Post by hawkeye on May 11, 2020 1:11:39 GMT
Silent for the last minute or so, the speakers marked a return to carnage by pumping out Charli XCX’s ‘Famous‘, much to the derision of the Orlando faithful. “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit!” the Announcer declared. “Introducing first, hailing from Buffalo, New York, she stands five feet three inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and twenty-one pounds. She is the Smartest Girl in the Room, ROOOSSSEEE EVVVAAANNNSSS!”
ROSE EVANS:
A cascade of boors began to rain down before the redhead’s name was even out of his mouth. A few moments later Rose brushed the curtain aside and stalked into view. Drawing to a halt in the face of those cacophonous jeers, Evans crinkled her nose in disgust and shook her head ‘no’, looking for all the world like a woman confronted by foulest thing she could imagine (a capacity crowd in Orlando, in Rose’s case). Steeling her nerves for that interminable walk through the sub-humanoids, the Smartest Girl in the Room mouthed, ‘Idiots’ to ensure the proper tone as she started down the ramp.
For her match tonight Evans wore the classic Barely Legal attire, black bustier with a matching black and red plaid miniskirt, the latter showing peek-a-boo glimpses of black lace panties as Rose made her way to ringside. The look was completed with thigh high black nylons and simple white wrestling boots adorned with ‘RE’ in stylized blood-red script. Quick to make her way up the steel steps at the nearest corner, Evans strode out to the center of the apron where she slipped a leg through and sloooooowly-nope. The Evil Genius entered the ring with none of her previous theatrics, save for a mocking ‘no, no, no’ waggle of one finger. “As if you monosyllabic idiots are worthy of such a privilege.” she sneered. “You should be on your knees THANKING me for bringing this level of intellectual stimulation to your miserable little humdrum lives!”
The Spring Breakers responded with their loudest boos yet, their churlish obstinance forcing her to retreat to the far corner where she could go through a few last minute stretches (both physical and mental) while waiting for Merle the referee to fumble his way through his final inspection. And her opponent, of course. Not that anyone waiting on the other side of the curtain would prove a match for the Smartest Girl in the Room.
Merle was heading across the ring to check his charges boots when the house lights flipped to full strobe and the speakers let loose with an odd electronic warble that quickly transformed into the jaunty opening of ‘I Don’t Know How But They Found Me’s Choke.
CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvJjmWTg7Qo
Stop, drop
And drag me into place
And lock the fire escapes
I'll break your pretty face
Yeah, Yeah
Oh, you clever little things
The sycophantic teens
What a precious basket case
Yeah, Yeah
Cannons on either side of the stage exploded in time with the second set of Yeah’s, not in a cloud of pyro but a billowing swirl of rainbow glitter! From the depths of this kaleidoscopic cyclone a figure emerged to stand before the Spring Breakers. Lips curled into a faint smile as she absorbed the festive atmosphere, Violyt Goodheart looked around and, “Reminds me of Spring Break in Fond du lac back in ‘73. So. Much. BLOOD!” Turning her attention to ring and the bipedal I.Q. Test awaiting within, the Glittering Enigma started down the ramp with a skip in her step and a twinkle in her cold green eyes.
VIOLYT GOODHEART:
Regaining his composure after Goodheart’s abrupt arrival, the Announcer raised his mic. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Peaksville Ohio, she stands at five feet five inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and twenty-five pounds. She is inscrutable, indecipherable and downright impossible! This is VIOLYT GOODHEART!”
Even now, almost four months into her FAWN tenure, the crowd wasn’t quite sure how to react to mercurial newcomer. Some nights she’d skip out to the ring and demolish Andromeda for the joy of one and all. Some nights she’d try to put Winter Fyre’s head through the seat of a chair to less agreeable reactions. Be they raucous cheers or vitriolic jeers, the fans didn’t bother Violyt at all, indeed she seemed over the moon as she zigged and zagged across the aisle to exchange high fives or stop for pictures with anyone who asked. And indeed she looked every bit the portrait of a warrior in the service of sweetness and light.
For her first Spring Break in Orlando the willowy strong blonde bendy-back wore bubble-gum pink trunks with a V-shaped white trim 'belt' and much thinner white trim around the leg holes. Above this was a matching halter-style top with white trim along the neckline and edges. Her pads at knee and elbow were a matching pink, boots were gleaming white while her wrist tape was rainbow patterned. Atop all this she wore a classic white nylon windbreaker with pink trim at the collar and cuffs. It was the back of this windbreaker that offered concrete evidence that all was not as it seemed when it came to the Princess of Peaksville. Sure, the Lisa Frank style portrait of a unicorn flying over a rainbow was perfectly on brand, however the message below advised the reader to ’Eat Sh!t and Die!’ in a disconcertingly cartoonish script.
Oblivious to (or perhaps delighted by) any confusion caused by her attire, Goodheart pulled away from the FAWNatics and broke into a sprint that ended with her diving beneath the bottom rope. Pushing onto her knees about the time she reached mid-ring, Violyt offered the hard camera a knowing wink before she fluffed her hair to divest it of excess glitter. From there she popped to verticality and whipped off the windbreaker only to sling it over Merle’s shoulder as he was walking up to check her pads and boots. “Don’t lose that!” she said of her jacket. “It’s cursed!” “Oh jeeze. Umh, what would happen if I lost it?” Merle asked quite earnestly. “I don’t know. I’ve never lost it.” Violyt replied. “But the fortune teller promised it would weevils. Lots and lots of weevils.” “Weevils?” “Yeah. Weevils. From every orifice.” Goodheart looked rather grim for a second, then broke into a winning smile. “So don’t lose my jacket, ‘kay?”
With that she turned around and headed to the far corner, leaving the referee to follow only AFTER he’d handed over the jacket to a FAWN tech… and told him about the weevil thing.
“Check her again, idiot!” Rose shouted once Merle finished his inspection of Goodheart’s elbow and knee-pads. “Her boots too! That maniac has been known to carry a salad fork!”
“It’s a CAKE fork,” Violyt murmured before adding, “is what I would say if there were any validity to that slanderous rumor.”
The ref arched an eyebrow and said, “Do I need to check you again, Vi?”
“Buy me dinner first, Merleton.” Goodheart replied without missing a beat.
“Ummmhhh, that’s not actually my name.”
“Then I guess you don’t really have to check me again, do you?”
Her logic escaped him, but Merle was satisfied the blonde didn’t have an arsenal secreted away, so he stepped clear and threw a signal to the Timekeeper who rang the match live immediately thereafter. “Oh goody, recess!” Violyt clapped her hands and headed to the middle of the ring to meet Rose, who was also on her way, albeit at a far more measured pace. “C’mon Rosie, get a move on!” Goodheart tapped an invisible watch with two fingers. “Recess is only twenty minutes and then it’s right back to boring old theoretical mathem--”
Evans lashed out with a viper-quick Bytch Slap, the redhead turning Goodheart’s head sideways with a CRAAACK that earned a loud ‘Ooooooohhhhhh!’ from the Spring Breakers. “Don’t think your giggling savant nonsense is going to fool me for a second, Goodberry, or whatever your name is this week! I know a duplicitous sack of shyt when I see one and you’re the biggest I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter!”
Violyt put a hand to her stinging cheek, the blonde’s eyes narrowed in an expression of surprise and obvious disappointment. “Sheesh Rosie, I thought you were the Smartest Girl in the Room, not the meanest. But I guess you’re not THAT smart, if you believe the same nonsense as every--” Rose swung a second Bytch Slap at her face but Goodheart dipped low, spun ‘round behind and swatted a ‘missed me!’ sorta shove between her opponent’s shoulders.
Evans sneered, caught her balance and whirled to face her adversary. “That all you got, psycho?” she snapped.
“All I’ll need for a forgettable intellect like yours, Rosie!”
Violyt giggled. The smirk on Evans’ face disintegrated in a poisonous frown. “What’d you say, freak?”
“I said I can’t believe it took Gabby so long to dump your silly ass! All that Dubble Bubble must’ve f*cked up her nose otherwise she’d have smelled the stink of failure on you right--”
Rose lashed out with a slap even harder than the first, only problem was Goodheart intercepted it by catching a death-grip on her wrist with the blow mere inches from her cheek!
“No one slaps me twice and lives, brainy.” Violyt kissed the redhead’s fingertips in exaggerated fashion, then doubled down on the Wristlock and stretched Rose’s arm full length just to twist it in a smooth circle and follow up with a Kneelift to the belly! Drawing the captured limb snug across her own chest, Goodheart kicked Evans’ left leg out from under her and laid out on her back to drive the other wrestler’s left shoulder into the thinly-sheathed plywood! Rose hissed in pain, started to pull away, only to curse in disgust when Violyt didn’t relinquish her grip. “Let go of me you stupid rrrrggggghhhh!”
The Princess of Peaksville folded that arm into a Hammerlock that wedged Rose’s hand up between her shoulders. “You’ll wanna be real careful using the S-word around me, Rosie.” Goodheart noted with only the faintest trace of humor. “That’s the kind of thing I might take persona--”
“I said SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTHHEERRRRRRHHHH!”
Violyt leaned over the prone arm, planted her forehead against the deck and somersaulted over into a high bridge to put that much more pressure on her foe’s shoulder and elbow. Rose snarled in pain, but immediately shook her head ‘no’ when Merle inquired about surrender.
FALLING HAMMERLOCK ARMBREAKER & BRIDGING HAMMERLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq9onRhARXI
“That all you got?” she snapped at the blonde instead. “You’re supposed to be some wandering lunatic with a whole catalogue of horrors to your name and the nastiest thing you can think of is a f*cking Hammerlock? How pedestrian. How jejune. How OOOWWWWW BYTCH!”
Violet freed her left hand from the Hammerlock, curled it into a claw and reached across Evans’ belly (she’d made it to her knees in an effort to alleviate the torque of the hold) and raaaaaaaaaaked the redhead’s belly half a dozen times before gouging her index finger deep into Rose’s navel! “Got some math for that big brain of yours, Rosie.” Violyt’s smile grew wider as Evans’ shrieks grew sharper. “One dislocated elbow plus one torn rotator cuff equals how many months on the shOOFFFFHH!”
Rose maneuvered in such a way that she was able to reach across with her right hand and SLAP Goodheart’s midriff hard enough to break the Hammerlock and the bridge in a single stroke. Barrel rolling away the instant she was clear, Rose popped up on one knee several feet away and massaged her shoulder while staring a hole through Violyt, who’d also made it to her knees to examine the palm-shaped welt on her tummy.
“Pink belly? You gave me a pink belly?” Goodheart asked in the tone of someone genuinely aggrieved by the situation. “Who do you think you are, Macy Renquist?”
The Smartest Girl in the Room snorted derisively as she got to her feet. “That feather-fisted fraud isn’t fit to carry my luggage.”
“Sure about that? She carries the Lightweight title pretty well. So did Gabby, now that I think about it. Weird isn’t it, how idiots somehow keep winning gold and you haven’t manag--”
“These pathetic mind games won’t work on me.” Rose interrupted. “Save it for an intellect that doesn’t already see right through--”
“Maybe I’ll just scratch out your eyes instead.” Violyt chirped.
That was more than enough for Rose, who popped to verticality and made straight for the penitent blonde. A Toe Kick aimed at Goodheart’s gut came maddeningly close to striking true before the Sparkly Sadist caught her ankle in both hands. “Poor Rosie.” the blonde sighed as she stood up while forcing Evans to hop in place. “Ya got an A+ brain and C- conditioning, no wonder Mendoza ditched NNNNGGGHHHHH!”
Evans sprang off her plant foot and swept it up and across to THWHACK Violyt upside the head! The Enzugiri struck true and Goodheart spun in a half circle, the oddball newcomer looking understandably woozy as she staggered away from--
“AAAAAAAHHHHH! Mean! Mean! MEAN!” Violyt hissed in pained dismay as Rose raked her from the shoulders on down with a vicious double handful of crooked talons!
“Bytch, you don’t KNOW mean, yet.” Evans grabbed Goodheart by the shoulder, spun her in a half circle and fired off another Toe Kick. No missing now, the tip of Rose’s boot dug deep and she wasted no time collecting the freak’s head in a Front Facelock. Tossing Violyt’s near arm across her shoulders, she caught hold of some sparkly pink trunks and boosted the blonde to three o’clock before she twisted under and laid out, thus THWHAMMING Goodheart down on the back of her head and shoulders with a picture perfect Rose-Plex.
ROSE BLOOM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ene9vM92YWc
Of no mind to toy with this idiot any longer than absolutely necessary, Evans floated over into a cover, hooked the far leg and pulled it tight while making a point to draaaaaaaaag the bony ridge of her forearm back n’ forth along Violyt’s cheek. Meanwhile, Merle and the FAWNatics tolled off…
ONE…
TWO…
The Glittering Enigma kicked out simultaneous with ‘TWO!’ much to the disdain of Evans, who promptly berated the official for less than optimal counting skills. An attempt by Violyt to regain her footing redirected the redhead’s attention and in the blink of an eye she’d mounted Goodheart’s back, all the better to pull the other woman’s arms backward across the sturdy planks of her thighs.
“Did I say you could stand in my presence, cretin?” Rose mussed Violyt’s hair with both hands to make sure there was no trouble identifying the cretin in question. “Hey, I asked you a question!” Evans snapped when the blonde offered no response. “Answer me!” The Smartest Girl in the Room slapped the back of Goodheart’s head for the simple joy of doing so.
Violyt eased her struggles, though the careful observer noted she was still making near constant micro-adjustments in the hopes of getting at least one arm clear of the redhead’s legs. “Well…” she said in a surprisingly conversational tone, “you didn’t tell me I COULDN’T, so I figured I’d just show some initiative and do it myself! Oh, and Rose? Slap me one more time and I’ll shred that bratty little face of EEERRRHHHHHHHH!”
In no mood for threats from the sparkly idiot, Evans pressed her palms to the sides of Violyt’s face and deftly slipped two fingers into each corner of the blonde’s mouth! Gouging those hooks deep against the soft insides of her opponent’s cheeks, Rose cranked back on the almost Chinlock and bobbled her head in a way that was both violent and patronizing. “What was that? Were you threatening me?” Evans jounced the blonde’s head again, added a third finger to each fishhook and pulled back until Goodheart was looking at the lights and burbling in anguish. “You don’t possess the motor skills or the cranial capacity to properly threaten me, you disgusting little worm! Now admit your error and beg for mercy before I--”
“Get your fingers out of her mouth, Rose! You know better than that!” Merle chided when it became clear the redhead needed some prompting.
“You’re absolutely right, I do know better. Which is why I refuse to acknowledge this baseless demand until I hear a proper count!”
The ref stifled a sigh, raised one hand and counted, “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!” Rose relinquished the Fishhooks only to secure a half-Chinlock so she could wipe her glistening fingers dry on the protesting blonde’s cheeks. A traditional Camel Clutch followed, but now that it was secured Evans’ attention was for Merle and Merle alone.
“That was a disgracefully fast count, is this the sort of standard that Castle’s accepting these days?”
“The count was fine, Rose. Violyt, do you need me to call for--”
“Don’t talk to HER, she has nothing to say to you!” The redhead lent credence to this statement by cupping a hand over Goodheart’s mouth and pinching her nostrils between thumb and forefinger. Smirking ever so slightly as she felt Violyt’s protestations against her smothering palm, Rose resumed, “As I was saying, it’s clear to me that either Castle is slacking or you’re a very slow learner. To that end, I believe we need a second count.” She released the HOM Smother, pressed the palm of that hand to Violyt’s forehead and crooked her index and middle fingers into tiny hooks she tapped against the tip of Goodheart’s nose. “Pay careful attention, idiot. I’m going to count very…sloooooooowly and I want you to follow along. And enunciate clearly, it’s important!”
Well aware of what the other woman had planned, Violyt’s tone was cheery though her message was anything but. “Looks like you’re thinking bad thoughts, Rosie. You don’t wanna find out what happens to people who lose their happy thEEERRRGGGGHHHHHH!”
Rose hooked her fingers into Goodheart’s nostrils and pulled like she meant to stretch them out by six inches or more. “Welcome to Remedial Counting, Merle.” Evans said to the ref in a cloyingly sweet tone. “Join in with me now! ONE………. TWO…..--”
“ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Evans released with obvious disdain, the Smartest Girl in the room pushing up from her seat only to drop into a deep squat Butt Bomb that left Violyt facedown and massaging the small of her back. Almost absently, Rose planted a foot atop the strained muscles and shifted so that she was bearing down on Goodheart with every bit of her weight! Sounding remarkably composed for someone who was trying to skewer her opposition like a bug on a card, Evans locked eyes with Merle and explained, “Your insolence has been noted and filed away for future review.”
Hopping off without further comment, Rose bent down, flattened one hand into a paddle and swatted Violyt’s glutes at least half a dozen times. “Ooooooohhhh, aren’t you the CUTEST little monster!” she sent that hand north and filled it with the blonde’s hair. “You’re about as dangerous as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and all the other made up things that go bump in the night!”
“Thhhhuuu… that’s Mister Sasquatch to you, honey.” Goodheart huffed as the redhead hauled her to verticality. “You’re gonna want to put some respeck on his NNNGGGHHH!”
Evans slammed a dagger-point elbow between her opponent’s shoulders, then dipped low and stuffed her head under Violyt’s left arm while cinching a Waistlock around her midsection. Soon as that was done she got low and popped her hips, Rose taking the bizarre newcomer up, over and DOWN onto the back of her head with a snappy Seito Suplex. Bridging up on tiptoe while the ring was still shaking, Evans held Violyt glued in place for the…
SHE LOVES ME NOT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGI7jq3Dc2M
ONE…
TWO…
Violyt twisted free and landed on her stomach, though the escape must’ve cost her dear because both hands were at her aching lower back almost immediately. “That was a passable imitation of a middling count.” Rose sniped at Merle in the midst of adjusting her trunks. “Perhaps you’ll be a C-Student one day after all.”
“Least he’s got friends.” Violyt giggled from somewhere on all fours.
“What’d you say to me, freak?” Evans hissed.
“I said Merle’s got friends that like him and want to hang out.” The Princess of Peaksville reared back on her knees and grinned up at Rose, making no effort to regain her feet. “Who talks to you these days, Rosie? And by the way, that old picture of Gabby you’ve got taped to the back of your locker doesn’t coNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Evans snatched a double handful of hair and pasted her face with a Hip Check hard enough to bloody the blonde’s lower lip. Ignoring the nattering from Merle, Rose hauled Goodheart to verticality and quickly spun her around in a half circle. Another Waistlock followed, Rose digging away at Violyt’s midriff with her knotted fists while she murmured into her ear. “I think it’s about time you learned to put some respect on MY name, bytch.”
Eager to bring some illumination to this chronically dim bulb, Evans got low and popped her hips for a Release German Suplex that turned the pink-clad pugilist inside-NO! Goodheart somersaulted through landed on one knee and slammed both fists into the canvas. The resultant THUMP was a damned solid approximation of a body hitting the mat. It must’ve been, because Rose pushed to one knee and clapped some invisible dust off her hands without bothering to check over her shoulder. As for the Sparkly Sadist, she straightened up and backed off several paces, Goodheart using the roar of the crowd to cover her retreat. Just like that she exploded forward, Violyt eating up all the space she’d ceded to dive in headlong with a Basement Lariat that THWHAPPED across the base of Rose’s oblivious noggin!
BASEMENT ENZU LARIAT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf13s8If6EA
Evans went down in a gobsmacked heap then rolled onto her back and beat both heels against the mat. “Can’t believe you’d stick your fingers in my mouth in this day and age, Rosie.” Violyt’s tone was somewhat reproachful as she sat down above the flattened redhead. “Guess I should applaud you, that’s probably the bravest thing you’ve done all year! Still… you tried to tear off my face. And where I’m from, that’s a two-player game.”
“Shuuuhhh…. shut your idiot mouth.” Rose huffed. “Your nonsense doesn’t scare HHHRRRGGGHHHHHHH!”
Cognizant of Merle’s scrutiny, Goodheart cupped Evans’ ears to lift her head off the mat, then slid in close and slipped her thighs around the other wrestler’s noggin with an audible ‘smeck’. Placing her hands on the mat once the Scissors were secure, Goodheart crossed her ankles and elevated her butt by several inches to inflict maximum constriction on her fuming, thrashing foe. “How’s the ol’ heart rate now, Rosie?” Violyt teased after several seconds had elapsed. “Starting to go pitter-patter now that my thighs are grinding your jawline?”
Evans, who’d been trying to prize her foe’s stems apart, suddenly slapped Goodheart’s stems and draaaaaaaaaagged her claws in opposite directions, leaving a near matching set of pink scratches on the blonde’s thighs. “I’ve conquered challenges the likes of which your feeble mind can’t even imagine.” Rose growled. “This paltry effort of yours doesn’t even merit a dishonorable mentMMMMPPPPPHHHHH!”
Setting herself down to free up both hands, the Princess of Peaksville hunched over her opponent and casually cupped her left hand over Evans’ mouth. Nothing casual about the pincer applied to her nose though, Violyt caught the redhead’s defenseless schnoz between thumb and forefinger and twisted it like a radio dial! “She’s a skeptic!” Goodheart exclaimed to Merle. “Merle, I LOVE skeptics! Do you know what happens to the skeptic in a horror movie?”
The referee refrained from answering until he was certain his charge’s hold was just painful and not illegal. Once satisfied in that regard, he said, “Ummmhhh… they die first?”
“Close!” she answered in the impressed tone of someone who hadn’t expected an even vaguely close wrong answer. “They don’t always die first. But Merle, they always die WORST.”
On that ominous note the Glittering Enigma slipped her right thumb into the corner of Rose’s mouth and pulled like she meant to pop it out through the redhead’s cheek! Merle yelped along with Rose (though her reaction was admittedly much more energetic), then ordered, “Knock it off, Violyt! Right now!”
Goodheart looked up, seemingly surprised. “What, what’d I do?”
“You know damned well! Now stop HEY!”
Violyt extracted the fishhook only to transform that hand into a spade that she raaaaaaaaaaked across Evans’ eyes! Happy to capitalize on the official’s surprise, Violyt shifted her attention south, pinching Rose’s bottom lip in a grasp identical to the one that trapped her nose. She jostled it up and down, the motion evocative of someone trying to flip on a dead light switch, only this light switch had learned to wail and plead. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
The blonde broke ended her mauling and the Headscissors without a hint of irritation, Violyt casually rolling to one knee to smooth back her hair while Rose barrel rolled onto her stomach before clambering to her knees with one hand pressed to her stinging features. “DISQUALIFY HER!” Evans demanded, the words slightly muffled by her protecting palm. “BYTCH IS A LUNATIC!”
Goodheart stood and offered both adversary and zebra a beaming smile. “Aaaaahhhh, from skeptic to believer. Delightful!”
By now Rose was on her feet and sidling up next to Merle. “Check my eye.” she sniffled. “I think that maniac might’ve scratched a retina.”
The ref pointed a stern finger in Violyt’s direction. “Don’t move, Violyt. Don’t even think about it!”
The Sparkly Sadist shook her head sadly, like Merle didn’t know her at all. “As if I’d ever stoop low enough to interrupt an ophthalmologic examination. Sheesh, what sort of monster do you take me for?”
Merle didn’t answer, he’d already turned his back on the blonde to check Evans’ eye. “Ok Rose, tilt your head back for me. Thanks, that’s good. Well, you’ve got some scratches around the eye, but it looks like WHOAHEY!”
The Smartest Girl in the Room knocked the poor, trusting dope aside with a sawed-off Shoulderblock and made straight for Violyt, her left hand leading the way as a face-shredding taloNO!
Violyt evaded the slash with a well-placed swat that let her spin behind the infuriated redhead as neat as you please. Quick to make Evans pay for her deception, Goodheart scored her opponent’s six from shoulders to buttock, then grabbed a handful of waistband and reeled her in close enough to stuff her head beneath Rose’s left arm. From there she looped her right arm around Evil Genius’ waist and braced her left hand against Evans’ bum so she could hoist her up onto her right shoulder for a Backdrop Supl-- Violyt slung Rose back the way she’d came while simultaneously dropping to her knees, all the better to THAWHAM the stunned redhead down flat on her face, chest and belly!
BACKDROP FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtiWq_WhEVM
Evans bounced a good four inches, tumbled onto her back at sat up wearily, both hands pressed to mouth and nose to check for damage. Thusly preoccupied she didn’t notice Goodheart skipping her way toward the ropes on the far side of the ring. Settling back against the rubber-coated steel, Violyt slipped a thumb into her waistband and deftly removed a small packet of glitter, which she promptly tore open and dusted over the whole of her left knee-pad. To no one in particular she murmured, “All you need is faith, trust…” she glanced to Rose, who was still checking the status of her nose, “… and a little bit of Pixie Dust. HEY ROSIE, GOT SOMETHIN’ FOR YA!”
Rose looked up and by then Goodheart was already bearing down full speed ahead, the Princess of Peaksville pistoning her left knee up to THWHUNK it between the redhead’s eyes! The bone-jarring collision was accompanied by an oddly festive ‘poof’ of multicolored glitter that swirled and twisted in the air surrounding Rose’s noggin in the seconds before she crumpled to the deck in an awkward sprawl.
BASEMENT KNEE STRIKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1YQ28Tu_e0
“What the… where’d that glitter come from?” Merle sounded more than a little bumfuzzled as Violent scraped her foe off the mat with a double handful of hair.
“What a heartbreaking question. Merle!” Goodheart dipped her head beneath Evans’ left arm while simultaneously wrapping her own left arm around the back of Rose’s noggin. From there she muscled the redhead off her feet, Violyt keeping her prey close enough to encourage Evans to thread a loose Scissors around her waist. Flicking her attention to the official, the Sparkly Sadist added, “It comes from YOU, Merleton! You’ve been magic all along!” Merle didn’t even get a chance to reply before Violyt kicked her feet forward and laid out on her back to THWHONK Rose’s forehead into the thinly-sheathed plywood with the cradled Reverse STO she called Happy Thoughts.
HAPPY THOUGHTS @ 5:10
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ula_ftLmtdA
The Wooziest Girl in the Room bounced much as she did after the Backdrop Facebuster, though Goodheart made no effort to shovel Evans onto her back. Instead she helped herself to the redhead’s left wrist and stretched that arm out away from her torso only to thread it around the back of her right leg. From there the blonde dropped to one knee, pressing that joint into Rose’s back while also trapping her arm between calf and thigh in a most awkward predicament. The twinge at shoulder and elbow made Evans groan, though she didn’t grasp the true severity of her position until Goodheart braced her left foot against the side of her head and stomped down no less than half a dozen times!
“EERRRGGHHHH! GET THE HELL OFFA MENO! NO! NO YOU F*CKING PSYCHOPATH LEMME GO AAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!” Rose had reached up with her right hand in hopes of pushing Goodheart’s foot away only to realize her mistake when the Princess of Peaksville snatched it in a death-grip. Soon as it was in her grasp Violyt snapped backward, stretching out flat to put hellacious torque on that limb with modified Armbar she called Violyt Begets Violynce.
VIOLYT BEGETS VIOLYNCE @ 3:15
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M90azadGU7c
Shifting her plant foot to better grind that sole against Evans’ ear, Goodheart worked the agonizing hold with a truly contented smile while Rose shrieked, “AAAARRRRRHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAWD! LEMME GO, YOU BYTCH! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! I GIVVVVVVVVVE!”
Merle called for the bell and Violyt released promptly to ensure she was back on her feet by the time the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via submission… VIOLYT GOODHEART!”
“That’s me!” Violyt tossed a handful of glitter (gleaned from unknown sources) into the air and let it rain down on her hair and shoulders. Properly bedazzled, she skipped over to Evans and placed a boot in the center of the redhead’s back. Hands on her hips, she looked to Merle and asked, “Ya think Rosie is gonna give more credence to the stories now that’s been a part of one?”
“Guuuuhhhh…. get offa me you evil bytch.” Evans demanded with as much venom as she could muster.
Goodheart smiled, winked at the official. “Ooooohhhh, that sounds about right! From skeptic to believer in under twenty minutes, that’s a good night’s work! And now you’re not just the Smartest Girl in the Room…” Violyt bent down and carefully brushed some hair off of Evans’ sweaty forehead. “…you’re the Smartest Girl in Overnight Recovery too!” then, much softer. “And you’re gonna be careful to say my name quietly and with the utmost respect, I’d imagine.”
Rose said nothing, which was all the answer Violyt needed. Straightening up, she ran her hands through glitter-dusted hair, then smacked her hands clean on the seat of her pink togs. “Welp, my work here is done! Have a great Spring Break everyone, I’ll see ya from the back of a milk carton if everything goes according to plan!” With that she blew those assembled a great gaudy pageant winner’s kiss and skipped out of the ring, leaving nothing but the mewling wreckage of Rose Evans and a sprinkle of glitter in her wake.
ROSE EVANS:
A cascade of boors began to rain down before the redhead’s name was even out of his mouth. A few moments later Rose brushed the curtain aside and stalked into view. Drawing to a halt in the face of those cacophonous jeers, Evans crinkled her nose in disgust and shook her head ‘no’, looking for all the world like a woman confronted by foulest thing she could imagine (a capacity crowd in Orlando, in Rose’s case). Steeling her nerves for that interminable walk through the sub-humanoids, the Smartest Girl in the Room mouthed, ‘Idiots’ to ensure the proper tone as she started down the ramp.
For her match tonight Evans wore the classic Barely Legal attire, black bustier with a matching black and red plaid miniskirt, the latter showing peek-a-boo glimpses of black lace panties as Rose made her way to ringside. The look was completed with thigh high black nylons and simple white wrestling boots adorned with ‘RE’ in stylized blood-red script. Quick to make her way up the steel steps at the nearest corner, Evans strode out to the center of the apron where she slipped a leg through and sloooooowly-nope. The Evil Genius entered the ring with none of her previous theatrics, save for a mocking ‘no, no, no’ waggle of one finger. “As if you monosyllabic idiots are worthy of such a privilege.” she sneered. “You should be on your knees THANKING me for bringing this level of intellectual stimulation to your miserable little humdrum lives!”
The Spring Breakers responded with their loudest boos yet, their churlish obstinance forcing her to retreat to the far corner where she could go through a few last minute stretches (both physical and mental) while waiting for Merle the referee to fumble his way through his final inspection. And her opponent, of course. Not that anyone waiting on the other side of the curtain would prove a match for the Smartest Girl in the Room.
Merle was heading across the ring to check his charges boots when the house lights flipped to full strobe and the speakers let loose with an odd electronic warble that quickly transformed into the jaunty opening of ‘I Don’t Know How But They Found Me’s Choke.
CHOKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvJjmWTg7Qo
Stop, drop
And drag me into place
And lock the fire escapes
I'll break your pretty face
Yeah, Yeah
Oh, you clever little things
The sycophantic teens
What a precious basket case
Yeah, Yeah
Cannons on either side of the stage exploded in time with the second set of Yeah’s, not in a cloud of pyro but a billowing swirl of rainbow glitter! From the depths of this kaleidoscopic cyclone a figure emerged to stand before the Spring Breakers. Lips curled into a faint smile as she absorbed the festive atmosphere, Violyt Goodheart looked around and, “Reminds me of Spring Break in Fond du lac back in ‘73. So. Much. BLOOD!” Turning her attention to ring and the bipedal I.Q. Test awaiting within, the Glittering Enigma started down the ramp with a skip in her step and a twinkle in her cold green eyes.
VIOLYT GOODHEART:
Regaining his composure after Goodheart’s abrupt arrival, the Announcer raised his mic. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Peaksville Ohio, she stands at five feet five inches tall and weighs in at one hundred and twenty-five pounds. She is inscrutable, indecipherable and downright impossible! This is VIOLYT GOODHEART!”
Even now, almost four months into her FAWN tenure, the crowd wasn’t quite sure how to react to mercurial newcomer. Some nights she’d skip out to the ring and demolish Andromeda for the joy of one and all. Some nights she’d try to put Winter Fyre’s head through the seat of a chair to less agreeable reactions. Be they raucous cheers or vitriolic jeers, the fans didn’t bother Violyt at all, indeed she seemed over the moon as she zigged and zagged across the aisle to exchange high fives or stop for pictures with anyone who asked. And indeed she looked every bit the portrait of a warrior in the service of sweetness and light.
For her first Spring Break in Orlando the willowy strong blonde bendy-back wore bubble-gum pink trunks with a V-shaped white trim 'belt' and much thinner white trim around the leg holes. Above this was a matching halter-style top with white trim along the neckline and edges. Her pads at knee and elbow were a matching pink, boots were gleaming white while her wrist tape was rainbow patterned. Atop all this she wore a classic white nylon windbreaker with pink trim at the collar and cuffs. It was the back of this windbreaker that offered concrete evidence that all was not as it seemed when it came to the Princess of Peaksville. Sure, the Lisa Frank style portrait of a unicorn flying over a rainbow was perfectly on brand, however the message below advised the reader to ’Eat Sh!t and Die!’ in a disconcertingly cartoonish script.
Oblivious to (or perhaps delighted by) any confusion caused by her attire, Goodheart pulled away from the FAWNatics and broke into a sprint that ended with her diving beneath the bottom rope. Pushing onto her knees about the time she reached mid-ring, Violyt offered the hard camera a knowing wink before she fluffed her hair to divest it of excess glitter. From there she popped to verticality and whipped off the windbreaker only to sling it over Merle’s shoulder as he was walking up to check her pads and boots. “Don’t lose that!” she said of her jacket. “It’s cursed!” “Oh jeeze. Umh, what would happen if I lost it?” Merle asked quite earnestly. “I don’t know. I’ve never lost it.” Violyt replied. “But the fortune teller promised it would weevils. Lots and lots of weevils.” “Weevils?” “Yeah. Weevils. From every orifice.” Goodheart looked rather grim for a second, then broke into a winning smile. “So don’t lose my jacket, ‘kay?”
With that she turned around and headed to the far corner, leaving the referee to follow only AFTER he’d handed over the jacket to a FAWN tech… and told him about the weevil thing.
“Check her again, idiot!” Rose shouted once Merle finished his inspection of Goodheart’s elbow and knee-pads. “Her boots too! That maniac has been known to carry a salad fork!”
“It’s a CAKE fork,” Violyt murmured before adding, “is what I would say if there were any validity to that slanderous rumor.”
The ref arched an eyebrow and said, “Do I need to check you again, Vi?”
“Buy me dinner first, Merleton.” Goodheart replied without missing a beat.
“Ummmhhh, that’s not actually my name.”
“Then I guess you don’t really have to check me again, do you?”
Her logic escaped him, but Merle was satisfied the blonde didn’t have an arsenal secreted away, so he stepped clear and threw a signal to the Timekeeper who rang the match live immediately thereafter. “Oh goody, recess!” Violyt clapped her hands and headed to the middle of the ring to meet Rose, who was also on her way, albeit at a far more measured pace. “C’mon Rosie, get a move on!” Goodheart tapped an invisible watch with two fingers. “Recess is only twenty minutes and then it’s right back to boring old theoretical mathem--”
Evans lashed out with a viper-quick Bytch Slap, the redhead turning Goodheart’s head sideways with a CRAAACK that earned a loud ‘Ooooooohhhhhh!’ from the Spring Breakers. “Don’t think your giggling savant nonsense is going to fool me for a second, Goodberry, or whatever your name is this week! I know a duplicitous sack of shyt when I see one and you’re the biggest I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter!”
Violyt put a hand to her stinging cheek, the blonde’s eyes narrowed in an expression of surprise and obvious disappointment. “Sheesh Rosie, I thought you were the Smartest Girl in the Room, not the meanest. But I guess you’re not THAT smart, if you believe the same nonsense as every--” Rose swung a second Bytch Slap at her face but Goodheart dipped low, spun ‘round behind and swatted a ‘missed me!’ sorta shove between her opponent’s shoulders.
Evans sneered, caught her balance and whirled to face her adversary. “That all you got, psycho?” she snapped.
“All I’ll need for a forgettable intellect like yours, Rosie!”
Violyt giggled. The smirk on Evans’ face disintegrated in a poisonous frown. “What’d you say, freak?”
“I said I can’t believe it took Gabby so long to dump your silly ass! All that Dubble Bubble must’ve f*cked up her nose otherwise she’d have smelled the stink of failure on you right--”
Rose lashed out with a slap even harder than the first, only problem was Goodheart intercepted it by catching a death-grip on her wrist with the blow mere inches from her cheek!
“No one slaps me twice and lives, brainy.” Violyt kissed the redhead’s fingertips in exaggerated fashion, then doubled down on the Wristlock and stretched Rose’s arm full length just to twist it in a smooth circle and follow up with a Kneelift to the belly! Drawing the captured limb snug across her own chest, Goodheart kicked Evans’ left leg out from under her and laid out on her back to drive the other wrestler’s left shoulder into the thinly-sheathed plywood! Rose hissed in pain, started to pull away, only to curse in disgust when Violyt didn’t relinquish her grip. “Let go of me you stupid rrrrggggghhhh!”
The Princess of Peaksville folded that arm into a Hammerlock that wedged Rose’s hand up between her shoulders. “You’ll wanna be real careful using the S-word around me, Rosie.” Goodheart noted with only the faintest trace of humor. “That’s the kind of thing I might take persona--”
“I said SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTHHEERRRRRRHHHH!”
Violyt leaned over the prone arm, planted her forehead against the deck and somersaulted over into a high bridge to put that much more pressure on her foe’s shoulder and elbow. Rose snarled in pain, but immediately shook her head ‘no’ when Merle inquired about surrender.
FALLING HAMMERLOCK ARMBREAKER & BRIDGING HAMMERLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq9onRhARXI
“That all you got?” she snapped at the blonde instead. “You’re supposed to be some wandering lunatic with a whole catalogue of horrors to your name and the nastiest thing you can think of is a f*cking Hammerlock? How pedestrian. How jejune. How OOOWWWWW BYTCH!”
Violet freed her left hand from the Hammerlock, curled it into a claw and reached across Evans’ belly (she’d made it to her knees in an effort to alleviate the torque of the hold) and raaaaaaaaaaked the redhead’s belly half a dozen times before gouging her index finger deep into Rose’s navel! “Got some math for that big brain of yours, Rosie.” Violyt’s smile grew wider as Evans’ shrieks grew sharper. “One dislocated elbow plus one torn rotator cuff equals how many months on the shOOFFFFHH!”
Rose maneuvered in such a way that she was able to reach across with her right hand and SLAP Goodheart’s midriff hard enough to break the Hammerlock and the bridge in a single stroke. Barrel rolling away the instant she was clear, Rose popped up on one knee several feet away and massaged her shoulder while staring a hole through Violyt, who’d also made it to her knees to examine the palm-shaped welt on her tummy.
“Pink belly? You gave me a pink belly?” Goodheart asked in the tone of someone genuinely aggrieved by the situation. “Who do you think you are, Macy Renquist?”
The Smartest Girl in the Room snorted derisively as she got to her feet. “That feather-fisted fraud isn’t fit to carry my luggage.”
“Sure about that? She carries the Lightweight title pretty well. So did Gabby, now that I think about it. Weird isn’t it, how idiots somehow keep winning gold and you haven’t manag--”
“These pathetic mind games won’t work on me.” Rose interrupted. “Save it for an intellect that doesn’t already see right through--”
“Maybe I’ll just scratch out your eyes instead.” Violyt chirped.
That was more than enough for Rose, who popped to verticality and made straight for the penitent blonde. A Toe Kick aimed at Goodheart’s gut came maddeningly close to striking true before the Sparkly Sadist caught her ankle in both hands. “Poor Rosie.” the blonde sighed as she stood up while forcing Evans to hop in place. “Ya got an A+ brain and C- conditioning, no wonder Mendoza ditched NNNNGGGHHHHH!”
Evans sprang off her plant foot and swept it up and across to THWHACK Violyt upside the head! The Enzugiri struck true and Goodheart spun in a half circle, the oddball newcomer looking understandably woozy as she staggered away from--
“AAAAAAAHHHHH! Mean! Mean! MEAN!” Violyt hissed in pained dismay as Rose raked her from the shoulders on down with a vicious double handful of crooked talons!
“Bytch, you don’t KNOW mean, yet.” Evans grabbed Goodheart by the shoulder, spun her in a half circle and fired off another Toe Kick. No missing now, the tip of Rose’s boot dug deep and she wasted no time collecting the freak’s head in a Front Facelock. Tossing Violyt’s near arm across her shoulders, she caught hold of some sparkly pink trunks and boosted the blonde to three o’clock before she twisted under and laid out, thus THWHAMMING Goodheart down on the back of her head and shoulders with a picture perfect Rose-Plex.
ROSE BLOOM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ene9vM92YWc
Of no mind to toy with this idiot any longer than absolutely necessary, Evans floated over into a cover, hooked the far leg and pulled it tight while making a point to draaaaaaaaag the bony ridge of her forearm back n’ forth along Violyt’s cheek. Meanwhile, Merle and the FAWNatics tolled off…
ONE…
TWO…
The Glittering Enigma kicked out simultaneous with ‘TWO!’ much to the disdain of Evans, who promptly berated the official for less than optimal counting skills. An attempt by Violyt to regain her footing redirected the redhead’s attention and in the blink of an eye she’d mounted Goodheart’s back, all the better to pull the other woman’s arms backward across the sturdy planks of her thighs.
“Did I say you could stand in my presence, cretin?” Rose mussed Violyt’s hair with both hands to make sure there was no trouble identifying the cretin in question. “Hey, I asked you a question!” Evans snapped when the blonde offered no response. “Answer me!” The Smartest Girl in the Room slapped the back of Goodheart’s head for the simple joy of doing so.
Violyt eased her struggles, though the careful observer noted she was still making near constant micro-adjustments in the hopes of getting at least one arm clear of the redhead’s legs. “Well…” she said in a surprisingly conversational tone, “you didn’t tell me I COULDN’T, so I figured I’d just show some initiative and do it myself! Oh, and Rose? Slap me one more time and I’ll shred that bratty little face of EEERRRHHHHHHHH!”
In no mood for threats from the sparkly idiot, Evans pressed her palms to the sides of Violyt’s face and deftly slipped two fingers into each corner of the blonde’s mouth! Gouging those hooks deep against the soft insides of her opponent’s cheeks, Rose cranked back on the almost Chinlock and bobbled her head in a way that was both violent and patronizing. “What was that? Were you threatening me?” Evans jounced the blonde’s head again, added a third finger to each fishhook and pulled back until Goodheart was looking at the lights and burbling in anguish. “You don’t possess the motor skills or the cranial capacity to properly threaten me, you disgusting little worm! Now admit your error and beg for mercy before I--”
“Get your fingers out of her mouth, Rose! You know better than that!” Merle chided when it became clear the redhead needed some prompting.
“You’re absolutely right, I do know better. Which is why I refuse to acknowledge this baseless demand until I hear a proper count!”
The ref stifled a sigh, raised one hand and counted, “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!” Rose relinquished the Fishhooks only to secure a half-Chinlock so she could wipe her glistening fingers dry on the protesting blonde’s cheeks. A traditional Camel Clutch followed, but now that it was secured Evans’ attention was for Merle and Merle alone.
“That was a disgracefully fast count, is this the sort of standard that Castle’s accepting these days?”
“The count was fine, Rose. Violyt, do you need me to call for--”
“Don’t talk to HER, she has nothing to say to you!” The redhead lent credence to this statement by cupping a hand over Goodheart’s mouth and pinching her nostrils between thumb and forefinger. Smirking ever so slightly as she felt Violyt’s protestations against her smothering palm, Rose resumed, “As I was saying, it’s clear to me that either Castle is slacking or you’re a very slow learner. To that end, I believe we need a second count.” She released the HOM Smother, pressed the palm of that hand to Violyt’s forehead and crooked her index and middle fingers into tiny hooks she tapped against the tip of Goodheart’s nose. “Pay careful attention, idiot. I’m going to count very…sloooooooowly and I want you to follow along. And enunciate clearly, it’s important!”
Well aware of what the other woman had planned, Violyt’s tone was cheery though her message was anything but. “Looks like you’re thinking bad thoughts, Rosie. You don’t wanna find out what happens to people who lose their happy thEEERRRGGGGHHHHHH!”
Rose hooked her fingers into Goodheart’s nostrils and pulled like she meant to stretch them out by six inches or more. “Welcome to Remedial Counting, Merle.” Evans said to the ref in a cloyingly sweet tone. “Join in with me now! ONE………. TWO…..--”
“ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Evans released with obvious disdain, the Smartest Girl in the room pushing up from her seat only to drop into a deep squat Butt Bomb that left Violyt facedown and massaging the small of her back. Almost absently, Rose planted a foot atop the strained muscles and shifted so that she was bearing down on Goodheart with every bit of her weight! Sounding remarkably composed for someone who was trying to skewer her opposition like a bug on a card, Evans locked eyes with Merle and explained, “Your insolence has been noted and filed away for future review.”
Hopping off without further comment, Rose bent down, flattened one hand into a paddle and swatted Violyt’s glutes at least half a dozen times. “Ooooooohhhh, aren’t you the CUTEST little monster!” she sent that hand north and filled it with the blonde’s hair. “You’re about as dangerous as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and all the other made up things that go bump in the night!”
“Thhhhuuu… that’s Mister Sasquatch to you, honey.” Goodheart huffed as the redhead hauled her to verticality. “You’re gonna want to put some respeck on his NNNGGGHHH!”
Evans slammed a dagger-point elbow between her opponent’s shoulders, then dipped low and stuffed her head under Violyt’s left arm while cinching a Waistlock around her midsection. Soon as that was done she got low and popped her hips, Rose taking the bizarre newcomer up, over and DOWN onto the back of her head with a snappy Seito Suplex. Bridging up on tiptoe while the ring was still shaking, Evans held Violyt glued in place for the…
SHE LOVES ME NOT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGI7jq3Dc2M
ONE…
TWO…
Violyt twisted free and landed on her stomach, though the escape must’ve cost her dear because both hands were at her aching lower back almost immediately. “That was a passable imitation of a middling count.” Rose sniped at Merle in the midst of adjusting her trunks. “Perhaps you’ll be a C-Student one day after all.”
“Least he’s got friends.” Violyt giggled from somewhere on all fours.
“What’d you say to me, freak?” Evans hissed.
“I said Merle’s got friends that like him and want to hang out.” The Princess of Peaksville reared back on her knees and grinned up at Rose, making no effort to regain her feet. “Who talks to you these days, Rosie? And by the way, that old picture of Gabby you’ve got taped to the back of your locker doesn’t coNNNNGGGGHHH!”
Evans snatched a double handful of hair and pasted her face with a Hip Check hard enough to bloody the blonde’s lower lip. Ignoring the nattering from Merle, Rose hauled Goodheart to verticality and quickly spun her around in a half circle. Another Waistlock followed, Rose digging away at Violyt’s midriff with her knotted fists while she murmured into her ear. “I think it’s about time you learned to put some respect on MY name, bytch.”
Eager to bring some illumination to this chronically dim bulb, Evans got low and popped her hips for a Release German Suplex that turned the pink-clad pugilist inside-NO! Goodheart somersaulted through landed on one knee and slammed both fists into the canvas. The resultant THUMP was a damned solid approximation of a body hitting the mat. It must’ve been, because Rose pushed to one knee and clapped some invisible dust off her hands without bothering to check over her shoulder. As for the Sparkly Sadist, she straightened up and backed off several paces, Goodheart using the roar of the crowd to cover her retreat. Just like that she exploded forward, Violyt eating up all the space she’d ceded to dive in headlong with a Basement Lariat that THWHAPPED across the base of Rose’s oblivious noggin!
BASEMENT ENZU LARIAT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf13s8If6EA
Evans went down in a gobsmacked heap then rolled onto her back and beat both heels against the mat. “Can’t believe you’d stick your fingers in my mouth in this day and age, Rosie.” Violyt’s tone was somewhat reproachful as she sat down above the flattened redhead. “Guess I should applaud you, that’s probably the bravest thing you’ve done all year! Still… you tried to tear off my face. And where I’m from, that’s a two-player game.”
“Shuuuhhh…. shut your idiot mouth.” Rose huffed. “Your nonsense doesn’t scare HHHRRRGGGHHHHHHH!”
Cognizant of Merle’s scrutiny, Goodheart cupped Evans’ ears to lift her head off the mat, then slid in close and slipped her thighs around the other wrestler’s noggin with an audible ‘smeck’. Placing her hands on the mat once the Scissors were secure, Goodheart crossed her ankles and elevated her butt by several inches to inflict maximum constriction on her fuming, thrashing foe. “How’s the ol’ heart rate now, Rosie?” Violyt teased after several seconds had elapsed. “Starting to go pitter-patter now that my thighs are grinding your jawline?”
Evans, who’d been trying to prize her foe’s stems apart, suddenly slapped Goodheart’s stems and draaaaaaaaaagged her claws in opposite directions, leaving a near matching set of pink scratches on the blonde’s thighs. “I’ve conquered challenges the likes of which your feeble mind can’t even imagine.” Rose growled. “This paltry effort of yours doesn’t even merit a dishonorable mentMMMMPPPPPHHHHH!”
Setting herself down to free up both hands, the Princess of Peaksville hunched over her opponent and casually cupped her left hand over Evans’ mouth. Nothing casual about the pincer applied to her nose though, Violyt caught the redhead’s defenseless schnoz between thumb and forefinger and twisted it like a radio dial! “She’s a skeptic!” Goodheart exclaimed to Merle. “Merle, I LOVE skeptics! Do you know what happens to the skeptic in a horror movie?”
The referee refrained from answering until he was certain his charge’s hold was just painful and not illegal. Once satisfied in that regard, he said, “Ummmhhh… they die first?”
“Close!” she answered in the impressed tone of someone who hadn’t expected an even vaguely close wrong answer. “They don’t always die first. But Merle, they always die WORST.”
On that ominous note the Glittering Enigma slipped her right thumb into the corner of Rose’s mouth and pulled like she meant to pop it out through the redhead’s cheek! Merle yelped along with Rose (though her reaction was admittedly much more energetic), then ordered, “Knock it off, Violyt! Right now!”
Goodheart looked up, seemingly surprised. “What, what’d I do?”
“You know damned well! Now stop HEY!”
Violyt extracted the fishhook only to transform that hand into a spade that she raaaaaaaaaaked across Evans’ eyes! Happy to capitalize on the official’s surprise, Violyt shifted her attention south, pinching Rose’s bottom lip in a grasp identical to the one that trapped her nose. She jostled it up and down, the motion evocative of someone trying to flip on a dead light switch, only this light switch had learned to wail and plead. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
The blonde broke ended her mauling and the Headscissors without a hint of irritation, Violyt casually rolling to one knee to smooth back her hair while Rose barrel rolled onto her stomach before clambering to her knees with one hand pressed to her stinging features. “DISQUALIFY HER!” Evans demanded, the words slightly muffled by her protecting palm. “BYTCH IS A LUNATIC!”
Goodheart stood and offered both adversary and zebra a beaming smile. “Aaaaahhhh, from skeptic to believer. Delightful!”
By now Rose was on her feet and sidling up next to Merle. “Check my eye.” she sniffled. “I think that maniac might’ve scratched a retina.”
The ref pointed a stern finger in Violyt’s direction. “Don’t move, Violyt. Don’t even think about it!”
The Sparkly Sadist shook her head sadly, like Merle didn’t know her at all. “As if I’d ever stoop low enough to interrupt an ophthalmologic examination. Sheesh, what sort of monster do you take me for?”
Merle didn’t answer, he’d already turned his back on the blonde to check Evans’ eye. “Ok Rose, tilt your head back for me. Thanks, that’s good. Well, you’ve got some scratches around the eye, but it looks like WHOAHEY!”
The Smartest Girl in the Room knocked the poor, trusting dope aside with a sawed-off Shoulderblock and made straight for Violyt, her left hand leading the way as a face-shredding taloNO!
Violyt evaded the slash with a well-placed swat that let her spin behind the infuriated redhead as neat as you please. Quick to make Evans pay for her deception, Goodheart scored her opponent’s six from shoulders to buttock, then grabbed a handful of waistband and reeled her in close enough to stuff her head beneath Rose’s left arm. From there she looped her right arm around Evil Genius’ waist and braced her left hand against Evans’ bum so she could hoist her up onto her right shoulder for a Backdrop Supl-- Violyt slung Rose back the way she’d came while simultaneously dropping to her knees, all the better to THAWHAM the stunned redhead down flat on her face, chest and belly!
BACKDROP FACEBUSTER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtiWq_WhEVM
Evans bounced a good four inches, tumbled onto her back at sat up wearily, both hands pressed to mouth and nose to check for damage. Thusly preoccupied she didn’t notice Goodheart skipping her way toward the ropes on the far side of the ring. Settling back against the rubber-coated steel, Violyt slipped a thumb into her waistband and deftly removed a small packet of glitter, which she promptly tore open and dusted over the whole of her left knee-pad. To no one in particular she murmured, “All you need is faith, trust…” she glanced to Rose, who was still checking the status of her nose, “… and a little bit of Pixie Dust. HEY ROSIE, GOT SOMETHIN’ FOR YA!”
Rose looked up and by then Goodheart was already bearing down full speed ahead, the Princess of Peaksville pistoning her left knee up to THWHUNK it between the redhead’s eyes! The bone-jarring collision was accompanied by an oddly festive ‘poof’ of multicolored glitter that swirled and twisted in the air surrounding Rose’s noggin in the seconds before she crumpled to the deck in an awkward sprawl.
BASEMENT KNEE STRIKE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1YQ28Tu_e0
“What the… where’d that glitter come from?” Merle sounded more than a little bumfuzzled as Violent scraped her foe off the mat with a double handful of hair.
“What a heartbreaking question. Merle!” Goodheart dipped her head beneath Evans’ left arm while simultaneously wrapping her own left arm around the back of Rose’s noggin. From there she muscled the redhead off her feet, Violyt keeping her prey close enough to encourage Evans to thread a loose Scissors around her waist. Flicking her attention to the official, the Sparkly Sadist added, “It comes from YOU, Merleton! You’ve been magic all along!” Merle didn’t even get a chance to reply before Violyt kicked her feet forward and laid out on her back to THWHONK Rose’s forehead into the thinly-sheathed plywood with the cradled Reverse STO she called Happy Thoughts.
HAPPY THOUGHTS @ 5:10
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ula_ftLmtdA
The Wooziest Girl in the Room bounced much as she did after the Backdrop Facebuster, though Goodheart made no effort to shovel Evans onto her back. Instead she helped herself to the redhead’s left wrist and stretched that arm out away from her torso only to thread it around the back of her right leg. From there the blonde dropped to one knee, pressing that joint into Rose’s back while also trapping her arm between calf and thigh in a most awkward predicament. The twinge at shoulder and elbow made Evans groan, though she didn’t grasp the true severity of her position until Goodheart braced her left foot against the side of her head and stomped down no less than half a dozen times!
“EERRRGGHHHH! GET THE HELL OFFA MENO! NO! NO YOU F*CKING PSYCHOPATH LEMME GO AAAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!” Rose had reached up with her right hand in hopes of pushing Goodheart’s foot away only to realize her mistake when the Princess of Peaksville snatched it in a death-grip. Soon as it was in her grasp Violyt snapped backward, stretching out flat to put hellacious torque on that limb with modified Armbar she called Violyt Begets Violynce.
VIOLYT BEGETS VIOLYNCE @ 3:15
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M90azadGU7c
Shifting her plant foot to better grind that sole against Evans’ ear, Goodheart worked the agonizing hold with a truly contented smile while Rose shrieked, “AAAARRRRRHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAWD! LEMME GO, YOU BYTCH! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! I GIVVVVVVVVVE!”
Merle called for the bell and Violyt released promptly to ensure she was back on her feet by the time the Announcer called, “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via submission… VIOLYT GOODHEART!”
“That’s me!” Violyt tossed a handful of glitter (gleaned from unknown sources) into the air and let it rain down on her hair and shoulders. Properly bedazzled, she skipped over to Evans and placed a boot in the center of the redhead’s back. Hands on her hips, she looked to Merle and asked, “Ya think Rosie is gonna give more credence to the stories now that’s been a part of one?”
“Guuuuhhhh…. get offa me you evil bytch.” Evans demanded with as much venom as she could muster.
Goodheart smiled, winked at the official. “Ooooohhhh, that sounds about right! From skeptic to believer in under twenty minutes, that’s a good night’s work! And now you’re not just the Smartest Girl in the Room…” Violyt bent down and carefully brushed some hair off of Evans’ sweaty forehead. “…you’re the Smartest Girl in Overnight Recovery too!” then, much softer. “And you’re gonna be careful to say my name quietly and with the utmost respect, I’d imagine.”
Rose said nothing, which was all the answer Violyt needed. Straightening up, she ran her hands through glitter-dusted hair, then smacked her hands clean on the seat of her pink togs. “Welp, my work here is done! Have a great Spring Break everyone, I’ll see ya from the back of a milk carton if everything goes according to plan!” With that she blew those assembled a great gaudy pageant winner’s kiss and skipped out of the ring, leaving nothing but the mewling wreckage of Rose Evans and a sprinkle of glitter in her wake.