Post by hawkeye on Aug 8, 2022 23:40:54 GMT
With the matches dwindling to the most important, the FAWNatics murmurs rose, the crowd wondering in unison who could give Cosmic Noir a run for their money. The dominant champions were running the tag division with a sturdy grip on the wheel, having cleared out so many competitors, a team might have to be offered a second chance to bring down the title holders.
The Ring Announcer broke the din.
“At this time will you please welcome... Rachelle Leah.”
The prodigal Step-MILF emerged from stage left, some in the startled crowd recovering enough to jeer, but most proved both curious and enthusiastic.
RACHELLE LEAH:
The drop-dead fortysomething blonde wore a curve-hugging, sleek black minidress, and absently passed a microphone back and forth between her hands until the boos lessened slightly. Once they finally do, Rachelle brought the mic to her lips.
“We’re baaaack,” the blonde bellowed.
The response from the FAWNatics was surprisingly mixed.
“The girls and I have watched as a clearly inferior team has run roughshod," Leah pronounced. “And it made us feel ill to see what this organization’s tag division has become.”
The crowd began to remember why they disliked the ‘California Karen’ and her stepdaughters, the mixed feelings turning decidedly negative.
“Shut your damn mouths! I’ve got the mic!”
The words don’t help with the crowd’s demeanor, the throng chanting “YOU…SUCK”.
“I’ll tell you who sucks. The midget and make-believe Al Capone. Let me show you what real tag champions look like. Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from Hidden Hills, California... Weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds of the sexiest carnage you can possibly imagine... My pride and joy, the incomparable... the INVINCIBLE…AND YOUR SOON TO BE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... Alyson and Beverly... THE VALLEY GIRLS!”
FAWN Arena’s speakers came to life with the pulsing beat of Pink’s “Trouble.” The identical icons and one-time FAWN tag team champions joined their manager/Mom, sharing the FAWN spotlight for the first time in years.
ALYSON VALLEY:
BEVERLY VALLEY:
TROUBLE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFu3YzRnyDU
Even with the time away, the trio’s exploits were enough to earn them a copious amount of hate between the shameless gawking of the blonde beauties.
The twins bracketed their manager in mirror images, the grapplers identical down to their sartorial choices for the evening: classic white fightin’ two-pieces with sequined trim, the tops adorned with the bedazzled script “Totally” and the tushes the word “Bytchin’!”
The Valleys headed for their homecoming battle, striding the ramp and aisle as if they’ve never left. Rachelle Leah overtook her stepdaughters once they reached ringside, ascending the steel steps while Aly and Bev jawed with a handful of fans at the ring’s edge.
Once on the apron, Rachelle took a seat on the middle rope, holding the cables open for the flaxen-haired siblings to slide through. One twin—Aly or Bev? Who could tell—stretched and warmed up, while the other absently pranced and preened before moving behind her sister to massage her partner’s shoulders.
Rachelle Leah joined them in the squared circle and guided them to the center, putting an arm around the shoulders of each until the catcalls dropped to a level she could overcome. The manager turned to the upper stage.
“My ‘Girls’ had their fun away from you losers, but there’s no better feeling than being FAWN Tag Team champs. So come on out ladies and take your beatings like big girls.”
The FAWNatics were still booing their hearts out over this most unexpected (and equally unwelcome) return when the Announcer did his best to change their mood. “And introducing their opponents! Hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively and weighing in at combined total of two hundred and forty-four pounds. They are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are the FAWN Tag Team Champions… COSMIC NOIR!”
The low red glare of the Star Strider's entrance was augmented by a gout of flame sparking from the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. All at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of 'Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and those gathered for Red, White & Bruised turned their attention to the brightest constellation in the Tag Team Galaxy.
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
“Twins again?” Lily groaned as she stepped into place beside the big, blonde Destroyer. “And they brought their overbearing step-mother with them? Not cool, Bethany. Not cool.”
“We shut down the Halfmoons, we'll do the same to the Valleys.” Treymane assured her partner. “And if Rachelle sticks her nose in our business...”
“Boom?”
“Hell yeah, boom.”
Plan made, the Maroon Meteor raised an invisible detonator overhead, then brought her thumb down to get an earth-shattering ‘KA-BOOM!’ from the FAWNatics and an explosive line of pyro from Veronica’s barking iron. When it fell silent Treymane and Burlingame blew smoke off the barrel, then started toward the ring with the Roseate Rocket a few steps ahead.
For tonight's battle with the duo of duplicitous doppelgangers, Lily wore her usual midnight blue and starry white halter and bottoms, galaxies swirling and shimmering with her every move. Her knee pads were white on one side and purple on the other, matching her togs perfectly. Behind her, the Gorgeous Gangster wore matching togs, the dark blue replacing charcoal gray in her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt gleamed bright white, as did her pads and wrist-tape, while her boots were a highly-polished black.
They were about halfway to the squared circle when Burlingame raised her right hand and started a silent countdown.
Three.
Two.
One.
Blastoff!
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to leap onto the apron in a single bound. From there she raced along the narrow ledge to the far corner, the top of which she reached just as easily. This display of effortless acrobatics was capped off with a soaring and undeniably gorgeous back-flip which landed her perfectly within the confines of the squared circle. A couple heartbeats passed and Veronica slid in behind her, the Dangerous Dame having doffed her coat and Thompson once the countdown began.
The champs were in the midst of handing over their golden hardware to Al Carpenter when Alyson and Beverly exploded out of their corner and took to the skies for a stereo Dropkick that THUMPED four fearsome feet between the shoulders of 'Ronnie Treymane!
“HEY!” Lily tossed her belt aside without another moment's thought and laid into the nearest Valley sister as she scrambled up from the sneak attack that'd put the Dangerous Dame on the deck! Burlingame landed a couple clubbing overhand shots and a few more quick Forearm Smashes to the jaw, but the odds went out of her favor only moments later when the other twin rushed in from behind and raaaaaaaaaaked the heiress from shoulders to buttocks!
“What kinda cheap game are you playing, huh?” the late-arriving sister sneered as she caught Burlingame in a snug Full Nelson. “It's high time someone taught you two idiots what it means to fight like REAL champions!”
“Oh, kiss my assSOOOFFFHH!” Lily's rebuttal came to an abrupt end when her original target hunched forward and drove a single Kneelift into the pit of her stomach!
“You're gonna do more than kiss ass tonight.” the blonde giggled to her gasping adversary. “You're gonna kiss those titles goodbye AND scream yourself hoarse in the process!” Just like that she clamped her claws down on Lily's chest and twisted this way and that!
Elsewhere, Carpenter scooped up the abandoned gold and hurriedly tossed it to a ringside tech before throwing a signal to the Timekeeper. “All right, break it up! Break it up!” he shouted over the CLANG of the bell. “I mean it Valleys, knock that shit off or--”
“Girls, you've got bigger problems.” Rachelle noted from her spot on the challenger's side of the ring.”
Alyson and Beverly immediately tossed Lily aside and turned their focus to Veronica, who'd just made it to her feet. Breaking apart so one could get draw the Destroyer's attention while the other swooped around on her six, the former unleashed a quick Super Kick while the latter went low and lashed out a scythe-like Sweep! Each struck their targets, chin and ankles respectively, and Treymane went down in a heap, the former World Champion landing hard on the back of her head and shoulders! With Carpenter still yelling and Treymane Totally Eliminated, the Valleys suddenly rediscovered their love of law and order as one raised her hands and scurried toward their corner while the other dropped down on Treymane's chest in a miniature Splash and hooked the far leg for...
ONE...
TWO...
“NNNNGGHHH!”
Lily made the brat pay with a Dropkick delivered broadside that smashed into the Californian's ribs! “Get her out of there!” Rachelle barked to the official. “She's not the legal member of her team!”
“Shut it, 'copter mom!” Lily snapped as she helped herself to a double handful of blonde hair. “Your brats didn't even let us make a choiHHRRGGHH!”
The as of yet unidentified Valley (it was actually Beverly) jabbed a quick Back Elbow into the brunette's mouth, snapping her head back! “Oh, so you want to take all the punishment, do ya, bitch?” Bev snatched a handful of hair and slapped Lily's face a few more times for good measure. “We can do that, no problem!”
Switching over to a Wristlock before the woozy champ had a chance to retaliate, Valley stepped backward, dropped a hip and sent Burlingame hurtling into the challenger's corner with an Irish Whip. Alyson raised a hand to confirm she was holding onto the tag rope like a law-abiding citizen should, though there was no denying the venomous smirk on her face when her twin rushed in and CRUSHED Lily's sternum with a massive Clothesline!
“Did I ACTUALLY hear you sassing off to Rachelle a moment ago?” Bev taunted the gasping grappler. “I must've been mistaken because if you did I'd have to do THIS!” Valley resumed the previous clawing with eye-watering interest, the sneering blonde just gouging and kneading at the smaller wrestler's curves.
This rough treatment was only a few seconds old when Al Carpenter strode up and ordered, “Get her out of the corner, now!”
“Oh c'mon, dork! I'm just showing her what happens to cheaters who break up pins!”
“I'm warning you both! Get her out of there--”
“Oh all right, all right!” Beverly threw up her hands and stomped away from the buckles, albeit without taking Burlingame along for the ride. “Jesus, Al. When did you become such a buzzkill?”
“Cut it out. You two started this crap even before the bell sounded!”
“They were taunting us! Brazenly! Just holding the gold up in our faces, how were we supposed to respond to that?”
“I don't know, how about like mature adul--”
Resounding jeers drew Carpenter's gaze back to the challenger's side of town where he got the briefest glimpse of the other Valley twin pulling the tag rope away from the throat of a suddenly red-faced Lily Burlingame. “One more time, Rachelle!” the zebra warned their manager, rather than the Twins themselves. “Get your girls in line or I'll call for the bell right WHOAH!” Al juked to one side to avoid Beverly as she rushed by on her way to the corner and THWHUMPED her buns into Lily's belly for a nauseating Hip Check!
“PATHETIC!” Valley called to the FAWNatics as flicked her bottoms snug against her glutes while strutting back to the middle of the squared circle. “This is what passes for a champion these days? You losers need us more than I realizNNNNGGGGGGGGHH!”
A bit too caught up in her shabby treatment of the Star Strider, Beverly had forgotten about the Pinstripe Powerhouse and oh did she pay for it when Treymane exploded to verticality and smashed a Clothesline across the challenger's chest!
“HEY!” Alyson called in alarm as she watched her twin mowed down in a single stroke. “Get her out of the ring, she's not legal!”
“Is that so?” Carpenter asked the blonde. “Because I'm pretty sure your sister tried to pin her a minute ago.”
“Heat of battle mistake!” Alyson sniped. “It's not our fault you can't do your joBRRGH!”
Lily caught Alyson in the chin with a Back Elbow that forced the challenger to snag onto the top rope so she didn't tumble to the floor. Alas, her efforts came to naught when the Crimson Comet turned around, hopped onto the middle rope, then bounced up and THWHACKED an Enzugiri against the side of the blonde's noggin! Valley lost her grip and dropped from the apron, though she did manage to land on her feet. This didn't bother Burlingame in the slightest, indeed she was all smiles when she took hold of the rubber-coated steel and vaulted into the void, Lily throwing herself into a quick little corkscrew before she came crashing down atop the Californian!
SLINGSHOT PLANCHA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjrfiJ5BDUg
The Slingshot Plancha knocked Alyson to the ground while Burlingame tumbled away and popped to boot-leather, the former Lightweight Champion pumping a fist to the sold-out crowd.
“Watch yourself you slippery little brat.”
Lily spun around and skipped backward to put some distance between herself and Rachelle Leigh, who'd closed in on the action once she saw her step-daughter hit the floor. “I think I'd rather keep an eye on you, ma'am.” Burlingame chided. “You though, you might want to keep an eye on the ring.”
Rachelle flicked her eyes toward the ring, cursed, then lunged over and pounded her palms against the apron. “Watch out, Beverly!” she shouted. “Don't let that idiot get her hands on--”
Treymane already had her hands on Valley, her hair specifically, and she used this grip to haul the stunned blonde upright. Soon as that was done 'Ronnie let loose, crouched down and looped her arms around Beverly's waist to boost her into the air with a convulsive Bear Hug.
BEAR HUG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpEHjTH4BzQ
“AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!” Bev groaned in breathless distress, her hands reaching out for the ropes before she went to work clawing and raking the bigger blonde's back. “Leggo of me you meathead!” Valley demanded to the Dangerous Dame. “Don't make me shred you to HHHRRRRRHHH!”
Veronica squeezed even harder, jounced in place a few times, then shook her burden back 'n forth like a terrier shaking a rat! “You want me to let go, Daisy?” Veronica huffed as she scraped her knotted hands against the challenger's lower back. “Tap out and I might consider itooooowwwwwww... is that how we're gonna play this?”
More than willing to do whatever necessary to escape this painful predicament, Beverly reached down Treymane's back, grabbed hold of her waistband and pulled those pinstripe togs quite a bit higher with a nasty wedgie! Valley had hoped the catty tactic would secure her release, but the lummox refused to let go so she kept right on tugging and sawing. “Hope you like thongs, idiot.”she growled. “Because this one's going over your head before you know NNNGGGGHHH!”
Veronica went up on tiptoe, then sank to one knee to THUMP the challenger's groin with a quick and dirty Inverted Atomic Drop! This removed Valley's mitts from her trunks so the Magnificent Moll straightened up with the Bear Hug still in place, but rather than remain in the middle of the ring, she turned toward Noir's corner and took off at a dead sprint! Beverly knew it wouldn't be pleasant, unfortunately it proved even worse than expected when Veronica lowered a shoulder and BWUUUUNGED her spine-first into the turnbuckles!
“Hey, fancy meeting you here!” Treymane said to Lily Burlingame moments after the Crimson Comet hopped onto the apron. “Want your turn with this little sneak?”
“Absolutely. Set her up for me, would'ja?”
“Of course.”
Cosmic Noir made the tag and Burlingame skipped over the ropes while Treymane pulled Beverly out of the corner and reeled her into a Standing Headscissors. From there she muscled the smaller blonde onto her shoulders for a Powerbomb stall, then turned so she was pointed toward a neutral set of ropes. That was all Lily needed to take off running, the Girl That Gravity Forgot 'twanging' offa the strands to speed back and hop up onto her own partner! Feet planted against the planes of the Destroyer's thighs, Burlingame slapped a Waistlock on Beverly and bridged backward to THAWHAM Valley to the canvas with a cleverly delivered Release German Suplex! The landing left Beverly folded up in a Matchbook so Lily Splashed down across her upturned calves to keep the duplicitous challenger in place for the...
ONE…
TWO…
Alyson broke the count mostly by happenstance, Rachelle plucking her stepdaughter off the arena floor, then flinging the blonde under the ropes, breaking up her sister’s pin by proxy.
With Aly and Bev both in significant disrepair and the long and short of Cosmic Noir attentive to the allowance of shenanigans thus far, the champs each scraped their battered challenger to respective feet.
Lily and 'Ronnie took turns heaving the Valleys to the far ropes, Burlingame sending Bev a tick earlier to account for the extra speed with which Treymane delivered Alyson on her way.
Charging as the sapphire-eyed Valley Girls rebounded toward them, Lily leapt into a picture-perfect Dropkick of Beverly’s jaw while Veronica PLOWED into Alyson’s chin with a Big Boot that nearly removed the challenger’s head from her shoulders.
Both of Rachelle’s girls ended up splayed in identical spreadeagles. They stared blankly at the rafters as the FAWNatics raised the roof! The champs gather next to Aly, one on each side and leapt into the air above, double-Splashing whatever fight’s left out of the nearest twin.
Aly spasmed under the weight of each member of Cosmic Noir, while the blonde Destroyer and dark-haired Star Strider glancd at Carpenter. He shook his head.
“Sorry, ladies. One at a time. AND. That’s the wrong one.”
Lily and 'Ronnie nodded as they pushed to their feet and moved to the softly stirring Beverly. Each took a spot on either side of Bev. They reached across, clasped hands, then dropped to deliver simultaneous Elbow Drops to the contender, sending the crowd into a deja-vous as it’s Beverly’s turn to jerk spasmodically from a double team.
Al motioned Veronica to exit the ring so he could count for the covering Lily, but Treymane took a detour, snatching Aly off the canvas. She bum-rushed the blonde toward her stepmom, brusquely tossing the Beverly Hills brat over. Rachelle barely leapt out of the way of her careening stepdaughter.
Inside, the delayed count started for the Roseate Rocket’s pin when 'Ronnie slid through the ropes, Burlingame claiming the victory with the…
ONE…
TWO…
Beverly shifted a shoulder off the canvas, a tick away from an ignominious FAWN homecoming. She rolled to her side and reached vainly for her corner. There’s no help coming anytime soon, Rachelle tending to the depleted Alyson on the floor.
Lily ‘helped’ Bev to her knees then retreated to the ropes, rebounded and indulged herself with a knee to the chin of the faltering challenger. Burlingame tugged the dazed Valley to her feet and aimed the golden-maned twin at the far buckles before sending her galloping into a back-first collision with the buckles.
The former Cherry Bomb followed behind but not in ordinary fashion, the Crimson Comet showing her stuff with a devastating Cartwheel Pele Kick to her foe’s cranium.
CARTWHEEL KICK @ 1:17
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrZTCaw8iSI
After impact, Beverly ended on her knees and forehead in a precarious three-point ‘stance’. Lily slipped behind the penitent and ‘bowing’ Bev. She tempted fate by climbing the Valley corner and reaching the top as the twin inside the ring started to rise.
A late-arriving Alyson took a swing at Burlingame’s ankles from the outside, but the champ launched in time, pulling her abbreviated stems into a cannonball position and blasting against Beverly’s backbone as she landed across the blonde’s spine in a tight tuck that PLANTED Valley face-first against the canvas.
Lily tugged the insensate twin to her back and settled across her foe’s frame in a tight Lateral Press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
This time Alyson broke up what likely would’ve been the end of the challengers by her own design, grabbing the former Bomb’s left leg and yanking Lily off her sister then out of the ring under the bottom rope.
As Lily landed on her boot leather, punch poised to clock Alyson, Burlingame failed to account for the cougar at her six, Rachelle leaping into a nasty clip behind the knees of the Roseate Rocket.
A frustrated Al considered his alternatives. He moved to the ropes, hanging over the rubber-coated steel, then swung his right arm toward the upper stage, index finger pointing the way for Rachelle Leah.
“You’re outta here!” he shouted over the roar of the crowd.
The stepmom/manager of the Valleys screamed in protest, pulling at her perfectly coiffed mane.
“You can’t…”
“I can!” Al interrupted. “And if you don’t get your ass in gear, your Girls are going with you.”
Spitting fire, Rachelle turned and stomped her way to the back. However, the attack that got her tossed was already paying dividends. Alyson had Lily by a wrist and shoulder and heaved her down the length of the ring, Burlingame burying her right shoulder against the steel steps at a breakneck pace.
The ‘CLANG’ of metal on bone proved quite disconcerting as was Lily's howling, Burlingame cradling her right arm close. Veronica arrived in time to stop Aly from adding to the trouble of the Crimson Comet, Valley backing off with her hands raised plaintively as a fuming Treymane threatened the smaller blonde.
Unfortunately for the Dangerous Dame, a recovering Beverly was up and racing to her sister’s rescue. Bev dove between the top and middle cables and caught an oblivious Ronnie clean with the Suicide Dive. She NAILED the Gorgeous Gangster at full speed and flush. Veronica hurtled into the steel barricade behind her, her vertebrae CRASHING into the metal divider. 'Ronnie slumped to a jumbled, wincing pile.
Looking on from the upper stage, Rachelle gave her Girls a fist pump before heading backstage. The beaming Valleys hovered over both sets of wreckage, the crowd silenced by the sight of Twin Magic, Bev and Aly turning their beatdown into a golden opportunity at grabbing the tag division like matching Louis Vuitton bags.
Together, each snatched a wrist and hauled the dilapidated Lily to boot soles. The Valley Girls heaved Burlingame back in the ring under the bottom rope. Despite Al’s demand only one follow the brunette in, each Valley entered and they collected the grounded Comet.
Pulling Lily’s lowered head into dual Front Facelocks, the natural-born clones laid out in perfect unison and SPIKED Lily’s skull into the thinly-sheathed plywood, Burlingame arranged in a sickening headstand for a split-second before tumbling over to her back.
One of the twins, Al thought it Aly, scrambled to the comatose Comet, diving across her in a pin.
Unsure if the right twin was covering, Carpenter hesitated for a second then dropped to slap out the…
ONE…
TWO…
NO!
Burlingame showed her mettle and her own bloodline, kicking out, perhaps on instinct alone.
As Carpenter ushered a twin, we’ll say Beverly, to her station, Alyson mounted Lily in a kneeling straddle of her foe’s waist and pounded forearms into her bruised cheeks and temples, Burlingame’s head sent on swivel after swivel from the unrelenting assault.
Finally yielding to exhaustion, Alyson pushed to her feet, moved to the Valley corner and tagged her twin. But instead of immediately entering, Beverly headed for the penthouse, climbing to the top buckle alongside her genetic counterpart.
The Valleys, shoulder to shoulder, leapt from their precarious perch toward the splayed Lily and BURIED Burlingame under their infamous Tidal Wave Splash/Leg Drop double-team combo.
TIDAL WAVE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=er6C6-l0lec
A demolished ‘Bomb’ settled in a breathless stupor as a groaning Aly rolled out of the ring, swaddling her own aching ribs from the Splash side of the Wave. Beverly rubbed her tailbone but quickly dropped across the wrecked champion for the inevitable…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Veronica arrived with no time to spare, diving into the ring and shoving Beverly off her partner to save the titleholders’ reigns, for the moment.
“CHEATER!” Valley pounded the mat in a fury as she scrambled up from the aftermath of Treymane's last second Shoulderblock. “Get out of the ring before I rip you apart!”
Veronica was already headed to the champ's corner at Al's insistence, but she stopped at the sound of Beverly's threat. A glare in the blonde's direction produced immediate silence so 'Ronnie turned around and-- “HHHRRRGGHH!”
Bev ran after her, snatched a huge handful of hair and charged the started Destroyer into the Noir corner to BWUNG! her face against the top turnbuckle!
“What did I say about respect?” Valley snarled down at Treymane as she mounted the second rope to keep the big blonde wedged against the buckles. “What did I say, huh bitch? What did I say?”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse's response was something less than grovelling apology, so Beverly doubled down on the hair-hold and proceeded to DRIVE her opponent's face into the canvas-covered steel over and over again! The FAWNatics hated every bit of it, yet tradition was a hard thing to break and they found themselves counting along, not with Al's aggravated warning, but a different tally entirely. 'TWO...THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE...'
Beverly took a moment to fluff her own locks, then snatched an even greedier handful of Treymane's flaxen tousle and delivered a thunderous 'TEN!'
In the midst of this barbarous buckle bludgeoning, Alyson Valley noted two things simultaneously. First, that obnoxious firecracker was recovering far quicker than she liked. Two, Al Carpenter was completely distracted by Beverly's justified punishment of the lumbering hat rack that was Veronica Treymane. Making no effort to keep the smirk off her face, Aly crept through the ropes and rushed over to Burlingame just as the heiress was reaching all fours. Catching a Front Facelock neat as you please, Alyson pulled Lily upright, then slung the champ's near arm across her shoulders. What looked like a Vertical Suplex ended up hitting with much more impact when Valley abruptly twisted under her opponent and laid out on her back to THWHUMP Burlingame down on the base of her head and shoulders with a gorgeous Snap Neckbreaker.
SNAP SWINGING NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYmhWpkJ8QQ
Those fans not enamored with the mugging in the corner saw this offense in full and jeered accordingly, alas Alyson had timed her atrocity to coincide with the last of Beverly's beatdown and it went quite unnoticed by the earnest, albeit oblivious official.
“Don't bother bundling that trash out of the ring just yet!” Bev chided Carpenter once she finally hopped down from her corner. “I don't want her distracting you from our impending victory!”
The briefest of glances toward the far corner told Bev that Aly had lent a hand with the Burlingame runt and while she was appreciative she had just enough, if not respect, than at least understanding for the dork's tenacity that she didn't consider just trying for a cover. Instead she helped herself to Burlingame's hair, hauled her to verticality and promptly doubled her over with a Kneelift to the pit of her stomach. From there she turned around and ran the ropes, Valley building an impressive head of steam by the time she came back and drove the point of her left knee into the side of Lily's skull with an ugly THWHUNK!
KNEE TREMBLER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrCPnchcex8
The Knee Trembler put Burlingame on the deck in a facedown heap, so Beverly shoveled her onto her back and dropped into a Back Press, the challenger making sure to point the loser's ass into the lights as Carpenter ushered out the reign of Cosmic Noir with a...
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOO!
Lily kicked out with half a second to spare, much to the delight of everyone save Alyson and Beverly Valley! “Oh, so you're a tuff bitch, are you?” Bev glowered even as she took hold of the brunette's shoulder-straps and started to rise “Seems to me you think you're Sue's twin and not the knock-off travel sized model that no one's really interested inNGH! NGH! NGH!”
Lily put an end to that rudeness with several quick punches to the Californian's belly, alas Valley had another insult at the ready, namely a single quick Headbutt delivered to the center of her back! “Yeah, two Rainmakers MIGHT have a shot against us.” Beverly kept sniping as she headed for the challenger's corner. “But pint-sized Ace and her dopey time-traveling nerd friend? No chance, loser!”
“Thuuuuuhhhh... that's what you think, sweetie.” Lily huffed. “You're not the first set of evil twins we've taken down, the last set didn't even have to bring their mommy to ringside with NNNGGGHHHH!”
Beverly put some more hard miles on the heiress' back with a few overhand Forearm Smashes, then bent down, hooked onto the champ's feet and swept them out from underneath with a Double Leg Takedown. “Bitch is STILL running her mouth.” Bev sounded incredulous as she freed one hand to tag Aly into the match. “Guess she doesn't know what we do to bitches who can't shut up.”
Alyson giggled as she slipped through the ropes. “That's gonna change right now, sis.”
Beverly stuffed Lily's legs under her armpits, then rolled the Star Strider onto her belly so she could step over and sit down in a DEEP Boston Crab that did nothing for Burlingame's already aching spine. Her situation grew all the more untenable when Alyson settled down from the other direction, the fresh Valley Twin glomming onto Lily's biceps so she could strap her arms across the blonde's thighs and secure the Chinlock immediately thereafter.
Boston Crab & Camel Clutch, the Uncanny Valley Twins to Lily Burlingame.
“AAAAAAAA FAAAAAAAAHHHHK!” Lily shrieked to high heaven as the blondes tried to bend her into an 'O'.
“TAP OUT!” the Twins demanded over their hapless opposition repeatedly, yet Burlingame continued to hold on to the point that the official began a count to end the double team.
“ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
“What? What's that bullshit?” Beverly snarled as she scrambled to her feet. “Where's my warning?”
“Back in the other corner, where you last ignored it.” the zebra countered. “Get out of the ring, now!”
“Yeah, go to the corner, Bev!” Alyson seconded as she relinquished the Camel Clutch. “That way he can't complain when we make a perfectly legal tag!”
That sounded just fine to Beverly, so she flipped Al the bird before flouncing through the strands to take possession of the tag rope.
Batting her eyes to the official as she made her way into position, Aly clapped Bev back into the fray and said, “Go up top, I'll get shorty ready for you.” Beverly did as bade, leaving Alyson to stomp back to Lily, who was still kissing the canvas. “Know what'll get those knots out, bitch? A little stretching! Here, let me help.”
A few kicks put Burlingame on her back, which in turn allowed Valley to plant a foot on either side of the brunette's waist. Then she bent forward, took hold of Lily's ankles and pulled her legs up and back in a wide 'V' that earned a concerned murmur from those in attendance. Beverly however looked anything but concerned, indeed she was grinning from ear to ear as she stood up in the high rent district and leapt out into the void, the cruel California cutie dropping headfirst into a fight ending Muff Di-NOOOO!
Lily suddenly grabbed hold of Alyson's ankles and kicked forward as hard as she could! The unexpected jolt reversed their positions, leaving Burlingame vertical and in control of Valley's freshly-splayed pins half a heartbeat before Beverly THWHAMMED the Diving Headbutt into her crotch!
“FUCK!” Bev bellowed in rage as she scrambled to her feet while poor Alyson curled up in a nauseated ball at her feet. As for Lily, she was upright but exceedingly wobbly, indeed the Maroon Meteor chose to backpedal rather than press the offensive and her departure did not go unnoticed by the incensed Beverly. “Where do you think you're going, shrimp? Did I say you could leave?”
Lily raised a hand to beckon and flipped the blonde off instead. “You want me, bimbo? Come and get--”
Valley did just that, springing over her prone twin to smash Burlingame's retreat with a Lari-- Lily dropped back into a gorgeous bridge, then pushed herself right back up and spun around to meet the blonde's second charge with a Back Kick that skewered her tummy!
Bev grunted and doubled over, giving the Crimson Comet the perfect opportunity to secure a Gutwrench around that roiling midsection. Just like that she dipped her knees and muscled Valley up and over, but rather than drop backward to complete the Suplex she halved her grip and hooked onto the challenger's left leg instead, thus ensuring it was cradled nice and tight when Burlingame dropped to her butt and PLANTED Beverly high and tight on the back of her head and shoulders! Matchbooked into oblivion that Lily would soon dub the Faster than Light Driver, Valley could only twitch and squirm when Al swooped in to count off the...
FASTER THAN LIGHT DRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl2qs5k5Cn4
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Beverly slipped out and onto her stomach to keep the Twin Tyrants in the match by the slimmest of margins!
Over in the Cosmic Noir corner, Veronica Treymane held up the tag rope in one hand and swatted the top turnbuckle with the other. “C'mon Lil, bring that brat over here!”
Burlingame sank a set of digits into Valley’s bright blonde locks and pulled Beverly to her feet. She tossed the challenger several feet to the Cosmic Noir corner then scooted backward and tumbled through a short run showing off her gymnastic bona fides, ending with a springing Back Elbow to the chops, rocking Bev. As Lily leaned her back into the chest of her foe to keep Valley in place, Veronica reached over the twin’s shoulder to slap Burlingame’s so she could slide through the ropes with no hassle from Carpenter.
But instead of taking control of Beverly from her partner, Treymane trudged to the kneeling Alyson, teary-eyed from the Dive receipt. 'Ronnie hauled a compliant Alyson to her feet by a wrist and shoulder and aimed the challenger at her partner, heaving Aly with an Irish Whip that sent Valley hurtling toward the Crimson Comet with everyone in the house knowing Lily would step out of the way and the twins will meet in a splashing sandwich of Valley velocity.
But as Burlingame tried to step aside, Bev looped her arms around Lily’s elbows and the Star Strider went bug-eyed as she’s body blasted by Alyson in the center of a Valley Sandwich.
None of the three women involved in the pile-up were a hundred percent after, Aly backpedaling from the impact before collapsing to her vertebrae in the middle of the ring. A blasted Burlingame staggered a few steps before taking a header RIGHT INTO ALYSON’S KITTY!
Poor Aly sat stark upright after a deja-vous destruction to her privates, Valley’s jaw dropping, her crystal blue eyes welling to overflowing as her hands scrabbled to get around Lily's forehead.
In the corner, a crushed Beverly drops to her backside, legs extended, head drooping as she’s in a daze from being at the bottom of the stack.
Only a sheepish 'Ronnie remained upright. She detoured around the TV-14 positioned grapplers mid-ring, leaving them for Al to clean-up. Treymane leapt into a Running Hip Check of the seated Bev, ROCKING Valley to the core, the blonde’s head whiplashing from the impact, leaving Valley adjacent to Dream Street.
The Destroyer-Class champion hauled the ragdolled Valley to her feet, scooping under the Cali girl’s thighs and placing Bev in a slumping seat atop the uppermost buckle. Climbing to the middle ropes, Ronnie forced her foe to stand then swept an arm between the quivering, ivory thighs of her adversary.
Showing the strength no one else in the match could match, the Gorgeous Gangster ‘hupped’ Beverly across her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry, the crowd ‘oohing’ with excitement.
Lily, having rolled clear of the drop zone and leaning heavily against distant ropes, watched wearily but intently as her partner took what’s left of Beverly with a ring-rattling Avalanche Samoan Drop.
AVALANCHE SAMOAN DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwFv7ScHKL8
Veronica finished in a Back Press atop the demolished Valley, hooking a leg for good measure for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Ignoring her pulsating privates as best she could, Alyson dove atop the heap, nudging 'Ronnie enough for Carpenter to call it a broken pin and thus kept the Twins’ triumphant return to their stomping grounds possible.
An exasperated Magnificent Moll sat next to the splayed Beverly, Aly essentially pinning her sister, as she laid atop her natural clone, perpendicular, chest to chest.
“You don’t get it,” Ronnie growls. “We’re generational talents alone and as a team. Your claim to fame is your mother’s egg split.”
Treymane spun to her knees, grabbed Alyson and pulled Valley to her feet as she rose, tossing her to a recovering Lily. Veronica scraped Bev off the canvas and led her to a corner while Burlingame ‘helped’ Aly to the opposite, Carpenter scolding, but yet to count toward ending the mayhem.
The champs aimed their golden-maned parcels at the other and flung 'em toward a head-on collision center stage. And indeed, the mirror images knocked coconuts at full speed, sending each challenger spinning and stumbling back the way she’d been thrown.
Lily’s already charging toward her foe and sprang with legs extended. Her abbreviated stems surrounded Beverly’s noggin and the blonde was sent flipping to a spine-thumping collision via a Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors.
TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OFiJCp51OQ
Alyson got destroyed in equal measure by the bigger Dangerous Dame, Ronnie leaping to the approaching Aly, legs tucking tight into Valley’s chest. Treymane pulled her foe down with her and delivers her signature Kiss Me Deadly, the impact sending Valley flying into the air before ending in a semiconscious stupor, spreadeagled and perfect for pinning.
KISS ME DEADLY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTYMT906Baw
Unfortunately for Treymane, Al’s been able to keep track of the twins through the four-way skirmish and when Ronnie ended up draped atop the demolished Alyson, he made the Gorgeous Gangster aware she’s got the wrong woman beneath her.
Beverly’s been pulled to her feet by 'Ronnie’s partner but before Lily could transfer ownership, the catty Californian raised her ruby-tipped nails and slashed them across Burlingame’s dark peepers.
As a spinning Burlingame shrieked and rubbed furiously at her eyes, Valley noticed a none-too-pleased Moll staring her down. Immediately, she headed for the exit, dropping to the canvas and rolling out.
The Neo-Noir Knockout wasn't waiting for retribution. She headed out as well and it became a sprint around the squared circle, Beverly maintaining her lead through three quarters of a lap before she threw her body under and scrambled to her feet, ready for Ronnie when she reentered.
As Treymane reached vertical, the vile Valley punted the Gangster at the juncture of her thighs to even the playing field…and then some. Bev glanced over her shoulder, seeing the blinded brunette trying to blink her vision back. She snatched a frozen Veronica by a wrist and her neck and spun the mewling Treymane into a heave that sent the doubled 'Ronnie shoulder-first into the oblivious Burlingame, Veronica SPEARING THE HOLY HELL out of her unaware teammate.
The FAWNatics groaned in sympathy at the ingenious maneuver by the challenger.
Bev shouted instructions at her twin and Aly NAILED a running knee to the temple of a kneeling Veronica. Alyson lays out Cosmic Noir like cord wood, blonde and brunette in single file next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, face-up. Aly dove across the legs of the leveled champions as Beverly took to a penthouse perch atop the nearest set of buckles.
Bev launches high through the Orlando sky, tucking at her zenith before widening into a fateful Frog Splash, CRASHING down across the tummies of both titlists. Beverly lies across both midriffs to make sure she’s got the legal woman for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Legs pinned to the mat by a helpful Alyson, both Lily and 'Ronnie rolled a shoulder up in opposite directions, thwarting the synchronous devilry of the natural clones.
The Valleys reared back on their haunches and pounded frustrated fists into the canvas, they'd been so. Goddamned. Close! After a moment Beverly caught her breath and so did Alyson. “Which one is legal?” she asked. “The fugly flapper, right?”
Aly nodded. “Yeah.”
“Ok, let's make sure that value-brand Sue can't do anything to--”
“Oh no you don't.” Carpenter interrupted the challengers' planning session. “Aly, all you're doing is getting back to your corner!”
Alyson started to argue, but Bev shook her head. “Don't worry about it, sis. I'll make the tag soon enough.”
The legal Valley made a move for Treymane only to settle on Burlingame instead, Beverly making a point to bounce the back of Lily's sull against the mat half a dozen times before she hauled her to verticality. The ref protested this attack as best he could, unfortunately for Cosmic Noir he decided that getting Alyson back to her corner was priority one which meant Bev had more than enough time to scoop the former Lightweight Champion up onto one shoulder.
A mere Body Slam wasn't nearly enough to keep a turd like Burlingame down for long so the resurgent Californian stomped over to a neutral corner and wedged her burden in tight against the buckles. In the next instant she crisscrossed Lily's lower legs in an 'X' beneath the top turnbuckle, thus securing the Tree of Woe. “Had a good run, you little twerp.” Valley treated her foe's crotch to a condescending little pat. “Too bad your stubby little legs aren't strong enough to outrun our greatness.”
“Wuh... we'll see about thaAARRRGGHHHH!”
Lily's defiance ended in an anguished shriek as Beverly fashioned her hand into a blade and brought it down between the champ's legs! Another cruel Karate Chop meant Lily was both nauseated and neutralized when Valley swung around to shift her attention to a slowly recovering Veronica Treymane. Keenly aware that she was currently in the Destroyer's blind spot, Beverly sprinted into the ropes behind Treymane, shot in on her six and snatched a handful of hair half a heartbeat before she leapt up and soared through the sky, Valley landing on her butt a few feet from the challenger's corner while 'Ronnie landed on her face, chest and tummy with a cringe-inducing THWHUMP!
Aly already had a hand extended for a tag, but Bev waited until she'd snatched a double handful of Treymane's hair and scraped her off the canvas. “Go to the top rope once I tag you in.” Beverly told her sister in the midst of pumping a few Kneelifts into Veronica's belly. “But not this one, the neutral corner. Opposite the hobbit.”
“You got it.” Aly didn't quite know what her sister had planned, but she trusted her instincts enough to follow through without question. Still holding onto the Dangerous Dame with both hands, Bev let out a triumphant shriek as she charged forward and BWUUUNGED her face into the top turnbuckle!
TAG!
Alyson ran down the apron as bade and began to scramble into place atop the high rent district while Beverly switched places with the champion and hopped into a seat on the same buckle she'd just used to bludgeon the big blonde. “UNNNNGGHH!” A quick Mule Kick sent Treymane backpedaling out into the open, thus allowing the now illegal Valley to claim her own perch on the top turnbuckle. Soon as it was hers she took to the skies, Beverly leading with her feet to DRIVE every bit of her hundred and twenty-five pounds into 'Ronnie's chest via a Missile Dropkick!
MISSILE DROPKICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCBv8hQu_ls
The high risk maneuver put Treymane on the deck in the center of the squared circle which meant she was in perfect position for Aly to get in some sky miles too, the second Valley Twin leaping from her perch with both legs extended to THAWHAM the back of one summer-tanned thigh down across Veronica's neck in a Guillotine Leg Drop!
GUILLOTINE LEG DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0LHiDtHYa4
Having rolled under the bottom rope after landing the Dropkick (she didn't want to offer Carpenter any excuse to delay the count) Beverly Valley squealed with delight and slapped the apron with both hands while Alyson caught Treymane's jolted stems in a tight bundle and held her down for the...
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Incredulity tore through the FAWN Arena when 'Ronnie nudged a shoulder off the mat, even the most die-hard Star Gazers thought the Gorgeous Gangster was finished! But whereas the mood on the far side of the guardrails was one of giddy delight, closer to the action the challengers found themselves gripped by a disgust so profound it was almost paralyzing. Inside the ropes Alyson snarled curses at Al while outside Beverly unleashed a flurry of furious kicks on the steel steps. It was the latter who steadied her nerves first, Bev forcing her voice to steady out before she called, “Don't waste your breath, Aly! Just get her up and get her to the corner, we'll finish her off together!”
“The hell you will!” Lily Burlingame taunted from her spot hanging from the corner. “The two of you aren't worth half a Veronica Treymane, unless you dorks are actually quintuplets she's gonna whoop your ass--”
“Shut your mouth, bitch!” Alyson barked at the Crimson Comet. “We're gonna wreck her and then we're gonna ruin--”
“Suuuuuuuuure you are.” Lily interrupted. “Everyone knows you two are crippled without Rachelle calling every play. At least Beverly's trying to lead, you're just a shadow following orders!”
Outside, Beverly was stalking around one corner on the way to shut Burlingame's mouth. “Don't listen to her, Aly! Keep your attention on Treyma--”
“Yeah, don't listen to me, Aly!” Burlingame chirped. “Be a good little sister and do as you're--”
Alyson let out an infuriated shriek and charged at the Star Strider full speed, the challenger meaning to put an end to that sass in the most vicious way possible. Of course intention and outcome don't always match, as Valley discovered first hand when Burlingame crunched her way up just high enough to JAB a Back Elbow into the blonde's mouth! Aly staggered, then flailed, her arms windmilling wildly when Lily caught her noggin in a Three Quarters Facelock. Finally slipping her legs free of that hellish knot, the Maroon Meteor braced both feet against the top buckle and pushed off as hard as she can, Lily swinging around in a half circle before laying out to THWHAM Alyson's face into the deck with a massive Ace Crusher!
Cursing aloud as Aly ate a faceful of canvas, Beverly dove under the bottom rope, popped to her feet and went straight for the meddling heir--THWHACK! Veronica Treymane exploded out of a weary crouch to turn Bev inside out with a monstrous Lariat!
Pushing to her knees in the wake of that thunderous collision, 'Ronnie looked to Lily and asked, “Was that the legal one?”
Burlingame shook her head 'no' and jerked a thumb at Alyson. “She's over there.”
“Ok, you wanna deal with this one?” Veronica indicated Beverly, but her eyes were already on Alyson.
“Can do.” Burlingame helped herself to Bev's locks and started to haul her upright.
“Lily, neither of you are legal!” Al interjected. “Just get back to your corner, I'll handle--”
He would've said 'Beverly' if the recently stupefied sister hadn't swatted Lily's hands out of her hair and then swiveled her head with a massive Bitch Slap! “Trash talking brat!” Valley grabbed a wrist and stepped backward, dropping a shoulder in the process. “I'll shut you up for good!” With that she launched the Star Strider at the ropes at top speeNO!
Burlingame dug in her heels and reversed the Whip to send Bev to the strands in her place! She didn't go alone though, the champ was hot on her heels, meaning Valley had just turned around when Lily THUMPED a huge Kneelift into her belly! Beverly grunted, lost her balance and dropped to a seat with her arms draped over the middle rope. Seeing this, Lily backed off a little ways, then charged in and grabbed hold of the top and middle ropes swung through like she was going for a Tiger Feint Kick, only instead of striking she Scissored her legs around the blonde's right arm and knotting her hands under Beverly's jaw! It wasn't quite Cosmic Entanglement, but that didn't stop the Californian from wailing to the rafters when Burlingame tightened down and leaaaaaaaaaaaaaned back, the tricksy lightweight using every bit of available leverage to stretch Valley's neck and shoulders!
ALMOST COSMIC ENTANGLEMENT @ 2:01
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXjFt_zhDFU
Elsewhere, Alyson Valley pushed to all fours, flipped the hair out of her eyes and spotted Burlingame throttling her sister with some sorta human knot in the ropes! She didn't stop to question why Carpenter hadn't put a stop to the flagrant abuse of the rules (he was clearly a biased idiot), she just clambered to boot-leather and shouted, “I'm coming, BeverHHRRRGGHHHH!”
Treymane swept in from behind, cinched her left arm around the challenger's neck and grabbed hold of her right bicep in the same instant she cupped her right hand against the back of Alyson's skull! Feet set firm, Veronica dipped low, then popped her hips and yanked Valley off the mat so she could begin to spin...and spin...and spin! Happy to repay the count delivered to their heroines earlier in the match, the crowd caught their bearings and began to note each rotation. 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN!'
The Pinstripe Powerhouse went up on tiptoe before dropping to one knee, an abrupt adjustment that planted Alyson on her butt in the middle of the ring! Arms thrashing wildly as she fought the fearful march of the Big Sleep, Valley slapped at Treymane's forearms and managed to rake her biceps a few times before she reached back in search of the Dame's ha--“GGGUUUURRRHHHHHK!” 'Ronnie went up on tiptoe again, only now her legs were set in a wide 'V' and she leaned all her weight forward against the smaller wrestler's head and shoulders!
Alyson was damned near folded in half, her forehead only inches from the mat as the Gorgeous Gangster continued to bear down with everything she-- Valley reached out and swatted the mat, desperate to get loose before she passed into unconsciousness!
Carpenter saw and called for the bell, but Treymane held on following the CLANG just to make sure there was no question of victory. She was still glommed on tight when Lily hurried over and swatted her shoulder. “You got her, 'Ronnie! It's OK to let go, she's done!”
Veronica let loose and stood up straight, the exhausted blonde throwing an arm around Burlingame's shoulders as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via submission and STILL the FAWN Tag Team Champions... COSMIC NOIR!”
Lily curled an arm across Treymane's lower back and patted her side while Al hurried over to offer them the straps.
“Twins, right?” Veronica huffed before hoisting the gold.
“Evil stepmoms, right?”
Lily agreed as she did the same.
“Right.”
Nothing more needed to be said so the victorious champions simply basked in roar of the crowd knowing their status as the brightest stars in the Tag Team Galaxy was secure for at least another night.
The Ring Announcer broke the din.
“At this time will you please welcome... Rachelle Leah.”
The prodigal Step-MILF emerged from stage left, some in the startled crowd recovering enough to jeer, but most proved both curious and enthusiastic.
RACHELLE LEAH:
The drop-dead fortysomething blonde wore a curve-hugging, sleek black minidress, and absently passed a microphone back and forth between her hands until the boos lessened slightly. Once they finally do, Rachelle brought the mic to her lips.
“We’re baaaack,” the blonde bellowed.
The response from the FAWNatics was surprisingly mixed.
“The girls and I have watched as a clearly inferior team has run roughshod," Leah pronounced. “And it made us feel ill to see what this organization’s tag division has become.”
The crowd began to remember why they disliked the ‘California Karen’ and her stepdaughters, the mixed feelings turning decidedly negative.
“Shut your damn mouths! I’ve got the mic!”
The words don’t help with the crowd’s demeanor, the throng chanting “YOU…SUCK”.
“I’ll tell you who sucks. The midget and make-believe Al Capone. Let me show you what real tag champions look like. Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from Hidden Hills, California... Weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds of the sexiest carnage you can possibly imagine... My pride and joy, the incomparable... the INVINCIBLE…AND YOUR SOON TO BE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... Alyson and Beverly... THE VALLEY GIRLS!”
FAWN Arena’s speakers came to life with the pulsing beat of Pink’s “Trouble.” The identical icons and one-time FAWN tag team champions joined their manager/Mom, sharing the FAWN spotlight for the first time in years.
ALYSON VALLEY:
BEVERLY VALLEY:
TROUBLE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFu3YzRnyDU
Even with the time away, the trio’s exploits were enough to earn them a copious amount of hate between the shameless gawking of the blonde beauties.
The twins bracketed their manager in mirror images, the grapplers identical down to their sartorial choices for the evening: classic white fightin’ two-pieces with sequined trim, the tops adorned with the bedazzled script “Totally” and the tushes the word “Bytchin’!”
The Valleys headed for their homecoming battle, striding the ramp and aisle as if they’ve never left. Rachelle Leah overtook her stepdaughters once they reached ringside, ascending the steel steps while Aly and Bev jawed with a handful of fans at the ring’s edge.
Once on the apron, Rachelle took a seat on the middle rope, holding the cables open for the flaxen-haired siblings to slide through. One twin—Aly or Bev? Who could tell—stretched and warmed up, while the other absently pranced and preened before moving behind her sister to massage her partner’s shoulders.
Rachelle Leah joined them in the squared circle and guided them to the center, putting an arm around the shoulders of each until the catcalls dropped to a level she could overcome. The manager turned to the upper stage.
“My ‘Girls’ had their fun away from you losers, but there’s no better feeling than being FAWN Tag Team champs. So come on out ladies and take your beatings like big girls.”
The FAWNatics were still booing their hearts out over this most unexpected (and equally unwelcome) return when the Announcer did his best to change their mood. “And introducing their opponents! Hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively and weighing in at combined total of two hundred and forty-four pounds. They are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are the FAWN Tag Team Champions… COSMIC NOIR!”
The low red glare of the Star Strider's entrance was augmented by a gout of flame sparking from the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. All at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of 'Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and those gathered for Red, White & Bruised turned their attention to the brightest constellation in the Tag Team Galaxy.
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
“Twins again?” Lily groaned as she stepped into place beside the big, blonde Destroyer. “And they brought their overbearing step-mother with them? Not cool, Bethany. Not cool.”
“We shut down the Halfmoons, we'll do the same to the Valleys.” Treymane assured her partner. “And if Rachelle sticks her nose in our business...”
“Boom?”
“Hell yeah, boom.”
Plan made, the Maroon Meteor raised an invisible detonator overhead, then brought her thumb down to get an earth-shattering ‘KA-BOOM!’ from the FAWNatics and an explosive line of pyro from Veronica’s barking iron. When it fell silent Treymane and Burlingame blew smoke off the barrel, then started toward the ring with the Roseate Rocket a few steps ahead.
For tonight's battle with the duo of duplicitous doppelgangers, Lily wore her usual midnight blue and starry white halter and bottoms, galaxies swirling and shimmering with her every move. Her knee pads were white on one side and purple on the other, matching her togs perfectly. Behind her, the Gorgeous Gangster wore matching togs, the dark blue replacing charcoal gray in her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt gleamed bright white, as did her pads and wrist-tape, while her boots were a highly-polished black.
They were about halfway to the squared circle when Burlingame raised her right hand and started a silent countdown.
Three.
Two.
One.
Blastoff!
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to leap onto the apron in a single bound. From there she raced along the narrow ledge to the far corner, the top of which she reached just as easily. This display of effortless acrobatics was capped off with a soaring and undeniably gorgeous back-flip which landed her perfectly within the confines of the squared circle. A couple heartbeats passed and Veronica slid in behind her, the Dangerous Dame having doffed her coat and Thompson once the countdown began.
The champs were in the midst of handing over their golden hardware to Al Carpenter when Alyson and Beverly exploded out of their corner and took to the skies for a stereo Dropkick that THUMPED four fearsome feet between the shoulders of 'Ronnie Treymane!
“HEY!” Lily tossed her belt aside without another moment's thought and laid into the nearest Valley sister as she scrambled up from the sneak attack that'd put the Dangerous Dame on the deck! Burlingame landed a couple clubbing overhand shots and a few more quick Forearm Smashes to the jaw, but the odds went out of her favor only moments later when the other twin rushed in from behind and raaaaaaaaaaked the heiress from shoulders to buttocks!
“What kinda cheap game are you playing, huh?” the late-arriving sister sneered as she caught Burlingame in a snug Full Nelson. “It's high time someone taught you two idiots what it means to fight like REAL champions!”
“Oh, kiss my assSOOOFFFHH!” Lily's rebuttal came to an abrupt end when her original target hunched forward and drove a single Kneelift into the pit of her stomach!
“You're gonna do more than kiss ass tonight.” the blonde giggled to her gasping adversary. “You're gonna kiss those titles goodbye AND scream yourself hoarse in the process!” Just like that she clamped her claws down on Lily's chest and twisted this way and that!
Elsewhere, Carpenter scooped up the abandoned gold and hurriedly tossed it to a ringside tech before throwing a signal to the Timekeeper. “All right, break it up! Break it up!” he shouted over the CLANG of the bell. “I mean it Valleys, knock that shit off or--”
“Girls, you've got bigger problems.” Rachelle noted from her spot on the challenger's side of the ring.”
Alyson and Beverly immediately tossed Lily aside and turned their focus to Veronica, who'd just made it to her feet. Breaking apart so one could get draw the Destroyer's attention while the other swooped around on her six, the former unleashed a quick Super Kick while the latter went low and lashed out a scythe-like Sweep! Each struck their targets, chin and ankles respectively, and Treymane went down in a heap, the former World Champion landing hard on the back of her head and shoulders! With Carpenter still yelling and Treymane Totally Eliminated, the Valleys suddenly rediscovered their love of law and order as one raised her hands and scurried toward their corner while the other dropped down on Treymane's chest in a miniature Splash and hooked the far leg for...
ONE...
TWO...
“NNNNGGHHH!”
Lily made the brat pay with a Dropkick delivered broadside that smashed into the Californian's ribs! “Get her out of there!” Rachelle barked to the official. “She's not the legal member of her team!”
“Shut it, 'copter mom!” Lily snapped as she helped herself to a double handful of blonde hair. “Your brats didn't even let us make a choiHHRRGGHH!”
The as of yet unidentified Valley (it was actually Beverly) jabbed a quick Back Elbow into the brunette's mouth, snapping her head back! “Oh, so you want to take all the punishment, do ya, bitch?” Bev snatched a handful of hair and slapped Lily's face a few more times for good measure. “We can do that, no problem!”
Switching over to a Wristlock before the woozy champ had a chance to retaliate, Valley stepped backward, dropped a hip and sent Burlingame hurtling into the challenger's corner with an Irish Whip. Alyson raised a hand to confirm she was holding onto the tag rope like a law-abiding citizen should, though there was no denying the venomous smirk on her face when her twin rushed in and CRUSHED Lily's sternum with a massive Clothesline!
“Did I ACTUALLY hear you sassing off to Rachelle a moment ago?” Bev taunted the gasping grappler. “I must've been mistaken because if you did I'd have to do THIS!” Valley resumed the previous clawing with eye-watering interest, the sneering blonde just gouging and kneading at the smaller wrestler's curves.
This rough treatment was only a few seconds old when Al Carpenter strode up and ordered, “Get her out of the corner, now!”
“Oh c'mon, dork! I'm just showing her what happens to cheaters who break up pins!”
“I'm warning you both! Get her out of there--”
“Oh all right, all right!” Beverly threw up her hands and stomped away from the buckles, albeit without taking Burlingame along for the ride. “Jesus, Al. When did you become such a buzzkill?”
“Cut it out. You two started this crap even before the bell sounded!”
“They were taunting us! Brazenly! Just holding the gold up in our faces, how were we supposed to respond to that?”
“I don't know, how about like mature adul--”
Resounding jeers drew Carpenter's gaze back to the challenger's side of town where he got the briefest glimpse of the other Valley twin pulling the tag rope away from the throat of a suddenly red-faced Lily Burlingame. “One more time, Rachelle!” the zebra warned their manager, rather than the Twins themselves. “Get your girls in line or I'll call for the bell right WHOAH!” Al juked to one side to avoid Beverly as she rushed by on her way to the corner and THWHUMPED her buns into Lily's belly for a nauseating Hip Check!
“PATHETIC!” Valley called to the FAWNatics as flicked her bottoms snug against her glutes while strutting back to the middle of the squared circle. “This is what passes for a champion these days? You losers need us more than I realizNNNNGGGGGGGGHH!”
A bit too caught up in her shabby treatment of the Star Strider, Beverly had forgotten about the Pinstripe Powerhouse and oh did she pay for it when Treymane exploded to verticality and smashed a Clothesline across the challenger's chest!
“HEY!” Alyson called in alarm as she watched her twin mowed down in a single stroke. “Get her out of the ring, she's not legal!”
“Is that so?” Carpenter asked the blonde. “Because I'm pretty sure your sister tried to pin her a minute ago.”
“Heat of battle mistake!” Alyson sniped. “It's not our fault you can't do your joBRRGH!”
Lily caught Alyson in the chin with a Back Elbow that forced the challenger to snag onto the top rope so she didn't tumble to the floor. Alas, her efforts came to naught when the Crimson Comet turned around, hopped onto the middle rope, then bounced up and THWHACKED an Enzugiri against the side of the blonde's noggin! Valley lost her grip and dropped from the apron, though she did manage to land on her feet. This didn't bother Burlingame in the slightest, indeed she was all smiles when she took hold of the rubber-coated steel and vaulted into the void, Lily throwing herself into a quick little corkscrew before she came crashing down atop the Californian!
SLINGSHOT PLANCHA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjrfiJ5BDUg
The Slingshot Plancha knocked Alyson to the ground while Burlingame tumbled away and popped to boot-leather, the former Lightweight Champion pumping a fist to the sold-out crowd.
“Watch yourself you slippery little brat.”
Lily spun around and skipped backward to put some distance between herself and Rachelle Leigh, who'd closed in on the action once she saw her step-daughter hit the floor. “I think I'd rather keep an eye on you, ma'am.” Burlingame chided. “You though, you might want to keep an eye on the ring.”
Rachelle flicked her eyes toward the ring, cursed, then lunged over and pounded her palms against the apron. “Watch out, Beverly!” she shouted. “Don't let that idiot get her hands on--”
Treymane already had her hands on Valley, her hair specifically, and she used this grip to haul the stunned blonde upright. Soon as that was done 'Ronnie let loose, crouched down and looped her arms around Beverly's waist to boost her into the air with a convulsive Bear Hug.
BEAR HUG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpEHjTH4BzQ
“AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!” Bev groaned in breathless distress, her hands reaching out for the ropes before she went to work clawing and raking the bigger blonde's back. “Leggo of me you meathead!” Valley demanded to the Dangerous Dame. “Don't make me shred you to HHHRRRRRHHH!”
Veronica squeezed even harder, jounced in place a few times, then shook her burden back 'n forth like a terrier shaking a rat! “You want me to let go, Daisy?” Veronica huffed as she scraped her knotted hands against the challenger's lower back. “Tap out and I might consider itooooowwwwwww... is that how we're gonna play this?”
More than willing to do whatever necessary to escape this painful predicament, Beverly reached down Treymane's back, grabbed hold of her waistband and pulled those pinstripe togs quite a bit higher with a nasty wedgie! Valley had hoped the catty tactic would secure her release, but the lummox refused to let go so she kept right on tugging and sawing. “Hope you like thongs, idiot.”she growled. “Because this one's going over your head before you know NNNGGGGHHH!”
Veronica went up on tiptoe, then sank to one knee to THUMP the challenger's groin with a quick and dirty Inverted Atomic Drop! This removed Valley's mitts from her trunks so the Magnificent Moll straightened up with the Bear Hug still in place, but rather than remain in the middle of the ring, she turned toward Noir's corner and took off at a dead sprint! Beverly knew it wouldn't be pleasant, unfortunately it proved even worse than expected when Veronica lowered a shoulder and BWUUUUNGED her spine-first into the turnbuckles!
“Hey, fancy meeting you here!” Treymane said to Lily Burlingame moments after the Crimson Comet hopped onto the apron. “Want your turn with this little sneak?”
“Absolutely. Set her up for me, would'ja?”
“Of course.”
Cosmic Noir made the tag and Burlingame skipped over the ropes while Treymane pulled Beverly out of the corner and reeled her into a Standing Headscissors. From there she muscled the smaller blonde onto her shoulders for a Powerbomb stall, then turned so she was pointed toward a neutral set of ropes. That was all Lily needed to take off running, the Girl That Gravity Forgot 'twanging' offa the strands to speed back and hop up onto her own partner! Feet planted against the planes of the Destroyer's thighs, Burlingame slapped a Waistlock on Beverly and bridged backward to THAWHAM Valley to the canvas with a cleverly delivered Release German Suplex! The landing left Beverly folded up in a Matchbook so Lily Splashed down across her upturned calves to keep the duplicitous challenger in place for the...
ONE…
TWO…
Alyson broke the count mostly by happenstance, Rachelle plucking her stepdaughter off the arena floor, then flinging the blonde under the ropes, breaking up her sister’s pin by proxy.
With Aly and Bev both in significant disrepair and the long and short of Cosmic Noir attentive to the allowance of shenanigans thus far, the champs each scraped their battered challenger to respective feet.
Lily and 'Ronnie took turns heaving the Valleys to the far ropes, Burlingame sending Bev a tick earlier to account for the extra speed with which Treymane delivered Alyson on her way.
Charging as the sapphire-eyed Valley Girls rebounded toward them, Lily leapt into a picture-perfect Dropkick of Beverly’s jaw while Veronica PLOWED into Alyson’s chin with a Big Boot that nearly removed the challenger’s head from her shoulders.
Both of Rachelle’s girls ended up splayed in identical spreadeagles. They stared blankly at the rafters as the FAWNatics raised the roof! The champs gather next to Aly, one on each side and leapt into the air above, double-Splashing whatever fight’s left out of the nearest twin.
Aly spasmed under the weight of each member of Cosmic Noir, while the blonde Destroyer and dark-haired Star Strider glancd at Carpenter. He shook his head.
“Sorry, ladies. One at a time. AND. That’s the wrong one.”
Lily and 'Ronnie nodded as they pushed to their feet and moved to the softly stirring Beverly. Each took a spot on either side of Bev. They reached across, clasped hands, then dropped to deliver simultaneous Elbow Drops to the contender, sending the crowd into a deja-vous as it’s Beverly’s turn to jerk spasmodically from a double team.
Al motioned Veronica to exit the ring so he could count for the covering Lily, but Treymane took a detour, snatching Aly off the canvas. She bum-rushed the blonde toward her stepmom, brusquely tossing the Beverly Hills brat over. Rachelle barely leapt out of the way of her careening stepdaughter.
Inside, the delayed count started for the Roseate Rocket’s pin when 'Ronnie slid through the ropes, Burlingame claiming the victory with the…
ONE…
TWO…
Beverly shifted a shoulder off the canvas, a tick away from an ignominious FAWN homecoming. She rolled to her side and reached vainly for her corner. There’s no help coming anytime soon, Rachelle tending to the depleted Alyson on the floor.
Lily ‘helped’ Bev to her knees then retreated to the ropes, rebounded and indulged herself with a knee to the chin of the faltering challenger. Burlingame tugged the dazed Valley to her feet and aimed the golden-maned twin at the far buckles before sending her galloping into a back-first collision with the buckles.
The former Cherry Bomb followed behind but not in ordinary fashion, the Crimson Comet showing her stuff with a devastating Cartwheel Pele Kick to her foe’s cranium.
CARTWHEEL KICK @ 1:17
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrZTCaw8iSI
After impact, Beverly ended on her knees and forehead in a precarious three-point ‘stance’. Lily slipped behind the penitent and ‘bowing’ Bev. She tempted fate by climbing the Valley corner and reaching the top as the twin inside the ring started to rise.
A late-arriving Alyson took a swing at Burlingame’s ankles from the outside, but the champ launched in time, pulling her abbreviated stems into a cannonball position and blasting against Beverly’s backbone as she landed across the blonde’s spine in a tight tuck that PLANTED Valley face-first against the canvas.
Lily tugged the insensate twin to her back and settled across her foe’s frame in a tight Lateral Press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
This time Alyson broke up what likely would’ve been the end of the challengers by her own design, grabbing the former Bomb’s left leg and yanking Lily off her sister then out of the ring under the bottom rope.
As Lily landed on her boot leather, punch poised to clock Alyson, Burlingame failed to account for the cougar at her six, Rachelle leaping into a nasty clip behind the knees of the Roseate Rocket.
A frustrated Al considered his alternatives. He moved to the ropes, hanging over the rubber-coated steel, then swung his right arm toward the upper stage, index finger pointing the way for Rachelle Leah.
“You’re outta here!” he shouted over the roar of the crowd.
The stepmom/manager of the Valleys screamed in protest, pulling at her perfectly coiffed mane.
“You can’t…”
“I can!” Al interrupted. “And if you don’t get your ass in gear, your Girls are going with you.”
Spitting fire, Rachelle turned and stomped her way to the back. However, the attack that got her tossed was already paying dividends. Alyson had Lily by a wrist and shoulder and heaved her down the length of the ring, Burlingame burying her right shoulder against the steel steps at a breakneck pace.
The ‘CLANG’ of metal on bone proved quite disconcerting as was Lily's howling, Burlingame cradling her right arm close. Veronica arrived in time to stop Aly from adding to the trouble of the Crimson Comet, Valley backing off with her hands raised plaintively as a fuming Treymane threatened the smaller blonde.
Unfortunately for the Dangerous Dame, a recovering Beverly was up and racing to her sister’s rescue. Bev dove between the top and middle cables and caught an oblivious Ronnie clean with the Suicide Dive. She NAILED the Gorgeous Gangster at full speed and flush. Veronica hurtled into the steel barricade behind her, her vertebrae CRASHING into the metal divider. 'Ronnie slumped to a jumbled, wincing pile.
Looking on from the upper stage, Rachelle gave her Girls a fist pump before heading backstage. The beaming Valleys hovered over both sets of wreckage, the crowd silenced by the sight of Twin Magic, Bev and Aly turning their beatdown into a golden opportunity at grabbing the tag division like matching Louis Vuitton bags.
Together, each snatched a wrist and hauled the dilapidated Lily to boot soles. The Valley Girls heaved Burlingame back in the ring under the bottom rope. Despite Al’s demand only one follow the brunette in, each Valley entered and they collected the grounded Comet.
Pulling Lily’s lowered head into dual Front Facelocks, the natural-born clones laid out in perfect unison and SPIKED Lily’s skull into the thinly-sheathed plywood, Burlingame arranged in a sickening headstand for a split-second before tumbling over to her back.
One of the twins, Al thought it Aly, scrambled to the comatose Comet, diving across her in a pin.
Unsure if the right twin was covering, Carpenter hesitated for a second then dropped to slap out the…
ONE…
TWO…
NO!
Burlingame showed her mettle and her own bloodline, kicking out, perhaps on instinct alone.
As Carpenter ushered a twin, we’ll say Beverly, to her station, Alyson mounted Lily in a kneeling straddle of her foe’s waist and pounded forearms into her bruised cheeks and temples, Burlingame’s head sent on swivel after swivel from the unrelenting assault.
Finally yielding to exhaustion, Alyson pushed to her feet, moved to the Valley corner and tagged her twin. But instead of immediately entering, Beverly headed for the penthouse, climbing to the top buckle alongside her genetic counterpart.
The Valleys, shoulder to shoulder, leapt from their precarious perch toward the splayed Lily and BURIED Burlingame under their infamous Tidal Wave Splash/Leg Drop double-team combo.
TIDAL WAVE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=er6C6-l0lec
A demolished ‘Bomb’ settled in a breathless stupor as a groaning Aly rolled out of the ring, swaddling her own aching ribs from the Splash side of the Wave. Beverly rubbed her tailbone but quickly dropped across the wrecked champion for the inevitable…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Veronica arrived with no time to spare, diving into the ring and shoving Beverly off her partner to save the titleholders’ reigns, for the moment.
“CHEATER!” Valley pounded the mat in a fury as she scrambled up from the aftermath of Treymane's last second Shoulderblock. “Get out of the ring before I rip you apart!”
Veronica was already headed to the champ's corner at Al's insistence, but she stopped at the sound of Beverly's threat. A glare in the blonde's direction produced immediate silence so 'Ronnie turned around and-- “HHHRRRGGHH!”
Bev ran after her, snatched a huge handful of hair and charged the started Destroyer into the Noir corner to BWUNG! her face against the top turnbuckle!
“What did I say about respect?” Valley snarled down at Treymane as she mounted the second rope to keep the big blonde wedged against the buckles. “What did I say, huh bitch? What did I say?”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse's response was something less than grovelling apology, so Beverly doubled down on the hair-hold and proceeded to DRIVE her opponent's face into the canvas-covered steel over and over again! The FAWNatics hated every bit of it, yet tradition was a hard thing to break and they found themselves counting along, not with Al's aggravated warning, but a different tally entirely. 'TWO...THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE...'
Beverly took a moment to fluff her own locks, then snatched an even greedier handful of Treymane's flaxen tousle and delivered a thunderous 'TEN!'
In the midst of this barbarous buckle bludgeoning, Alyson Valley noted two things simultaneously. First, that obnoxious firecracker was recovering far quicker than she liked. Two, Al Carpenter was completely distracted by Beverly's justified punishment of the lumbering hat rack that was Veronica Treymane. Making no effort to keep the smirk off her face, Aly crept through the ropes and rushed over to Burlingame just as the heiress was reaching all fours. Catching a Front Facelock neat as you please, Alyson pulled Lily upright, then slung the champ's near arm across her shoulders. What looked like a Vertical Suplex ended up hitting with much more impact when Valley abruptly twisted under her opponent and laid out on her back to THWHUMP Burlingame down on the base of her head and shoulders with a gorgeous Snap Neckbreaker.
SNAP SWINGING NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYmhWpkJ8QQ
Those fans not enamored with the mugging in the corner saw this offense in full and jeered accordingly, alas Alyson had timed her atrocity to coincide with the last of Beverly's beatdown and it went quite unnoticed by the earnest, albeit oblivious official.
“Don't bother bundling that trash out of the ring just yet!” Bev chided Carpenter once she finally hopped down from her corner. “I don't want her distracting you from our impending victory!”
The briefest of glances toward the far corner told Bev that Aly had lent a hand with the Burlingame runt and while she was appreciative she had just enough, if not respect, than at least understanding for the dork's tenacity that she didn't consider just trying for a cover. Instead she helped herself to Burlingame's hair, hauled her to verticality and promptly doubled her over with a Kneelift to the pit of her stomach. From there she turned around and ran the ropes, Valley building an impressive head of steam by the time she came back and drove the point of her left knee into the side of Lily's skull with an ugly THWHUNK!
KNEE TREMBLER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrCPnchcex8
The Knee Trembler put Burlingame on the deck in a facedown heap, so Beverly shoveled her onto her back and dropped into a Back Press, the challenger making sure to point the loser's ass into the lights as Carpenter ushered out the reign of Cosmic Noir with a...
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOO!
Lily kicked out with half a second to spare, much to the delight of everyone save Alyson and Beverly Valley! “Oh, so you're a tuff bitch, are you?” Bev glowered even as she took hold of the brunette's shoulder-straps and started to rise “Seems to me you think you're Sue's twin and not the knock-off travel sized model that no one's really interested inNGH! NGH! NGH!”
Lily put an end to that rudeness with several quick punches to the Californian's belly, alas Valley had another insult at the ready, namely a single quick Headbutt delivered to the center of her back! “Yeah, two Rainmakers MIGHT have a shot against us.” Beverly kept sniping as she headed for the challenger's corner. “But pint-sized Ace and her dopey time-traveling nerd friend? No chance, loser!”
“Thuuuuuhhhh... that's what you think, sweetie.” Lily huffed. “You're not the first set of evil twins we've taken down, the last set didn't even have to bring their mommy to ringside with NNNGGGHHHH!”
Beverly put some more hard miles on the heiress' back with a few overhand Forearm Smashes, then bent down, hooked onto the champ's feet and swept them out from underneath with a Double Leg Takedown. “Bitch is STILL running her mouth.” Bev sounded incredulous as she freed one hand to tag Aly into the match. “Guess she doesn't know what we do to bitches who can't shut up.”
Alyson giggled as she slipped through the ropes. “That's gonna change right now, sis.”
Beverly stuffed Lily's legs under her armpits, then rolled the Star Strider onto her belly so she could step over and sit down in a DEEP Boston Crab that did nothing for Burlingame's already aching spine. Her situation grew all the more untenable when Alyson settled down from the other direction, the fresh Valley Twin glomming onto Lily's biceps so she could strap her arms across the blonde's thighs and secure the Chinlock immediately thereafter.
Boston Crab & Camel Clutch, the Uncanny Valley Twins to Lily Burlingame.
“AAAAAAAA FAAAAAAAAHHHHK!” Lily shrieked to high heaven as the blondes tried to bend her into an 'O'.
“TAP OUT!” the Twins demanded over their hapless opposition repeatedly, yet Burlingame continued to hold on to the point that the official began a count to end the double team.
“ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
“What? What's that bullshit?” Beverly snarled as she scrambled to her feet. “Where's my warning?”
“Back in the other corner, where you last ignored it.” the zebra countered. “Get out of the ring, now!”
“Yeah, go to the corner, Bev!” Alyson seconded as she relinquished the Camel Clutch. “That way he can't complain when we make a perfectly legal tag!”
That sounded just fine to Beverly, so she flipped Al the bird before flouncing through the strands to take possession of the tag rope.
Batting her eyes to the official as she made her way into position, Aly clapped Bev back into the fray and said, “Go up top, I'll get shorty ready for you.” Beverly did as bade, leaving Alyson to stomp back to Lily, who was still kissing the canvas. “Know what'll get those knots out, bitch? A little stretching! Here, let me help.”
A few kicks put Burlingame on her back, which in turn allowed Valley to plant a foot on either side of the brunette's waist. Then she bent forward, took hold of Lily's ankles and pulled her legs up and back in a wide 'V' that earned a concerned murmur from those in attendance. Beverly however looked anything but concerned, indeed she was grinning from ear to ear as she stood up in the high rent district and leapt out into the void, the cruel California cutie dropping headfirst into a fight ending Muff Di-NOOOO!
Lily suddenly grabbed hold of Alyson's ankles and kicked forward as hard as she could! The unexpected jolt reversed their positions, leaving Burlingame vertical and in control of Valley's freshly-splayed pins half a heartbeat before Beverly THWHAMMED the Diving Headbutt into her crotch!
“FUCK!” Bev bellowed in rage as she scrambled to her feet while poor Alyson curled up in a nauseated ball at her feet. As for Lily, she was upright but exceedingly wobbly, indeed the Maroon Meteor chose to backpedal rather than press the offensive and her departure did not go unnoticed by the incensed Beverly. “Where do you think you're going, shrimp? Did I say you could leave?”
Lily raised a hand to beckon and flipped the blonde off instead. “You want me, bimbo? Come and get--”
Valley did just that, springing over her prone twin to smash Burlingame's retreat with a Lari-- Lily dropped back into a gorgeous bridge, then pushed herself right back up and spun around to meet the blonde's second charge with a Back Kick that skewered her tummy!
Bev grunted and doubled over, giving the Crimson Comet the perfect opportunity to secure a Gutwrench around that roiling midsection. Just like that she dipped her knees and muscled Valley up and over, but rather than drop backward to complete the Suplex she halved her grip and hooked onto the challenger's left leg instead, thus ensuring it was cradled nice and tight when Burlingame dropped to her butt and PLANTED Beverly high and tight on the back of her head and shoulders! Matchbooked into oblivion that Lily would soon dub the Faster than Light Driver, Valley could only twitch and squirm when Al swooped in to count off the...
FASTER THAN LIGHT DRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl2qs5k5Cn4
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Beverly slipped out and onto her stomach to keep the Twin Tyrants in the match by the slimmest of margins!
Over in the Cosmic Noir corner, Veronica Treymane held up the tag rope in one hand and swatted the top turnbuckle with the other. “C'mon Lil, bring that brat over here!”
Burlingame sank a set of digits into Valley’s bright blonde locks and pulled Beverly to her feet. She tossed the challenger several feet to the Cosmic Noir corner then scooted backward and tumbled through a short run showing off her gymnastic bona fides, ending with a springing Back Elbow to the chops, rocking Bev. As Lily leaned her back into the chest of her foe to keep Valley in place, Veronica reached over the twin’s shoulder to slap Burlingame’s so she could slide through the ropes with no hassle from Carpenter.
But instead of taking control of Beverly from her partner, Treymane trudged to the kneeling Alyson, teary-eyed from the Dive receipt. 'Ronnie hauled a compliant Alyson to her feet by a wrist and shoulder and aimed the challenger at her partner, heaving Aly with an Irish Whip that sent Valley hurtling toward the Crimson Comet with everyone in the house knowing Lily would step out of the way and the twins will meet in a splashing sandwich of Valley velocity.
But as Burlingame tried to step aside, Bev looped her arms around Lily’s elbows and the Star Strider went bug-eyed as she’s body blasted by Alyson in the center of a Valley Sandwich.
None of the three women involved in the pile-up were a hundred percent after, Aly backpedaling from the impact before collapsing to her vertebrae in the middle of the ring. A blasted Burlingame staggered a few steps before taking a header RIGHT INTO ALYSON’S KITTY!
Poor Aly sat stark upright after a deja-vous destruction to her privates, Valley’s jaw dropping, her crystal blue eyes welling to overflowing as her hands scrabbled to get around Lily's forehead.
In the corner, a crushed Beverly drops to her backside, legs extended, head drooping as she’s in a daze from being at the bottom of the stack.
Only a sheepish 'Ronnie remained upright. She detoured around the TV-14 positioned grapplers mid-ring, leaving them for Al to clean-up. Treymane leapt into a Running Hip Check of the seated Bev, ROCKING Valley to the core, the blonde’s head whiplashing from the impact, leaving Valley adjacent to Dream Street.
The Destroyer-Class champion hauled the ragdolled Valley to her feet, scooping under the Cali girl’s thighs and placing Bev in a slumping seat atop the uppermost buckle. Climbing to the middle ropes, Ronnie forced her foe to stand then swept an arm between the quivering, ivory thighs of her adversary.
Showing the strength no one else in the match could match, the Gorgeous Gangster ‘hupped’ Beverly across her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry, the crowd ‘oohing’ with excitement.
Lily, having rolled clear of the drop zone and leaning heavily against distant ropes, watched wearily but intently as her partner took what’s left of Beverly with a ring-rattling Avalanche Samoan Drop.
AVALANCHE SAMOAN DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwFv7ScHKL8
Veronica finished in a Back Press atop the demolished Valley, hooking a leg for good measure for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Ignoring her pulsating privates as best she could, Alyson dove atop the heap, nudging 'Ronnie enough for Carpenter to call it a broken pin and thus kept the Twins’ triumphant return to their stomping grounds possible.
An exasperated Magnificent Moll sat next to the splayed Beverly, Aly essentially pinning her sister, as she laid atop her natural clone, perpendicular, chest to chest.
“You don’t get it,” Ronnie growls. “We’re generational talents alone and as a team. Your claim to fame is your mother’s egg split.”
Treymane spun to her knees, grabbed Alyson and pulled Valley to her feet as she rose, tossing her to a recovering Lily. Veronica scraped Bev off the canvas and led her to a corner while Burlingame ‘helped’ Aly to the opposite, Carpenter scolding, but yet to count toward ending the mayhem.
The champs aimed their golden-maned parcels at the other and flung 'em toward a head-on collision center stage. And indeed, the mirror images knocked coconuts at full speed, sending each challenger spinning and stumbling back the way she’d been thrown.
Lily’s already charging toward her foe and sprang with legs extended. Her abbreviated stems surrounded Beverly’s noggin and the blonde was sent flipping to a spine-thumping collision via a Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors.
TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OFiJCp51OQ
Alyson got destroyed in equal measure by the bigger Dangerous Dame, Ronnie leaping to the approaching Aly, legs tucking tight into Valley’s chest. Treymane pulled her foe down with her and delivers her signature Kiss Me Deadly, the impact sending Valley flying into the air before ending in a semiconscious stupor, spreadeagled and perfect for pinning.
KISS ME DEADLY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTYMT906Baw
Unfortunately for Treymane, Al’s been able to keep track of the twins through the four-way skirmish and when Ronnie ended up draped atop the demolished Alyson, he made the Gorgeous Gangster aware she’s got the wrong woman beneath her.
Beverly’s been pulled to her feet by 'Ronnie’s partner but before Lily could transfer ownership, the catty Californian raised her ruby-tipped nails and slashed them across Burlingame’s dark peepers.
As a spinning Burlingame shrieked and rubbed furiously at her eyes, Valley noticed a none-too-pleased Moll staring her down. Immediately, she headed for the exit, dropping to the canvas and rolling out.
The Neo-Noir Knockout wasn't waiting for retribution. She headed out as well and it became a sprint around the squared circle, Beverly maintaining her lead through three quarters of a lap before she threw her body under and scrambled to her feet, ready for Ronnie when she reentered.
As Treymane reached vertical, the vile Valley punted the Gangster at the juncture of her thighs to even the playing field…and then some. Bev glanced over her shoulder, seeing the blinded brunette trying to blink her vision back. She snatched a frozen Veronica by a wrist and her neck and spun the mewling Treymane into a heave that sent the doubled 'Ronnie shoulder-first into the oblivious Burlingame, Veronica SPEARING THE HOLY HELL out of her unaware teammate.
The FAWNatics groaned in sympathy at the ingenious maneuver by the challenger.
Bev shouted instructions at her twin and Aly NAILED a running knee to the temple of a kneeling Veronica. Alyson lays out Cosmic Noir like cord wood, blonde and brunette in single file next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, face-up. Aly dove across the legs of the leveled champions as Beverly took to a penthouse perch atop the nearest set of buckles.
Bev launches high through the Orlando sky, tucking at her zenith before widening into a fateful Frog Splash, CRASHING down across the tummies of both titlists. Beverly lies across both midriffs to make sure she’s got the legal woman for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Legs pinned to the mat by a helpful Alyson, both Lily and 'Ronnie rolled a shoulder up in opposite directions, thwarting the synchronous devilry of the natural clones.
The Valleys reared back on their haunches and pounded frustrated fists into the canvas, they'd been so. Goddamned. Close! After a moment Beverly caught her breath and so did Alyson. “Which one is legal?” she asked. “The fugly flapper, right?”
Aly nodded. “Yeah.”
“Ok, let's make sure that value-brand Sue can't do anything to--”
“Oh no you don't.” Carpenter interrupted the challengers' planning session. “Aly, all you're doing is getting back to your corner!”
Alyson started to argue, but Bev shook her head. “Don't worry about it, sis. I'll make the tag soon enough.”
The legal Valley made a move for Treymane only to settle on Burlingame instead, Beverly making a point to bounce the back of Lily's sull against the mat half a dozen times before she hauled her to verticality. The ref protested this attack as best he could, unfortunately for Cosmic Noir he decided that getting Alyson back to her corner was priority one which meant Bev had more than enough time to scoop the former Lightweight Champion up onto one shoulder.
A mere Body Slam wasn't nearly enough to keep a turd like Burlingame down for long so the resurgent Californian stomped over to a neutral corner and wedged her burden in tight against the buckles. In the next instant she crisscrossed Lily's lower legs in an 'X' beneath the top turnbuckle, thus securing the Tree of Woe. “Had a good run, you little twerp.” Valley treated her foe's crotch to a condescending little pat. “Too bad your stubby little legs aren't strong enough to outrun our greatness.”
“Wuh... we'll see about thaAARRRGGHHHH!”
Lily's defiance ended in an anguished shriek as Beverly fashioned her hand into a blade and brought it down between the champ's legs! Another cruel Karate Chop meant Lily was both nauseated and neutralized when Valley swung around to shift her attention to a slowly recovering Veronica Treymane. Keenly aware that she was currently in the Destroyer's blind spot, Beverly sprinted into the ropes behind Treymane, shot in on her six and snatched a handful of hair half a heartbeat before she leapt up and soared through the sky, Valley landing on her butt a few feet from the challenger's corner while 'Ronnie landed on her face, chest and tummy with a cringe-inducing THWHUMP!
Aly already had a hand extended for a tag, but Bev waited until she'd snatched a double handful of Treymane's hair and scraped her off the canvas. “Go to the top rope once I tag you in.” Beverly told her sister in the midst of pumping a few Kneelifts into Veronica's belly. “But not this one, the neutral corner. Opposite the hobbit.”
“You got it.” Aly didn't quite know what her sister had planned, but she trusted her instincts enough to follow through without question. Still holding onto the Dangerous Dame with both hands, Bev let out a triumphant shriek as she charged forward and BWUUUNGED her face into the top turnbuckle!
TAG!
Alyson ran down the apron as bade and began to scramble into place atop the high rent district while Beverly switched places with the champion and hopped into a seat on the same buckle she'd just used to bludgeon the big blonde. “UNNNNGGHH!” A quick Mule Kick sent Treymane backpedaling out into the open, thus allowing the now illegal Valley to claim her own perch on the top turnbuckle. Soon as it was hers she took to the skies, Beverly leading with her feet to DRIVE every bit of her hundred and twenty-five pounds into 'Ronnie's chest via a Missile Dropkick!
MISSILE DROPKICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCBv8hQu_ls
The high risk maneuver put Treymane on the deck in the center of the squared circle which meant she was in perfect position for Aly to get in some sky miles too, the second Valley Twin leaping from her perch with both legs extended to THAWHAM the back of one summer-tanned thigh down across Veronica's neck in a Guillotine Leg Drop!
GUILLOTINE LEG DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0LHiDtHYa4
Having rolled under the bottom rope after landing the Dropkick (she didn't want to offer Carpenter any excuse to delay the count) Beverly Valley squealed with delight and slapped the apron with both hands while Alyson caught Treymane's jolted stems in a tight bundle and held her down for the...
ONE...
TWO...
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Incredulity tore through the FAWN Arena when 'Ronnie nudged a shoulder off the mat, even the most die-hard Star Gazers thought the Gorgeous Gangster was finished! But whereas the mood on the far side of the guardrails was one of giddy delight, closer to the action the challengers found themselves gripped by a disgust so profound it was almost paralyzing. Inside the ropes Alyson snarled curses at Al while outside Beverly unleashed a flurry of furious kicks on the steel steps. It was the latter who steadied her nerves first, Bev forcing her voice to steady out before she called, “Don't waste your breath, Aly! Just get her up and get her to the corner, we'll finish her off together!”
“The hell you will!” Lily Burlingame taunted from her spot hanging from the corner. “The two of you aren't worth half a Veronica Treymane, unless you dorks are actually quintuplets she's gonna whoop your ass--”
“Shut your mouth, bitch!” Alyson barked at the Crimson Comet. “We're gonna wreck her and then we're gonna ruin--”
“Suuuuuuuuure you are.” Lily interrupted. “Everyone knows you two are crippled without Rachelle calling every play. At least Beverly's trying to lead, you're just a shadow following orders!”
Outside, Beverly was stalking around one corner on the way to shut Burlingame's mouth. “Don't listen to her, Aly! Keep your attention on Treyma--”
“Yeah, don't listen to me, Aly!” Burlingame chirped. “Be a good little sister and do as you're--”
Alyson let out an infuriated shriek and charged at the Star Strider full speed, the challenger meaning to put an end to that sass in the most vicious way possible. Of course intention and outcome don't always match, as Valley discovered first hand when Burlingame crunched her way up just high enough to JAB a Back Elbow into the blonde's mouth! Aly staggered, then flailed, her arms windmilling wildly when Lily caught her noggin in a Three Quarters Facelock. Finally slipping her legs free of that hellish knot, the Maroon Meteor braced both feet against the top buckle and pushed off as hard as she can, Lily swinging around in a half circle before laying out to THWHAM Alyson's face into the deck with a massive Ace Crusher!
Cursing aloud as Aly ate a faceful of canvas, Beverly dove under the bottom rope, popped to her feet and went straight for the meddling heir--THWHACK! Veronica Treymane exploded out of a weary crouch to turn Bev inside out with a monstrous Lariat!
Pushing to her knees in the wake of that thunderous collision, 'Ronnie looked to Lily and asked, “Was that the legal one?”
Burlingame shook her head 'no' and jerked a thumb at Alyson. “She's over there.”
“Ok, you wanna deal with this one?” Veronica indicated Beverly, but her eyes were already on Alyson.
“Can do.” Burlingame helped herself to Bev's locks and started to haul her upright.
“Lily, neither of you are legal!” Al interjected. “Just get back to your corner, I'll handle--”
He would've said 'Beverly' if the recently stupefied sister hadn't swatted Lily's hands out of her hair and then swiveled her head with a massive Bitch Slap! “Trash talking brat!” Valley grabbed a wrist and stepped backward, dropping a shoulder in the process. “I'll shut you up for good!” With that she launched the Star Strider at the ropes at top speeNO!
Burlingame dug in her heels and reversed the Whip to send Bev to the strands in her place! She didn't go alone though, the champ was hot on her heels, meaning Valley had just turned around when Lily THUMPED a huge Kneelift into her belly! Beverly grunted, lost her balance and dropped to a seat with her arms draped over the middle rope. Seeing this, Lily backed off a little ways, then charged in and grabbed hold of the top and middle ropes swung through like she was going for a Tiger Feint Kick, only instead of striking she Scissored her legs around the blonde's right arm and knotting her hands under Beverly's jaw! It wasn't quite Cosmic Entanglement, but that didn't stop the Californian from wailing to the rafters when Burlingame tightened down and leaaaaaaaaaaaaaned back, the tricksy lightweight using every bit of available leverage to stretch Valley's neck and shoulders!
ALMOST COSMIC ENTANGLEMENT @ 2:01
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXjFt_zhDFU
Elsewhere, Alyson Valley pushed to all fours, flipped the hair out of her eyes and spotted Burlingame throttling her sister with some sorta human knot in the ropes! She didn't stop to question why Carpenter hadn't put a stop to the flagrant abuse of the rules (he was clearly a biased idiot), she just clambered to boot-leather and shouted, “I'm coming, BeverHHRRRGGHHHH!”
Treymane swept in from behind, cinched her left arm around the challenger's neck and grabbed hold of her right bicep in the same instant she cupped her right hand against the back of Alyson's skull! Feet set firm, Veronica dipped low, then popped her hips and yanked Valley off the mat so she could begin to spin...and spin...and spin! Happy to repay the count delivered to their heroines earlier in the match, the crowd caught their bearings and began to note each rotation. 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN!'
The Pinstripe Powerhouse went up on tiptoe before dropping to one knee, an abrupt adjustment that planted Alyson on her butt in the middle of the ring! Arms thrashing wildly as she fought the fearful march of the Big Sleep, Valley slapped at Treymane's forearms and managed to rake her biceps a few times before she reached back in search of the Dame's ha--“GGGUUUURRRHHHHHK!” 'Ronnie went up on tiptoe again, only now her legs were set in a wide 'V' and she leaned all her weight forward against the smaller wrestler's head and shoulders!
Alyson was damned near folded in half, her forehead only inches from the mat as the Gorgeous Gangster continued to bear down with everything she-- Valley reached out and swatted the mat, desperate to get loose before she passed into unconsciousness!
Carpenter saw and called for the bell, but Treymane held on following the CLANG just to make sure there was no question of victory. She was still glommed on tight when Lily hurried over and swatted her shoulder. “You got her, 'Ronnie! It's OK to let go, she's done!”
Veronica let loose and stood up straight, the exhausted blonde throwing an arm around Burlingame's shoulders as the Announcer confirmed, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via submission and STILL the FAWN Tag Team Champions... COSMIC NOIR!”
Lily curled an arm across Treymane's lower back and patted her side while Al hurried over to offer them the straps.
“Twins, right?” Veronica huffed before hoisting the gold.
“Evil stepmoms, right?”
Lily agreed as she did the same.
“Right.”
Nothing more needed to be said so the victorious champions simply basked in roar of the crowd knowing their status as the brightest stars in the Tag Team Galaxy was secure for at least another night.