Post by dsb on Mar 17, 2019 18:06:25 GMT
The unmistakable strains of the one, the only, THE music icon, flowed through the arena sound system, Barbra Streisand's ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade‘. And to a round of appreciative applause, the Queen of Queens, Shawna Sapperstein pushed through the curtain and into view. Though the stylish brunette was a staple on the Tag Scene with her partner Marisa Fuentes, management had offered her a singles contest tonight and Shawna had jumped at the chance. The ivory-skinned Sapperstein swept back her perfectly feathered coiffure and raised her right arm giving the assembled a window-washing wave.
The Announcer spoke up then, playing Shawna down the ramp, as it were. “Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Queens, New York, New York, she stands at five feet five inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and twenty pounds. I give to you SHAWNA SAAAAAPPERSTEIN!"
SHAWNA SAPPERSTEIN:
Shawna started her way down the aisle slapping hands with the fans on either side of the aisle. The short, toned, dark-haired beauty was clad in a tight, red, one-piece outfit cut to appear a cocktail dress with a wide black leather belt and red boots that have the appearance of having a little high-heel to them.
Sapps smiled broadly, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses, her eyes brightening when she sees a banner proclaiming ‘Facing Shawna is a no laughing matter HAW HAW HAW!’ Sapperstein flashed a toothy grin and provides a thumbs up, Shawna clearly appreciating the support during tonight‘s solo effort. Still, she was in no mood to provide one of her signature nasal staccato bursts of laughter, at least until she had her foe in trouble.
The New Yorker circles the ring, drumming up more support, before reaching the ring steps and stepping up to the apron. Slipping through the ropes, Shawna picked out a corner and provides the fans an eyeful as she limbers up for her adversary, those occasional flashes of leg and cleavage no mistake, the brunette loving every second of attention.
Referee Craig Long was finishing his inspection of Shawna’s boots when the speakers kicked into an unfamiliar tune. The more musically inclined among the FAWNatics recognized it as Rival Son’s ‘Do Your Worst’, but that didn’t do anyone a damned bit of good because no one on the roster used it as an anthem.
DO YOUR WORST:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Z9vfgMAgc
Or so they thought.
The mystery came to a swift, unpleasant end thanks to the Announcer. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Foxriver, New York... She stands five feet six inches tall and weighs in this evening at one hundred and thirty pounds. She’s the Viral Vixen, the Tweeting Tyrant… making her return to the FAWN Arena… this is LYYYSSSSSSAAA ZAAAHHHNNN!”
All the curious speculation died in a veritable hurricane of jeers when the curtains parted immediately thereafter as a ravishing brunette strode into view, smart phone already in hand for a trio of perfectly shot selfies. The results were flawless as ever, though Zahn’s delight was tested by the overpowering reek of B.O. and Troll Funk rolling off the crowd. Enduring this duet of miseries simple because she loved trolling an entire building, Lyssa snugged her phone into the elastic pouch strapped around her right bicep and headed down the aisle.
LYSSA ZAHN:
For her first FAWN outing in almost a year, Lyssa wore predominately black spandex: a two piece, the top with thin, pink shoulder straps set at a slight angle, and a pink mesh “plate” over the clavicle, rising into a collar. The bottom rim of this piece and the neckline of the bikini top worked to create almost a heart-shaped ‘cleavage window.’ Matching bottoms (with pink trim), pink wristbands and pads, and black boots completed the look.
Happy to tear each and every one of her detractors a brand spankin’ new asshole, Zahn zigged and zagged several times on her way to the ring just to make sure the crowd knew how little she missed them during her absence. Only turning her attention to the ring once she’d reached the foot of the ramp, the TweetStormTrooper stalked up the steps and jumped over the top rope. Eyes locked on Shawna, she started across the canvas on a sharp diagonal and might’ve started things then and there if Craig hadn’t stepped in her path.
“Miss me, dork?” she asked the referee.
“About as much as I miss root canals.” he replied.
“Trust me, this will be MUCH more fun than you’re expecting.” Zahn smirked. “For me, anyway.”
“Let me see your pads, Lyssa.”
“Kiss my ass, Long.” she turned around and sauntered toward her corner, leaving the official to offer up a quiet prayer to the forces of lawful good.
The bell sounded just as Zahn finished her Instagram story but the returning superstar still took a few seconds to carefully set her phone in the shadow of the bottom buckle. With her tech safely stored she turned her attention to Shawna and shook her head in disgust. “F*ck. I go away for awhile so they welcome me back with a match against the woman with the worst voice in all of FAWN? Autotune, Sapperstein. Invest in it!”
Already close to the center of the ring, Shawna rolled her eyes and beckoned the other brunette to get her ass off the buckles. “Don’t worry honey, you won’t have to listen very long.” the New Yorker teased. “Because I’m going to knock you out just like that!”
She snapped her fingers to emphasize ‘that’.
Zahn shook her head, pushed off the buckles. “Oh yeah, I’ve been gone too long if even a piece of crap like you thinks they can disrespect OOOFFFHH!”
Shawna rushed Lyssa and took to the skies leading with her feet to drive a quick Dropkick into her opponent’s chest! The Tweetstormtrooper hit the deck flat on her back, but popped up at once to swing a Haymaker at Shawna’s fa--NO! Sapperstein dipped beneath the strike and raced for the ropes directly behind the other brunette. Cursing the miss, Lyssa whipped around as Shawna made her return, thus ensuring she got an excellent view of Sapperstein vaulting into the air to ‘smeck’ her legs around Zahn’s neck! The ‘Rana was a thing of beauty, Shawna sweeping through almost two-hundred seventy degrees of rotation to land on one knee while Lyssa was flipped onto her back with a resounding THWHUMP!
RUNNING HURRICANRANA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtXcgKwNNfU
Scowling ferociously as she scrambled to all fours, the Vine Vixen returned to verticality and caught Sapperstein’s wrist as the red-clad battler closed in. A single Kneelift slowed Shawna’s progress to a crawl and gave Lyssa all the time she needed to twist the New Yorker’s arm in a smooth circ-- roars of delight from those assembled when Shawna put her free hand against the mat and flipped through the would-be Arm Wringer to land on her feet! Arms spread wide, Sapperstein locked eyes with Zahn and shouted, “What’s the matter, honey? Did big bad ‘Ronnie Treymane take the best from--”
Lyssa stormed into the breach so Sapperstein lashed out with a Bytch Slap that CRAAACKED off the interloper’s cheek!
SHAWNA SLAPPERSTEIN:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiknW-PWEyM
Turned in a wobbly half circle, Zahn didn’t react when Shawna turned around behind her and threaded both arms around the Social Media Superstar’s biceps. It wasn’t until Sapperstein dropped to her knees and leaned forward to stack Zahn’s shoulders on the canvas that she kicked and fought against the upset in the making.
ONE…
TWO…
Lyssa kicked out simultaneous with ‘TWO’, but rather than return to her feet she barrel rolled toward the edge of the ring and didn’t stop until she’d reached the narrow ledge of the apron. “Keep her back!” Zahn demanded of Craig Long once she’d gained a knee. “And check her hands for Tiger Balm, I know that bytch can’t slap that hard!”
Frowning at the slight, Sapperstein tried to juke around the official, but Craig didn’t allow it. “Why don’t you come back in here and check them yourself, cutie?” Shawna demanded. “Oh, that’s right, you have to change your status to ‘Just got slapped like a little BYTCH in front of the whole world!’”
Lyssa’s eyes narrowed to dark slots. “That’s it, your humiliation’s gonna go vir--”
Shawna got past Craig, charged the ropes and *almost* ate a Zahn Haymaker in the process. Instead she blocked it with a forearm, cuffed the brat’s cheek a second time, then grabbed the top rope and hopped up to flick a kick at the side of Lyssa’s sku--
The Pintrest Pin-Up caught hold of her foe’s ankle, stretched that leg out full length and then dropped off the apron to TWANG Shawna’s crotch against the rubber-coated steel with a sadistic twist on the time-tested Hot Shot! The crowd groaned in sympathy, Lyssa most certainly did not, in fact she looked downright giddy while observing the results of her vindictive handiwork.
“Normally I’d be pissed that I wasn’t able to record that myself.” Zahn smirked when she’d climbed back onto the apron. “Thankfully FAWN has recently upgraded their cameras so the quality won’t be embarrassing when I assemble a montage of me whipping your perky little ass.”
Jaw clenched even tighter than her white-knuckle grip on the top rope, Shawna growled, “That’s some selective editing, honey. Promise me you’ll use at least three different angles for that slaEEERRRRGGGGH!” Lyssa took hold of the rope directly behind her adversary and bounced it up and down for a good five seconds. Sapperstein hunkered over the hateful strand when the ‘ride’ was over, meaning Zahn was free to reenter the squared circle at her leisure.
“Back off, Lyssa.” Craig told his sneering charge. “She’s in the ropes.”
“No shyt moron, I put her there. And because I’m a responsible citizen…” Lyssa strutted over to Shawna, turned her head with a rough slap, then snatched a huge handful of hair and wedged the hobbled brunette’s head under her left arm. Sapperstein didn’t much care for this development and she shoveled several punches into the other New Yorker’s ribs, but the rendezvous with the cable had robbed her shots of their usual snap and what remained wasn’t nearly enough to stop Lyssa from muscling her near leg over to the apron side. From there the laid claim to Shawna’s waistband and backed up until Sapperstein was stretched out parallel to the canvas, her noggin still trapped in Zahn’s Facelock, her ankles hooked precariously against the top rope. The capacity crowd murmured nervously, a sound that widened Lyssa’s smile a great deal. “What, you don’t really think I’d do something untoward, do--”
The Tweeting Tyrant kicked her left leg out behind, then snapped it forward and laid out to THWONK the crown of Sapperstein’s skull into the deck with a huge DDT! Shawna landed in a sort of upside down Matchbook, her butt pointed straight to the rafters until Zahn shoved her onto her back and pressed both hands to chest and tummy, an arrogant cover good for the…
ROPE HUNG DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luAgtgcUFfk
ONE…
TWO…
Sapperstein twisted to one side immediately after ‘TWO!’ This didn’t seem to bother Lyssa in the slightest, she simply clamped a Wristlock on Shawna’s left wrist and used it to haul the wobbly brunette to her feet in stages. “I don’t appreciate you punking out my offense with your wanna-be London flips.” Zahn explained once she’d torqued Sapperstein’s shoulder and elbow with a textbook Arm Wringer. “In fact I don’t really appreciate you at all. So if you could do me a favor and suffer in silence, that‘d be great.”
Zahn spun through a second Arm Wringer, the force of which flipped Sapperstein onto her back. Still holding the brunette’s wrist, Lyssa somersaulted over her opponent’s body and popped to her feet which in turn dragged Shawna to one knee. She sprang off her back (left) foot and THWHACKED a vicious Bicycle Kick off the side of Sapperstein’s face!
BICYCLE KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmliOH55t1o
Snorting as the FAWNatics ‘OOOOOOH’ed over the impact, Lyssa raked a hand through her hair, then ‘framed’ the red-clad battler between her fingers to see if it was worthy of capturing on her phone. Apparently it was not, because Zahn helped herself to another handful of hair and scraped Shawna off the canvas without even glancing toward her corner. “That was a nice little showcase you had earlier, bytch. Now it’s time for you to get posterized.” Switching over to another Wristlock, Zahn stepped back, dropped her hips and sent Sapperstein into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Shawna bounced in and returned with no hassle whatsoever until Lyssa caught her beneath the armpits and launched her straight into the air. Arms windmilling wildly, Shawna was so focused on keeping her balance that she didn’t even think to defend against the Headbutt that Lyssa THWHACKED against her sternum!
POP-UP HEADBUTT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3sFAujpRyM
Sapperstein’s legs quavered something fierce, but she didn’t bend a knee, not even when Zahn helped herself to a double handful of hair and forced her fellow New Yorker into a Standing Headscissors. Uncharacteristically quiet now that she’d found her groove, the Vine Vixen wrapped her arms around Shawna’s waist and easily lifted / flipped her into a seat atop her shoulders. The crowd drew its collective breath as it always did when a Powerbomb drew near, then let it out in a loud ‘OOOHHH!’ that still wasn’t nearly enough to cover the THAWHAM of Sapperstein coming down on the back of her head and shoulders. Shawna’s ankles flew to somewhere just north of her ears on impact, though they would’ve returned to a more natural arrangement if Zahn hadn’t braced splayed hands against the back of her rival’s thighs. In the same instant she threaded her calves over those upturned haunches to plant her feet on either side of Sapperstein’s noggin, then hoisted her butt of the mat by a good eight inches to make sure her burden remained glued in place through the…
SIT-OUT ZAHN BOMB @ 10:01
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZDoOdFB5-o
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Shawna jolted hard right with half a second to spare. Lyssa spun to one knee, raked a hand through her hair and cast a cool glance at Craig Long. “Ya know Craig, I’d noticed that your overall score on Rate-A-Ref finally crested a seven less than a month after I went on hiatus.”
“It helps when someone isn’t around to give me a malicious two and a half every time they get a near fall.” the official replied dryly.
“Improve the pace of your count and that score will improve substantially.” Zahn countered before burying her a hand in the other brunette’s hair.
Patently ignoring Long’s warning about the ensuing tug, Lyssa dropped to a seat behind Shawna and neatly secured her legs around opposing waist in a tight Figure Four. With her right shin tugged into the pit of her left knee, Zahn rolled left and scuffed her right forearm along Sapperstein’s face. It was more disorienting than painful, as the Pintrest Pin-Up repeated the tactic several times, Lyssa switching arms with each new shift to make sure Shawna felt dizzied and disrespected in equal measure. Ending the back n’ forth after almost thirty seconds, Zahn wedged a hand against the back of Shawna’s skull and pushed, forcing the red-clad battler’s chin into the top of her décolletage just so had free reign to THWHAP Forearm Smashes into the nape of her neck!
BODYSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ9oPWaa-1k
“Defend yourself, asshole!” Zahn demanded of the groaning, struggling grappler. “To borrow a line from another famous New Yorker, you’re fighting like a Jersey.” she emphasized her disdain for that particular locale by mussing Sapperstein’s dark locks in particularly derisive fashion.
Shawna growled and scraped her nails along Lyssa’s clenched thighs, but those pink welts weren’t nearly enough to break the Bodyscissors. Angered by what she considered halfhearted resistance, Zahn countered by raaaaaaaaaking her own talons down Shawna’s upper-back. “Come on! I came here looking for a fight, don’t tell me you’re all used WHOOAAH!”
Sapperstein grabbed hold of her attacker’s kneepads, planted her heels against the canvas and backed up as fast as she could. Doing so stacked Lyssa on her shoulders in a makeshift pinning predicament good for…
ONE…
TWO…
Zahn undid the Scissors and shoved Shawna away with a full second between herself and ‘THREE!’ Yet it was still far too close a call for Lyssa’s liking, which perfectly explained the additional rancor in her stride when she snatched hold of Sapperstein’s hair and led her to the edge of the ring on all fours. Forcing Shawna’s throat against the second strand, Zahn planted a knee across the penitent lovely’s shoulders and lifted her other foot so that every bit of her hundred and thirty so pounds was bearing down on Sapperstein’s back!
Craig didn’t waste his breath on a warning, he merely strode over to his charges and barked out a count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Lyssa hopped down from her perch with both hands raised, though she didn’t insult the zebra’s intelligence by proclaiming her innocence. Rather she teased him with a snide little smirk en route to taking up residence on the other side of the rubber-coated steel. Grabbing a handful of that red one-piece so the ref couldn’t whine about a hair-pull, Zahn tugged Shawna up and about halfway out, so that her tummy was draped over the middle strand. “Since you refuse to make this interesting it looks like I’ll have to find my own amusements.” Lyssa muttered as she turned in place on the narrow ledge. “And I can already tell you’re not going to like the sort of games I play.”
That threat was still fresh in the air when the TweetStormTrooper THUMPED a Kneelift into the brunette’s undefended chest. This was followed by another and yet another, Zahn’s vile Kneecoplasty earning a call from the crowd whether they liked it or not. ‘THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!’
KNEECOPLASTY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=79biZSHJOTk
Lyssa paused, took a step back and lunged forward to drive her last shot into the side of Shawna’s he-NOOOOO! Shawna intercepted Zahn’s leg at the last second and immediately stepped away from the ropes to stretch the limb out full length. Forced to grab the top rope to maintain her balance, Lyssa hopped in place and said, “Oh, did you finally decide to wake up? Good, I’d hate for my fans to think I’d paid some out of work cocktail waitress to jump in the ring with AAAARRRRRHHH F*CK!” Shawna twisted beneath Zahn’s exposed stem and dropped flat on her back to TWANG her tormentor’s tweaked knee against the second strand with a particularly nasty example of the Dragon Screw. Zahn landed hard on her back and may well have fallen all the way to the floor if she hadn’t hooked an arm over the bottom rope before gravity could do its work.
DRAGON SCREW THROUGH ROPES:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRwAG81-CK8
Of course Shawna lent a hand as well, two of them in fact, wrapped tight around the ankle of Lyssa’s tweaked left leg. “Get offa me, bytch!” Lyssa demanded as she tried to anchor herself to the strands. “Dammit Long, get her back! I’m in the ropes!”
“She’s in the ropes, Shawna.” Craig agreed in a deadpan tone that Zahn didn’t much appreciate.”
Sapperstein nodded sympathetically, then stretched out that bronzed stem and STAMPED on the back of her opponent’s thigh. “Oh she is, isn’t she?” Shawna pounded Lyssa’s thigh without missing a beat. “And just how many seconds do I have to play with her stubby little leg?”
“Bytch, you aren’t gonna live long enough to regret this!” Zahn fumed. Then to Long, “And YOU! Your sorry ass is gonna be rated a 4.0 by the time I’m through with NGH! NGH! NGH! NGH!”
Shawna stomped away at Lyssa’s thigh in time with the ref’s count and danged if she didn’t wrest the other brunette free of her sanctuary right at ‘FOUR!’ All smiles as she draaaaaaaaaagged the Social Media Superstar into the middle of the ring, Sapperstein tucked Zahn’s ankle under her armpit, then went up on tiptoe and dropped to her back to jolt her prey’s whole leg with a quick Single Leg DDT!
SINGLE LEG DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyf5Tkuawj0
Lyssa sat up and grasped at her throbbing knee which ensured her hands were elsewhere when Shawna reared back and CRAAACKED her across the cheek with another stiff Slap! The Insta-gator snapped backward, face in her hands, defenses otherwise forgotten even as Shawna tucked that leg under her arm and quickly turned her onto her stomach. Stepping over immediately thereafter, Shawna dropped into a deep crouch, the curve of her glutes hanging scant inches above the small of Lyssa’s back. “Give up, sweetheart!” the Queen of Queens brayed. “Unless you want me to touch your cheap boot to the back of your cheap head!”
SINGLE LEG CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvMVoNrAupM
Lyssa wasn’t about to tap to this mouthy piece of crap, but Sapperstein’s application of the Half Crab was no joke, so after a few awkward attempts at the other brunette’s hair came up empty she planted her hands and puuuusssshed up until her tummy was a few inches off the canvas. This did absolutely no favors for the strain against her back, yet the increase in mobility outweighed the pain and Zahn made for the ropes as quickly as the predicament would allow.
Understanding her foe’s plan as soon as Lyssa began to move, Shawna kept the pressure for several seconds before simply dropping the full weight of her tush against the center of Zahn’s exposed back. Already straining, Lyssa’s arms crumpled and she hit the deck on her tummy and chest. “I said give up!” Sapperstein bounced her backside against the flattened battler, was delighted to hear Zahn groaning into the crook of her own elbow.
“What do you say, Lyssa?” Craig interjected when his charge didn’t immediately reply. “Should I call for the bell?”
Zahn snorted and braced her elbows on the canvas as best she could. “No. You should grab your phone and get a picture of this idiot. They’re gonna need one for the back of the milk carton after I make her disapEEEEEERRRRRGGGGHHHH!”
Shawna abruptly snatched Zahn’s other ankle and curled that whole leg backward to transition into a standard Boston Crab. “You’re gonna wish you’d stayed gone, brat!” the red-clad lovely promised. “But since you didn’t I’m gonna welcome you back with a good old fashioned Walk of Shame!”
The thought of suffering such an indignity at the hands of Shawna freakin’ Sapperstein raised a growl low in the back of Zahn’s throat. Ignoring the ‘TAP!’ chants that’d grown far louder since Shawna doubled up on the Crab, the Tweeting Tyrant dragged their combined weight across the last three feet of canvas and grabbed the bottom rope in one trembling hand. “Break it, asshole.” she demanded. “I said get your fat ass offa NNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!”
Sapperstein did as bade, in fact she tossed Zahn’s legs away without a single wasted motion. Unfortunately this did not bode well for the other New Yorker because Shawna popped to her feet, took up residence on her rival’s left side and hopped straight into the air! Knees tucked snug against her chest, Sapperstein leaned back until she was looking at the lights, meaning she came down with every bit of her hundred and twenty-plus pounds THWHUMPING onto Zahn’s aching spine!
The Senton got Lyssa’s hand off the ropes, thus making it far easier for the Queen of Queens to haul her back to boot-leather. From there she switched over to a Wristlock to power the Irish Whip that sent Zahn racing to the strands on the opposite side of the squared circle. Sapperstein met her in the middle with a lowered shoulder, Double S getting a loud round of applause when she muscled Lyssa into the air in a Fireman’s Carry. “Lyssie’s feeling a little blue because I’m kicking her overrated ass!” Shawna called to the sold out crowd as she wheeled around in a circle. “Don’t you think she could use a little retail therapy?”
The FAWNatics thought this was an excellent idea and they urged Sapperstein to set out on a veritable shopping spree, which in this case entailed the brunette peeling off nearly ten seconds worth of Airplane Spin before slowing to a stop… and then hitting full reverse in the opposite direction! Another ten seconds ticked off the clock before Shawna sprang up and laid out to THAWHUMP Zahn against the mat! The force of it bounced Sapperstein to her knees, not that she wasted any time in twisting around to stretch out across the other brunette’s chest. Hooking the far leg tight, Shawna kept her other hand smooshed against the side of Zahn’s face while Craig and the rest of the crowd counted along for the…
RETAIL THERAPY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM3yMwTOnCo
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lyssa pulled her leg from Sapperstein’s grasp with half a second to spare, her trollish tenacity denying the throng the upset they’d begun to crave.
As for Shawna, she wasn’t disappointed at all. In fact she was grinning from ear to ear as scraped the Vine Vixen off the mat with a palpable sense of urgency. “This is what happens to chicks who treat me like a cupcake.” she noted amidst swinging around behind Zahn. “They get embarrassed and I get to buy a spring wardrobe with the winner’s purse!” Lyssa didn’t respond so Shawna forced her head beneath the brunette’s left arm and cinched a half Waistlock around her waist. With her other hand splayed against the back of the brunette’s right thigh, Sapperstein boosted her up onto one shoulder and held her there long enough for the fans to get a good look. Then it was down to one knee and Zahn bounced off the posted joint, her hands flying to her glutes as she tiptoed toward the nearest cor--
Shawna raced after her, leapt and landed astride the Social Media Superstar’s shoulders. It might’ve been a Victory Roll or perhaps a Poisoned ‘Rana, whatever it was supposed to be, it didn’t go how the Queen of Queens intended because Lyssa wrapped both arms around her attacker’s ankles and bucked hard enough to drape Sapperstein down her back like a cape. Teeth bared as she struggled to maintain control over Shawna’s squirming bulk, Zahn stomped her way to the corner then whipped forward so fast she ended up bent over double. It was far worse for Sapperstein of course, she was whipped through a beautiful half circle that became very ugly when her face BWUUUNGED into the top turnbuckle!
FAIL ARMY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgg6JxeWg08
Shawna’s knees turned to water and she crumpled in the corner, both arms draped over the middle rope as she tried to blink some sense back into her-- Zahn plunged a hand into her hair and dragged Shawna away from the relative ‘safety’ of the buckles out into the vast wasteland of center ring! Welcoming the stunned battler with a Front Facelock, Lyssa tossed the near arm across her shoulders and caught a handful of those gleaming red togs. One cheeky tug later and Lyssa had her upside down, the toes of Shawna’s boots pointed at the rafters for-- the Insta-gator dropped into a duplicitous penance, Lyssa just THWUNKING the back of Sapperstein’s neck into the point of her knee!
KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqbYClXcWao
Bounced to a slumped seat after she was forced to Kneel Before Zahn, Shawna offered minimal protest when the TweetStormTrooper clamped down on the scuff of her neck.
Peeling Sapperstein off the mat in stages, Lyssa tagged a brisk slap to her cheek just because she could, then dipped low and pulled the brunette onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. Wheeling to face the camera, Lyssa taunted, “Go ahead and drop a like, idiots. I know you want to.” Zahn bent her knees and shoved Shawna’s legs high into the air, then twisted into the freefalling brunette so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Sapperstein down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8J2HF5BL3U
The end of the Meme Generator left Lyssa stretched over Shawna’s chest in a perfect Crossbody, but rather than take it the Vine Vixen got up and swung a leg over to sit all her weight on Sapperstein’s rack. Hands on her hips for an arrogantly nonchalant cover, the tawny brunette just soaking up her return to the spotlight as the ref counted off…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
The bell sounded and Lyssa bounced up, not to let Craig raise her hand, but to retrieve her phone from its place in her corner. “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
“No shyt.” Zahn muttered as she fiddled with the lighting. Once satisfied, she planted a boot on Shawna’s chest and raised the gadget high to take the first of many post-victory selfies. “I’m back, bytches.” Lyssa smirked once she’d added Shawna’s ‘portrait’ to the Wall of Shame. “Hashtag, just the beginning.”
The Announcer spoke up then, playing Shawna down the ramp, as it were. “Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first, hailing from Queens, New York, New York, she stands at five feet five inches tall and weighs in tonight at one hundred and twenty pounds. I give to you SHAWNA SAAAAAPPERSTEIN!"
SHAWNA SAPPERSTEIN:
Shawna started her way down the aisle slapping hands with the fans on either side of the aisle. The short, toned, dark-haired beauty was clad in a tight, red, one-piece outfit cut to appear a cocktail dress with a wide black leather belt and red boots that have the appearance of having a little high-heel to them.
Sapps smiled broadly, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses, her eyes brightening when she sees a banner proclaiming ‘Facing Shawna is a no laughing matter HAW HAW HAW!’ Sapperstein flashed a toothy grin and provides a thumbs up, Shawna clearly appreciating the support during tonight‘s solo effort. Still, she was in no mood to provide one of her signature nasal staccato bursts of laughter, at least until she had her foe in trouble.
The New Yorker circles the ring, drumming up more support, before reaching the ring steps and stepping up to the apron. Slipping through the ropes, Shawna picked out a corner and provides the fans an eyeful as she limbers up for her adversary, those occasional flashes of leg and cleavage no mistake, the brunette loving every second of attention.
Referee Craig Long was finishing his inspection of Shawna’s boots when the speakers kicked into an unfamiliar tune. The more musically inclined among the FAWNatics recognized it as Rival Son’s ‘Do Your Worst’, but that didn’t do anyone a damned bit of good because no one on the roster used it as an anthem.
DO YOUR WORST:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Z9vfgMAgc
Or so they thought.
The mystery came to a swift, unpleasant end thanks to the Announcer. “And introducing her opponent, hailing from Foxriver, New York... She stands five feet six inches tall and weighs in this evening at one hundred and thirty pounds. She’s the Viral Vixen, the Tweeting Tyrant… making her return to the FAWN Arena… this is LYYYSSSSSSAAA ZAAAHHHNNN!”
All the curious speculation died in a veritable hurricane of jeers when the curtains parted immediately thereafter as a ravishing brunette strode into view, smart phone already in hand for a trio of perfectly shot selfies. The results were flawless as ever, though Zahn’s delight was tested by the overpowering reek of B.O. and Troll Funk rolling off the crowd. Enduring this duet of miseries simple because she loved trolling an entire building, Lyssa snugged her phone into the elastic pouch strapped around her right bicep and headed down the aisle.
LYSSA ZAHN:
For her first FAWN outing in almost a year, Lyssa wore predominately black spandex: a two piece, the top with thin, pink shoulder straps set at a slight angle, and a pink mesh “plate” over the clavicle, rising into a collar. The bottom rim of this piece and the neckline of the bikini top worked to create almost a heart-shaped ‘cleavage window.’ Matching bottoms (with pink trim), pink wristbands and pads, and black boots completed the look.
Happy to tear each and every one of her detractors a brand spankin’ new asshole, Zahn zigged and zagged several times on her way to the ring just to make sure the crowd knew how little she missed them during her absence. Only turning her attention to the ring once she’d reached the foot of the ramp, the TweetStormTrooper stalked up the steps and jumped over the top rope. Eyes locked on Shawna, she started across the canvas on a sharp diagonal and might’ve started things then and there if Craig hadn’t stepped in her path.
“Miss me, dork?” she asked the referee.
“About as much as I miss root canals.” he replied.
“Trust me, this will be MUCH more fun than you’re expecting.” Zahn smirked. “For me, anyway.”
“Let me see your pads, Lyssa.”
“Kiss my ass, Long.” she turned around and sauntered toward her corner, leaving the official to offer up a quiet prayer to the forces of lawful good.
The bell sounded just as Zahn finished her Instagram story but the returning superstar still took a few seconds to carefully set her phone in the shadow of the bottom buckle. With her tech safely stored she turned her attention to Shawna and shook her head in disgust. “F*ck. I go away for awhile so they welcome me back with a match against the woman with the worst voice in all of FAWN? Autotune, Sapperstein. Invest in it!”
Already close to the center of the ring, Shawna rolled her eyes and beckoned the other brunette to get her ass off the buckles. “Don’t worry honey, you won’t have to listen very long.” the New Yorker teased. “Because I’m going to knock you out just like that!”
She snapped her fingers to emphasize ‘that’.
Zahn shook her head, pushed off the buckles. “Oh yeah, I’ve been gone too long if even a piece of crap like you thinks they can disrespect OOOFFFHH!”
Shawna rushed Lyssa and took to the skies leading with her feet to drive a quick Dropkick into her opponent’s chest! The Tweetstormtrooper hit the deck flat on her back, but popped up at once to swing a Haymaker at Shawna’s fa--NO! Sapperstein dipped beneath the strike and raced for the ropes directly behind the other brunette. Cursing the miss, Lyssa whipped around as Shawna made her return, thus ensuring she got an excellent view of Sapperstein vaulting into the air to ‘smeck’ her legs around Zahn’s neck! The ‘Rana was a thing of beauty, Shawna sweeping through almost two-hundred seventy degrees of rotation to land on one knee while Lyssa was flipped onto her back with a resounding THWHUMP!
RUNNING HURRICANRANA:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtXcgKwNNfU
Scowling ferociously as she scrambled to all fours, the Vine Vixen returned to verticality and caught Sapperstein’s wrist as the red-clad battler closed in. A single Kneelift slowed Shawna’s progress to a crawl and gave Lyssa all the time she needed to twist the New Yorker’s arm in a smooth circ-- roars of delight from those assembled when Shawna put her free hand against the mat and flipped through the would-be Arm Wringer to land on her feet! Arms spread wide, Sapperstein locked eyes with Zahn and shouted, “What’s the matter, honey? Did big bad ‘Ronnie Treymane take the best from--”
Lyssa stormed into the breach so Sapperstein lashed out with a Bytch Slap that CRAAACKED off the interloper’s cheek!
SHAWNA SLAPPERSTEIN:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiknW-PWEyM
Turned in a wobbly half circle, Zahn didn’t react when Shawna turned around behind her and threaded both arms around the Social Media Superstar’s biceps. It wasn’t until Sapperstein dropped to her knees and leaned forward to stack Zahn’s shoulders on the canvas that she kicked and fought against the upset in the making.
ONE…
TWO…
Lyssa kicked out simultaneous with ‘TWO’, but rather than return to her feet she barrel rolled toward the edge of the ring and didn’t stop until she’d reached the narrow ledge of the apron. “Keep her back!” Zahn demanded of Craig Long once she’d gained a knee. “And check her hands for Tiger Balm, I know that bytch can’t slap that hard!”
Frowning at the slight, Sapperstein tried to juke around the official, but Craig didn’t allow it. “Why don’t you come back in here and check them yourself, cutie?” Shawna demanded. “Oh, that’s right, you have to change your status to ‘Just got slapped like a little BYTCH in front of the whole world!’”
Lyssa’s eyes narrowed to dark slots. “That’s it, your humiliation’s gonna go vir--”
Shawna got past Craig, charged the ropes and *almost* ate a Zahn Haymaker in the process. Instead she blocked it with a forearm, cuffed the brat’s cheek a second time, then grabbed the top rope and hopped up to flick a kick at the side of Lyssa’s sku--
The Pintrest Pin-Up caught hold of her foe’s ankle, stretched that leg out full length and then dropped off the apron to TWANG Shawna’s crotch against the rubber-coated steel with a sadistic twist on the time-tested Hot Shot! The crowd groaned in sympathy, Lyssa most certainly did not, in fact she looked downright giddy while observing the results of her vindictive handiwork.
“Normally I’d be pissed that I wasn’t able to record that myself.” Zahn smirked when she’d climbed back onto the apron. “Thankfully FAWN has recently upgraded their cameras so the quality won’t be embarrassing when I assemble a montage of me whipping your perky little ass.”
Jaw clenched even tighter than her white-knuckle grip on the top rope, Shawna growled, “That’s some selective editing, honey. Promise me you’ll use at least three different angles for that slaEEERRRRGGGGH!” Lyssa took hold of the rope directly behind her adversary and bounced it up and down for a good five seconds. Sapperstein hunkered over the hateful strand when the ‘ride’ was over, meaning Zahn was free to reenter the squared circle at her leisure.
“Back off, Lyssa.” Craig told his sneering charge. “She’s in the ropes.”
“No shyt moron, I put her there. And because I’m a responsible citizen…” Lyssa strutted over to Shawna, turned her head with a rough slap, then snatched a huge handful of hair and wedged the hobbled brunette’s head under her left arm. Sapperstein didn’t much care for this development and she shoveled several punches into the other New Yorker’s ribs, but the rendezvous with the cable had robbed her shots of their usual snap and what remained wasn’t nearly enough to stop Lyssa from muscling her near leg over to the apron side. From there the laid claim to Shawna’s waistband and backed up until Sapperstein was stretched out parallel to the canvas, her noggin still trapped in Zahn’s Facelock, her ankles hooked precariously against the top rope. The capacity crowd murmured nervously, a sound that widened Lyssa’s smile a great deal. “What, you don’t really think I’d do something untoward, do--”
The Tweeting Tyrant kicked her left leg out behind, then snapped it forward and laid out to THWONK the crown of Sapperstein’s skull into the deck with a huge DDT! Shawna landed in a sort of upside down Matchbook, her butt pointed straight to the rafters until Zahn shoved her onto her back and pressed both hands to chest and tummy, an arrogant cover good for the…
ROPE HUNG DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luAgtgcUFfk
ONE…
TWO…
Sapperstein twisted to one side immediately after ‘TWO!’ This didn’t seem to bother Lyssa in the slightest, she simply clamped a Wristlock on Shawna’s left wrist and used it to haul the wobbly brunette to her feet in stages. “I don’t appreciate you punking out my offense with your wanna-be London flips.” Zahn explained once she’d torqued Sapperstein’s shoulder and elbow with a textbook Arm Wringer. “In fact I don’t really appreciate you at all. So if you could do me a favor and suffer in silence, that‘d be great.”
Zahn spun through a second Arm Wringer, the force of which flipped Sapperstein onto her back. Still holding the brunette’s wrist, Lyssa somersaulted over her opponent’s body and popped to her feet which in turn dragged Shawna to one knee. She sprang off her back (left) foot and THWHACKED a vicious Bicycle Kick off the side of Sapperstein’s face!
BICYCLE KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmliOH55t1o
Snorting as the FAWNatics ‘OOOOOOH’ed over the impact, Lyssa raked a hand through her hair, then ‘framed’ the red-clad battler between her fingers to see if it was worthy of capturing on her phone. Apparently it was not, because Zahn helped herself to another handful of hair and scraped Shawna off the canvas without even glancing toward her corner. “That was a nice little showcase you had earlier, bytch. Now it’s time for you to get posterized.” Switching over to another Wristlock, Zahn stepped back, dropped her hips and sent Sapperstein into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Shawna bounced in and returned with no hassle whatsoever until Lyssa caught her beneath the armpits and launched her straight into the air. Arms windmilling wildly, Shawna was so focused on keeping her balance that she didn’t even think to defend against the Headbutt that Lyssa THWHACKED against her sternum!
POP-UP HEADBUTT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3sFAujpRyM
Sapperstein’s legs quavered something fierce, but she didn’t bend a knee, not even when Zahn helped herself to a double handful of hair and forced her fellow New Yorker into a Standing Headscissors. Uncharacteristically quiet now that she’d found her groove, the Vine Vixen wrapped her arms around Shawna’s waist and easily lifted / flipped her into a seat atop her shoulders. The crowd drew its collective breath as it always did when a Powerbomb drew near, then let it out in a loud ‘OOOHHH!’ that still wasn’t nearly enough to cover the THAWHAM of Sapperstein coming down on the back of her head and shoulders. Shawna’s ankles flew to somewhere just north of her ears on impact, though they would’ve returned to a more natural arrangement if Zahn hadn’t braced splayed hands against the back of her rival’s thighs. In the same instant she threaded her calves over those upturned haunches to plant her feet on either side of Sapperstein’s noggin, then hoisted her butt of the mat by a good eight inches to make sure her burden remained glued in place through the…
SIT-OUT ZAHN BOMB @ 10:01
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZDoOdFB5-o
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Shawna jolted hard right with half a second to spare. Lyssa spun to one knee, raked a hand through her hair and cast a cool glance at Craig Long. “Ya know Craig, I’d noticed that your overall score on Rate-A-Ref finally crested a seven less than a month after I went on hiatus.”
“It helps when someone isn’t around to give me a malicious two and a half every time they get a near fall.” the official replied dryly.
“Improve the pace of your count and that score will improve substantially.” Zahn countered before burying her a hand in the other brunette’s hair.
Patently ignoring Long’s warning about the ensuing tug, Lyssa dropped to a seat behind Shawna and neatly secured her legs around opposing waist in a tight Figure Four. With her right shin tugged into the pit of her left knee, Zahn rolled left and scuffed her right forearm along Sapperstein’s face. It was more disorienting than painful, as the Pintrest Pin-Up repeated the tactic several times, Lyssa switching arms with each new shift to make sure Shawna felt dizzied and disrespected in equal measure. Ending the back n’ forth after almost thirty seconds, Zahn wedged a hand against the back of Shawna’s skull and pushed, forcing the red-clad battler’s chin into the top of her décolletage just so had free reign to THWHAP Forearm Smashes into the nape of her neck!
BODYSCISSORS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ9oPWaa-1k
“Defend yourself, asshole!” Zahn demanded of the groaning, struggling grappler. “To borrow a line from another famous New Yorker, you’re fighting like a Jersey.” she emphasized her disdain for that particular locale by mussing Sapperstein’s dark locks in particularly derisive fashion.
Shawna growled and scraped her nails along Lyssa’s clenched thighs, but those pink welts weren’t nearly enough to break the Bodyscissors. Angered by what she considered halfhearted resistance, Zahn countered by raaaaaaaaaking her own talons down Shawna’s upper-back. “Come on! I came here looking for a fight, don’t tell me you’re all used WHOOAAH!”
Sapperstein grabbed hold of her attacker’s kneepads, planted her heels against the canvas and backed up as fast as she could. Doing so stacked Lyssa on her shoulders in a makeshift pinning predicament good for…
ONE…
TWO…
Zahn undid the Scissors and shoved Shawna away with a full second between herself and ‘THREE!’ Yet it was still far too close a call for Lyssa’s liking, which perfectly explained the additional rancor in her stride when she snatched hold of Sapperstein’s hair and led her to the edge of the ring on all fours. Forcing Shawna’s throat against the second strand, Zahn planted a knee across the penitent lovely’s shoulders and lifted her other foot so that every bit of her hundred and thirty so pounds was bearing down on Sapperstein’s back!
Craig didn’t waste his breath on a warning, he merely strode over to his charges and barked out a count. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”
Lyssa hopped down from her perch with both hands raised, though she didn’t insult the zebra’s intelligence by proclaiming her innocence. Rather she teased him with a snide little smirk en route to taking up residence on the other side of the rubber-coated steel. Grabbing a handful of that red one-piece so the ref couldn’t whine about a hair-pull, Zahn tugged Shawna up and about halfway out, so that her tummy was draped over the middle strand. “Since you refuse to make this interesting it looks like I’ll have to find my own amusements.” Lyssa muttered as she turned in place on the narrow ledge. “And I can already tell you’re not going to like the sort of games I play.”
That threat was still fresh in the air when the TweetStormTrooper THUMPED a Kneelift into the brunette’s undefended chest. This was followed by another and yet another, Zahn’s vile Kneecoplasty earning a call from the crowd whether they liked it or not. ‘THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!’
KNEECOPLASTY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=79biZSHJOTk
Lyssa paused, took a step back and lunged forward to drive her last shot into the side of Shawna’s he-NOOOOO! Shawna intercepted Zahn’s leg at the last second and immediately stepped away from the ropes to stretch the limb out full length. Forced to grab the top rope to maintain her balance, Lyssa hopped in place and said, “Oh, did you finally decide to wake up? Good, I’d hate for my fans to think I’d paid some out of work cocktail waitress to jump in the ring with AAAARRRRRHHH F*CK!” Shawna twisted beneath Zahn’s exposed stem and dropped flat on her back to TWANG her tormentor’s tweaked knee against the second strand with a particularly nasty example of the Dragon Screw. Zahn landed hard on her back and may well have fallen all the way to the floor if she hadn’t hooked an arm over the bottom rope before gravity could do its work.
DRAGON SCREW THROUGH ROPES:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRwAG81-CK8
Of course Shawna lent a hand as well, two of them in fact, wrapped tight around the ankle of Lyssa’s tweaked left leg. “Get offa me, bytch!” Lyssa demanded as she tried to anchor herself to the strands. “Dammit Long, get her back! I’m in the ropes!”
“She’s in the ropes, Shawna.” Craig agreed in a deadpan tone that Zahn didn’t much appreciate.”
Sapperstein nodded sympathetically, then stretched out that bronzed stem and STAMPED on the back of her opponent’s thigh. “Oh she is, isn’t she?” Shawna pounded Lyssa’s thigh without missing a beat. “And just how many seconds do I have to play with her stubby little leg?”
“Bytch, you aren’t gonna live long enough to regret this!” Zahn fumed. Then to Long, “And YOU! Your sorry ass is gonna be rated a 4.0 by the time I’m through with NGH! NGH! NGH! NGH!”
Shawna stomped away at Lyssa’s thigh in time with the ref’s count and danged if she didn’t wrest the other brunette free of her sanctuary right at ‘FOUR!’ All smiles as she draaaaaaaaaagged the Social Media Superstar into the middle of the ring, Sapperstein tucked Zahn’s ankle under her armpit, then went up on tiptoe and dropped to her back to jolt her prey’s whole leg with a quick Single Leg DDT!
SINGLE LEG DDT:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyf5Tkuawj0
Lyssa sat up and grasped at her throbbing knee which ensured her hands were elsewhere when Shawna reared back and CRAAACKED her across the cheek with another stiff Slap! The Insta-gator snapped backward, face in her hands, defenses otherwise forgotten even as Shawna tucked that leg under her arm and quickly turned her onto her stomach. Stepping over immediately thereafter, Shawna dropped into a deep crouch, the curve of her glutes hanging scant inches above the small of Lyssa’s back. “Give up, sweetheart!” the Queen of Queens brayed. “Unless you want me to touch your cheap boot to the back of your cheap head!”
SINGLE LEG CRAB:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvMVoNrAupM
Lyssa wasn’t about to tap to this mouthy piece of crap, but Sapperstein’s application of the Half Crab was no joke, so after a few awkward attempts at the other brunette’s hair came up empty she planted her hands and puuuusssshed up until her tummy was a few inches off the canvas. This did absolutely no favors for the strain against her back, yet the increase in mobility outweighed the pain and Zahn made for the ropes as quickly as the predicament would allow.
Understanding her foe’s plan as soon as Lyssa began to move, Shawna kept the pressure for several seconds before simply dropping the full weight of her tush against the center of Zahn’s exposed back. Already straining, Lyssa’s arms crumpled and she hit the deck on her tummy and chest. “I said give up!” Sapperstein bounced her backside against the flattened battler, was delighted to hear Zahn groaning into the crook of her own elbow.
“What do you say, Lyssa?” Craig interjected when his charge didn’t immediately reply. “Should I call for the bell?”
Zahn snorted and braced her elbows on the canvas as best she could. “No. You should grab your phone and get a picture of this idiot. They’re gonna need one for the back of the milk carton after I make her disapEEEEEERRRRRGGGGHHHH!”
Shawna abruptly snatched Zahn’s other ankle and curled that whole leg backward to transition into a standard Boston Crab. “You’re gonna wish you’d stayed gone, brat!” the red-clad lovely promised. “But since you didn’t I’m gonna welcome you back with a good old fashioned Walk of Shame!”
The thought of suffering such an indignity at the hands of Shawna freakin’ Sapperstein raised a growl low in the back of Zahn’s throat. Ignoring the ‘TAP!’ chants that’d grown far louder since Shawna doubled up on the Crab, the Tweeting Tyrant dragged their combined weight across the last three feet of canvas and grabbed the bottom rope in one trembling hand. “Break it, asshole.” she demanded. “I said get your fat ass offa NNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!”
Sapperstein did as bade, in fact she tossed Zahn’s legs away without a single wasted motion. Unfortunately this did not bode well for the other New Yorker because Shawna popped to her feet, took up residence on her rival’s left side and hopped straight into the air! Knees tucked snug against her chest, Sapperstein leaned back until she was looking at the lights, meaning she came down with every bit of her hundred and twenty-plus pounds THWHUMPING onto Zahn’s aching spine!
The Senton got Lyssa’s hand off the ropes, thus making it far easier for the Queen of Queens to haul her back to boot-leather. From there she switched over to a Wristlock to power the Irish Whip that sent Zahn racing to the strands on the opposite side of the squared circle. Sapperstein met her in the middle with a lowered shoulder, Double S getting a loud round of applause when she muscled Lyssa into the air in a Fireman’s Carry. “Lyssie’s feeling a little blue because I’m kicking her overrated ass!” Shawna called to the sold out crowd as she wheeled around in a circle. “Don’t you think she could use a little retail therapy?”
The FAWNatics thought this was an excellent idea and they urged Sapperstein to set out on a veritable shopping spree, which in this case entailed the brunette peeling off nearly ten seconds worth of Airplane Spin before slowing to a stop… and then hitting full reverse in the opposite direction! Another ten seconds ticked off the clock before Shawna sprang up and laid out to THAWHUMP Zahn against the mat! The force of it bounced Sapperstein to her knees, not that she wasted any time in twisting around to stretch out across the other brunette’s chest. Hooking the far leg tight, Shawna kept her other hand smooshed against the side of Zahn’s face while Craig and the rest of the crowd counted along for the…
RETAIL THERAPY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM3yMwTOnCo
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Lyssa pulled her leg from Sapperstein’s grasp with half a second to spare, her trollish tenacity denying the throng the upset they’d begun to crave.
As for Shawna, she wasn’t disappointed at all. In fact she was grinning from ear to ear as scraped the Vine Vixen off the mat with a palpable sense of urgency. “This is what happens to chicks who treat me like a cupcake.” she noted amidst swinging around behind Zahn. “They get embarrassed and I get to buy a spring wardrobe with the winner’s purse!” Lyssa didn’t respond so Shawna forced her head beneath the brunette’s left arm and cinched a half Waistlock around her waist. With her other hand splayed against the back of the brunette’s right thigh, Sapperstein boosted her up onto one shoulder and held her there long enough for the fans to get a good look. Then it was down to one knee and Zahn bounced off the posted joint, her hands flying to her glutes as she tiptoed toward the nearest cor--
Shawna raced after her, leapt and landed astride the Social Media Superstar’s shoulders. It might’ve been a Victory Roll or perhaps a Poisoned ‘Rana, whatever it was supposed to be, it didn’t go how the Queen of Queens intended because Lyssa wrapped both arms around her attacker’s ankles and bucked hard enough to drape Sapperstein down her back like a cape. Teeth bared as she struggled to maintain control over Shawna’s squirming bulk, Zahn stomped her way to the corner then whipped forward so fast she ended up bent over double. It was far worse for Sapperstein of course, she was whipped through a beautiful half circle that became very ugly when her face BWUUUNGED into the top turnbuckle!
FAIL ARMY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgg6JxeWg08
Shawna’s knees turned to water and she crumpled in the corner, both arms draped over the middle rope as she tried to blink some sense back into her-- Zahn plunged a hand into her hair and dragged Shawna away from the relative ‘safety’ of the buckles out into the vast wasteland of center ring! Welcoming the stunned battler with a Front Facelock, Lyssa tossed the near arm across her shoulders and caught a handful of those gleaming red togs. One cheeky tug later and Lyssa had her upside down, the toes of Shawna’s boots pointed at the rafters for-- the Insta-gator dropped into a duplicitous penance, Lyssa just THWUNKING the back of Sapperstein’s neck into the point of her knee!
KNEEL BEFORE ZAHN:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqbYClXcWao
Bounced to a slumped seat after she was forced to Kneel Before Zahn, Shawna offered minimal protest when the TweetStormTrooper clamped down on the scuff of her neck.
Peeling Sapperstein off the mat in stages, Lyssa tagged a brisk slap to her cheek just because she could, then dipped low and pulled the brunette onto her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. Wheeling to face the camera, Lyssa taunted, “Go ahead and drop a like, idiots. I know you want to.” Zahn bent her knees and shoved Shawna’s legs high into the air, then twisted into the freefalling brunette so they were chest to chest for the split-second before gravity brought Sapperstein down on her back with all of Lyssa’s weight THWHAMMING down atop her chest.
MEME GENERATOR:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8J2HF5BL3U
The end of the Meme Generator left Lyssa stretched over Shawna’s chest in a perfect Crossbody, but rather than take it the Vine Vixen got up and swung a leg over to sit all her weight on Sapperstein’s rack. Hands on her hips for an arrogantly nonchalant cover, the tawny brunette just soaking up her return to the spotlight as the ref counted off…
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
The bell sounded and Lyssa bounced up, not to let Craig raise her hand, but to retrieve her phone from its place in her corner. “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pin-fall… LYSSA ZAHN!”
“No shyt.” Zahn muttered as she fiddled with the lighting. Once satisfied, she planted a boot on Shawna’s chest and raised the gadget high to take the first of many post-victory selfies. “I’m back, bytches.” Lyssa smirked once she’d added Shawna’s ‘portrait’ to the Wall of Shame. “Hashtag, just the beginning.”