Post by hawkeye on Jul 12, 2019 0:01:55 GMT
Making an appearance after another months long absence, thief turned judoka turned professional wrestler turned part-time interview host Maria Alves sits in a chair in the middle of the ring. Though she’s dressed for action in her stylized white gi with accompanying black belt, the microphone in her hand and the empty chair across from her indicates that the young Brazilian woman is expecting her guest to talk.
MARIA ALVES
“Greetings and salutations,” Maria cheerfully addresses the throngs, who as always react with confused murmurs. “I come bearing good news! The clandestine Saudi operatives on my trail have been dispatched, and thus I am free to again appear in public! Huzzah!”
Once more, the FAWNatics can only muster a flat “WHAAAAAAT” in response to the enigmatic Alves. That no one else seems to share her merriment doesn’t dampen her spirit though, and Maria continues speaking unabated.
“For this next installment of MariaTV, I would like to welcome my guest, our Lightweight Champion, the perpetually damp and pungent Estrina Starfire!”
Invoking the name of the Celestial Stunner rouses the audience out of their stupor, and they roar to life with an ear-splitting ovation just as the woman herself appears atop the entrance ramp. Her usual ring gear now adorned by an additional ten pounds of leather and gold, Estrina salutes her fans and points her fingers to the crowd just as the pyrotechnics shower her with sparks and smoke.
ESTRINA STARFIRE
Now a member of FAWN’s gold-wearing elite, Starfire struts down to the ring with an extra pep in her step. She takes a couple of laps to high-five every hand outstretched from the front row, then she mounts a corner turnbuckle and thrusts the Lightweight Championship belt into the air to a final burst of fireworks from the arena ceiling.
Having greatly livened up the crowd, Estrina dismounts into the squared circle and approaches the other woman who would be her host for the next several minutes. Maria greets the Singaporean star with a stiff, formal bow -- a habit she had picked up from her Japanese sensei in Rio de Janeiro -- and Estrina reciprocates in kind, though Starfire is much more demure and graceful in her curtsey. Pleasantries wordlessly exchanged, the pair of wrestlers take their seats and Alves begins the dialogue.
“Welcome, Estrina Starfire. It is a trifling honor to share the ring with a wrestler of such renowned mediocrity.”
The champion’s right eyebrow twitches ever so slightly in annoyance, but she keeps her tone chipper and cheerful when she replies, “Thank you for your hospitality, Maria. It’s long been a dream of mine to --- PFFFFTTT -- ARRGH WHAT THE --?!”
Without warning, Maria reaches into the left sleeve of her gi, pulls out a can of spray-on deodorant, and unleashes a prolonged blast directly into Estrina’s face. Alves seems content to empty the entire canister onto Starfire, but after a few seconds of blind groping, the Celestial Stunner manages to snatch it from her hands and toss it into the third row. Curiously, the Brazilian doesn’t follow up the sudden aerosol assault with anything nefarious, opting instead to calmly remain in her seat with her hands in her lap while her guest sputters and coughs.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” Estrina manages to blurt out between bouts of gagging.
“Your scent is quite overpowering, Estrina Starfire,” Maria blandly states. “It is a stale, acrid musk that burns the nostrils and attracts carrion scavengers.”
Now feeling both self-conscious and indignant, Starfire shoots back, “Look, I get it, I sweat a lot, okay? Now can we just --”
“I once knew someone who perspired profusely,” the judoka interrupts, pausing for a brief moment before adding, “He is dead now.”
Taken aback, the champion absentmindedly murmurs, “He -- he died from sweating?”
“No, he was murdered by drug cartel enforcers,” Alves answers with a nonchalant shrug. “And how dare you bring up such a traumatic memory, you insensitive cur.”
The Celestial Stunner doesn’t know how to respond, so she simply doesn’t. For ten long, awkward seconds, she stares blankly at her host who in turn is still wearing a pleasant, placid smile. Finally, Estrina wisely decides to not pursue this line of conversation, and instead pivots back to talking about her young championship reign.
“I’m pleased to be here as your new Lightweight Champion!” Starfire says to cheers from the audience. “Zoë Scott was a coward and a fraud who hid behind her money and her dumb brute! Her craven tactics cheated not only her challengers, but also the fans! You guys deserve MORE! You guys deserve BETTER!” You guys deserve a fighting champion who not only gives it her all each and every time she sets foot in this ring, but who brings out the best in each and every one of her opponents!”
A jubilant eruption from the crowd indicates that the Singporean star’s words have struck a chord, and soon they anoint her as their chosen champion with a chant of, “ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!”
Meanwhile, Maria gives her guest a halfhearted golf clap and remarks, “Generic, forgettable words from a generic, forgettable woman. Estrina Starfire, there is one question to which everyone wants to know the answer: in what humiliating fashion do you foresee yourself losing your ill-gotten title?”
Her mood immediately dampened, the Celestial Stunner snaps, “Excuse me, what?!”
“Do not play coy, Estrina Starfire,” Maria gently chides. “Surely, you did not think your appeal to these people lies in your meager wrestling abilities? Their desire is to see you fail. Your tawdry defeat is one and the same as their perverse pleasure.”
Rising from her chair and puffing out her chest, Estrina prepares a retort, but it’s one of her fans who speaks up first.
“WE LOVE YOU, ESTRINA! DON’T LISTEN TO HER!” a fan yells from the front row.
“KICK HER ASS, ESTRINA!” adds another.
“LET ME LICK YOUR PITS, ESTRINA!” adds yet another.
Starfire’s features stretch into a smirk, but it seems that Alves has prepared contingencies for such a situation. Without uttering a word, the Brazilian raises a hand and a video begins playing on the FAWNtron’s massive LED screen.
“OOOOOH YES! YEEEEESSS! OH, GOD! DON’T STOP! MORE! MORE! MOOOOORRRRE!”
Every hair on Estrina’s body stands on end and her cheeks flush red when she hears her own orgasmic screams. She doesn’t have to turn around and look at the screen to know that the clip is from her misbegotten match a year ago against Yoona Park. The reigning EurAsian champion at the time had stripped her naked and broken her will with a relentless, irresistible sexual assault en route to a galling defeat that would haunt Starfire for the rest of her days. Even now, just the memory of that moment -- the psychosomatic recall of Yoona’s fingers and tongue deftly teasing the most delicate, erogenous parts of her body -- stirred things in Estrina she’d rather not admit, simultaneously making her blood cold and her loins hot.
Through her tightly clenched teeth, the Celestial Stunner snarls, “Turn. It. Off.”
“You should be proud of this moment, Estrina Starfire,” Maria says, nonplussed by the champion’s anger. “Of all your video segments, this is the one that is most popular on both the Book of Faces and the Instant Gram! It is the pinnacle of your career!”
“TURN IT OFF!” Estrina screeches, finally losing her composure, and with that, she dives forward and tackles her erstwhile host to the canvas.
Unfortunately for Starfire, going to the mat with a black belt judoka quickly proves to be a poor decision. The moment she lands on her back, Alves tightly wraps both of her legs around the other wrestler’s waist, then she grabs Estrina’s right wrist in both hands and twists that arm backwards into a crippling Kimura Lock.
KIMURA LOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pPxepbEsrQ
Starfire screams at the top of her lungs, both from the pain in her shoulder and from the frustration at having taken Maria’s bait. She wildly thrashes her free limbs in an effort to get loose, and when that proves futile, her left hand hovers above the mat as if about to tap out. An uproar from her supporters snaps her back to reality, however, and the Singaporean star realizes that such a gesture would be useless. Instead, she pounds her fist into the deck and then bites down on her forearm to suppress her screams, determined not to give Alves the satisfaction.
Rather unexpectedly, the referees are quick to the champion’s aid.
Or at least, one particular referee is.
REGINALD ASHLEY WORTHINGTON III
Whether it’s a desire to impress as the newest member of FAWN’s referee team or a deep, fundamental belief in Truth and Justice, Reginald Ashley Worthington, third of his name, comes racing to the rescue. He slides into the ring and tears open his zip-up hoodie to reveal his zebra-striped referee shirt underneath, ready to apply the jaws of life in order to pry Estrina from the judoka’s clutches. To his surprise, Maria voluntarily relinquishes the Kimura Lock, then she gets to her feet and greets him with the same stiff bow that she uses to greet everyone.
For the moment, however, it’s the grimacing Singaporean who has Reginald’s undivided attention. He rushes to Starfire’s side, meticulously checking for broken bones or dislocated joints, and when he finds none, Worthington helps her upright and gets her to the relative safety of the far corner. He sighs in exasperation as he turns about to reprimand the Brazilian wrestler, but he can’t even get a word out before Maria reaches into the right sleeve of her gi and pulls out a crumpled stack of papers.
“You are exactly man or woman for whom I am looking, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third!” Alves says with a smile before she raises her microphone to address the fans. “I have more good news! I have seized the proverbial brass ring and secured a title opportunity against Estrina Starfire! Huzzah!”
The entire arena murmurs in confusion, including the champion herself as she cradles her wounded right arm. Meanwhile, Reginald meticulously pores through the papers he’d been handed, his brow furrowing in concentration as his eyes scan each line with laser-like precision. Sure enough, it is a signed and valid contract for the Lightweight Championship directly from the CEO’s office, but soon enough, the official realizes there is something amiss.
“Maria, did you steal this contract from someone else?” he flatly asks, resisting the urge to show his exasperation via a sigh or a roll of his eyes.
“I most certainly did not, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third!” Maria huffs. “How dare you slander a fine and upstanding member of our organization such as myself!”
Worthington narrows his eyes slightly and says, “This contract names the challenger as ‘Juliet Bloodwind.’”
“I do not see how that is a problem, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third.”
Reginald turns around and exchanges a confused glance with Estrina. Then he glances to ringside where the timekeeper and broadcast team are equally baffled. After a few moments of deliberation, he decides to be as straightforward and blunt as possible.
“Your name is ‘Maria Alves’ not ‘Juliet Bloodwind.’”
“Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third, I am Brazilian,” Alves speaks in a deliberate and condescending tone, as if she were addressing a particularly slow dullard. “‘Maria Alves’ is my name in Portugese, and ‘Juliet Bloodwind’ is its translation into English.”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAT,” the FAWNatics boom in response, perfectly echoing Reginald’s thoughts.
“Oh, Reggie, what have you gotten yourself into?” he mutters to himself while squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think, damn it! Think! What would Merle do?”
He’s about to ban Alves from the premises for the night, but before he can speak, the Celestial Stunner chimes in first.
“Let me at her,” Estrina growls, her dark eyes flashing. “‘Maria Alves’ or ‘Juliet Bloodwind,’ that bitch will taste the Pits of Starfire all the same!”
“Your language is as foul as your odor, Estrina Starfire,” the judoka blithely remarks, and Worthington has to grab Starfire by the waist to stop her from charging the other woman right then and there.
“Estrina, stop! You might have a separated shoulder!” the man pleads.
“THAT ASSHOLE’S ABOUT TO HAVE A SEPARATED NECK!” Estrina roars as she bashes her heel into Reginald’s shin, and that distraction is enough to spring her free.
She sprints towards Maria, but instead of a head-first tackle, this time Starfire leads with her boots. Unprepared for the flying Dropkick, Alves catches a pair of rubber soles to her chest, knocking her backwards and through the ring ropes to the floor. Estrina immediately crunches onto her shoulders and kips up to her feet, wincing a bit at the jolt in her right arm, then she hurls herself over the top rope just as Maria is getting upright. Still discombobulated by her initial tumble to the outside, Alves is sent to the ground for the second time by a Diving Crossbody.
DIVING CROSSBODY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L04LRcd-YGo
The fans love it, cheering and screaming at the top of their lungs when Estrina gets some payback. Reginald is less enthused by the turn of events, and he calls for security to bring an end to the mayhem. He is promptly overruled by a voice in his earpiece, however, and a moment later, the same voice commands the timekeeper to ring the bell and make the impromptu brawl into an actual match for the coveted title.
Out on the floor, Starfire has heard the bell too. Visibly favoring her right arm, she drags Alves semi-upright and shoves the faltering judoka into the ring, then she slides in afterwards. The champion pounces across the body of her now official challenger, hoping for a quick three count followed by a trip to the infirmary for treatment on her shoulder.
The referee drops down and counts…
ONE!
TWO!
...before Maria bucks free and rolls away.
Estrina curses under her breath as she regains her footing, vigorously shaking her right arm to get the stiffness out. Maria is slower to rise, and as soon as she gets to her feet, she’s met by a Forearm Smash to the jaw. Stunned by the impact, Alves can’t defend against the Shin Kick to her left thigh and the Spinning Elbow to her temple that quickly follows. Somehow she still remains standing after the flurry of blows, but that’s no problem for Starfire.
Now with her back to her opponent, Estrina launches herself up and back, turning half a somersault in midair before her right boot meets the crown of Maria’s head in a dazzling Pele Kick.
STRIKE COMBO & PELE KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM-uTkt_6IU
Alves crumples in a heap and Starfire quickly scrambles over. The Celestial Stunner doesn’t take her chances with a pin this time, instead choosing to kneel behind her challenger in order to trap Maria’s head underneath her right arm in a Dragon Sleeper.
DRAGON SLEEPER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPkt1faCPXg
Seeing the champion’s signature ‘Pits of Starfire’ brings the FAWNatics to their feet, thousands of cellphones coming out all at once to record the moment for posterity. Their celebration is far too premature, however, and a few seconds later it becomes evident that Starfire’s bad arm is greatly reducing the effectiveness of her submission. Grimacing the entire time as Maria struggles and twists about her grasps, Estrina tries to crank up the pressure on the Dragon Sleeper but for a sharp pang of pain in her shoulder forces her to relinquish the hold entirely. Starfire rolls to the corner to recuperate, at the same time giving Alves a chance to catch a second wind in the middle of the ring.
Reginald starts his count towards a double knockout and the fans chant along, knowing that a disqualification would allow the beloved Singaporean star to retain her title. No such luck though, as Maria clambers upright with a handful of seconds to spare, prompting groans of dismay from the partisan crowd. Estrina is still seated and leaning against the turnbuckle for support, but not for long when Alves seizes her right wrist and harshly yanks her to her feet.
Leading the champion by her injured limb, Alves repositions the two of them in the middle of the ring. Once they’re far away from the safety of the ropes, she deftly spins about and brings Starfire’s arm down across her shoulder. Lest her arm be torn entirely from its socket, the rest of Estrina’s body has no choice but to follow, violently flipping about the fulcrum of the judoka’s shoulder and crashing into the deck.
SEIO-NAGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7fJXv4A4E
Despite taking the brunt of the impact on her spine, Starfire rolls onto her left side and screams bloody murder while clutching her right shoulder. Having regained the advantage with her textbook Seio-Nage throw, Maria pushes the offensive by sitting behind her opponent and wrapping her legs around Estrina’s midriff. A forceful squeeze of her thighs expels the air from Starfire’s lungs, then she loops an arm under each of Estrina’s armpits and clamps down on a Full Nelson.
FULL NELSON BODYSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfeKvm2CQKo
The pain in her tattered shoulder is unbearable, but with the Bodyscissor depriving her of oxygen, the only thing that comes out when Estrina tries to scream is a wheezing rasp. The ever-vigilant referee is quickly kneeling at Starfire’s side and asking her submission, and denied the ability to either say ‘NO’ or shake her head, the champion tightly clenches her fists in defiance.
The symbolic if ineffective show of resistance is enough to get Reginald to back off for the moment, but the Celestial Stunner knows that time is running out on her championship run. Estrina tries and fails to reach the ropes with an extended leg, so instead she firmly plants both feet and bridges upwards. Doing so greatly exacerbates the pressure from the Full Nelson, but it also forces Maria’s shoulders flat against the mat.
“COUNT,” Starfire croaks. “COOOUUUUUUNNNNT.”
Worthington doesn’t need to be told again. He slides to the deck and pounds out…
ONE!
TWO!
THR -- NO!
At the last possible moment, Alves releases the hold and rolls to one side. Not paying any mind to her gasping, groaning opponent for the time being, the judoka stands up, indignantly stomps her bare foot on the canvas, and gets in the official’s face.
“I cannot believe you would enforce such a silly and arbitrary rule! Though you are an admirable physical specimen of a man or woman with an upper lip that can effortlessly grow mustaches and arms that can effortlessly break necks, you are a most abominable referee!” Maria huffs. “Shame on you, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third! Shame on you, and shame on both Reginald Ashley Worthington the First and Reginald Ashley Worthington the Second!”
“Hey, leave my mother out of this, okay?” Reginald protests, but Alves has already turned away after saying her piece.
“My comments regarding your performance shall be quite uncharitable on the Book of Faces!” Maria threatens the official as she hauls Estrina back to the center of the squared circle.
Alves flips the champion onto her stomach, then pins her down by kneeling atop her back. Once more the judoka goes back to working Starfire’s right arm, this time clutching the wrist in both hands and leaning back into a crippling Wakigatame Armbar.
WAKIGATAME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWjwGk_K_6M
Estrina howls in misery, a spine-chilling sound that could raise the dead, but still she does not surrender. In response Maria leans back further, increasing both the pressure of the hold and the volume of Starfire’s screams. Estrina’s elbow and shoulder are bent in gruesome, impossible angles, but just when it seems like her bones might shatter, her sweat-slicked arm slips out of Maria’s hands.
Suddenly left holding nothing and thrown off balance, Alves falls backwards onto the mat and allows Starfire to scramble out from underneath her. In the blink of an eye, the champion is pressing down atop her raised haunches and folding her into a neat Matchbook pin.
For the third time in the match, the official gets down and counts...
ONE!
TWO!
...and Maria bicycles her legs and kicks her way free.
Quite displeased with the way Estrina escaped her armbar, Alves turns to the referee and complains, “My unscrupulous opponent has slathered herself in swine grease to gain an advantage! I demand --”
Whatever the bewildering Brazilian’s demands, they’re lost to time when Estrina blindsides her with a Busaiku Knee Kick out of left field.
STARSTRUCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekcc91yp7Q0
The impact of knee against temple sends Maria tumbling backwards head-over-heels. Her limp body comes to a rest at the edge of the ring, her eyes open but unseeing after being Starstruck by the champion. A couple of feet away Estrina struggles to a stand, her right arm hanging completely limp at her side. A glance at the prostrate body of her challenger tells Starfire that a three count would be academic at this point, but after all the indignities heaped upon her, the Celestial Stunner will not be satisfied with a mere victory.
“I THINK I NEED A TOWEL FOR ALL THIS… ‘SWINE GREASE…’” Estrina shouts to the audience as she raises her left arm.
The FAWNatics roar in approval, and Starfire shambles over to the still-unconscious Alves. She kneels down and traps Maria’s upturned head under her left arm, smothering the Brazilian’s lips and nose with the soft, sweaty flesh of her armpit. Denied oxygen, Alves begins to spasmodically twitch and jerk, her movements growing more and more violent and uncontrolled over the first thirty seconds before quickly fading to stillness over the following ten.
Knowing than an armcheck or a count would be unnecessary at this stage, Worthington signals to the timekeeper, and the second ring of the bell formally proclaims that Estrina’s reign would see another sunrise.
“YOUR WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, AND STILL LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION… ESTRINA STAAAAARRRRFIRE!”
Serenaded by chants of ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!, an exhausted Starfire releases the Dragon Sleeper and chuckles with relief as she lays flat on her back. Shortly afterwards, the referee presents her with her golden belt, which she tightly clutches between her left arm and her heaving bosom.
“Under better circumstances, I’d raise your hand,” Reginald says with a rueful laugh. “But in this case I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for ‘Congratulations.’”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!
“I’ll take a raincheck,” Estrina sighs as she stares into the man’s piercing hazel eyes, and after a beat, she adds, “You know… you’d look really cute in glasses.”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!
“No, not my style,” Worthington guffaws. “I’d look like a totally different person!”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!
MARIA ALVES
“Greetings and salutations,” Maria cheerfully addresses the throngs, who as always react with confused murmurs. “I come bearing good news! The clandestine Saudi operatives on my trail have been dispatched, and thus I am free to again appear in public! Huzzah!”
Once more, the FAWNatics can only muster a flat “WHAAAAAAT” in response to the enigmatic Alves. That no one else seems to share her merriment doesn’t dampen her spirit though, and Maria continues speaking unabated.
“For this next installment of MariaTV, I would like to welcome my guest, our Lightweight Champion, the perpetually damp and pungent Estrina Starfire!”
Invoking the name of the Celestial Stunner rouses the audience out of their stupor, and they roar to life with an ear-splitting ovation just as the woman herself appears atop the entrance ramp. Her usual ring gear now adorned by an additional ten pounds of leather and gold, Estrina salutes her fans and points her fingers to the crowd just as the pyrotechnics shower her with sparks and smoke.
ESTRINA STARFIRE
Now a member of FAWN’s gold-wearing elite, Starfire struts down to the ring with an extra pep in her step. She takes a couple of laps to high-five every hand outstretched from the front row, then she mounts a corner turnbuckle and thrusts the Lightweight Championship belt into the air to a final burst of fireworks from the arena ceiling.
Having greatly livened up the crowd, Estrina dismounts into the squared circle and approaches the other woman who would be her host for the next several minutes. Maria greets the Singaporean star with a stiff, formal bow -- a habit she had picked up from her Japanese sensei in Rio de Janeiro -- and Estrina reciprocates in kind, though Starfire is much more demure and graceful in her curtsey. Pleasantries wordlessly exchanged, the pair of wrestlers take their seats and Alves begins the dialogue.
“Welcome, Estrina Starfire. It is a trifling honor to share the ring with a wrestler of such renowned mediocrity.”
The champion’s right eyebrow twitches ever so slightly in annoyance, but she keeps her tone chipper and cheerful when she replies, “Thank you for your hospitality, Maria. It’s long been a dream of mine to --- PFFFFTTT -- ARRGH WHAT THE --?!”
Without warning, Maria reaches into the left sleeve of her gi, pulls out a can of spray-on deodorant, and unleashes a prolonged blast directly into Estrina’s face. Alves seems content to empty the entire canister onto Starfire, but after a few seconds of blind groping, the Celestial Stunner manages to snatch it from her hands and toss it into the third row. Curiously, the Brazilian doesn’t follow up the sudden aerosol assault with anything nefarious, opting instead to calmly remain in her seat with her hands in her lap while her guest sputters and coughs.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” Estrina manages to blurt out between bouts of gagging.
“Your scent is quite overpowering, Estrina Starfire,” Maria blandly states. “It is a stale, acrid musk that burns the nostrils and attracts carrion scavengers.”
Now feeling both self-conscious and indignant, Starfire shoots back, “Look, I get it, I sweat a lot, okay? Now can we just --”
“I once knew someone who perspired profusely,” the judoka interrupts, pausing for a brief moment before adding, “He is dead now.”
Taken aback, the champion absentmindedly murmurs, “He -- he died from sweating?”
“No, he was murdered by drug cartel enforcers,” Alves answers with a nonchalant shrug. “And how dare you bring up such a traumatic memory, you insensitive cur.”
The Celestial Stunner doesn’t know how to respond, so she simply doesn’t. For ten long, awkward seconds, she stares blankly at her host who in turn is still wearing a pleasant, placid smile. Finally, Estrina wisely decides to not pursue this line of conversation, and instead pivots back to talking about her young championship reign.
“I’m pleased to be here as your new Lightweight Champion!” Starfire says to cheers from the audience. “Zoë Scott was a coward and a fraud who hid behind her money and her dumb brute! Her craven tactics cheated not only her challengers, but also the fans! You guys deserve MORE! You guys deserve BETTER!” You guys deserve a fighting champion who not only gives it her all each and every time she sets foot in this ring, but who brings out the best in each and every one of her opponents!”
A jubilant eruption from the crowd indicates that the Singporean star’s words have struck a chord, and soon they anoint her as their chosen champion with a chant of, “ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!”
Meanwhile, Maria gives her guest a halfhearted golf clap and remarks, “Generic, forgettable words from a generic, forgettable woman. Estrina Starfire, there is one question to which everyone wants to know the answer: in what humiliating fashion do you foresee yourself losing your ill-gotten title?”
Her mood immediately dampened, the Celestial Stunner snaps, “Excuse me, what?!”
“Do not play coy, Estrina Starfire,” Maria gently chides. “Surely, you did not think your appeal to these people lies in your meager wrestling abilities? Their desire is to see you fail. Your tawdry defeat is one and the same as their perverse pleasure.”
Rising from her chair and puffing out her chest, Estrina prepares a retort, but it’s one of her fans who speaks up first.
“WE LOVE YOU, ESTRINA! DON’T LISTEN TO HER!” a fan yells from the front row.
“KICK HER ASS, ESTRINA!” adds another.
“LET ME LICK YOUR PITS, ESTRINA!” adds yet another.
Starfire’s features stretch into a smirk, but it seems that Alves has prepared contingencies for such a situation. Without uttering a word, the Brazilian raises a hand and a video begins playing on the FAWNtron’s massive LED screen.
“OOOOOH YES! YEEEEESSS! OH, GOD! DON’T STOP! MORE! MORE! MOOOOORRRRE!”
Every hair on Estrina’s body stands on end and her cheeks flush red when she hears her own orgasmic screams. She doesn’t have to turn around and look at the screen to know that the clip is from her misbegotten match a year ago against Yoona Park. The reigning EurAsian champion at the time had stripped her naked and broken her will with a relentless, irresistible sexual assault en route to a galling defeat that would haunt Starfire for the rest of her days. Even now, just the memory of that moment -- the psychosomatic recall of Yoona’s fingers and tongue deftly teasing the most delicate, erogenous parts of her body -- stirred things in Estrina she’d rather not admit, simultaneously making her blood cold and her loins hot.
Through her tightly clenched teeth, the Celestial Stunner snarls, “Turn. It. Off.”
“You should be proud of this moment, Estrina Starfire,” Maria says, nonplussed by the champion’s anger. “Of all your video segments, this is the one that is most popular on both the Book of Faces and the Instant Gram! It is the pinnacle of your career!”
“TURN IT OFF!” Estrina screeches, finally losing her composure, and with that, she dives forward and tackles her erstwhile host to the canvas.
Unfortunately for Starfire, going to the mat with a black belt judoka quickly proves to be a poor decision. The moment she lands on her back, Alves tightly wraps both of her legs around the other wrestler’s waist, then she grabs Estrina’s right wrist in both hands and twists that arm backwards into a crippling Kimura Lock.
KIMURA LOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pPxepbEsrQ
Starfire screams at the top of her lungs, both from the pain in her shoulder and from the frustration at having taken Maria’s bait. She wildly thrashes her free limbs in an effort to get loose, and when that proves futile, her left hand hovers above the mat as if about to tap out. An uproar from her supporters snaps her back to reality, however, and the Singaporean star realizes that such a gesture would be useless. Instead, she pounds her fist into the deck and then bites down on her forearm to suppress her screams, determined not to give Alves the satisfaction.
Rather unexpectedly, the referees are quick to the champion’s aid.
Or at least, one particular referee is.
REGINALD ASHLEY WORTHINGTON III
Whether it’s a desire to impress as the newest member of FAWN’s referee team or a deep, fundamental belief in Truth and Justice, Reginald Ashley Worthington, third of his name, comes racing to the rescue. He slides into the ring and tears open his zip-up hoodie to reveal his zebra-striped referee shirt underneath, ready to apply the jaws of life in order to pry Estrina from the judoka’s clutches. To his surprise, Maria voluntarily relinquishes the Kimura Lock, then she gets to her feet and greets him with the same stiff bow that she uses to greet everyone.
For the moment, however, it’s the grimacing Singaporean who has Reginald’s undivided attention. He rushes to Starfire’s side, meticulously checking for broken bones or dislocated joints, and when he finds none, Worthington helps her upright and gets her to the relative safety of the far corner. He sighs in exasperation as he turns about to reprimand the Brazilian wrestler, but he can’t even get a word out before Maria reaches into the right sleeve of her gi and pulls out a crumpled stack of papers.
“You are exactly man or woman for whom I am looking, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third!” Alves says with a smile before she raises her microphone to address the fans. “I have more good news! I have seized the proverbial brass ring and secured a title opportunity against Estrina Starfire! Huzzah!”
The entire arena murmurs in confusion, including the champion herself as she cradles her wounded right arm. Meanwhile, Reginald meticulously pores through the papers he’d been handed, his brow furrowing in concentration as his eyes scan each line with laser-like precision. Sure enough, it is a signed and valid contract for the Lightweight Championship directly from the CEO’s office, but soon enough, the official realizes there is something amiss.
“Maria, did you steal this contract from someone else?” he flatly asks, resisting the urge to show his exasperation via a sigh or a roll of his eyes.
“I most certainly did not, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third!” Maria huffs. “How dare you slander a fine and upstanding member of our organization such as myself!”
Worthington narrows his eyes slightly and says, “This contract names the challenger as ‘Juliet Bloodwind.’”
“I do not see how that is a problem, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third.”
Reginald turns around and exchanges a confused glance with Estrina. Then he glances to ringside where the timekeeper and broadcast team are equally baffled. After a few moments of deliberation, he decides to be as straightforward and blunt as possible.
“Your name is ‘Maria Alves’ not ‘Juliet Bloodwind.’”
“Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third, I am Brazilian,” Alves speaks in a deliberate and condescending tone, as if she were addressing a particularly slow dullard. “‘Maria Alves’ is my name in Portugese, and ‘Juliet Bloodwind’ is its translation into English.”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAT,” the FAWNatics boom in response, perfectly echoing Reginald’s thoughts.
“Oh, Reggie, what have you gotten yourself into?” he mutters to himself while squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think, damn it! Think! What would Merle do?”
He’s about to ban Alves from the premises for the night, but before he can speak, the Celestial Stunner chimes in first.
“Let me at her,” Estrina growls, her dark eyes flashing. “‘Maria Alves’ or ‘Juliet Bloodwind,’ that bitch will taste the Pits of Starfire all the same!”
“Your language is as foul as your odor, Estrina Starfire,” the judoka blithely remarks, and Worthington has to grab Starfire by the waist to stop her from charging the other woman right then and there.
“Estrina, stop! You might have a separated shoulder!” the man pleads.
“THAT ASSHOLE’S ABOUT TO HAVE A SEPARATED NECK!” Estrina roars as she bashes her heel into Reginald’s shin, and that distraction is enough to spring her free.
She sprints towards Maria, but instead of a head-first tackle, this time Starfire leads with her boots. Unprepared for the flying Dropkick, Alves catches a pair of rubber soles to her chest, knocking her backwards and through the ring ropes to the floor. Estrina immediately crunches onto her shoulders and kips up to her feet, wincing a bit at the jolt in her right arm, then she hurls herself over the top rope just as Maria is getting upright. Still discombobulated by her initial tumble to the outside, Alves is sent to the ground for the second time by a Diving Crossbody.
DIVING CROSSBODY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L04LRcd-YGo
The fans love it, cheering and screaming at the top of their lungs when Estrina gets some payback. Reginald is less enthused by the turn of events, and he calls for security to bring an end to the mayhem. He is promptly overruled by a voice in his earpiece, however, and a moment later, the same voice commands the timekeeper to ring the bell and make the impromptu brawl into an actual match for the coveted title.
Out on the floor, Starfire has heard the bell too. Visibly favoring her right arm, she drags Alves semi-upright and shoves the faltering judoka into the ring, then she slides in afterwards. The champion pounces across the body of her now official challenger, hoping for a quick three count followed by a trip to the infirmary for treatment on her shoulder.
The referee drops down and counts…
ONE!
TWO!
...before Maria bucks free and rolls away.
Estrina curses under her breath as she regains her footing, vigorously shaking her right arm to get the stiffness out. Maria is slower to rise, and as soon as she gets to her feet, she’s met by a Forearm Smash to the jaw. Stunned by the impact, Alves can’t defend against the Shin Kick to her left thigh and the Spinning Elbow to her temple that quickly follows. Somehow she still remains standing after the flurry of blows, but that’s no problem for Starfire.
Now with her back to her opponent, Estrina launches herself up and back, turning half a somersault in midair before her right boot meets the crown of Maria’s head in a dazzling Pele Kick.
STRIKE COMBO & PELE KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM-uTkt_6IU
Alves crumples in a heap and Starfire quickly scrambles over. The Celestial Stunner doesn’t take her chances with a pin this time, instead choosing to kneel behind her challenger in order to trap Maria’s head underneath her right arm in a Dragon Sleeper.
DRAGON SLEEPER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPkt1faCPXg
Seeing the champion’s signature ‘Pits of Starfire’ brings the FAWNatics to their feet, thousands of cellphones coming out all at once to record the moment for posterity. Their celebration is far too premature, however, and a few seconds later it becomes evident that Starfire’s bad arm is greatly reducing the effectiveness of her submission. Grimacing the entire time as Maria struggles and twists about her grasps, Estrina tries to crank up the pressure on the Dragon Sleeper but for a sharp pang of pain in her shoulder forces her to relinquish the hold entirely. Starfire rolls to the corner to recuperate, at the same time giving Alves a chance to catch a second wind in the middle of the ring.
Reginald starts his count towards a double knockout and the fans chant along, knowing that a disqualification would allow the beloved Singaporean star to retain her title. No such luck though, as Maria clambers upright with a handful of seconds to spare, prompting groans of dismay from the partisan crowd. Estrina is still seated and leaning against the turnbuckle for support, but not for long when Alves seizes her right wrist and harshly yanks her to her feet.
Leading the champion by her injured limb, Alves repositions the two of them in the middle of the ring. Once they’re far away from the safety of the ropes, she deftly spins about and brings Starfire’s arm down across her shoulder. Lest her arm be torn entirely from its socket, the rest of Estrina’s body has no choice but to follow, violently flipping about the fulcrum of the judoka’s shoulder and crashing into the deck.
SEIO-NAGE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7fJXv4A4E
Despite taking the brunt of the impact on her spine, Starfire rolls onto her left side and screams bloody murder while clutching her right shoulder. Having regained the advantage with her textbook Seio-Nage throw, Maria pushes the offensive by sitting behind her opponent and wrapping her legs around Estrina’s midriff. A forceful squeeze of her thighs expels the air from Starfire’s lungs, then she loops an arm under each of Estrina’s armpits and clamps down on a Full Nelson.
FULL NELSON BODYSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfeKvm2CQKo
The pain in her tattered shoulder is unbearable, but with the Bodyscissor depriving her of oxygen, the only thing that comes out when Estrina tries to scream is a wheezing rasp. The ever-vigilant referee is quickly kneeling at Starfire’s side and asking her submission, and denied the ability to either say ‘NO’ or shake her head, the champion tightly clenches her fists in defiance.
The symbolic if ineffective show of resistance is enough to get Reginald to back off for the moment, but the Celestial Stunner knows that time is running out on her championship run. Estrina tries and fails to reach the ropes with an extended leg, so instead she firmly plants both feet and bridges upwards. Doing so greatly exacerbates the pressure from the Full Nelson, but it also forces Maria’s shoulders flat against the mat.
“COUNT,” Starfire croaks. “COOOUUUUUUNNNNT.”
Worthington doesn’t need to be told again. He slides to the deck and pounds out…
ONE!
TWO!
THR -- NO!
At the last possible moment, Alves releases the hold and rolls to one side. Not paying any mind to her gasping, groaning opponent for the time being, the judoka stands up, indignantly stomps her bare foot on the canvas, and gets in the official’s face.
“I cannot believe you would enforce such a silly and arbitrary rule! Though you are an admirable physical specimen of a man or woman with an upper lip that can effortlessly grow mustaches and arms that can effortlessly break necks, you are a most abominable referee!” Maria huffs. “Shame on you, Reginald Ashley Worthington the Third! Shame on you, and shame on both Reginald Ashley Worthington the First and Reginald Ashley Worthington the Second!”
“Hey, leave my mother out of this, okay?” Reginald protests, but Alves has already turned away after saying her piece.
“My comments regarding your performance shall be quite uncharitable on the Book of Faces!” Maria threatens the official as she hauls Estrina back to the center of the squared circle.
Alves flips the champion onto her stomach, then pins her down by kneeling atop her back. Once more the judoka goes back to working Starfire’s right arm, this time clutching the wrist in both hands and leaning back into a crippling Wakigatame Armbar.
WAKIGATAME:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWjwGk_K_6M
Estrina howls in misery, a spine-chilling sound that could raise the dead, but still she does not surrender. In response Maria leans back further, increasing both the pressure of the hold and the volume of Starfire’s screams. Estrina’s elbow and shoulder are bent in gruesome, impossible angles, but just when it seems like her bones might shatter, her sweat-slicked arm slips out of Maria’s hands.
Suddenly left holding nothing and thrown off balance, Alves falls backwards onto the mat and allows Starfire to scramble out from underneath her. In the blink of an eye, the champion is pressing down atop her raised haunches and folding her into a neat Matchbook pin.
For the third time in the match, the official gets down and counts...
ONE!
TWO!
...and Maria bicycles her legs and kicks her way free.
Quite displeased with the way Estrina escaped her armbar, Alves turns to the referee and complains, “My unscrupulous opponent has slathered herself in swine grease to gain an advantage! I demand --”
Whatever the bewildering Brazilian’s demands, they’re lost to time when Estrina blindsides her with a Busaiku Knee Kick out of left field.
STARSTRUCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekcc91yp7Q0
The impact of knee against temple sends Maria tumbling backwards head-over-heels. Her limp body comes to a rest at the edge of the ring, her eyes open but unseeing after being Starstruck by the champion. A couple of feet away Estrina struggles to a stand, her right arm hanging completely limp at her side. A glance at the prostrate body of her challenger tells Starfire that a three count would be academic at this point, but after all the indignities heaped upon her, the Celestial Stunner will not be satisfied with a mere victory.
“I THINK I NEED A TOWEL FOR ALL THIS… ‘SWINE GREASE…’” Estrina shouts to the audience as she raises her left arm.
The FAWNatics roar in approval, and Starfire shambles over to the still-unconscious Alves. She kneels down and traps Maria’s upturned head under her left arm, smothering the Brazilian’s lips and nose with the soft, sweaty flesh of her armpit. Denied oxygen, Alves begins to spasmodically twitch and jerk, her movements growing more and more violent and uncontrolled over the first thirty seconds before quickly fading to stillness over the following ten.
Knowing than an armcheck or a count would be unnecessary at this stage, Worthington signals to the timekeeper, and the second ring of the bell formally proclaims that Estrina’s reign would see another sunrise.
“YOUR WINNER, BY KNOCKOUT, AND STILL LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION… ESTRINA STAAAAARRRRFIRE!”
Serenaded by chants of ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!, an exhausted Starfire releases the Dragon Sleeper and chuckles with relief as she lays flat on her back. Shortly afterwards, the referee presents her with her golden belt, which she tightly clutches between her left arm and her heaving bosom.
“Under better circumstances, I’d raise your hand,” Reginald says with a rueful laugh. “But in this case I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for ‘Congratulations.’”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!
“I’ll take a raincheck,” Estrina sighs as she stares into the man’s piercing hazel eyes, and after a beat, she adds, “You know… you’d look really cute in glasses.”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!
“No, not my style,” Worthington guffaws. “I’d look like a totally different person!”
ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA! ES-TRI-NA!