Post by hawkeye on Mar 8, 2021 0:51:11 GMT
“Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit and is for the FAWN Lightweight Championship! Introducing first… the CHALLENGER…” the usually neutral announcer put special emphasis on the word ‘challenger’ before he continued, “...hailing from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and coming in at five foot four and one hundred sixteen pounds… MARIIIIAAAAA AAAAALLLLLLVVVEEESSSS!”
PAPER PLANES - M.I.A.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewRjZoRtu0Y
’Paper Planes’ by M.I.A. announced the entrance of the Brazilian judoka. Maria stepped through the curtains at the top of the entrance ramp, dressed in a white gi and black belt, albeit much more form fitting than regulation typically allowed. Unlike her standard judo-wear, Alves continued to go without pants for her professional wrestling matches at the behest of the marketing and wardrobe departments, bare below the hips save for a pair of black bikini bottoms to preserve her modesty.
MARIA ALVES
Though she had left her kingsguard behind for a one-on-one trial by combat, Maria brought along her royal diadem and caduceus for her walk to the ring, perhaps to remind all in attendance of her self-proclaimed kingly status. The ill-begotten Lightweight title strap laid across her left shoulder, the judoka electing not to wear it around her waist so as to not obscure the other belt that served as a testament to her prodigious skills.
After taking in her surroundings for a few seconds, Alves calmly padded down the entrance ramp on her bare feet, occasionally bobbing her head to the beat of her music. She made a brief detour to the announcer’s table and carefully set down her crown, rod, and belt, then she climbed into the squared circle and claimed one corner for herself.
“Hello again, Nicholas Castle,” Maria greeted the referee who came to check her gear. “I see you are Algernon Carpenter now.”
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Al Carpenter sighed, “At least you’re not calling me ‘Merle’ like -- HEY! This is my wallet!”
Carpenter pulled a very familiar leather billfold out of the judoka’s left sleeve, though Alves only offered an indifferent, dismissive scoff when he gave her an accusing glare.
“How did you -- ?! You know what...? Nevermind, I don’t care…” Al grumbled to himself as he shoved his wallet back into the side pocket of his trousers before returning to his pre-match inspection.
Maria managed to cadge Al’s wallet three more times during the course of his inspection, meaning the zebra wasn’t quite finished when the Announcer called, “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Blue Bay, Florida, stands at five feet three inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and seventeen pounds. She is the Slappin’ Sensation, ladies and the FAWN Lightweight Champion… MACY RENQUIST!”
MESS AROUND:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJlFKmfZGL4
MACY RENQUIST:
The Heartbroken throng shook the rafters with their reaction, those amassed decibels evenly split between cheers or bellowing the ‘UH-OH’s!’ that marked the opening to Cage the Elephant’s ‘Mess Around’. Macy herself showed up a few seconds later, the svelte stunner blowing through the curtain without breaking her stride. Losing the Golden Exhibition to Becky Clayton had been tough, albeit tolerable. But having her Lightweight Championship stolen by the lunatic judoka in the aftermath had put Renquist in a foul mood for a whole month.
Now, with her prize finally in sight, the blonde went straight down the aisle with none of her usual fanfare. Oh, the hands were still extended in her directions on both sides, but the Beach Blaster ignored them in favor of staring a hole through the thief. Breaking into a sprint when she reached the foot of the ramp, Macy dove under the bottom rope and bounced to her feet in a single fluid motion.
Already aware of the champ’s volcanic mood, Carpenter moved to the middle of the ring with a thought to intercepting Renquist on the very good chance that she tried to slap Maria’s face ‘round backward before the bell. This was a commendable plan but in the end it proved unnecessary because Macy didn’t go for the challenger. Instead she doffed her headphones and varsity jacket in the span between heartbeats and tossed them at the official. Beneath the latter she wore a strappy white two piece with pink trim and matching accents. Her knee and elbow pads were an identical black, while the ankle wraps she wore in place of boots were matte pink, an homage to her Astonishing trainer.
Denied the chance to raise her gold before the match began, Renquist settled for planting a smooch on the fingers of her right hand, which she in turn smacked into her left palm with an echoing CRAAAAAACK! The wordless threat earned nothing but a quizzically raised eyebrow from Maria Alves, but the crowd responded with a cacophonous ‘WOOOOOOO!’ which would suffice until she actually managed to get those dangerous hands on the larcenous challenger.
Macy went for the thief the instant Carpenter called for the bell, the aggrieved blonde cutting across the squared circle on a razor sharp diagonal. Maria noted Renquist’s approach and set off along the ropes to ensure she wouldn’t be caught against the unforgiving corn--“Ngh!”
The Slappin’ Sensation hooked around and darted in fast with a forehand swat that struck Alves’ right bicep just below the shoulder. Maria grimaced, tried for a clinch and got bulled into the strands for her trouble. Ignoring the urge to call for a break, she snaked her arms around Macy’s waist and right arm to effectively pin the latter to the former in an awkward Bear Hug even as the champion continued to slap away at her bicep and forearm. Alves never called for a break and Renquist certainly didn’t look inclined to give her one, yet they were still smudged against the ropes so Al strode over a few seconds later and ordered, “Ok ladies, let’s break this up and resume in the middle of the ring, ok?”
Macy delivered one more slap, snorted in disgust, then raised her free hand to acknowledge the ref’s request. Given his past experience with the kleptomaniac judoka Al expected some degree of sass from Maria, but she only gave the grip a single quick squeeze before unlocking her hands. Carpenter offered a thanks for their compliance but the referee might as well have been a voice on the moon for all the attention blonde and brunette paid him as they moved their conflict to the wider expanse of center ring.
There they began to circle, the pair of Lightweights watching one another with a sort of brazen intensity that was a far cry from the sass and swagger they’d displayed against earlier opposition. After a few lunges and feints from both ladies, it was Maria who broke the silence. “I sense anger, no that’s not right… moral condemnation? Would you care to explain yourself, Macy?”
The corners of Renquist’s mouth turned ever so slightly up, the champ showing a disgusted smile as she continued to circle. “I could almost, almost forgive stealing the title, it’s so brazen I have to respect it, but then you show up for this match sheathed from shoulder to hip in ‘don’t slap me!’ armor? That’s pathetic, Maria. Even for a thief.”
Alves smiled back, the brunette raising a finger to trace down the edge of one lapel. “You disapprove of my attire, then? Perhaps I could be persuaded to remove it in exchange for--” Renquist snatched hold of the challenger’s lapel presumably to pull her in for a bit of nose to nose trash talk, but she never got the chance because Maria caught the wrist in both hands and pivoted / thrust her right hip into the blonde’s belly to sling her over and down onto her butt with an audible thud.
JUDO TOSS @00:54
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA8hEh9fD4I
Still in possession of her opponent’s wrist, Alves hopped over and yanked Renquist to her fee--“NNNNGGGHH!”
Macy brought her free hand down in a whistling overhand slap that struck Maria’s wrists hard enough to break the brunette’s grip. Twisting and rising in the same practiced motion, the Slappin’ Sensation reached over one shoulder to catch Maria in a Three Quarters Facelock so she could treat her to the same butt-on-canvas collision, albeit with a Snapmare. Understanding that Maria’s belt would prevent her from simply yanking the modified Gi jacket up over the Brazilian’s head, Macy grabbed hold of the collar, then drew back a leg and THWHAPPED a heavy Soccer Kick between her shoulders!
The pained shiver running up and down her spine only froze Alves for a second or two, yet it was still plenty of time for Renquist to drop to one knee and claim possession of both wrists. With her posted knee wedged between Maria’s shoulders, Macy leaned forward, then craaaaaaaaaanked backward to put some unpleasant strain on her opponent’s shoulders. “You’re not getting any concessions from me, cutie.” Renquist noted as she worked the brunette’s arms like they were a rowing machine. “I already busted my ass convincing Christian, Thomas and DeCyr to make this an actual match instead of just having your thieving ass busted for grand larceny.”
SEATED SURFBOARD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwKOOnWXCQ8
Alves shook her head ‘no’ to ward off Carpenter’s question of surrender, but her words were for Macy alone. “I stole nothing. I simply wished to inspect a pair of gaudy accessories someone had returned to the lost and founEEERRRGGGHHH!”
Renquist eased the pressure only to immediately redouble her efforts, the blonde cranking her opponent’s arms back at an increasingly painful angle. “Don’t even think about pulling that absurdist bullshyt with me, girl. Don’t you dare. You STOLE my title, not because you’re lazy or untalented, but because you’re a f*cking thief and that’s what thieves f*cking do.”
Maria grimaced, leaned left, then right, but could find no obvious escape hatch for the Surfboard. “Strong accusations, Macy.” the brunette grunted. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever paused to consider your own culpability in our current situatioNNNGGGHH!”
Renquist stood without abandoning the Wristlocks, meaning Alves couldn’t avoid or even defend against the knee the blonde drove between the center of her shoulders. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this bullshyt.” Macy snapped. “Go on then, sweetheart. Tell me how this is my fault.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Alves was still rocking from side to side, presumably in an effort to rise from her butt to one knee. “If you hadn’t allowed Becky Clayton to drive you through the canvas at Thrills, Chills & Spills, you would have been cogent enough to defend your precious belt against my cunning machina--” Maria’s words got cut off with an audible clack, then brunette’s jaw snapping shut when Renquist tried to touch her palms to one another.
“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Macy growled at the struggling judoka. “Clayton wasn’t even vertical at the end of that match! The only thing between you and both of those straps was Nick Castle and EVEN THEN you barely got it--”
Alves twisted left, finally slipping free of Renquist’s grinding knee. “Yes, I still achieved my objective. Which is far more than I can say of you, Macy. The Lightweight Championship is hardly a participation award. If you can’t defend it, you shouldn’t rrrrgggggggggghhhhhh!”
The Beach Blaster got to her feet and wrenched Alves’ arms through a near full rotation, the pain of which forced the challenger to clamber to her feet. “What’s that feel like, Maria? Does it feel like I can’t defend my title?” Renquist huffed. “Funny how differently things play out when you can’t jump me from beHEY!”
Alves shot up on tiptoe only to drop down flat on her back, an abrupt shift that, thanks to the tethering Wristlocks, bent Macy over almost double. In the next instant she pistoned both feet up into Renquist’s chest and tugged forward while slinging the blonde forward and down with a sort of Reverse Monkey Flip! Happy to seize control of the Wristlocks from her startled foe, Maria set her feet against Renquist’s shoulder and pressed down while simultaneously tugging her arms overhead to keep the wriggling battler in place for…
ONE….
TWO…
Macy twisted free just after ‘TWO’ and hurried to her feet as Maria did the same. A stereo lunge looked like it would end in a clench or possibly an exchange of Slaps, so the FAWNatics buzzed with surprise when Alves caught the champ’s wrist coming in and used it to dump her right back to the deck. Just like that Maria dropped to a seat and threaded her thighs around that exposed bicep in anticipation of the JujigataNOOOO! Macy exploded to one knee, the Beach Blaster folding the brunette into a Matchbook that allowed her to snatch the cuff of Alves’ jacket, thus blocking the hold for now.
“Not complaining about the jacket now, are you?” Maria chided as she worked to fight out of Macy’s grip. “It’s the only thing keeping me from hyper-extending your elbow.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, brat.” Macy countered. “It’s the only thing stopping me from slapping your face into the lower deck.”
Renquist pushed up onto tiptoes, stacking Alves upside-down onto her shoulders and forcing the referee to start the pin count. Al didn’t quite get to “TWO” before Maria uncrossed her legs, planted her heels against Macy’s collarbones, and kicked the blonde away. The recoil sent Alves herself tumbling backwards over a shoulder, and she regained her feet just in time to catch a blistering slap to the face, the loud WHACK of palm against cheek echoing from every corner of the FAWN Arena.
Such was the force of the Lightweight champion’s signature strike that it spun the challenger completely around, sending Maria stumbling towards the edge of the ring. If Alves thought she could find reprieve in the ropes she was sorely mistaken, however, as Renquist was on her in a second. Threading one arm under the judoka’s armpit and behind her head while drawing the other across her throat, Macy clamped down on her Katahajime Choke and looked to secure an early finish.
KATAHAJIME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I96O5Xnntg
Alves was intimately familiar with the classic judo choke though, and whereas previous challengers to the Lightweight throne had panicked under the same situation, Maria kept her wits about her. She spread her legs out wide and dropped her hips down, broadening her base and lowering her center of gravity to prevent Macy from taking her to the mat with the hold secure. Disaster averted for the moment, she lifted a foot and delivered a quick, forceful stomp to the blonde’s exposed toes, causing Renquist to yelp in pain and to loosen the choke by just a fraction of an inch.
A fraction of an inch was more than enough for a black belt prodigy, however, and Maria squirmed until she had the crown of her skull position directly underneath Macy’s chin. Alves suddenly let her legs go slack and dropped to the mat, pulling her captor down with her. The Brazilian landed flat on her rear, an unpleasant shock to be sure, but Renquist took the worst of it when the force impact transferred through Maria’s spine and skull and directly into her jaw.
The improvised Jawbreaker knocked the Slappin’ Sensation loopy for a moment, her arms slipping away from her foe’s neck and instead moving to cradle her chin. Out of the corner of her eye, Macy saw the judoka shooting in for a takedown, and she fired off another vicious slap at where she thought the other woman’s face would be. Alas, her double vision betrayed her aim and allowed Maria to duck under the blow and pivot around to take her back.
Having already tasted more slaps than she cared to, Alves quickly neutralized Macy’s arms by hooking them with her own to form a pair of chickenwings, then she popped her hips and arched her back to send the Lightweight champion up, over, and down into the mat with a Tiger Suplex.
TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlY1JtKteKI
The FAWNatics oooh’ed in sympathetic pain as Macy landed squarely on the back of her head and neck, her upturned haunches pointing towards the ceiling and her arms still hooked behind her back. Maria bridged up a little higher to force her opponent’s shoulders to the canvas, and Carpenter dropped down and pounded out…
ONE!
TWO!
...before Renquist bucked free and slopped onto her side to retain her championship for at least another three seconds. For her part, Maria seemed to be in no hurry as she sat up in the center of the ring with her legs folded in a neat criss-cross, rubbing at her cheek with one hand and wiggling her jaw side-to-side to check for loose teeth. Once the ringing in her ears had stopped and she was satisfied that all her molars were present and accounted for, she rose to her feet and padded over to her opponent who was just crawling to hands and knees.
Maria unceremoniously dropped to a seat between Macy’s shoulderblades, pancaking the blonde face-first into the mat and forcing her to relinquish whatever vertical progress she’d made. Now straddling her opponent’s back, Alves reached down and scooped her hands under the blonde’s chin, interlocking her fingers for a tighter grip. Maria leaned back to apply pressure with a Camel Clutch, but in neglecting to hook Macy’s arms over the planks of her thighs, she had left the door open for the Slappin’ Sensation.
Free to do as she wished with both hands, Renquist grabbed both of her opponent’s calves and yanked them forward to throw Alves off balance. Maria lost her grip on Macy’s chin and spilled onto her rear, and in a heartbeat the Beach Blaster twisted about and pounced on her, leaving the two wrestlers face to face with Alves on her back and Renquist crouched between her thighs.
The judoka instinctively pulled guard, wrapping her legs tightly around Renquist’s waist to prevent the Slappin’ Sensation from rearing back and getting the leverage to put full power into those withering strikes. Her less than ideal position was no deterrent for Macy, however, and she planted her left hand into the cleft of Maria’s bosom for support and control, and with her right she began peppering the Brazilian with slaps -- forehand, then backhand, then forehand, then backhand, on and on and on and on.
Alves threw up her arms to absorb the blows, the thick linen sleeves on her gi taking some of the bite out of those stinging impacts. Once she got a read on Macy’s rhythm and timed the lull in the barrage, Maria struck like a coiled viper, dropping both hands from guard to snatch control of the blonde’s planted left wrist while simultaneously uncoiling her legs from around Macy’s waist only to re-wrap them around Macy’s head, neck, and left arm in a deadly Triangle Choke.
TRIANGLE CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRJpJc8mkLs
Having learned her lesson earlier, Maria rolled to one side to get one shoulder off the mat, preventing Renquist from stacking her for another counter-pin. Macy still had a free arm, however, and after preemptively waving off the referee, she put her favorite slappin’ hand to good use and delivered a dozen meaty WHACK’s in half as many seconds to the judoka’s bare thigh. Hissing and grimacing despite herself as splotchy red and purple welts formed on her olive skin with every impact, Alves decided after a few hits to try a different tactic.
The judoka released the Triangle Choke in order to plant a foot on Macy’s right shoulder, and a hard kick put the Slappin’ Sensation flat on her back with an arm still dangerously in Maria’s grasp. Renquist quickly recognized her precarious situation and immediately clasped her hands together to block a second attempt at the Jujigatame just as Alves shifted position to scissor her left arm with both legs. Maria laced a forearm through the crook of her opponent’s elbow for more leverage and gave a couple of hard yanks, but Macy’s defensive grip held fast and prevented the challenger from hyperextending her left arm.
“That’s right, Maria,” Renquist grunted through her clenched teeth while the pair were locked in a stalemate. “You’re not the only one with judo skills.”
Alves huffed as though mildly annoyed, then she sighed, “Macy Renquist, you have both the judo acumen and the mustache of a small child.”
Macy didn’t have time to wonder what exactly that meant before her opponent shifted positions again into yet another submission. Uncrossing her ankles and spinning about in her seat, Maria threw her right calf over the top of Renquist’s crooked left forearm and squeezed down with her legs to force the trapped limb to bend. With her own forearm still wedged inside Macy’s elbow and acting as a fulcrum, the sharp bones in her wrist sliced into Macy’s bicep like a rock jammed into the jaws of a nutcracker.
BICEP SLICER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4PHQ7lnvZg
“ARRGGH NO! NOOO!” Macy shrieked as she felt like the tendons in her elbow might burst under the intense strain of her opponent’s Bicep Slicer, her free arm and both of her legs spasmodically thrashing in agony.
“Do not worry, Macy,” Maria gently soothed even as she bridged her hips to pour on even more pressure. “A compound fracture of your elbow and forearm may end your wrestling career, but previous experience indicates that it will not prevent you from achieving similar mediocrity on the futebooo-OOOOAAAAHHH!”
As the judoka was prattling about alternative athletic pathways, Renquist managed to reach over with her right hand and hook a couple of fingers into the side of her opponent’s open mouth. Her cheek caught on the fishhook, Maria had no choice but to follow when the Beach Blaster pulled her hard to the side lest she be inflicted with one-half of a Glasgow grin. Alves toppled over and lost her hooks on the Bicep Slicer, though much to her inward relief, she was also able to safely tear Macy’s hand away from her face during the tumble. The pair of wrestlers rolled in opposite directions, each cautiously rising to her feet near a set of turnbuckles and rubbing at her aches and pains.
“Bet’cher old sensei didn’t teach ya that one!” Renquist barked, her right hand protectively clasped over the inner elbow of her left arm.
“Macy Renquist...” Alves snarled from across the ring as she clutched her jaw, her eyes narrowed in a rare outward show of anger. “...you are an anus.”
The Beach Blaster snorted softly, derision stamped clearly across her pretty features. For a moment it looked like she’d answer, instead she decided on a different approach at the last moment. Treating her fingers to a theatrical smooch, she cocked a hip at the challenger and slapped the be-smooched hand to her glute, much to the delight of the FAWNatics.
Maria proved far less enthused, though her disgust didn’t stop the crafty judoka from closing the distance with her adversary when Macy did the same. Ignoring the unpleasant ache in her left elbow, Renquist curled that hand into a slight paddle and let it lead to make sure Alves knew there were still plenty of slaps with her name on ‘em. Maria greeted this subtle threat with no reaction at all, her expression a carefully neutral blank once more.
The action however was anything but neutral, indeed it went from zero to sixty in the span between heartbeats when Macy lashed out with a Slap that turned out to be a sturdy grip on Maria’s collar instead! Alves snatched that the blonde’s wrist just as quickly and would’ve done terrible things to the champ’s entire arm if Renquist hadn’t gone off script with a straight right hand that PWAAAKED against the challenger’s mouth! Maria’s head snapped backward while the rest of her went in the opposite direction, Macy using her grip to reel her foe into a Broadside Kneelift that thumped across Alves’ trim tum--
“OOOWWW!” Maria shouted in pained surprise when Renquist brought her raised foot down on the Brazilian’s bare toes! Wrenching her way clear of the blonde’s grip, Alves offered her back to Renquist in hopes of drawing out another choke attempt. Instead it got her a quick Kneelift to the small of the back, Macy hopping just enough to deliver the strike with leg-jellying force.
“Get back here, baby.” the Slappin’ Sensation caught hold of Maria’s belt and reeled her in so she could collect her arms in the same Double Chickenwing she’d endured earlier. Hands joined in a single fist, Macy dropped into a deep crouch and snapped off a high bridge that THWUMPED Alves down on the back of her head and shoulders courtesy of a retaliatory Tiger Suplex.
Renquist didn’t hold the bridge but she didn’t release Maria’s either. Rather she rolled to one knee and got to her feet, thus forcing Maria to do the same. Soon as they were upright she traded in the Chickenwing on Alves’ left arm for a Half Nelson that pinned it over the brunette’s head at an awkward angle. “This is what you get.” Macy whispered in Maria’s right ear an instant before she tore Alves off her feet and laid out flat to turn the judoka inside out with a hellacious Half & Half Suplex! Maria landed high and tight on the nape of her neck, rolled through to her stomach and ultimately slopped to her back whereupon covered her in a north-south arrangement, the champ pressing her cheek to Maria’s tummy while her chest pressed against the challenger’s face for a count of…
HALF & HALF SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2qPcSeAttk
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Alves powered free of the cover with half a second to spare, though she’d no more than made it to her stomach when Macy snatched an ankle in each hand. The Figure Four came immediately thereafter, the brunette’s left shin wedged into the pit of her right knee so that leg could be folded up to keep both in place with minimal fuss from the Lightweight Champion. Bracing her left knee against those crossed limbs was more than adequate to do the job which meant Renquist’s right knee was free to find a new home in the small of Maria’s back.
Still groggy from the Half & Half, Alves retained the presence of mind to throw her arms over the back of her head to protect against what she could only imagine was an inevitable barrage of head Slaps. This was a completely understandable strategic choice, yet tonight it proved a costly error because Renquist grabbed hold of the challenger’s right wrist and pulled that arm ‘round the other way, threading it under Maria’s chin in an oh so tight Cutthroat.
“What’re you going to do now, Maria?” Macy switched her grip from the brunette’s wrist to the cuff of her Gi jacket so she could pull the Cutthroat that much tighter. “You going to sit there and wriggle while I choke you out or are you going to expose your head in the hopes of crawling to the ropes?”
That exact question had been running through Alves’ mind for the last several seconds. To hear it verbalized by the blonde did nothing to soothe her chagrin. “I’m… sure you would love for me to divulge my strategy.” Maria muttered as she began to squirm and micro-adjust within the confines of her foe’s hold. “But you’ll find I’m not as easily flustered as the rest of your oppositNO! NO DAMN IT! NNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Renquist caught hold of Alves’ left wrist and went to slide it across her throat and in so doing convert the Cutthroat to a full Straightjacket. Unwilling to surrender her last free limb no matter the consequences, Maria wrested her hand away from Macy before the Beach Blaster could secure her grip, then dug that elbow into the canvas so she could drag their combined bulk to the ropes.
She’d made it less than six inches when Renquist flattened her right hand into a paddle and CRAAAAAACKED a Bytch Slap against Alves’ right ear.
Fireworks went off behind the Brazilian’s eyes once, twice, three times, each explosion corresponding with the slap to her ear and two subsequent slaps to her face. There would’ve been more, but the judoka covered up again, her left hand desperately cupped over her ringing right ear.
Macy landed a few shots to the curve of her skull, then grabbed hold of the brunette’s collar and gave it a rough shake. “Tap out, Maria.” Renquist grunted. “Tap out or I will Slap you out.”
“Yuuuhhh… you very well could.” Alves groaned. “But I’m going to finish this before you get the chanRRRGGAAAAHHHHH!”
Macy yanked up on her collar grip just to drive Maria’s face and chest into the thinly-sheathed plywood. To make matters worse she began yanking the collar left and right, the Slappin’ Sensation showing off her scrubbin’ technique by wiping Alves’ pretty face all over the mat!
Carpenter let the aggressive abrasion go on uncontested for a full five seconds but when Renquist showed no signs of stopping he stepped in and said, “Ok Macy, that’s enough of that. Let go of her collar.”
“Are you kidding me?” Macy paused her assault without giving up her grip. “This piece of crap straight up STEALS my title after the hardest match of my life, then has the gall to show up in the fighting equivalent of a chunky sweater and you’re telling me to let her go? That’s bullshyt, Al!”
“I’m not saying you can’t grab the jacket.” Carpenter countered. “I’m saying you can’t use it to scrape her face off.”
Renquist opened her mouth, then shut it without a word. After a moment’s pause she let go of Maria’s collar and raised that hand to shoulder level. “There. Happy noOOOOOWWWW BYTCH!” Macy shrieked in surprised anguish when Alves finally managed to jam her right thumb into the pressure point on the underside of the champ’s left wrist! Renquist pulled away from the challenger like she was electrified, the sudden separation allowing the red-faced Maria to push to her hands and knees and scramble to the--
“Ropes!” the judoka bellowed. “Keep her off, I’m in the ropOOOFFFFHHH!”
Macy caught her amidships with a Basement Dropkick that sent Alves tumbling between the bottom and middle strands. “Get back in here. Get your ass back in here right goddamned now.” Renquist hissed under her breath as she got her feet and tended to her aching left arm.
There was no response from Maria for quite some time, indeed Al was at ‘ELEVEN!’ on his count by the time the brunette rose into view. Locking eyes with the blonde, Alves deftly undid the knotted belt at her waist, pulled it aside and let it drop. Then she rolled her shoulders and shrugged out of the Gi jacket to leave her clad in nothing more than a simple black bikini.
Seeing this, Macy backpedaled to the center of the squared circle and crouched down to sweep an invisible line on the canvas at her feet.
“Come and get it, Maria.” Renquist challenged. “You want what’s mine? Come in here and take it, if you f*cking can.”
“I already have,” Alves replied, raising her volume but purposefully keeping her tone flat amid the chorus of catcalls that came from revealing more of her toned, slender frame. “And unlike yourself, I keep what I take.”
“Oh, BULLSHIT!” the blonde snarled as she charged forward as soon as her opponent slid back into the ring.
Maria scrambled upright just in time to grab outstretched Macy’s lead arm for a takedown as Renquist rushed in, but in committing both hands to control just one, she fell hook, line, and sinker for the Slappin’ Sensation’s bait. A whistling overhand slap landed squarely on Maria’s now unprotected cleavage, and with a sharp yelp, Alves instinctively relinquished her grip on Macy’s wrist and wrapped her arms around her pert bosom.
Renquist quickly snaked around behind her opponent, stepping over the judoka’s left leg with her own as she went to keep the thief rooted in place. Another lightning-quick slap to the ear knocked Maria over sideways, and though their intertwined legs kept her standing, that soon proved to be a curse rather than a blessing when Macy trapped her right bicep under an armpit to secure a tight Abdominal Stretch.
ABDOMINAL STRETCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey2U8tFbWgQ
“What’s the matter, huh?” Renquist asked as she cranked back and forced Maria to groan in pain. “Tough girl got a soft underbelly?”
If the Brazilian had a rejoinder, it was lost when Macy delivered a searing slap to her taut belly, drawing another high-pitched squeal of displeasure. Deciding that she quite liked the sound of the thief’s anguish, Renquist licked the palm of her right hand and promptly unleashed a full barrage over the next twenty seconds, relentlessly whacking those strained abdominal muscles like they were a set of bongos in a Caribbean jazz band.
Not liking the pallor on Maria’s face at the end of the drum solo, Al Carpenter stooped down and asked, “What do you say, Maria? Need me to call it?”
Alves didn’t answer immediately, biting her bottom to keep it from quivering and squeezing her eyes shut, but after a few moments she did manage to weakly shake her head back and forth a couple of times. That was enough to forestall the bell even if the referee didn’t look entirely convinced, and either way Renquist was more than happy to heap more punishment onto the woman who’d stolen her cherished title belt.
Deciding to give her favorite slappin’ hand a chance to cool down, Macy curled her fingers into talons and sank them deep into Maria’s belly, chewing and gnawing at the tenderized flesh. Harley Jo Collins she was not, however, and in leaving her hand stationary for a Belly Claw, Renquist allowed Alves to counter-attack by grabbing her middle and index fingers and bending them backwards towards her wrist.
“Nrrgghh…! You cheap brat!” Macy hissed. “Dirty thief always taking shortcuuAAAH!”
The pain in her digits distracted and unbalanced the Beach Blaster just enough for Alves to put her black belt judo skills to good use, throwing Renquist up and over with a textbook Hip Toss. Maria let herself fall and followed all the way down, and as soon as the pair made impact on the mat, she quickly snared the wrist on her opponent’s damaged left arm before Macy could react. Bending the captured limb behind the blonde’s skull while simultaneously applying a vise-like side headlock, Maria splayed her legs out and twisted her hips to put sickening torque on Macy’s arm and neck with an Anaconda Choke.
ANACONDA CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvxaksWt9pQ
One look at the Slappin’ Sensation’s bulging eyes and frantically thrashing legs told Al that his charge was in imminent danger of being choked out or having her arm dislocated, and the official was quick to offer Renquist a chance to call it a night. Macy still managed to gasp out something resembling a “NO” through her strangled gurgles, however, and to further demonstrate that she could still resist and defend herself, she planted her free hand on the judoka’s chin and started pushing with all her might.
Doing so did nothing to reduce the pressure on her neck and left arm, but it did force the Brazilian’s head closer and closer to her legs. After maybe fifteen seconds of struggle, Macy was finally able to curl up and hook a calf over Maria’s face from behind, allowing her to use her lower body strength to aid in prying the judoka off of herself. Following a brief stalemate, it seemed as though the champion had succeeded as Alves lost her grip on the Anaconda Choke and fell backwards, but any relief that Macy felt vanished when Maria immediately snared her right foot instead. In the blink of an eye, Maria managed to tuck the toes into her armpit while cupping the heel in the crook of her elbow to lock in the Heel Hook, then she grapevined Macy’s right thigh between her calves and turned hard to one side.
HEEL HOOK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUtAZf5i6s8
“NRRGGHHH GAAAAAWWWWWDAMMIT!” Renquist screeched, arching her back and pounding her fists into the deck as the sinews in her knee and ankle threatened to shear apart.
“NO SUBMISSION! NO SUBMISSION!” she added a beat later, lest the referee get the wrong idea.
Once the initial wave of anguish washed over her, Macy rocked back and forth to build momentum before suddenly rolling in the same direction as Maria to turn both of them onto their stomachs. Renquist nearly sobbed as the fire in her joints abated for the moment, but with the judoka still latched onto her leg, she still wasn’t out of danger yet. That point was emphatically driven home when Alves simply uncrossed her ankles and clambered upright with Macy’s foot still in her grasps. Although losing the Heel Hook meant losing the ability to ravage the Beach Blaster’s knee, her standing position now gave Maria the leverage to crank the Ankle Lock with twice as much force as before.
HEEL HOOK TO STANDING ANKLE LOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh911ANtamc
“Though you slap with the fury of a thousand abusive husbands, when it comes to grappling you are my female dog!” Maria shouted over the tortured screams of her opponent as she tried to unscrew Macy’s foot. “Crawl for the rubber-coated steel cables, Macy Renquist! Crawl like the female dog that you are!”
Renquist abhorred being told what to do, least of all by a conniving thief, but in her current predicament she didn’t have much say in the matter. Gnashing her teeth together and doing her best to ignore the throbbing agony in her left elbow and right ankle, Macy dragged herself towards the edge of the ring on her forearms. It took what felt like hours to her, but after a Herculean effort, Renquist had crawled to within arm’s-length of her lifeline.
“Yes…! YES…!” Macy gasped as the fingertips of her quivering, outstretched hand brushed against the ring ropes. “...NO! NOOOO!”
At the last possible moment, Maria threw herself in reverse, backpedaling and hauling her victim all the way back to the center of the ring to groans of despair from supporters of the Beach Blaster. Rather than continue to work the ankle, Alves used the captured leg as a lever to flip Macy onto her back. Still holding onto her opponent’s right foot, Maria stepped around in a circle to twist that limb around her own left shin. It looked like the beginnings of a Figure Four Leglock, but Alves tucked the blonde’s right foot into the crook of her left knee rather than over the top of the joint. She folded Renquist’s left calf Indian style, then secured the cross-legged knot in place by hooking her left foot in the space between Macy’s shins.
INDIAN DEATHLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK_am60-6vY
Kneeling in front of her howling victim, Maria planted a palm on each of Macy’s knees and pushed down and out to increase the pressure of her Indian Deathlock. When a dozen seconds of that torture resulted in much bawling and hair-pulling but no submission, Alves leaned forward to put more of her weight into the hold, and that’s when the Beach Blaster struck back.
Drawing upon a strength born of mad desperation, Renquist crunched forward and threw everything she had left into a Hail Mary slap. With her hands down at her sides, Maria never had a chance to block and she took the wild, looping blow square on the jaw, sending her spiraling to the canvas and freeing Macy from her Indian Deathlock.
Curiously, the judoka staggered back up to her feet almost immediately, although the glazed, vacant look in her eyes and her drunken, stumbling steps indicated that no one was home. She shuffled all the way to the edge of the ring before the autopilot shut off and she collapsed into the ropes, kept upright only by one arm haphazardly draped over the topmost strand.
Back in the center of the ring, Macy gingerly crawled to her hands and knees, grimacing as she put weight on her left arm and right leg. The surge of adrenaline that came from seeing her opponent on the ropes soon dulled the hurt, however, and Renquist forced her way up to verticality with a savage snarl. Rushing forward with a speed which belied how much damage she had just taken to her legs, Macy extended her good arm and delivered a ferocious Clothesline that sent the unwitting judoka clear over the top rope and out of the ring.
“Who’s the bitch now, BITCH?!” Renquist furiously spat at her opponent who was now splayed out on the thinly padded cement floor.
No answer from Alves of course, she was too busy twitching in the aftermath of that unpleasant fall. Macy loved the view, indeed she wanted nothing more than to savor it for several seconds but the champion’s instinct demanded she clamber down there and get the flattened judoka back in the squared circle. Allowing herself a few deep breaths, Renquist pointed a commanding index finger at Carpenter and said, “I want the FULL count, understand? And if I hear you start to speed up, I’ll roll in and break it at nineteen.”
Al regarded her carefully. “I do. Don’t make me regret this, Macy.”
The Beach Blaster didn’t answer because she’d already dipped through the ropes and dropped to the floor beside Maria. “You’re the best f*cking judoka I’ve ever had the pleasure of slapping.” Macy admitted as she peeled Alves off the floor with a double handful of hair. “So I need you to understand that what I do next, I don’t do out of disrespect for your style.” Gritting her teeth as she reeled Maria into a Front Facelock with her achin’ left arm, Macy tossed the brunette’s near arm across her shoulders, then grabbed a huge handful of waistband and twisted so that the challenger’s butt was pointed toward the front row FAWNatics. “I’m doing it because you stole my f*cking title.”
On that threatening note, the blonde dipped down and hoisted Alves to about one o’clock before she stepped forward and dropped Alves’ gut-first across the barricade with a nauseating BWUNK! Maria shuddered from toes to nose and coughed up an awful rasping croak that sounded like a machine about to strip its gears. Renquist paid this no mind, she simply grabbed Alves by the scruff of the neck and pulled her up so that the Brazilian resembled more of an upside down ‘L’ rather than an upside down ‘U’.
Fingers twitching ever so slightly, Macy brought her right hand up, over and down in a windmilling slap that CRAAAAACKED against the challenger’s neck!
“AAAAAAAHHHH GAAAAAAHH!” The capacity crowd wailed alongside Maria, though their sympathetic anguish lacked the sharp, glassy quality of the brunette’s keening. Another couple slaps raised an ugly welt which meant Macy had an excellent target for the rest of the baker’s dozen she delivered to the back of Alves’ neck. Pausing only when the tingle in her palm grew to a legitimate burn, Renquist tuned out the crowd noise to hear Carpenter call ‘NINE!’
“Think I can land another dozen before I gotta get’cha back in the ring, Maria? I think I can.”
“Yuuuuuhhh…. you byt--”
Macy buried her other hand in Alves’ sweat-soaked hair and yanked her head up even as she dropped into a crouch, blonde and brunette abruptly nose to nose. “You what?” Renquist asked softly. “Go ahead, sweetie. Use grown up words, I won’t tell anyone.”
Maria met her gaze with shining, furious eyes, the wounded Lightweight struggling to form words after that gut-churning landing. “You… I don’t think I much care for you right now, Macy RenquisTNNNNNGGGGHHHH!” Macy straightened up, stepped back and lunged in with a Kneelift that THWHUNKED against her rival’s temple! That shotgun blast of a blow sent Alves slopping from the barricade to the floor, where she might’ve muttered away the rest of Carpenter’s count if Renquist hauled her up with a handful of trunks and tresses. Muscling the Brazilian onto the apron with a few seconds remaining, Macy shoved her burden under the bottom rope, then slid in after her and dove across Alves’ waist to keep her pinned down through…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Maria twitched a shoulder off the canvas at the last second, earning a roar of appreciation from the crowd in the process. Macy didn’t share their reaction, though she managed to maintain her composure following a single incredulous glare at the referee. “You slipped out of this like it was nothing earlier tonight.” Renquist murmured to the woozy judoka as she pulled her to a slumped seat. “I wonder, can you make the second attempt look just as effortless?”
“It’s not… not effortless, Macy Renquist.” Maria sulked even as the Floridian pinned her left arm overhead with a Half Nelson. “It’s an overabundance of skill and your own mediocrity that only make it look effortlesSSNOOOHHEERRRGGGGHHH!” The Slappin’ Sensation slipped her right arm around Alves’ throat, then twisted her onto her stomach and slid into a seat on the small of her back to trap Maria in a fusion of Katahajime and Camel Clutch.
“Do you submit, Maria? Tell me something!” Carpenter wasted no time checking on his charge as the angle of her back was downright hellacious.
Alves didn’t bother wasting oxygen on a spoken response, instead she waggled an index finger ‘no’ before she tried to worm that hand between her throat and the blonde’s strangling bicep.
Renquist felt the intrusion, wrenched the hold back and forth to make the challenger reconsider her efforts. “Submit.” she grunted. “I’m not a sociopath who threatens a chick’s career, but I will sure as shyt choke you out.”
Maria coughed something that sounded like a denial and kept trying to get her fingers under Macy’s right arm even as she shuffling and sliding her legs, something the Beach Blaster correctly identified as an effort to crawl to the ropes.
“Are you out of your mind?” Renquist raised her haunches by a several inches only to slam ‘em down on Alves’ lower back once, twice, three times. “You can’t defend yourself! Tap out or I could do some real damNGH! NGH! NGH!”
Maria flattened her right hand into a paddle and clapped it against the side of Macy’s face almost half a dozen times! Her technique was simultaneously strong and unrefined and while it didn’t break Renquist’s clutch it did loosen her up enough for the judoka to scramble more than three quarters of the way to freed--“HUUUUUUURRK!”
Macy shifted from a seat to a kneel, the blonde driving her right knee into the base of her opponent’s spine. Coming to the realization that Alves wouldn’t or couldn’t be convinced to surrender, Renquist resolved to choke her into unconsciousness or possibly snap her in ha-- Maria twisted her body out from under that gouging knee, the red-faced brunette wriggling through a quarter turn so she could hook her right ankle over the bottom roNOOOO! Alves actually reached her goal, alas Macy hauled her up and away before she could call for the break!
Shifting effortlessly from the Katahajime to a simple rip-cord grip (Macy’s left hand gripping Maria’s right wrist) once they were on their feet, Renquist pushed off as she stepped back, the force of it whipping Alves around in a drunken half circle to meet a scintillating Bytch Mak--
Maria dipped low and whipped around behind the startled blonde, catching a Waistlock as she did. Macy had just enough time to reach for Alves’ wrists before the Brazilian snapped off a gorgeous bridge that PLANTED Renquist on the back of her head and shoulders! Al swooped in to make the count but ultimately found himself with nothing to do because Maria somersaulted over the blonde and hauled her to verticality. Abandoning the Waistlock in favor of a pair of Wristlocks, Maria pulled Macy’s arms tight across her belly, then folded her in half with a Straightjacket German Suplex! Now the challenger did hold the bridge, Alves ignoring the ghastly pain in her abdomen in an effort to legitimize her claim on the Lightweight gold. Already close to the action, Carpenter led the FAWNatics in counting off…
STRAIGHTJACKET GERMAN SUPLEX @ 00:09
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWvY_X-Wjxk
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Macy twisted to the side with a whisper to spare, the Slappin’ Sensation ending up on her belly with both arms wrapped around her head while Maria was curled in a fetal ball around the roiling maelstrom that’d taken root in her midsection.
Last one standing amidst all this smoldering Lightweight wreckage, Al Carpenter gave blonde and brunette a full internal five count before starting the real thing. “ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…”
Slightly closer to the corner after the pair of suplexes, Maria barrel-rolled to the edge of the ring and used the intersecting ropes as a ladder to haul herself upright. She stood up just long enough to interrupt the double count out, then she sat her rear on the middle turnbuckle with forearms braced against her thighs, panting heavily and glistening with perspiration.
“Macy Renquist, you are as obstinate as a person who is well-known for his or her obstinance,” Alves huffed in between deep breaths. “Surely you have realized you cannot match my grappling. Those in this federation capable of such a feat are so few in number that they may be counted on my earlobes.”
Having ignored the judoka’s numerous oddities and foibles up until now, Carpenter’s curiosity finally got the better of him and he asked, “W-Why… why earlobes…?”
“Because only a half-witted dullard would count on his or her shins,” Maria answered as she shuffled past the official towards her opponent, and Al instantly regretted speaking up.
Without the benefit of the ropes to help her up, Macy was still down on one knee when Alves seized her left wrist and roughly yanked her up to her feet. The sudden jerk on her injured arm sent shivers through her body, and a wordless yelp of pain burst from her lips when that captured limb was brought down hard across the fulcrum of Maria’s shoulder to flip her over and down to the mat once more. Renquist’s ordeal wasn’t finished though, as her opponent continued to work over her arm by dragging her up and throwing her down again, and then again to complete a triplet of Seoi-nage judo tosses.
TRIPLE SEOI-NAGE (@0:46):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNzsuPuR5x4
Upon hearing the inhuman screech that tore out of Macy’s throat following the last toss, Carpenter quickly stepped in and separated the wrestlers when it looked as though Alves was about to go for a fourth, a fifth, and a sixth. Maria’s dark eyes flashed murder at the interloping referee, and Al felt as though he’d just stepped between a predator and its prey, but then the moment passed as quickly as it had come. Alves backed away without further complaint, and her expression returned to its usual inscrutable placidity in the blink of an eye.
“I have twenty-seven techniques to break an arm, Algernon Carpenter, and that was not one of them,” Maria informed the referee with all the casual disinterest of a substitute teacher on a Friday afternoon.
Carpenter wasn’t about to take Alves at her word, especially when she had proven to be less than trustworthy in the past. Tuning out the voice in his head telling him to stop the match, he crouched down to check on the beleaguered champion as she cradled her left arm to her stomach with her eyes and jaw squeezed tight to keep the tears and the screams from escaping.
“How’s the arm, Macy?” the referee asked. “Can you give me a thumbs up if you can still go, or do I have to call this one?”
Renquist clenched all the fingers on her left hand except the middle into a fist, then with a great effort, she tried to raise that single upturned digit up to Al’s eye level. She was only able to lift her arm a few inches before a vile bolt of pain shot through her elbow and shoulder, however, and she dropped the limb back into her lap with a sharp gasp.
“That’s no good,” Carpenter sighed with a shake of his head. “Macy, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you risk --”
“NO!” the blonde roared, her eyes snapping fully open as she grabbed the collar of the official’s striped shirt with her good hand. “NO, GODDAMN IT! NO! If you think I’m gonna let this clown waltz outta here with MY title belt for a SECOND time because of a FUCKING referee stoppage --”
The Slappin’ Sensation abruptly cut herself off, recognizing that her raving hysterics were quite the opposite of convincing. She sat up and took a moment to compose herself, and when she spoke again she made sure that her voice carried its usual jaunty confidence.
“No worries, Al,” she said while smoothing out the front of the man’s shirt. “Luck for me I got two arms and I only need one to slap the ever-lovin’ shit outta this punk-ass bitch!”
Before the referee could protest, Macy put a hand on his shoulder and pushed herself to her feet with a groan and a hiss, her body language making it clear that she would brook no further argument. With her left arm hanging slack at her side and a noticeable hitch in her gait, Renquist let loose a primal battlecry -- equal parts rage and frustration -- then lowered a shoulder and charged headlong into her opponent.
Maria braced for impact as best she could, though she couldn’t keep a soft cry of pain from escaping her lips when she took the brunt of the collision in her battered gut. Macy’s runaway momentum drove her all the way to the edge of the ring, but instead of calling for a break once her back was against the ropes, Alves latched onto her opponent’s left arm once more. The judoka deftly bent and twisted the captured limb behind Renquist’s back and threaded her own forearm into the crook of the elbow to act as a lever.
With her hooks for her signature Kimura Lock sunk in deep, Alves dug her toes into the canvas and pushed off to spin the pair of entwined wrestlers away from the ropes and towards the center of the squared circle. Before she could take her opponent down to ground and finish the submission, however, Macy’s right hand found its way into one of the legholes of her bottoms and pulled those conservatively-cut briefs upwards into the scantiest of thongs.
The eye-watering wedgie forced Alves up onto tip-toes, yipping and yelping in displeasure as all thoughts of her Kimura were forgotten. Another hateful jerk lifted her off the mat entirely, and for a couple of seconds Maria found herself slung over Macy’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Alves wasn’t there for long, however, as the Beach Blaster suddenly dropped to one knee while the other split the Brazilian’s thighs and smashed into her groin.
INVERTED ATOMIC DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvTCG3QHglI
Caught unaware by the Inverted Atomic Drop counter to her submission, Maria’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as her tailbone bounced off Renquist’s posted right knee. She managed to shamble another few steps, pigeon-toed and with hands clasped between her thighs, then she collapsed to her knees and pitched forward onto her face as a raspy, agonized croak spilled from her throat.
A couple of feet away, Macy also laid on the mat grimacing while clutching at her right knee and ankle, those tenderized joints evidently not up to the task of having the brunette’s full weight violently dropped upon them after being worked over earlier in the match. Had she a choice, Renquist would have stayed down until the last second of the referee’s count, but at “SIX!” she spotted Maria stirring to life out of the corner of her eye.
Not wanting to give up initiative after she’d just gotten it back, Macy forced herself to stand and began limping towards the same corner to which Alves was now crawling. The Slappin’ Sensation was able to beat her foe to the spot, even with one leg dragging heavily, and with her shoulders pressed against the turnbuckles for support, she stepped backwards onto the intersecting middle ropes.
“That’s right, baby. That’s right,” Macy muttered to herself as she watched the unwitting judoka crawl closer and closer, all the while visualizing in her mind’s eye exactly how she would execute her Creature from the Blue Lagoon finishing maneuver.
Leaping from the second rope, she would come down with her thighs straddling either side of her opponent’s neck…
“Yeaaah… yeaaaahhhh… closer, baby, closer…” Renquist continued to mumble, her brow furrowing in concentration.
...while the bare soles of her feet would hit the canvas, and the plywood underneath would flex and rebound to add a boost to her perfectly-timed vertical jump...
“Closer… closer… closer…”
...at the peak of which she would wrap both arms around the judoka’s waist and flip forward, pulling Alves along for the ride as they both tumble through the air...
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon…”
...before ultimately landing on her rump and piledriving the crown of the Brazilian’s skull into the deck.
“COME ON, BITCH! COME ON! COME OOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!” the Beach Blaster screamed at the top of her lungs to psyche herself up, then she leapt from her perch.
Macy’s aim and timing were perfect. Exactly as she had envisioned, the fork of her crotch came crashing down on the back of Maria’s neck just as the dazed judoka was starting to straighten up from a crouch.
Macy’s right ankle, however, was very much not perfect. The joint buckled upon landing, causing her foot to roll inwards and setting off an explosion of agony so intense that the edges of her vision flashed red.
“AARGGGHH SHIT!” Renquist howled as she hopped on her left leg, though she still managed to control her opponent’s neck between her thighs.
Perhaps realizing that her ailments wouldn’t allow her to continue much longer if she didn’t put away her challenger here and now, the Beach Blaster drew in a sharp intake of air, jumped off one foot, and went for her finisher anyway. With a bum ankle and minus the momentum from the bounce, however, Renquist couldn’t put enough power into the front flip to rip Alves off the mat. Her efforts stalled out halfway, leaving her in the precarious position of clinging to Maria’s waist from behind while hanging upside down.
Alves staggered momentarily before regaining her footing, then to groans of dismay from supporters of the Slappin’ Sensation, she hooked her arms over the pits of Macy’s knees and dropped to her haunches, delivering a wicked counter in the form of a Belly to Back Piledriver that drove Renquist headfirst into the deck.
BELLY TO BACK PILEDRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNnpGf5nTmE
The impact drew a gasp from the FAWNatics and left Maria in perfect position for a Schoolgirl Pin, but rather than stay in place to try for a three count she promptly pivoted in a semi-circle while wrapping her left leg around Macy’s neck, squeezing the blonde’s head between calf and glute. The blonde’s senses were still too scrambled to resist, and Alves easily collected both her left wrist and right ankle, tucking each under an armpit to trap the injured limbs in a CHIKARA Special.
CHIKARA SPECIAL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFD3Dt32VLk
“NRRRRGGGHHH GGAAAAAWWWWDDD!” Macy howled back to life when the judoka simultaneously targeted her arm and ankle with a Wristlock and Toe Hold. “NO! NOOOOOOOOO!”
“I will not ask for your submission, Macy Renquist,” Maria grunted through clenched teeth as she poured on the pressure. “I will take it.”
“You… you evil b-bitch…” Renquist bawled, hot tears streaking from the corners of her eyes as more and more of her iron will melted away with every searing throb from her tortured joints. “I’ll n-n-never let you take mmmMMMPPHHH!”
Alves reared back in her seat, putting even more ungodly strain on the Beach Blaster’s arm and leg. As an unintended consequence, the judoka’s shift in position also rolled her haunches directly over Macy’s face, adding a suffocating Facesit to the blonde’s unenviable predicament. Stubborn pride compelled Renquist to resist the inevitable for another thirty seconds, far longer than anyone could have expected, but a sudden eruption of pain from a twist of her ankle and a jerk of her arm proved more than she could bear.
“Staaaaahhhhhp… I quuiiiiit… I qu-iii-iii-iii-it…” Macy softly sobbed into the judoka’s undercarriage, and when her muffled verbal submission went unacknowledged for another five seconds, Renquist extended her free arm and delivered the final three slaps of her title reign to the canvas.
Having burned through the very last fumes of her reserves, Macy let unconsciousness take her just as she heard the CLANG of the bell, thoughts of revenge already dancing through her mind as the merciful darkness closed in.
“YOUR WINNER… BY SUBMISSION… AND NEW LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION… MARIIIIAAAAA AAAAALLLLLLVVVEEESSSS!” the ring announcer proclaimed, marking the end of one dynasty and the beginning of what was potentially another to a smattering of applause amid a larger number of disappointed groans.
Al Carpenter moved quickly to pry the judoka away from her latest victim, and to his mild surprise, Maria voluntarily released her holds on Macy’s arm and leg. Head bowed and shoulders slumped in exhaustion, Alves remained in her seat atop the blonde’s face, though Al was relieved to see she showed no interest in the tawdry bump and grind that usually accompanied such a position. When Carpenter offered to help her up, she refused with a single upraised hand.
“Algernon Carpenter, fetch my royal accoutrements,” she huffed, and after a beat, the referee realized that she meant the Lightweight title belt and the rest of her gear.
The man did as bade, retrieving first her gi and black belt from the floor where she had doffed them, and then collecting the title strap along with her crown and scepter from the announcer’s table. Arms full of loot, Al rolled back into the ring and laid them at Maria’s side and watched cautiously as she slowly, deliberately put on each piece of regalia -- gi, then black belt, then crown -- before she finally stood with the Lightweight title over one shoulder and her scepter in the opposite hand.
Maria gave the still unconscious blonde a stiff, formal bow, then she turned towards the crowd and thrust her bejeweled staff high into the air.
“The usurper has been repelled, and the rightful king prevails! Huzzah!” she belted out to the crowd, and for the first time there were a scattered handful of Huzzahs! in response, then she thumped the bottom of her scepter into the deck and shouted, “Eunuchs! ASSEMBLE!”
On command, Maria’s quartet of warriors came jogging down the entrance ramp, each still carrying her shield and spear. They slid into the ring and stood around their Alves in a square, dutifully awaiting her next orders. The newly minted Lightweight champion merely pointed her scepter at the splayed out form of Macy Renquist, and they immediately moved to surround the waylaid blonde.
“Uhhh ladies…” Al Carpenter nervously murmured as he protectively knelt down next to Macy. “...I don’t know what’s going on here but --”
“MACY RENQUIST!” Alves bellowed in her most regal sounding voice. “FOR THE HIGH CRIMES OF OBSTRUCTING THE PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER AND INSURRECTION AGAINST THE THRONE, YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO DEATH --”
“WHAAAAAAAAT,” the FAWNatics immediately roared back, baffled as always by the judoka’s eccentricities.
“-- BY NATURAL CAUSES!” Maria finished.
“WHAAAAAAAAT,” the audience shouted once more, somehow even more confused than they were a moment ago as the champion’s kingsguard returned to her side without a word.
“Eunuchs! Though the day is ours, I foresee many wars in the weeks to come!” Alves declared. “We cannot linger and bask in the glory of triumph, for we must begin preparations on our home planet!”
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Acting as one, all four of the Brazilian’s guards raised their spears and thumped the ends of the shafts into the deck. Doing so triggered some sort of internal mechanism that released a burst of white smoke from the spearheads that quickly dispersed to envelop and obscure the entire ring and everyone inside it.
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Coughing and sputtering, Al waved his arms around in a futile effort to fan away the fog which was now so thick and opaque that he couldn’t see his own shoelaces. He blindly stumbled around until his groping hands found a set of corner turnbuckles, and he leaned against them for support while he lifted the collar of his shirt to cover his nose and mouth in an impromptu mask. Carpenter stayed there for another minute or so until the mist finally thinned out to reveal…
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
...Maria and her cadre standing exactly where they had been before, seemingly having not moved a muscle.
“Wh-what the -- ?!” the veteran referee stammered, every bit as bewildered as the fans in attendance. “You’re still here?! Why?!”
Alves only responded with a wordless, quizzical glance.
“The theatrics…! And that speech…! You can’t just do something that absurdly elaborate and not pay it off!” Al protested. “Why in the WORLD would you just stand there after setting up a stealthy, mysterious exit with the smoke and the talk of going back to your home planet?!”
Maria glared at the man like he was an imbecile, then after a long, awkward pause she flatly answered, “My home planet is Earth and I am already here.”
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Suddenly feeling like he was trapped in the Twilight Zone, Carpenter could only think to ask, “And the smoke?! What was the point of the smoke? Did it even DO anything?!”
“It slightly increased our lifetime risk of mesothelioma,” Alves replied with a casual shrug of her shoulders.
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
After another ten seconds of the gobsmacked referee staring blankly at her, Maria broke the silence and said, “You are a strange and silly person, Algernon Carpenter, and I find you quite off-putting. Good day, sir or madam, I say, good day!”
With that, she turned on her heels and finally made her exit, her kingsguard silently following behind. The FAWNatics serenaded them with chants of “WHAAAAAAAAT” as they marched their way back up the entrance ramp. It wasn’t until Maria and her crew had disappeared through the curtains that Al felt his sanity restored, and then he remembered he still had to tend to one of his charges.
As Macy started to rouse back to consciousness, the referee knelt down to ensure that she hadn’t suffered any damage worse than a sprain or two. The moment he got to one knee and instinctively braced a hand against his own thigh for support, however, he realized something was terribly wrong.
“Goddamn it, she took my wallet…” Al groaned in despair.
PAPER PLANES - M.I.A.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewRjZoRtu0Y
’Paper Planes’ by M.I.A. announced the entrance of the Brazilian judoka. Maria stepped through the curtains at the top of the entrance ramp, dressed in a white gi and black belt, albeit much more form fitting than regulation typically allowed. Unlike her standard judo-wear, Alves continued to go without pants for her professional wrestling matches at the behest of the marketing and wardrobe departments, bare below the hips save for a pair of black bikini bottoms to preserve her modesty.
MARIA ALVES
Though she had left her kingsguard behind for a one-on-one trial by combat, Maria brought along her royal diadem and caduceus for her walk to the ring, perhaps to remind all in attendance of her self-proclaimed kingly status. The ill-begotten Lightweight title strap laid across her left shoulder, the judoka electing not to wear it around her waist so as to not obscure the other belt that served as a testament to her prodigious skills.
After taking in her surroundings for a few seconds, Alves calmly padded down the entrance ramp on her bare feet, occasionally bobbing her head to the beat of her music. She made a brief detour to the announcer’s table and carefully set down her crown, rod, and belt, then she climbed into the squared circle and claimed one corner for herself.
“Hello again, Nicholas Castle,” Maria greeted the referee who came to check her gear. “I see you are Algernon Carpenter now.”
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Al Carpenter sighed, “At least you’re not calling me ‘Merle’ like -- HEY! This is my wallet!”
Carpenter pulled a very familiar leather billfold out of the judoka’s left sleeve, though Alves only offered an indifferent, dismissive scoff when he gave her an accusing glare.
“How did you -- ?! You know what...? Nevermind, I don’t care…” Al grumbled to himself as he shoved his wallet back into the side pocket of his trousers before returning to his pre-match inspection.
Maria managed to cadge Al’s wallet three more times during the course of his inspection, meaning the zebra wasn’t quite finished when the Announcer called, “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Blue Bay, Florida, stands at five feet three inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and seventeen pounds. She is the Slappin’ Sensation, ladies and the FAWN Lightweight Champion… MACY RENQUIST!”
MESS AROUND:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJlFKmfZGL4
MACY RENQUIST:
The Heartbroken throng shook the rafters with their reaction, those amassed decibels evenly split between cheers or bellowing the ‘UH-OH’s!’ that marked the opening to Cage the Elephant’s ‘Mess Around’. Macy herself showed up a few seconds later, the svelte stunner blowing through the curtain without breaking her stride. Losing the Golden Exhibition to Becky Clayton had been tough, albeit tolerable. But having her Lightweight Championship stolen by the lunatic judoka in the aftermath had put Renquist in a foul mood for a whole month.
Now, with her prize finally in sight, the blonde went straight down the aisle with none of her usual fanfare. Oh, the hands were still extended in her directions on both sides, but the Beach Blaster ignored them in favor of staring a hole through the thief. Breaking into a sprint when she reached the foot of the ramp, Macy dove under the bottom rope and bounced to her feet in a single fluid motion.
Already aware of the champ’s volcanic mood, Carpenter moved to the middle of the ring with a thought to intercepting Renquist on the very good chance that she tried to slap Maria’s face ‘round backward before the bell. This was a commendable plan but in the end it proved unnecessary because Macy didn’t go for the challenger. Instead she doffed her headphones and varsity jacket in the span between heartbeats and tossed them at the official. Beneath the latter she wore a strappy white two piece with pink trim and matching accents. Her knee and elbow pads were an identical black, while the ankle wraps she wore in place of boots were matte pink, an homage to her Astonishing trainer.
Denied the chance to raise her gold before the match began, Renquist settled for planting a smooch on the fingers of her right hand, which she in turn smacked into her left palm with an echoing CRAAAAAACK! The wordless threat earned nothing but a quizzically raised eyebrow from Maria Alves, but the crowd responded with a cacophonous ‘WOOOOOOO!’ which would suffice until she actually managed to get those dangerous hands on the larcenous challenger.
Macy went for the thief the instant Carpenter called for the bell, the aggrieved blonde cutting across the squared circle on a razor sharp diagonal. Maria noted Renquist’s approach and set off along the ropes to ensure she wouldn’t be caught against the unforgiving corn--“Ngh!”
The Slappin’ Sensation hooked around and darted in fast with a forehand swat that struck Alves’ right bicep just below the shoulder. Maria grimaced, tried for a clinch and got bulled into the strands for her trouble. Ignoring the urge to call for a break, she snaked her arms around Macy’s waist and right arm to effectively pin the latter to the former in an awkward Bear Hug even as the champion continued to slap away at her bicep and forearm. Alves never called for a break and Renquist certainly didn’t look inclined to give her one, yet they were still smudged against the ropes so Al strode over a few seconds later and ordered, “Ok ladies, let’s break this up and resume in the middle of the ring, ok?”
Macy delivered one more slap, snorted in disgust, then raised her free hand to acknowledge the ref’s request. Given his past experience with the kleptomaniac judoka Al expected some degree of sass from Maria, but she only gave the grip a single quick squeeze before unlocking her hands. Carpenter offered a thanks for their compliance but the referee might as well have been a voice on the moon for all the attention blonde and brunette paid him as they moved their conflict to the wider expanse of center ring.
There they began to circle, the pair of Lightweights watching one another with a sort of brazen intensity that was a far cry from the sass and swagger they’d displayed against earlier opposition. After a few lunges and feints from both ladies, it was Maria who broke the silence. “I sense anger, no that’s not right… moral condemnation? Would you care to explain yourself, Macy?”
The corners of Renquist’s mouth turned ever so slightly up, the champ showing a disgusted smile as she continued to circle. “I could almost, almost forgive stealing the title, it’s so brazen I have to respect it, but then you show up for this match sheathed from shoulder to hip in ‘don’t slap me!’ armor? That’s pathetic, Maria. Even for a thief.”
Alves smiled back, the brunette raising a finger to trace down the edge of one lapel. “You disapprove of my attire, then? Perhaps I could be persuaded to remove it in exchange for--” Renquist snatched hold of the challenger’s lapel presumably to pull her in for a bit of nose to nose trash talk, but she never got the chance because Maria caught the wrist in both hands and pivoted / thrust her right hip into the blonde’s belly to sling her over and down onto her butt with an audible thud.
JUDO TOSS @00:54
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA8hEh9fD4I
Still in possession of her opponent’s wrist, Alves hopped over and yanked Renquist to her fee--“NNNNGGGHH!”
Macy brought her free hand down in a whistling overhand slap that struck Maria’s wrists hard enough to break the brunette’s grip. Twisting and rising in the same practiced motion, the Slappin’ Sensation reached over one shoulder to catch Maria in a Three Quarters Facelock so she could treat her to the same butt-on-canvas collision, albeit with a Snapmare. Understanding that Maria’s belt would prevent her from simply yanking the modified Gi jacket up over the Brazilian’s head, Macy grabbed hold of the collar, then drew back a leg and THWHAPPED a heavy Soccer Kick between her shoulders!
The pained shiver running up and down her spine only froze Alves for a second or two, yet it was still plenty of time for Renquist to drop to one knee and claim possession of both wrists. With her posted knee wedged between Maria’s shoulders, Macy leaned forward, then craaaaaaaaaanked backward to put some unpleasant strain on her opponent’s shoulders. “You’re not getting any concessions from me, cutie.” Renquist noted as she worked the brunette’s arms like they were a rowing machine. “I already busted my ass convincing Christian, Thomas and DeCyr to make this an actual match instead of just having your thieving ass busted for grand larceny.”
SEATED SURFBOARD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwKOOnWXCQ8
Alves shook her head ‘no’ to ward off Carpenter’s question of surrender, but her words were for Macy alone. “I stole nothing. I simply wished to inspect a pair of gaudy accessories someone had returned to the lost and founEEERRRGGGHHH!”
Renquist eased the pressure only to immediately redouble her efforts, the blonde cranking her opponent’s arms back at an increasingly painful angle. “Don’t even think about pulling that absurdist bullshyt with me, girl. Don’t you dare. You STOLE my title, not because you’re lazy or untalented, but because you’re a f*cking thief and that’s what thieves f*cking do.”
Maria grimaced, leaned left, then right, but could find no obvious escape hatch for the Surfboard. “Strong accusations, Macy.” the brunette grunted. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever paused to consider your own culpability in our current situatioNNNGGGHH!”
Renquist stood without abandoning the Wristlocks, meaning Alves couldn’t avoid or even defend against the knee the blonde drove between the center of her shoulders. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this bullshyt.” Macy snapped. “Go on then, sweetheart. Tell me how this is my fault.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Alves was still rocking from side to side, presumably in an effort to rise from her butt to one knee. “If you hadn’t allowed Becky Clayton to drive you through the canvas at Thrills, Chills & Spills, you would have been cogent enough to defend your precious belt against my cunning machina--” Maria’s words got cut off with an audible clack, then brunette’s jaw snapping shut when Renquist tried to touch her palms to one another.
“Are you f*cking kidding me?” Macy growled at the struggling judoka. “Clayton wasn’t even vertical at the end of that match! The only thing between you and both of those straps was Nick Castle and EVEN THEN you barely got it--”
Alves twisted left, finally slipping free of Renquist’s grinding knee. “Yes, I still achieved my objective. Which is far more than I can say of you, Macy. The Lightweight Championship is hardly a participation award. If you can’t defend it, you shouldn’t rrrrgggggggggghhhhhh!”
The Beach Blaster got to her feet and wrenched Alves’ arms through a near full rotation, the pain of which forced the challenger to clamber to her feet. “What’s that feel like, Maria? Does it feel like I can’t defend my title?” Renquist huffed. “Funny how differently things play out when you can’t jump me from beHEY!”
Alves shot up on tiptoe only to drop down flat on her back, an abrupt shift that, thanks to the tethering Wristlocks, bent Macy over almost double. In the next instant she pistoned both feet up into Renquist’s chest and tugged forward while slinging the blonde forward and down with a sort of Reverse Monkey Flip! Happy to seize control of the Wristlocks from her startled foe, Maria set her feet against Renquist’s shoulder and pressed down while simultaneously tugging her arms overhead to keep the wriggling battler in place for…
ONE….
TWO…
Macy twisted free just after ‘TWO’ and hurried to her feet as Maria did the same. A stereo lunge looked like it would end in a clench or possibly an exchange of Slaps, so the FAWNatics buzzed with surprise when Alves caught the champ’s wrist coming in and used it to dump her right back to the deck. Just like that Maria dropped to a seat and threaded her thighs around that exposed bicep in anticipation of the JujigataNOOOO! Macy exploded to one knee, the Beach Blaster folding the brunette into a Matchbook that allowed her to snatch the cuff of Alves’ jacket, thus blocking the hold for now.
“Not complaining about the jacket now, are you?” Maria chided as she worked to fight out of Macy’s grip. “It’s the only thing keeping me from hyper-extending your elbow.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, brat.” Macy countered. “It’s the only thing stopping me from slapping your face into the lower deck.”
Renquist pushed up onto tiptoes, stacking Alves upside-down onto her shoulders and forcing the referee to start the pin count. Al didn’t quite get to “TWO” before Maria uncrossed her legs, planted her heels against Macy’s collarbones, and kicked the blonde away. The recoil sent Alves herself tumbling backwards over a shoulder, and she regained her feet just in time to catch a blistering slap to the face, the loud WHACK of palm against cheek echoing from every corner of the FAWN Arena.
Such was the force of the Lightweight champion’s signature strike that it spun the challenger completely around, sending Maria stumbling towards the edge of the ring. If Alves thought she could find reprieve in the ropes she was sorely mistaken, however, as Renquist was on her in a second. Threading one arm under the judoka’s armpit and behind her head while drawing the other across her throat, Macy clamped down on her Katahajime Choke and looked to secure an early finish.
KATAHAJIME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I96O5Xnntg
Alves was intimately familiar with the classic judo choke though, and whereas previous challengers to the Lightweight throne had panicked under the same situation, Maria kept her wits about her. She spread her legs out wide and dropped her hips down, broadening her base and lowering her center of gravity to prevent Macy from taking her to the mat with the hold secure. Disaster averted for the moment, she lifted a foot and delivered a quick, forceful stomp to the blonde’s exposed toes, causing Renquist to yelp in pain and to loosen the choke by just a fraction of an inch.
A fraction of an inch was more than enough for a black belt prodigy, however, and Maria squirmed until she had the crown of her skull position directly underneath Macy’s chin. Alves suddenly let her legs go slack and dropped to the mat, pulling her captor down with her. The Brazilian landed flat on her rear, an unpleasant shock to be sure, but Renquist took the worst of it when the force impact transferred through Maria’s spine and skull and directly into her jaw.
The improvised Jawbreaker knocked the Slappin’ Sensation loopy for a moment, her arms slipping away from her foe’s neck and instead moving to cradle her chin. Out of the corner of her eye, Macy saw the judoka shooting in for a takedown, and she fired off another vicious slap at where she thought the other woman’s face would be. Alas, her double vision betrayed her aim and allowed Maria to duck under the blow and pivot around to take her back.
Having already tasted more slaps than she cared to, Alves quickly neutralized Macy’s arms by hooking them with her own to form a pair of chickenwings, then she popped her hips and arched her back to send the Lightweight champion up, over, and down into the mat with a Tiger Suplex.
TIGER SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlY1JtKteKI
The FAWNatics oooh’ed in sympathetic pain as Macy landed squarely on the back of her head and neck, her upturned haunches pointing towards the ceiling and her arms still hooked behind her back. Maria bridged up a little higher to force her opponent’s shoulders to the canvas, and Carpenter dropped down and pounded out…
ONE!
TWO!
...before Renquist bucked free and slopped onto her side to retain her championship for at least another three seconds. For her part, Maria seemed to be in no hurry as she sat up in the center of the ring with her legs folded in a neat criss-cross, rubbing at her cheek with one hand and wiggling her jaw side-to-side to check for loose teeth. Once the ringing in her ears had stopped and she was satisfied that all her molars were present and accounted for, she rose to her feet and padded over to her opponent who was just crawling to hands and knees.
Maria unceremoniously dropped to a seat between Macy’s shoulderblades, pancaking the blonde face-first into the mat and forcing her to relinquish whatever vertical progress she’d made. Now straddling her opponent’s back, Alves reached down and scooped her hands under the blonde’s chin, interlocking her fingers for a tighter grip. Maria leaned back to apply pressure with a Camel Clutch, but in neglecting to hook Macy’s arms over the planks of her thighs, she had left the door open for the Slappin’ Sensation.
Free to do as she wished with both hands, Renquist grabbed both of her opponent’s calves and yanked them forward to throw Alves off balance. Maria lost her grip on Macy’s chin and spilled onto her rear, and in a heartbeat the Beach Blaster twisted about and pounced on her, leaving the two wrestlers face to face with Alves on her back and Renquist crouched between her thighs.
The judoka instinctively pulled guard, wrapping her legs tightly around Renquist’s waist to prevent the Slappin’ Sensation from rearing back and getting the leverage to put full power into those withering strikes. Her less than ideal position was no deterrent for Macy, however, and she planted her left hand into the cleft of Maria’s bosom for support and control, and with her right she began peppering the Brazilian with slaps -- forehand, then backhand, then forehand, then backhand, on and on and on and on.
Alves threw up her arms to absorb the blows, the thick linen sleeves on her gi taking some of the bite out of those stinging impacts. Once she got a read on Macy’s rhythm and timed the lull in the barrage, Maria struck like a coiled viper, dropping both hands from guard to snatch control of the blonde’s planted left wrist while simultaneously uncoiling her legs from around Macy’s waist only to re-wrap them around Macy’s head, neck, and left arm in a deadly Triangle Choke.
TRIANGLE CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRJpJc8mkLs
Having learned her lesson earlier, Maria rolled to one side to get one shoulder off the mat, preventing Renquist from stacking her for another counter-pin. Macy still had a free arm, however, and after preemptively waving off the referee, she put her favorite slappin’ hand to good use and delivered a dozen meaty WHACK’s in half as many seconds to the judoka’s bare thigh. Hissing and grimacing despite herself as splotchy red and purple welts formed on her olive skin with every impact, Alves decided after a few hits to try a different tactic.
The judoka released the Triangle Choke in order to plant a foot on Macy’s right shoulder, and a hard kick put the Slappin’ Sensation flat on her back with an arm still dangerously in Maria’s grasp. Renquist quickly recognized her precarious situation and immediately clasped her hands together to block a second attempt at the Jujigatame just as Alves shifted position to scissor her left arm with both legs. Maria laced a forearm through the crook of her opponent’s elbow for more leverage and gave a couple of hard yanks, but Macy’s defensive grip held fast and prevented the challenger from hyperextending her left arm.
“That’s right, Maria,” Renquist grunted through her clenched teeth while the pair were locked in a stalemate. “You’re not the only one with judo skills.”
Alves huffed as though mildly annoyed, then she sighed, “Macy Renquist, you have both the judo acumen and the mustache of a small child.”
Macy didn’t have time to wonder what exactly that meant before her opponent shifted positions again into yet another submission. Uncrossing her ankles and spinning about in her seat, Maria threw her right calf over the top of Renquist’s crooked left forearm and squeezed down with her legs to force the trapped limb to bend. With her own forearm still wedged inside Macy’s elbow and acting as a fulcrum, the sharp bones in her wrist sliced into Macy’s bicep like a rock jammed into the jaws of a nutcracker.
BICEP SLICER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4PHQ7lnvZg
“ARRGGH NO! NOOO!” Macy shrieked as she felt like the tendons in her elbow might burst under the intense strain of her opponent’s Bicep Slicer, her free arm and both of her legs spasmodically thrashing in agony.
“Do not worry, Macy,” Maria gently soothed even as she bridged her hips to pour on even more pressure. “A compound fracture of your elbow and forearm may end your wrestling career, but previous experience indicates that it will not prevent you from achieving similar mediocrity on the futebooo-OOOOAAAAHHH!”
As the judoka was prattling about alternative athletic pathways, Renquist managed to reach over with her right hand and hook a couple of fingers into the side of her opponent’s open mouth. Her cheek caught on the fishhook, Maria had no choice but to follow when the Beach Blaster pulled her hard to the side lest she be inflicted with one-half of a Glasgow grin. Alves toppled over and lost her hooks on the Bicep Slicer, though much to her inward relief, she was also able to safely tear Macy’s hand away from her face during the tumble. The pair of wrestlers rolled in opposite directions, each cautiously rising to her feet near a set of turnbuckles and rubbing at her aches and pains.
“Bet’cher old sensei didn’t teach ya that one!” Renquist barked, her right hand protectively clasped over the inner elbow of her left arm.
“Macy Renquist...” Alves snarled from across the ring as she clutched her jaw, her eyes narrowed in a rare outward show of anger. “...you are an anus.”
The Beach Blaster snorted softly, derision stamped clearly across her pretty features. For a moment it looked like she’d answer, instead she decided on a different approach at the last moment. Treating her fingers to a theatrical smooch, she cocked a hip at the challenger and slapped the be-smooched hand to her glute, much to the delight of the FAWNatics.
Maria proved far less enthused, though her disgust didn’t stop the crafty judoka from closing the distance with her adversary when Macy did the same. Ignoring the unpleasant ache in her left elbow, Renquist curled that hand into a slight paddle and let it lead to make sure Alves knew there were still plenty of slaps with her name on ‘em. Maria greeted this subtle threat with no reaction at all, her expression a carefully neutral blank once more.
The action however was anything but neutral, indeed it went from zero to sixty in the span between heartbeats when Macy lashed out with a Slap that turned out to be a sturdy grip on Maria’s collar instead! Alves snatched that the blonde’s wrist just as quickly and would’ve done terrible things to the champ’s entire arm if Renquist hadn’t gone off script with a straight right hand that PWAAAKED against the challenger’s mouth! Maria’s head snapped backward while the rest of her went in the opposite direction, Macy using her grip to reel her foe into a Broadside Kneelift that thumped across Alves’ trim tum--
“OOOWWW!” Maria shouted in pained surprise when Renquist brought her raised foot down on the Brazilian’s bare toes! Wrenching her way clear of the blonde’s grip, Alves offered her back to Renquist in hopes of drawing out another choke attempt. Instead it got her a quick Kneelift to the small of the back, Macy hopping just enough to deliver the strike with leg-jellying force.
“Get back here, baby.” the Slappin’ Sensation caught hold of Maria’s belt and reeled her in so she could collect her arms in the same Double Chickenwing she’d endured earlier. Hands joined in a single fist, Macy dropped into a deep crouch and snapped off a high bridge that THWUMPED Alves down on the back of her head and shoulders courtesy of a retaliatory Tiger Suplex.
Renquist didn’t hold the bridge but she didn’t release Maria’s either. Rather she rolled to one knee and got to her feet, thus forcing Maria to do the same. Soon as they were upright she traded in the Chickenwing on Alves’ left arm for a Half Nelson that pinned it over the brunette’s head at an awkward angle. “This is what you get.” Macy whispered in Maria’s right ear an instant before she tore Alves off her feet and laid out flat to turn the judoka inside out with a hellacious Half & Half Suplex! Maria landed high and tight on the nape of her neck, rolled through to her stomach and ultimately slopped to her back whereupon covered her in a north-south arrangement, the champ pressing her cheek to Maria’s tummy while her chest pressed against the challenger’s face for a count of…
HALF & HALF SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2qPcSeAttk
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Alves powered free of the cover with half a second to spare, though she’d no more than made it to her stomach when Macy snatched an ankle in each hand. The Figure Four came immediately thereafter, the brunette’s left shin wedged into the pit of her right knee so that leg could be folded up to keep both in place with minimal fuss from the Lightweight Champion. Bracing her left knee against those crossed limbs was more than adequate to do the job which meant Renquist’s right knee was free to find a new home in the small of Maria’s back.
Still groggy from the Half & Half, Alves retained the presence of mind to throw her arms over the back of her head to protect against what she could only imagine was an inevitable barrage of head Slaps. This was a completely understandable strategic choice, yet tonight it proved a costly error because Renquist grabbed hold of the challenger’s right wrist and pulled that arm ‘round the other way, threading it under Maria’s chin in an oh so tight Cutthroat.
“What’re you going to do now, Maria?” Macy switched her grip from the brunette’s wrist to the cuff of her Gi jacket so she could pull the Cutthroat that much tighter. “You going to sit there and wriggle while I choke you out or are you going to expose your head in the hopes of crawling to the ropes?”
That exact question had been running through Alves’ mind for the last several seconds. To hear it verbalized by the blonde did nothing to soothe her chagrin. “I’m… sure you would love for me to divulge my strategy.” Maria muttered as she began to squirm and micro-adjust within the confines of her foe’s hold. “But you’ll find I’m not as easily flustered as the rest of your oppositNO! NO DAMN IT! NNNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Renquist caught hold of Alves’ left wrist and went to slide it across her throat and in so doing convert the Cutthroat to a full Straightjacket. Unwilling to surrender her last free limb no matter the consequences, Maria wrested her hand away from Macy before the Beach Blaster could secure her grip, then dug that elbow into the canvas so she could drag their combined bulk to the ropes.
She’d made it less than six inches when Renquist flattened her right hand into a paddle and CRAAAAAACKED a Bytch Slap against Alves’ right ear.
Fireworks went off behind the Brazilian’s eyes once, twice, three times, each explosion corresponding with the slap to her ear and two subsequent slaps to her face. There would’ve been more, but the judoka covered up again, her left hand desperately cupped over her ringing right ear.
Macy landed a few shots to the curve of her skull, then grabbed hold of the brunette’s collar and gave it a rough shake. “Tap out, Maria.” Renquist grunted. “Tap out or I will Slap you out.”
“Yuuuhhh… you very well could.” Alves groaned. “But I’m going to finish this before you get the chanRRRGGAAAAHHHHH!”
Macy yanked up on her collar grip just to drive Maria’s face and chest into the thinly-sheathed plywood. To make matters worse she began yanking the collar left and right, the Slappin’ Sensation showing off her scrubbin’ technique by wiping Alves’ pretty face all over the mat!
Carpenter let the aggressive abrasion go on uncontested for a full five seconds but when Renquist showed no signs of stopping he stepped in and said, “Ok Macy, that’s enough of that. Let go of her collar.”
“Are you kidding me?” Macy paused her assault without giving up her grip. “This piece of crap straight up STEALS my title after the hardest match of my life, then has the gall to show up in the fighting equivalent of a chunky sweater and you’re telling me to let her go? That’s bullshyt, Al!”
“I’m not saying you can’t grab the jacket.” Carpenter countered. “I’m saying you can’t use it to scrape her face off.”
Renquist opened her mouth, then shut it without a word. After a moment’s pause she let go of Maria’s collar and raised that hand to shoulder level. “There. Happy noOOOOOWWWW BYTCH!” Macy shrieked in surprised anguish when Alves finally managed to jam her right thumb into the pressure point on the underside of the champ’s left wrist! Renquist pulled away from the challenger like she was electrified, the sudden separation allowing the red-faced Maria to push to her hands and knees and scramble to the--
“Ropes!” the judoka bellowed. “Keep her off, I’m in the ropOOOFFFFHHH!”
Macy caught her amidships with a Basement Dropkick that sent Alves tumbling between the bottom and middle strands. “Get back in here. Get your ass back in here right goddamned now.” Renquist hissed under her breath as she got her feet and tended to her aching left arm.
There was no response from Maria for quite some time, indeed Al was at ‘ELEVEN!’ on his count by the time the brunette rose into view. Locking eyes with the blonde, Alves deftly undid the knotted belt at her waist, pulled it aside and let it drop. Then she rolled her shoulders and shrugged out of the Gi jacket to leave her clad in nothing more than a simple black bikini.
Seeing this, Macy backpedaled to the center of the squared circle and crouched down to sweep an invisible line on the canvas at her feet.
“Come and get it, Maria.” Renquist challenged. “You want what’s mine? Come in here and take it, if you f*cking can.”
“I already have,” Alves replied, raising her volume but purposefully keeping her tone flat amid the chorus of catcalls that came from revealing more of her toned, slender frame. “And unlike yourself, I keep what I take.”
“Oh, BULLSHIT!” the blonde snarled as she charged forward as soon as her opponent slid back into the ring.
Maria scrambled upright just in time to grab outstretched Macy’s lead arm for a takedown as Renquist rushed in, but in committing both hands to control just one, she fell hook, line, and sinker for the Slappin’ Sensation’s bait. A whistling overhand slap landed squarely on Maria’s now unprotected cleavage, and with a sharp yelp, Alves instinctively relinquished her grip on Macy’s wrist and wrapped her arms around her pert bosom.
Renquist quickly snaked around behind her opponent, stepping over the judoka’s left leg with her own as she went to keep the thief rooted in place. Another lightning-quick slap to the ear knocked Maria over sideways, and though their intertwined legs kept her standing, that soon proved to be a curse rather than a blessing when Macy trapped her right bicep under an armpit to secure a tight Abdominal Stretch.
ABDOMINAL STRETCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey2U8tFbWgQ
“What’s the matter, huh?” Renquist asked as she cranked back and forced Maria to groan in pain. “Tough girl got a soft underbelly?”
If the Brazilian had a rejoinder, it was lost when Macy delivered a searing slap to her taut belly, drawing another high-pitched squeal of displeasure. Deciding that she quite liked the sound of the thief’s anguish, Renquist licked the palm of her right hand and promptly unleashed a full barrage over the next twenty seconds, relentlessly whacking those strained abdominal muscles like they were a set of bongos in a Caribbean jazz band.
Not liking the pallor on Maria’s face at the end of the drum solo, Al Carpenter stooped down and asked, “What do you say, Maria? Need me to call it?”
Alves didn’t answer immediately, biting her bottom to keep it from quivering and squeezing her eyes shut, but after a few moments she did manage to weakly shake her head back and forth a couple of times. That was enough to forestall the bell even if the referee didn’t look entirely convinced, and either way Renquist was more than happy to heap more punishment onto the woman who’d stolen her cherished title belt.
Deciding to give her favorite slappin’ hand a chance to cool down, Macy curled her fingers into talons and sank them deep into Maria’s belly, chewing and gnawing at the tenderized flesh. Harley Jo Collins she was not, however, and in leaving her hand stationary for a Belly Claw, Renquist allowed Alves to counter-attack by grabbing her middle and index fingers and bending them backwards towards her wrist.
“Nrrgghh…! You cheap brat!” Macy hissed. “Dirty thief always taking shortcuuAAAH!”
The pain in her digits distracted and unbalanced the Beach Blaster just enough for Alves to put her black belt judo skills to good use, throwing Renquist up and over with a textbook Hip Toss. Maria let herself fall and followed all the way down, and as soon as the pair made impact on the mat, she quickly snared the wrist on her opponent’s damaged left arm before Macy could react. Bending the captured limb behind the blonde’s skull while simultaneously applying a vise-like side headlock, Maria splayed her legs out and twisted her hips to put sickening torque on Macy’s arm and neck with an Anaconda Choke.
ANACONDA CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvxaksWt9pQ
One look at the Slappin’ Sensation’s bulging eyes and frantically thrashing legs told Al that his charge was in imminent danger of being choked out or having her arm dislocated, and the official was quick to offer Renquist a chance to call it a night. Macy still managed to gasp out something resembling a “NO” through her strangled gurgles, however, and to further demonstrate that she could still resist and defend herself, she planted her free hand on the judoka’s chin and started pushing with all her might.
Doing so did nothing to reduce the pressure on her neck and left arm, but it did force the Brazilian’s head closer and closer to her legs. After maybe fifteen seconds of struggle, Macy was finally able to curl up and hook a calf over Maria’s face from behind, allowing her to use her lower body strength to aid in prying the judoka off of herself. Following a brief stalemate, it seemed as though the champion had succeeded as Alves lost her grip on the Anaconda Choke and fell backwards, but any relief that Macy felt vanished when Maria immediately snared her right foot instead. In the blink of an eye, Maria managed to tuck the toes into her armpit while cupping the heel in the crook of her elbow to lock in the Heel Hook, then she grapevined Macy’s right thigh between her calves and turned hard to one side.
HEEL HOOK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUtAZf5i6s8
“NRRGGHHH GAAAAAWWWWWDAMMIT!” Renquist screeched, arching her back and pounding her fists into the deck as the sinews in her knee and ankle threatened to shear apart.
“NO SUBMISSION! NO SUBMISSION!” she added a beat later, lest the referee get the wrong idea.
Once the initial wave of anguish washed over her, Macy rocked back and forth to build momentum before suddenly rolling in the same direction as Maria to turn both of them onto their stomachs. Renquist nearly sobbed as the fire in her joints abated for the moment, but with the judoka still latched onto her leg, she still wasn’t out of danger yet. That point was emphatically driven home when Alves simply uncrossed her ankles and clambered upright with Macy’s foot still in her grasps. Although losing the Heel Hook meant losing the ability to ravage the Beach Blaster’s knee, her standing position now gave Maria the leverage to crank the Ankle Lock with twice as much force as before.
HEEL HOOK TO STANDING ANKLE LOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh911ANtamc
“Though you slap with the fury of a thousand abusive husbands, when it comes to grappling you are my female dog!” Maria shouted over the tortured screams of her opponent as she tried to unscrew Macy’s foot. “Crawl for the rubber-coated steel cables, Macy Renquist! Crawl like the female dog that you are!”
Renquist abhorred being told what to do, least of all by a conniving thief, but in her current predicament she didn’t have much say in the matter. Gnashing her teeth together and doing her best to ignore the throbbing agony in her left elbow and right ankle, Macy dragged herself towards the edge of the ring on her forearms. It took what felt like hours to her, but after a Herculean effort, Renquist had crawled to within arm’s-length of her lifeline.
“Yes…! YES…!” Macy gasped as the fingertips of her quivering, outstretched hand brushed against the ring ropes. “...NO! NOOOO!”
At the last possible moment, Maria threw herself in reverse, backpedaling and hauling her victim all the way back to the center of the ring to groans of despair from supporters of the Beach Blaster. Rather than continue to work the ankle, Alves used the captured leg as a lever to flip Macy onto her back. Still holding onto her opponent’s right foot, Maria stepped around in a circle to twist that limb around her own left shin. It looked like the beginnings of a Figure Four Leglock, but Alves tucked the blonde’s right foot into the crook of her left knee rather than over the top of the joint. She folded Renquist’s left calf Indian style, then secured the cross-legged knot in place by hooking her left foot in the space between Macy’s shins.
INDIAN DEATHLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK_am60-6vY
Kneeling in front of her howling victim, Maria planted a palm on each of Macy’s knees and pushed down and out to increase the pressure of her Indian Deathlock. When a dozen seconds of that torture resulted in much bawling and hair-pulling but no submission, Alves leaned forward to put more of her weight into the hold, and that’s when the Beach Blaster struck back.
Drawing upon a strength born of mad desperation, Renquist crunched forward and threw everything she had left into a Hail Mary slap. With her hands down at her sides, Maria never had a chance to block and she took the wild, looping blow square on the jaw, sending her spiraling to the canvas and freeing Macy from her Indian Deathlock.
Curiously, the judoka staggered back up to her feet almost immediately, although the glazed, vacant look in her eyes and her drunken, stumbling steps indicated that no one was home. She shuffled all the way to the edge of the ring before the autopilot shut off and she collapsed into the ropes, kept upright only by one arm haphazardly draped over the topmost strand.
Back in the center of the ring, Macy gingerly crawled to her hands and knees, grimacing as she put weight on her left arm and right leg. The surge of adrenaline that came from seeing her opponent on the ropes soon dulled the hurt, however, and Renquist forced her way up to verticality with a savage snarl. Rushing forward with a speed which belied how much damage she had just taken to her legs, Macy extended her good arm and delivered a ferocious Clothesline that sent the unwitting judoka clear over the top rope and out of the ring.
“Who’s the bitch now, BITCH?!” Renquist furiously spat at her opponent who was now splayed out on the thinly padded cement floor.
No answer from Alves of course, she was too busy twitching in the aftermath of that unpleasant fall. Macy loved the view, indeed she wanted nothing more than to savor it for several seconds but the champion’s instinct demanded she clamber down there and get the flattened judoka back in the squared circle. Allowing herself a few deep breaths, Renquist pointed a commanding index finger at Carpenter and said, “I want the FULL count, understand? And if I hear you start to speed up, I’ll roll in and break it at nineteen.”
Al regarded her carefully. “I do. Don’t make me regret this, Macy.”
The Beach Blaster didn’t answer because she’d already dipped through the ropes and dropped to the floor beside Maria. “You’re the best f*cking judoka I’ve ever had the pleasure of slapping.” Macy admitted as she peeled Alves off the floor with a double handful of hair. “So I need you to understand that what I do next, I don’t do out of disrespect for your style.” Gritting her teeth as she reeled Maria into a Front Facelock with her achin’ left arm, Macy tossed the brunette’s near arm across her shoulders, then grabbed a huge handful of waistband and twisted so that the challenger’s butt was pointed toward the front row FAWNatics. “I’m doing it because you stole my f*cking title.”
On that threatening note, the blonde dipped down and hoisted Alves to about one o’clock before she stepped forward and dropped Alves’ gut-first across the barricade with a nauseating BWUNK! Maria shuddered from toes to nose and coughed up an awful rasping croak that sounded like a machine about to strip its gears. Renquist paid this no mind, she simply grabbed Alves by the scruff of the neck and pulled her up so that the Brazilian resembled more of an upside down ‘L’ rather than an upside down ‘U’.
Fingers twitching ever so slightly, Macy brought her right hand up, over and down in a windmilling slap that CRAAAAACKED against the challenger’s neck!
“AAAAAAAHHHH GAAAAAAHH!” The capacity crowd wailed alongside Maria, though their sympathetic anguish lacked the sharp, glassy quality of the brunette’s keening. Another couple slaps raised an ugly welt which meant Macy had an excellent target for the rest of the baker’s dozen she delivered to the back of Alves’ neck. Pausing only when the tingle in her palm grew to a legitimate burn, Renquist tuned out the crowd noise to hear Carpenter call ‘NINE!’
“Think I can land another dozen before I gotta get’cha back in the ring, Maria? I think I can.”
“Yuuuuuhhh…. you byt--”
Macy buried her other hand in Alves’ sweat-soaked hair and yanked her head up even as she dropped into a crouch, blonde and brunette abruptly nose to nose. “You what?” Renquist asked softly. “Go ahead, sweetie. Use grown up words, I won’t tell anyone.”
Maria met her gaze with shining, furious eyes, the wounded Lightweight struggling to form words after that gut-churning landing. “You… I don’t think I much care for you right now, Macy RenquisTNNNNNGGGGHHHH!” Macy straightened up, stepped back and lunged in with a Kneelift that THWHUNKED against her rival’s temple! That shotgun blast of a blow sent Alves slopping from the barricade to the floor, where she might’ve muttered away the rest of Carpenter’s count if Renquist hauled her up with a handful of trunks and tresses. Muscling the Brazilian onto the apron with a few seconds remaining, Macy shoved her burden under the bottom rope, then slid in after her and dove across Alves’ waist to keep her pinned down through…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Maria twitched a shoulder off the canvas at the last second, earning a roar of appreciation from the crowd in the process. Macy didn’t share their reaction, though she managed to maintain her composure following a single incredulous glare at the referee. “You slipped out of this like it was nothing earlier tonight.” Renquist murmured to the woozy judoka as she pulled her to a slumped seat. “I wonder, can you make the second attempt look just as effortless?”
“It’s not… not effortless, Macy Renquist.” Maria sulked even as the Floridian pinned her left arm overhead with a Half Nelson. “It’s an overabundance of skill and your own mediocrity that only make it look effortlesSSNOOOHHEERRRGGGGHHH!” The Slappin’ Sensation slipped her right arm around Alves’ throat, then twisted her onto her stomach and slid into a seat on the small of her back to trap Maria in a fusion of Katahajime and Camel Clutch.
“Do you submit, Maria? Tell me something!” Carpenter wasted no time checking on his charge as the angle of her back was downright hellacious.
Alves didn’t bother wasting oxygen on a spoken response, instead she waggled an index finger ‘no’ before she tried to worm that hand between her throat and the blonde’s strangling bicep.
Renquist felt the intrusion, wrenched the hold back and forth to make the challenger reconsider her efforts. “Submit.” she grunted. “I’m not a sociopath who threatens a chick’s career, but I will sure as shyt choke you out.”
Maria coughed something that sounded like a denial and kept trying to get her fingers under Macy’s right arm even as she shuffling and sliding her legs, something the Beach Blaster correctly identified as an effort to crawl to the ropes.
“Are you out of your mind?” Renquist raised her haunches by a several inches only to slam ‘em down on Alves’ lower back once, twice, three times. “You can’t defend yourself! Tap out or I could do some real damNGH! NGH! NGH!”
Maria flattened her right hand into a paddle and clapped it against the side of Macy’s face almost half a dozen times! Her technique was simultaneously strong and unrefined and while it didn’t break Renquist’s clutch it did loosen her up enough for the judoka to scramble more than three quarters of the way to freed--“HUUUUUUURRK!”
Macy shifted from a seat to a kneel, the blonde driving her right knee into the base of her opponent’s spine. Coming to the realization that Alves wouldn’t or couldn’t be convinced to surrender, Renquist resolved to choke her into unconsciousness or possibly snap her in ha-- Maria twisted her body out from under that gouging knee, the red-faced brunette wriggling through a quarter turn so she could hook her right ankle over the bottom roNOOOO! Alves actually reached her goal, alas Macy hauled her up and away before she could call for the break!
Shifting effortlessly from the Katahajime to a simple rip-cord grip (Macy’s left hand gripping Maria’s right wrist) once they were on their feet, Renquist pushed off as she stepped back, the force of it whipping Alves around in a drunken half circle to meet a scintillating Bytch Mak--
Maria dipped low and whipped around behind the startled blonde, catching a Waistlock as she did. Macy had just enough time to reach for Alves’ wrists before the Brazilian snapped off a gorgeous bridge that PLANTED Renquist on the back of her head and shoulders! Al swooped in to make the count but ultimately found himself with nothing to do because Maria somersaulted over the blonde and hauled her to verticality. Abandoning the Waistlock in favor of a pair of Wristlocks, Maria pulled Macy’s arms tight across her belly, then folded her in half with a Straightjacket German Suplex! Now the challenger did hold the bridge, Alves ignoring the ghastly pain in her abdomen in an effort to legitimize her claim on the Lightweight gold. Already close to the action, Carpenter led the FAWNatics in counting off…
STRAIGHTJACKET GERMAN SUPLEX @ 00:09
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWvY_X-Wjxk
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Macy twisted to the side with a whisper to spare, the Slappin’ Sensation ending up on her belly with both arms wrapped around her head while Maria was curled in a fetal ball around the roiling maelstrom that’d taken root in her midsection.
Last one standing amidst all this smoldering Lightweight wreckage, Al Carpenter gave blonde and brunette a full internal five count before starting the real thing. “ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…”
Slightly closer to the corner after the pair of suplexes, Maria barrel-rolled to the edge of the ring and used the intersecting ropes as a ladder to haul herself upright. She stood up just long enough to interrupt the double count out, then she sat her rear on the middle turnbuckle with forearms braced against her thighs, panting heavily and glistening with perspiration.
“Macy Renquist, you are as obstinate as a person who is well-known for his or her obstinance,” Alves huffed in between deep breaths. “Surely you have realized you cannot match my grappling. Those in this federation capable of such a feat are so few in number that they may be counted on my earlobes.”
Having ignored the judoka’s numerous oddities and foibles up until now, Carpenter’s curiosity finally got the better of him and he asked, “W-Why… why earlobes…?”
“Because only a half-witted dullard would count on his or her shins,” Maria answered as she shuffled past the official towards her opponent, and Al instantly regretted speaking up.
Without the benefit of the ropes to help her up, Macy was still down on one knee when Alves seized her left wrist and roughly yanked her up to her feet. The sudden jerk on her injured arm sent shivers through her body, and a wordless yelp of pain burst from her lips when that captured limb was brought down hard across the fulcrum of Maria’s shoulder to flip her over and down to the mat once more. Renquist’s ordeal wasn’t finished though, as her opponent continued to work over her arm by dragging her up and throwing her down again, and then again to complete a triplet of Seoi-nage judo tosses.
TRIPLE SEOI-NAGE (@0:46):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNzsuPuR5x4
Upon hearing the inhuman screech that tore out of Macy’s throat following the last toss, Carpenter quickly stepped in and separated the wrestlers when it looked as though Alves was about to go for a fourth, a fifth, and a sixth. Maria’s dark eyes flashed murder at the interloping referee, and Al felt as though he’d just stepped between a predator and its prey, but then the moment passed as quickly as it had come. Alves backed away without further complaint, and her expression returned to its usual inscrutable placidity in the blink of an eye.
“I have twenty-seven techniques to break an arm, Algernon Carpenter, and that was not one of them,” Maria informed the referee with all the casual disinterest of a substitute teacher on a Friday afternoon.
Carpenter wasn’t about to take Alves at her word, especially when she had proven to be less than trustworthy in the past. Tuning out the voice in his head telling him to stop the match, he crouched down to check on the beleaguered champion as she cradled her left arm to her stomach with her eyes and jaw squeezed tight to keep the tears and the screams from escaping.
“How’s the arm, Macy?” the referee asked. “Can you give me a thumbs up if you can still go, or do I have to call this one?”
Renquist clenched all the fingers on her left hand except the middle into a fist, then with a great effort, she tried to raise that single upturned digit up to Al’s eye level. She was only able to lift her arm a few inches before a vile bolt of pain shot through her elbow and shoulder, however, and she dropped the limb back into her lap with a sharp gasp.
“That’s no good,” Carpenter sighed with a shake of his head. “Macy, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you risk --”
“NO!” the blonde roared, her eyes snapping fully open as she grabbed the collar of the official’s striped shirt with her good hand. “NO, GODDAMN IT! NO! If you think I’m gonna let this clown waltz outta here with MY title belt for a SECOND time because of a FUCKING referee stoppage --”
The Slappin’ Sensation abruptly cut herself off, recognizing that her raving hysterics were quite the opposite of convincing. She sat up and took a moment to compose herself, and when she spoke again she made sure that her voice carried its usual jaunty confidence.
“No worries, Al,” she said while smoothing out the front of the man’s shirt. “Luck for me I got two arms and I only need one to slap the ever-lovin’ shit outta this punk-ass bitch!”
Before the referee could protest, Macy put a hand on his shoulder and pushed herself to her feet with a groan and a hiss, her body language making it clear that she would brook no further argument. With her left arm hanging slack at her side and a noticeable hitch in her gait, Renquist let loose a primal battlecry -- equal parts rage and frustration -- then lowered a shoulder and charged headlong into her opponent.
Maria braced for impact as best she could, though she couldn’t keep a soft cry of pain from escaping her lips when she took the brunt of the collision in her battered gut. Macy’s runaway momentum drove her all the way to the edge of the ring, but instead of calling for a break once her back was against the ropes, Alves latched onto her opponent’s left arm once more. The judoka deftly bent and twisted the captured limb behind Renquist’s back and threaded her own forearm into the crook of the elbow to act as a lever.
With her hooks for her signature Kimura Lock sunk in deep, Alves dug her toes into the canvas and pushed off to spin the pair of entwined wrestlers away from the ropes and towards the center of the squared circle. Before she could take her opponent down to ground and finish the submission, however, Macy’s right hand found its way into one of the legholes of her bottoms and pulled those conservatively-cut briefs upwards into the scantiest of thongs.
The eye-watering wedgie forced Alves up onto tip-toes, yipping and yelping in displeasure as all thoughts of her Kimura were forgotten. Another hateful jerk lifted her off the mat entirely, and for a couple of seconds Maria found herself slung over Macy’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Alves wasn’t there for long, however, as the Beach Blaster suddenly dropped to one knee while the other split the Brazilian’s thighs and smashed into her groin.
INVERTED ATOMIC DROP:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvTCG3QHglI
Caught unaware by the Inverted Atomic Drop counter to her submission, Maria’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as her tailbone bounced off Renquist’s posted right knee. She managed to shamble another few steps, pigeon-toed and with hands clasped between her thighs, then she collapsed to her knees and pitched forward onto her face as a raspy, agonized croak spilled from her throat.
A couple of feet away, Macy also laid on the mat grimacing while clutching at her right knee and ankle, those tenderized joints evidently not up to the task of having the brunette’s full weight violently dropped upon them after being worked over earlier in the match. Had she a choice, Renquist would have stayed down until the last second of the referee’s count, but at “SIX!” she spotted Maria stirring to life out of the corner of her eye.
Not wanting to give up initiative after she’d just gotten it back, Macy forced herself to stand and began limping towards the same corner to which Alves was now crawling. The Slappin’ Sensation was able to beat her foe to the spot, even with one leg dragging heavily, and with her shoulders pressed against the turnbuckles for support, she stepped backwards onto the intersecting middle ropes.
“That’s right, baby. That’s right,” Macy muttered to herself as she watched the unwitting judoka crawl closer and closer, all the while visualizing in her mind’s eye exactly how she would execute her Creature from the Blue Lagoon finishing maneuver.
Leaping from the second rope, she would come down with her thighs straddling either side of her opponent’s neck…
“Yeaaah… yeaaaahhhh… closer, baby, closer…” Renquist continued to mumble, her brow furrowing in concentration.
...while the bare soles of her feet would hit the canvas, and the plywood underneath would flex and rebound to add a boost to her perfectly-timed vertical jump...
“Closer… closer… closer…”
...at the peak of which she would wrap both arms around the judoka’s waist and flip forward, pulling Alves along for the ride as they both tumble through the air...
“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon…”
...before ultimately landing on her rump and piledriving the crown of the Brazilian’s skull into the deck.
“COME ON, BITCH! COME ON! COME OOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!” the Beach Blaster screamed at the top of her lungs to psyche herself up, then she leapt from her perch.
Macy’s aim and timing were perfect. Exactly as she had envisioned, the fork of her crotch came crashing down on the back of Maria’s neck just as the dazed judoka was starting to straighten up from a crouch.
Macy’s right ankle, however, was very much not perfect. The joint buckled upon landing, causing her foot to roll inwards and setting off an explosion of agony so intense that the edges of her vision flashed red.
“AARGGGHH SHIT!” Renquist howled as she hopped on her left leg, though she still managed to control her opponent’s neck between her thighs.
Perhaps realizing that her ailments wouldn’t allow her to continue much longer if she didn’t put away her challenger here and now, the Beach Blaster drew in a sharp intake of air, jumped off one foot, and went for her finisher anyway. With a bum ankle and minus the momentum from the bounce, however, Renquist couldn’t put enough power into the front flip to rip Alves off the mat. Her efforts stalled out halfway, leaving her in the precarious position of clinging to Maria’s waist from behind while hanging upside down.
Alves staggered momentarily before regaining her footing, then to groans of dismay from supporters of the Slappin’ Sensation, she hooked her arms over the pits of Macy’s knees and dropped to her haunches, delivering a wicked counter in the form of a Belly to Back Piledriver that drove Renquist headfirst into the deck.
BELLY TO BACK PILEDRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNnpGf5nTmE
The impact drew a gasp from the FAWNatics and left Maria in perfect position for a Schoolgirl Pin, but rather than stay in place to try for a three count she promptly pivoted in a semi-circle while wrapping her left leg around Macy’s neck, squeezing the blonde’s head between calf and glute. The blonde’s senses were still too scrambled to resist, and Alves easily collected both her left wrist and right ankle, tucking each under an armpit to trap the injured limbs in a CHIKARA Special.
CHIKARA SPECIAL:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFD3Dt32VLk
“NRRRRGGGHHH GGAAAAAWWWWDDD!” Macy howled back to life when the judoka simultaneously targeted her arm and ankle with a Wristlock and Toe Hold. “NO! NOOOOOOOOO!”
“I will not ask for your submission, Macy Renquist,” Maria grunted through clenched teeth as she poured on the pressure. “I will take it.”
“You… you evil b-bitch…” Renquist bawled, hot tears streaking from the corners of her eyes as more and more of her iron will melted away with every searing throb from her tortured joints. “I’ll n-n-never let you take mmmMMMPPHHH!”
Alves reared back in her seat, putting even more ungodly strain on the Beach Blaster’s arm and leg. As an unintended consequence, the judoka’s shift in position also rolled her haunches directly over Macy’s face, adding a suffocating Facesit to the blonde’s unenviable predicament. Stubborn pride compelled Renquist to resist the inevitable for another thirty seconds, far longer than anyone could have expected, but a sudden eruption of pain from a twist of her ankle and a jerk of her arm proved more than she could bear.
“Staaaaahhhhhp… I quuiiiiit… I qu-iii-iii-iii-it…” Macy softly sobbed into the judoka’s undercarriage, and when her muffled verbal submission went unacknowledged for another five seconds, Renquist extended her free arm and delivered the final three slaps of her title reign to the canvas.
Having burned through the very last fumes of her reserves, Macy let unconsciousness take her just as she heard the CLANG of the bell, thoughts of revenge already dancing through her mind as the merciful darkness closed in.
“YOUR WINNER… BY SUBMISSION… AND NEW LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION… MARIIIIAAAAA AAAAALLLLLLVVVEEESSSS!” the ring announcer proclaimed, marking the end of one dynasty and the beginning of what was potentially another to a smattering of applause amid a larger number of disappointed groans.
Al Carpenter moved quickly to pry the judoka away from her latest victim, and to his mild surprise, Maria voluntarily released her holds on Macy’s arm and leg. Head bowed and shoulders slumped in exhaustion, Alves remained in her seat atop the blonde’s face, though Al was relieved to see she showed no interest in the tawdry bump and grind that usually accompanied such a position. When Carpenter offered to help her up, she refused with a single upraised hand.
“Algernon Carpenter, fetch my royal accoutrements,” she huffed, and after a beat, the referee realized that she meant the Lightweight title belt and the rest of her gear.
The man did as bade, retrieving first her gi and black belt from the floor where she had doffed them, and then collecting the title strap along with her crown and scepter from the announcer’s table. Arms full of loot, Al rolled back into the ring and laid them at Maria’s side and watched cautiously as she slowly, deliberately put on each piece of regalia -- gi, then black belt, then crown -- before she finally stood with the Lightweight title over one shoulder and her scepter in the opposite hand.
Maria gave the still unconscious blonde a stiff, formal bow, then she turned towards the crowd and thrust her bejeweled staff high into the air.
“The usurper has been repelled, and the rightful king prevails! Huzzah!” she belted out to the crowd, and for the first time there were a scattered handful of Huzzahs! in response, then she thumped the bottom of her scepter into the deck and shouted, “Eunuchs! ASSEMBLE!”
On command, Maria’s quartet of warriors came jogging down the entrance ramp, each still carrying her shield and spear. They slid into the ring and stood around their Alves in a square, dutifully awaiting her next orders. The newly minted Lightweight champion merely pointed her scepter at the splayed out form of Macy Renquist, and they immediately moved to surround the waylaid blonde.
“Uhhh ladies…” Al Carpenter nervously murmured as he protectively knelt down next to Macy. “...I don’t know what’s going on here but --”
“MACY RENQUIST!” Alves bellowed in her most regal sounding voice. “FOR THE HIGH CRIMES OF OBSTRUCTING THE PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER AND INSURRECTION AGAINST THE THRONE, YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO DEATH --”
“WHAAAAAAAAT,” the FAWNatics immediately roared back, baffled as always by the judoka’s eccentricities.
“-- BY NATURAL CAUSES!” Maria finished.
“WHAAAAAAAAT,” the audience shouted once more, somehow even more confused than they were a moment ago as the champion’s kingsguard returned to her side without a word.
“Eunuchs! Though the day is ours, I foresee many wars in the weeks to come!” Alves declared. “We cannot linger and bask in the glory of triumph, for we must begin preparations on our home planet!”
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Acting as one, all four of the Brazilian’s guards raised their spears and thumped the ends of the shafts into the deck. Doing so triggered some sort of internal mechanism that released a burst of white smoke from the spearheads that quickly dispersed to envelop and obscure the entire ring and everyone inside it.
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Coughing and sputtering, Al waved his arms around in a futile effort to fan away the fog which was now so thick and opaque that he couldn’t see his own shoelaces. He blindly stumbled around until his groping hands found a set of corner turnbuckles, and he leaned against them for support while he lifted the collar of his shirt to cover his nose and mouth in an impromptu mask. Carpenter stayed there for another minute or so until the mist finally thinned out to reveal…
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
...Maria and her cadre standing exactly where they had been before, seemingly having not moved a muscle.
“Wh-what the -- ?!” the veteran referee stammered, every bit as bewildered as the fans in attendance. “You’re still here?! Why?!”
Alves only responded with a wordless, quizzical glance.
“The theatrics…! And that speech…! You can’t just do something that absurdly elaborate and not pay it off!” Al protested. “Why in the WORLD would you just stand there after setting up a stealthy, mysterious exit with the smoke and the talk of going back to your home planet?!”
Maria glared at the man like he was an imbecile, then after a long, awkward pause she flatly answered, “My home planet is Earth and I am already here.”
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
Suddenly feeling like he was trapped in the Twilight Zone, Carpenter could only think to ask, “And the smoke?! What was the point of the smoke? Did it even DO anything?!”
“It slightly increased our lifetime risk of mesothelioma,” Alves replied with a casual shrug of her shoulders.
“WHAAAAAAAAT.”
After another ten seconds of the gobsmacked referee staring blankly at her, Maria broke the silence and said, “You are a strange and silly person, Algernon Carpenter, and I find you quite off-putting. Good day, sir or madam, I say, good day!”
With that, she turned on her heels and finally made her exit, her kingsguard silently following behind. The FAWNatics serenaded them with chants of “WHAAAAAAAAT” as they marched their way back up the entrance ramp. It wasn’t until Maria and her crew had disappeared through the curtains that Al felt his sanity restored, and then he remembered he still had to tend to one of his charges.
As Macy started to rouse back to consciousness, the referee knelt down to ensure that she hadn’t suffered any damage worse than a sprain or two. The moment he got to one knee and instinctively braced a hand against his own thigh for support, however, he realized something was terribly wrong.
“Goddamn it, she took my wallet…” Al groaned in despair.