With the last pay-per-view event in the books, FAWN closes the year with its annual fan convention. Superstars past and present are in attendance for meet-n-greets and autograph signings, and in one hall of the massive convention center, a handful of the federation’s most enterprising wrestlers promote their sponsored products to their adoring fans.
YOONA PARK“Don’t be fooled by the name, the
ANAL-HILATOR 5000 feels just as good in your coochie as it does in your poop-chute,” Yoona Park says to the crowd assembled at her stage as she holds up an intimidatingly large marital aid in the same black and gold color scheme as the ring gear she’s wearing. “It has 30% more pleasure ridges than last year’s
ANAL-HILATOR 4000, and comes with a built-in high-fidelity Bluetooth speaker! Shove this bad boy into your wet ass pussy, turn up the bass, and let those sicks beats tickle your G-spot!”
A busty redhead in the front row raises her arm and asks, “Is the
ANAL-HILATOR 5000 backwards compatible with the strap-on harness for previous years’ models?”
“Of course!” Yoona says with all the slick, effortless charm of a snake oil salesman. “All
ANAL-HILATOR products come with the patented Universal Connector that lets you hook up to any harness from
Thrust Master,
Pelvic Punisher,
GrindPro,
Kirkland Signature, and more! As an added bonus, you can attach any
ANAL-HILATOR product to any other
ANAL-HILATOR product to form the ultimate double-ended dildo! Trust me, there’s nothing --”
Park abruptly cuts herself off and crinkles her nose as an acrid, musky scent fills her nostrils.
“What the
shit…?” she mutters to herself, her eyes scanning the crowd before she locks in on the culprit at the stage across from hers.
“You motherfucker…” Yoona growls as she stomps off towards her target.
ESTRINA STARFIRE“Are the girls at your gym throwing shade and calling you a Sweaty Betty? Can’t get a date because you’re a Clammy Sammy?” Estrina Starfire rhetorically asks the group at her presentation as she holds up a can of spray-on antiperspirant. “Then what you need is --”
“YOU AND YOUR SHIT-SPRAY SMELL LIKE BIGFOOT’S DICK!” Park interrupts, drawing a few surprised gasps as she elbows her way towards the crowd and onto Starfire’s stage. “GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, STINKFIRE!”
Estrina grinds her molars together and clenches her fists, though she still keeps a smile plastered onto her face for the sake of her fans. An athletic apparel and lifestyle corporation from her native Singapore was paying her good money to promote its newest line of products, and she doesn’t want the foul-mouthed interloper to ruin her endorsement.
“Yoona, what a pleasant surprise,” Starfire forces out through gritted teeth. “And how might you know what Bigfoot’s --”
“Because you touch yourself at night, assclown!” Yoona snaps back as she steps onto the stage so she’s chest-to-chest with the smaller woman. “Now fuck off before I beat the brain-juice outta your thick skull for a second time!”
Estrina drops the fake smile, her expression turning cold and hard as she scoffs, “As if you could. We all saw you get wrecked by Dayna Erza last month. Guess that’s why you were only taking beach and penthouse matches all year, because as soon as you got back in the ring -- OWW!”
For once, Yoona skips the words and lets her actions do the talking, and she cracks a wicked backhand slap across Estrina’s face that sends the former Lightweight Champion stumbling. Starfire recovers just in time to see the follow-up Snap Kick, and she catches Park’s foot in both hands a heartbeat before it makes contact with her groin. The Singaporean star steps forward and trips her fellow Asian to the deck, then she quickly lays across the Korean’s chest while trapping Yoona’s head and neck in a Side Headlock.
“I’ve been waiting to get payback for a long time, Yoona,” Starfire grunts as the other wrestler pushes against her jaw with one hand while hammering her in the ribs with the other. “Woulda preferred the arena, but kicking your ass here is just as good!”
“Still living rent-free in your head, Cuntfire!” Park snarls, switching from pushing against Estrina’s face to pulling on her ponytail. “I’mma fuck you so hard that what I did last time’s gonna feel like foreplay!”
“You cheap slut!” Estrina hisses. “You wouldn’t have a chance without your dirty tricks!”
“Keep making excuses,” Yoona shoots back. “Your attitude’s as salty as your va-jay-jay!”
The two former champions seem as if they would be locked in stalemate for some time, but soon a cadre of security personnel rush the scene and pry them apart. A pair of men drag Estrina in one direction while a second pair drag Yoona in the other as both wrestlers continue jawing back and forth. As Park is passing by one of the displays, however, she suddenly grabs one of the cans of antiperspirant and sprays it into her captors’ faces.
“AHHHHHH! IT BURNS!
BUURRRRRRRNNNS!'' one security guard screams, dropping to the ground and clawing at his eyes.
“IT SMELLS LIKE BIGFOOT’S DICK!” cries the second, coughing and gagging as he runs for the restrooms.
Freed from their clutches, Yoona springs forward and smashes a Flying Knee into the defenseless Estrina’s jaw, knocking her out of the grasp of the two remaining guards before any of them can react. A lightning quick eye-poke and a savage punch to the throat dispatches the last members of the security team, and then Park sets her sights on a dazed and punch-drunk Starfire.
“C’mon, salt-bitch,” Yoona huffs as she lifts Estrina onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry before heading towards her own booth. “I got a present for ya…”
An even larger crowd had gathered to watch the hullabaloo, and they part like the Red Sea as Park makes her way across the hall with her victim across her shoulders. Once she’s at her stage, Yoona unceremoniously dumps Estrina like a bag of potatoes and fetches one of the many
ANAL-HILATOR 5000’s she had been hawking.
“This is going into each and every one of your holes, Estrina,” Yoona says, brandishing the oversized sex toy and looming over the Singaporean. “EVERY. SINGLE. Hhhhhhnnnggghhh…!”
Perhaps spurred into action by the threat of sodomy, Estrina gets to hands and knees before splitting Yoona’s thighs with a desperate uppercut. Park collapses after getting a taste of her own bitter medicine, and Starfire is upon her in a flash. Estrina grabs the
ANAL-HILATOR 5000 in one hand like a billy club, then she sits on Yoona’s chest and starts wildly beating the Korean about the head with the dildo.
Park manages to get up a guard, however, absorbing the worst of the blows with the gauntlets on her forearms and riding out the storm while the pain in her groin slowly ebbs. After a minute or so, Estrina begins to tire from her frenzied attack, and that’s when Yoona strikes. Sensing a lull in the rain of blows, Park suddenly shoots out her hands, each one stabbing Starfire in an armpit.
“ARRGGHHH
NOOOOOO!” Estrina wails when Yoona clenches down on a pair of debilitating Pit Claws, both arms going limp as noodles while she spasmodically arches her back as if being electrocuted.
Starfire is so distracted by the searing pain from the nerve clusters in her underarms that she doesn’t notice Park’s legs slithering through her own to lock in a grapevine from below. With her shins threaded through Estrina’s knees and the insteps of her feet braced against the Singaporean’s ankles, Yoona raises up her legs to lift the smaller wrestler into a torturous Reverse Romero Hold.
“NO!
NOOOO! PUT ME
DOOOOWWWN!” Starfire screeches as intense pressure on her back and legs is added to the agony in her vulnerable armpits.
“Tch! Not even worth the effort to submit jobber-trash like you!” Yoona scoffs, tossing Estrina aside after just a few seconds.
Estrina knows better than to expect a reprieve from the Slim Reaper, however, and her fears are proven correct when Yoona’s arms loop around her midsection and wrench her into the air. Showing surprising strength from her slender frame, Park keeps her victim hoisted high into the air in the Crucifix Powerbomb position, each hand under one of Starfire’s arms and fingernails once again digging deep into the flesh of those sensitive armpits. A raspy croak escapes from Estrina’s mouth, now in too much pain to even scream as her entire bodyweight is driving Yoona’s fingers into the pressure points underneath her arms.
The ex-EurAsian champion parades a lap around the stage to showboat, then she steps to the edge of the raised platform. Below her is a folding table stacked with boxes and boxes of
ANAL-HILATOR 5000’s. Yoona pauses a moment so that the crowd can get their phones out and record the moment for posterity, then she heaves Estrina forward to send the Singaporean star crashing through the table with a crushing Crucifix Powerbomb.
CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB:www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K_MbfxV7YIPark hops down from the platform, and seeing her rival laid out in a debris field of dildos and splinters, she cackles loudly in triumph as she plants a foot on the unconscious Starfire’s chest and poses for the fans. Next to Estrina’s stage at the other end of the hall, away from fracas, a man pulls out his phone and makes a call.
“I need a meeting with the FAWN commissioner. I just got a
great idea to promote our antiperspirant.”