Halloween Hullabaloo

FAWN’s starting off All Hallow’s Eve off with a BANG! A 12 woman battle royal! Last woman standing wins, you eliminate opponents by throwing them over the top rope, to be eliminated both feet must touch the ground. FAWN officials Al Carpenter, Nick Castle, and Craig Long will be roaming outside of the ring to check each landing.

LET'S GET THINGS ROLLING!


KICK PUNCH BY ADAM WARROCK
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXma0EkrrYQ

“From Pleasant Valley, Iowa...She stands five feet, two inches tall, and weighs in tonight at one hundred twenty-five pounds...She is The Woman of 1,000 Hip Attacks and the first, current, and only Buns of Mass Destruction Champion...This is CASSAVA ONIKA!!”

CASSAVA ONIKA


The host of the hit online show Fawn Finds (now 7.5 million subscribers) saunters through the curtains full of barely restrained glee, cosplay being of her many passions the booty battler has been looking forward to this match for a long time. Cassava throws up a double bicep pose and lets her followers drink in her costume of choice. Always a supporter of superheroes of color, Onika’s ring togs are styled after DC Comics’ newest creation, NAOMI.

(https://insidepulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Naomi-House-Ad.jpg)

Possibly for the first time on camera Cassava’s legs are covered! Her thick thighs are wrapped in the tight black cotton that composed her sleeveless bodysuit, tucked neatly into her new black wrestling boots. On top of the bodysuit is faux armor composed of harvest gold PVC with snow white PVC making up the insignia on her covered chest, and highlighting her pauldrons. Tonight her hair, normally dyed blond in tribute to her controversial hero Kylie Sanders, is it’s natural raven black, framing her smiling face wonderfully.

Cassava does a quick spin to put her back to the approaching camera, giving her championship bearing, match winning and always crowd pleasing glutes a sassy side to side swish, as the hard cam zooms in to audience’s approval. Making her way down to ring Onika slaps the hands of fans new and old, she hops into a seat on the apron and rolls under the bottom rope into the ring. Breaking the cardinal rule that Fawn wrestlers that can show it off- do show it off as they enter the ring. The Iowan kips up into a fist on hips superhero pose, really loving her latest get-up. The only down note on a great night so far is Beckett was running late to the arena so she couldn't wish her luck before the match, not that she needed it. Cassava nests in a corner with hands on the top rope as she waits for the next entrant.


BLITZKRIEG BOP- ROB ZOMBIE
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSm9oVtolWE

It looks like the rumors are true! The dirtsheets and the Internet wrestling community have been abuzz with gossip that FAWN was negotiating a relationship Phoenix based promotion Ladies of Adventurous Wrestling and it looks like all that chatter has been confirmed!

Sarah Spencer jogs out onto the stage energized and pumping her fists, one holding a black and green tennis racket with a white handle. Mouthing the words of her theme song, the vast most of the crowd joining in, the remaining few fans that are not too knowledgeable of the Indie circuit are taking a liking to this fresh face.

The dusky LA beauty has her dark in neat cornrows ending in a large twisting bun at the back of her head. A deviation from her normal style, Sarah wanting to go full force in her halloween costume of Serena WIllams in her infamous catsuit that cost the tennis icon a match because of a selectively prudish and small minded referee. The short sleeved black bodysuit had less material down the outside of the legs for breathability and had a red “belt” circling the waist, and a white Nike symbol on her upper chest. The suit extended to just above Spencer’s ankles which wore black athletic socks, the LAW wrestler wearing black and grey Nike sneakers

SARAH SPENCER: media.self.com/photos/57d8c1b44b76f0f832a0f0e4/master/pass/kat-graham-abs-featured.jpg

COSTUME


“From Los Angeles, California… She stands five feet 2 inches tall… Weighing in at 122lbs… She is The Sporty One, The Angelic Athlete, “SPORTY” SARAH SPENCER!”

Her first moment in the big leagues is already off to a great start, Sarah runs down the ramp with boths arms out hi-fiving fans on each side, or hi-racketing if you were on her right. Triple S bounds up the steel steps swings her legs into the ring with great flourish and limbos under the top rope, bounding up the nearest turnbuckles she Raises the tennis racket to one more cheer before handing it off to an attendant.

“Omy gawd,Spencer!” Cassava gives her old LAW buddy a hug, “I didn’t know you were in town. Gonna be with us for a bit?”

“Ehh, every now and then,” Spencer chirps, shifting to Cassava’s side with an arm around her armored shoulders. “I’m not sure about the details of the contracts but expect to see some of your old sempais now and again.”

Sarah takes her arm off Onika and gives her a patented Sarah Spencer sportswomen-like pat on the butt before heading to her corner.

CRACK!

Cassava goes rigid and bites her lower lip to keep from yelping, her glutes will wobbling long after that “friendly” slap.
.
Damn it… forgot about that quirk of hers The Superfan thinks, backing into her own corner careful not press her smarting bottom against the buckle. Sarah does it to all her friends before a match but for some reason Cassava got it 10x as hard. It was awkward to bring up since Sarah doesn't seem aware of it... and it’s been going too long to bring it up in their first meeting in forever.

It’s the price you pay for having an ass that spankable.


YOUR FUCKIN HEAD SPLIT- NECRO
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqcv00Eb8Gc

The crowd erupts in a burst a wild euphoria, the music heralding a young wrestler currently experiencing a new height in her career. Danica Dadal explodes through the curtains pacing back and forth across the stage coaxing the screaming masses to scream louder.

DANICA DADAL


The once sweet and supportive Squire to the virtuous Victoria Hackenschmidt’s Knight, Danica had embraced her inner wild child and threw away her mental hang ups to become a two fisted tornado that beats down anything that moves, friend or foe. The pro wrestling community embraced this new “No Holds Barred” Danica, partially due to the Polish Pitbull’s finally leaning into her jaw dropping sexuality, the bombshell blonde just poured into a replica of Jamie London’s ring togs.

At first glance it was clear that Danica filled out the uniform VERY differently than the redheaded Brit; the top of the dark blue two piece is clearly struggling to keep her mountainous mammaries at bay, the bottoms show a bit more cheek than usual. The “Ka-Boom!” written across her glutes in red script arched downward in the middle that accentuates the curves of her buttocks, red pads and boots complete the ensemble.

“From Phoenix, Arizona by way of Atascadero … Standing at five feet, three inches… weighing in at one hundred and twenty three pounds… No longer a Squire, She is The Polish Pitbull, The Beautiful Berserker, DANICA DADAL!!”

She strolls down the ramp, long honey blonde hair swishing with each step; reaching out to hi-five a fan when she felt like it, near the outside circuit of the ring she spies an overly prepared couple carrying a sign saying, YOU OWE VICTORIA EVERYTHING!

Danica frowns at the sign. The hipster couple laying into her with pointed, verbiage seeing their chance to make the beloved betrayer reflect on her actions. In a flash of movement Danica hooks her fingers in the back of the girlfriend’s hair and and drives her shocked face into her cleavage! The boyfriend is sputtering, staring straight at the scene as a cackling Dadal gives his woman a thorough face scrubbing to a loudly approving crowd! Seeing security beginning to trickle in Danica shoves the gasping and disheveled fan back into her seat and struts onward to the ring with a mocking swivel in her step, and rolls into the ring.

“From Las Vegas, Nevada and Winter Park, Florida, weighing in at a combined weight of less than your mother --”

The announcer sighs heavily once he realizes what he’s just said, and he mutters into his microphone, “Really, again? Goddamn it...”

“SHUT UP AND READ, INCEL!” a shrill, screeching voice demands from behind the entrance curtain, though the man stays silent and crosses his arms in protest.

No matter though, the FAWNatics need no introduction to recognize the sisters of Phi Theta Tappa, and they begin booing sight unseen. Not even a change in ring anthem to Idina Menzel’s Let It Go distracts the crowd from slinging their hate at Allison Addison and Piper Sexton as the pair step onto the entrance ramp.


LET IT GO:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk

ALLISON ADDISON

PIPER SEXTON

Her fire-engine red hair hanging freely about her shoulders, Allison wears a light purple bandeau top that bares her midriff, and below the waist she wears long pants in sparkly green that are flared out at the ankles to resemble a fishtail. Matching green boots complete her ensemble.

Meanwhile, Piper has her blonde hair done into an elaborate French braid hanging over one shoulder. Were it not for the black boots underneath and the slits on either side that ran from calf to hip, Sexton’s long-sleeved, powder blue gown would’ve looked more suitable for the ballroom than the squared circle.

“YOU TWO ARE RUINING DISNEY FOR ME!” a particularly aggrieved fan wails in despair when the sorority sisters make their way past her ringside seat.

“Uh, excuse me, sperglord,” Allison scoffs at the young woman, “I don’t know what libtard fake news propaganda flicks you’ve been watching, but I’m clearly the hot fish-person from Academy Award winner The Taste of Water.”

Piper adds, “And I’m obviously the weather-control chick from Xavier’s School for the Retarded!”

When the fan’s expression twists in confusion, Sexton demonstrates for effect, repeatedly hitting herself with spasmodic, limp-wristed slaps to the chest as she crosses her eyes and bellows, “HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR--”

Addison cuffs her on the shoulder to get her to stop.
“Never go full retard, Pipes,” the redhead admonishes with a sagely shake of her head. “That’s how you become British.”

The willfully ignorant, hate spreading duo slide into the ring like seals, the sorority sisters try to establish their rightful place as ring generals, getting into the faces of the LAW imports talking trash.

“Are you girls from south of the border? Cause taking jobs away from REAL FAWN wrestlers who here here first.”

“That’s right Piper! This is some Affirmative Action bullshit” Addison eyes the smiling Danica’s beach blonde looks, “You might have potential, but miss me with that gay shit.”

“Why? You know you want a motorboat,” Danica sticks out her bazookas at the Phi Theta Tappa, ”’Course I’ll need to see how big your cheque book is first.”


“From Arkham Massachusetts and Greentown Illinois respectively and weighing in at a combined total of two hundred and fifty-five pounds and standing at 5’5 and 5’6… Eve Choldstone and Calliope, they are THE FRIGHTENERS!”

BSZFOS- KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1L3f2oL41k

The Rogue’s Gallery let loose with a peal of maniacal laughter as static and the distinctive warble of a Theremin filled the arena. This was joined after several seconds by slow, distorted chuckles from a single throat, though the pitch and volume changed to frequently it could’ve been a whole chorus of lunatics. The house lights went next, dimming to almost nothing before a bank of spotlights on the stage roared back in an insane panoply of colors. The chaotic duo were denied their usual blizzard of balloons and mood setting mist for the sake of time constraints, but it was a fine trade to let loose for the night; Eve Choldstone dressed as a femine version of her favorite character since kindergarten Freddy Kreuger, his signature brown fedora rested low nearly covering her dark brown eyes. Her version of the demon’s red and black striped sweater was more of a long-sleeved minidress whose frayed hemline ended just beyond the juncture of her pantyhosed thighs, 4 slashes across the middle under chest glimpsed the pale skin of her toned middle and belly button. A replica bladed glove on Eve’s left, the edges dull by Bethany Christan’s decree, not trusting the brunette even with the plastic knives at catering. Eve slashed her hands at the nearby fans, some recoiling in jest others genuinely fearful knowing what the nihilist was capable of.

EVE CHOLDSTONE


COSTUME
i.pinimg.com/736x/c3/6f/19/c36f194f173d484556b292d9d9125c9a--epic-costumes-costumes-for-women.jpg

Accompanying The Fallen Angel of Arkham as always was The Queen of Outrè Space Calliope, though at first glance you’d never believe it was it her! If you ask the average FAWNatic to describe the lovable lunatic you get the image of a psychedelic clown, or the serious manipulator that was her alter ego Candice Akley. Tonight Calliope looked downright pleasant! Her hair framed her head in a bob of gold curls, dressed in a soft looking long sleeved, white sweater with a summery gold leaf embroidering. A pleated, A-line grey skirt went past her knees highlighting the tan of her thighs down to her shiny black ankle boots. The one concerning element was the smiling Calliope’s cute little apron, which a light spattering of red that could only be blood, the FAWN PR team prays it not human.

COSTUME
i.pinimg.com/originals/a3/9e/0f/a39e0fdc5c2ed9bd8dae0e0da00a4617.jpg

The Damsel of Disorder had one arm behind her back the entire time she passed the curtain, finally stretching her limb out and high the air revealed a smallish butcher’s knife consecrated with the same red liquid as her apron. Waving the potential key evidence like a magic wand she turns to her terror of Elm Street.
“I love this holiday! It’s like someone made chilli with my thoughts and splashed it on the world!”

“I was thinking the exact same thing,” Eve spoke with contentment of waking up on a surprisingly calm Christmas morning with her loved ones.

“Let’s fuck’ em up!”

Calliope gave a burst of laughter and stuck her blade between her teeth(edge outward) and bounded down the ramp in a series of flips, cartwheels, tumbles and handsprings. The gymnastics causing her skirt to flip up and down giving the fans extended looks at Calliope’s era appropriate conservative women’s underbottoms. Eve stalked her way down the ring doing a pitch perfect impression of Robert Englund stalking a teenager, right down to his gravely pronunciation of “Bitch.”

Closing on the edge of the squared circle, Eve and Calliope slid under the bottom rope and popped to their feet, then stormed across the ring to the set of ropes facing the hard camera. Ignoring the quintet of women already occupying the ring(not that they recognized most of them) The Frighteners mounted the second rope, leaned back to ‘cut’ their throats with their knife glove and meat cleaver respectively, finishing by ‘Pppffffwoooosssshing’ stereo clouds of black mist into the sky overhead. Hopping down as the mist stippled their shoulders and biceps, Eve and Cali offered their foes matching malicious smiles before heading to the last unoccupied corner so Al Carpenter could nervously take away their cutting utensils

“From Los Angeles, California… THEE Ultimate Angel from the City… She stands five feet seven inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and thirty-eight pounds! She is the ONLY woman in Creation BOOTYFUL enough to partner with the Nubian Queen... She is the former Queen of the Jungle, and a multi-Mexican champion... Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Siren, KEEENNNDDDRRRAAA LaaaRRRUUUEEE!!!!!”


BOOTY- JENNIFER LOPEZ FT. IGGY AZALEA
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxtIRArhVD4

Going with her singles theme tonight steps out the Bootyshocker Lieutenant Kendra LaRue. Her mentor and tag partner tearing it up in New Zealand this month The Jungle Queen was on her own, not that it affected her confidence. This bootylicious bitch had a sizable height and weight advantage on everyone in the ring so far(mention that latter and she’ll break your jaw) not to mention a more impressive resume when it comes to gold. Kendra’s exotically beautiful face contorted in smug satisfaction locking eyes with a simmering Cassava, their war for the Buns of Mass Destruction title is at a cold phase till Bootyshock fulfills their outside FAWN obligations, Christian was not risking any title being stolen from the company, unofficial or not.

KENDRA LARUE


Plus there was the matter of Cassava’s best zebra friend Merle, LaRue had taken what Onika considered a shallow and unhealthy interest in hapless ref, bullying Merle into one awkward situation after another. This last week LaRue had him acting as her personal assistant under the boss’s orders, even lightly dabbing the sweat off her forehead and other more salacious body parts during a photoshoot, which quite frankly Cassava questioned the veracity given she received several of the photos personally through the mail, and how many of them contained Kendra sitting on a struggling Merle’s face.

Her ensemble for tonight might ruffle a few feminst’s feathers, a ririsqué portrayal of Rosie The Riveter. Kendra’s long dark hair rested on her head in a messy but alluring nest with a few strands loose to frame her face, and a red bandana with white polka dots tied in the front. A dark blue, short sleeved and short panted cotton jumpsuit hugged her powerful form, a white patch with red stitching named her “Rosie” just above her right breast which was on display in a bright blue lace bra visible by the undone top three of her white buttons. A red belt circled Kendra’s waist highlighting the miles of leg left uncovered till your eye traveled down to her bright red wrestling boots.

COSTUME- CLOSEST EQUIVALENT
assets.yandycdn.com/Products/DL_19414_2_C2013.jpg

The Siren’s sashay down the aisle eventually led her to ringside, Kendra ascending the staircase with the sassiest of swishes in her hips. Sauntering to the midpoint of the apron, LaRue slipped a shapely gam through the ropes. Still straddling the cable, the brunette turned her head to address the crowd. “If any of you losers and cretins have a heart condition, I suggest you avert your eyes now.” With that, Kendra bent deeply at the waist and ever so slooooooooooowly drew her upper body into the ring in a manner that best accentuated her most prized asset...

... and quite possibly created a few new heart patients in the process.

The future BMD challenger locks eyes with Cassava as she moves to an occupied space near Danica Dadal, not paying the LAW immigrant any mind.


SKYFALL- ADELE
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeumyOzKqgI

"From Dublin, Ireland… She stands at 5 foot 6 inches... Weighing in at 127 pounds... She is the Femme Fatale, SERA QUINN!"

The arena darkens with a single circular spotlight illuminating the entrance to the arena as the theme of 007's Skyfall by Adele starts to play through the PA system. A tall shadow figure struts into the spotlight and holds her fingers up in the shape of a gun before "firing' down the ramp with precisely timed pyrotechnic. Out of the spotlight comes the aspiring rookie who had won a six pack challenge against her fellow Jungle Dwellers to earn her spot in the match tonight.

This evening, the Femme Fatale is dressed as one of her fictional heroes from the Marvel Universe, The Black Widow. Visually similar to her usual catsuit, Sera’s comic book cosplay is a jet black militaristic slant with visually rougher texture. A belt with pouches no doubt containing various counter intelligence gadgets circled her waist, superfluously, given how tight the material clung to her body. An empty thigh holster made of rubber is cinched high on her left leg, she wore a pair of fingerless black gloves with Romanov’s signature wrist gauntlets, a smaller belt went around her midsection with The Widow’s hourglass insignia covering Sera’s navel. She even went so far as to dye her normally blonde hair a brilliant shade of red, Sera’s actually quite the connoisseur of fictional spies and keeping her golden locks would reference a different MU character and involve tons of tedious explanations.

SERA QUINN


COSTUME


Sera Quinn ambles down the ramp striking the odd action pose for the cameras before high stepping her black boots over the middle ropes and takes a spot in the more Face heavy side of ring. Once she’s situated she gets a quick hi-five from Cassava who’s also rocking a superheroine costume.


FRENCH NATIONAL ANTHEM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K1q9Ntcr5g

The FAWNatics turn from sweet to sour as Le Marseille blares through the speakers, the dark hearted pixie’s mere aura grates on the nerves of everyone in the building… except for Cassava, who was downright giddy!. As a proud, card carrying member of the Kylie Corps her first match against the former Huggable was a dream come true! The BMD camp was bouncing excitedly, the lone applause among a sea of boos as the Penthouse Parthénope steps out onto the stage. The French contingent of Hot n Bothered is decked out in a surprisingly patriotic ensemble; a heart racing facilme of the statue of Liberty. A seven pointed teal green crown framed her long brown hair, a matching multi cut-out bodice with shimmering halter straps connecting the cups and high waisted shorts, and Grecian style gold sandals fitted with wrestling soles. In her right hand a large, silver plastic torch with ablaze with plastic flame promising freedom and a new life for plastic people.

COSETTE LEBLANC


COSTUME(CLOSEST APPROXIMATION)


“She iz a creation of France, a TRUE country! And we are taking her back!” The once huggable but now detestable speaks down to the American swine from center stage with her button nose in the air. She gives her long chocolate locks a ferocious shake before striding confidently to the battleground.

“Making her way to the ring! Standing 5 feet 2 inches tall! weighing in at a 101 pounds from Nice, France... COSETTE LEBLANC!”

As Cosette nears the ring Cassava heads to the ropes turns her back and sits on the middle coil while pushing up on the top, graciously giving the lightweight easy access to the bewilderment of the other women, including Cosette. Since her turn to the dark side Kylie’s former tag partner is rarely greeted with such open friendliness. Pausing a moment to assess whether or not the Online Sensation is planning some sort of ambush LeBlanc’s eyes linger on the ingénue’s weighty behind, flashbacks of wars fought by side by side with Sanders against Lakeisha Bates run through her mind. She pushes them aside and steps through the offered path as elegantly as some from the birthplace democracy would, not wanting to show weakness in front of les chiennes that obstruct her vision.

“Miss LeBlanc I am a HUGE fan of yours,” Cassava has her fists balled up in front of her chest in nervousness ”Do you think I could please get your autograph after the show?”

Cosette raises an eyebrow, a bit taken aback. It’s been a while since she got that look of earnestness of a fan and never from another wrestler. She turns and walks away sharply whipping her hair into Onika’s face. The BMD champ blinks rapidly spitting the taste of her shampoo out of her mouth,

“That was awesome.”


SEX ON WHEELZ- MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL CULT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfsbLhptmS4

It takes the audience a moment to recognize the 80’s hair jam before the Pavlovian boos start to rain down for Seah Sin. Using her rarely heard singles theme as the rest of the Asian Invasion are on an ass kicking tour of the Pacific Rim, Seah taking a brief detour to maintain a dominant stake in the West while her cohorts showcase their skills in Cambodia. For the halloween themed PPV Seah is decked out as one of the few Korean characters in Western pop culture, the Street fighter fan favorite Juri Han. A red variant of her default costume Seah pulls at the mma style gloves and does some last minute adjustments to the leather halter top, her bare feet slapping the metal of the ramp offers the crowd or the camera no no acknowledgement or playing up of the costume beyond the fact she was wearing one, although she did give a young Asian fan a nod as she walks past. Bounding onto the apron Sin grasps the top rope and vaults over easily, moving into Kendra’s personal space. Identifying her as the largest threat.

SEAH SIN


COSTUME




And then the lights go out.

In the ensuing darkness, a buzz of excitement rises among the FAWN faithful, as there are a few possibilities of who the final entrant might be. After a pause juuuuust long enough for the assembled masses to wonder what will happen next, lilting mocking laughter fills the Arena’s PA system, followed by a female voice speaking in Japanese.

"Onegaigoto no tsumori? Motto mashi-na tanomi hou nai no."

The spoken words appear on the FAWNtron in kanji, accompanied by their English translation - ”You call that begging? You can beg better than that.” - underneath.

When the words fade back into darkness, the sound of air raid sirens fills the air and red searchlights scan the crowd, causing the FAWNatics to explode in joyous applause, as they now knew who it was. Sure enough, the words “KANAKO AKIYAMA” appear on the big screen in kanji, looking as though they were painted in blood. After a few moments, the kanji characters morph into their English equivalent. Before long, the sirens fade and the searchlights halt at the top of the stage, and the opening riff to Halestorm’s “Black Vultures” squeals over the PA system.

BLACK VULTURES: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwHXqeYhtZI

As a dry ice fog fills the stage, a petite woman who looks like she’s dressed as a schoolgirl, and is carrying some sort of chain, strides out from the shadows. As the lights come back up, she begins marching towards the stage, a confident grin on her face.

“And the final participant, making her return to FAWN Arena...From Los Angeles, California...She stands five feet, two inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred fourteen pounds...She is the Modern Day Ronin...Please welcome back KANAKO AKIYAMA!!!”

KANAKO AKIYAMA:

The fans loudly fulfill the ring announcer’s request, showering their returning warrior with roars of applause and scattered chants of “WEL-COME BACK!! WEL-COME BACK!!” With the lights now up, fans could see that Kanako had chosen the Kill Bill villain Gogo Yubari as her costume for this unique battle royal, complete with a replica of her meteor hammer weapon.



Fans could also see that, despite the costume, Kanako had undergone some other changes as well. Her nose and lip were now pierced, along with several studs scattered along both ears. Along with that, though her jet black hair was as long, and perhaps even a bit longer, as it had been before she shaved her own head over eighteen months ago, the entire right side of her head was shaved clean. Kanako had been seen in public with Trixie Decker in the weeks and months following her gruesome in-ring ankle injury that put the Tokyo Tiger on the shelf, and rumors persisted that the seemingly dissimilar pair had become an item. Perhaps, some would speculate, this new look for Kanako was an effect of her new goth girlfriend’s influence. At the foot of the entrance ramp, Kanako stops and begins twirling the meteor hammer overhead, making elaborate movements with the chained weapon to show that it wasn’t there just as a prop. She then releases, throwing the spiked metal ball, sending it into the ring steps with a CLANG! that startles the wrestlers nearby, and sends Phi Theta Tappa scurrying to the farthest end of the ring, remembering how Kanako had wiped them out during her reign of terror last year. Indeed, many of Kanako’s competition for the night vividly remembered the Japanese girl’s so-called “Broken Mask” phase, and they regarded her with unease as she set the meteor hammer under the ring and rolled in under the bottom rope, stepping aside to give the diminutive fighter a wide berth. The disquiet in the ring upon her arrival does not escape the Modern Day Ronin’s notice, and while it does disappoint her to see several wrestlers she respects regard her so warily, she is determined to not let it spoil her return. She goes over to the nearest corner, prompting the newcomers, Spencer and Dadal, to step aside for the FAWN Rookie of the Year, and she ascends to the top, pumping her fist and giving the Fawn faithful a wordless war cry shout. She then launches herself off the top turnbuckle in a breathtaking backflip, making landfall in the center of the ring, purposely and gracefully landing solely on her right foot to show both the fans and her competition that her previously injured ankle was back to one hundred percent. She allows herself a satisfied (but not arrogant) smirk as she rises to her feet, only to be met by the one person that didn’t regard Akiyama within the spectrum of fear and discomfort: Cassava Onika.

“Oh my Gawd! Kan Kan! I didn’t know you were returning tonight!” The Superfan shocks not just the wrestlers but the surrounding audience by wrapping up the walking buzzsaw in a tight, enthusiastic bear hug. The cool, stoic badass aura disappeared as Kanako let out a femine “ah!” as her not immodest chest flattens against Cassava’s larger hills, her shocking new bestie able to get nipple on nipple contact with every Akiyama hug with disturbing accuracy.

Kanako gave her newest friend a return squeeze and wormed some distance between her and Cassava, The BMD hands now resting on returning striker’s elbows, “I wanted to surprise you. I shook my ring rust with our match in Daytona, so I wanted to you to have my first match back.”

“Awww…” Onika gave her awesome new friend another tit crushing hug, Ignorant or just ignoring the puzzled murmurs around them, and PTT’s “new dyke duo” remarks. Onika releases Kanako and pats her on the shoulder.

“I’m honored. Don’t think I’m gonna take it easy, you’re getting a double serving of cake tonight!”

Kanako smiles with a bit of her competitive streak peeking through, “Don’t worry about it, I plan to-hey… no touching!” Kanako involuntarily giggles as Cassava gushes over her costume’s skirt causing many a raised eyebrow this new side The Superfan brings out of the woman who seemed to make her mission to remove “evil bitches” from FAWN with extreme prejudice prior to her injury.

Finally prying Cassava’s ticklish fingers away Kanako backs up a few feet, “I like your costume too, I’m still going to be kicking your booty all over this ring.”

Cassava chuckled, “It felt weird saying booty didn’t it?”

“It did. I’m not doing it again,” Kanako shakes her head, shrugging off the notion of trying to match her hip friend.

DING! DING!

All fighters tense at the bell’s echos but a RRRIPP! Takes them out of fight mode a beat before Danica’s top and bottoms hit Sarah Spencer and Kendra LaRue respectively. Danica starts her FAWN career and the Hullabaloo with a massive pop by shredding her London gear and revealing a tantalizing string bikini patterned off the american flag. Danica’s triple D cups are are less than half concealed, an errant jiggle and the FAWNatics will be treated to some apple pies on the window sill.



Springing into action Danica does her best Maiden America impression leaping astride a still blinded Kendra’s shoulders and taking her to the canvas with a hurricanrana to school girl pin, of course pinfalls don’t count in this match so the Polish Pitbull starts drilling LaRue’s skull with one hand and keeping her blind with the torn pants..

“GET HER!!” Alison screeches at her partner, pointing to Spencer, “SHE’S GOT THE STINK OF LOSER ALL OVER HER!!” Sensing that the minor leaguer would be easy prey, even before being blinded by the intruding top, Piper and Alison bum rush Triple S and try to bully her into the ring ropes, keeping her doubled over with a wild barrage of blows to the back. Sarah finally gets the stretched-out Jaimie London top off her head and starts returning fire, but it’s a losing battle so far, as the Mean Girls are practically smothering her with fist and boot.

Old debts still unsettled between Akiyama and the Aisan Invasion Seah Sin immediately rushes over to Kanako with a deadly Yakuza kick that the Buzzsaw rolls under, Seah stops on a dime and whips out her other leg with a back spin kick but Kanako slips out of range in back in for a retaliatory roundhouse kick aimed at Sin’s temple. Seah captures the swinging stem under her arm and ducks the follow up enzugiri that makes Kanako’s belly slap the mat, Seah drops the stolen leg and leaps into the air for a double foot stomp to Akiyama’s lower back but she rolls out of the way out of the last minute. Kanako extends a stem that sweeps Seah’s ankles but the invader saves herself with cartwheel. Sin rotates rightside up at the same time Akiyama kips up, each ready to continue this high speed exchange in dual martial arts poses.

“I’ve not forgotten you, traitor!” Seah sneers at her dance partner as they face off, “I’m gonna make you pay for sticking your nose into Asian Invasion business!”

“That was, what, eighteen months ago?” Kanako growls back before a mocking smirk crosses her lips, “Not like I’m hard to find, Sin! What, did your chickenshit boss not think it a good idea to come at me back when I was putting bitches like you in the hospital?” Unable to stomach this bitch insulting her leader, Seah lunges at Kanako with a snarl, only to have the Tokyo Tiger sidestep the Korean’s clumsy grapple and respond with a scorpion kick that staggers her foe. Akiyama follows it up by grabbing the stunned girl across her collarbone and behind her neck, locking her hands and leaping into the air, bringing Seah with her and driving her to the mat with a back-rattling standing Spanish Fly!

STANDING SPANISH FLY: www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5koIBYdWvc

Sera and Cosette found themselves an unlikely team when The Frighteners picked them as their first victims, Choldstone gave up her bladed glove so she made due by raking her nails down LeBlanc’s back after dodging a haymaker. As the Frenchwoman hissed, Eve shoved her into a corner and started caving in her midsection with stiff kicks. Sera finds herself trapped in a waistlock then promptly deposited on her head and shoulders with a German suplex, Calliope is shockingly no nonsense swiftly transitioning to to a Cobra Clutch and Bodyscissors also known as the Pennywise Lock and cinching it in tight.

“You could be anything and you chose to be a slightly different spy? I’m offended!” The One Woman Freakshow wrenches the hold back and forth as she admonishes the clandestine cutie.

“This feels like old times doesn't it,” Eve reminisces while cracking part of Cozy’s face away with a palm thrust, she grabs a limp arm and yanks her out of the buckles with a crisp Irish whip and pulls her back in for a short-arm clothesline, LeBlanc ducks while trapping Eve’s arm against her side as she uses the Fallen Angel as a stripper pole. Spinning around and kicking off the ropes for a tornado DDT-Eve stops her cranium collision by going into a handstand at the last moment! Cosette scrambles to her feet but Choldstone is a bit faster and lands a high knee to her forehead. Cosette has her bell rung and drops onto her calves dazed and confused.

“Do a flip!,’ Eve requests, hauling Cosette up via double chicken wing, the taller brunette forces the high flyer to take a few steps back in prep for a bum’s rush over the top rope, but takes a bum rushing itself into her upper back, courtesy of Cassava Onika! Seeing Kylie’s spiritual sister in trouble Cassava sprinted over (stepping on Calliope’s head along the way, freeing Sera) and rams a hip attack between Eve’s shoulder blades, sending her and Cosette into a tumble. Eve lands badly on her face so she needs a few extra seconds to get up, time in which Cassava helps Cosette to her feet like she was made of precious glass.

“Sorry about the roughhousing Miss LeBlanc, want to?-”

“BLAIREAU!”

Cosette turns away from Cassava without a word of gratitude and begins putting sandal prints in a prostrating Eve’s back, Cassava quickly joining in, eager to prove herself to her villainous hero.

Having been freed from the former killer clown’s clutches Sera strikes at opportunity like an assassin's bullet. Slithering on her side to get head to head with Calliope in a north/south alignment and securing a tight facelock. Sera drives a couple knee strikes to the sometimes Candice Akely’s noggin to stun her, then forces the horror housewife into a disorienting back and forth spin along the mat, mixing in the odd knee to keep her good and submissive.

GATOR ROLL
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXUMe0ldsgg


“Espionage and Superheros are entirely different archetypes,” Quinn hisses a defence of her Halloween fashion while pouring on the pressure with her arms, making Calliope bleat. Sera raises a haunch to drive another knee home, but Calliope-figuring out the sharpshooter’s pattern- wrenches forward making both of them roll under the bottom rope and fall off the apron. The Russian spy and bloody June Cleaver SPLAT on the padded concrete breaking the Gator hold. Grimacing and rubbing the part of her back that hit the floor first, Quinn cocks a fist back ready to go Women’s Lib all over Akely’s face but the clown turned homemaker is nowhere to be found. Whipping her gaze all around the stadium and into the ring Sera could see no trace of Calliope, even checking the FAWNtron for the Frightener yielded no results. Calliope managing to hide her form from the expert cameramen of the big money wrestling league.

Where did she go?

Meanwhile, the Angelic Athlete is having no better luck against the sorority sisters, the numbers game being seemingly too much to overcome. Piper had taken to choking her with Danica’s discarded top, while Addison took shots at her wide-open body.

“Welcome to the big leagues, fresh meat!” Alison sneers derisively, “Unfortunately, there’s no room for affirmative action charity cases like you around here, so we’re gonna have to send you back to whatever rat-infested shithole you came from!”

“Hey, Alison! You’ve been hogging all the fun, let me take some shots at this nappy-headed thot!” Piper whines.

“Sure thing, Pipes!” the redhead answers with a malicious grin as she takes hold of the top for them to switch places, “Just make sure you mess her up good before we send her packing!”

Now was her chance! As she felt the noose around her neck slacken as the Mean Girls switched positions, Sarah quickly dipped under Piper’s reach and behind her, grabbing generous handfuls of Sexton’s blonde tresses and her trunks, spinning her around and over the top rope! Caught off-guard as she was, Piper lacks the presence of mind to grab the top strand to save herself, so she tumbles to the floor, her ass hitting the ring apron on the way down.

I DID IT!! Sarah’s mind screams as the FAWN Faithful explode with a combination of applause and laughter at seeing one-half of the hated duo becomes the first elimination; and at the hands of a newcomer from another fed, no less! Both Spencer and Addison stood there, mouths agape, shocked albeit for different reasons at this turn of events.

“Whoa! Whoa there dumpy!”

Danica chided the still blinded Kendra like a disobedient horse, the Bootyshocker could get the British togs off her face or shove the busty nobody off of her Kendra twists violently flopping Danica onto her shoulder. Using her larger size LaRue grabs Danica’s wrists and muscles the smaller girl’s shoulders flat, Kendra’s shoulders in the pits of her knees. Using the immense power in her immense glutes The Jungle Queen deadlifts Dadal off the mat into the powerbomb position.

“Goddamn BLONDES!”

Lakeisha’s tutelage rearing it’s somewhat controversial head LaRue drives the LAW immigrant down with ring shaking authority! Momentarily disrupting the other battles in the squared circle with its aftershocks. LaRue stands tall above a starfished and spasming Danica, her massive chest quaking in its insufficient confines with every heave. Finally Kendra rips off the Jamie London imitation togs from her face and throws it to the outside, now able to see for the first time since the bell rung she takes a quick gaze of her surroundings to make sure she won’t be ambushed then casts her cold beautiful face onto the tiny White girl who tried to make her bones off The Siren. With no pageantry or warning Kendra pushes off her thick legs nearly clearing the living speed bump and landing ass first on Danica’s face! Her features now hidden Danica’s nose is forced DEEP between the cheeks of bottom heavy buster. Danica’s body twitches as Kendra does a few quick victory laps, her god given assets doing figure eights on Dadal’s proboscis.

“Normally I’d Siren Bomb your ass till your implants explode but I’m on a schedule,” Kendra explains as she gives one more hands-free squeeze before dislodging from a greasy faced Dadal. Whirling the clearly dyed blonde’s hair around her manicured fingers Kendra peels The Polish Pitbull off the canvas and goes to throw her over the top rope like dirty laundry. A few steps away from being tossed Danica deadweights and slumps to being dragged one one knee, a searing pull on the scalp a fine tradeoff for forcing an arm through Kendra’s legs and hoist the Calephygan wrestler onto a shoulder. The crowd pops at this show of strength from the pint sized wrestler with the jugg sized breasts, Danica’s about to fire off a biting remark about the weight of Kendra’s ass when The Siren executes a perfect backroll off Danica’s shoulder onto her boots. Kendra hooks an arm under Dadal’s and takes the Beautiful Berserker off her feet for a Hip Toss that Dadal seamlessly counters with one of her own that Kendra parrys with an Irish Whip that Danica reverses Irish Whip so forceful she falls flat in the process, ending the combative tango.

With that, the Polish Pitbull’s attention is drawn to the action in the ropes closest to her, having just caught her LAW compatriot eliminating Piper Sexton. Content to sit back and observe, she keeps her head on a swivel as she watches Addison recover from the shock a bit quicker than Spencer, coming up behind the Angelic Athlete with a handful of hair in one hand and trunks in the other, as she dumps the minor leaguer up and over, joining Sexton down on the floor.

“GO BACK TO THE INDIES, LOSER!!” the Mean Girl shrieks at Triple S, “YOU DON’T BELONG HEEEEERE!!!” Addison’s last word is drawn out, as she feels a pair of hands grab her in a similar fashion to how she had just grabbed Sarah. “WHAT THE FUCK??!!” she screeches as Danica seizes the opportunity to eject Addison from the ring just as she had done to Sarah.

“You FAWN gals are all talk, Vic and I should have come up and grabbed all the titles a long time ago!”

Danica gleefully took in the commotion below and loudly trash talked FAWN in general and Phi Theta Tappa, who have spitefully resumed their mugging of Sarah Spencer. Leaning against the top rope with both hands gripping, Danica’s internet crashing chest was pushed up by the rubber-coated steel and was one jiggle away from freeing themselves from the stars and stripes bikini. Something the producers clearly noticed as the cameraman got word to zoom in heavily on The Squire’s enormous cleavage.

Danica smirked at the building-shaking catcalls, “Yeah get a good look, every woman in this overrated company is taking a nap between thesehhEEY!”

Having finally righted herself Kendra stomped over to the blonde upstart (no relation) bent over, grabbed her ankles and flips her over the ropes!

But Dadal’s not finished yet; the buxom brawler keeps her grip on the coil so she ends up standing on the apron facing the audience. Kendra slams a forearm in the back of Danica’s neck but she’s not breaking her grip, the Bootyshocker throws another but Danica ducks, spins, and digs a shoulderblock between the ropes and into LaRue’s middle. The brunette lets out a breathy groan down the blonde’s spine then a desperate yell as she was raised in the air via a back body drop. Desperate to save herself and already sliding down the LAW wrestler’s back Kendra frantically reaches for a handhold and gets her fingers around the middle coil as she falls, tucking in her legs to avoid touching the floor as she swings from her hold onto the apron as well, nearly wrenching her shoulder in the process.

After a beat to settle themselves LaRue and Dadal start trading chops to rack while keeping one hand tightly clasped on the top rope. The crowd booing when LaRue smacks Polish jugg and cheering when Dadal crushes Aremenian tit. Eventually Danica starts landing two hits for every one of Kendra’s, then three, then Danica’s just blasting enemy jugg unopposed; LaRue wilting and backing down the apron. With a dominant yell Danica backs up a few steps to put some pep in her her lariat and surges forward! And Danica gets her face kicked off! Kendra quits playing possum and explodes toward the the LAW immigrant with a Yakuza kick thats hits with pinpoint accuracy, Dadal is sent flying off her feet and crashing into the PTT/Triple S scrum, sprawling all four women out on the floor. LaRue pops a bicep similar to her Rosie the Riveter coating as referees move to collect the foursome.

That proves easier said than done, as the Sorority Sisters are far from done berating the LAW invaders. Spencer and Dadal are having none of it, and are shouting insults back at the Mean Girls, and just like that, the brawl explodes anew, to the delight of the FAWNatics. After a cursory attempt to separate them proves utterly useless, the zebras signal to the back, summoning security. Close to a dozen blackshirts are necessary to pull them all apart, first dragging a kicking, screaming, and cursing Addison and Sexton to the back. After putting their hands up placatingly, assuring the remaining guards that they’re fine now that the offending pair have been removed, Spencer and Dadal are allowed to vacate on their own power. At the top of the entrance ramp, the two minor leaguers glance at each other.

“Thanks for the assist, Dani,” Sarah says to the Polish Pitbull, “After everything that’s gone down over the last month or so, I half-expected you to help them beat me up.”

“Hey,” Danica answers with a smile, “don’t sweat it. Us LAW girls gotta stick together when we’re in hostile territory, right?” With that, she sticks out her fist, which the Angelic Athlete bumps to a round of appreciative applause before the hot prospects make their exit.

The former champion of Mexico was sent hurtling toward Seah and Kanako still locked in heated rivalry, by all appearances dead to the outside world, only concerned with each other’s unacceptable presence and the obsession to rid themselves of it. Momentarily denied eliminating the cheapshoting skank LaRue will relieve her stress by eliminating the Asians two for the price of one double clothesline. Kendra stretches her arms wide to decapitate the ignorant pair- Kendra takes simultaneous superkicks to her breasts!

Moving with the synchronicity of an expericined tag team Akiyama and Sin halt their dueling palm strikes and each lash out a dangerous leg to flatten Kendra’s tits into her breastbone. The giant in this battle royal falls from her beanstalk, kicked clean off her feet and knocked ass over teakettle, LaRue’s wobbling tuchas is in the air for pics as she massages the feeling back into her breasts. No word is uttered from Kanako or Seah to insult or even acknowledge the intruder and they resume their single minded personal grudge. The sound of stiff kicks cracking off thighs and hips echo as they relock into a death glare. Cassava sees her recent bully go down and savours the taste of sour grapes.

“Haha! Kicks beat tits, bitch! YouuuWAaaargh!”

Fingers interlocked behind Choldstone’s skull, Cassava kept The Fallen Angel of Arkham in a Full Nelson as Cosette wore down her body with kicks, chops, punches, and the odd bitch slap to the face. The aesthetically patriotic pixie steps closer to yell some French abuses into Eve’s face at the exact moment Cassava’s focus diverts to the Bootyshock Lieutenant. Either it’s veteran experience or just a natural instinct Eve uses this exact moment to kick out both her feet right into LeBlanc’s face and stick her arms straight up to escape Onika’s hold, dropping on her toned ass. Cosette stumbles back eyes watering from the boot rhinoplasty while a slick as oil Eve spins behind a shocked Cassava, rises and locks The BMD into her own full nelson and matrixes Cassava into a Snap Dragon Suplex!.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr81U8vDZF4

Brains rattling, Cassava rolls backward onto her belly out of the fight, counting canaries, Eve springs to her feet just as Cosette composes herself. Before the Hot n Bothered member can do more than put up a begging hand Choldstone runs up and leaves an imprint of her boot on Cosette’s cheekbone!

youtu.be/dBA3lQbZdE4?t=49

The green clad LeBlanc flops boneless to ground, dead to the world. The gender bent horror icon shoves Cosette onto her face and takes her by the top and bottoms and hauls the Frenchie up, giving Cosette a bit of a wedgie in the process. Eve threatens her cargo as she gives her the hobo’s hurry out of the bout.

“I don’t know who the fangirl in spandex is, but I’m throwing her ass first onto your face in a minute.”

The walking nightmare swings Cosette in a circle to build momentum before giving her an underhanded toss over the top coil- LeBlanc swings frantically at the last second hooking an elbow on the second rope, saving herself at the last moment! The pixie hangs on the second rope for dear life as her dainty feet kick in the air. Eve huffs her frustration and storms over to kick this barnacle off her boat, she swings back a leg for some sweet teeth music but is rocked from behind with Onika’s behind! Shaking off her dizziness to save one of her childhood crushes, Cassava gets and chases after the fallen angel and flips forward bashing her mallet of a behind once again between Eve’s shoulders. The waylaid Frightner chokes back a curse as she knocked through the gap between the first ropes, widened by the dangling Cosette’s weight.

The weirdly sexy Kreuger lands awkwardly on the padded pavement getting a groan from the audience. To her credit Eve powered through the pain and forced herself back up to kick some ass… only to her face immediately swallowed up by a flying LeBlan’s thighs and whipped hard into the barricade with a headscissors.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-UDySGHo6E

After being saved once again by that bottom heavy stalker Cosette rolls back into the ring and slinks under the middle rope to prevent a self-elimination as she gives Choldstone a ride on the Roue de Paris. The former Huggable just berates a writhing Eve as she stands above haughtily.

“Vous êtes une prostituée stupide! Chienne folle! Vous apprendrez votre place!”

“I don’t speak Portuguese, never-was. Does Kylie even speak to you direcOOFFF!”

It doesn't seem to be Eve’s night; Cassava’s ass seems to be magnetically drawn to the nihilist brunette. The Milk Chocolate Mauler leapt off the apron in a spinning senton to crush Eve’s abdomen beneath her cheeks, Cassava spins on Choldstone’s belly to yell in her face directly.

“YOU SPEAK TO MS. LEBLANC WITH REVERENCE YOU MANIC!!”

Onika dismounts with a parting kick to the side and looks to one of her idols, “Want to soften her up a bit more before taking her out?”

Cosette smiles pleasantly as possible, trying to hide her nervousness from this clearly unhinged Lakeisha clone.

“Oui.”

Meanwhile, their little interruption from Kendra LaRue notwithstanding, Kanako and Seah continued to put on a clinic of fast-paced move and counter-move that whetted the audience’s appetite of what a full match between the two lightweights might be like. Sin follows up a missed roundhouse kick with a back elbow that the Modern Day Ronin sidesteps and grabs, hoisting the Korean up in a torture rack to excited cheers that drown out Seah’s cries of pain. The good news is that Seah’s suffering in the rack is very brief. The bad news is that the reason for that is that Kanako shrugs her off her shoulders, bringing a knee up to meet the freefalling Invader, making jarring contact with the back of Sin’s skull, rocking her with an inverted GTS!

INVERTED GTS: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA4OcVfMO_4

Seah rebounds off the stiff knee strike, stumbling into the ropes on spaghetti legs, quickly grasping the top strand to keep her upright. Kanako is quick to capitalize heading to the top rope in a single leap. The crowd gasps in apprehension, as going to the top rope is typically a very bad idea in a battle royal. But the Tokyo Tiger is fearless; showing an incredible amount of grace, agility, and balance, Kanako takes two steps along the top rope, then launches herself at Seah, catching her head between her legs and swinging her up and over the top with a spectacular flying headscissors!

youtu.be/64DGBqHfWzE?t=319

The FAWN Faithful collectively hold their breath, as it appears that the fan favorite Akiyama has scored a pyrrhic victory, eliminating the hated Invader at the expense of her own. However, the Bad Luck Dragon hooks her arm over the top rope at the last possible moment, and swings herself back into the ring between the top and middle strands, landing on her feet, and doing a little spin to maintain her balance, to a round of raucous applause for the flashy daredevil maneuver. Down on the floor, Castle has moved over to the enraged Seah, grabbing her around the waist to prevent her from trying to re-enter the ring.

“This isn’t over, bitch!” Seah shouts at Kanako, her right knee propped up on the ring apron and grasping the middle rope with her left as she’s being restrained from going any further. “You better watch your back!”

Kanako snarls down at the Korean lightweight, “Like I told your boss, I’m not hard to find, Sin! Any time you want some, come aaaaaAAAARGH!!” Her retort wound up being cut short by Cossette LeBlanc, taking advantage of Kanako being distracted, grasping her shoulders from behind and jumping backwards to the mat, her knees in the Tokyo Tiger’s back.

BACKSTABBER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOlySXtELWQ

Kanako groans and rolls away to the nearby corner to lick her wounds as Seah is finally escorted away, a smug smirk on her face at being able to hurt her foe, at least by proxy anyway. Cossette likewise, very pleased with herself, smirks at the writhing Japanese fighter before rolling under the bottom rope to re-join Cassava in dealing with the impudent Frightener.

The 2019 edition of Huggable and Crushable (in Onika’s mind only) treat Choldstone like someone who owes them serious cash. Bouncing the normally intimidating figure between them with hard elbow and knee shots, Cassava shoves Eve gut first into the apron getting her nice and breathless for a return trip for a return trip to LeBlanc.

“Coming at ya!” Cassava is on cloud nine right now. She’s totally impressing Cosette, and if she helps the pride of France win Onika will be the center of Hot n Bothered group hug later tonight! Kylie Sanders’ future wife is about shove Choldstone headfirst into a snap DDT when her ankles are snagged yanked out from under her, Onika’s chin hitting floor before she realizes the change in fortune.

“OW! What the fuck!” Onika looks over her shoulder to check if she tripped up on a cable. Unfortunately it was not an errant camera connection but Calliope’s surprisingly well manicured fingers pulling Cassava by the feet. After her fall with Sera from the ring Calliope had disappeared from sight; The prestige of her trick of timely duck under the ring’s apron. Channeling her inner Robert Gray, Calliope has her head and shoulders peeking out of the ring skirt, slowly dragging a fearful Cassava into the darkness.

“Don’t think your dreams don’t come true, because they do. You’d better be careful what you wish for.” The Queen of Outré Space does an eerily accurate Billingsley impression as she pulls at Cassava. The Online Sensation claws at the mats to keep from going undertow. Cosette stands a little shocked at the sight while Eve with giggles hands on knees.

“Thanks Cali. Don’t fill up on nerd now, we got a whole buffet to go through.”

“I won’t!”

Eve stands straight eyeing a fearful Cosette like she was the new pig at the butcher shop. In a gravelly voice imitating Robert Englund (not Jackie Earle Haley) Choldstone beckons “Come here bitch.”

With an ‘eep!’ Cosette scurries away from the supernatural slasher and runs back into the ring for safety with Eve hot on her heels. LeBlanc slides in moments before Eve and uses her slight speed advantage to leap up for an elbow drop but the larger brunette senses it coming and rolls out letting the joint ‘thud’ against the thinly covered plywood. Cosette lets out a cry and hugs her funny bone as she instinctively curls up. Eve starts making some Cru Bourgeois, stomping HARD on every part of the Frenchie’s she could get to. Once she was good and subdued Choldstone pulls her up by the hair sends her off to the ropes. After Cosette is sent packing Eve bounces off the near coils for some momentum in her perfectly executed dropkick that hits the French waif square in the chest and sends her skidding across the canvas.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXDvxuqKGak

Eve lands in a much more controlled fashion on the mat; flat on her back with her legs straight. The Nightmare on Elm Street has so much more pain to dish out to Leblanc but is interrupted by a set of spasms brought on by the sudden impact of Sera’s elbow from the top turnbuckle.

CENTER MASS
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDgIRakU5ww

Quinn had kept out of sight surveying the ongoings of the match looking for an opportunity to present itself. And find it she did. The First Lady of the Marvel universe hauls up Eve by the elbow and bullies her near the coils. Cholstone stomps Quinn’s foot to halt her and slams a palm thrust against the hitwoman’s cheek. Sera turned her head at the last negating some of the damage and returns fire with a high knee to the chin. The women dueled staggering blows and clashing movie genres, each not willing to take a loss on their record; Eve stops a clothesline with a boot to the bicep, doubles Sera over with a kick to the gut, then straightens her with a kick to the forehead and flattens her a pumpkick to face that knocks the dyed redhead on her ass. Choldstone retreats a few steps for a soccer kick to the teeth that’ll put Quinn out or a few months when she’s blindsided by a curvy truck named Kendra LaRue!

The Queen of the Jungle levels Eve with a clothesline from hell that thats gets an “OOOOHHH!” out of the crowd. Kendra bends down when she sees a resurging Sera in her peripheral vision looking to ambush her glorious self with a knee trembler. Kendra straightens at the last moment letting the bent stem whiff past; she lifts an arm under the pit of Quinn’s knee and the small of her back lifting the smaller woman like a thrown duffel bag. Kendra takes two steps and unceremoniously drops Sera Quinn outside the ropes for a long fall onto the padded floor, eliminating her from the match.

Eve angrily pushes off one knee to chest into her gurls into Kendra’s larger pair, “Hey! I had dibs on the Jungle Dweller! Show some professionalism you cottage cheese thighed Volkswagen!”

LaRue snarls and rears a hand back to slap the taste out of this pale bitche’s mouth when Cosette, staying low to the ground and staying out of sight, hooks a side-single leg on Choldstone, lifts her in the air dumps her on the outside! A well placed hand on the apron saves Choldstone from a concussion giving head on apron collision but she can’t stop herself from landing feet first on the concrete.

Eve Choldstone is eliminated.

“Chienne enragé!” LeBlanc curses out a disgruntled Eve who makes her way up the ramp, past an applauding Cassava recently freed from Calliope's clutches. The June Cleaver stand-in having retreated under the ring skirt while Onika had her back to the guardrail, front row fans reaching down giving her pats on the head and shoulders. She chirps happily, “I helped!”

Having dealt with those two, Kendra’s gaze falls upon Cossette next “Hey,” she calls out to the Frenchwoman, “I remember you.” Cossette turns around to face the Siren, letting out a distressed squeak when she realizes who it is. “Yeeeeaaah...you were one of Keisha’s chew toys back in the day, along with that Nebraska hick, right?” LeBlanc looks terrified, as her eyes dart around, searching for an exit. “Let’s recapture some old times, huh?” With a smirk, she lunges at the lightweight, only for Cossette to duck under and around the much bigger LaRue. A growl of frustration from the Jungle Queen leads to another grasp at the smaller girl, and another dodge from the former Huggable, this time giving herself open space to get away from the bully. Unfortunately, her escape is cut off by LaRue catching her by the hair, eliciting a pained yelp from LeBlanc. “Ah ah ah!” Kendra chides as Cossette struggles to free herself to no avail, “You’re not getting away that easy!” With that, she spins Cossette around by the shoulders and levels her with a hellacious lariat that turns her target inside out! Kendra then picks her back up and Irish whips her into the corner, the force of the impact sending her staggering back into a waiting LaRue’s arms, as she hoists her high above her head in an impressive display of power.

“Time to go for a ride, Frenchie!” she purrs as she has LeBlanc up in the gorilla press, “The bad news is that the landing’s gonna be a little rough!”

LaRue walks over to a side of ring holding LeBlanc in the air like she weighed nothing. Ignoring the smaller brunette’s protests of “Non! Non!” and aims to throw her all the way onto the annoucers table. Kendra goes into a quick crouch and- Cassava comes at her from behind and takes her down with a leg sweep!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJqNxowi7KE

Cosette lands unpleasantly but it’s a far better alternative then what was about to happen. She rolls quietly away, letting the more calyphegan fighters settle their differences on their own. Onika pops up and lands a quick elbow drop to Kendra’s breast, she tries to compound with a banzai drop but Kendra rolls at the last millisecond letting those championship worthy glutes echo against the plywood. Stunned by the unexpected hard landing Cassava can’t dodge the boot to the face LaRue gives from a three point stance. Kendra jumps in the air for a seated senton but the Online Sensation sees it coming and dodges, the twin terrors of Mexico almost leaving a pair of craters in the canvas.

The booty battlers kip up at the same time and stare each other down to excited applause. The war between Friends With Benefits and Bootyshock has been a fan favorite, the upcoming BMD title defence between the two has the fantasy bookers going nuts.

“Are you actually so obsessed with that country mouse poseur you’re kowtowing to her number 3 lackey?” Kendra incredulous in her asking.

Cassava bristed at this affront to the Hot n Bothered member’s honour,” You watch your mouth! Miss LeBlanc is a future hall of famer! Show some respect or me and Beckett will teach you some!”

Kendra chuckles, looking like the proverbial cat that swallowed the canary. “What's so damned funny?” Cassava demands.

"You and Beckett? The two of you? Together?" Cassava cocks her head sideways, curious. “That's gonna be tough, considering the beating I just gave your little Stockholm Syndrome."

"Shut the fuck up! You're lying!"

"Am I? I'll bet she's still being worked on in the infirmary right now. That chair to the face was particularly nasty."

Kendra had a lot more to say but had to duck the heel of Onika’s boot that was on a trajectory to loosen The Siren’s teeth with a roundhouse kick. Missing on the first shot Cassava redeems herself with a back elbow to the cheek when Kendra attempts a waistlock, grabbing the back of the Bootyshocker’s head with both hands Cassava drives a shapely hip into LaRue’s gut and hops in the air for facebuster- but Kendra lands a strong fist just above the waistline stunning the Milk Chocolate Mauler. Shoving the wannabe’s head between her legs The Jungle Queen gets a double-underhook, forces Cassava upside down and changes her holds to the back of Onika’s thighs. Kendra spins swiftly in a circle before sitting out and driving the newbie headfirst into the mat.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCTzxLkiL78

Cassava bounces off her dome into a heap and rolls out of the ring to drop bonelessly onto the padded cement, either retaining enough of her senses to avoid elimination or just pure luck.Seconds pass as Onika collects her wits and slowly raises herself to all fours, feet pointed toward the ring. Suddenly Onika’s chin bounces off the floor as a familiar set of hands yank her feet out from under her and start dragging her under the ring skirt.

Calliope’s hands travel from ankles to where to where thigh meets buttock, "C'mere!” she growls with an unseen, toothy grin, I'm not done playing with you yet!"

"GOD DAMMIT, NOT AGAIN!!!"

Cassava claws at the mats but her nails find no purchase as her head is swallowed by the ring and the two disappears from the camera’s and the crowd’s sight. Calliope cinches in her Pennywise Lock perfectly and Onika has to struggle on to tap immediately, her head already light from the piledriver moment’s before...

“This is it?” Kendra taunts the fans, leaning forward against the top rope, “This is the best FAWN has to offer since we’ve been gone?” She then gestures to the wreckage that the Siren left in her wake, adding “I just ran right the hell over ALL of these chumps!”

All but one.

The crowd goes wild as Kanako Akiyama pulls herself up in the corner she had been convalescing in since LeBlanc hit her with that Backstabber. She takes up position across the ring, directly behind the Bootyshock Lieutenant, patiently waiting for her to turn around. Having the self-awareness to realize these idiots couldn’t be cheering for her, it’s not long before Kendra obliges, turning to see what the fuss was about and finding the diminutive Japanese girl staring her down with her trademark intensity, cracking her knuckles and her neck in a manner reminiscent of her cinematic idol, Bruce Lee.

“This is a joke, right?” Kendra asks incredulously, barely able to stifle a derisive laugh. “Wait, you’re the little pipsqueak that had this locker room running scared late last year, right? Sorry, sweetheart, but I ain’t buying what you’re selling.”

“Less talk,” Kanako answers, her voice low and even as she raises her fists in a martial arts stance, “more hitting.”

Kendra shakes her head disbelievably and sighs, “Your funeral, runt.” She then raises her own hands, moving to close the gap between them. She lunges to grab the lightweight, only to be stunned by a straight right to the breadbasket. Eyes wide with shock as the air rushes from her lungs, Kendra quickly finds out why it’s a bad idea to throw down with the Modern Day Ronin unless you’re an elite-level striker, as Kanako begins peppering the Siren’s body and face with stiff rights and lefts. She even lashes out with her legs, kicking her sides, thighs, and even a few errant kicks to Kendra’s prominent posterior, which the producers helpfully replay in slow motion for the viewers at home. A reverse thrust kick to Kendra’s gut doubles the Jungle Queen over, which Kanako follows up by dashing into the ropes. Unfortunately, her plan of attack will forever remain a mystery, as the resilient Bootyshocker surges forward shooting her hands out and finding Kanako’s neck. Having halted the Japanese fighter in her tracks, Kendra then hefts her up into the air, chokelifting her.

CHOKELIFT: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeCDQrJ6GPc

Kanako bicycles her legs and scrabbles at Kendra’s slender hands, trying to free herself from the stranglehold. Kendra simply smirks and releases her, leaving her to freefall onto her back with a loud THUD. As Kanako writhes on the mat, Kendra, still smirking, flicks her thumb at the corner of her mouth, masking her check for blood with arrogance. “You pack a hell of a punch, girl,” the Siren concedes, “I’ll give you that much. But a word of advice: stay in your lane and stick to the lightweights, shrimp. I’m too much woman for you to…”

A buzz rumbles over the crowd that gets Kendra’s attention. “...handle.” she finishes her thought as she looks up to see what all the commotion is about. What she finds is a very agitated Cassandra Beckett, making her way down the entrance ramp with purpose.

CASSANDRA BECKETT:

Fans note that the former Queen Bitch looks much worse for wear as she limps her way down the ramp. Along with said limp, her nose looks slightly misshapen, she’s sporting a beauty of a black eye, and as she’s yelling at the ring, some eagle-eyed fans can see that her upper gums are actually stitched up! Kendra grins at the approaching Beckett, fondly remembering the thrashing she gave her backstage before the start of the show. That grin quickly dissolves when she sees that Cassandra has brought a partner with her in the form of a lead pipe! Clearly looking for payback for the beating she suffered at the Siren’s hands, all three referees are quick to stand at the foot of the entrance ramp, barring her way.

“Anyone that tries to stop me is gonna get a taste of what that skank there has comin’!” the Atomic Redneck yells to the zebras as she sees the human barricade forming. This causes the three refs to look at each other apprehensively. Security was still occupied dealing with Phi Theta Tappa backstage, and it was obvious to anyone observing that Cassandra was angry enough that she didn’t give a damn about any consequences; she was gonna get her pound of flesh, no matter what. With that in mind, Castle, Carpenter, and Long step aside for the enraged Nebraskan like the parting of the Red Sea. Seeing this, Kendra had no intention of sticking around to give the bitch an opportunity for payback. As Beckett ascends the steps to get into the ring, LaRue bails, quickly leaping over the top rope, eliminating herself in the process, and escaping through the crowd. Beckett watches Kendra making her escape from the ring apron, still fuming. She briefly considers following after her, but then she remembers that this is Cassava’s match and, not wanting to interfere with her big moment (more than she already has, anyway), she hops down to the floor with a wince upon impact and, after assuring the referees that she’ll behave, even handing over the pipe to Long, she hangs back, a little ways up the entrance ramp (even slapping hands with a few fans as she goes) to watch the rest of the battle royal unfold.

Kanako is the first to stir, rolling over onto her stomach and pushing up to all fours, giving some lucky fans a decent upskirt shot. Just as she manages to clamber to her feet, she feels a pair of hands pulling her back and down. Apparently, Cossette had recovered just a little bit before Kanako, and was lying in wait to hit the Tokyo Tiger with another Backstabber. Unfortunately for her, that proves to be one attempt too many, as Akiyama is quick to react to LeBlanc’s grip, using the momentum to flip out of harm’s way and land on her feet. LeBlanc looks up at the Japanese girl, realizing just how open she’s left herself, and slowly raises her hands, silently begging off. In response, Kanako shakes her head, takes a half-stutter-step back, then leaps forward, taking Cosette’s head off with a wicked kneeling superkick!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQpB9gOMOGA

Cossette slumps over, seeing stars as the fans come out of their seats. After signalling to the FAWN Faithful for Cosette’s ejection, Kanako hauls the Frenchwoman up on wobbly legs and easily sends her up and over the top, tumbling down to the floor as Carpenter hurries over to check on her and help her up and on her way to the back. Kanako takes a moment and a step back to catch her breath and take stock of her situation when she is blindsided by a returning Calliope, having picked her spot to come out from hiding underneath the ring. She knocks the Modern Day Ronin into the nearby corner with a clothesline to the back of the skull and follows it up with rapid-fire punches and kicks, looking to soften the lightweight up for elimination.

“Nothing personal, Kanako!” Ackley grunts at her as she lays into her target, “I actually think you’re pretty cool. But right now?” She then braces Kanako for an Irish whip, “You’re in my way!” She launches Kanako into the opposite corner with such force that the Tokyo Tiger hits the turnbuckles chest-first at full force, knocking her flat on her back, groaning in agony. Calliope licks her lips, sensing that the match and the prize money is hers for the taking. Not wanting to waste too much time, she quickly gets Akiyama up onto her feet, getting a grip by grasping the back of her blazer, she takes a running start, looking to pick up enough momentum to hurl the smaller girl over the top in one go. However, Kanako cuts the Frightener off with a shot to the gut. A quick jumping knee to the bridge of the nose knocks Candice back into the ropes, and Kanako wastes no time dashing into the ropes. Once again, though, Kanako comes up empty, as Candice nails her with Helter Skelter on the rebound.

HELTER SKELTER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vctwmZGdvvg

Both women lie motionless on the mat for several moments, recovering from the fast-paced exchange.Slowly, both of them rise to burgeoning applause, anticipation building as the two of them faced off. The two of them, nose to nose, appeared to be jawjacking with one another until both nodded, seeming to come to an understanding. A mutual fistbump, followed by the two of them backing up and circling one another conveyed the message better than words could: No quarter given, none asked for, and no hard feelings, no matter the outcome. Kanako makes the first move, lunging at Candice for a lockup. Ackley, on the other hand, has other ideas. Wanting to end things quickly, she ducks under Akiyama’s grapple and grabs the smaller girl around the waist, lifting her up and giving her the bum’s rush into the ropes. Kanako tries her best to sandbag as Calliope tries to heft her the rest of the way over the top. As the two ring warriors struggle to gain an advantage over one another, Kanako, while seeking to distract Calliope with a palm shoving at her face, wraps her legs around her opponent’s waist. The Frightener winces a bit as the Tokyo Tiger closes the vise, bearing down with her strong, toned legs, but doesn’t look to be giving up any ground to the diminutive Japanese girl. That changes when Kanako manages to lace her arms through Ackley’s, locking her hands behind her, driving the Damsel of Disorder’s head down into her abdomen in a painful butterfly lock/bodyscissors combo. As the Frightener grunts in pain, Kanako releases the bodyscissors so that she can return to a standing position. Taking a second to look behind her to make sure her positioning is just right, she then slowly lifts the bigger girl up in a butterfly suplex, looking to send Calliope over the top rope. She finally manages to do so, but as she releases her grip on Calliope, the Queen of Outre Space manages to save herself from falling to the floor, grabbing the top rope just before she lost her balance. As she steadies herself, Kanako takes advantage, dashing into the ropes and delivering a front dropkick that sends her sprawling into the guardrail, making Kanako the only woman standing in the ring.

The crowd explodes in jubilant cheers as the Modern Day Ronin drops to her knees, hiding her face in her hands, overcome as she is with emotion at having just won her first match back from injury! After quickly wiping her eyes, she gets to her feet and ascends the nearest turnbuckle, pumping her fist and celebrating with the fans. In the midst of all the jubilation, nobody, including Kanako, realizes that the bell signalling the end of the battle royal hasn’t actually sounded yet.

They’ve all forgotten about someone.

Too quick for the audience to sound a warning a newly conscious and desperate Cassava slides under the ropes near Kanako’s corner, and puts her hand under the Tokyo Tiger’s firm ass. Onika pushes up as she climbs the ropes herself launching a startled Kanako off the post into an awkward, if safe landing on her feet.

DING! DING!

“YOUR WINNER! CASSAVA ONIKAAA!!!”

Put to sleep briefly by Calliope's sleeper hold the BMD champ was roused by the din of the crowd and the above vibrations of the ring, coming into consciousness just as the school girl gangster and the old school housewife started their final battle. The Online Sensation celebrates her win to an appreciative audience before noticing an applauding Cassandra making her way into the ring to join her.

A battered but jubilant Beckett greets her tag partner, "Congrats, babe! I knew you could do it! Never doubted it for a second!"

"Thanks I-omigawd, you're so hurt!" Cassava’s post-win euphoria is tampered down by the sight of her kinda-sorta girlfriend’s beaten face. She steps in close, lightly touching her cheeks for a closer look.

Beckett nods, "Yeah...Whatever that cunt told you..it's probably true. She tagged me pretty good, can’t deny that. But nothing was gonna keep me from seeing your moment of victory. Well...that and getting that bitch back..." she shrugs, knowing that sooner or later, she’ll get even with the Siren, on way or another. "Well, batting .500 there, anyway."

"I'll take that bitch down hard in our BMD match and I'll leave just enough for you to mop the ring with when I’m down"

Beckett smiles, “I love it when you talk tough babe, I’d kiss you but I’m afraid I’d pop a stitch.”

It’s at this point that the two of them realize that they’re not alone. Cassava and Cassandra turn around to find Kanako standing a couple of feet away, hands on her hips, her expression stern. Almost instinctively, Cassandra moves to put herself between Cassava and Kanako to protect her love, but Onika is quick to put a hand on her shoulder, shaking her head, nonverbally telling her not to. Partly, because she trusted Kanako, but also because she was worried that, in her current state, Beckett might not survive if she started a fight with Akiyama, quite possibly literally.

“Sorry, Kankan!” Cassava says sheepishly, knowing that her path to victory wasn’t the most honorable one, “But the whole Costume Battle Royal was my idea that I pitched to the front office; I just couldn’t let my chance to win slip away.”

Kanako cracked her neck as tense moments passed. Finally, a grin cracked across the Japanese beauty’s lips. “You just had to wait until I thought I’d won before you woke up…” she sticks out her hand. Cassava realizes that this is her way of saying that all is forgiven and accepts her friend’s hand and the crowd politely applauds the show of sportsmanship between the two popular grapplers. “I won’t distract from your moment, Cassava,” Kanako says as they both release the handshake, “but don’t think for a second that you and I are done. You know...it’s nice having a friendly rival, for once. Enjoy the spotlight, you two. You deserve it.” She then offers both Onika and Beckett a congratulatory peck on the cheek before exiting the ring to allow Cassava her victory lap.

Cassava helps Beckett out of the ring and together, the two of them go around the ring, high-fiving as many fans as they could. Once they make the full circuit, and begin heading up the entrance ramp, a thought occurs to the Online Sensation.

“Omigawd!” she yelps, stopping in her tracks, a look of horror on her face.

“What?” Beckett looks at her, worried, “What’s wrong?”

“I think this is the first match I’ve had where I haven’t sat on someone’s face!”