-yard dash.
LaKeisha shakes her head in disbelief watching the clueless and crazy vanilla wafer charge down to the ring, “Bethany really needs to bring some colour to this roster.”
Bianca slides under the bottom rope with arms stretched out ahead, the momentum of her run making the Charlie Dawson clone skid across the rough mat chest first, making Bianca cringe and hiss as she gets up. Balling her fists, Bianca stomps over to LaKeisha like she’s about to get into a big ol’ brawl with FAWN legend. Unconcerned, Bates stands there waiting for the deluded challenger, filled with so much disdain for Simpson and her ‘talent’ that LaKeisha appeared bored. Referee Craig Long steps into Bianca’s path and places his hands on her shoulders, keeping the frenzied underdog, possibly saving her from a career-ending Rumpshakin. Ignoring Bianca’s flailing fists as they fly past him, trying to reach the unimpressed booty battler, “Get to your corners, so we can start this right. This is a match, not a bar fight.”
Simpson stops what she believed were threatening gestures and lets out a slow breath, “Right, right. I have a reputation to maintain. You’re about to see a five-star match, Mr. Long.” Craig bites down his response and nods once slowly, “uh-huh.” Bianca walks to her corner, pounding her chest and raising her arms in the air, yelling, “Wooo!” The FAWNatics, always entertained by Simpson’s false sense of success and skill, enables her behaviour with a wave of boom cheers that brings tears to the blonde’s eyes.
LaKeisha didn’t need Craig Long to ask her to go the corner; she turned around the second the zebra stopped Simpson’s charge and walked away. She had a sexy swish in her step that teased the audience that Simpson is about to up close and personal look at the heavy artillery. LaKeisha settles into the buckles with her arm hanging lazily over the top ropes while Bianca shadow boxed badly across the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Houston, Texas, she stands five feet seven inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and thirty-five pounds….” His voice trailed off when whatever was on his reference cards forces him to do a double-take. Then, clearing his throat and with little enthusiasm for this part, he said, “Ladies and gentlemen, she demands that you all bow down and show the appropriate respect for the true Buns of Mass Destruction Champion...THE NUBIAN QUEEN… LaaaKKKEEEIIISSSHHHAAA BAAATTTEEESSS!!!”
The at-capacity Orlando crowd lets out a torrent of boos that The Nubian Queen pays no mind to; instead, she turns to look directly into a camera derisively claiming, “Blink, and you’ll miss it! I’m about to end her career.”
“And introducing her opponent… from Ithaca, New York… coming in at five foot six and one hundred twenty pounds… Bianca Simpson!”
The FAWNatics let out a cheer that shakes the building. Not out of any great love for deluded damsel, mainly out of spite of for the career heel, LaKeisha Bates. Not that Bianca knew of this, she took the adulation straight to heart. Struggling not to cry, she hops onto the second rope and salutes the fans, “Thank you! Sniff This one goes out to all the Pin Pals out there!”
For those unaware, Bianca Simpson calls the few real fans she has the Pin Pals. An average person would think this refers to the cartoon The Simpsons, but Bianca is utterly unaware of the connection. She picked the name because the audience freaks out on the rare occasion she covers someone for a pin, thinking they appreciate her supreme covering technique, not realizing they’re responding to the possible miracle of Simpson winning a match. The blonde hops back down, and Referee Long motions to the timekeeper’s table.
DING!DING!
Bianca bursts out of the buckles with a shoulder lowered and ready to tear Bates through the middle. She tries to call her shot with a bellow but sounds like a newbie fan in the stands, “GorrreREHK!!” LaKeisha walks into the charging calf a few feet away from her corner and takes the tackle head-on. Effortlessly taking Bianca in a front headlock, The Rumpshaker only backs up a step or two from the Ithacan’s Spear attempt. Sneering, LaKeisha chokes up on the headlock, making a gagging Bianca slap and claw at the Bootyshocker, her flailings bouncing off LaKeisha’s chiselled form.
Bates walks the bowed over Bianca deeper into the ring, sardonically confirming the crumbling Caucasian’s earlier words, “ Yep, I’m real SHOOK right now. You almost made me lose my balance.”
Bates would have been pleased knocking out Simpson with the headlock and ending the match on a whimper. Obviously, her opponent had other plans. Swinging her left leg behind LaKeisha’s right, Bianca sweeps the stem by the knee, toppling the surprised Texan backwards. Rolling forward to avoid a self-administered DDT, Bianca forms a steady bridge with her leg is still entwined with Bates, trapping the veteran in a matchbook pin with a shocking Arm Trap Somersault Cradle!
GANNOSUKE CLUTCH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkwskOQmFqw
The arena explodes with noise seeing Simpson’s entirely unexpected display of skill; even Official Craig Long is shocked, starring at Bates’s jiggling backside a split moment before wing himself to the canvas. Half the crowd is too frenzied to count
ONE!
TWO!!
TH-LaKeisha bursts free!
The desperate veteran is a floundering tangle of limbs as she forcibly ejects Bianca off her person and rolls to all fours. She will not have the career sinking blackmark of losing to Bianca Simpson. The aforementioned jobber is on Cloud 9 as she stands up, hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of fruitless, tiring training with Camile Cosworth and Bianca finally completed a move!!!
LaKeisha and Bianca get vertical simultaneously and whirl to face each other; LaKeisha fires a big right hand with all her weight behind it that Bianca ducks by a hair. Slipping behind the Texan on a knee, Bianca throws an arm between Bates’s legs and drops to the mat to pull her larger foe to the mat. Holding for dear life onto a thicc leg, Bianca stacks Bates onto her shoulders, remembering at the last moment to go on the tips of her toes for extra leverage.
ROLL UP
youtu.be/VzhtJDVG6rQ?t=908
Nearly biting through her lip, Bianca holds Bates down for the-
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THR-Bates kicks out again!
By the skin of her teeth, LaKeisha escapes a humiliating defeat. The Dangerously Curved competitor kicks out with such force she does a complete handstand before flopping onto her face. LaKeisha scrambles to a seat while Bianca bounds behind her for the next new maneuver. Bianca presses down on the back of LaKeisha’s coif, giving her a great look at her cleavage. Bianca swings a leg over each of the Texan’s shoulders, so she’s straddling LaKeisha’s neck. Reaching down, she collects LaKeisha’s boots putting the outsoles together bending her legs into a diamond. “With a high pitched “Wooo!” Bianca hooks her ankles under LK’s and falls back to the canvas, pulling in her legs to flip LaKeisha onto her shoulders, then extending them and arcing her back to lock the pin in with a bridge. Backstage, Camile Cosworth is ugly-crying in happiness while tightly side hugging a confounded Yona park. So many days of trying to train Bianca Simpson with no discernible improvement have paid off!
MODIFIED MATCHBOOK
youtu.be/tA44Dre08OY?t=90
The Pin Pals are going NUTS. Will the supreme Jobber Queen finally break her losing streak? We’ll know in-
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THRE-LaKeisha escapes!!!!
LK twists hard to the right, getting a shoulder off the mat, saving the match and her reputation. The beleaguered booty battler kicks away Simpson and rolls several feet away to get her bearings, muttering self-admonishments to herself angrily, “Goddammit, get your shit together, LaKeisha.” Bianca does a backward somersault to her feet and pumps her fist to the crowd with a cartoonishly determined look on her face. The FAWNatics rain down positive reinforcement on the (formerly?) hapless blonde, and she drinks it up like a desert wanderer at an oasis. Feeling herself at this moment, Bianca hopes onto the second ropes of a corner and slaps at her right bicep at hollering out at the masses,”Clothesline from Hell!” Like it was a signature move hers and not something she’s attempting for the first time, either way, Simpson gets a loud reaction as she turns and hops back down to the ring floor and dead sprints towards a rising LaKeisha.
Bianca stretches out her attacking arm and yells a battle cry as she nears her target, “Maximuuumm!! Efffoor-Achk!” Going from hunched over and contemplative to standing straight and alert in the span of a blink, LK fires a Thrust Kick that lands perfectly on Bianca’s face, silencing the crowd and staggering the Ithacan. Considering Bianca ran full speed into a boot to the kisser, not falling is an accomplishment for the standard of her career. However, she’s still too rattled to stop LaKeisha from pulling her into a tight Front Facelock. Taking one of Bianca’s arms, Bates places it over her head and lifts the winless girl in the air with a Suplex hold. The fans barely have time to acknowledge Keish’s old finisher before The Nubian Queen drops to her back, driving Simpson skull first into the canvas.
BRAINBUSTER
youtu.be/YScoIRffCus?t=41
A brain-busted Bianca bounces off her skull into a seat before tipping over onto her side, legs twitching and eyes unfocused. A low moan spills from her slack lips, “Uuuhhhh….” LaKeisha forgoes the pin to make a statement. No one gets to flex on THE Lakeisha Bates. Pulling up Bianca by a limp wrist and a handful of hair, Bates gives the stunned Simpson a quick Arm Wringer and uses it to pull her into another Front Facelock. Grabbing some of Bianca’s one-piece by the hip, LaKeisha growls into the blonde’s ear, “Still think I’m a poseur, bleached Barbie?”
Some of the fog had cleared from Bianca’s mind making her coherent enough to slur an answer, “Y-yoou bet. Jusgettin’ mah second wiiiind!”
Raising Simpson mid-retort, Lakeisha lifts her 70° from the mat, walks forward three steps and throws her burden to the ground! A sweaty Bianca Simpson land with a Splat! Her face and chest take the brunt of the crash.
GOURDBUSTER
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2yuGdIJuJ8
Simpson pushes off the mat with a hand trying to shake the stars and tweeting birds loose from her field of vision. Bates snags a shoulder strap of Bianca’s red leotard and drags the ironically fan-favourite to a seat in the corner. The FAWNatics have mostly switched over from cheering Bianca to booing Bates with echoing ferocity. Ref. Craig Long tries to assert some authority, talking to her back as she heads to the far corner, “I’m not gonna let you ragdoll Simpson, go for a pin soon, or I’ll have to end it myself.”
LaKeisha derisively waves him off as she backs into the corner and grabs the top ropes, “I’ll end the White Hope soon, save your bias for the next match.” The Bootyshocker pulls herself into a run, her boots echoing heavily on the thinly padded plywood LaKeisha speeds across the expanse of the ring and twisting at the last moment to blast Bianca in the face with her right glute
CORNER HIP ATTACK
youtu.be/ZHQdpnoFWS0?list=PLeRPsdtvusXikFAlFp0SFvMOT6E8kSips&t=481
Simpson learns having your head between Bates’s rock-hard ass and the leather-padded steel of the turnbuckle is a bad situation, indeed. The stadium lets out a booming groan of sympathy, “OOOOOHHHH!!!” As they watch LaKeisha live up to her notoriety at the expense of Bianca breaking out of hers. Simpson flops to the side and instinctively tries to roll out under the bottom rope to safety but Bates digs her tines into the battered jobber’s scalp and drags her on her knees back into the ring, whimpering.
With several follicle-straining yanks, LaKeisha pulls Bianca up till she’s somewhat vertical. The Ithacan has to lean heavily against the Bootyshocker, one cheek resting against the swell of Bate’s bosom while limps hang down swaying with the air conditioning. The former World Champ takes two handfuls of flaxen hair and jerks Bianca’s head back so she can look into the challenger’s concussed face.
“Still wanna talk trash? Huh!” LK spits at a cringing Simpson, “I wanted a heavy-hitter for my last challenge. Instead, I get you! This is bullshi-!” LaKeisha’s tirade is interrupted by a CRACKing bytch slap Bianca fires across the veteran’s cheek whipping her head to the side and getting a sizable pop from the crowd. Bianca places her hands on LaKeisha’s under-lauded breasts and shoves her away, subconsciously giving them a good squeeze before separating. Putting up her dukes like an old-timey boxer, Bianca sways on unsteady boots mumbling to a fuming and now red-cheeked Bates, “Howheavy waz tha? Chump!”
On what Bianca thought was a scathing insult, she took a couple of steps back and leapt forward with a Yoona Park-style Superman Punch! If it had landed, it would have been a real teeth rattler. Instead, LaKeisha leans to dodging the fist by centimetres and near disembowels Bianca with a kneelift. The blonde turns green and almost crumples to the canvas, prostrated. Bates bends down to take an unresisting Simpson by the ears and folds her thighs to calves, face-up on the mat.
Ma Simpson’s baby girl lies there, gurgling in pain and massaging her almost perforated middle. A shadow crosses Bianca’s pained face; she opens her pain squinted eyes to see the fearsome and beautifully bulbous backside of LaKeisha Bates eclipsing the houselights and signalling the end of the match. Straddling Simpson’s stomach, LaKeisha looks down over her shoulder while she reaches back and takes two kneading handfuls of cheek meat, “I’m ending this farce now. Don’t prolong the inevitable, and you won’t wake up in the buff.”
Moving like a run-down animatronic, Bianca pitifully raises her arms with hands curled into loose fists. Her voice is a garbled murmur compared to the cocky tone she had before the match, “I’m just… getting my… third wind, Yoummphm..”
While Bianca utters denials of reality, Bates bends down and collects the jobber’s ragdoll-like arms by the wrist and pulls them up. Stepping back to have a boot on either side of Bianca’s head, LaKeisha yanks the blonde up till Simpson’s mug hits gold lycra-covered crotch. LK looks directly into the camera while she dials up the pressure on the headscissors; her firm thighs turn diamond-hard when they flex into a beautiful definition. High-pitched muffled screams and whines from the trapped Bianca, her kick wildly trying to escape what her subconscious saw as certain death if she remained pressed against the Nubian Queen’s nethers.
Bates silently mouths her following words and blows a kiss to the camera, A message and challenge for her next opponent.
“Buns. of Mass. Destruction.” Smooch.
BAM
Lakeisha Bates drops The Rumpshaker with brutal force! The ring floor and ropes are quaking in tune with the jiggles of LaKeisha’s ass. Bianca’s boots somehow seem loose on her feet, the power of the Bootyshocker’s finisher nearly blowing them off. Out of fear for Bianca’s wellbeing, Ref. Craig Long dives to make a superficial count. LaKeisha crosses her arms under her chest, staring into the distance such confidence in her victory it borders on ennui. One...Two… Three!!!
DING!DING!DING!
“Your winner via Pinfall, LaKeisha Bates!!”
The Fort Worth native gives Simpson’s nose a hands-free pinch that nearly breaks the bone before she releases and stands up. LaKeisha doesn’t move away from the beaten Bianca, making the Official raise her hand as she stands over the woman she’s pulverized. Holding the pose just long enough for a good Gladiatrix shot, LaKeisha tugs her arm free from Craig Long and starts shit-talking the fans while flipping them the bird, “Y’all really thought this loser was going to get her first win offa ME? You must be crazy!”
Bates was stewing in a broth of boos, but now the fans’ reaction was taking on an angry edge. “BOOOO!!!” The winner of the match paid them no mind. Bates steps away to Simpson’s side and reaches behind to insert a finger from each hand under her gold bikini bottoms and gently pulls them into something more thong-like(the FAWNatics’ reactions suddenly becoming much more positive).
LaKeisha takes both hands and runs them up, down, across and in between those glorious glutes collecting every drop of sweat she could. Satisfied with the amount of perspiration collected, LaKeisha flicks her hands out covering an unconscious Bianca’s face with a fine mist, “Closest you’ll come to the taste of success, you deluded vanilla wafer.”
LaKeisha Bates gives Bianca a parting stomp to the belly and walks out of the ring. Next time she’s under FAWN’s spotlight, she’ll be fighting for gold.