Post by hawkeye on Sept 6, 2021 15:46:09 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen, the following Tag Team contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit! Introducing first, at a combined weight of two hundred and twenty-six pounds and hailing from Eden Prairie Minnesota and Nice, France respectively, KRISTY SANDERS & COSETTE LEBLANC!”
No love for the former members of Kylie’s crew, indeed the massed disdain grew all the louder with the arrival of Velvet Revolver’s cover of ’Psycho Killer’. Kristy stomped into view shortly thereafter, the hardbody blonde sporting her favorite leopard print one-piece. Below the ‘skirtish’ bum-hugging bottoms of the strapless onesy was a flash of similarly spotted panties, and, not that many noticed, the ‘jungle cat’ concluded her attire with black pads and boots. Cozy appeared immediately thereafter, the longtime French dissident decked out in a metallic cherry red two-piece with matte black boots and knee-pads.
KRISTY SANDERS:
COSETTE LEBLANC:
Greeting the Orlando rabble with a mutual sigh of disgust, Chill No More exchanged a fist bump that transformed into defiantly upraised middle fingers as blonde and brunette started down the aisle. Hardly content with nonverbal contempt, Kristy and Cosette took it upon themselves to batter, belittle, berate and otherwise bytch at every aisle-side idiot that dared showed them anything less than the full measure of respect that was their proper due after dealing with the obnoxious megalomaniacs that were Kylie Sanders and Jasmine Washington. Kristy was in the midst of explaining this patently simple concept to some turd burglar in a Greater Good shirt when she noticed another sub-humanoid waving a sign proclaiming:
‘MISFIT TOYS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DARK BETWEEN THE STARS!’
“The f*ck you say.” Sanders 2.0 spat at the Cheeto stain that walked like a man. “Cozy and I are gonna crush those idiots into the mat and there’s precisely two things you can do about it.” She flexed one bicep, then the other while chiding, “Nothing. And like it.” LeBlanc was already in the squared circle so Kristy dismissed the idiot with a feigned Bytch Slap before wheeling around and racing the rest of the way to the ring. Diving under the bottom rope, the Leopardess skidded to the center and popped up beside Cozy just as the Frenchwoman raised her arms in a prophetic ‘V’. “Get with the program, losers.” Sanders sneered over the noise. “Now that the trash has taken itself out, Cozy and I are gonna run this place. And trust me, there’s nothing chill about what we’ve got planned.”
Message sent, blonde and brunette strode to their corner to watch the entryway and generally frustrate Nick Castle’s efforts to check their pads and boots.
The Announcer waited for the vitriol to fade a little before resuming his duties. “And introducing their opponents, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty-four pounds, hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively, they are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are COSMIC NOIR!
The low lights of the Crimson Comet’s entrance were interrupted by a tongue of flame sparking out of the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. And all at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of ’Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and the FAWNatics roared for all they were worth to greet the Galactic Gumshoes.
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
Lily waved a hand for the Star Gazers, then curled it into a fist and bumped knuckles with the Dangerous Dame. “Does it feel like Leggs has been ignoring us?”
Treymane raised the replica Thompson and angled it over one shoulder. “Yeah, and the fact that they’re doing it by losing to Dayna Erza feels kind of insulting. Wanna get their attention?”
“You know I do. Let’s make some noise.”
Lily raised a fist showing the invisible detonator and brought her thumb down to get an earth-shattering ‘KA-BOOM!’ from the FAWNatics and an explosive line of pyro from Veronica’s barking iron. When it fell silent Treymane and Burlingame blew smoke off the barrel, then started toward the ring with the Star Strider serving as vanguard.
For tonight’s battle against mean-spirited veterans, Lily wore a gleaming black variation of her usual midnight blue and starry white halter and bottoms, galaxies swirling and shimmering with her every move. Her knee pads were white on one side and black on the other, matching her togs perfectly. Behind her, the Gorgeous Gangster wore matching togs, the black replacing charcoal gray in her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt also gleamed bright white, as did her pads and wrist-tape, while her boots were a matching black.
They were about halfway to the squared circle when Burlingame raised her right hand and started a silent countdown.
Three.
Two.
One.
Blastoff!
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to leap onto the apron in a single bound. From there she raced along the narrow ledge to the far corner, the top of which she reached just as easily. This display of effortless acrobatics was capped off with a soaring and undeniably gorgeous back-flip which landed her perfectly within the confines of the squared circle. A couple heartbeats passed and Veronica slid in behind her, the Magnificent Moll having doffed her coat and Thompson as soon as the countdown began. Posing together for the hard camera, blonde and brunette urged the crowd to even greater noise before they headed to their corner for a last minute strategy session.
The sound of the bell was answered by the teams’ respective Lightweights, Lily and Cosette going for one another at a good clip. Dark eyes locked on the former Cherry Bomb, LeBlanc raised her hands to shoulder level and went up on tiptoe, telltale signs of an incoming Collar & Elbow Tie-Up that Burlingame answered in ki-- Cozy lunged in only to dip low and juke around her foe, not to secure a Waistlock or some other amateur Takedown, but for an, ahem, cheeky double pinch of Burlingame’s glutes!
Lily yelped, whipped around and lashed out with a backhand that would’ve taken LeBlanc’s nose off if the veteran hadn’t cleared out a heartbeat prior! “What the hell is your problem?” the heiress snapped as the pair began to circle.
Cozy shrugged, rubbed her thumb and forefinger together as if she were examining some exotic sample. “No problem at all, Lilee, I was zimply tezting a longtime locker-room rumor. That you are in fact, how do you Americans zay it? Ah yes, a candy-azz!”
Burlingame snorted, but continued to circle while exchanging occasional quick slaps to the shoulders and biceps with her opponent. “Well as long as we’re testing rumors, I might as well do the same. I mean, someone with your longevity can’t really have the weakest jaw in the Lightweight Division, right?”
LeBlanc’s dark eyes flashed and her hands curled into claws. “You’re far too zlow to ever find out, bytcHRGH!”
Lily shot in, pressed the heel of one palm to Cosette’s cheek and shoved hard enough to twist her head to the side! “I’m a lot of things, Cozy.” the Crimson Comet warned over the ‘ooooooohhhh’ of the crowd. “Too slow is not one of RRGGHH!”
LeBlanc snatched a double handful of hair and yanked Burlingame’s noggin from side to side as she tromped toward Kristy. “You are everything I zay you are, idiot!” Cosette sneered to the discombobulated brunette. “And I zay you are nothing but overrated traNNNGGGHH!”
Rather than tear free of the hair-pull, Lily laced her hands across the back of LeBlanc’s noggin and wedged the crown of her own skull in beneath the Frenchwoman’s chin. In the next instant she hopped up and dropped to her butt, the minor jolt on her tailbone little in comparison to the THWHUNK of bone on bone. The Jawbreaker had Cozy’s arms windmilling wildly and ungainly though it was, she maintained her balance. Might’ve been better if she hadn’t, since it would’ve pitched her into Kristy and a tag. As it was, Burlingame caught hold of one wrist and yanked her into a Kneelift that gouged the veteran’s tummy broadside.
“Hey, guess your jaw is a little stronger than I’d thought. That’s good!” Lily chirped in the midst of pointing the other brunette at one of the neutral corners. After a second Kneelift, she drew LeBlanc in close to whisper in her ear. “Hope your hair is just as strong, you’ve got a receipt coming later.” Promise made, she stepped back, dropped a shoulder and sent Cosette on her way with a heavy Irish Whip. LeBlanc’s footwork was as nimble as ever, however her head was still spinning from the Jawbreaker and thus she wasn’t able to do anything more than turn around before she hit the empty buckles with an unpleasant BWUUUNG.
Everything was still shivering the tiniest bit when Burlingame set off down her back-trail, the Roseate Rocket skipping through a few long strides before throwing herself into an effortless forward roll that ended with her springing into the other wrestler’s lap. Boots set against Cozy’s thighs, Lily cupped the back of her head and dropped back to the canvas, the heiress drawing in on herself only to piston both legs up and back to send LeBlanc soaring all the way across the ring via a HUGE Monkey Flip!
MONKEY FLIP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4bYA5ph85g
Kipping to boot-leather while Cozy swaddled the back of her head in both hands, Burlingame raised the invisible detonator high overhead and brought her thumb down to earn a raucous ‘BOOM!’ from the Slaybor Day crowd.
“Shake it off, Cozy.” Kristy called from the opposing corner. “Bytch doesn’t have what it takes to carry your bags, so get up and show her why!”
LeBlanc rolled to one knee and nodded, but her eyes never left Lily, who was waiting in the center of the squared circle. “Preening at my expenze eez bad for your health, brat.” the Frenchwoman threatened after she’d regained her footing. Lily extended a hand as if she meant to beckon Cosette forward, but instead she kissed the tips of her fingers, cocked a hip at the other brunette and SMACKED her be-smooched hand against the slim-thicc curve of one glute!
Infuriated by the disrespect, LeBlanc went straight for Burlingame and vice-versa, the pair of Lightweights coming together only to break apart when Cozy tossed her opponent to the deck with a blink and you’ll miss it Arm Drag. Lily was up just as fast and their second encounter commenced immediately with LeBlanc slung to the canvas with an identical Arm Drag. Cosette bounced up and went back for a decisive third round that proved anything but as the Lightweights locked arms and pulled back, the shared strain enough to freeze them in near identical crouches.
Lily grinned at the irritation on Cozy’s face, though her mood grew noticeably more sour when LeBlanc warmed her cheek with a disdainful Bytch Slap! “Get uzed to eet.” Cozy snapped at the younger woman. “I would not tolerate that zort of dizrespect from your bytch zeester, let alone--”
Lily slapped her right back, earning a glare of wide-eyed, ‘how dare you’ hatred from her opponent. “Deal with it, Cozy.” Burlingame chided. “Before I deal with HEY!”
Using their linked state to slip around behind the Star Strider, LeBlanc hooked her arms around Lily’s biceps, then dropped to her knees and pressed her forehead to the mat to stack the other brunette on her shoulders for…
ONE…
TWO…
Burlingame popped loose and scrambled to verticality with a full second to spare. Cozy did the same and a little bit more, the veteran pressing her hopping onto, then twisting around on the heiress’ shoulders and dipping forward to swing through Burlingame’s stems for a Victory Roll that stacked Lily high and NO! The Roseate Rocket dropped to her knees as LeBlanc passed through her gams and sat down hard on her opponent’s chest, thus transforming the Victory Roll into a Reverse Matchbook that had Cozy wriggling through…
ONE…
TWO…
LeBlanc powered free, righted herself and took to the skies with a gorgeous Standing Dropkick that would’ve been more effective if it’d struck anything other than the soles of Lily’s boots. Alas, Burlingame had the exact same idea and the exact same execution meaning the mirrored Dropkicks landed with all the force of a gentle shove.
They rose as one, though Burlingame was smiling and Cosette most definitely was not. “What’s wrong, sour-puss?” Lily chided. “You’re keeping up just fine, aren’t you having fun?”
Instead of answering with words, LeBlanc flipped Lily a double bird, then raised ‘em overhead in an unmistakable challenge. “Zhut your mouth and wrezzle.” she demanded. “I grow tired of your prattle.”
Burlingame snorted, but did as bade to engage Cosette in a Test of Stren--“OOOOOOWWWWWW!” LeBlanc dropped her hands to Lily’s chest and put her up on tiptoes with a hard-hearted titty twister! The initial shock didn’t last more than a few seconds, but it was enough time for Cozy to spike a Kneelift into Burlingame’s stomach and switch over to a Side Headlock.
“Yeah, perfect! Bring that punk over here!” Kristy chortled as her partner approached their corner. Transitioning to a Front Facelock after she’d ground Lily’s temple against the point of her hip, LeBlanc pointed her back toward the buckles, then dipped her knees and popped her hips to BWUUUUNG Burlingame spine-first into the middle and bottom turnbuckles courtesy of a Snap Suplex! Lily landed awkwardly on the back of her head and shoulders, a predicament made all the more worrisome because LeBlanc still had hold of the Facelock and used it to draw the vulnerable former champion into a Small Package good for…
BUCKLE SNAP SUPLEX & SMALL PACKAGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uan_1Jg0Z2I
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Veronica started through the ropes only to draw back when Burlingame scrabbled loose of the pin with half a second to spare. Unfortunately she was still deep in enemy territory, as became apparent when Kristy slipped through the ropes and hauled the Star Strider up in a burly Full Nelson. “Had a good grip the first time, Cozy. You just didn’t twist hard enough.” she snickered after treating Lily to a rough shake. “Give this loser another taste!”
More than happy to do so, LeBlanc raaaaaaaaaked her talons down Burlingame’s décolletage and promptly reapplied her pincer grip, the veteran brunette plucking and pulling until Burlingame was yowling and Castle had reached ‘FOUR!’ on his count.
“Go on, take a look at the damage done.” Sanders 2.0 sneered as she forced Lily’s chin into the top of her own cleavage and marched her out to the middle of the ring.
Burlingame didn’t have much choice in the matter, not that she wasted much time lamenting her circumstances. Instead she raised her arms as high as she could, went up on tiptoe and “NGH! NGH! NGH!” Kristy must’ve seen the escape attempt coming because she stuffed three quick Kneelifts into the smaller wrestler’s glutes, effectively thwarting the effort.
“You better hope she’s tougher than she looks.” Kristy taunted Veronica as she continued to shake the Full Nelson back and forth. “Otherwise you’re gonna collect a paycheck for hanging out on the apron all night!”
“Oh, I’ll earn my fair share for kicking your ass, Daisy.” Treymane promised, her grip on the tag rope showing white at the knuckle. Clearly unconcerned, Sanders blew ‘Ronnie a kiss, planted a smooch on the crown of Lily’s noggin, then hunched down and muscled her burden skyward. Lily’s legs swung up while the rest of her came down when Kristy sank to one knee and THWHUMPED Burlingame’s bum atop the posted joint in a modified Atomic Drop!
Lily’s legs went wobbly and she would’ve gone down if not for the Full Nelson, which Kristy relinquished so she could muscle the heiress onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. “Oh, shut up assholes!” Sanders 2.0 demanded of the FAWNatics as they showered her with boos. “This piece of garbage was never going to beat us, ya know why?” Kristy turned a full circle to see if anyone in attendance could provide a suitable answer and when they did not she trained her attention on Treymane. Twisting her hips to the left, the Minnesota Mauler snapped to the right and effortlessly shifted Lily from across her shoulders to under her right arm, Sanders hooking her prey around the upper thighs to put even more force into the Sidewalk Slam that THWHAMMED the Crimson Comet onto the mat! Still holding onto her prey’s legs following the Eden Prairie Plunge, Kristy folded Lily in half with a Back Press good for the…
EDEN PRAIRIE PLUNGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpxf7g70qxI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Burlingame twisted loose to earn at least another few seconds of match time as well as some aggressive abrasion when Sanders snatched a double handful of hair and scraaaaaaaaaaped her face back and forth. “Eat it, bytch! Eat it, eat it, eat it!”
Lily and Veronica both protested this most vehemently, alas the former’s bitter canvas feast continued until Nick tolled another ‘FOUR!’ Switching from hair to shoulder-straps so the zebra would stop bytching at her, the Leopardess got to her feet and forced Lily to do the same moments before she scooped her onto one shoulder and tossed her right back down with a big Body Slam! Burlingame arched on impact so Sanders stomped on her stomach, then stomped it again when she walked over to an empty corner and slipped out onto the apron. The jeers of the Slaybor Day throng didn‘t bother her at all, indeed they seemed to spur Kristy to claim her perch in the high rent district a few beats quicker than usual. Rising to her full height in time with a swell of noise from the crowd, the Minnesota Mauler treated ‘Ronnie to an insolent middle finger before she took to the skies, the hardbody blonde vaulting into the overhead lights where she crunched in on herself, then stretched out full length to ensure she was as taut as a bowstring when she THAWHAMMED down on the recently vacated canvas!
“GUUUUUUUHHHHHH!” Sanders gaped in nauseated anguish as the residual impact bounced her to a wobbly semblance of verticality. Turning toward her corner on instinct rather than conscious thought, the blonde spotted Lily scrambling to her feet and cursed, “Snuuuhhh… sneaking bytch!” Instinct took over again and she lunged for the heiress, a choice she regretted the instant Burlingame leapt up and planted the soles of her boots in the taller wrestler’s tummy!
Kristy crumpled to her knees with both arms crisscrossed over her roiling gut while Lily ran the ropes and came back at a dead run. She didn’t bother to alter her course until the last second when she hopped over and hooked her shins against Sanders’ shoulders so she landed on her knees in relative comfort while the Leopardess was THWHONKED flat on her face, victim of a Reverse Meteora!
REVERSE METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfsn89ejIik
The crowd wanted a cover, but Lily knew things weren’t finished yet so she tucked herself into a nimble forward roll and sprang toward Treymane to ‘clap’ the Gorgeous Gangster into the match for the first time! Bouncing into the ropes as soon as she was on the proper side of ‘em, ‘Ronnie loped at the prone Sanders and did some flying of her own, a lower but much more effective Splash that brought the former World Champion crashing down atop Kristy’s lower back.
This crushing compression did nothing for the already breathless battler, who could do little more than wheeze as Treymane hauled her upright with a double handful of hair. “Looks like your luck’s gone bad, Daisy.” Veronica told Kristy after she’d doubled her over with a Kneelift to the tummy. “And I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna stay that way for a good long while.”
Positioned snug against Sanders’ left side, Treymane grabbed that wrist and forced it through the smaller blonde’s thighs so she could take hold with her right hand. Once that was secure she slipped her left arm beneath Kristy’s right bicep and wrenched it back at an awkward angle to complete the Pumphandle. Hooks set, she pivoted to glare at Cozy not to intimidate but to keep an eye on her for the next few seconds. LeBlanc fumed and urged her partner on without making any effort to leave the corner, so the Pinstripe Powerhouse muscled Sanders 2.0 to chest-level, then dropped to one knee and earned an anguished ‘UUNNNGH!’ from her burden with the Journey into Fear!
Kristy finished her trip on all fours, alas she didn’t get more than a second to rest before Treymane caught hold of a Front Facelock and muscled her back to boot-leather. Tossing Sanders’ near arm across her shoulders, Treymane grabbed a handful of leopard-print trunks and hoisted her up and over, Kristy floating through to land on her feet behind Veronica only to return forcibly to the deck when Treymane cupped opposing chin in both hands and laid out full length, thus PLANTING the back of Kristy’s skull with a heavy Neckbreaker! Now she did go for the cover, Treymane sliding into a Crossbody that let her hook the far leg while keeping an eye on Cosette through the…
JOURNEY INTO FEAR & SUPLEX-LIFTED NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWitZvEYdF0
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Kristy got a shoulder off the mat to send LeBlanc back to the corner without having to uncork the Double Axehandle she’d been prepping. “Wise choice, Daisy.” Veronica told the brunette once she was back on the apron. “Long as you stay there you’re doing better than this mook.”
LeBlanc muttered something in French that Treymane ignored, as she’d just claimed possession of Sanders’ left foot and yanked it off the mat so she could circle around it in a very familiar do-si-do sort of twist. Pausing with her backside to the flattened blonde, ‘Ronnie grabbed Kristy’s right foot so she could trap her left shin in the pit of her right knee. It was a Figure-Four of sorts, albeit not the traditional application because the Pinstripe Powerhouse dropped to a seat while facing away from her adversary. Still holding the gammy knot in place with her hands, Veronica braced her right shin against Kristy’s, which tightened the trap enough for the Destroyer to press her palms to the canvas.
“Fuuuuhhh… f*cking bytch.” the twinges in Kristy’s legs hadn’t yet overwhelmed the aches in her neck and gut, meaning she was only vaguely aware of Treymane’s twisty plans. “I’m gonna mess you up as soon as I AAAARRRRGGGGHHH AAAAAHHHHHH!”
PINSTRIPE PRISON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-YXQCMYTQ
Veronica set her left heel against the inside of Sanders’ right thigh and puuuuuussssshed out to put immediate strain on her opponent’s knee and quadriceps. “Soon as you what, Daisy?” Treymane smirked over Kristy’s distressed caterwauling. “After you tap out? I’m not sure it’s going to mean as much once the bell has sounded.”
“How are you doing, Kristy? Hanging in there ok?” Nick asked the Minnesota Mauler after several seconds of ineffectual wriggling didn’t free her from the Pinstripe Prison.
“I’m fine!” Kristy barked. She’d rolled onto her left hip so she could grab at Treymane’s braced foot, though this had yielded no results thus far. “Little pinstripe bytch doesn’t have what it takes to keep me doOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!”
The Magnificent Moll swatted Sanders’ hand away, reset her own hands and lifted her backside off the mat by a good six inches. Shrieking to the rafters as her knee was wrenched in new and unpleasant ways, Kristy was so focused on the pain that she didn’t realize her shoulders were down until Castle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
She shot a hand into the air and waggled a finger (the middle one) ‘no, no, no!’ in response to the crowd’s chant of ‘TAP!’ Satisfied she was putting some real hurt on her opponent’s stems, ‘Ronnie returned her butt to the mat and increased the pressure on Sanders’ right knee. “Give it up, Daisy.” she told the suffering Minnesotan. “The loser’s purse isn’t worth a hyper-extended knNNNNGGGGGHHHH!”
Treymane (and everyone else for that matter) had been rightly focused on Kristy, meaning she was caught flat-footed when Cosette skittered into the ring and THWHACKED a Basement Dropkick to the back of Veronica’s skull!
“HEY!” Lily vaulted over the ropes and was halfway across the ring by the time Castle registered the cheap shot, but damned if he didn’t manage to hook an arm around Burlingame’s waist before she could catch a retreating LeBlanc.
“Knock that crap off, Cozy!” he barked to the Frenchwoman. “And you Lily, get back to your corner. Now!” The Roseate Rocket wasn’t the slightest bit interested in doing so after the brazen cheap shot, but she’d been working tag matches long enough to understand that a distracted referee did no one any good. Grudgingly, she calmed down and raised her hands to shoulder-level before returning to their corner.
As for the legal members of each team, Treymane was on one knee with both hands in Kristy’s hair, who had made it to all fours, or rather three of four, as she’d stretched her right leg out in hopes of easing the worst of the kinks. This might’ve done some good with a few more seconds rest, alas the Gorgeous Gangster stood up and forced Sanders to do the same, Kristy awkwardly hopping on her left foot so she could keep all the weight off-- “AAARRRGGHH!” The Leopardess’ might’ve been down a leg, but her claws were still razor sharp, as Veronica discovered when they flashed across her eyes!
Lily heard ’Ronnie cry out but her positioning was such that she didn’t see the infraction, only the aftermath when Sanders 2.0 snatched a Front Facelock and dropped backward to THUNK the crown of Treymane’s skull into the canvas with a DDT! Kristy scrabbled into place atop the big blonde immediately, drawing the far leg into a tight cradle while pinning the near leg down with her own tweaked stem. Heart suddenly in her throat, Burlingame hopped over the ropes and hoped she wasn’t too late to beat the…
DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqczdQSmu4Q
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Most Dangerous Dame kicked loose without need of any assistance, though this detail was mostly lost on the FAWNatics as their attention had been diverted by Cosette, who came from outta nowhere to SMASH the encroaching Lily to the deck with a gorgeous Springboard Crossbody!
“Dammit Cozy, back to your corner!” Nick ordered the veteran even as he watched her hoisting the heiress to boot-leather via a handful of hair. “Just az soon az I take out thee trazh, Monsieur Castle.” Collecting Burlingame at trunks and tresses, LeBlanc rushed the ropes and hurled her foe between top and middle to send Lily to the floor with an undignified PLOP.
Meanwhile, Kristy treated Veronica to a little assistive hair-pulling of her own and, seeing that the official was distracted, quickly pumped a trio of Kneelifts into the center of Treymane’s trunks! “That’s what you f*cking get.” Sanders sneered in ‘Ronnie’s ear as the taller wrestler slumped forward into the loose Bear Hug Kristy’d prepared for her. “And believe me when I say, that’s just the beginning.”
“Chuuuhhh…cheap Daisy.” Veronica groaned as she tried to answer with a Hug of her own. “You won’t get away with ooohhhNNNNGGGGHHH!”
The Leopardess slid her coil south so that her knotted hands were just below the curve of Treymane’s glutes. In the next instant she muscled the former World Champion off her feet and took a knee (the wounded one) to DRIVE Veronica’s crotch onto the post of her thigh with an Inverted Atomic Drop!
“Tag me, Kriztee!” Cosette shouted to her partner when she saw ‘Ronnie’s face go green after the latest nauseating impact. “Let’s finizh thee beetch!”
A similar thought had crossed Kristy’s mind so she grit her teeth and returned to verticality with Treymane slung over one shoulder like a sack of laundry. Counting on adrenaline to help her overwhelm the throbbing anguish in her right knee, Sanders 2.0 let out a bellowing war cry and rushed her corner whereupon reaching she BWUUUNGED Veronica against the buckles with something that was half Spear and half Shoulderblock!
Cozy tagged herself in at once, not that this stopped Kristy from damned near folding Treymane in half with a dozen more Shoulderblocks. “Can you leeft her up? Get her over your knee?” LeBlanc asked the Minnesota Mauler in the midst of climbing to the high rent district.
Kristy nodded, grabbed a double handful of hair and peeled the Pinstripe Powerhouse out of the buckles. “Hell yeah, I can. Let’s snap this loser in half.”
Plan set, Sanders bent at the waist, looped her left arm around Veronica’s midsection and ‘hupped’ her up parallel to the canvas only for a bit of gruesome genuflection to deposit the diminished Destroyer across her thigh via Backbreaker! Treymane groaned and tried to roll free, alas Kristy corralled her at chin and knee to ensure there was nowhere to go. Nowhere that was, until Cozy leapt from the top rope and THWHUMPED a massive Double Stomp onto the blonde’s defenseless chest! Veronica fell free in a shuddering heap and LeBlanc was right there to collect her legs in a bundling Back Press that pointed her foe’s cheeks to the sky for a domineering…
BACKBREAKER & DOUBLE STOMP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek7kxH5MXyE
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lily dove under the bottom rope with a ground-skimming Shoulderblock that knocked Cozy out of her perch before Castle could count ‘THREE!’
“You obnoxious little shyt!” Kristy pounded the interloper with a Double Axehandle between the shoulders before Burlingame could even think about returning to the corner. “That’s the last time you’re going to f*ck with our business!”
A Toe Kick followed by a heavy pair of Overhand Forearm Smashes ensured the Star Strider could muster no resistance when Sanders took possession of one wrist and sent her barreling into the far corner courtesy an Irish Whip. By now Castle was shouting for both Kristy and Lily to get the hell out of the ring, unfortunately the former had no interest in returning to the apron so she took off after the woozy heiress and SPLATTERED her against the turnbuckles with a huge tummy-on-tits Avalanche Splash!
About the time Sanders was making Lily pay for her interference, Cosette LeBlanc regained her feet for the sole (no pun intended) purpose of putting the boots to Veronica Treymane. The Frenchwoman stomped away at every inch of the big blonde, yet even several well-placed blows to the back of the head couldn’t stop the Gorgeous Gangster from struggling to all fours. Coming to understand that she’d need bigger firepower to put Treymane down for good, Cozy capped her bludgeoning efforts with a Double Stomp between the shoulders, then raced to the nearest corner and sprang to the top turnbuckle in a single bound.
“Get up!” LeBlanc shouted down at the recovering blonde. “Get up zo I can put you right back down!”
Treymane didn’t acknowledge the challenge directly, but she continued to rise in spite of the shouted warnings from the FAWNatics. Surveying the squared circle the way a general might survey a captured country, Cosette spared a glance to Kristy and was pleased to see her mounting the middle rope, presumably to rain fists down on Lily Burlingame’s snotty little face. Some motion closer in redirected the brunette’s attention to a now vertical Veronica, so LeBlanc gathered her reserves and leapt out into the void, the lithesome Lightweight pivoting ninety-degrees in midair to SMECK every bit of her weight into Treymane’s chest with a Diving Crossbody that took both women to the mat for--‘OOOOOOOOHHHH!’
The Pinstripe Powerhouse lived up to her reputation by somersaulting through the landing to clamber to her feet with Cozy still strapped to her chest! Stunned by the abrupt reversal of fortune, LeBlanc’s shout of protest came out a yowl of pain when Treymane tightened her grasp and began to thum-thum-thum-THUMP Kneelifts into the Lightweight’s ribs. Half a dozen unanswered shots gave ‘Ronnie the confidence to toss Cozy up onto her shoulders, not into a Fireman’s Carry but the stall position for a--THA-WHAM! The Powerbomb drove LeBlanc into the mat like a lawn dart, the toes of the brunette’s boots pointing up into the lights before the last of the residual momentum sent her toppling over onto her belly.
Over in the opposite corner, Kristy had just unloaded a third punch to Burlingame’s hairline when the meeting of Cozy on canvas caused the Leopardess to glance over one shoulder. “Damn Cozy, it sounds like you--freakin’ shyt. Hey bytch, get the hell away from HEYNNNGGGHHH!”
Lily slipped out from beneath Sanders 2.0 and celebrated her freedom by snapping a high kick into the pit of Kristy’s right knee! The blonde’s leg buckled, but she managed to hold her perch by grabbing the top rope in both ha--“EERRGGGHH! GODDAMMIT BYTCH, LEGGO OF MY HAIR!”
Burlingame, who had reached through Sanders’ parted stems to grab a double fistful of locks, ultimately obliged the demand but not until she’d pulled Kristy’s noggin down far enough to wedge the nape of her neck into place against the top turnbuckle. Though it looked complicated and quite painful, Lily’s trap actually featured a remarkably simple escape. All Kristy had to do was let go of the top rope or hop down from the second. But in all the surprise and confusion she did neither, meaning the Minnesota Mauler ended up with a perfect (albeit upside down) view of the Super Kick Lily flicked through her legs to THWHACK! against her chin!
TURNBUCKLE TRAPPED SUPER KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG2B06OzDqE
The concussive impact did what Sanders 2.0 could not, free her from the corner to tumble into an awkward seat with the back of her head resting against the bottom buckle. This arrangement earned a loud roar from the FAWNatics that Lily didn’t quite understand until she looked to the far side of the ring and saw that Cosette occupied an identical seat in the opposite corner. Catching her partner’s eye, Burlingame tipped Treymane a mischievous wink and asked, “You thinking what I’m thinking, ‘Ronnie?”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse looked slightly confused until the heiress shimmied her hips. Then she rolled her eyes and replied, “Sure. What the hell, right?”
“Right!”
Strutting to their respective corners, the ladies of Cosmic Noir turned around, grabbed hold of the top rope in both hands and earned a cacophonous cheer from the crowd with stereo Stink Faces, the response to their energetic butt buffing so loud it almost overwhelmed the wails of sputtering protest from Cozy and Kristy.
Having long since stopped trying to regain anything like full control of the bout, Nick Castle took up residence in the middle of the ring and started to count.
“Switch on four!” Lily called to Veronica.
“What?”
“Switch on four! This bronco needs busting!”
“Jeeze Lil’, you can’t be seri--”
“FOUR!”
The Crimson Comet broke into a run and the Magnificent Moll did the same, the former deftly juking around the latter before both ladies executed low-flying leaps that culminated in heavy ass-on-chest landings! Tethered to their mounts via sturdy grips on the top rope, Burlingame and Treymane did indeed do some industrial strength busting, brunette and blonde bouncing in place to smash their opponent’s chests and grrrrrrriiinnnd their faces against encroaching undercarriage.
Another ‘FOUR!’ from the official brought both rides to an end, but where Kristy was allowed to slop onto the apron and ultimately the floor below, Cosette wasn’t so lucky. “Get up, baby. We’re not finished with you yet.” LeBlanc tried to protest, alas the rapid application of Powerbomb, Stink Face and Bronco Buster left her little better than a dishrag ready for a proper wringing. Switching over to a Wristlock as soon as she had the brunette upright, Burlingame slung Cosette to Treymane, who stopped her cold with a hand wrapped around her throat. After slinging Cozy’s near arm over her shoulder, Veronica marched her back the way she’d came, then whipped around so her back was to the corner where Lily had sprang to the high rent district only moments prior.
With the Star Strider properly aligned, Veronica dipped her knees and muscled LeBlanc skyward like gravity had forgotten her too. Burlingame took flight just as Cozy reached her apex, the former Lightweight Champion bringing both knees to hip level so she could land with her shins astride LeBlanc’s shoulders to add her own considerable momentum to the brunette’s descent. The momentous scope of the Dark Between the Stars THWHAMMED Cosette down in an insensate starfish that didn’t so much as burble when Lily somersaulted away or when Veronica slid atop her chest in a domineering Crossbody more than good enough to earn the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Treymane rose up and met Lily for a knuckle bump / invisible detonator, the ‘BOOM!’ coming as the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via pin-fall… COSMIC NOIR!”
Lily and Veronica allowed the Senior Official to raise their hands, but when he suggested they take a victory lap, Treymane asked for a microphone instead. Duly equipped within seconds, she turned to the hard camera and said, “ Mariel! Valerie! You have something we want. While you two have been throwing yourself at Dayna Erza, Lily and I have been racking up Tag Team wins. We want those titles, Daisies. You may have beaten us in the past, but those losses made us mad. You two? You’ve become complacent. Thinking those legs of yours are long enough to rule over the rest of the division without actually having to defend the titles. But at ‘Mania? Well, I’ll let Lily tell you. It was her idea after all.”
She handed the mic off to the Crimson Comet, who considered her words for some time before speaking. “We’re going to make you feel small, ladies. We’re going to wear you down, beat you up and…long story short? At ‘Mania, Cosmic Noir is going to cut Legs Inc. off at the goddamned knees.”
Lily tossed the mic to Nick, then joined ‘Ronnie in strapping an invisible belt around her waist just to make sure McGinty and Stipanovic knew their ‘Mania destiny was written in the stars.
No love for the former members of Kylie’s crew, indeed the massed disdain grew all the louder with the arrival of Velvet Revolver’s cover of ’Psycho Killer’. Kristy stomped into view shortly thereafter, the hardbody blonde sporting her favorite leopard print one-piece. Below the ‘skirtish’ bum-hugging bottoms of the strapless onesy was a flash of similarly spotted panties, and, not that many noticed, the ‘jungle cat’ concluded her attire with black pads and boots. Cozy appeared immediately thereafter, the longtime French dissident decked out in a metallic cherry red two-piece with matte black boots and knee-pads.
KRISTY SANDERS:
COSETTE LEBLANC:
Greeting the Orlando rabble with a mutual sigh of disgust, Chill No More exchanged a fist bump that transformed into defiantly upraised middle fingers as blonde and brunette started down the aisle. Hardly content with nonverbal contempt, Kristy and Cosette took it upon themselves to batter, belittle, berate and otherwise bytch at every aisle-side idiot that dared showed them anything less than the full measure of respect that was their proper due after dealing with the obnoxious megalomaniacs that were Kylie Sanders and Jasmine Washington. Kristy was in the midst of explaining this patently simple concept to some turd burglar in a Greater Good shirt when she noticed another sub-humanoid waving a sign proclaiming:
‘MISFIT TOYS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE DARK BETWEEN THE STARS!’
“The f*ck you say.” Sanders 2.0 spat at the Cheeto stain that walked like a man. “Cozy and I are gonna crush those idiots into the mat and there’s precisely two things you can do about it.” She flexed one bicep, then the other while chiding, “Nothing. And like it.” LeBlanc was already in the squared circle so Kristy dismissed the idiot with a feigned Bytch Slap before wheeling around and racing the rest of the way to the ring. Diving under the bottom rope, the Leopardess skidded to the center and popped up beside Cozy just as the Frenchwoman raised her arms in a prophetic ‘V’. “Get with the program, losers.” Sanders sneered over the noise. “Now that the trash has taken itself out, Cozy and I are gonna run this place. And trust me, there’s nothing chill about what we’ve got planned.”
Message sent, blonde and brunette strode to their corner to watch the entryway and generally frustrate Nick Castle’s efforts to check their pads and boots.
The Announcer waited for the vitriol to fade a little before resuming his duties. “And introducing their opponents, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty-four pounds, hailing from Bridgeport, California and Stovington, Vermont respectively, they are the Neo-Noir Knockout VERONICA TREYMANE and the Girl that Gravity Forgot, LILY BURLINGAME! Together they are COSMIC NOIR!
The low lights of the Crimson Comet’s entrance were interrupted by a tongue of flame sparking out of the floor at the bottom of the ramp and burning rapidly up its wick until it reached the pool of darkness at the top. And all at once the predicted explosion of noise and pyro went off, a huge KA-BOOM of red bursting loud enough to swallow the introductory riff of ’Comeback Kid’. When the lights came back the music immediately cut to the first verse of ‘Machine Gun Blues’ and the FAWNatics roared for all they were worth to greet the Galactic Gumshoes.
LILY BURLINGAME:
VERONICA TREYMANE:
Lily waved a hand for the Star Gazers, then curled it into a fist and bumped knuckles with the Dangerous Dame. “Does it feel like Leggs has been ignoring us?”
Treymane raised the replica Thompson and angled it over one shoulder. “Yeah, and the fact that they’re doing it by losing to Dayna Erza feels kind of insulting. Wanna get their attention?”
“You know I do. Let’s make some noise.”
Lily raised a fist showing the invisible detonator and brought her thumb down to get an earth-shattering ‘KA-BOOM!’ from the FAWNatics and an explosive line of pyro from Veronica’s barking iron. When it fell silent Treymane and Burlingame blew smoke off the barrel, then started toward the ring with the Star Strider serving as vanguard.
For tonight’s battle against mean-spirited veterans, Lily wore a gleaming black variation of her usual midnight blue and starry white halter and bottoms, galaxies swirling and shimmering with her every move. Her knee pads were white on one side and black on the other, matching her togs perfectly. Behind her, the Gorgeous Gangster wore matching togs, the black replacing charcoal gray in her usual boy-cut pinstripe trunks and bustier. The accompanying suspenders and belt also gleamed bright white, as did her pads and wrist-tape, while her boots were a matching black.
They were about halfway to the squared circle when Burlingame raised her right hand and started a silent countdown.
Three.
Two.
One.
Blastoff!
The Girl That Gravity Forgot went flying down the rest of the ramp to leap onto the apron in a single bound. From there she raced along the narrow ledge to the far corner, the top of which she reached just as easily. This display of effortless acrobatics was capped off with a soaring and undeniably gorgeous back-flip which landed her perfectly within the confines of the squared circle. A couple heartbeats passed and Veronica slid in behind her, the Magnificent Moll having doffed her coat and Thompson as soon as the countdown began. Posing together for the hard camera, blonde and brunette urged the crowd to even greater noise before they headed to their corner for a last minute strategy session.
The sound of the bell was answered by the teams’ respective Lightweights, Lily and Cosette going for one another at a good clip. Dark eyes locked on the former Cherry Bomb, LeBlanc raised her hands to shoulder level and went up on tiptoe, telltale signs of an incoming Collar & Elbow Tie-Up that Burlingame answered in ki-- Cozy lunged in only to dip low and juke around her foe, not to secure a Waistlock or some other amateur Takedown, but for an, ahem, cheeky double pinch of Burlingame’s glutes!
Lily yelped, whipped around and lashed out with a backhand that would’ve taken LeBlanc’s nose off if the veteran hadn’t cleared out a heartbeat prior! “What the hell is your problem?” the heiress snapped as the pair began to circle.
Cozy shrugged, rubbed her thumb and forefinger together as if she were examining some exotic sample. “No problem at all, Lilee, I was zimply tezting a longtime locker-room rumor. That you are in fact, how do you Americans zay it? Ah yes, a candy-azz!”
Burlingame snorted, but continued to circle while exchanging occasional quick slaps to the shoulders and biceps with her opponent. “Well as long as we’re testing rumors, I might as well do the same. I mean, someone with your longevity can’t really have the weakest jaw in the Lightweight Division, right?”
LeBlanc’s dark eyes flashed and her hands curled into claws. “You’re far too zlow to ever find out, bytcHRGH!”
Lily shot in, pressed the heel of one palm to Cosette’s cheek and shoved hard enough to twist her head to the side! “I’m a lot of things, Cozy.” the Crimson Comet warned over the ‘ooooooohhhh’ of the crowd. “Too slow is not one of RRGGHH!”
LeBlanc snatched a double handful of hair and yanked Burlingame’s noggin from side to side as she tromped toward Kristy. “You are everything I zay you are, idiot!” Cosette sneered to the discombobulated brunette. “And I zay you are nothing but overrated traNNNGGGHH!”
Rather than tear free of the hair-pull, Lily laced her hands across the back of LeBlanc’s noggin and wedged the crown of her own skull in beneath the Frenchwoman’s chin. In the next instant she hopped up and dropped to her butt, the minor jolt on her tailbone little in comparison to the THWHUNK of bone on bone. The Jawbreaker had Cozy’s arms windmilling wildly and ungainly though it was, she maintained her balance. Might’ve been better if she hadn’t, since it would’ve pitched her into Kristy and a tag. As it was, Burlingame caught hold of one wrist and yanked her into a Kneelift that gouged the veteran’s tummy broadside.
“Hey, guess your jaw is a little stronger than I’d thought. That’s good!” Lily chirped in the midst of pointing the other brunette at one of the neutral corners. After a second Kneelift, she drew LeBlanc in close to whisper in her ear. “Hope your hair is just as strong, you’ve got a receipt coming later.” Promise made, she stepped back, dropped a shoulder and sent Cosette on her way with a heavy Irish Whip. LeBlanc’s footwork was as nimble as ever, however her head was still spinning from the Jawbreaker and thus she wasn’t able to do anything more than turn around before she hit the empty buckles with an unpleasant BWUUUNG.
Everything was still shivering the tiniest bit when Burlingame set off down her back-trail, the Roseate Rocket skipping through a few long strides before throwing herself into an effortless forward roll that ended with her springing into the other wrestler’s lap. Boots set against Cozy’s thighs, Lily cupped the back of her head and dropped back to the canvas, the heiress drawing in on herself only to piston both legs up and back to send LeBlanc soaring all the way across the ring via a HUGE Monkey Flip!
MONKEY FLIP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4bYA5ph85g
Kipping to boot-leather while Cozy swaddled the back of her head in both hands, Burlingame raised the invisible detonator high overhead and brought her thumb down to earn a raucous ‘BOOM!’ from the Slaybor Day crowd.
“Shake it off, Cozy.” Kristy called from the opposing corner. “Bytch doesn’t have what it takes to carry your bags, so get up and show her why!”
LeBlanc rolled to one knee and nodded, but her eyes never left Lily, who was waiting in the center of the squared circle. “Preening at my expenze eez bad for your health, brat.” the Frenchwoman threatened after she’d regained her footing. Lily extended a hand as if she meant to beckon Cosette forward, but instead she kissed the tips of her fingers, cocked a hip at the other brunette and SMACKED her be-smooched hand against the slim-thicc curve of one glute!
Infuriated by the disrespect, LeBlanc went straight for Burlingame and vice-versa, the pair of Lightweights coming together only to break apart when Cozy tossed her opponent to the deck with a blink and you’ll miss it Arm Drag. Lily was up just as fast and their second encounter commenced immediately with LeBlanc slung to the canvas with an identical Arm Drag. Cosette bounced up and went back for a decisive third round that proved anything but as the Lightweights locked arms and pulled back, the shared strain enough to freeze them in near identical crouches.
Lily grinned at the irritation on Cozy’s face, though her mood grew noticeably more sour when LeBlanc warmed her cheek with a disdainful Bytch Slap! “Get uzed to eet.” Cozy snapped at the younger woman. “I would not tolerate that zort of dizrespect from your bytch zeester, let alone--”
Lily slapped her right back, earning a glare of wide-eyed, ‘how dare you’ hatred from her opponent. “Deal with it, Cozy.” Burlingame chided. “Before I deal with HEY!”
Using their linked state to slip around behind the Star Strider, LeBlanc hooked her arms around Lily’s biceps, then dropped to her knees and pressed her forehead to the mat to stack the other brunette on her shoulders for…
ONE…
TWO…
Burlingame popped loose and scrambled to verticality with a full second to spare. Cozy did the same and a little bit more, the veteran pressing her hopping onto, then twisting around on the heiress’ shoulders and dipping forward to swing through Burlingame’s stems for a Victory Roll that stacked Lily high and NO! The Roseate Rocket dropped to her knees as LeBlanc passed through her gams and sat down hard on her opponent’s chest, thus transforming the Victory Roll into a Reverse Matchbook that had Cozy wriggling through…
ONE…
TWO…
LeBlanc powered free, righted herself and took to the skies with a gorgeous Standing Dropkick that would’ve been more effective if it’d struck anything other than the soles of Lily’s boots. Alas, Burlingame had the exact same idea and the exact same execution meaning the mirrored Dropkicks landed with all the force of a gentle shove.
They rose as one, though Burlingame was smiling and Cosette most definitely was not. “What’s wrong, sour-puss?” Lily chided. “You’re keeping up just fine, aren’t you having fun?”
Instead of answering with words, LeBlanc flipped Lily a double bird, then raised ‘em overhead in an unmistakable challenge. “Zhut your mouth and wrezzle.” she demanded. “I grow tired of your prattle.”
Burlingame snorted, but did as bade to engage Cosette in a Test of Stren--“OOOOOOWWWWWW!” LeBlanc dropped her hands to Lily’s chest and put her up on tiptoes with a hard-hearted titty twister! The initial shock didn’t last more than a few seconds, but it was enough time for Cozy to spike a Kneelift into Burlingame’s stomach and switch over to a Side Headlock.
“Yeah, perfect! Bring that punk over here!” Kristy chortled as her partner approached their corner. Transitioning to a Front Facelock after she’d ground Lily’s temple against the point of her hip, LeBlanc pointed her back toward the buckles, then dipped her knees and popped her hips to BWUUUUNG Burlingame spine-first into the middle and bottom turnbuckles courtesy of a Snap Suplex! Lily landed awkwardly on the back of her head and shoulders, a predicament made all the more worrisome because LeBlanc still had hold of the Facelock and used it to draw the vulnerable former champion into a Small Package good for…
BUCKLE SNAP SUPLEX & SMALL PACKAGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uan_1Jg0Z2I
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Veronica started through the ropes only to draw back when Burlingame scrabbled loose of the pin with half a second to spare. Unfortunately she was still deep in enemy territory, as became apparent when Kristy slipped through the ropes and hauled the Star Strider up in a burly Full Nelson. “Had a good grip the first time, Cozy. You just didn’t twist hard enough.” she snickered after treating Lily to a rough shake. “Give this loser another taste!”
More than happy to do so, LeBlanc raaaaaaaaaked her talons down Burlingame’s décolletage and promptly reapplied her pincer grip, the veteran brunette plucking and pulling until Burlingame was yowling and Castle had reached ‘FOUR!’ on his count.
“Go on, take a look at the damage done.” Sanders 2.0 sneered as she forced Lily’s chin into the top of her own cleavage and marched her out to the middle of the ring.
Burlingame didn’t have much choice in the matter, not that she wasted much time lamenting her circumstances. Instead she raised her arms as high as she could, went up on tiptoe and “NGH! NGH! NGH!” Kristy must’ve seen the escape attempt coming because she stuffed three quick Kneelifts into the smaller wrestler’s glutes, effectively thwarting the effort.
“You better hope she’s tougher than she looks.” Kristy taunted Veronica as she continued to shake the Full Nelson back and forth. “Otherwise you’re gonna collect a paycheck for hanging out on the apron all night!”
“Oh, I’ll earn my fair share for kicking your ass, Daisy.” Treymane promised, her grip on the tag rope showing white at the knuckle. Clearly unconcerned, Sanders blew ‘Ronnie a kiss, planted a smooch on the crown of Lily’s noggin, then hunched down and muscled her burden skyward. Lily’s legs swung up while the rest of her came down when Kristy sank to one knee and THWHUMPED Burlingame’s bum atop the posted joint in a modified Atomic Drop!
Lily’s legs went wobbly and she would’ve gone down if not for the Full Nelson, which Kristy relinquished so she could muscle the heiress onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. “Oh, shut up assholes!” Sanders 2.0 demanded of the FAWNatics as they showered her with boos. “This piece of garbage was never going to beat us, ya know why?” Kristy turned a full circle to see if anyone in attendance could provide a suitable answer and when they did not she trained her attention on Treymane. Twisting her hips to the left, the Minnesota Mauler snapped to the right and effortlessly shifted Lily from across her shoulders to under her right arm, Sanders hooking her prey around the upper thighs to put even more force into the Sidewalk Slam that THWHAMMED the Crimson Comet onto the mat! Still holding onto her prey’s legs following the Eden Prairie Plunge, Kristy folded Lily in half with a Back Press good for the…
EDEN PRAIRIE PLUNGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpxf7g70qxI
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Burlingame twisted loose to earn at least another few seconds of match time as well as some aggressive abrasion when Sanders snatched a double handful of hair and scraaaaaaaaaaped her face back and forth. “Eat it, bytch! Eat it, eat it, eat it!”
Lily and Veronica both protested this most vehemently, alas the former’s bitter canvas feast continued until Nick tolled another ‘FOUR!’ Switching from hair to shoulder-straps so the zebra would stop bytching at her, the Leopardess got to her feet and forced Lily to do the same moments before she scooped her onto one shoulder and tossed her right back down with a big Body Slam! Burlingame arched on impact so Sanders stomped on her stomach, then stomped it again when she walked over to an empty corner and slipped out onto the apron. The jeers of the Slaybor Day throng didn‘t bother her at all, indeed they seemed to spur Kristy to claim her perch in the high rent district a few beats quicker than usual. Rising to her full height in time with a swell of noise from the crowd, the Minnesota Mauler treated ‘Ronnie to an insolent middle finger before she took to the skies, the hardbody blonde vaulting into the overhead lights where she crunched in on herself, then stretched out full length to ensure she was as taut as a bowstring when she THAWHAMMED down on the recently vacated canvas!
“GUUUUUUUHHHHHH!” Sanders gaped in nauseated anguish as the residual impact bounced her to a wobbly semblance of verticality. Turning toward her corner on instinct rather than conscious thought, the blonde spotted Lily scrambling to her feet and cursed, “Snuuuhhh… sneaking bytch!” Instinct took over again and she lunged for the heiress, a choice she regretted the instant Burlingame leapt up and planted the soles of her boots in the taller wrestler’s tummy!
Kristy crumpled to her knees with both arms crisscrossed over her roiling gut while Lily ran the ropes and came back at a dead run. She didn’t bother to alter her course until the last second when she hopped over and hooked her shins against Sanders’ shoulders so she landed on her knees in relative comfort while the Leopardess was THWHONKED flat on her face, victim of a Reverse Meteora!
REVERSE METEORA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfsn89ejIik
The crowd wanted a cover, but Lily knew things weren’t finished yet so she tucked herself into a nimble forward roll and sprang toward Treymane to ‘clap’ the Gorgeous Gangster into the match for the first time! Bouncing into the ropes as soon as she was on the proper side of ‘em, ‘Ronnie loped at the prone Sanders and did some flying of her own, a lower but much more effective Splash that brought the former World Champion crashing down atop Kristy’s lower back.
This crushing compression did nothing for the already breathless battler, who could do little more than wheeze as Treymane hauled her upright with a double handful of hair. “Looks like your luck’s gone bad, Daisy.” Veronica told Kristy after she’d doubled her over with a Kneelift to the tummy. “And I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna stay that way for a good long while.”
Positioned snug against Sanders’ left side, Treymane grabbed that wrist and forced it through the smaller blonde’s thighs so she could take hold with her right hand. Once that was secure she slipped her left arm beneath Kristy’s right bicep and wrenched it back at an awkward angle to complete the Pumphandle. Hooks set, she pivoted to glare at Cozy not to intimidate but to keep an eye on her for the next few seconds. LeBlanc fumed and urged her partner on without making any effort to leave the corner, so the Pinstripe Powerhouse muscled Sanders 2.0 to chest-level, then dropped to one knee and earned an anguished ‘UUNNNGH!’ from her burden with the Journey into Fear!
Kristy finished her trip on all fours, alas she didn’t get more than a second to rest before Treymane caught hold of a Front Facelock and muscled her back to boot-leather. Tossing Sanders’ near arm across her shoulders, Treymane grabbed a handful of leopard-print trunks and hoisted her up and over, Kristy floating through to land on her feet behind Veronica only to return forcibly to the deck when Treymane cupped opposing chin in both hands and laid out full length, thus PLANTING the back of Kristy’s skull with a heavy Neckbreaker! Now she did go for the cover, Treymane sliding into a Crossbody that let her hook the far leg while keeping an eye on Cosette through the…
JOURNEY INTO FEAR & SUPLEX-LIFTED NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWitZvEYdF0
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Kristy got a shoulder off the mat to send LeBlanc back to the corner without having to uncork the Double Axehandle she’d been prepping. “Wise choice, Daisy.” Veronica told the brunette once she was back on the apron. “Long as you stay there you’re doing better than this mook.”
LeBlanc muttered something in French that Treymane ignored, as she’d just claimed possession of Sanders’ left foot and yanked it off the mat so she could circle around it in a very familiar do-si-do sort of twist. Pausing with her backside to the flattened blonde, ‘Ronnie grabbed Kristy’s right foot so she could trap her left shin in the pit of her right knee. It was a Figure-Four of sorts, albeit not the traditional application because the Pinstripe Powerhouse dropped to a seat while facing away from her adversary. Still holding the gammy knot in place with her hands, Veronica braced her right shin against Kristy’s, which tightened the trap enough for the Destroyer to press her palms to the canvas.
“Fuuuuhhh… f*cking bytch.” the twinges in Kristy’s legs hadn’t yet overwhelmed the aches in her neck and gut, meaning she was only vaguely aware of Treymane’s twisty plans. “I’m gonna mess you up as soon as I AAAARRRRGGGGHHH AAAAAHHHHHH!”
PINSTRIPE PRISON:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-YXQCMYTQ
Veronica set her left heel against the inside of Sanders’ right thigh and puuuuuussssshed out to put immediate strain on her opponent’s knee and quadriceps. “Soon as you what, Daisy?” Treymane smirked over Kristy’s distressed caterwauling. “After you tap out? I’m not sure it’s going to mean as much once the bell has sounded.”
“How are you doing, Kristy? Hanging in there ok?” Nick asked the Minnesota Mauler after several seconds of ineffectual wriggling didn’t free her from the Pinstripe Prison.
“I’m fine!” Kristy barked. She’d rolled onto her left hip so she could grab at Treymane’s braced foot, though this had yielded no results thus far. “Little pinstripe bytch doesn’t have what it takes to keep me doOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!”
The Magnificent Moll swatted Sanders’ hand away, reset her own hands and lifted her backside off the mat by a good six inches. Shrieking to the rafters as her knee was wrenched in new and unpleasant ways, Kristy was so focused on the pain that she didn’t realize her shoulders were down until Castle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
She shot a hand into the air and waggled a finger (the middle one) ‘no, no, no!’ in response to the crowd’s chant of ‘TAP!’ Satisfied she was putting some real hurt on her opponent’s stems, ‘Ronnie returned her butt to the mat and increased the pressure on Sanders’ right knee. “Give it up, Daisy.” she told the suffering Minnesotan. “The loser’s purse isn’t worth a hyper-extended knNNNNGGGGGHHHH!”
Treymane (and everyone else for that matter) had been rightly focused on Kristy, meaning she was caught flat-footed when Cosette skittered into the ring and THWHACKED a Basement Dropkick to the back of Veronica’s skull!
“HEY!” Lily vaulted over the ropes and was halfway across the ring by the time Castle registered the cheap shot, but damned if he didn’t manage to hook an arm around Burlingame’s waist before she could catch a retreating LeBlanc.
“Knock that crap off, Cozy!” he barked to the Frenchwoman. “And you Lily, get back to your corner. Now!” The Roseate Rocket wasn’t the slightest bit interested in doing so after the brazen cheap shot, but she’d been working tag matches long enough to understand that a distracted referee did no one any good. Grudgingly, she calmed down and raised her hands to shoulder-level before returning to their corner.
As for the legal members of each team, Treymane was on one knee with both hands in Kristy’s hair, who had made it to all fours, or rather three of four, as she’d stretched her right leg out in hopes of easing the worst of the kinks. This might’ve done some good with a few more seconds rest, alas the Gorgeous Gangster stood up and forced Sanders to do the same, Kristy awkwardly hopping on her left foot so she could keep all the weight off-- “AAARRRGGHH!” The Leopardess’ might’ve been down a leg, but her claws were still razor sharp, as Veronica discovered when they flashed across her eyes!
Lily heard ’Ronnie cry out but her positioning was such that she didn’t see the infraction, only the aftermath when Sanders 2.0 snatched a Front Facelock and dropped backward to THUNK the crown of Treymane’s skull into the canvas with a DDT! Kristy scrabbled into place atop the big blonde immediately, drawing the far leg into a tight cradle while pinning the near leg down with her own tweaked stem. Heart suddenly in her throat, Burlingame hopped over the ropes and hoped she wasn’t too late to beat the…
DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqczdQSmu4Q
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
The Most Dangerous Dame kicked loose without need of any assistance, though this detail was mostly lost on the FAWNatics as their attention had been diverted by Cosette, who came from outta nowhere to SMASH the encroaching Lily to the deck with a gorgeous Springboard Crossbody!
“Dammit Cozy, back to your corner!” Nick ordered the veteran even as he watched her hoisting the heiress to boot-leather via a handful of hair. “Just az soon az I take out thee trazh, Monsieur Castle.” Collecting Burlingame at trunks and tresses, LeBlanc rushed the ropes and hurled her foe between top and middle to send Lily to the floor with an undignified PLOP.
Meanwhile, Kristy treated Veronica to a little assistive hair-pulling of her own and, seeing that the official was distracted, quickly pumped a trio of Kneelifts into the center of Treymane’s trunks! “That’s what you f*cking get.” Sanders sneered in ‘Ronnie’s ear as the taller wrestler slumped forward into the loose Bear Hug Kristy’d prepared for her. “And believe me when I say, that’s just the beginning.”
“Chuuuhhh…cheap Daisy.” Veronica groaned as she tried to answer with a Hug of her own. “You won’t get away with ooohhhNNNNGGGGHHH!”
The Leopardess slid her coil south so that her knotted hands were just below the curve of Treymane’s glutes. In the next instant she muscled the former World Champion off her feet and took a knee (the wounded one) to DRIVE Veronica’s crotch onto the post of her thigh with an Inverted Atomic Drop!
“Tag me, Kriztee!” Cosette shouted to her partner when she saw ‘Ronnie’s face go green after the latest nauseating impact. “Let’s finizh thee beetch!”
A similar thought had crossed Kristy’s mind so she grit her teeth and returned to verticality with Treymane slung over one shoulder like a sack of laundry. Counting on adrenaline to help her overwhelm the throbbing anguish in her right knee, Sanders 2.0 let out a bellowing war cry and rushed her corner whereupon reaching she BWUUUNGED Veronica against the buckles with something that was half Spear and half Shoulderblock!
Cozy tagged herself in at once, not that this stopped Kristy from damned near folding Treymane in half with a dozen more Shoulderblocks. “Can you leeft her up? Get her over your knee?” LeBlanc asked the Minnesota Mauler in the midst of climbing to the high rent district.
Kristy nodded, grabbed a double handful of hair and peeled the Pinstripe Powerhouse out of the buckles. “Hell yeah, I can. Let’s snap this loser in half.”
Plan set, Sanders bent at the waist, looped her left arm around Veronica’s midsection and ‘hupped’ her up parallel to the canvas only for a bit of gruesome genuflection to deposit the diminished Destroyer across her thigh via Backbreaker! Treymane groaned and tried to roll free, alas Kristy corralled her at chin and knee to ensure there was nowhere to go. Nowhere that was, until Cozy leapt from the top rope and THWHUMPED a massive Double Stomp onto the blonde’s defenseless chest! Veronica fell free in a shuddering heap and LeBlanc was right there to collect her legs in a bundling Back Press that pointed her foe’s cheeks to the sky for a domineering…
BACKBREAKER & DOUBLE STOMP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek7kxH5MXyE
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lily dove under the bottom rope with a ground-skimming Shoulderblock that knocked Cozy out of her perch before Castle could count ‘THREE!’
“You obnoxious little shyt!” Kristy pounded the interloper with a Double Axehandle between the shoulders before Burlingame could even think about returning to the corner. “That’s the last time you’re going to f*ck with our business!”
A Toe Kick followed by a heavy pair of Overhand Forearm Smashes ensured the Star Strider could muster no resistance when Sanders took possession of one wrist and sent her barreling into the far corner courtesy an Irish Whip. By now Castle was shouting for both Kristy and Lily to get the hell out of the ring, unfortunately the former had no interest in returning to the apron so she took off after the woozy heiress and SPLATTERED her against the turnbuckles with a huge tummy-on-tits Avalanche Splash!
About the time Sanders was making Lily pay for her interference, Cosette LeBlanc regained her feet for the sole (no pun intended) purpose of putting the boots to Veronica Treymane. The Frenchwoman stomped away at every inch of the big blonde, yet even several well-placed blows to the back of the head couldn’t stop the Gorgeous Gangster from struggling to all fours. Coming to understand that she’d need bigger firepower to put Treymane down for good, Cozy capped her bludgeoning efforts with a Double Stomp between the shoulders, then raced to the nearest corner and sprang to the top turnbuckle in a single bound.
“Get up!” LeBlanc shouted down at the recovering blonde. “Get up zo I can put you right back down!”
Treymane didn’t acknowledge the challenge directly, but she continued to rise in spite of the shouted warnings from the FAWNatics. Surveying the squared circle the way a general might survey a captured country, Cosette spared a glance to Kristy and was pleased to see her mounting the middle rope, presumably to rain fists down on Lily Burlingame’s snotty little face. Some motion closer in redirected the brunette’s attention to a now vertical Veronica, so LeBlanc gathered her reserves and leapt out into the void, the lithesome Lightweight pivoting ninety-degrees in midair to SMECK every bit of her weight into Treymane’s chest with a Diving Crossbody that took both women to the mat for--‘OOOOOOOOHHHH!’
The Pinstripe Powerhouse lived up to her reputation by somersaulting through the landing to clamber to her feet with Cozy still strapped to her chest! Stunned by the abrupt reversal of fortune, LeBlanc’s shout of protest came out a yowl of pain when Treymane tightened her grasp and began to thum-thum-thum-THUMP Kneelifts into the Lightweight’s ribs. Half a dozen unanswered shots gave ‘Ronnie the confidence to toss Cozy up onto her shoulders, not into a Fireman’s Carry but the stall position for a--THA-WHAM! The Powerbomb drove LeBlanc into the mat like a lawn dart, the toes of the brunette’s boots pointing up into the lights before the last of the residual momentum sent her toppling over onto her belly.
Over in the opposite corner, Kristy had just unloaded a third punch to Burlingame’s hairline when the meeting of Cozy on canvas caused the Leopardess to glance over one shoulder. “Damn Cozy, it sounds like you--freakin’ shyt. Hey bytch, get the hell away from HEYNNNGGGHHH!”
Lily slipped out from beneath Sanders 2.0 and celebrated her freedom by snapping a high kick into the pit of Kristy’s right knee! The blonde’s leg buckled, but she managed to hold her perch by grabbing the top rope in both ha--“EERRGGGHH! GODDAMMIT BYTCH, LEGGO OF MY HAIR!”
Burlingame, who had reached through Sanders’ parted stems to grab a double fistful of locks, ultimately obliged the demand but not until she’d pulled Kristy’s noggin down far enough to wedge the nape of her neck into place against the top turnbuckle. Though it looked complicated and quite painful, Lily’s trap actually featured a remarkably simple escape. All Kristy had to do was let go of the top rope or hop down from the second. But in all the surprise and confusion she did neither, meaning the Minnesota Mauler ended up with a perfect (albeit upside down) view of the Super Kick Lily flicked through her legs to THWHACK! against her chin!
TURNBUCKLE TRAPPED SUPER KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG2B06OzDqE
The concussive impact did what Sanders 2.0 could not, free her from the corner to tumble into an awkward seat with the back of her head resting against the bottom buckle. This arrangement earned a loud roar from the FAWNatics that Lily didn’t quite understand until she looked to the far side of the ring and saw that Cosette occupied an identical seat in the opposite corner. Catching her partner’s eye, Burlingame tipped Treymane a mischievous wink and asked, “You thinking what I’m thinking, ‘Ronnie?”
The Pinstripe Powerhouse looked slightly confused until the heiress shimmied her hips. Then she rolled her eyes and replied, “Sure. What the hell, right?”
“Right!”
Strutting to their respective corners, the ladies of Cosmic Noir turned around, grabbed hold of the top rope in both hands and earned a cacophonous cheer from the crowd with stereo Stink Faces, the response to their energetic butt buffing so loud it almost overwhelmed the wails of sputtering protest from Cozy and Kristy.
Having long since stopped trying to regain anything like full control of the bout, Nick Castle took up residence in the middle of the ring and started to count.
“Switch on four!” Lily called to Veronica.
“What?”
“Switch on four! This bronco needs busting!”
“Jeeze Lil’, you can’t be seri--”
“FOUR!”
The Crimson Comet broke into a run and the Magnificent Moll did the same, the former deftly juking around the latter before both ladies executed low-flying leaps that culminated in heavy ass-on-chest landings! Tethered to their mounts via sturdy grips on the top rope, Burlingame and Treymane did indeed do some industrial strength busting, brunette and blonde bouncing in place to smash their opponent’s chests and grrrrrrriiinnnd their faces against encroaching undercarriage.
Another ‘FOUR!’ from the official brought both rides to an end, but where Kristy was allowed to slop onto the apron and ultimately the floor below, Cosette wasn’t so lucky. “Get up, baby. We’re not finished with you yet.” LeBlanc tried to protest, alas the rapid application of Powerbomb, Stink Face and Bronco Buster left her little better than a dishrag ready for a proper wringing. Switching over to a Wristlock as soon as she had the brunette upright, Burlingame slung Cosette to Treymane, who stopped her cold with a hand wrapped around her throat. After slinging Cozy’s near arm over her shoulder, Veronica marched her back the way she’d came, then whipped around so her back was to the corner where Lily had sprang to the high rent district only moments prior.
With the Star Strider properly aligned, Veronica dipped her knees and muscled LeBlanc skyward like gravity had forgotten her too. Burlingame took flight just as Cozy reached her apex, the former Lightweight Champion bringing both knees to hip level so she could land with her shins astride LeBlanc’s shoulders to add her own considerable momentum to the brunette’s descent. The momentous scope of the Dark Between the Stars THWHAMMED Cosette down in an insensate starfish that didn’t so much as burble when Lily somersaulted away or when Veronica slid atop her chest in a domineering Crossbody more than good enough to earn the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
Treymane rose up and met Lily for a knuckle bump / invisible detonator, the ‘BOOM!’ coming as the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners via pin-fall… COSMIC NOIR!”
Lily and Veronica allowed the Senior Official to raise their hands, but when he suggested they take a victory lap, Treymane asked for a microphone instead. Duly equipped within seconds, she turned to the hard camera and said, “ Mariel! Valerie! You have something we want. While you two have been throwing yourself at Dayna Erza, Lily and I have been racking up Tag Team wins. We want those titles, Daisies. You may have beaten us in the past, but those losses made us mad. You two? You’ve become complacent. Thinking those legs of yours are long enough to rule over the rest of the division without actually having to defend the titles. But at ‘Mania? Well, I’ll let Lily tell you. It was her idea after all.”
She handed the mic off to the Crimson Comet, who considered her words for some time before speaking. “We’re going to make you feel small, ladies. We’re going to wear you down, beat you up and…long story short? At ‘Mania, Cosmic Noir is going to cut Legs Inc. off at the goddamned knees.”
Lily tossed the mic to Nick, then joined ‘Ronnie in strapping an invisible belt around her waist just to make sure McGinty and Stipanovic knew their ‘Mania destiny was written in the stars.