Post by hawkeye on Dec 7, 2017 0:41:34 GMT
When All Hallows Evil returned from an excellent hype video for tonight’s World Title Ladder Match, the ring had been ensconced in a sinister prison of evilly glinting steel. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following Steel Cage Match scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. There are no count outs, no disqualifications and absolutely no escaping the cage because…” the Announcer raised his mic overhead so the capacity crowd could finish for him. ‘ESCAPING THE CAGE IS FOR PUSSIES!’ He nodded approval, then resumed his duties.
“Introducing first, hailing from Antonio Bay, California, she stands at five feet four inches tall and weighs in at one hundred twenty seven pounds. She is the Innovator of Offense, the NorCal Sensation, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds… JENNY JACOBS!"
Already on their feet to get a better view of the cage, the trick ‘r treaters that made up All Hallows Evil turned to the stage as one and let loose with all the disdain they could muster. Their enmity did nothing to stop Invincible from storming the speakers, indeed the former champ’s anthem seemed to swell alongside the jeers until the Insidious Innovator swatted the curtain aside and stepped into view. Sparing the cage and fans only the briefest of glances, Jenny Jacobs turned to the nearest camera and said, “You’re going to bleed buckets tonight, Maddy. You’re going to spend another week in the hospital on FAWN’s dime and before they medicate your sorry ass into dreamland I want you to remember that YOU ASKED FOR THIS.” She finished the warning with a middle-finger ‘J’, then set her sites on the ramp and what waited at the base thereof.
JENNY JACOBS
For this year’s trip into the devil’s den that was the Madhouse, Jenny wore the dead black version of her ‘starstruck’ briefs as well as a matching halter-style top with the cups held together by a small metal buckle in the shape of a star. Her boots and pads were an electric blue while her hair was pulled back in a short, severe ponytail. Happy to run her mouth at every troll, slug and humanoid on the aisle, Jacobs abruptly broke into a flat sprint that brought her to the steps leading up to the apron and the cage beyond. Grabbing hold of the mesh with both hands, she gave it a shake and listened to the clatter. “Not a lot of give tonight.” she murmured. “This’ll be fun.”
While Jacobs entered the cage and offered up wrists and ankles to Nick Castle, the Announcer went on. "And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Glad Bomber, please welcome back MADDY CRANE!”
MADDY CRANE
The inmates did so at the top of their lungs, everyone who was able leaping to their feet with a roar as Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’ rang out in the dark. Maddy appeared with her music and raised a fist for her fans but that was it from the usually talkative star as she made her way to
ringside. For her first match in a FAWN ring in more than six months, Crane wore a seasonal orange sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin black belts worn bandolier style while her boots and pads were done in a matching matte black. And as per tradition, the seat of her trunks featured an appropriate message:
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Beeyotch.
Storming down the ramp without taking her eyes off Jacobs, Maddy circled the cage once, then stomped up the steps and dipped through the ropes. She went for Jacobs at once, would’ve got her too, if Castle hadn’t interjected at mid-ring. “Back to your corner, Mads.” he said. “You’ve waited this long, you can wait a little more.” “What’s the matter, her last meal threatening a rerun? Hope you’ve got a mop and bucket ringside, Nick. This one’s going to get messy.” The ref made no answer, just shooed his charge back to the opposite corner, where he inspected her pads and boots and patiently reminded her that homicide was still homicide, even inside a steel cage.
CLANG!
Imposing though it was, their battleground made no impression on Jacobs or Crane when the bell sounded, each was far too busy searching the other’s eyes for any sign of hesitation. Neither found that for which they searched, though it didn’t seem to hamper their confidence in the slightest. Indeed, Jacobs sounded remarkably nonplussed when she said, “First match back in almost six months and you want it in a steel cage? What the hell were you thinking, Crane?”
Maddy shrugged, the ghost of a smile lurking at the corner of her mouth. “I was thinking you missed a year on the shelf, then came back to face Sydney at ‘Mania. You know how it goes, anything you can do--”
“No, you can’t.” the Innovator said bluntly. “I steal shows. I carry companies. I win titles. I beat the best. You can’t do that, Maddy. Not here, anyway. Any other locker room on the planet, yeah, you could be the face on the marquee. But NOT here. Because I’M here. FAWN is MY home. And as long as we share a locker room you’ll never be anything but--”
Crane’s right hand moved with viper-quickness, the redhead CRA-CRAAACKING Jacobs across the mouth with a pair of open handed slaps. “You don’t get to talk to me like that anymore.” she replied, her words almost lost in the thunderous reaction of the crowd. “Not after you threw a tantrum and tried to cripple me just because I turned out to be a tougher fight than you ever--”
Jenny’s rebuttal involved a Bytch Slap of her own as well as a short, furious Forearm Smash across the redhead’s tits. “You’re not tough, Crane. You’re stupid. A little more pressure and I could’ve ENDED your career. Keep that in mind before you tell me how you’re ready to go at my levNN NNNNGGHHH!”
The Happy Anarchist matched Jenny’s Forearm Smash, then raised her with a European Uppercut straight from the Olivia Dare playbook. Flashing a real smile when she saw the blonde
check her lower lip for blood, Maddy snapped, “What, did you think I just FORGOT spending three months rehabbing my back and another three scraping off all the ring rust? I didn’t forget, Jenny. I was there for every second of your title run and I almost put my boot through the TV when Eliza won at Mania because that was MY moment. If anyone was gonna put you down on the biggest stage of the year, it should’ve been--”
Jenny stepped up for a second Forearm Smash but when Mads went to brace for it the blonde palmed her head in both hands and THWONKED a Headbutt between her eyes! Maddy stumbled, went to clinch and Jacobs let her, if only to grab her foe by the scruff of the neck. Twisting away from the stunned redhead, the NorCal Sensation charged the ropes with Crane in tow and bounced her foe’s noggin off the unforgiving links! The first loud BWAAANG was followed by two more, as Jenny let her rival bounce back just enough to power the second and third trips to the cage. Crane grabbed the top rope after the last collision, so Jacobs snuggled in behind her, grabbed a handful of hair and forced Maddy’s face against the steel.
“You should be on your knees THANKING ME!” Jacobs hissed in her ear. “Because every ‘moment’ you manage from tonight forward is only because I didn’t want to get blacklisted for ending the career of a lifelong footnote like UUUUUUUNNNNNGGGHHH!”
The NorCal Sensation’s tirade came to an abrupt, painful end when Maddy swung a vindictive heel up and back between her thighs! Shrugging loose from Jenny’s clutches as the blonde stumbled away with her knees practically locked together, Maddy flipped hair off her face and went for the retreating blonde. Jacobs made it all of three steps when Maddy grabbed her by the neck, whipped her around and BWAAAANGED her off the links! Jenny bounced, fired off a Back Elbow that hit just hard enough to make Crane answer with a Double Axehandle between the shoulders.
Knocked to all fours by the undefended strike, Jacobs only started to struggle when Maddy forced her upper body between the top and middle ropes. Alas by then it was far too late and the redhead wasted no time in hooking her arms over the second strand. She’d just started to struggle with this new arrangement when the Red Hook Joker planted a foot on either side of her hips and sat down on the small of her back. “I’ve shared this ring with a lot of women I can’t stand.” Maddy admitted as she filled her hands with the Californian’s hair. “Lizzie Cromwell, Miranda Wainright, Lisa of course. Hell, me and Wendy still don’t get along that well. But through all those matches I never thought I’d meet someone I’d be ok torturing. Can you imagine how shocked I was to realize that I had met that chick, and that she was you?”
Bad position or not, it didn’t stop Jacobs from digging her nails into the crease of Maddy’s knees, the stunned blonde in search of soft flesh to claw. “You don’t have it in you, Mads.” she grunted. “The worst punishment you can imagine involves punch lines and that’s not gonna get it done inside this caGGGEEEEERRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!”
The Happy Anarchist pressed Jacobs’s face into the links and proceeded to draaaaaaaaaaaaaag it back and forth for ten agonizing seconds! Adopting a more traditional Camel Clutch grip once she’d proved her point, Crane leaned in close and murmured, “You’re going to learn to respect me, JJ. Even if I have to beat it into you. Even if I leave on a stretcher.
Even if I never wrestle another match after tonight, I SWEAR TO GOD that I will have your respect before you get to leave this ring.”
Jenny’s answer was immediate. “Kiss my ass, you chuckling little UNGH!”
Crane bounced her again and might’ve piled on even more if she wasn’t worried about Castle calling things on account of early blood loss. Raising her hands to make sure the ref knew she was backing off, Mads cleared her throat when Nick moved in to check on the blonde. “Too soon, Castle. Far as I’m concerned, you don’t get to ask her anything until she’s screaming at the top of her lungs. Or left a few pints on the canvas.”
The senior official didn’t like the sound of that one bit, but the rules of the Cage didn’t allow him much say in the matter, so he held his tongue as Crane whipped around on one heel and ran the ropes on the far side of the ring. Racing back like she hadn’t missed six minutes, let alone six months, the Sultana of Snark took to the skies, cocked her right fist up behind her ear and then pistoned it forward to PWAAAAK Jenny square in the backside! Roaring in anger as the low flying Snark Attack got a loud cheer from the crowd, the Innovator redoubled her escape efforts.
She would’ve found a way out, given enough time, but Mads was in no mood for such generosity and she reminded Jacobs of this fact by planting a shin across the back of the prone lovely’s neck. Grabbing the top rope in both hands, Crane pushed up and leaaaaaaaaaaaaned back, using every bit of her weight to pinch her opponent’s throat against the rubber-coated steel. Blatant chokes still earned a warning in even the most relaxed stipulations and Castle wasted no time putting his count to good use. Maddy worked it ‘til ‘FOUR!, then hopped up and CLAPPED Jenny’s rump with a single hard swat.
“Leave her there for just a little while longer, Nick.” the redhead warned when the ref moved to free Jenny from the trap. “I’ll get her out. Right after I do this.”
She took off across the ring again, but Crane’s return trip led with her feet rather than her fist, the Original Pranksta showing almost Daly-ian levels of precision and velocity with the Dropkick she THWHAPPED against Jenny’s butt. Of course the Dropkick was only the set-up, the punch-line was the BWAAAAANG of Jacobs’s head hitting the links at top speed. The former champion sagged like a puppet with cut strings, Jenny showing no signs of resistance when Crane dragged her out of the strands and flopped across her chest for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Mads hadn’t hooked a leg, so Jacobs bridged hard and shoved her away with a full second to spare. “F*cking amateur.” the Innovator grumbled once she’d worked her way to a seat. “Think you’re gonna beat me with such a lazy-ass covNNNNGGGGGHH!”
The Queen of the Facebusters Tribe cut her off with a short, vicious Headbutt that connected just above Jenny’s left eye. Castle would’ve bet the night’s pay that the blow would
bust Jenny wide open, yet there was no blood to be seen when Jacobs collapsed to the canvas in a surprised starfish. “Easy on the head shots, ok Maddy?” the ref suggested. “I don’t need either of you missing more time to injury.”
Crane didn’t acknowledge right away, as she was in the midst of rolling the blonde onto her belly. Then she grabbed Jenny’ s left wrist, folded it up between her shoulders and yanked until Jacobs smacked her free fist against the mat. Only then did Maddy look to the ref. “I couldn’t leave the ring under my own power because of this bytch, Nick. Her safety is very low on my list of priorities.”
Fighting to get back to all fours even with one arm out of commission and the redhead’s knee wedged against the small of her back, JJ huffed, “Hope you liked the view from the stretcher last time, honey. Because you’re getting an encore tonEEEGGHH! AAARRRH! F*CK DAMMIT!”
Crane stretched out like she was gonna start some push-ups and did exactly one before the drilled the point of her left knee into the ball of Jenny’s right shoulder! Simple, but no doubt effective, as evidenced by Jacobs’s pained shrieks as Mads unleashed half a dozen more Knee Drops in about that many seconds. Transitioning to a basic Wristlock once she figured she’d knocked some of the sass out of Jenny’s tone, Crane got to her feet and used her grip to make Jacobs do the same. The Innovator did as the joint-lock bade, not that it stopped her from putting a thumb in Maddy’s eye, or at least trying to. She’d only started to lunge when the redhead hopped and flicked her wrist up n’ down like her whole arm was nothing more than a wet towel.
Jenny cursed, reached for her aching shoulder and stifled a cry when Maddy stepped back and spun the wincing blonde halfway through an Arm Wringer. The midpoint’s where it became a full-on Armbreaker, Maddy rising onto tiptoe, then dropping to a seat to bring Jenny’s exposed bicep THUMPING down on her own shoulder! Jacobs jolted violently but didn’t lose her footing, rather she turned around and staggered away, the veteran instinctively fighting to protect her left arm from more punish--”UNGH!”
The Sultana of Slapstick grabbed Jenny’s waistband, reeled her in with a single rude yank and THWHAPPED the broadside of her left thigh across her prey’s lower back. “Bytch.” Jenny huffed as she stumbled away from the heavy shot. “I’ll make you wish you’d never AAAHHHHHHH FAAAAAAAHHHK!”
“Wish I’d never wasted time giving you respect?” Maddy snapped amidst reapplying that damned Hammerlock. “What’s done is done, JJ. All I can do now is make you sorry for the hell you put me through.”
Jenny didn’t get to answer because Crane snagged a handful of her trunks and took off running, Mads using both her grips to keep the NorCal Sensation bent almost double right up until the moment she slammed the brakes and hurled through the space between top and middle turnbuckles. The rattling BWANG of head on cage was bad, the low THWHUMP of shoulder on steel post (and the sob that followed) was infinitely worse. Not that Jenny had any real time to compare the dual impacts mind you, the links were still thrumming quite nastily when Maddy
pulled the blonde out, spun her around and muscled her up into a gut-first perch across her right shoulder.
Up on her toes the instant she locked her hands, Crane dropped to one knee and DRILLED Jenny’s aching shoulder into the meat of her right knee. Jacobs wailed in pain, wrapped her arms around the redhead’s waist and squeezed tight, hoping her counter-hug would at least throw off the skank’s balance long enough to-- Maddy clambered to full verticality, paused to set her feet, went down for a second Shoulderbreaker. Grip loosened after the latest jolt to her shoulder, Jenny shifted over to short, stabbing punches to the ribs after Crane stood up and unleashed a third Shoulderbreaker!
“Injuring her won’t balance the scale, Mads.” Nick warned his charge after Maddy straightened up without letting her blonde fall to the mat. “If anything it’ll only prove you’re as misguided as she--” the senior official cringed when Crane completed her quartet of Shoulderbreakers, the last and stiffest drawing a sharp scream of agony from the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds.
SHOULDERBREAKER RAMPAGE! www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49MXDK_C7M
Maddy let loose when the set was over and even more surprising, Jenny actually slid down her tormentor’s shoulder and landed on her feet. This arrangement proved fleeting, as Crane promptly grabbed her blonde by the shoulders, hopped up and locked her stems around Jenny’s head like she was going for a Hurricanrana. Jenny must’ve thought the same because she put her hands to the redhead’s glutes and pushed as hard as she could in an effort to create some distance. In the end Jacobs got what she wanted, as Mads did indeed float off the Innovator’s shoulders. Unfortunately she’d also helped herself to a double handful of hair and that’s what brought Jenny THWHONKING to the deck flat on her face while Crane landed on her tush in relative comfort.
RANA FEINT FACEBUSTER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgFj-d19x1I
Jenny bounced, started to roll onto her back, then forced herself to slop back the way she came so Maddy couldn’t go for an easy pin. Turned out to be a moot point as rather than go for the win Crane inflicted more hurt, this time in the form of a single wicked stomp to her nemesis’s wounded shoulder. Finally turning her attention to Castle after Jenny curled into a ball at her feet, the Glad Bomber said, “I’m not going to injure her, Nick. But she’s going to feel every bit of the hurt, worry and uncertainty I went through the morning after the I Quit match when my back was so stiff for a minute I thought I was paralyzed.” She paused, swallowed a lump in her throat. “That was the scariest moment of my life, Nick. Jenny did that to me, it’s only fair that she experiences the same.”
Castle couldn’t think of anything to say, so he remained silent as Maddy stomped around to the blonde’s north end and buried a hand in her hair. A single tug only brought the former World Champ to her knees, so Crane added a second and that got Jacobs back to boot
leath--“UUUNNNNNGGGHHH!”
Jenny drove a knee between Maddy’s thighs, then laced both hands around the back of her head and wedged her own head beneath opposing chin. Just like that she dropped to her knees and sent Crane reeling with a quick Jawbreaker. The Innovator hadn’t actually expected to drop Mads with such a basic maneuver, yet the mere fact of Crane’s continued verticality proved intolerable for the enraged blonde and so she brought it to a savage end courtesy of a full fledged punt between Maddy’s thighs!
Face alight in a savage grin even as Crane collapsed to her hands and knees, Jacobs took several deep breaths before she said, “You think you can scare me, you little shyt? I once got carried out of this building on a stretcher after Dream tried to put my head through a f*cking cinder block. THAT’S scary. You? You’re nothing more than a persistent pain in the ass.”
Maddy didn’t answer with words, instead she forced herself to her knees and grabbed hold of the blonde’s waistband, presumably in an effort to help her stand. Alas, Jenny didn’t let it get that far. Circling an arm around the back of Maddy’s head, Jacobs cupped the penitent battler’s chin and pulled her head back at an unpleasant angle. “Did you think the I Quit match was the worst I could put you through, Mads?” the blonde asked without a trace of her usual snark or condescension. “It’s not. Not by a long shot. What I do to you tonight, though. You’ll never forget what I do to you UNGH!”
Crane’s leverage was shyt in her current position, but that didn’t stop her from hammering a bunch of mean little punches into the Innovator’s haughty backside! Temper flaring in the face of this defiance, Jenny squeezed Maddy’s chin like she meant to tear it off, then curled her other hand into a fist and unloaded half a dozen quick, stabbing punches into the other woman’s hairline. The Sultana snarled with each shot, made Jenny pay dearly for them with a two-handed wedgie that bared a good three quarters of the blonde’s glutes in a single yank.
“Goddamned pussy.” the Innovator hissed. “That how you want to fight?” She curled her punchin’ hand into a talon and draaaaaaaagged it across Crane’s face, paying special attention to her eyes and nose. Maddy wailed, pressed her stinging mug against Jenny’s encroaching tummy and transitioned from the wedgie to a simple S-grip just below the curve of opposing glutes. Squeezing Jacobs as tight as she could, Maddy surged back to verticality and hoisted her blonde off the canvas by a good eighteen inches! Jenny didn’t like this new arrangement in the slightest and she expressed her displeasure by driving the point of one elbow into the crown of Crane’s skull.
The Bionic Elbow got her back to terra firma quickly enough, only problem was Mads had the wherewithal to go down on one knee, which turned the whole works into an awkward Inverted Atomic Drop! Straightening up as soon as Jenny’s hand fell away from her chin, the Happy Anarchist laid claim to Jacobs’s wrist, stepped back and slung her toward the far corner with an Irish Wh-- Jenny dug her heels in and reversed the Whip, sending Maddy thundering into the buckles in her stead. The NorCal Sensation raised the J’s, turned them into middle fingers aimed at the redhead and raced for the buckles at top speed. She was heartbeats away from a
crushing collision when Maddy leaned back as best she could and whipped a high kick at the oncoming grappler’s chin.
Most often lauded for her offense (they’d made it a nickname, after all) Jenny proved equally adept at defense as she slammed on the brakes and caught hold of Maddy’s ankle before it could splatter her chin. Maddy started to say something but it came out a startled yelp as the blonde stepped back and yanked the captured leg hard enough to send her prey flying away from the corner. Spinning to one side as Crane flew by, JJ hooked her left arm under Maddy’s left knee and looped her right arm around the back of her rival’s head. Hands locked to make an awkward Cradle, Jenny exploded up onto tiptoe, muscled Crane to chest level, then went down on one knee to THWHUMP the redhead’s vertabrae with a beautiful Cradle Backbreaker.
CRADLED BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg6WRSkR9Ok
Maddy bounced loose and landed on her knees, the penitent lovely frozen in anguish following the savage counter. She was still struggling through the worst of the hurt when Jenny stalked over and hooked two fingers into her nostrils. “Stand up, bytch. We’re just getting started.” Crane wanted no part of such a demand, but there wasn’t much she could do with the Californian literally leading her by the nose. Switching over to a Wristlock once Mads was vertical, Jenny stepped off and slung her burden at the ropes with an Irish Whip. No reversals or other shenanigans this time around, the Princess of the Punchline merely hit the strands and returned, little more than a mobile tackling dummy for the Innovator, who stepped in and angled her right arm across Maddy’s chest. The FAWNatics cringed in anticipation of the Jenny-Cide and understandably so, as the set-up was identical. (Un)fortunately for Maddy, the former champ had said things were just getting started so rather than grant the Smiling Knight the mercy of her finisher, she snatched a handful of waistband, muscled Crane high into the air and brought her down spine-first across the point of one bent knee. Jenny might’ve promised her prey a long night of suffering, yet that apparently didn’t save Maddy from covers, as Jacobs hooked the far leg and folded her in half for a quick…
SNAP URANAGE BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=do_ox1MukFo
ONE…
TWO…
Mads kicked out with a full second to spare, though the yelp she voiced upon doing so suggested future escapes might not be so emphatic. Set on her knees beside the wincing redhead, Jenny took a deep breath, tucked her hair behind her ears, then casually reached out and planted a claw between her rival’s thighs! “How’s that feel, punk?” Jacobs growled as she jostled her hand up & down. “Does it feel like you can hang with me?”
Too hurt to answer, Crane endured a good five seconds more of the tawdry punishment before she wrenched free of Jenny’s grip and flopped onto her belly. “Dirty bytch.” she sobbed through clenched teeth. “I’ll make you regret thaaaarrrhhhhh NO! NOOOOO
AAAARRRRRRRHHHH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHK!”
Drifting between tawdry and technical with an ease that was practically unfair, the NorCal Sensation spun around on one knee, grabbed Crane by the ankles and got to her feet. With Maddy’s stems firmly in her possession, Jacobs began step backward, which peeled her opponent’s legs a little farther off the mat and put more and more pressure on her back. It wasn’t a traditional Boston Crab by any means, as Jenny hadn’t stepped over her victim’s body or even dropped to one knee, yet that didn’t seem to weaken the hold at all, as Maddy shook her head ‘no’ and wailed with every blonde step. Only setting her feet when she had Crane’s body south of her chest scraped off the deck, Jenny looked to Nick and said, “Ask her. Ask the little punk ass.”
STANDING BOSTON CRAB: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_vWFGYo2hE
Hands braced against the canvas, Mads tried to push away and suffered another jolt through the spine for her troubles. “Why don’t you ask me yourself, skank?” she grunted when she’d fought off the very worst of the hurt.
There was no way Jenny didn’t hear the redhead’s question, Nick Castle was almost ten feet removed from the action and he heard it clear as day. Yet rather than respond to Crane, the Innovator looked to the referee with an insincerely puzzled look on her face. “Did you hear something, Nick? I was thinking about worthy opponents and I could’ve swore I heard some cockroach mouthing off.”
Nick shook his head, unwilling to play a part in Jenny’s mean game. Instead he walked over to his warring charges and dropped to one knee beside Crane. “How you doin’, Mads? Need me to call for the bell?”
Shaking her head in any direction was out of the question given the unpleasant angle, so the Queen of the Facebusters waggled a finger and grunted, “Bytch has never been able to make me quit. Why would I start noOOOOWWWWWEERRRRRRHHHH!”
Jenny stepped back a little farther and to make matters worse, she moved her right foot from the mat to the side of Maddy’s face! Working her ankle like she was butting a cigarette (or crushing a bug) Jacobs let Crane suffer for another ten seconds or so before she taunted, “You already lost six months, asshole. You really ready to lose a whole HEY! DAMMIT!”
Forced to admit there was only one way out of this predicament that didn’t involve her tapping the mat, Maddy reached up, grabbed hold of Jacobs’s ankle and tugged it off the back of her noggin! It didn’t even sort of break the hold, however the shift in footing eased the pressure just enough for Crane to twist off her chest and onto her back! Practically sighing with relief, the Sultana of Slapstick raised her hands and flipped Jenny a pair of birds, then crossed her thumbs and turned both hands down to show an ’M’! “You can’t break me, JJ.” Maddy huffed to the fuming blonde. “You can hurt me, you can knock me out, you can put me on all the stretchers you want, but you’re never going to break NNNNNGGGHH!”
‘Never’ was a word Jenny Jacobs didn’t hold much stock in so she demonstrated her lack of belief by stretching the redhead’s legs wide and THUMPING a knee against her crotch! Hands wedged between her thighs, Maddy was powerless to prevent the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds from rolling her backward onto all fours in a sort of crippled somersault. Regarding the vulnerable redhead with the oddest mixture of disgust and resignation, Jenny grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her rival into a Standing Headscissors. “You want me to talk to you, Crane? To treat you like an equal?” JJ muttered after wrapping her arms around the other woman’s waist. “Then stop sniveling and listen. The more you run your f*cking mouth, the worse I’m going to hurt you.” She halved the Waistlock and slapped Maddy’s ass. “Understand?”
Silence for a long time, Jenny thought her message might’ve actually penetrated that thick skull. Then Maddy huffed, “Do your worst you second-rate Deschain wannabe.”
Jacobs flinched as if she’d been slapped and even Nick grimaced, the ref knowing damned well that any chance of mercy vanished with that vicious verbal takedown. Mean-spirited as it was, it didn’t help Crane out of the Headscissors, in fact her position grew all the more dangerous when Jenny dipped her knees and spun the woozy warrior up onto her shoulders. Now the NorCal Sensation had an entire ring at her disposal, not to mention the ropes and the turnbuckles, but Maddy’s savage assessment meant the cage was her only viable option. And so she charged, the infuriated Californian building up an impressive head of steam in the few seconds before she BWAAAAANGED Crane’s back into the shining steel.
CAGE BOMB???
The rattle and shiver of the links wasn’t enough to cover Maddy’s shriek, nor did it mask the fact that Jacobs still held her prey in the Powerbomb stall. Tromping away from the ropes like a woman on a mission, Jenny swung toward the nearest corner and set off for it at a near run. There was a low THWHUMP, followed by a much louder groan of sympathetic anguish from the Basement Dwellers as Jacobs hurled Maddy into the turnbuckles spine-first!
BUCKLE BOMB:
The Buckle Bomb should’ve put Crane on her knees, if not flat on her face, yet somehow the Happy Anarchist kept both feet under her and infinitely more important, she CRAAACKED a hard Bytch Slap across Jenny’s surprised face! “C’MON!” she roared to the wide-eyed Innovator. “IS THAT ALL YOU’VE F*CKING GONNNNGGHHH!”
Jacobs recovered her composure and planted a Toe Kick in the redhead’s gut, doubling her over. Another Standing Headscissors followed, as did a quick flip onto Jenny’s shoulders. But when it came time for the descent Jenny only went down on one knee, meaning the small of Maddy’s devastated back THWHUNKED down atop the point of that hatefully posted joint. Maddy flopped onto her belly then twisted onto her belly then twisted
anvas was electrified. Nick went to check on her but Jacobs beat him to it, the vengeful blonde dropping to her knees beside the ravaged redhead. Planting one hand on Maddy’s cheek and the other on her gulping tummy, Jenny pushed down hard, forcing Crane’s face toward the hard camera while a reluctant Castle counted…
POWERBOMB BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLJtX8tBRNg
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The Glad Bomber twisted onto her side, saving the match with less than a whisper to spare. Infuriated but somehow not surprised, Jenny plunged a hand into Crane’s sweat-soaked hair and hauled her to a seat. “This is your fault, Maddy.” she said it softly, almost a whisper. “You could’ve had a long, respectable career. But now… now that’s all over.”
No response from Crane, which was exactly how the blonde wanted it. On her feet shortly thereafter, Jacobs took her time in forcing Maddy to all fours… her knees… and finally back to some semblance of verticality. A single hard slap raised nothing more than a groan from the Sultana of Slapstick, so Jacobs lowered a shoulder, jabbed it into the redhead’s belly and hoisted her up like she was a bag of laundry. The FAWNatics let their former heroine have it with both barrels as she set out on a sauntering stroll around the perimeter, seemingly no one in the Madhouse pleased with Jacobs’s cruelty and her increasing dominance over the once game Crane. Pausing at one corner after two full circuits of the ring, the NorCal Sensation honed in on the opposite turnbuckle and charged it at a dead run. Everyone pleaded with Mads to find a way out, even Castle offered her a silent prayer, but it all turned out for naught as Jenny leaned forward and BWUUUUNGED her rival’s devastated spinal column against the buckles.
Maddy shrieked to wake the dead even as she slumped forward to wrap her arms around Jenny’s shoulders in a woozy clench. Jacobs didn’t fight it, she simply got low, wrapped her arms around Crane’s midsection and muscled her into a woozy seat on the top buckle. Another hard, dismissive slap kept Maddy docile as JJ climbed onto the bottom rope and slowly but surely forced the other woman to stand. From there it was only the matter of a few steps for Jenny to join her prey in the high rent district, the former World Champion lacing her right arm across Maddy’s chest in a way that promised Jenny-cide in a matter of moments. Clutching her redhead in a death grip, Jacobs put her lips to Crane’s ear and cooed, “Even though your career ends tonight, please know that your best moments will live on… as part of my highlight reNNNNNNGGGGHHHH!”
Maddy’s right hand, which had been hanging limp between Jenny’s shoulders, suddenly grabbed hold of her tormentor’s hair and BWONKED her forehead into the steel post that made up the corner of the cage. Jacobs’s knees shivered and her hold on Mads loosened, but didn’t give way, so the Princess of the Punchline not once, not twice, not even thrice, but a full half dozen times! In fact she didn’t stop until she felt blood pattering on her shoulder and even then she only wriggled out of the arm-clutch to force Jenny down into a Front Facelock.
Barely aware of the cacophony welling up around her, Maddy slung Jenny’s near arm over across her shoulders and grabbed a handful of waistband. Hooks set tight and deep, the redhead sucked in a ragged breath and huffed, “Welcome to my highlight reel, bytch.” Then she muscled Jacobs all the way to two o’clock and stepped out into the void, Crane kicking her legs up to hip level so she landed hard on her butt while Jenny THAWHAMMED down flat on her face as the victim of a huge Sit-Out Gourdbuster.
Those assembled roared for Mads to go for a cover, but the Smiling Knight hadn’t released the Facelock yet and so she kicked her legs back and barrel rolled onto her belly which made it that much easier to scramble to her feet. Tugging on opposing togs hard enough to raise a half wedgie, Maddy muscled Jenny back to two o’clock, only this time she spun around in a tight corkscrew and laid out on her tummy to best PLANT the NorCal Sensation flat on her face and chest! With Jenny splattered across the deck after Insult 2 Injury, Crane dragged the blonde onto her back, hooked both legs behind the knee and folded her in half in the hopes of earning a career-defining…
INSULT 2 INJURY @ 00:00 www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrtetUUuBWo
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Whether it was Maddy’s exhaustion, Jenny’s determination or some combination of the two, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds shoved Crane away with less than half a second to spare. Mads set back on her haunches and showed three fingers to Nick just in case she’d heard wrong. She hadn’t, the official confirmed it with two of his own, so the Happy Anarchist plopped to her butt, drew up her right knee and slowly pulled the pad down over her boot. Beside her, Jenny dabbed at the wound on her forehead until Maddy buried both hands in her hair and peeled her off the canvas. A Kneelift to the navel doubled Jacobs over and that double handful of hair made sure she stayed that way even after Crane began THWHONKING her bared knee into the blonde’s forehead over and over and over again.
Still quite woozy after the back to back Facebusters, Jenny’s head cleared when the first knee struck her dome, unfortunately the hits kept coming and Crane’s measured pace combined with her growing disorientation and the blood dripping into one eye meant she could do little more than deliver weak slaps to the redhead’s ribs. Maddy didn’t seem to notice, she only kept working that cut until Jenny went to one knee, her arms instinctively looping around her foe’s hips to maintain at least a semblance of control over her position. Above her, Crane segued from her Neck Clasp to a Front Facelock, then crooked her right arm into a tire iron and THWHAPPED it across Jacobs’s shoulders half a dozen times in perhaps as many seconds.
The grip around her waist loosened even more and Mads had no trouble breaking it apart and slipping her right arm under Jenny’s left bicep for a Single Underhook. That and the Facelock proved more than enough to drag Jacobs to boot leather, it was also sufficient to hoist
Jenny several inches into the air. Aware of the redhead’s penchant for Facebusters even in her decimated state, Jenny brought her legs up and braced her shins against Crane’s hips in a sort of loose Cradle. If this bothered Maddy she didn’t show it, in fact the Red Hook Joker looked wearily satisfied when she abruptly popped her hips and swung Jacobs out full length, then snapped back and SPIKED her on the crown of her skull with a brutal DDT!
EXCEDRIN HEADACHE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID8Rp1CLAUM
Jenny rolled through the landing and ended up in a slumped seat. It was an unpleasant landing to be sure, one that earned the Innovator her first sympathetic reaction in months, as the FAWNatics couldn’t help but groan when they saw her the whole upper half of her face painted with the proverbial ‘Crimson Mask’. Castle went to check on her at once but never got the words out because Maddy stepped in his way and hauled the bloodied blonde to her feet. “Sorry Nick.” Crane slipped an arm through Jacobs’s legs and hupped her onto one shoulder for what could’ve been any number of things. “Our last match ended with a stoppage. I’m not going to let that happen twice.”
Turning away before he could protest too loudly, Mads hooked her hands around Jenny’s biceps and boosted her up so she was in a sort of front-facing Crucifix lift. With steel available on all four sides, Maddy didn’t have to turn any particular direction, but she still made sure they were both facing the hard camera when she broke into a shambling run and hurled Jacobs off her shoulders like she was FAWN’s largest lawn dart! There was a cringe-inducing BWAAAANG followed by a moan from the crowd, as several disenchanted Jacobites found a measure of sympathy in their hearts for their former heroine.
Maddy Crane was not among them.
In fact she’d expected Jacobs to go down in a heap after the headfirst collision and when the former World Champ somehow landed on her feet, it sent her opponent racing to the other side of the ring. Moving faster than she had any right to following all the punishment she’d absorbed, Maddy waited until Jenny started to turn around, then hopped up and lashed out with her right foot! THWHACK! No Crane pose for All Hallows Evil, but Maddy’s signature kick still had more than enough power to turn Jenny inside out before she hit the mat. Crumpling to her knees beside the annihilated blonde, the Smiling Knight shoved Jenny onto her back and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOOO!
“FAAAAAAAAAAAAHK!” Maddy wailed like a crippled banshee as the defiant Innovator somehow found the energy to buck her off. That was all though. Jenny was part of the match as far as the rules were concerned, but she still looked like someone who’d been thrown from a car accident and Castle would’ve called the match then and there if the crippled Californian hadn’t waved him off when he tried to check on her.
Maddy didn’t even see this exchange, she was too busy tugging at her hair to regain control over her rampaging emotions. It wasn’t easy, but ultimately she succeeded long enough to pull the penitent blonde into a Standing Headscissors. Then she cinched her arms around Jenny’s waist, muscled her upside down and dropped to her butt, THWHONKING that pulverized noggin against the thinly-sheathed plywood. Jenny jolted hard and should’ve bounced away, but Crane held onto the Waistlock and rolled onto her knees to bring both women back to their feet. A second Piledriver followed, this one more emphatic than the first because Maddy hopped before landing on her tush.
THIRD DEGREE (Piledrivers only): www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E0dmMIZnkI
The sold out crowd expected her to roll through again and they weren’t disappointed, only this time Crane didn’t go with a simple head-drop. Rather she slipped her hands under Jenny’s biceps and locked her hands in a Double Underhook. From there she muscled her off the mat and drew her in close enough to slip Jacobs’s legs around her midsection. There was so much Mads wanted to say right then, to the crowd, to Nick, even to Jenny, but words failed her and just this once the Princess offered no Punchline as she tossed Jenny out in front and jerked up on her left arm, a jolt that sent the black-clad battler into a twirling cyclone. Sitting out along with her defiant archrival, Maddy found the energy to smile when Jenny THWHAMMED into the canvas. Maddy slid around ninety degrees, shot the Half Nelson and rolled Jacobs onto her back. Then she slid into an exhausted Crossbody while Nick Castle dropped to his knees and the Basement Dwellers leapt to their feet.
PLAN M FROM OUTER SPACE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVLq6VedHco
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Rolling onto her back as soon as the bell sounded, the Sultana of Slapstick barely found the energy to raise a hand when the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… MADDY CRANE!”
After several more seconds she made it to one knee and extended a hand to Nick, but when someone pulled her up she found herself greeted by the worried face of Al Carpenter. “I’m sorry, Al.” Maddy blurted out, surprise forcing the reaction out before she could offer something more measured. “I didn’t want it to go like this, but I… I had to… I couldn’t lose to her again.”
Al started to say something, then stopped when a pair of EMT’s bustled through the cage door to check on his girlfriend. “I know, Maddy. You don’t have anything to apologize for, as far as I’m concerned. But she’s still the love of my life, so I hope you’ll understand why I don’t raise your hand.”
“I’ll do it.” Nick stepped up and put a hand on your shoulder. “They brought her around, Al. Go check on her, this is my match after all.” Carpenter murmured thanks and went to check on Jenny while Nick took Jenny by the wrist and raised her hand. “Good work, Mads.” the ref said afterward. “Some of your best yet.”
“Then why do I feel like such a shyt?”
“Because you’re a good person.” Nick answered without hesitation. “And good people feel bad when they--”
A relieved cheer went up and they both turned to look as Al and one of the EMT’s helped Jenny to her feet. They’d toweled off the worst of the blood, but Jacobs still looked like death warmed over and Maddy couldn’t help but cringe when she saw the cut on her foe’s forehead. Al and the medic went to lead Jenny to the cage door only to stop when Crane stepped in their way.
Locking eyes with the blonde for the first time in what felt like ages, Maddy swallowed the lump in her throat and extended a hand. “Truce.” she croaked. “We need a truce, Jenny.”
Jacobs looked from the redhead to the peace offering and back again, her weary eyes betraying no particular emotion. The lack of reaction lashed at Crane’s heart and she took a step forward. “Shake my hand, Jenny! I’m offering you a goddamned olive branch, all you have to do is SHAKE. MY. HAND.”
Jenny shrugged loose of the EMT, reached for Maddy’s hand, then raised it up and flipped a bird less than two inches from the redhead’s nose. “F*ck you, Maddy.” she whispered. “Beat me a hundred times, I still won’t like you. Beat me a thousand times, I still won’t respect you. Now get the hell out of my way.”
It took the last bit of Maddy’s reserves to not burst into tears when she stepped aside to let the defeated Innovator limp out of the cage. Al caught her eye as he passed and mouthed, “Sorry Mads.” Crane closed her eyes, told herself it was just sweat trickling down her cheeks.
“Don’t feel bad, Maddy.” Nick said once the blonde and her worried attendants were out of earshot. “Tonight’s the night you finally made it.”
Crane scraped a forearm across her face before looking at the referee. “I don’t follow, Nick. Sure doesn’t feel I’ve made anything.”
“There’s an old saying in this business. You know you’ve made it when your idols become your rivals.”
“I just wanted a handshake, Nick. I would’ve forgiven everything if she’d just shook my hand.”
“She will. One day.” the ref replied. “And even if she doesn’t, I can think of several thousand others happy to do it for her.”
Maddy looked around and finally realized the crowd was still on their feet, showering the ring with raucous applause. Finally breaking into that trademark smile, Crane smacked Castle on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, stripes. I gotta go greet my adoring public.”
Nick stepped aside, allowing Maddy to leave the ring for the single most vindicating victory lap of her career. It wasn’t the handshake she’d wanted, but it was a helluva good alternative.
“Introducing first, hailing from Antonio Bay, California, she stands at five feet four inches tall and weighs in at one hundred twenty seven pounds. She is the Innovator of Offense, the NorCal Sensation, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds… JENNY JACOBS!"
Already on their feet to get a better view of the cage, the trick ‘r treaters that made up All Hallows Evil turned to the stage as one and let loose with all the disdain they could muster. Their enmity did nothing to stop Invincible from storming the speakers, indeed the former champ’s anthem seemed to swell alongside the jeers until the Insidious Innovator swatted the curtain aside and stepped into view. Sparing the cage and fans only the briefest of glances, Jenny Jacobs turned to the nearest camera and said, “You’re going to bleed buckets tonight, Maddy. You’re going to spend another week in the hospital on FAWN’s dime and before they medicate your sorry ass into dreamland I want you to remember that YOU ASKED FOR THIS.” She finished the warning with a middle-finger ‘J’, then set her sites on the ramp and what waited at the base thereof.
JENNY JACOBS
For this year’s trip into the devil’s den that was the Madhouse, Jenny wore the dead black version of her ‘starstruck’ briefs as well as a matching halter-style top with the cups held together by a small metal buckle in the shape of a star. Her boots and pads were an electric blue while her hair was pulled back in a short, severe ponytail. Happy to run her mouth at every troll, slug and humanoid on the aisle, Jacobs abruptly broke into a flat sprint that brought her to the steps leading up to the apron and the cage beyond. Grabbing hold of the mesh with both hands, she gave it a shake and listened to the clatter. “Not a lot of give tonight.” she murmured. “This’ll be fun.”
While Jacobs entered the cage and offered up wrists and ankles to Nick Castle, the Announcer went on. "And introducing her opponent, hailing from the Red Hook Section of Brooklyn New York, she weighs one hundred and twenty five pounds and stands at five feet five inches tall. She is the Queen of the Facebusters Tribe, the Happy Anarchist, the Glad Bomber, please welcome back MADDY CRANE!”
MADDY CRANE
The inmates did so at the top of their lungs, everyone who was able leaping to their feet with a roar as Shinedown’s ‘Cut The Cord’ rang out in the dark. Maddy appeared with her music and raised a fist for her fans but that was it from the usually talkative star as she made her way to
ringside. For her first match in a FAWN ring in more than six months, Crane wore a seasonal orange sports bra top and matching bikini bottoms crisscrossed with thin black belts worn bandolier style while her boots and pads were done in a matching matte black. And as per tradition, the seat of her trunks featured an appropriate message:
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Beeyotch.
Storming down the ramp without taking her eyes off Jacobs, Maddy circled the cage once, then stomped up the steps and dipped through the ropes. She went for Jacobs at once, would’ve got her too, if Castle hadn’t interjected at mid-ring. “Back to your corner, Mads.” he said. “You’ve waited this long, you can wait a little more.” “What’s the matter, her last meal threatening a rerun? Hope you’ve got a mop and bucket ringside, Nick. This one’s going to get messy.” The ref made no answer, just shooed his charge back to the opposite corner, where he inspected her pads and boots and patiently reminded her that homicide was still homicide, even inside a steel cage.
CLANG!
Imposing though it was, their battleground made no impression on Jacobs or Crane when the bell sounded, each was far too busy searching the other’s eyes for any sign of hesitation. Neither found that for which they searched, though it didn’t seem to hamper their confidence in the slightest. Indeed, Jacobs sounded remarkably nonplussed when she said, “First match back in almost six months and you want it in a steel cage? What the hell were you thinking, Crane?”
Maddy shrugged, the ghost of a smile lurking at the corner of her mouth. “I was thinking you missed a year on the shelf, then came back to face Sydney at ‘Mania. You know how it goes, anything you can do--”
“No, you can’t.” the Innovator said bluntly. “I steal shows. I carry companies. I win titles. I beat the best. You can’t do that, Maddy. Not here, anyway. Any other locker room on the planet, yeah, you could be the face on the marquee. But NOT here. Because I’M here. FAWN is MY home. And as long as we share a locker room you’ll never be anything but--”
Crane’s right hand moved with viper-quickness, the redhead CRA-CRAAACKING Jacobs across the mouth with a pair of open handed slaps. “You don’t get to talk to me like that anymore.” she replied, her words almost lost in the thunderous reaction of the crowd. “Not after you threw a tantrum and tried to cripple me just because I turned out to be a tougher fight than you ever--”
Jenny’s rebuttal involved a Bytch Slap of her own as well as a short, furious Forearm Smash across the redhead’s tits. “You’re not tough, Crane. You’re stupid. A little more pressure and I could’ve ENDED your career. Keep that in mind before you tell me how you’re ready to go at my levNN NNNNGGHHH!”
The Happy Anarchist matched Jenny’s Forearm Smash, then raised her with a European Uppercut straight from the Olivia Dare playbook. Flashing a real smile when she saw the blonde
check her lower lip for blood, Maddy snapped, “What, did you think I just FORGOT spending three months rehabbing my back and another three scraping off all the ring rust? I didn’t forget, Jenny. I was there for every second of your title run and I almost put my boot through the TV when Eliza won at Mania because that was MY moment. If anyone was gonna put you down on the biggest stage of the year, it should’ve been--”
Jenny stepped up for a second Forearm Smash but when Mads went to brace for it the blonde palmed her head in both hands and THWONKED a Headbutt between her eyes! Maddy stumbled, went to clinch and Jacobs let her, if only to grab her foe by the scruff of the neck. Twisting away from the stunned redhead, the NorCal Sensation charged the ropes with Crane in tow and bounced her foe’s noggin off the unforgiving links! The first loud BWAAANG was followed by two more, as Jenny let her rival bounce back just enough to power the second and third trips to the cage. Crane grabbed the top rope after the last collision, so Jacobs snuggled in behind her, grabbed a handful of hair and forced Maddy’s face against the steel.
“You should be on your knees THANKING ME!” Jacobs hissed in her ear. “Because every ‘moment’ you manage from tonight forward is only because I didn’t want to get blacklisted for ending the career of a lifelong footnote like UUUUUUUNNNNNGGGHHH!”
The NorCal Sensation’s tirade came to an abrupt, painful end when Maddy swung a vindictive heel up and back between her thighs! Shrugging loose from Jenny’s clutches as the blonde stumbled away with her knees practically locked together, Maddy flipped hair off her face and went for the retreating blonde. Jacobs made it all of three steps when Maddy grabbed her by the neck, whipped her around and BWAAAANGED her off the links! Jenny bounced, fired off a Back Elbow that hit just hard enough to make Crane answer with a Double Axehandle between the shoulders.
Knocked to all fours by the undefended strike, Jacobs only started to struggle when Maddy forced her upper body between the top and middle ropes. Alas by then it was far too late and the redhead wasted no time in hooking her arms over the second strand. She’d just started to struggle with this new arrangement when the Red Hook Joker planted a foot on either side of her hips and sat down on the small of her back. “I’ve shared this ring with a lot of women I can’t stand.” Maddy admitted as she filled her hands with the Californian’s hair. “Lizzie Cromwell, Miranda Wainright, Lisa of course. Hell, me and Wendy still don’t get along that well. But through all those matches I never thought I’d meet someone I’d be ok torturing. Can you imagine how shocked I was to realize that I had met that chick, and that she was you?”
Bad position or not, it didn’t stop Jacobs from digging her nails into the crease of Maddy’s knees, the stunned blonde in search of soft flesh to claw. “You don’t have it in you, Mads.” she grunted. “The worst punishment you can imagine involves punch lines and that’s not gonna get it done inside this caGGGEEEEERRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!”
The Happy Anarchist pressed Jacobs’s face into the links and proceeded to draaaaaaaaaaaaaag it back and forth for ten agonizing seconds! Adopting a more traditional Camel Clutch grip once she’d proved her point, Crane leaned in close and murmured, “You’re going to learn to respect me, JJ. Even if I have to beat it into you. Even if I leave on a stretcher.
Even if I never wrestle another match after tonight, I SWEAR TO GOD that I will have your respect before you get to leave this ring.”
Jenny’s answer was immediate. “Kiss my ass, you chuckling little UNGH!”
Crane bounced her again and might’ve piled on even more if she wasn’t worried about Castle calling things on account of early blood loss. Raising her hands to make sure the ref knew she was backing off, Mads cleared her throat when Nick moved in to check on the blonde. “Too soon, Castle. Far as I’m concerned, you don’t get to ask her anything until she’s screaming at the top of her lungs. Or left a few pints on the canvas.”
The senior official didn’t like the sound of that one bit, but the rules of the Cage didn’t allow him much say in the matter, so he held his tongue as Crane whipped around on one heel and ran the ropes on the far side of the ring. Racing back like she hadn’t missed six minutes, let alone six months, the Sultana of Snark took to the skies, cocked her right fist up behind her ear and then pistoned it forward to PWAAAAK Jenny square in the backside! Roaring in anger as the low flying Snark Attack got a loud cheer from the crowd, the Innovator redoubled her escape efforts.
She would’ve found a way out, given enough time, but Mads was in no mood for such generosity and she reminded Jacobs of this fact by planting a shin across the back of the prone lovely’s neck. Grabbing the top rope in both hands, Crane pushed up and leaaaaaaaaaaaaned back, using every bit of her weight to pinch her opponent’s throat against the rubber-coated steel. Blatant chokes still earned a warning in even the most relaxed stipulations and Castle wasted no time putting his count to good use. Maddy worked it ‘til ‘FOUR!, then hopped up and CLAPPED Jenny’s rump with a single hard swat.
“Leave her there for just a little while longer, Nick.” the redhead warned when the ref moved to free Jenny from the trap. “I’ll get her out. Right after I do this.”
She took off across the ring again, but Crane’s return trip led with her feet rather than her fist, the Original Pranksta showing almost Daly-ian levels of precision and velocity with the Dropkick she THWHAPPED against Jenny’s butt. Of course the Dropkick was only the set-up, the punch-line was the BWAAAAANG of Jacobs’s head hitting the links at top speed. The former champion sagged like a puppet with cut strings, Jenny showing no signs of resistance when Crane dragged her out of the strands and flopped across her chest for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Mads hadn’t hooked a leg, so Jacobs bridged hard and shoved her away with a full second to spare. “F*cking amateur.” the Innovator grumbled once she’d worked her way to a seat. “Think you’re gonna beat me with such a lazy-ass covNNNNGGGGGHH!”
The Queen of the Facebusters Tribe cut her off with a short, vicious Headbutt that connected just above Jenny’s left eye. Castle would’ve bet the night’s pay that the blow would
bust Jenny wide open, yet there was no blood to be seen when Jacobs collapsed to the canvas in a surprised starfish. “Easy on the head shots, ok Maddy?” the ref suggested. “I don’t need either of you missing more time to injury.”
Crane didn’t acknowledge right away, as she was in the midst of rolling the blonde onto her belly. Then she grabbed Jenny’ s left wrist, folded it up between her shoulders and yanked until Jacobs smacked her free fist against the mat. Only then did Maddy look to the ref. “I couldn’t leave the ring under my own power because of this bytch, Nick. Her safety is very low on my list of priorities.”
Fighting to get back to all fours even with one arm out of commission and the redhead’s knee wedged against the small of her back, JJ huffed, “Hope you liked the view from the stretcher last time, honey. Because you’re getting an encore tonEEEGGHH! AAARRRH! F*CK DAMMIT!”
Crane stretched out like she was gonna start some push-ups and did exactly one before the drilled the point of her left knee into the ball of Jenny’s right shoulder! Simple, but no doubt effective, as evidenced by Jacobs’s pained shrieks as Mads unleashed half a dozen more Knee Drops in about that many seconds. Transitioning to a basic Wristlock once she figured she’d knocked some of the sass out of Jenny’s tone, Crane got to her feet and used her grip to make Jacobs do the same. The Innovator did as the joint-lock bade, not that it stopped her from putting a thumb in Maddy’s eye, or at least trying to. She’d only started to lunge when the redhead hopped and flicked her wrist up n’ down like her whole arm was nothing more than a wet towel.
Jenny cursed, reached for her aching shoulder and stifled a cry when Maddy stepped back and spun the wincing blonde halfway through an Arm Wringer. The midpoint’s where it became a full-on Armbreaker, Maddy rising onto tiptoe, then dropping to a seat to bring Jenny’s exposed bicep THUMPING down on her own shoulder! Jacobs jolted violently but didn’t lose her footing, rather she turned around and staggered away, the veteran instinctively fighting to protect her left arm from more punish--”UNGH!”
The Sultana of Slapstick grabbed Jenny’s waistband, reeled her in with a single rude yank and THWHAPPED the broadside of her left thigh across her prey’s lower back. “Bytch.” Jenny huffed as she stumbled away from the heavy shot. “I’ll make you wish you’d never AAAHHHHHHH FAAAAAAAHHHK!”
“Wish I’d never wasted time giving you respect?” Maddy snapped amidst reapplying that damned Hammerlock. “What’s done is done, JJ. All I can do now is make you sorry for the hell you put me through.”
Jenny didn’t get to answer because Crane snagged a handful of her trunks and took off running, Mads using both her grips to keep the NorCal Sensation bent almost double right up until the moment she slammed the brakes and hurled through the space between top and middle turnbuckles. The rattling BWANG of head on cage was bad, the low THWHUMP of shoulder on steel post (and the sob that followed) was infinitely worse. Not that Jenny had any real time to compare the dual impacts mind you, the links were still thrumming quite nastily when Maddy
pulled the blonde out, spun her around and muscled her up into a gut-first perch across her right shoulder.
Up on her toes the instant she locked her hands, Crane dropped to one knee and DRILLED Jenny’s aching shoulder into the meat of her right knee. Jacobs wailed in pain, wrapped her arms around the redhead’s waist and squeezed tight, hoping her counter-hug would at least throw off the skank’s balance long enough to-- Maddy clambered to full verticality, paused to set her feet, went down for a second Shoulderbreaker. Grip loosened after the latest jolt to her shoulder, Jenny shifted over to short, stabbing punches to the ribs after Crane stood up and unleashed a third Shoulderbreaker!
“Injuring her won’t balance the scale, Mads.” Nick warned his charge after Maddy straightened up without letting her blonde fall to the mat. “If anything it’ll only prove you’re as misguided as she--” the senior official cringed when Crane completed her quartet of Shoulderbreakers, the last and stiffest drawing a sharp scream of agony from the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds.
SHOULDERBREAKER RAMPAGE! www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49MXDK_C7M
Maddy let loose when the set was over and even more surprising, Jenny actually slid down her tormentor’s shoulder and landed on her feet. This arrangement proved fleeting, as Crane promptly grabbed her blonde by the shoulders, hopped up and locked her stems around Jenny’s head like she was going for a Hurricanrana. Jenny must’ve thought the same because she put her hands to the redhead’s glutes and pushed as hard as she could in an effort to create some distance. In the end Jacobs got what she wanted, as Mads did indeed float off the Innovator’s shoulders. Unfortunately she’d also helped herself to a double handful of hair and that’s what brought Jenny THWHONKING to the deck flat on her face while Crane landed on her tush in relative comfort.
RANA FEINT FACEBUSTER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgFj-d19x1I
Jenny bounced, started to roll onto her back, then forced herself to slop back the way she came so Maddy couldn’t go for an easy pin. Turned out to be a moot point as rather than go for the win Crane inflicted more hurt, this time in the form of a single wicked stomp to her nemesis’s wounded shoulder. Finally turning her attention to Castle after Jenny curled into a ball at her feet, the Glad Bomber said, “I’m not going to injure her, Nick. But she’s going to feel every bit of the hurt, worry and uncertainty I went through the morning after the I Quit match when my back was so stiff for a minute I thought I was paralyzed.” She paused, swallowed a lump in her throat. “That was the scariest moment of my life, Nick. Jenny did that to me, it’s only fair that she experiences the same.”
Castle couldn’t think of anything to say, so he remained silent as Maddy stomped around to the blonde’s north end and buried a hand in her hair. A single tug only brought the former World Champ to her knees, so Crane added a second and that got Jacobs back to boot
leath--“UUUNNNNNGGGHHH!”
Jenny drove a knee between Maddy’s thighs, then laced both hands around the back of her head and wedged her own head beneath opposing chin. Just like that she dropped to her knees and sent Crane reeling with a quick Jawbreaker. The Innovator hadn’t actually expected to drop Mads with such a basic maneuver, yet the mere fact of Crane’s continued verticality proved intolerable for the enraged blonde and so she brought it to a savage end courtesy of a full fledged punt between Maddy’s thighs!
Face alight in a savage grin even as Crane collapsed to her hands and knees, Jacobs took several deep breaths before she said, “You think you can scare me, you little shyt? I once got carried out of this building on a stretcher after Dream tried to put my head through a f*cking cinder block. THAT’S scary. You? You’re nothing more than a persistent pain in the ass.”
Maddy didn’t answer with words, instead she forced herself to her knees and grabbed hold of the blonde’s waistband, presumably in an effort to help her stand. Alas, Jenny didn’t let it get that far. Circling an arm around the back of Maddy’s head, Jacobs cupped the penitent battler’s chin and pulled her head back at an unpleasant angle. “Did you think the I Quit match was the worst I could put you through, Mads?” the blonde asked without a trace of her usual snark or condescension. “It’s not. Not by a long shot. What I do to you tonight, though. You’ll never forget what I do to you UNGH!”
Crane’s leverage was shyt in her current position, but that didn’t stop her from hammering a bunch of mean little punches into the Innovator’s haughty backside! Temper flaring in the face of this defiance, Jenny squeezed Maddy’s chin like she meant to tear it off, then curled her other hand into a fist and unloaded half a dozen quick, stabbing punches into the other woman’s hairline. The Sultana snarled with each shot, made Jenny pay dearly for them with a two-handed wedgie that bared a good three quarters of the blonde’s glutes in a single yank.
“Goddamned pussy.” the Innovator hissed. “That how you want to fight?” She curled her punchin’ hand into a talon and draaaaaaaagged it across Crane’s face, paying special attention to her eyes and nose. Maddy wailed, pressed her stinging mug against Jenny’s encroaching tummy and transitioned from the wedgie to a simple S-grip just below the curve of opposing glutes. Squeezing Jacobs as tight as she could, Maddy surged back to verticality and hoisted her blonde off the canvas by a good eighteen inches! Jenny didn’t like this new arrangement in the slightest and she expressed her displeasure by driving the point of one elbow into the crown of Crane’s skull.
The Bionic Elbow got her back to terra firma quickly enough, only problem was Mads had the wherewithal to go down on one knee, which turned the whole works into an awkward Inverted Atomic Drop! Straightening up as soon as Jenny’s hand fell away from her chin, the Happy Anarchist laid claim to Jacobs’s wrist, stepped back and slung her toward the far corner with an Irish Wh-- Jenny dug her heels in and reversed the Whip, sending Maddy thundering into the buckles in her stead. The NorCal Sensation raised the J’s, turned them into middle fingers aimed at the redhead and raced for the buckles at top speed. She was heartbeats away from a
crushing collision when Maddy leaned back as best she could and whipped a high kick at the oncoming grappler’s chin.
Most often lauded for her offense (they’d made it a nickname, after all) Jenny proved equally adept at defense as she slammed on the brakes and caught hold of Maddy’s ankle before it could splatter her chin. Maddy started to say something but it came out a startled yelp as the blonde stepped back and yanked the captured leg hard enough to send her prey flying away from the corner. Spinning to one side as Crane flew by, JJ hooked her left arm under Maddy’s left knee and looped her right arm around the back of her rival’s head. Hands locked to make an awkward Cradle, Jenny exploded up onto tiptoe, muscled Crane to chest level, then went down on one knee to THWHUMP the redhead’s vertabrae with a beautiful Cradle Backbreaker.
CRADLED BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg6WRSkR9Ok
Maddy bounced loose and landed on her knees, the penitent lovely frozen in anguish following the savage counter. She was still struggling through the worst of the hurt when Jenny stalked over and hooked two fingers into her nostrils. “Stand up, bytch. We’re just getting started.” Crane wanted no part of such a demand, but there wasn’t much she could do with the Californian literally leading her by the nose. Switching over to a Wristlock once Mads was vertical, Jenny stepped off and slung her burden at the ropes with an Irish Whip. No reversals or other shenanigans this time around, the Princess of the Punchline merely hit the strands and returned, little more than a mobile tackling dummy for the Innovator, who stepped in and angled her right arm across Maddy’s chest. The FAWNatics cringed in anticipation of the Jenny-Cide and understandably so, as the set-up was identical. (Un)fortunately for Maddy, the former champ had said things were just getting started so rather than grant the Smiling Knight the mercy of her finisher, she snatched a handful of waistband, muscled Crane high into the air and brought her down spine-first across the point of one bent knee. Jenny might’ve promised her prey a long night of suffering, yet that apparently didn’t save Maddy from covers, as Jacobs hooked the far leg and folded her in half for a quick…
SNAP URANAGE BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=do_ox1MukFo
ONE…
TWO…
Mads kicked out with a full second to spare, though the yelp she voiced upon doing so suggested future escapes might not be so emphatic. Set on her knees beside the wincing redhead, Jenny took a deep breath, tucked her hair behind her ears, then casually reached out and planted a claw between her rival’s thighs! “How’s that feel, punk?” Jacobs growled as she jostled her hand up & down. “Does it feel like you can hang with me?”
Too hurt to answer, Crane endured a good five seconds more of the tawdry punishment before she wrenched free of Jenny’s grip and flopped onto her belly. “Dirty bytch.” she sobbed through clenched teeth. “I’ll make you regret thaaaarrrhhhhh NO! NOOOOO
AAAARRRRRRRHHHH FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHK!”
Drifting between tawdry and technical with an ease that was practically unfair, the NorCal Sensation spun around on one knee, grabbed Crane by the ankles and got to her feet. With Maddy’s stems firmly in her possession, Jacobs began step backward, which peeled her opponent’s legs a little farther off the mat and put more and more pressure on her back. It wasn’t a traditional Boston Crab by any means, as Jenny hadn’t stepped over her victim’s body or even dropped to one knee, yet that didn’t seem to weaken the hold at all, as Maddy shook her head ‘no’ and wailed with every blonde step. Only setting her feet when she had Crane’s body south of her chest scraped off the deck, Jenny looked to Nick and said, “Ask her. Ask the little punk ass.”
STANDING BOSTON CRAB: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_vWFGYo2hE
Hands braced against the canvas, Mads tried to push away and suffered another jolt through the spine for her troubles. “Why don’t you ask me yourself, skank?” she grunted when she’d fought off the very worst of the hurt.
There was no way Jenny didn’t hear the redhead’s question, Nick Castle was almost ten feet removed from the action and he heard it clear as day. Yet rather than respond to Crane, the Innovator looked to the referee with an insincerely puzzled look on her face. “Did you hear something, Nick? I was thinking about worthy opponents and I could’ve swore I heard some cockroach mouthing off.”
Nick shook his head, unwilling to play a part in Jenny’s mean game. Instead he walked over to his warring charges and dropped to one knee beside Crane. “How you doin’, Mads? Need me to call for the bell?”
Shaking her head in any direction was out of the question given the unpleasant angle, so the Queen of the Facebusters waggled a finger and grunted, “Bytch has never been able to make me quit. Why would I start noOOOOWWWWWEERRRRRRHHHH!”
Jenny stepped back a little farther and to make matters worse, she moved her right foot from the mat to the side of Maddy’s face! Working her ankle like she was butting a cigarette (or crushing a bug) Jacobs let Crane suffer for another ten seconds or so before she taunted, “You already lost six months, asshole. You really ready to lose a whole HEY! DAMMIT!”
Forced to admit there was only one way out of this predicament that didn’t involve her tapping the mat, Maddy reached up, grabbed hold of Jacobs’s ankle and tugged it off the back of her noggin! It didn’t even sort of break the hold, however the shift in footing eased the pressure just enough for Crane to twist off her chest and onto her back! Practically sighing with relief, the Sultana of Slapstick raised her hands and flipped Jenny a pair of birds, then crossed her thumbs and turned both hands down to show an ’M’! “You can’t break me, JJ.” Maddy huffed to the fuming blonde. “You can hurt me, you can knock me out, you can put me on all the stretchers you want, but you’re never going to break NNNNNGGGHH!”
‘Never’ was a word Jenny Jacobs didn’t hold much stock in so she demonstrated her lack of belief by stretching the redhead’s legs wide and THUMPING a knee against her crotch! Hands wedged between her thighs, Maddy was powerless to prevent the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds from rolling her backward onto all fours in a sort of crippled somersault. Regarding the vulnerable redhead with the oddest mixture of disgust and resignation, Jenny grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her rival into a Standing Headscissors. “You want me to talk to you, Crane? To treat you like an equal?” JJ muttered after wrapping her arms around the other woman’s waist. “Then stop sniveling and listen. The more you run your f*cking mouth, the worse I’m going to hurt you.” She halved the Waistlock and slapped Maddy’s ass. “Understand?”
Silence for a long time, Jenny thought her message might’ve actually penetrated that thick skull. Then Maddy huffed, “Do your worst you second-rate Deschain wannabe.”
Jacobs flinched as if she’d been slapped and even Nick grimaced, the ref knowing damned well that any chance of mercy vanished with that vicious verbal takedown. Mean-spirited as it was, it didn’t help Crane out of the Headscissors, in fact her position grew all the more dangerous when Jenny dipped her knees and spun the woozy warrior up onto her shoulders. Now the NorCal Sensation had an entire ring at her disposal, not to mention the ropes and the turnbuckles, but Maddy’s savage assessment meant the cage was her only viable option. And so she charged, the infuriated Californian building up an impressive head of steam in the few seconds before she BWAAAAANGED Crane’s back into the shining steel.
CAGE BOMB???
The rattle and shiver of the links wasn’t enough to cover Maddy’s shriek, nor did it mask the fact that Jacobs still held her prey in the Powerbomb stall. Tromping away from the ropes like a woman on a mission, Jenny swung toward the nearest corner and set off for it at a near run. There was a low THWHUMP, followed by a much louder groan of sympathetic anguish from the Basement Dwellers as Jacobs hurled Maddy into the turnbuckles spine-first!
BUCKLE BOMB:
The Buckle Bomb should’ve put Crane on her knees, if not flat on her face, yet somehow the Happy Anarchist kept both feet under her and infinitely more important, she CRAAACKED a hard Bytch Slap across Jenny’s surprised face! “C’MON!” she roared to the wide-eyed Innovator. “IS THAT ALL YOU’VE F*CKING GONNNNGGHHH!”
Jacobs recovered her composure and planted a Toe Kick in the redhead’s gut, doubling her over. Another Standing Headscissors followed, as did a quick flip onto Jenny’s shoulders. But when it came time for the descent Jenny only went down on one knee, meaning the small of Maddy’s devastated back THWHUNKED down atop the point of that hatefully posted joint. Maddy flopped onto her belly then twisted onto her belly then twisted
anvas was electrified. Nick went to check on her but Jacobs beat him to it, the vengeful blonde dropping to her knees beside the ravaged redhead. Planting one hand on Maddy’s cheek and the other on her gulping tummy, Jenny pushed down hard, forcing Crane’s face toward the hard camera while a reluctant Castle counted…
POWERBOMB BACKBREAKER: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLJtX8tBRNg
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
The Glad Bomber twisted onto her side, saving the match with less than a whisper to spare. Infuriated but somehow not surprised, Jenny plunged a hand into Crane’s sweat-soaked hair and hauled her to a seat. “This is your fault, Maddy.” she said it softly, almost a whisper. “You could’ve had a long, respectable career. But now… now that’s all over.”
No response from Crane, which was exactly how the blonde wanted it. On her feet shortly thereafter, Jacobs took her time in forcing Maddy to all fours… her knees… and finally back to some semblance of verticality. A single hard slap raised nothing more than a groan from the Sultana of Slapstick, so Jacobs lowered a shoulder, jabbed it into the redhead’s belly and hoisted her up like she was a bag of laundry. The FAWNatics let their former heroine have it with both barrels as she set out on a sauntering stroll around the perimeter, seemingly no one in the Madhouse pleased with Jacobs’s cruelty and her increasing dominance over the once game Crane. Pausing at one corner after two full circuits of the ring, the NorCal Sensation honed in on the opposite turnbuckle and charged it at a dead run. Everyone pleaded with Mads to find a way out, even Castle offered her a silent prayer, but it all turned out for naught as Jenny leaned forward and BWUUUUNGED her rival’s devastated spinal column against the buckles.
Maddy shrieked to wake the dead even as she slumped forward to wrap her arms around Jenny’s shoulders in a woozy clench. Jacobs didn’t fight it, she simply got low, wrapped her arms around Crane’s midsection and muscled her into a woozy seat on the top buckle. Another hard, dismissive slap kept Maddy docile as JJ climbed onto the bottom rope and slowly but surely forced the other woman to stand. From there it was only the matter of a few steps for Jenny to join her prey in the high rent district, the former World Champion lacing her right arm across Maddy’s chest in a way that promised Jenny-cide in a matter of moments. Clutching her redhead in a death grip, Jacobs put her lips to Crane’s ear and cooed, “Even though your career ends tonight, please know that your best moments will live on… as part of my highlight reNNNNNNGGGGHHHH!”
Maddy’s right hand, which had been hanging limp between Jenny’s shoulders, suddenly grabbed hold of her tormentor’s hair and BWONKED her forehead into the steel post that made up the corner of the cage. Jacobs’s knees shivered and her hold on Mads loosened, but didn’t give way, so the Princess of the Punchline not once, not twice, not even thrice, but a full half dozen times! In fact she didn’t stop until she felt blood pattering on her shoulder and even then she only wriggled out of the arm-clutch to force Jenny down into a Front Facelock.
Barely aware of the cacophony welling up around her, Maddy slung Jenny’s near arm over across her shoulders and grabbed a handful of waistband. Hooks set tight and deep, the redhead sucked in a ragged breath and huffed, “Welcome to my highlight reel, bytch.” Then she muscled Jacobs all the way to two o’clock and stepped out into the void, Crane kicking her legs up to hip level so she landed hard on her butt while Jenny THAWHAMMED down flat on her face as the victim of a huge Sit-Out Gourdbuster.
Those assembled roared for Mads to go for a cover, but the Smiling Knight hadn’t released the Facelock yet and so she kicked her legs back and barrel rolled onto her belly which made it that much easier to scramble to her feet. Tugging on opposing togs hard enough to raise a half wedgie, Maddy muscled Jenny back to two o’clock, only this time she spun around in a tight corkscrew and laid out on her tummy to best PLANT the NorCal Sensation flat on her face and chest! With Jenny splattered across the deck after Insult 2 Injury, Crane dragged the blonde onto her back, hooked both legs behind the knee and folded her in half in the hopes of earning a career-defining…
INSULT 2 INJURY @ 00:00 www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrtetUUuBWo
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Whether it was Maddy’s exhaustion, Jenny’s determination or some combination of the two, the Girl of 8,675,309 Holds shoved Crane away with less than half a second to spare. Mads set back on her haunches and showed three fingers to Nick just in case she’d heard wrong. She hadn’t, the official confirmed it with two of his own, so the Happy Anarchist plopped to her butt, drew up her right knee and slowly pulled the pad down over her boot. Beside her, Jenny dabbed at the wound on her forehead until Maddy buried both hands in her hair and peeled her off the canvas. A Kneelift to the navel doubled Jacobs over and that double handful of hair made sure she stayed that way even after Crane began THWHONKING her bared knee into the blonde’s forehead over and over and over again.
Still quite woozy after the back to back Facebusters, Jenny’s head cleared when the first knee struck her dome, unfortunately the hits kept coming and Crane’s measured pace combined with her growing disorientation and the blood dripping into one eye meant she could do little more than deliver weak slaps to the redhead’s ribs. Maddy didn’t seem to notice, she only kept working that cut until Jenny went to one knee, her arms instinctively looping around her foe’s hips to maintain at least a semblance of control over her position. Above her, Crane segued from her Neck Clasp to a Front Facelock, then crooked her right arm into a tire iron and THWHAPPED it across Jacobs’s shoulders half a dozen times in perhaps as many seconds.
The grip around her waist loosened even more and Mads had no trouble breaking it apart and slipping her right arm under Jenny’s left bicep for a Single Underhook. That and the Facelock proved more than enough to drag Jacobs to boot leather, it was also sufficient to hoist
Jenny several inches into the air. Aware of the redhead’s penchant for Facebusters even in her decimated state, Jenny brought her legs up and braced her shins against Crane’s hips in a sort of loose Cradle. If this bothered Maddy she didn’t show it, in fact the Red Hook Joker looked wearily satisfied when she abruptly popped her hips and swung Jacobs out full length, then snapped back and SPIKED her on the crown of her skull with a brutal DDT!
EXCEDRIN HEADACHE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID8Rp1CLAUM
Jenny rolled through the landing and ended up in a slumped seat. It was an unpleasant landing to be sure, one that earned the Innovator her first sympathetic reaction in months, as the FAWNatics couldn’t help but groan when they saw her the whole upper half of her face painted with the proverbial ‘Crimson Mask’. Castle went to check on her at once but never got the words out because Maddy stepped in his way and hauled the bloodied blonde to her feet. “Sorry Nick.” Crane slipped an arm through Jacobs’s legs and hupped her onto one shoulder for what could’ve been any number of things. “Our last match ended with a stoppage. I’m not going to let that happen twice.”
Turning away before he could protest too loudly, Mads hooked her hands around Jenny’s biceps and boosted her up so she was in a sort of front-facing Crucifix lift. With steel available on all four sides, Maddy didn’t have to turn any particular direction, but she still made sure they were both facing the hard camera when she broke into a shambling run and hurled Jacobs off her shoulders like she was FAWN’s largest lawn dart! There was a cringe-inducing BWAAAANG followed by a moan from the crowd, as several disenchanted Jacobites found a measure of sympathy in their hearts for their former heroine.
Maddy Crane was not among them.
In fact she’d expected Jacobs to go down in a heap after the headfirst collision and when the former World Champ somehow landed on her feet, it sent her opponent racing to the other side of the ring. Moving faster than she had any right to following all the punishment she’d absorbed, Maddy waited until Jenny started to turn around, then hopped up and lashed out with her right foot! THWHACK! No Crane pose for All Hallows Evil, but Maddy’s signature kick still had more than enough power to turn Jenny inside out before she hit the mat. Crumpling to her knees beside the annihilated blonde, the Smiling Knight shoved Jenny onto her back and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOOO!
“FAAAAAAAAAAAAHK!” Maddy wailed like a crippled banshee as the defiant Innovator somehow found the energy to buck her off. That was all though. Jenny was part of the match as far as the rules were concerned, but she still looked like someone who’d been thrown from a car accident and Castle would’ve called the match then and there if the crippled Californian hadn’t waved him off when he tried to check on her.
Maddy didn’t even see this exchange, she was too busy tugging at her hair to regain control over her rampaging emotions. It wasn’t easy, but ultimately she succeeded long enough to pull the penitent blonde into a Standing Headscissors. Then she cinched her arms around Jenny’s waist, muscled her upside down and dropped to her butt, THWHONKING that pulverized noggin against the thinly-sheathed plywood. Jenny jolted hard and should’ve bounced away, but Crane held onto the Waistlock and rolled onto her knees to bring both women back to their feet. A second Piledriver followed, this one more emphatic than the first because Maddy hopped before landing on her tush.
THIRD DEGREE (Piledrivers only): www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E0dmMIZnkI
The sold out crowd expected her to roll through again and they weren’t disappointed, only this time Crane didn’t go with a simple head-drop. Rather she slipped her hands under Jenny’s biceps and locked her hands in a Double Underhook. From there she muscled her off the mat and drew her in close enough to slip Jacobs’s legs around her midsection. There was so much Mads wanted to say right then, to the crowd, to Nick, even to Jenny, but words failed her and just this once the Princess offered no Punchline as she tossed Jenny out in front and jerked up on her left arm, a jolt that sent the black-clad battler into a twirling cyclone. Sitting out along with her defiant archrival, Maddy found the energy to smile when Jenny THWHAMMED into the canvas. Maddy slid around ninety degrees, shot the Half Nelson and rolled Jacobs onto her back. Then she slid into an exhausted Crossbody while Nick Castle dropped to his knees and the Basement Dwellers leapt to their feet.
PLAN M FROM OUTER SPACE: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVLq6VedHco
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Rolling onto her back as soon as the bell sounded, the Sultana of Slapstick barely found the energy to raise a hand when the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… MADDY CRANE!”
After several more seconds she made it to one knee and extended a hand to Nick, but when someone pulled her up she found herself greeted by the worried face of Al Carpenter. “I’m sorry, Al.” Maddy blurted out, surprise forcing the reaction out before she could offer something more measured. “I didn’t want it to go like this, but I… I had to… I couldn’t lose to her again.”
Al started to say something, then stopped when a pair of EMT’s bustled through the cage door to check on his girlfriend. “I know, Maddy. You don’t have anything to apologize for, as far as I’m concerned. But she’s still the love of my life, so I hope you’ll understand why I don’t raise your hand.”
“I’ll do it.” Nick stepped up and put a hand on your shoulder. “They brought her around, Al. Go check on her, this is my match after all.” Carpenter murmured thanks and went to check on Jenny while Nick took Jenny by the wrist and raised her hand. “Good work, Mads.” the ref said afterward. “Some of your best yet.”
“Then why do I feel like such a shyt?”
“Because you’re a good person.” Nick answered without hesitation. “And good people feel bad when they--”
A relieved cheer went up and they both turned to look as Al and one of the EMT’s helped Jenny to her feet. They’d toweled off the worst of the blood, but Jacobs still looked like death warmed over and Maddy couldn’t help but cringe when she saw the cut on her foe’s forehead. Al and the medic went to lead Jenny to the cage door only to stop when Crane stepped in their way.
Locking eyes with the blonde for the first time in what felt like ages, Maddy swallowed the lump in her throat and extended a hand. “Truce.” she croaked. “We need a truce, Jenny.”
Jacobs looked from the redhead to the peace offering and back again, her weary eyes betraying no particular emotion. The lack of reaction lashed at Crane’s heart and she took a step forward. “Shake my hand, Jenny! I’m offering you a goddamned olive branch, all you have to do is SHAKE. MY. HAND.”
Jenny shrugged loose of the EMT, reached for Maddy’s hand, then raised it up and flipped a bird less than two inches from the redhead’s nose. “F*ck you, Maddy.” she whispered. “Beat me a hundred times, I still won’t like you. Beat me a thousand times, I still won’t respect you. Now get the hell out of my way.”
It took the last bit of Maddy’s reserves to not burst into tears when she stepped aside to let the defeated Innovator limp out of the cage. Al caught her eye as he passed and mouthed, “Sorry Mads.” Crane closed her eyes, told herself it was just sweat trickling down her cheeks.
“Don’t feel bad, Maddy.” Nick said once the blonde and her worried attendants were out of earshot. “Tonight’s the night you finally made it.”
Crane scraped a forearm across her face before looking at the referee. “I don’t follow, Nick. Sure doesn’t feel I’ve made anything.”
“There’s an old saying in this business. You know you’ve made it when your idols become your rivals.”
“I just wanted a handshake, Nick. I would’ve forgiven everything if she’d just shook my hand.”
“She will. One day.” the ref replied. “And even if she doesn’t, I can think of several thousand others happy to do it for her.”
Maddy looked around and finally realized the crowd was still on their feet, showering the ring with raucous applause. Finally breaking into that trademark smile, Crane smacked Castle on the shoulder and said, “Excuse me, stripes. I gotta go greet my adoring public.”
Nick stepped aside, allowing Maddy to leave the ring for the single most vindicating victory lap of her career. It wasn’t the handshake she’d wanted, but it was a helluva good alternative.