Post by hawkeye on Jul 5, 2021 14:39:15 GMT
“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Belasco Maine, she stands at five feet seven inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and thirty-three pounds, she is the First Degree Femme Fatale and the reigning and defending Queen of the Madhouse! They call her MISS MURDER, she is ELISE WINTERREST!”
OUT OF THE BLACK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d_C5b-BD4
A veritable whirlwind of disdain and ill will arose from all corners of the arena at this pronouncement, the collected vitriol of the FAWNatics growing all the louder once the pounding, staccato drumbeat of Royal Blood’s ‘Out of the Black’ oozed from the speakers. A few seconds later Elise stepped into view and spread her arms wide, the First Degree Femme Fatale brazenly challenging this miserable collection of oxygen wasters to give her the full force of their hatred. Give ’em an A for effort, unfortunately it wasn’t nearly enough to faze the icy Manipulator. Or the house lights for that matter, as they sank into gloom before blazing forth in an eerie, fiery red. Galvanized by that which was supposed to stymie her, Elise lifted a hand to the rafters, then tipped her head backward and drew an index finger across her exposed throat. “Did you think Spring Break was the lowest I could bring sweet Lyssa? That was just a warm-up, a misdemeanor, if you will. The real atrocities start tonight.” Eager to share her cruel plans with the world at large, the Malicious Mainer turned her attention to the squared circle and started down the aisle.
ELISE WINTERREST:
Barely noting the wall of disgust now that she’d turned her attention elsewhere, Elise was a vision of icy calm in her fog gray ‘JUSTIFIABLE?’ tank-top, a fine example of sartorial viciousness that offered up a fine view of her lycra-sheathed midsection as well as her matching black elbow and knee pads and gleaming black boots that ended an inch south of her knee. Pausing mid-journey, Winterrest peeled the garment over her head and dropped it beside her to fully reveal the snug black one-piece made all the more striking by the quartet of crimson ‘slashes’ that started at the right shoulder and ran on a sharp diagonal to her left hip.
Turning to glare at some grubby idiot that possessed the temerity to harangue her pre-match ritual, Elise hooked left toward the dope and was not surprised to find him holding a sign that read: THE FRUMP FATALE WILL KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!
Offering the man a beatific smile, Winterrest raised a middle finger inches from his nose as she murmured along with her anthem. “So don’t breathe when I talk cuz’ you haven’t been spoken--”
Beside the sub-humanoid, a FAWNatic in a hoodie raised their phone in return and snapped a bright flash directly in Miss Murder’s eyes!
Cursing as the world went silver and white, Elise stumbled backward and hissed, “Mouth-breathing idiot! I’ll have security drag you out of HHHNNNNNGGGGGHHH!”
Astonishment from Winterrest and the crowd in equal measure when the figure vaulted over the barricade and took Elise to the floor with a awkward but effective Thesz Press! Security materialized after less than half a dozen punches were thrown, though the paused when Winterrest’s attacker (who everyone now saw was bare-legged save for pink knee-pads and black wrestling boots) sprang to verticality and pointed the phone in their direction. “WE’RE LIVE, ASS HATS!” a familiar voice shouted over the din. “YOU DON’T WANNA LOOK EVEN DUMBER AFTER THE REVEAL, RIGHT?” Without waiting for an answer the attacker drove a heavy stomp into Elise’s chest, then flipped the hood back to take a beaming overhead selfie.
LYSSA ZAHNl
“Smile bytch.” Lyssa Zahn commanded the groaning brunette. “The world’s here to watch you suffer!”
“Jesus, Lyssa, what the hell are you doing?” Al Carpenter had come from the ring to bolster FAWN security only to find himself just as startled by Zahn’s presence. “You can’t just jump her in the aisle, the match hasn’t even started--”
Lyssa hit a button, then underhanded her phone to the zebra. “Hold this, nerd.”
Once divested of the gadget she peeled the hoodie overhead and tossed it down on Winterrest’s face to reveal her usual black & pink fighting attire.
“You gutless twat.” Elise sputtered after she’d swatted Zahn’s outerwear away. “I should’ve known you’d pull some tacky shyt like OOOOFFFFFHHHH!”
No stomp now, Lyssa leapt straight up and dropped down with every bit of her weight THWHUMPING down on the other brunette’s chest! “I’m sorry, did you actually think you could HUMILIATE me in front of the world and live to gloat about it?” the TikTok Terror asked as grabbed a double handful of hair and hauled Winterrest to her feet.
“Dammit Lyssa, let go of her and get your ass to the ring before brass makes me throw the match out!” Al barked as security melted away into the background, leaving him the sole representative of law and order in this swirl of chaos.
Zahn nodded her understanding and started down the aisle only to veer right so she could hurl Elise spine-first into the barricade on the opposite side! “What match are you talking about, stretch? Far as I can tell the bell never rang!”
Carpenter grimaced, took a deep breath. “It will, very shortly,” he answered. “And if BOTH of your asses aren’t in the ring by the time I count twenty, I’ll count you out and fine you for this nonsense. Don’t test me.”
Lyssa had no intention of doing so, the brunt of her ire was for Elise and Elise alone. “Hear that, f*ck-wit?” she cooed to the other brunette as Al headed in the direction of the Timekeeper. “Our friend the zebra says I’ve got twenty whole seconds to kick your ass!”
“Hhhrrrhhh… as if you could produce twenty seconds of original content.” Winterrest growled in the midst of clambering to all fours. “Frankly I’m surprised you can even muster a hundred and forty-four charactersSSSEERRRGGGHHH!”
Lyssa punted her foe in the ribs just as the bell CLANGED a start to Carpenter’s countdown. “Oh you misguided bytch, I’m a master of creativity be it short OR long-form. And that’s exactly why I’m going to throw your punk-ass into that ring and beat it from pillar to post for the next twenty minutes!”
Zahn didn’t exactly rush her way to the squared circle despite the obvious incentive to do so. Rather she gouged the toe of one boot into Winterrest’s tummy, then scraped her heel down the side of the Icy Manipulator’s face for good measure. Such targeted nastiness meant Elise had to protect her mug against more punishment, thus ensuring both hands were occupied when the Tweeting Tyrant hauled her upright with a handful of hair. A single SMACKING Slap to the chest nullified the last of Winterrest’s scrambled defenses and allowed Lyssa to march, then run her adversary the rest of the way down the aisle whereupon reaching she slung her under the bottom rope.
“And with almost ten seconds to spare!” Zahn smirked to Carpenter. “Though that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone wanting to bring the trash back from the curb.”
“You’re still not in the ring, Lyssa.” the ref said of his charge’s position next to the apron. “Aaaaannnd now neither is Elise.”
Zahn frowned, glanced at Miss Murder and snarled when she realized the other wrestler had kept on rolling to barrel under the ropes on the opposite side. “Slippery piece of--” Lyssa slid under the bottom rope, pointed a finger at the irritated official. “Restart that count, dork.”
A quick reverse put Zahn back on the floor and storming around the side to get at Elise, who was hunched over at the Commentary Table trying to catch her breath. “The f*ck, Winterrest, you trying to call a time out?” she barked. “Since when do we play by bytch ruleSSNNNGGGHHH!”
Elise’s back was partly to Lyssa and the world found out when she wheeled around and pegged a full water bottle straight at her opponent’s head! Zahn got an arm up just in time to prevent the missile from striking her between the eyes, though in doing so she took the brunt of it against the underside of her right elbow. The impact was more painful than debilitating, as evidenced by the fury in Zahn’s dark eyes when she dropped her guard to glare at-- the ‘OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!’ from the FAWNatics occurred alongside the startled shriek from Lyssa and the vicious cackle from Elise, all three reactions triggered by the icy gout of water from the second, uncapped bottle that Winterrest shot into her opponent’s eyes!
“My, that’s refreshing.” Elise chortled after a long swig from the bottle. Stalking after the retreating grappler with her equalizer still in hand, Miss Murder, grabbed hold of Zahn’s waistband and reeled her into a Forearm Smash that THWHAPPED against the small of her back! Lyssa stumbled on the spot so Elise shouldered her away only to draw her back for a second and third Forearm Smash. Helping herself to another big gulp, Miss Murder shoved the TweetStorm-Trooper away once again, only now she upended the bottle and dumped the remnants down Zahn’s back and into the off-kilter triangle created by her glutes and distended trunks!
“GAAAAAAH F*CKING BYTCH!” Lyssa whipped around in a half circle, the New Yorker responding to this icy outrage with a wild Haymaker that could’ve dislocated Elise’s jaw if she hadn’t dipped beneath it and--’FWOOOOOSH!’ Winterrest spat a mouthful of water into the troll’s sopping face, then crunched the now empty bottle against Zahn’s forehead for good measure.
“It’s like you didn’t learn a f*cking thing from our first match.” Elise huffed as she pulled the blinded, bedraggled brunette into a Front Facelock. “In fact, it’s like you checked out each and every image of the gallery I took from on top of your ugly face and thought ‘I’d like to get more of that!’ Well guess what, Melyssa? You’re gonna get exactly what you want.”
Snatching hold of Zahn’s (unpleasantly damp) waistband, Elise walked her over to the edge of the ring and muscled her under the bottom rope, but didn’t release the Front Facelock. With Lyssa stretched out on her stomach, Winterrest tossed the other brunette’s near arm across her shoulders and grabbed a handful of waistband that allowed her to march backward until the TikTok Terror was suspended by her noggin at one end and her ankles at the other. A dangerous predicament to be sure, one that Miss Murder allowed her assembled witnesses to ponder for a few extra seconds before she twisted under Zahn’s torso and laid out flat to THAWHUMP her foe down flat on the back of her head and shoulders!
WHIPLASH NECKBREAKER FROM APRON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCd2rBrOw10
Elise regained her feet in the span between heartbeats, the black-clad battler throwing her head back to bask in the waves of vitriol as she slowly draaaaaaagged her talons along the crimson ‘slashes’ in her attire.
“Bring it inside, Elise.” Al Carpenter called from somewhere overhead. “These people paid for a wrestling match, not a mugging.”
“They’ll pay for whatever I deign to give them and don’t you forget it.” the Malicious Mainer cooed. “But since you were kind enough not to throw out the whole match when this cowardly bytch jumped me in the aisle…” Elise drove a heel into the pit of Zahn’s stomach to sit her up, thus ensuring she didn’t have to bend all the way down to collect a double handful of hair. Halving that grip in favor of Lyssa’s waistband once the other brunette was on her feet, Winterrest pulled Zahn away from the ring so she could whip through a full circle and throw her into the apron gut-first! “Hmmhhh, she’s heavier than she looks.” the Icy Manipulator explained to a frowning Carpenter. “Hold on, lemme hook her a little tighter…”
“OOHHHH BYTCH!” Zahn wailed in protest when Elise didn’t just pull on her trunks, she yanked them back and forth like she meant to saw the other wrestler in half from underneath! Al sympathized with her plight but could do nothing more than continue his count, as wedgies were merely disrespectful, not illegal. Elise knew this of course and acted accordingly, the nastily grinning battler making a point to show off a few inches of Lyssa’s tan-lines before she spun through another rotation and hurled the Social Media Superstar under the bottom rope.
Winterrest followed her foe onto the apron, however she elected to stroll to the nearest corner rather than slip through the strands. Ascending to the high rent district while Lyssa was still picking her distended trunks from between her cheeks. “Get up.” Elise hissed to the recovering grappler. “Get up you insolent, insignificant piece of trash and face what you’ve got coming!”
Zahn didn’t hear the threat and even worse, she didn’t warning from the crowd due to the lingering hangover from the Neckbreaker. All she really knew was that she needed to get her hands on Winterrest so she could resume the violent rearranging of her facial features as quickly as possible. To that end she clambered to her feet, glanced left and right, then did an abrupt about-face in search of her--“NNNGGGHHH!” Elise took to the skies as soon as her prey started to move, the current Queen of the Madhouse vanishing into the lights only to reappear leading with the soles of her boots which she THWHUMPED into Zahn’s chest! Lyssa went down in a sprawl and Winterrest was right there to cover her, the First Degree Femme Fatale slithering into a constrictive Crossbody that grew all the tighter when she hooked the far leg in a cradle good for…
MISSILE DROPKICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpCkjj4xoy4
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Lyssa got a shoulder off the canvas to more cheers than she would’ve suspected (or likely appreciated), not that she had any real time to mull over her circumstances before Elise buried both hands in her hair.
“I appreciate that you’ve got a deeper well of resolve than most internet trolls.” Miss Murder admitted as she dragged Lyssa to boot-leather. “It makes me wonder just how far I’ll have to go to expose you for the whining, sniveling quitter I know you OOFH!”
Zahn hit Elise with a couple of quick body shots strong enough to rock her on the spot, but not strong enough to dislodge the grip on her hair. This turned out to be an important point as Winterrest simply dug her hooks a little deeper and gave Lyssa’s head a nasty little shake when the Insta-Gator tried to unload a few more. A single sharp Kneelift to the navel put Zahn’s knees together until Elise ducked low and scooped her up onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. “You’re enjoying this, I know you are.” she told the FAWNatics as she turned in a slow circle. “Because as much as you revel in the slings and arrows suffered by the insufferable agents of sweetness and light, you LOVE to see a bully like Lyssa Zahn laid low, isn’t that right?”
The utter conviction in Winterrest’s delivery roused a thunderous round of jeers from the crowd, even those who might’ve otherwise agreed with her assessment. Elise didn’t mind their hatred in the slightest, indeed she smiled a little wider as she continued to turn, her pace shifting to a measured spin that grew a bit faster with each passing rotation.
Ask a handful of fans about the most humiliating predicaments a wrestler can endure in the ring and you’re bound to hear about the Front Sleeper, the Reverse Face Sit, any number of claw holds or some galling bit of theatrics such as Bittersweet Symphony. Now, ask a handful of wrestlersabout the most humiliating predicaments they can endure and I’d wager good money you’ll hear Airplane Spin repeated by a great many of them. It wasn’t the most painful, nor the most likely to lead to a victory, but when it came to sheer ‘your ass belongs to me’ domination, it was hard to top.
Elise Winterrest must’ve known this because she kept Zahn in the spin cycle for more than thirty seconds before she ground to a halt and dumped the Social Media Superstar from her shoulders. Credit the wherewithal of one Lyssa Zahn, she managed to keep upright following that stupefying spiral, unfortunately this same quality also made her a perfect target for the Roundhouse Kick Winterrest THWHACKED offa the side of her skull! Lyssa took it flush, stumbled in fencepost holes and lurched ‘round in a half circle, her hands flying north to check on her nogg--“OOOOOOOOWWWW GAAAAHDDAMMIT!”
Miss Murder laid claim to Lyssa’s waistband and raised it several inches above the small of her foe’s back thanks to another eye-watering wedgie. “Pathetic.” Elise sniped as Lyssa’s trunks continued to recede over the horizon of her glutes. “I thought you’d at least try to defend yourself. Instead it’s like you want me to have thSEERRRGGHHH!”
Zahn countered the wedgie with a double fistful of hair that she tried to remove from her opponent’s scalp. “Yuuuuhhhhh… you think I sweat this tacky shite, bytch?” Lyssa grunted. “All you’re doing is getting the prep-work out of the way so I can sit on your face that much fastAAAAARRRGGGGHH!”
Elise relinquished her hold on the other brunette’s trunks only to slide her hands around front so she could YANK from that side! Lyssa let go of Winterrest’s hair to better tend to the front wedgie, a choice that did cause the Icy Manipulator to cede her own grip, albeit only to tug Zahn’s arms behind her back in a Double Chickenwing. Just like that she dipped into a deep crouch and popped her hips to snap Lyssa up over and DOWN onto the back of her head and shoulders with a Tiger Suplex! Pushing onto tiptoe to maintain her bridge (and put Zahn’s be-wedgied cheeks on better display) Elise held her rival’s shoulders to the deck for…
ROUNDHOUSE & TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhH8N3oDoKs
ONE…
TWO…
The Tweet-Storm Trooper wrenched loose just after ‘TWO’ and slopped onto her stomach to guard against a follow-up cover. “A great deal of your ass is showing, Melyssa.” Winterrest tittered to the flattened brunette. “In the literal sense, I mean. Your figurative ass has been flapping in the breeze since the instant you schemed your way to a spot on this roster.”
“Kuuuuhhh… keep talking, ass-hat.” Zahn groaned as Elise once again went to her hair. “Gonna be a f*ck ton harder when your jaw’s wired shutOOFFFHH!”
Winterrest pounded a Kneelift into the other brunette’s stomach to keep her quiet while she secured a Front Facelock and slung Lyssa’s near arm across her should--“NNNHHH!”
The Tweeting Tyrant kicked Elise in the shin, then dragged the toe of her boot all the way down to her opponent’s ankle! It was hardly showy as far as distractions were concerned, but it provided Zahn enough of an opening to take control of the Front Facelock. Strengthening her grasp with a handful of Elise’s waistband (just above the left hip) Lyssa skewered her opponent’s tummy with two more knees, then gathered her strength and hoisted Miss Murder all the way to high noon. No delays theatrical or otherwise, Zahn simply fell backward to deliver every bit of Elise’s weight to the deck with a ring-shivering THWHUMP! Kicking her legs up on impact, Zahn twisted onto her stomach with Winterrest still in her clutches-- Elise threaded her right leg around Lyssa’s right to block the second Suplex attempt. Zahn cursed, slipped her stem free of the trap and-- “OOOWWWWW DAMN YOU!”
Not only did Winterrest repeat her leg-thread defense, she resumed her grip on the Social Media Superstar’s trunks for another tawdry wedgie. “You are not in control of this narrative, dear Lyssa.” Elise cooed. “You’re simply an element to be manipulated any which way I choOOHHHAARRHH!”
Forgoing the grip she’d have used on any other wrestler in the locker room, Lyssa Zahn took firm command of the narrative by jamming her right hand between Winterrest’s thighs in a furious, white-knuckled claw! Digging a little deeper when she felt her foe’s knees start to buckle, Zahn gathered her reserves and muscled Elise directly overhead only to drop to one knee thereby THWHUNKING the base of Winterrest’s skull atop the posted joint! Eyes alight as the crowd bellowed ‘KNEEL!’ and Elise tumbled away in a woozy heap, Lyssa snatched her burden at shoulder and hip and drew her back so she could splash down across her gulping belly. As for Al Carpenter, he knelt beside Zahn and counted off…
KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP8P_Y8r4mc
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Winterrest jerked a shoulder off the canvas to keep herself in the match for at least another three seconds, a development that seemed to perturb everyone save Lyssa. Sighing with relief as she undid the worst of Miss Murder’s trunk tugging, Zahn grabbed hold of Elise’s hair like she meant to haul her to verticality just to bounce the back of her head against the mat instead. After that she took Winterrest’s cheeks between thumb and forefinger and smashed them together in a demeaning fish-face.
“Go for my trunks one more time, f*ck-wit.” she threatened. “Do it and I’ll cave your head--”
Elise tried to swipe at her opponent’s face, so Lyssa swatted the effort aside and buried a knee in the pit of her stomach for good measure. Pleased by all the ugly rasping that resulted, Zahn switched over to a Wristlock and used it to peel Elise off the deck. From there she slung her into the ropes, Winterrest’s disorientation not enough to prevent her from completing her portion of the Irish Whip. Lyssa waited for her in the middle of the ring, knees bent and hands held palms out so she could thrust them into Elise’s tummy and send her shooting straight into the air! Too woozy from the Brainbuster to properly adjust in mid-air, Winterrest ended up stretched out facedown at the apex of her ascent. After that the canvas rushed up to meet her at top speed, Elise just THWHAPPING down on the canvas-sheathed plywood!
Winterrest bounced to her knees with both arms strapped tight across her roiling midsection. She’d not yet fully comprehended this arrangement when the Tweet Storm-Trooper charged in and drove her right knee into the penitent brunette’s left temple! Lyssa dropped to her knees beside the prone grappler and ‘smecked’ greedy hands onto Elise’s chest to secure something that was equal parts cover and claw! Already close to the action, Carpenter wasted no time tolling off the…
FREE FALL DROP & RUNNING KNEE STRIKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNT-q9sYFFg
ONE…
TWO…
Winterrest knocked Zahn’s hands away to break the count, a show of defiance that earned her a sharp slap across the mouth! “I know I threatened to break your jaw,” the Insta-Gator admitted after she’d dragged Elise to a stunned seat, “but I’m rethinking that now. After all, I really want to enjoy those full-throated scre--”
“Then go back to picking fights on Twitter, slut.” Winterrest interrupted. “Because you’ll never get such satisfaction from RRGGGHHH!”
Zahn grabbed a handful of hair and wrenched the Malicious Mainer’s head backward to snug the nape of her neck against the point of Lyssa’s left knee. In the same instant she raised her right arm overhead and brought the point of that elbow down on the bridge of her rival’s nose! That shot watered Winterrest’s eyes, thus leaving her in a rather vulnerable state while Zahn dragged her backward over the posted joint, then looped her left arm around Elise’s neck and right arm to complete an especially painful variation of the Dragon Sleeper.
DRAGON SLEEPER ON THE KNEE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zUnFxIgDyQ
“I could just choke you out on the spot.” the TikTok Terror growled as she yoked up on the hold to increase the curve of Winterrest’s spine. “It’d tie us up, but I still have you ahead on points. And that cannot f*cking stand.”
Miss Murder squirmed from side to side and prized at Zahn’s forearm, all to no avail. “Rrrrhhhhh… as if you have any control over the mattAAAARRRRRRHHH!”
Lyssa curled her right hand into a talon, set her fingers in each of the ‘slashes’ on the front of Elise’s one-piece and did her best to tear through them in one long, agonizing swipe! “I’ve got all control I need, shyt-bag.” the pink-clad battler teased. “Should you need any more evidence of that…” Lusty whistles and howls from the crowd, not to mention infuriated shrieks from Elise when Zahn transformed her claw into a pincer and applied it to each of her opponent’s nipples no less than half a dozen times! “Ask her!” Lyssa batted her eyelashes at the official. “I think her dials are set to K-W-I-”
“F*CK YOU!” Winterrest fought to slap Zahn’s hand away and got tweaked all the harder for her efforts. “These amateurish efforts only ensure I’ll humble that much more thorOOOOOOHHHHH YOU TWATTEERRRRRGGGGHH!”
Quite willing to up the ante in their Humiliation Game, Lyssa relinquished the pincer in favor of two extended fingers (middle and ring) which she promptly and vigorously applied to the undercarriage of her adversary’s one-piece! This ruinous rubdown lasted long enough to seize Winterrest’s attention, then Zahn squeezed as hard as she could, the brunette attacking Elise’s defenseless center with the fury of a woman who’d been stewing for almost two months.
“Nah, this is yours, Elsie.” Lyssa sneered as she continued to pitiless punishment. “Mine feels better than a wad of chewed gum, which is more than I can say for--”
“I’ll ruin you, Melyssa.” Elise promised through clenched teeth. “I’ve destroyed careers for less than thISSSSAAAAAAWWWW FAAAAAAHK!”
The Tweeting Tyrant grabbed as much lycra as she could and threw herself into the wedgie war full force with an insidious inversion that had Winterrest keening in a register high enough to crack glass. “Say it, bytch.” Lyssa demanded. “Tell this lanky dork that you’re submitting to a wedgie. MY wedg--”
Elise couldn’t break the Dragon Sleeper no matter how ferociously she writhed, so rather than waste more energy on such a fruitless endeavor she reached up and back with her left hand to snatch hold of Zahn’s dark, battle-damp hair.
“Let go of her hair, Lyssa.” Al said in short order. “You know you can’t do--”
“Don’t bother.” Zahn interrupted. “I know how to make her let go.”
To that end she broke the grip on Winterrest’s togs, balled that hand into a fist and simply THUMPED it down onto her foe’s nethers! This did in fact remove Elise’s grip from Lyssa’s hair, it also allowed the Tweeting Tyrant to snatch another handful of trunks, this time above the right hip. Not for a wedgie but to keep Winterrest under control as she clambered to her-- Zahn dipped down and muscled Elise into the air, the captured brunette’s feet pointing to somewhere around nine o’clock in that whole heartbeat before Lyssa sat out full force and THWHAMMED the Icy Manipulator down spine-first! Nodding in satisfaction as the Paroxysm set the whole ring a’shiver, Zahn draped her left leg over Elise’s chest even as she hunched forward to draw her prey’s right leg to her in a Half Matchbook good for…
PAROXYSM:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbRLBwq8jUw
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The pin wasn’t exactly lackadaisical, yet it was far from ideal as evidenced by the way Winterrest got a shoulder off the mat a whisper ahead of ‘THREE!’ Zahn treated Carpenter to an irritated glare, though she saved the bulk of her disgust for Elise, who she punished with another rough hair-hold. “Your ass belongs to me now, Winterrest.” Lyssa explained in the midst of bringing the both of them to boot-leather. “I get that the series will only be tied after tonight, but the big difference between us? I wanted a rematch. You won’t.”
“Whuuuuhh… why would I ask for a rematch?” Elise was trying to fight out of her attacker’s grasp with no real success. “After tonight I’ll have defeated you on two pay-per-viewNNNGGHH!”
The Social Media Superstar hit her with a Headbutt, then traded out the hair-hold for a Wristlock so she could yank Winterrest into a short Shoulderblock. Shoving Elise back on her heels even as she stepped in the opposite direction, Zahn dropped a shoulder and sent her rival into the strands with an Irish Whip. Elise’s first trip into the lights had been such a success that Lyssa wanted to repeat it, therefore she doubled over and thrust her right shoulder into the pit of-- “NNNGGGHH!”
Miss Murder hit the brakes just shy of the Back Body Drop and snapped a quick kick into the New Yorker’s forehead to stand her up on tiptoe. Pivoting a quarter turn that same instant, Elise hopped forward and lashed out with a Super Kick to the chiNOOOO! Lyssa swatted the blow aside, lunged in close and put Winterrest’s teeth together with an audible ‘clack’ courtesy of a European Uppercut. Elise staggered but didn’t take a knee, so Zahn caught another Wristlock and returned her to the ropes. No waiting at center ring now, the Insta-Gator followed along a few steps behind so she could unleash a Lariat as soon as Elise bounced out of the rubber-coated NOT TODAY!
Winterrest ducked beneath the Lariat and continued to the other side of the ring without missing a beat. Cursing the evil bytch’s evasiveness, Zahn wheeled around and sprinted after Elise, meaning she was only a few steps behind when the Icy Manipulator took to the skies and landed on the second strand. Shooting straight backward immediately thereafter, Winterrest reached over her right shoulder with both hands, caught Lyssa’s noggin in a Three Quarters Facelock and laid out flat to THAWHAM the other brunette down flat on her face as the victim to a Bullet with a Name!
BULLET WITH A NAME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPT74noO0YU
Lyssa bounced a good six inches on impact, more than enough clearance for Elise to bull her over onto her back and crawl aboard for a domineering Double Leg Grapevine that also qualified as a Front Sleeper considering the domineering way she pressed her chest into Lyssa’s upturned features while Carpenter counted off the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Zahn bucked her way free of the cover with a half a second to spare, alas this didn’t buy her much in terms of a reprieve as the First Degree Femme Fatale was on her at once with a hair-pull applied with crippling interest! “The brazen arrogance on you is… astounding.” Winterrest admitted it with something like admiration even though she was shaking her rival like a terrier shakes a rat. “To think that you could do the things you’ve done and walk away without permanent scars takes an audacity I didn’t think possible.”
“Juuuuuhhh…just you wait, f*ck-wit.” Lyssa had hold of Elise’s wrists, but was too discombobulated to prize them out of her hair. “You have not yet begun to experience the limits of my audacOOOOOHHH GAWD!”
Miss Murder reached around with her left hand and simply hooked a three-fingered claw between the other wrestler’s thighs. “Oh, I’m afraid you’ve used all your allotted time.” Winterrest raked and squeezed, her efforts forcing the knock-kneed grappler up on tiptoe. “Now it’s my turn to show you just what sort of hell you’ve unleashed.”
A final squeeze brought tears to Zahn’s eyes, thus guaranteeing she couldn’t protect herself when Elise slipped her head beneath Lyssa’s left armpit and looped her own right arm around the Social Media Superstar’s waist. Left hand on Zahn’s rump, Winterrest muscled her onto the point of her left shoulder, then lurched to the nearest corner and swung-thrust Lyssa into an uncomfortable seat on the middle turnbuckle. “I know it’s cliché,” Elise was pressed in close to Zahn’s back, her breath warm and sweet against one ear, “but would you mind screaming for me, dear?”
Lyssa most certainly did, unfortunately the Icy Manipulator wasn’t going to accept any answer save ‘of course!’ which was why she pressed her palms against the sides of Zahn’s skull and gouged at the slumped woman’s eyes!
“BYTCH!” Zahn shrieked like a banshee as she fought to tear those cruel clamps away. “GET YOUR F*CKING ASS AWAY FROM ME, I’M IN THE ROPENNNGGGHH!”
Elise must’ve realized this as well (or perhaps she heard the stern approach of one Al Carpenter) because she switched over to a double handful of hair and yanked Lyssa’s head back just to BWUNG her face against the top turnbuckle! Stepping away from the corner without so much as a word from the referee, Winterrest backpedaled to the center of the squared circle where she spun ‘round on her heel and sprinted to the opposite corner. A low hop onto the middle turnbuckle allowed her to push off and twist around in mid-air without sacrificing any of the speed she’d built during her departure, indeed she was moving that much faster when she returned to Zahn’s corner and took to the skies in a pinpoint Dropkick that THWHACKED against the back of Lyssa’s skull!
Zahn’s face whiplashed against the top buckle, the short, savage collision leaving her limp and groaning in the unforgiving embrace of rubber and steel. So rattled was the TikTok Terror that she didn’t register when Winterrest moved into position on her six and laced both hands across her chin. Bending the back of Lyssa’s neck against the point of her right shoulder, Elise gave a little tug to make sure her prey wasn’t holding onto the ropes and encountered no resistance. Thus satisfied, she took two giant steps forward and laid out full length to PLANT Lyssa on the back of head and shoulders! Zahn bounced to a glassy-eyed seat only to crumple to the deck as soon as Winterrest laid a hand on one shoulder.
CORNER HUNG HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNVnuzVgvmo
Grim as things looked, they could always get worse as Miss Murder proved when she slid forward on splayed knees to take a gaudy, domineering seat atop Lyssa’s face! “Hmmmmhhh, this feels familiar.” Elise murmured as she tortured Zahn’s nose with a hands-free pinch. “Remind me, where did we leave off?” Lyssa offered nothing more than a muffled squeal and Carpenter wasn’t much help either, all he did was swoop in beside the warring wrestlers and count off…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lyssa got her hands on Winterrest’s encroaching backside and shoved her onto all fours with a whisper to spare. “How silly of me.” Elise set her bottoms to rights with a nonchalant ‘flick’ of her fingers, then buried a hand in Zahn’s hair. “I should’ve known someone so dense would require more head trauma than the usual troll. Here, allow me.”
Miss Murder drove a Kneelift into her foe’s belly to speed the application of Front Facelock which in turn allowed her to snap down and backward, Elise landing flat to THWHUNK Lyssa’s forehead into the deck with her ‘Murderous’ DDT! The impact left Zahn in a facedown heap so Winterrest shot the Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back. In the same breath she collected both the New Yorker’s legs and rolled her up with a tight Back Press, Lyssa’s usually domineering backside looking quite sullen as Al and the FAWNatics counted off…
MURDEROUS DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqAbh2L_8NE
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The Reign of the Tweeting Tyrant wasn’t over for at least another three seconds, as evidenced by the exhausted yet defiant way Zahn shot an arm into the air to break the count. Sitting beside her sprawled adversary, Winterrest raked a hand through her hair before returning to boot-leather. She was in perfect position to force-feed Lyssa an endless buffet of sole food, so it was rather surprising when the Icy Manipulator turned her attention to the referee. “Algernon, I believe it’s time we had a frank discussion about the pace of your counting.” Elise started toward him, which got Al backpedaling at an identical pace.
“There’s nothing wrong with the count, Elise. It was tight, but it wasn’t a HEY!” Winterrest lunged, snatched a handful of collar and drew him close. “I’m afraid it was a little slow, Algernon.” she murmured. “But it’s not your fault! Your movements have been a touch off all night and I know why! It’s because--” Elise flicked a hand into his pocket and emerged not with a wallet, but a phone. Lyssa Zahn’s phone to be particular. “You’re carrying around this oversized brick of shyt.”
“Give that back, Elise.” the ref extended a hand only for his charge to step out of reach. “It was given to me for safekeeping after--”
“A gutless sneak attack? Yes I knWHOOOAAAAHH!”
Roars from the Sweltering crowd when Lyssa slipped an arm through her opponent’s legs and stacked Winterrest on her shoulders with a quick Roll-Up! Al didn’t consider the circumstances entirely kosher, but he wasn’t about to reward Elise for trying to intimidate an official so he dove down beside the action and slapped the mat…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Elise kicked free, scrambled to verticality and didn’t realize she’d lost Lyssa’s phone until the Social Media Superstar held it up. “Thanks for this, Elsie. Good to have it out before--”
KER-UNCH!
The First Degree Femme Fatale showed Super Kick so Zahn raised her free hand to block, alas Elise’s target was the phone, it’s screen shattering into an ugly little cobweb against Winterrest’s heel!
Reveling in the thunderclap of shock that played across Lyssa’s face, Elise cooed, “I’m a little behind on internet vernacular, would that be what you idiots call a self owNNNGGGGHHHH!” Zahn tossed the broken gadget to Winterrest and immediately leapt, the brunette rearing back at the zenith to PWAAAK her nemesis across the cheek with a Superman Punch!
SUPERMAN PUNCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD0tBDpaa54
Miss Murder turned away in a swoon, but she didn’t make it two steps before Zahn cinched her right arm around the other wrestler’s throat in a tight Sleeper. Gripping her own left bicep as she worked to kink Elise’s windpipe, the Cameo Queen nipped her foe’s ear and hissed, “Now you’ve gone and done it, f*ck-face.” Zahn dipped down and shot up on tiptoe to yank Winterrest high into the air. Just like that she halved the Sleeper so she could pivot into Elise and drop to her knees, an adjustment that ensured Miss Murder landed spine-first across her attacker’s right flank! The Inverted Backbreaker bounced Winterrest up and away, the brunette tumbling over to land on her hands and knees.
SLEEPER LIFTED INVERTED BACKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrSJqPlOAwA
In no mood to let Elise regain her breath, Zahn circled around to her foe’s noggin and applied a Standing Headsciss--“NNGGHH!”
Lyssa stamped in place, driving her butt into the base of Winterrest’s skull while simultaneously wrenching her neck. “You been at my trunks all f*cking night.” Zahn growled after a couple more hopping jolts. “About time the receipt comes due.” Elise answered by digging her nails into the backs of Lyssa’s thighs, then shrieking to high heaven when the Black Hat grabbed a double handful of briefs and transformed them into a thong with a single hateful yank! Switching over to a Waistlock only after she’d taken the time to paintbrush Winterrest’s glutes with a few derisive swats, Lyssa dipped her knees and muscled Elise up onto her shoulders. A smooth quarter turn pointed her at the nearest corner and several long strides brought the Social Media Superstar close enough to BWUNG-THWHAM her rival full force against the canvas-padded steel!
BUCKLE BOMB @ 00:15
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqyrkEEWpiA
The Buckle Bomb bounced Winterrest out of the corner by a few steps but her progress was completely undone when Zahn shoved her back to start. “Did I say you could leave, f*cker?” Lyssa snatched a handful of hair and slapped Elise’s mouth for the simple joy of it. “You and I still have a whole lot of content to grind--”
“Shut your mouth or I’ll break your f*cking jaw. Test me Zahn. I dare youUUUGGGHHHH!”
Lyssa smashed a knee into the Icy Manipulator’s crotch and leaned in to whisper in her ear, all while grinding the bony joint back and forth. “Challenge accepted, bytch. You’re gonna learn not to f*ck with me.”
With that in mind she dipped a shoulder, slipped it through Elise’s stems and hoisted her up in a Fireman’s Carry, not for transport to the middle of the ring, but to drape Winterrest across the top rope at a sharp diagonal. “BYTCH RUINED MY PHONE!” the Tweeting Tyrant bellowed to the crowd as she backed away from the corner. “SO I’MMA NEED YOU TO TAG ME IN ALLLLLL THESE PICTURES!”
This was greeted with a surprisingly agreeable response, the FAWNatics happy to help document Elise’s misery in all its glory. Bound and determined to give them a plethora of memorable content, Zahn sprinted toward her target and THAWHUMPED her left knee into the pit of Winterrest’s midsection! The power behind that Kneelift bounced Elise out of her perch, not by a lot, though it proved enough for Lyssa to catch the other brunette across her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry.
CORNER HUNG KNEELIFT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=edOavtwopnk
No words from Zahn now, she was too busy flashing a triumphant grin as she made her way to the middle of the ring and began to twirl. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, the Cameo Killer putting her rival through an Airplane Spin presumably to avenge her earlier time spent in the embarrassing predicament while simultaneously compounding Winterrest’s roiling abdom-- Zahn ground to a halt, bent her knees and shoved Elise’s legs high into the air. In the next instant she twisted into the descending brunette so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Miss Murder down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMkoDg7SPLE
Zahn could’ve kept the far leg hooked for a Crossbody after the Meme Generator, but nothing about her disdain for Elise Winterrest was simple so she tossed the limb aside and swung her own left leg over her foe’s head to drop down in a heavy, domineering seat on Elise’s nose! Collecting both her throne’s wrists in one hand, Lyssa snugged the soles of her boots in against the sides of Winterrest’s skull and joined everyone else in counting off a commanding…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Nodding as the bell sounded, the Tweeting Tyrant threw Elise’s wrists aside so she could run her hands through her hair and shimmy her hips back & forth while the Announcer called out, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
Lyssa gifted the throng with a double bicep flex for the hell of it, then started to reach for her phone before remembering it’d been reduced to an expensive paperweight. Robbed of her preferred vengeance, Zahn balled a hand into a fist and pounded a few frustrated punches into Elise’s midsection. “Evil bytch.” she grunted. “Don’t think you’ve escaped the Wall of Shame by breaking my phone? There’s plenty of ways for me to posterize a…” Lyssa trailed off as her gaze fell on the cameraman filming the action from the apron. “Perfect. Hey, dingus! I’m gonna need to borrow that!”
The poor dope waved a ‘thanks but no thanks’ hand to the brunette, a demurral that did shyt-all to slow Lyssa down once she’d hopped up from her smudgy-faced seat. “I’m sorry, did I stutter? You can give me the camera, or I can take it. Only one of those options results in you getting bytch slapped in front of a worldwide audience. Can you guess which one?”
“Jeeze, ok, ok, fine, just don’t break the damned thing.” the cameraman grumbled as he handed it over.
“Oh yeah, because I don’t know how to operate a camera.” Zahn scoffed as she set the rig down on her right shoulder. “F*ck on outta here, chuckles.”
Turning her back on the dope as she adjusted the focus, the Social Media Superstar honed in on Winterrest’s boots and began a slow pan up her insensate frame. “Hello world,” Lyssa called to everyone within the sound of her voice, “this is Lyssa Zahn, co-host of the Allard Archive, hottest camera operator in FAWN and most recently, victrix in tonight’s match over the snoozing trash currently cluttering up your screens. Elsie here thought she’d pulled one over on me by stomping my phone, but as you can see, I am the Queen of All Media and she’s nothing but another troll under the bridge.”
Lyssa came to a stop focused on Elise’s slumbering features.
“Behold, the Ass-matic Adjustable Face, the perfect seat for all your face sitting needs. Now featuring hapless burbling, a nose perfectly contoured for your crack and even tears on demand for those times when you absolutely, positively have to break a bytch before the night is over! Call now to purchase your own Ass-matic Adjustable Face, but don’t think you’re gonna get this one…” Zahn took a step forward and nudged Elise’s mug to the side so she could plant that boot atop the other brunette’s cheek. This was followed by a bit of jostling as Lyssa took the camera off her shoulder and spun it around so she was looking into the lens. “You can’t have this one, because it belongs to me. Isn’t that right, Elise?” The Black Hat tipped the world a wink, then added, “This is Lyssa Zahn, signing off. Now we’ll cut to someone not nearly as entertaining as I am. Take it away, Joanna!”
OUT OF THE BLACK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_d_C5b-BD4
A veritable whirlwind of disdain and ill will arose from all corners of the arena at this pronouncement, the collected vitriol of the FAWNatics growing all the louder once the pounding, staccato drumbeat of Royal Blood’s ‘Out of the Black’ oozed from the speakers. A few seconds later Elise stepped into view and spread her arms wide, the First Degree Femme Fatale brazenly challenging this miserable collection of oxygen wasters to give her the full force of their hatred. Give ’em an A for effort, unfortunately it wasn’t nearly enough to faze the icy Manipulator. Or the house lights for that matter, as they sank into gloom before blazing forth in an eerie, fiery red. Galvanized by that which was supposed to stymie her, Elise lifted a hand to the rafters, then tipped her head backward and drew an index finger across her exposed throat. “Did you think Spring Break was the lowest I could bring sweet Lyssa? That was just a warm-up, a misdemeanor, if you will. The real atrocities start tonight.” Eager to share her cruel plans with the world at large, the Malicious Mainer turned her attention to the squared circle and started down the aisle.
ELISE WINTERREST:
Barely noting the wall of disgust now that she’d turned her attention elsewhere, Elise was a vision of icy calm in her fog gray ‘JUSTIFIABLE?’ tank-top, a fine example of sartorial viciousness that offered up a fine view of her lycra-sheathed midsection as well as her matching black elbow and knee pads and gleaming black boots that ended an inch south of her knee. Pausing mid-journey, Winterrest peeled the garment over her head and dropped it beside her to fully reveal the snug black one-piece made all the more striking by the quartet of crimson ‘slashes’ that started at the right shoulder and ran on a sharp diagonal to her left hip.
Turning to glare at some grubby idiot that possessed the temerity to harangue her pre-match ritual, Elise hooked left toward the dope and was not surprised to find him holding a sign that read: THE FRUMP FATALE WILL KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!
Offering the man a beatific smile, Winterrest raised a middle finger inches from his nose as she murmured along with her anthem. “So don’t breathe when I talk cuz’ you haven’t been spoken--”
Beside the sub-humanoid, a FAWNatic in a hoodie raised their phone in return and snapped a bright flash directly in Miss Murder’s eyes!
Cursing as the world went silver and white, Elise stumbled backward and hissed, “Mouth-breathing idiot! I’ll have security drag you out of HHHNNNNNGGGGGHHH!”
Astonishment from Winterrest and the crowd in equal measure when the figure vaulted over the barricade and took Elise to the floor with a awkward but effective Thesz Press! Security materialized after less than half a dozen punches were thrown, though the paused when Winterrest’s attacker (who everyone now saw was bare-legged save for pink knee-pads and black wrestling boots) sprang to verticality and pointed the phone in their direction. “WE’RE LIVE, ASS HATS!” a familiar voice shouted over the din. “YOU DON’T WANNA LOOK EVEN DUMBER AFTER THE REVEAL, RIGHT?” Without waiting for an answer the attacker drove a heavy stomp into Elise’s chest, then flipped the hood back to take a beaming overhead selfie.
LYSSA ZAHNl
“Smile bytch.” Lyssa Zahn commanded the groaning brunette. “The world’s here to watch you suffer!”
“Jesus, Lyssa, what the hell are you doing?” Al Carpenter had come from the ring to bolster FAWN security only to find himself just as startled by Zahn’s presence. “You can’t just jump her in the aisle, the match hasn’t even started--”
Lyssa hit a button, then underhanded her phone to the zebra. “Hold this, nerd.”
Once divested of the gadget she peeled the hoodie overhead and tossed it down on Winterrest’s face to reveal her usual black & pink fighting attire.
“You gutless twat.” Elise sputtered after she’d swatted Zahn’s outerwear away. “I should’ve known you’d pull some tacky shyt like OOOOFFFFFHHHH!”
No stomp now, Lyssa leapt straight up and dropped down with every bit of her weight THWHUMPING down on the other brunette’s chest! “I’m sorry, did you actually think you could HUMILIATE me in front of the world and live to gloat about it?” the TikTok Terror asked as grabbed a double handful of hair and hauled Winterrest to her feet.
“Dammit Lyssa, let go of her and get your ass to the ring before brass makes me throw the match out!” Al barked as security melted away into the background, leaving him the sole representative of law and order in this swirl of chaos.
Zahn nodded her understanding and started down the aisle only to veer right so she could hurl Elise spine-first into the barricade on the opposite side! “What match are you talking about, stretch? Far as I can tell the bell never rang!”
Carpenter grimaced, took a deep breath. “It will, very shortly,” he answered. “And if BOTH of your asses aren’t in the ring by the time I count twenty, I’ll count you out and fine you for this nonsense. Don’t test me.”
Lyssa had no intention of doing so, the brunt of her ire was for Elise and Elise alone. “Hear that, f*ck-wit?” she cooed to the other brunette as Al headed in the direction of the Timekeeper. “Our friend the zebra says I’ve got twenty whole seconds to kick your ass!”
“Hhhrrrhhh… as if you could produce twenty seconds of original content.” Winterrest growled in the midst of clambering to all fours. “Frankly I’m surprised you can even muster a hundred and forty-four charactersSSSEERRRGGGHHH!”
Lyssa punted her foe in the ribs just as the bell CLANGED a start to Carpenter’s countdown. “Oh you misguided bytch, I’m a master of creativity be it short OR long-form. And that’s exactly why I’m going to throw your punk-ass into that ring and beat it from pillar to post for the next twenty minutes!”
Zahn didn’t exactly rush her way to the squared circle despite the obvious incentive to do so. Rather she gouged the toe of one boot into Winterrest’s tummy, then scraped her heel down the side of the Icy Manipulator’s face for good measure. Such targeted nastiness meant Elise had to protect her mug against more punishment, thus ensuring both hands were occupied when the Tweeting Tyrant hauled her upright with a handful of hair. A single SMACKING Slap to the chest nullified the last of Winterrest’s scrambled defenses and allowed Lyssa to march, then run her adversary the rest of the way down the aisle whereupon reaching she slung her under the bottom rope.
“And with almost ten seconds to spare!” Zahn smirked to Carpenter. “Though that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone wanting to bring the trash back from the curb.”
“You’re still not in the ring, Lyssa.” the ref said of his charge’s position next to the apron. “Aaaaannnd now neither is Elise.”
Zahn frowned, glanced at Miss Murder and snarled when she realized the other wrestler had kept on rolling to barrel under the ropes on the opposite side. “Slippery piece of--” Lyssa slid under the bottom rope, pointed a finger at the irritated official. “Restart that count, dork.”
A quick reverse put Zahn back on the floor and storming around the side to get at Elise, who was hunched over at the Commentary Table trying to catch her breath. “The f*ck, Winterrest, you trying to call a time out?” she barked. “Since when do we play by bytch ruleSSNNNGGGHHH!”
Elise’s back was partly to Lyssa and the world found out when she wheeled around and pegged a full water bottle straight at her opponent’s head! Zahn got an arm up just in time to prevent the missile from striking her between the eyes, though in doing so she took the brunt of it against the underside of her right elbow. The impact was more painful than debilitating, as evidenced by the fury in Zahn’s dark eyes when she dropped her guard to glare at-- the ‘OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!’ from the FAWNatics occurred alongside the startled shriek from Lyssa and the vicious cackle from Elise, all three reactions triggered by the icy gout of water from the second, uncapped bottle that Winterrest shot into her opponent’s eyes!
“My, that’s refreshing.” Elise chortled after a long swig from the bottle. Stalking after the retreating grappler with her equalizer still in hand, Miss Murder, grabbed hold of Zahn’s waistband and reeled her into a Forearm Smash that THWHAPPED against the small of her back! Lyssa stumbled on the spot so Elise shouldered her away only to draw her back for a second and third Forearm Smash. Helping herself to another big gulp, Miss Murder shoved the TweetStorm-Trooper away once again, only now she upended the bottle and dumped the remnants down Zahn’s back and into the off-kilter triangle created by her glutes and distended trunks!
“GAAAAAAH F*CKING BYTCH!” Lyssa whipped around in a half circle, the New Yorker responding to this icy outrage with a wild Haymaker that could’ve dislocated Elise’s jaw if she hadn’t dipped beneath it and--’FWOOOOOSH!’ Winterrest spat a mouthful of water into the troll’s sopping face, then crunched the now empty bottle against Zahn’s forehead for good measure.
“It’s like you didn’t learn a f*cking thing from our first match.” Elise huffed as she pulled the blinded, bedraggled brunette into a Front Facelock. “In fact, it’s like you checked out each and every image of the gallery I took from on top of your ugly face and thought ‘I’d like to get more of that!’ Well guess what, Melyssa? You’re gonna get exactly what you want.”
Snatching hold of Zahn’s (unpleasantly damp) waistband, Elise walked her over to the edge of the ring and muscled her under the bottom rope, but didn’t release the Front Facelock. With Lyssa stretched out on her stomach, Winterrest tossed the other brunette’s near arm across her shoulders and grabbed a handful of waistband that allowed her to march backward until the TikTok Terror was suspended by her noggin at one end and her ankles at the other. A dangerous predicament to be sure, one that Miss Murder allowed her assembled witnesses to ponder for a few extra seconds before she twisted under Zahn’s torso and laid out flat to THAWHUMP her foe down flat on the back of her head and shoulders!
WHIPLASH NECKBREAKER FROM APRON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCd2rBrOw10
Elise regained her feet in the span between heartbeats, the black-clad battler throwing her head back to bask in the waves of vitriol as she slowly draaaaaaagged her talons along the crimson ‘slashes’ in her attire.
“Bring it inside, Elise.” Al Carpenter called from somewhere overhead. “These people paid for a wrestling match, not a mugging.”
“They’ll pay for whatever I deign to give them and don’t you forget it.” the Malicious Mainer cooed. “But since you were kind enough not to throw out the whole match when this cowardly bytch jumped me in the aisle…” Elise drove a heel into the pit of Zahn’s stomach to sit her up, thus ensuring she didn’t have to bend all the way down to collect a double handful of hair. Halving that grip in favor of Lyssa’s waistband once the other brunette was on her feet, Winterrest pulled Zahn away from the ring so she could whip through a full circle and throw her into the apron gut-first! “Hmmhhh, she’s heavier than she looks.” the Icy Manipulator explained to a frowning Carpenter. “Hold on, lemme hook her a little tighter…”
“OOHHHH BYTCH!” Zahn wailed in protest when Elise didn’t just pull on her trunks, she yanked them back and forth like she meant to saw the other wrestler in half from underneath! Al sympathized with her plight but could do nothing more than continue his count, as wedgies were merely disrespectful, not illegal. Elise knew this of course and acted accordingly, the nastily grinning battler making a point to show off a few inches of Lyssa’s tan-lines before she spun through another rotation and hurled the Social Media Superstar under the bottom rope.
Winterrest followed her foe onto the apron, however she elected to stroll to the nearest corner rather than slip through the strands. Ascending to the high rent district while Lyssa was still picking her distended trunks from between her cheeks. “Get up.” Elise hissed to the recovering grappler. “Get up you insolent, insignificant piece of trash and face what you’ve got coming!”
Zahn didn’t hear the threat and even worse, she didn’t warning from the crowd due to the lingering hangover from the Neckbreaker. All she really knew was that she needed to get her hands on Winterrest so she could resume the violent rearranging of her facial features as quickly as possible. To that end she clambered to her feet, glanced left and right, then did an abrupt about-face in search of her--“NNNGGGHHH!” Elise took to the skies as soon as her prey started to move, the current Queen of the Madhouse vanishing into the lights only to reappear leading with the soles of her boots which she THWHUMPED into Zahn’s chest! Lyssa went down in a sprawl and Winterrest was right there to cover her, the First Degree Femme Fatale slithering into a constrictive Crossbody that grew all the tighter when she hooked the far leg in a cradle good for…
MISSILE DROPKICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpCkjj4xoy4
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Lyssa got a shoulder off the canvas to more cheers than she would’ve suspected (or likely appreciated), not that she had any real time to mull over her circumstances before Elise buried both hands in her hair.
“I appreciate that you’ve got a deeper well of resolve than most internet trolls.” Miss Murder admitted as she dragged Lyssa to boot-leather. “It makes me wonder just how far I’ll have to go to expose you for the whining, sniveling quitter I know you OOFH!”
Zahn hit Elise with a couple of quick body shots strong enough to rock her on the spot, but not strong enough to dislodge the grip on her hair. This turned out to be an important point as Winterrest simply dug her hooks a little deeper and gave Lyssa’s head a nasty little shake when the Insta-Gator tried to unload a few more. A single sharp Kneelift to the navel put Zahn’s knees together until Elise ducked low and scooped her up onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. “You’re enjoying this, I know you are.” she told the FAWNatics as she turned in a slow circle. “Because as much as you revel in the slings and arrows suffered by the insufferable agents of sweetness and light, you LOVE to see a bully like Lyssa Zahn laid low, isn’t that right?”
The utter conviction in Winterrest’s delivery roused a thunderous round of jeers from the crowd, even those who might’ve otherwise agreed with her assessment. Elise didn’t mind their hatred in the slightest, indeed she smiled a little wider as she continued to turn, her pace shifting to a measured spin that grew a bit faster with each passing rotation.
Ask a handful of fans about the most humiliating predicaments a wrestler can endure in the ring and you’re bound to hear about the Front Sleeper, the Reverse Face Sit, any number of claw holds or some galling bit of theatrics such as Bittersweet Symphony. Now, ask a handful of wrestlersabout the most humiliating predicaments they can endure and I’d wager good money you’ll hear Airplane Spin repeated by a great many of them. It wasn’t the most painful, nor the most likely to lead to a victory, but when it came to sheer ‘your ass belongs to me’ domination, it was hard to top.
Elise Winterrest must’ve known this because she kept Zahn in the spin cycle for more than thirty seconds before she ground to a halt and dumped the Social Media Superstar from her shoulders. Credit the wherewithal of one Lyssa Zahn, she managed to keep upright following that stupefying spiral, unfortunately this same quality also made her a perfect target for the Roundhouse Kick Winterrest THWHACKED offa the side of her skull! Lyssa took it flush, stumbled in fencepost holes and lurched ‘round in a half circle, her hands flying north to check on her nogg--“OOOOOOOOWWWW GAAAAHDDAMMIT!”
Miss Murder laid claim to Lyssa’s waistband and raised it several inches above the small of her foe’s back thanks to another eye-watering wedgie. “Pathetic.” Elise sniped as Lyssa’s trunks continued to recede over the horizon of her glutes. “I thought you’d at least try to defend yourself. Instead it’s like you want me to have thSEERRRGGHHH!”
Zahn countered the wedgie with a double fistful of hair that she tried to remove from her opponent’s scalp. “Yuuuuhhhhh… you think I sweat this tacky shite, bytch?” Lyssa grunted. “All you’re doing is getting the prep-work out of the way so I can sit on your face that much fastAAAAARRRGGGGHH!”
Elise relinquished her hold on the other brunette’s trunks only to slide her hands around front so she could YANK from that side! Lyssa let go of Winterrest’s hair to better tend to the front wedgie, a choice that did cause the Icy Manipulator to cede her own grip, albeit only to tug Zahn’s arms behind her back in a Double Chickenwing. Just like that she dipped into a deep crouch and popped her hips to snap Lyssa up over and DOWN onto the back of her head and shoulders with a Tiger Suplex! Pushing onto tiptoe to maintain her bridge (and put Zahn’s be-wedgied cheeks on better display) Elise held her rival’s shoulders to the deck for…
ROUNDHOUSE & TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhH8N3oDoKs
ONE…
TWO…
The Tweet-Storm Trooper wrenched loose just after ‘TWO’ and slopped onto her stomach to guard against a follow-up cover. “A great deal of your ass is showing, Melyssa.” Winterrest tittered to the flattened brunette. “In the literal sense, I mean. Your figurative ass has been flapping in the breeze since the instant you schemed your way to a spot on this roster.”
“Kuuuuhhh… keep talking, ass-hat.” Zahn groaned as Elise once again went to her hair. “Gonna be a f*ck ton harder when your jaw’s wired shutOOFFFHH!”
Winterrest pounded a Kneelift into the other brunette’s stomach to keep her quiet while she secured a Front Facelock and slung Lyssa’s near arm across her should--“NNNHHH!”
The Tweeting Tyrant kicked Elise in the shin, then dragged the toe of her boot all the way down to her opponent’s ankle! It was hardly showy as far as distractions were concerned, but it provided Zahn enough of an opening to take control of the Front Facelock. Strengthening her grasp with a handful of Elise’s waistband (just above the left hip) Lyssa skewered her opponent’s tummy with two more knees, then gathered her strength and hoisted Miss Murder all the way to high noon. No delays theatrical or otherwise, Zahn simply fell backward to deliver every bit of Elise’s weight to the deck with a ring-shivering THWHUMP! Kicking her legs up on impact, Zahn twisted onto her stomach with Winterrest still in her clutches-- Elise threaded her right leg around Lyssa’s right to block the second Suplex attempt. Zahn cursed, slipped her stem free of the trap and-- “OOOWWWWW DAMN YOU!”
Not only did Winterrest repeat her leg-thread defense, she resumed her grip on the Social Media Superstar’s trunks for another tawdry wedgie. “You are not in control of this narrative, dear Lyssa.” Elise cooed. “You’re simply an element to be manipulated any which way I choOOHHHAARRHH!”
Forgoing the grip she’d have used on any other wrestler in the locker room, Lyssa Zahn took firm command of the narrative by jamming her right hand between Winterrest’s thighs in a furious, white-knuckled claw! Digging a little deeper when she felt her foe’s knees start to buckle, Zahn gathered her reserves and muscled Elise directly overhead only to drop to one knee thereby THWHUNKING the base of Winterrest’s skull atop the posted joint! Eyes alight as the crowd bellowed ‘KNEEL!’ and Elise tumbled away in a woozy heap, Lyssa snatched her burden at shoulder and hip and drew her back so she could splash down across her gulping belly. As for Al Carpenter, he knelt beside Zahn and counted off…
KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP8P_Y8r4mc
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Winterrest jerked a shoulder off the canvas to keep herself in the match for at least another three seconds, a development that seemed to perturb everyone save Lyssa. Sighing with relief as she undid the worst of Miss Murder’s trunk tugging, Zahn grabbed hold of Elise’s hair like she meant to haul her to verticality just to bounce the back of her head against the mat instead. After that she took Winterrest’s cheeks between thumb and forefinger and smashed them together in a demeaning fish-face.
“Go for my trunks one more time, f*ck-wit.” she threatened. “Do it and I’ll cave your head--”
Elise tried to swipe at her opponent’s face, so Lyssa swatted the effort aside and buried a knee in the pit of her stomach for good measure. Pleased by all the ugly rasping that resulted, Zahn switched over to a Wristlock and used it to peel Elise off the deck. From there she slung her into the ropes, Winterrest’s disorientation not enough to prevent her from completing her portion of the Irish Whip. Lyssa waited for her in the middle of the ring, knees bent and hands held palms out so she could thrust them into Elise’s tummy and send her shooting straight into the air! Too woozy from the Brainbuster to properly adjust in mid-air, Winterrest ended up stretched out facedown at the apex of her ascent. After that the canvas rushed up to meet her at top speed, Elise just THWHAPPING down on the canvas-sheathed plywood!
Winterrest bounced to her knees with both arms strapped tight across her roiling midsection. She’d not yet fully comprehended this arrangement when the Tweet Storm-Trooper charged in and drove her right knee into the penitent brunette’s left temple! Lyssa dropped to her knees beside the prone grappler and ‘smecked’ greedy hands onto Elise’s chest to secure something that was equal parts cover and claw! Already close to the action, Carpenter wasted no time tolling off the…
FREE FALL DROP & RUNNING KNEE STRIKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNT-q9sYFFg
ONE…
TWO…
Winterrest knocked Zahn’s hands away to break the count, a show of defiance that earned her a sharp slap across the mouth! “I know I threatened to break your jaw,” the Insta-Gator admitted after she’d dragged Elise to a stunned seat, “but I’m rethinking that now. After all, I really want to enjoy those full-throated scre--”
“Then go back to picking fights on Twitter, slut.” Winterrest interrupted. “Because you’ll never get such satisfaction from RRGGGHHH!”
Zahn grabbed a handful of hair and wrenched the Malicious Mainer’s head backward to snug the nape of her neck against the point of Lyssa’s left knee. In the same instant she raised her right arm overhead and brought the point of that elbow down on the bridge of her rival’s nose! That shot watered Winterrest’s eyes, thus leaving her in a rather vulnerable state while Zahn dragged her backward over the posted joint, then looped her left arm around Elise’s neck and right arm to complete an especially painful variation of the Dragon Sleeper.
DRAGON SLEEPER ON THE KNEE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zUnFxIgDyQ
“I could just choke you out on the spot.” the TikTok Terror growled as she yoked up on the hold to increase the curve of Winterrest’s spine. “It’d tie us up, but I still have you ahead on points. And that cannot f*cking stand.”
Miss Murder squirmed from side to side and prized at Zahn’s forearm, all to no avail. “Rrrrhhhhh… as if you have any control over the mattAAAARRRRRRHHH!”
Lyssa curled her right hand into a talon, set her fingers in each of the ‘slashes’ on the front of Elise’s one-piece and did her best to tear through them in one long, agonizing swipe! “I’ve got all control I need, shyt-bag.” the pink-clad battler teased. “Should you need any more evidence of that…” Lusty whistles and howls from the crowd, not to mention infuriated shrieks from Elise when Zahn transformed her claw into a pincer and applied it to each of her opponent’s nipples no less than half a dozen times! “Ask her!” Lyssa batted her eyelashes at the official. “I think her dials are set to K-W-I-”
“F*CK YOU!” Winterrest fought to slap Zahn’s hand away and got tweaked all the harder for her efforts. “These amateurish efforts only ensure I’ll humble that much more thorOOOOOOHHHHH YOU TWATTEERRRRRGGGGHH!”
Quite willing to up the ante in their Humiliation Game, Lyssa relinquished the pincer in favor of two extended fingers (middle and ring) which she promptly and vigorously applied to the undercarriage of her adversary’s one-piece! This ruinous rubdown lasted long enough to seize Winterrest’s attention, then Zahn squeezed as hard as she could, the brunette attacking Elise’s defenseless center with the fury of a woman who’d been stewing for almost two months.
“Nah, this is yours, Elsie.” Lyssa sneered as she continued to pitiless punishment. “Mine feels better than a wad of chewed gum, which is more than I can say for--”
“I’ll ruin you, Melyssa.” Elise promised through clenched teeth. “I’ve destroyed careers for less than thISSSSAAAAAAWWWW FAAAAAAHK!”
The Tweeting Tyrant grabbed as much lycra as she could and threw herself into the wedgie war full force with an insidious inversion that had Winterrest keening in a register high enough to crack glass. “Say it, bytch.” Lyssa demanded. “Tell this lanky dork that you’re submitting to a wedgie. MY wedg--”
Elise couldn’t break the Dragon Sleeper no matter how ferociously she writhed, so rather than waste more energy on such a fruitless endeavor she reached up and back with her left hand to snatch hold of Zahn’s dark, battle-damp hair.
“Let go of her hair, Lyssa.” Al said in short order. “You know you can’t do--”
“Don’t bother.” Zahn interrupted. “I know how to make her let go.”
To that end she broke the grip on Winterrest’s togs, balled that hand into a fist and simply THUMPED it down onto her foe’s nethers! This did in fact remove Elise’s grip from Lyssa’s hair, it also allowed the Tweeting Tyrant to snatch another handful of trunks, this time above the right hip. Not for a wedgie but to keep Winterrest under control as she clambered to her-- Zahn dipped down and muscled Elise into the air, the captured brunette’s feet pointing to somewhere around nine o’clock in that whole heartbeat before Lyssa sat out full force and THWHAMMED the Icy Manipulator down spine-first! Nodding in satisfaction as the Paroxysm set the whole ring a’shiver, Zahn draped her left leg over Elise’s chest even as she hunched forward to draw her prey’s right leg to her in a Half Matchbook good for…
PAROXYSM:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbRLBwq8jUw
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The pin wasn’t exactly lackadaisical, yet it was far from ideal as evidenced by the way Winterrest got a shoulder off the mat a whisper ahead of ‘THREE!’ Zahn treated Carpenter to an irritated glare, though she saved the bulk of her disgust for Elise, who she punished with another rough hair-hold. “Your ass belongs to me now, Winterrest.” Lyssa explained in the midst of bringing the both of them to boot-leather. “I get that the series will only be tied after tonight, but the big difference between us? I wanted a rematch. You won’t.”
“Whuuuuhh… why would I ask for a rematch?” Elise was trying to fight out of her attacker’s grasp with no real success. “After tonight I’ll have defeated you on two pay-per-viewNNNGGHH!”
The Social Media Superstar hit her with a Headbutt, then traded out the hair-hold for a Wristlock so she could yank Winterrest into a short Shoulderblock. Shoving Elise back on her heels even as she stepped in the opposite direction, Zahn dropped a shoulder and sent her rival into the strands with an Irish Whip. Elise’s first trip into the lights had been such a success that Lyssa wanted to repeat it, therefore she doubled over and thrust her right shoulder into the pit of-- “NNNGGGHH!”
Miss Murder hit the brakes just shy of the Back Body Drop and snapped a quick kick into the New Yorker’s forehead to stand her up on tiptoe. Pivoting a quarter turn that same instant, Elise hopped forward and lashed out with a Super Kick to the chiNOOOO! Lyssa swatted the blow aside, lunged in close and put Winterrest’s teeth together with an audible ‘clack’ courtesy of a European Uppercut. Elise staggered but didn’t take a knee, so Zahn caught another Wristlock and returned her to the ropes. No waiting at center ring now, the Insta-Gator followed along a few steps behind so she could unleash a Lariat as soon as Elise bounced out of the rubber-coated NOT TODAY!
Winterrest ducked beneath the Lariat and continued to the other side of the ring without missing a beat. Cursing the evil bytch’s evasiveness, Zahn wheeled around and sprinted after Elise, meaning she was only a few steps behind when the Icy Manipulator took to the skies and landed on the second strand. Shooting straight backward immediately thereafter, Winterrest reached over her right shoulder with both hands, caught Lyssa’s noggin in a Three Quarters Facelock and laid out flat to THAWHAM the other brunette down flat on her face as the victim to a Bullet with a Name!
BULLET WITH A NAME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPT74noO0YU
Lyssa bounced a good six inches on impact, more than enough clearance for Elise to bull her over onto her back and crawl aboard for a domineering Double Leg Grapevine that also qualified as a Front Sleeper considering the domineering way she pressed her chest into Lyssa’s upturned features while Carpenter counted off the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Zahn bucked her way free of the cover with a half a second to spare, alas this didn’t buy her much in terms of a reprieve as the First Degree Femme Fatale was on her at once with a hair-pull applied with crippling interest! “The brazen arrogance on you is… astounding.” Winterrest admitted it with something like admiration even though she was shaking her rival like a terrier shakes a rat. “To think that you could do the things you’ve done and walk away without permanent scars takes an audacity I didn’t think possible.”
“Juuuuuhhh…just you wait, f*ck-wit.” Lyssa had hold of Elise’s wrists, but was too discombobulated to prize them out of her hair. “You have not yet begun to experience the limits of my audacOOOOOHHH GAWD!”
Miss Murder reached around with her left hand and simply hooked a three-fingered claw between the other wrestler’s thighs. “Oh, I’m afraid you’ve used all your allotted time.” Winterrest raked and squeezed, her efforts forcing the knock-kneed grappler up on tiptoe. “Now it’s my turn to show you just what sort of hell you’ve unleashed.”
A final squeeze brought tears to Zahn’s eyes, thus guaranteeing she couldn’t protect herself when Elise slipped her head beneath Lyssa’s left armpit and looped her own right arm around the Social Media Superstar’s waist. Left hand on Zahn’s rump, Winterrest muscled her onto the point of her left shoulder, then lurched to the nearest corner and swung-thrust Lyssa into an uncomfortable seat on the middle turnbuckle. “I know it’s cliché,” Elise was pressed in close to Zahn’s back, her breath warm and sweet against one ear, “but would you mind screaming for me, dear?”
Lyssa most certainly did, unfortunately the Icy Manipulator wasn’t going to accept any answer save ‘of course!’ which was why she pressed her palms against the sides of Zahn’s skull and gouged at the slumped woman’s eyes!
“BYTCH!” Zahn shrieked like a banshee as she fought to tear those cruel clamps away. “GET YOUR F*CKING ASS AWAY FROM ME, I’M IN THE ROPENNNGGGHH!”
Elise must’ve realized this as well (or perhaps she heard the stern approach of one Al Carpenter) because she switched over to a double handful of hair and yanked Lyssa’s head back just to BWUNG her face against the top turnbuckle! Stepping away from the corner without so much as a word from the referee, Winterrest backpedaled to the center of the squared circle where she spun ‘round on her heel and sprinted to the opposite corner. A low hop onto the middle turnbuckle allowed her to push off and twist around in mid-air without sacrificing any of the speed she’d built during her departure, indeed she was moving that much faster when she returned to Zahn’s corner and took to the skies in a pinpoint Dropkick that THWHACKED against the back of Lyssa’s skull!
Zahn’s face whiplashed against the top buckle, the short, savage collision leaving her limp and groaning in the unforgiving embrace of rubber and steel. So rattled was the TikTok Terror that she didn’t register when Winterrest moved into position on her six and laced both hands across her chin. Bending the back of Lyssa’s neck against the point of her right shoulder, Elise gave a little tug to make sure her prey wasn’t holding onto the ropes and encountered no resistance. Thus satisfied, she took two giant steps forward and laid out full length to PLANT Lyssa on the back of head and shoulders! Zahn bounced to a glassy-eyed seat only to crumple to the deck as soon as Winterrest laid a hand on one shoulder.
CORNER HUNG HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNVnuzVgvmo
Grim as things looked, they could always get worse as Miss Murder proved when she slid forward on splayed knees to take a gaudy, domineering seat atop Lyssa’s face! “Hmmmmhhh, this feels familiar.” Elise murmured as she tortured Zahn’s nose with a hands-free pinch. “Remind me, where did we leave off?” Lyssa offered nothing more than a muffled squeal and Carpenter wasn’t much help either, all he did was swoop in beside the warring wrestlers and count off…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lyssa got her hands on Winterrest’s encroaching backside and shoved her onto all fours with a whisper to spare. “How silly of me.” Elise set her bottoms to rights with a nonchalant ‘flick’ of her fingers, then buried a hand in Zahn’s hair. “I should’ve known someone so dense would require more head trauma than the usual troll. Here, allow me.”
Miss Murder drove a Kneelift into her foe’s belly to speed the application of Front Facelock which in turn allowed her to snap down and backward, Elise landing flat to THWHUNK Lyssa’s forehead into the deck with her ‘Murderous’ DDT! The impact left Zahn in a facedown heap so Winterrest shot the Half Nelson and rolled her onto her back. In the same breath she collected both the New Yorker’s legs and rolled her up with a tight Back Press, Lyssa’s usually domineering backside looking quite sullen as Al and the FAWNatics counted off…
MURDEROUS DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqAbh2L_8NE
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The Reign of the Tweeting Tyrant wasn’t over for at least another three seconds, as evidenced by the exhausted yet defiant way Zahn shot an arm into the air to break the count. Sitting beside her sprawled adversary, Winterrest raked a hand through her hair before returning to boot-leather. She was in perfect position to force-feed Lyssa an endless buffet of sole food, so it was rather surprising when the Icy Manipulator turned her attention to the referee. “Algernon, I believe it’s time we had a frank discussion about the pace of your counting.” Elise started toward him, which got Al backpedaling at an identical pace.
“There’s nothing wrong with the count, Elise. It was tight, but it wasn’t a HEY!” Winterrest lunged, snatched a handful of collar and drew him close. “I’m afraid it was a little slow, Algernon.” she murmured. “But it’s not your fault! Your movements have been a touch off all night and I know why! It’s because--” Elise flicked a hand into his pocket and emerged not with a wallet, but a phone. Lyssa Zahn’s phone to be particular. “You’re carrying around this oversized brick of shyt.”
“Give that back, Elise.” the ref extended a hand only for his charge to step out of reach. “It was given to me for safekeeping after--”
“A gutless sneak attack? Yes I knWHOOOAAAAHH!”
Roars from the Sweltering crowd when Lyssa slipped an arm through her opponent’s legs and stacked Winterrest on her shoulders with a quick Roll-Up! Al didn’t consider the circumstances entirely kosher, but he wasn’t about to reward Elise for trying to intimidate an official so he dove down beside the action and slapped the mat…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Elise kicked free, scrambled to verticality and didn’t realize she’d lost Lyssa’s phone until the Social Media Superstar held it up. “Thanks for this, Elsie. Good to have it out before--”
KER-UNCH!
The First Degree Femme Fatale showed Super Kick so Zahn raised her free hand to block, alas Elise’s target was the phone, it’s screen shattering into an ugly little cobweb against Winterrest’s heel!
Reveling in the thunderclap of shock that played across Lyssa’s face, Elise cooed, “I’m a little behind on internet vernacular, would that be what you idiots call a self owNNNGGGGHHHH!” Zahn tossed the broken gadget to Winterrest and immediately leapt, the brunette rearing back at the zenith to PWAAAK her nemesis across the cheek with a Superman Punch!
SUPERMAN PUNCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD0tBDpaa54
Miss Murder turned away in a swoon, but she didn’t make it two steps before Zahn cinched her right arm around the other wrestler’s throat in a tight Sleeper. Gripping her own left bicep as she worked to kink Elise’s windpipe, the Cameo Queen nipped her foe’s ear and hissed, “Now you’ve gone and done it, f*ck-face.” Zahn dipped down and shot up on tiptoe to yank Winterrest high into the air. Just like that she halved the Sleeper so she could pivot into Elise and drop to her knees, an adjustment that ensured Miss Murder landed spine-first across her attacker’s right flank! The Inverted Backbreaker bounced Winterrest up and away, the brunette tumbling over to land on her hands and knees.
SLEEPER LIFTED INVERTED BACKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrSJqPlOAwA
In no mood to let Elise regain her breath, Zahn circled around to her foe’s noggin and applied a Standing Headsciss--“NNGGHH!”
Lyssa stamped in place, driving her butt into the base of Winterrest’s skull while simultaneously wrenching her neck. “You been at my trunks all f*cking night.” Zahn growled after a couple more hopping jolts. “About time the receipt comes due.” Elise answered by digging her nails into the backs of Lyssa’s thighs, then shrieking to high heaven when the Black Hat grabbed a double handful of briefs and transformed them into a thong with a single hateful yank! Switching over to a Waistlock only after she’d taken the time to paintbrush Winterrest’s glutes with a few derisive swats, Lyssa dipped her knees and muscled Elise up onto her shoulders. A smooth quarter turn pointed her at the nearest corner and several long strides brought the Social Media Superstar close enough to BWUNG-THWHAM her rival full force against the canvas-padded steel!
BUCKLE BOMB @ 00:15
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqyrkEEWpiA
The Buckle Bomb bounced Winterrest out of the corner by a few steps but her progress was completely undone when Zahn shoved her back to start. “Did I say you could leave, f*cker?” Lyssa snatched a handful of hair and slapped Elise’s mouth for the simple joy of it. “You and I still have a whole lot of content to grind--”
“Shut your mouth or I’ll break your f*cking jaw. Test me Zahn. I dare youUUUGGGHHHH!”
Lyssa smashed a knee into the Icy Manipulator’s crotch and leaned in to whisper in her ear, all while grinding the bony joint back and forth. “Challenge accepted, bytch. You’re gonna learn not to f*ck with me.”
With that in mind she dipped a shoulder, slipped it through Elise’s stems and hoisted her up in a Fireman’s Carry, not for transport to the middle of the ring, but to drape Winterrest across the top rope at a sharp diagonal. “BYTCH RUINED MY PHONE!” the Tweeting Tyrant bellowed to the crowd as she backed away from the corner. “SO I’MMA NEED YOU TO TAG ME IN ALLLLLL THESE PICTURES!”
This was greeted with a surprisingly agreeable response, the FAWNatics happy to help document Elise’s misery in all its glory. Bound and determined to give them a plethora of memorable content, Zahn sprinted toward her target and THAWHUMPED her left knee into the pit of Winterrest’s midsection! The power behind that Kneelift bounced Elise out of her perch, not by a lot, though it proved enough for Lyssa to catch the other brunette across her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry.
CORNER HUNG KNEELIFT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=edOavtwopnk
No words from Zahn now, she was too busy flashing a triumphant grin as she made her way to the middle of the ring and began to twirl. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, the Cameo Killer putting her rival through an Airplane Spin presumably to avenge her earlier time spent in the embarrassing predicament while simultaneously compounding Winterrest’s roiling abdom-- Zahn ground to a halt, bent her knees and shoved Elise’s legs high into the air. In the next instant she twisted into the descending brunette so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Miss Murder down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMkoDg7SPLE
Zahn could’ve kept the far leg hooked for a Crossbody after the Meme Generator, but nothing about her disdain for Elise Winterrest was simple so she tossed the limb aside and swung her own left leg over her foe’s head to drop down in a heavy, domineering seat on Elise’s nose! Collecting both her throne’s wrists in one hand, Lyssa snugged the soles of her boots in against the sides of Winterrest’s skull and joined everyone else in counting off a commanding…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Nodding as the bell sounded, the Tweeting Tyrant threw Elise’s wrists aside so she could run her hands through her hair and shimmy her hips back & forth while the Announcer called out, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
Lyssa gifted the throng with a double bicep flex for the hell of it, then started to reach for her phone before remembering it’d been reduced to an expensive paperweight. Robbed of her preferred vengeance, Zahn balled a hand into a fist and pounded a few frustrated punches into Elise’s midsection. “Evil bytch.” she grunted. “Don’t think you’ve escaped the Wall of Shame by breaking my phone? There’s plenty of ways for me to posterize a…” Lyssa trailed off as her gaze fell on the cameraman filming the action from the apron. “Perfect. Hey, dingus! I’m gonna need to borrow that!”
The poor dope waved a ‘thanks but no thanks’ hand to the brunette, a demurral that did shyt-all to slow Lyssa down once she’d hopped up from her smudgy-faced seat. “I’m sorry, did I stutter? You can give me the camera, or I can take it. Only one of those options results in you getting bytch slapped in front of a worldwide audience. Can you guess which one?”
“Jeeze, ok, ok, fine, just don’t break the damned thing.” the cameraman grumbled as he handed it over.
“Oh yeah, because I don’t know how to operate a camera.” Zahn scoffed as she set the rig down on her right shoulder. “F*ck on outta here, chuckles.”
Turning her back on the dope as she adjusted the focus, the Social Media Superstar honed in on Winterrest’s boots and began a slow pan up her insensate frame. “Hello world,” Lyssa called to everyone within the sound of her voice, “this is Lyssa Zahn, co-host of the Allard Archive, hottest camera operator in FAWN and most recently, victrix in tonight’s match over the snoozing trash currently cluttering up your screens. Elsie here thought she’d pulled one over on me by stomping my phone, but as you can see, I am the Queen of All Media and she’s nothing but another troll under the bridge.”
Lyssa came to a stop focused on Elise’s slumbering features.
“Behold, the Ass-matic Adjustable Face, the perfect seat for all your face sitting needs. Now featuring hapless burbling, a nose perfectly contoured for your crack and even tears on demand for those times when you absolutely, positively have to break a bytch before the night is over! Call now to purchase your own Ass-matic Adjustable Face, but don’t think you’re gonna get this one…” Zahn took a step forward and nudged Elise’s mug to the side so she could plant that boot atop the other brunette’s cheek. This was followed by a bit of jostling as Lyssa took the camera off her shoulder and spun it around so she was looking into the lens. “You can’t have this one, because it belongs to me. Isn’t that right, Elise?” The Black Hat tipped the world a wink, then added, “This is Lyssa Zahn, signing off. Now we’ll cut to someone not nearly as entertaining as I am. Take it away, Joanna!”