Post by dsb on Mar 17, 2019 18:04:16 GMT
With the Tag Championships on the line and the emerging threats to Collusion closing in, the FAWNatics were in a frenzy for the next match. So opposed were they to the colluders being champions-in-chief, they seemed ready to support the gaudy girls of G Street, this becoming particularly apparent when the speakers crackled to life with the catchy and oddly threatening ‘Bubble Gum Bitch’ from Marina and the Diamonds’.
BUBBLE GUM B*TCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1eQLw0Nwto
The crowd’s adrenaline was already pumping when Texas’ answer to the Oil Crisis brought on by the Pit stopper Lenore Lemarchand strode in from stage left. The Terrible Texan moved to center stage, widening her slender but sinewy stems and raising her arms high and wide in a ‘V’.
GABBY MENDOZA:
Gabby swung her ebony locks from one shoulder to the other and languidly turned her head to the direction from which she’d emerged.
It’s then Charlie XCX broke over Mendoza’s music, signaling the approach of the Gorgeous One.
TROPHY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6RalzPNNpc
Joining El Gato del Petroleo, the blonde, second gen superstar stood shoulder to shoulder with her more heralded cohort.
GINNIFER CHADWICK:
Dirty blonde Ginnifer was clad in a white, strapless one piece, the initials “G” and “C” emblazoned at the bust, letterman-style, in neon pink script, the uppermost curve of both letters extending just above the cups. Her pads and boots white as well. The blonde’s gray-green eyes were hidden behind a pair of Lolita shades.
The two hook pinkies and started their walk to the ring, Chadwick aloof, hardly seeming to notice the crowd.
Gabby enjoyed playing with the mob, puckering her lips and blowing trademark bubbles before popping them with her tongue. Between chomps of her pink wad, she sneered at detractors and supporters alike and, for tonight at least, there were a fair number of the latter for the title challengers.
Gabby’s iconic wardrobe was on full display; black lace panties beneath a plaid mini-skirt and a matching black bustier that gave the Latina’s pert bounty a flattering boost. Her tawny legs were encased in thigh high black nylons, adjacent to black pads and boots.
Reaching the ring, they circled in opposite directions, Gin Blossom ignoring those nearby, Gabby jawing with the jackals between chews and pops. Meeting at the far corner, G-Money hopped to the apron and climbed through the ropes on either side of the post.
Moving to the middle, Mendoza dropped to a knee, Gabby standing behind her, softly kneading her partner’s shoulders as the Announcer made their arrival official.
“Our next match is scheduled for one fall with a 30-minute time limit and it is for the FAWN Tag Team Championship! First, the challengers. Hailing from Irving, Texas, standing five feet five inches tall and weighing in at one hundred and twenty-one pounds. the Babyfaced Killer, Gabby Mendoza. AND. From Savannah, Georgia, standing five feet five inches tall and weighing in at a gorgeous one hundred and nineteen pounds, Ginnifer Chadwick. You know. They’re all about that G-THANG!”
Seemingly forgetting who they’re facing, the FAWNatics buried the twosome in a cascade of boos, Mendoza and Chadwick more comfortable with the animosity than the scattering of previous love for the Thang.
Ginnifer scooped her arms under those of the lovely Latina and hauled Gabby to her feet, giving her partner and soon-to-be fellow champion a hug from behind. Melded together in the embrace, they backed to the buckles and waited on the champs.
The arena’s speakers spark to life with the pounding of “America, Fuck Yeah” from Team America World Police, and the crowd is brought to life as with shock therapy.
AMERICA, F*CK YEAH!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8
Blue America’s least favorite little blonde antagonist strode to center stage. Beside her was the woman she’d introduced to the big time and who now stood with her as a champion, Kira Koslova. The Fox&Friendly blonde and her Russian redhead scanned the proletariat, each with a golden championship slung over a shoulder.
KIRA KOSLOVA:
POLLY LOCKWOOD:
The women raised their trophies high and an increasing number of ‘Polly Patriots’ rose in support, the Star Spangled Bytch collecting more of Trump’s base with each successive victory. Still in the minority, the Patriots saluted their leader, her partner and their anthem. The far from silent majority made themselves known in completely different fashion, jeering the obnoxious Trumpeter and her Russian ruffian.
The flaxen-haired hardbody brought a crisp salute to her brow to signal her troops then les the liberal snowflakes know what she thinks of them by fashioning the knife-edge into a salute of the middle finger variety.
The True American was in her own brand of battle fatigues, Polly proudly sporting her customary hot pants and bikini top. Lockwood alternates her country’s colors between a shiny, eye catching blue topside, white stars prominently placed in the appropriate spots; and shimmering red and white-striped spandex below, the space age polymer barely covering her biscuit butt. She finished the ensemble with gleaming white pads and boots.
Lockwood sports her customary cape, Old Glory draped over her shoulders.
She turned and accepted her new partner in a literal Russian Bear Hug. As the crowd’s jeers rose in volume, the duo separated and start down the ramp to defend their titles.
Kira threw off a full length grey fur coat and white wool hat to reveal a simple red one piece, with one unusual aspect — a cutout pattern displaying a portion of Kira’s trim, toned abdomen in the form of a hammer and sickle, Koslova embracing her dictatorial roots even more forcefully than her hero, President Vlad. White pads and boots, the footwear with red hammer-and-sickles, completed the rookie’s attire.
Arm in arm, the international team marched confidently to the ring, Polly occasionally jawing with the fans who’ve watched too much fake news and saluting those with enough common sense to understand she’s the best this country and thus the world had ever produced. Koslova was a picture of former Soviet stoicism, ignoring the hate emanating from the FAWNatics, steering clear of them altogether as she tramped to the squared circle.
Reaching the ring, Lockwood was energized next to her powerful ally, as she informed the challengers that in this country, HER COUNTRY, it’s all about the P-Thing. Polly and patriotism. The Russian led her teammate up the steps as the Announcer made their introduction.
“And their opponents...hailing from Buffalo, New York and St. Petersburg, Russia, respectively, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty pounds…the FAWN tag team champions…Polly Lockwood and Kira Koslova, together they commit COLLUSION!”
Koslova sat on the middle cable and pushed the top upward to make room for her fellow colluder. Polly dove through the opening, landing on her hands and rolling through a somersault, the momentum of which she used to pop to her feet. Kira swung her legs through, climbed off the middle rope and strode to the Pernicious Patriot in less dramatic fashion.
Kira handed a microphone to Polly then relieved Lockwood of her banner/cape, neatly folding the Stars-n-Stripes and placing it in Collusion’s corner.
“You can fool these morons, Mendoza. But not me. You only became a Texan after your mama-sita jumped the wall twenty-some years ago. And Chadwick. Your mama should have headed in the opposite direction after she humiliated herself with her atrocious ring career.”
The reaction from the crowd showed Lockwood would lose a popular vote in a landslide.
“And as bad as a pair of fake Americans as they were, you two are worse. Brainless, talentless bubbleheads. Hell. I bet you’re vegans, too.”
G-Thang shared a snicker, not impressed by Polly’s show.
“Laugh it up, losers,” Lockwood spat. “At the end of this match, you’re kissing my flag then you’re kissing my ass.”
With Koslova back and massaging Polly’s shoulders, Lockwood let the stick tumble from her fingers, hitting the deck with a CLUNK. Collusion backpedaled to their corner, Kira and Polly discussing who’ll lead their assault.
Likely feeling more comfortable than she had heading into the Land of the Giants last month, Polly decided she’d start things out on the champs’ side and, with the tag titles on the line, it’s no surprise the Babyfaced Killer stepped out to meet Lockwood, both women smirking in predatory fashion.
“Are you going to say it?” Gabby asked as they circled around the middle of the ring.
Polly’s face scrunched, essentially asking ‘what the hell are you talking about?’
“You know. We kept you champions at Chills. You’re welcome.”
“Y’know,” Lockwood replied. “When we build that wall I’m going to make sure they put Texas on the side where it belongs.”
A snarling Mendoza closed in and tied up with the little blonde hardbody, Gabby using the leverage of her longer limbs while Polly relied on her compact power to keep the situation a stalemate.
“And Polls,” Gabby grunted. “Don’t let anyone tell you we did it to keep the weaker team champs so we could take the belts. That’s a nasty rumor.”
The Star Spangled Bytch broke free of the locked limbs long enough to lift a pointed knee into Gabby’s tawny-skinned breadbasket, nearly popping the pink wad from her mouth, the Texan barely catching it with her incisors before it ejected completely.
With Gabby bent at the waist, Lockwood lifted a second and third knee, ramming the bony joint into the challenger’s modest chest, Mendoza’s rocked onto her heels until a precise dropkick from Polly dumped La Chica Petroleo on her backside. Lockwood kipped to her feet and beamed at the startled Gabby, Mendoza propping herself on her palms, carefully rising as she made sure the True American was wasting her advantage with a ‘look how good I am’ grinning session.
“My grounds could use some top-notch landscaping if you’ve got some time after the match,” Polly snarked.
Mission accomplished for Lockwood as a furious Mendoza charged right into a Toe Kick to her tummy, the bubble-blower gutted, doubled at the waist.
Lockwood snatched the raven-haired grappler by the noggin in a Side Headlock, grinding the challenger’s braincase on her hip.
“Time for a little ride, chica.”
Lockwood raced toward her partner with Mendoza in tow. A few feet from the Collusion corner, she leapt legs extended and sat out, Bulldogging Gabby into the deck with impunity. Mendoza absently flopped to her back next to the seated flag-waver. Polly rolled to all fours and placed a palm on Gabby’s gulping midriff, the other on her foe’s spandex-sheathed bosom for the pin and the…
ONE…
Mendoza kicked out with authority, shoving the Pernicious Patriot to her haunches. Lockwood feigned surprise her fellow former Lightweight Champion had kept her tag title hopes alive. She sent a set of fingers into Gabby’s long charcoal locks and tugged her to hands and knees while Polly ascended to vertical.
The Star Spangled Bytch led Gabby to FAWN’s personal Putinista like a dog on a leash, Lockwood handing over the reins to Koslova who stepped through the ropes crisply, Polly noticeably tardy in evacuating the ring. The potential double-team didn’t miss the eyes of The Gorgeous One, Chadwick immediately on Castle’s case. Nick’s leeway was instantly put to an advantage by the champions, Polly and Kira drawing a wobbly Gabby up and halfway down the length of the ring before heaving her off with a double Irish Whip.
The Gum Chomper sprinted to the opposite cables and rebounded toward the charging champions. Lockwood, leading the way, went low and Mendoza had the athleticism to hop over the Baseball Sliding blonde. But Polly’s move was all subterfuge to get Gabby airborne and the Red Menace SPEARED the bronzed midriff of the Babyfaced Killer like a Scud missile, nearly tearing the vulnerable Texan in two before BURYING her into the canvas.
The FAWNatics couldn’t help but groan in sympathy at the sight, such was the dual impact of fold and unfold, Mendoza left a spread-eagled wreck at center stage. As a rising Polly strode toward her corner, wiping her hands, Koslova slithered in to claim the glory for a title match ass whipping. The ivory-skinned redhead spread her frame across Mendoza’s demolished form in a Lateral Press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Gabby kicked loose again, the earliness of the match likely the only thing saving her from the perfectly played bait-and-switch. Mendoza, moving to hands and knees, hugged her gutted midriff with one arm while trying to drag herself toward a concerned Ginnifer with the other. Kira stood behind Gabby, deciding how to batter the lethargic Latina further.
The redhead mounted Mendoza in a standing forward straddle of the crawling challenger and dropped her derriere into the base of Gabby’s spine, sending the Texan flat to the canvas where she slithers onward, face etched in pain, determined to escape the loyal ally of the Fox&Friendly blonde.
Koslova stepped on the hammies of the flattened Mendoza, twisting the lower limbs around her shins to keep her foe’s legs locked in place. A slap of Gabby’s sides reflexively brought her protecting arms within range and Polly’s muscle snatched them at the wrists. Leaning back with a pendulum-like one and two and three, Koslova finally launched the captured Gabby above her, every limb under pressure, the Texan’s spine curled unnaturally in the vicious and seemingly inescapable Romero Hold.
ROMERO HOLD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LbYPYkInoE
The crowd couldn’t help but roar at the sight of the bratty Babyfaced Killer extended in the air, howling in pain, completely at the Russian’s command, a puppet at the end of the raised arms and legs of the St. Petersburg native.
Nick asked the lovely Latina if she wanted to surrender her opportunity to become tag champion and Mendoza shook her head wildly, long ebony locks flying. But when Kira rattled her elevated frame as punishment for the response, Gabby was left a blubbering bubble blower.
Unwilling to be part of a title match where she never entered, Ginnifer shot through the ropes and moved to break up the submission. But Polly was just as quick on the draw and the True American vaulted into an amazing Dropkick, skying over the Romero to NAIL Chadwick in the chops and send her backpedaling to a back-first collision with the buckles. A split-second after impact with the Gorgeous One, Polly’s Dropkick became a makeshift Senton across the open tummy of the Texan, CRUSHING Gabby’s midriff, Kira somehow keeping Mendoza elevated throughout.
Only when Lockwood dropped off the lambasted Latina did Koslova relent to her burning limbs, tossing the demolished Mendoza aside like Texas trash.
Elated by the early domination of their super-powered alliance, Polly bounced to boot-leather and would’ve exchanged a high five with Koslova if Nick hadn’t pointed a stern finger toward the Collusion corner. “Tampering, blatant TAMPERING!” Lockwood pouted as she headed in the direction bade. “Don’t think I’ll forget this before my next visit to the Oval Office!”
As for the other half of the Tag Team Champions, Kira only had eyes for Mendoza, eyes that glittered with obvious malice as the wounded Texan dragged herself to all fours with a little assistance from the bottom rope. Moving quite casually for someone with immediate violence on her mind, Koslova strolled over to Gabby and planted a foot on her back at the same time she grabbed the top rope in both hands. In the next instant she pushed off from the penitent challenger, not Daly or Burlingame heights mind you, but more than enough to put plenty of momentum behind the Double Stomp she THWHUMPED into the small of Mendoza’s back!
Gabby grunted, then groaned aloud when she crumpled to canvas with Koslova still astride her defenseless frame. Alas the Texan’s plight was far from over, as the stoic submission specialist shifted her left foot to the back of Gabby’s noggin and thum-thum-thump-THUMPED her forehead offa the deck with no less than half a dozen truncated Curbstomps!
SPETSNAZ STOMPS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZS-BJVyGU
Stepping away from her mewling doormat once Castle hustled back with ‘FOUR!’ count, the Russian import sneered, “Starting to sympathize with your gum, little girl?”
“Watch your mouth, commie!” Ginnifer barked when Gabby could muster no response of her own. “Or I’ll slap you so hard you’ll--” Chadwick nearly choked on indignation when Koslova dismissed her with a single middle finger en route to scraping Mendoza off the mat.
Positioning the brunette so Gabby was between herself and the G-Thang corner, Kira laid claim to Mendoza’s right wrist and extended it in an energetic but otherwise useless mock tag attempt that did nothing for Ginnifer’s blood-pressure. Tossing the limb aside after another second or two, Koslova tucked her head under Mendoza’s left armpit and cinched both arms around the challenger’s waist. Hooks set, she popped her hips to take the Babyfaced Killer up, over and DOWN onto the back of her head and skull, some of G-Thang’s most ardent detractors cringing in sympathy by the time Mendoza came to rest on her face, chest and belly.
BACKDROP SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZS-BJVyGU
“COVER HER, KIRA!” Polly shouted from the other side of the squared circle. “COVER THAT GUM-CHEWING DISSIDENT RIGHT NOW!”
Koslova needed no additional prompting, she sidled over to Gabby, shot a Half Nelson to roll her onto her back and hooked the far leg all while keeping her eyes locked on Ginnifer. Teeth bared in consternation, Chadwick slipped through the ropes just as Castle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Gabby lifted a shoulder off the mat without any assistance from the Gorgeous One, not that her encroachment went unnoticed by the champions.
“THROW HER OUT, CASTLE!” Lockwood demanded even though Chadwick was already back on the apron.
The official made his way in that direction just to quiet the blonde down so Kira took the opportunity to really puuuuuuull on the Texan’s hair as she hauled her to verticality. “You are pathetic.” she sniffed following a derisive slap that pinked Mendoza’s cheek. “To think that such juvenile posturing would be any use against the likes of--”
CRAAACK!
Gabby returned the favor with head-swiveling interest, her Bytch Slap rocking Koslova back on her heels to the delight of those assembled. “Watch your mouth, Bytch Face.” Gabs huffed. “Or I’ll go all Rocky ‘n Bullwinkle on your icy--”
Kira swung for the fences with aim of knocking Gabby’s gum (as well as her molars) into the upper deck, but the brunette dipped beneath it with a quick forward roll that brought her up on the champion’s six before Koslova started to turn around. Planted on her lead (right) foot, Mendoza lashed a Roundhouse at Kira’s temple only to have the Russian dip beneath it and-- Gabby came out on the far side, sprang straight into the air and THWHACKED her left foot off Koslova’s skull with a huge Enzugiri!
DOUBLE MINT KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MAxj3HCrps
Kira stepped in fencepost holes, the Russian’s usually sturdy legs looking like they might give out at any second so Mendoza snatched her right hand in a snug Knucklelock. “I said WATCH (CRACK!) YOUR (CRACK!) MOUTH (CRACK!) BYTCH-FACE!” (CRACK!)
Another quartet of slaps kept Koslova remarkably docile as Gabby rushed them both straight at… the Collusion corner? Surprise rang out all over the FAWN Arena, none louder than Polly Lockwood, who failed to understand the danger until Mendoza THWHACKED her straight in the chops with a perfect Yakuza Kick! The Pernicious Patriot tumbled from the apron with a startled grunt, which was probably for the best because it meant she didn’t have to see Gabby hop onto the top turnbuckle and dive right back into the squared circle, the Texan using the Knucklelock as a tether to sling Kira from one corner to the other, the wobbling Russian regaining her feet only inches from the Gorgeous One!
SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WwMPOKSmy4
Careful to keep her hands raised until she was certain Castle’s attention was elsewhere, Chadwick abruptly snatched Koslova’s head in both hands and BWUUUNGED her face-first into the top turnbuckle. Already under a great deal of strain, Kira’s knees gave out on impact and she collapsed with both arms draped over the middle rope. T’was not a very comfortable position to begin with and it only got that much worse when Ginnifer snatched hold of her wrists and leaaaaaaaaaaaaaned back to put immense pressure on the redhead’s shoulders and sternum.
Kira’s pained mewling brought the official’s attention but Chadwick didn’t let go, not even when Castle barked, “Hey, knock that off, Ginnifer! You know better than that!”
The fireplug blonde only smirked and waggled her hips. “I’d watch your back if I were you, stripes.” She flicked a glance over his shoulder and Nick followed it just in time to dive out of the way when Mendoza rushed by! Leaving her feet as soon as she’d cleared the startled ref, Gabby raised both knees to hip level to THWHUMP every bit of her weight against the redhead’s defenseless back!
CORNER KNEES TO THE BACK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dioTSZKKP8M
“Scared me there for a second, Gabs.” Ginnifer said as she accepted a tag from the Babyfaced Killer.
Mendoza shook her head ‘no’, grabbed a double handful of Kira’s hair and forced her to stand. “Nah, gonna take a lot more than these Bytch Faces to chew me up. Now let’s show this commie why there ain’t no thang like G-Thang.”
Chadwick didn’t even nod, she just took the top rope in both hands and leapt to the high rent district while Mendoza backed their target away from the buckles. Once the distance was right Gabby hopped up, stuffed her knees between Koslova’s shoulders and laid out on her back to drive the air from her foe’s lithesome frame with a textbook Lungblower. Of course Gabby didn’t let Kira bounce away from the impact, rather she held the Russian prone atop her knees, meaning there was nowhere for Koslova to go when Ginnifer leapt out into the void and THWHUMPED both heels into the redhead’s exposed chest!
AIN'T NO THANG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbmcHf2byyc
Roaring with grudging admiration after the challengers crushed Kira like it Ain’t No Thang, the FAWNatics lent their voices to Nick Castle’s count once Chadwick folded the ravaged Russian in half with a Back Press good for…
ONE…
TWO...
THRNOOO!
Refusing to accept G-Thang’s sentencing, America’s future 9th Circuit of Appeals justice dove through the ropes and broke the count with less than a second to spare, shoving Chadwick off her fellow colluder.
With all four women in the ring, Castle tried to regain control, hooking the elbow of his most consistent culprit, Lockwood. The True American spun Nick in a sweeping pirouette, square-dance style, flinging the man into the charging Mendoza. The two crashed into each other at close to full speed, each ending on their back, staring blankly at the rafters.
As Polly smiled at her good work, pointing an index finger at her right temple to prove she’s Collusion’s brain trust and ‘powerful beautiful wall’, Ginnifer threw a Chopblock into the back of the blonde’s left knee, forcing Lockwood to genuflect, Polly screeching in pain. The Gorgeous One was back to her feet in an instant and whipped a soccer-style kick into the back of Lockwood’s skull, sending Polly flopping to her face.
Gin Blossom stepped toward the Babyfaced Killer, perhaps considering reviving her partner, but she caught the movement of Koslova out of the corner of her eye. With Kira seated on the canvas, trying to clear her head, Chadwick approached from her foe’s six. She grabbed the Russian’s left arm, lifting and folding the appendage in a Hammerlock. The blonde pivoted, rolling the Red Menace to her chest. She leaned back while driving a knee between Kira’s shoulderblades.
Her Gorgeous Hammerlock applied in a seeming attempt to dislocate the Russian’s elbow, Ginnifer yanked back savagely until Kira’s steely façade was broken, the redhead enthusiastically tapping the canvas, unable to survive the challenger’s finishing touch.
GORGEOUS HAMMERLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSIes0jz_n0
Unfortunately for G-Thang, Castle was still on the mental mend. He’s propped up on his palms, rattling his braincase to bring his full set of senses back into play.
Chadwick called out to Nick so he could witness Koslova beating the mat furiously but she couldn’t burn through Nick’s fog and finally tossed Kira aside. Koslova cradled her injured limb close, rolling to the mat’s edge while Ginnifer slapped Castle on the back of his head disdainfully.
“Wake up, turd!” she shouted.
Castle turned and angrily threatened to disqualify G-Thang if Ginnifer touched him again. The man tempted fate, Chadwick’s face flushing.
“You…would…what?” Gin Blossom stuttered.
Beside Castle, Polly and Gabby were also emerging from their respective stupors and Ginnifer helped Mendoza reach her feet just ahead of Polly. Gabby, wanting payback on the Trumpeter, charged the wobbly ‘patriot’ and, as she’s about to level Lockwood with a forearm shiver, Polly pulled the risen Castle in front of her.
Thankfully for Nick and the G-crew, Gabby’s able to pull her punch a few inches from Castle’s chin. The ref slid to the side, leaving the cowering Lockwood in range. The Star Spangled Bytch raised a plaintive palm, but the lovely Latina wasn’t having it, NAILING Polly with hammer blow after hammer blow until Lockwood’s back bumps against a set of buckles.
Mendoza turned from the dazed blonde to see Ginnifer had Kira up and in a similar position in the opposite corner. The challengers nodded and sent the champs racing toward each other with simultaneous Irish Whips. The careless colluders RAMMED into each other mid-ring and were sent staggering away from the Collusion collision back from whence they came, where Gabby shot forward and decked Polly with a running Dropkick while the gorgeous Ginnifer planted Koslova on the mat with a raised knee to the chest.
G-Thang seemed unsure how to accept the loud approval of the FAWNatics as they hovered over their flattened foes. With a respite in the violence, Castle tried to take charge, ushering Mendoza back to her corner, Chadwick demanding to know why he didn’t roll the garbage that was Polly Lockwood out of the squared circle first. With Gabby in place, Nick proceeded toward doing just that.
Snatching a handful of auburn locks, Gin Blossom tugged Kira to her feet and walked her to the ‘G’ corner where she slapped palms with the Terrible Texan.
“Have some fun, Gabs. Putin’s bytch is now your bytch.”
Not wanting to rile Castle further, Chadwick stepped through the ropes in good time, leaving the rubber-legged Koslova to the entering Mendoza.
With Lockwood still on the floor in recovery mode, the Collusion corner was unoccupied and the Babyfaced Killer lined up the reeling Russian with the far buckles. She sent Kira into a sprint with an Irish Whip and followed a few steps behind. Koslova turned and CRASHED into the corner back-first. An instant later, she’s sandwiched by with a leaping splash, Gabby burying the champ beneath her bod.
Pivoting, Mendoza rudely tossed the redhead by, flipping her to the deck, Koslova ending in a demolished single file, an inviting target for a charter flight by the Texan. Gabby scrambled up the corner, reaching the top swiftly and turning to face her ivory-skinned crash pad.
Enjoying the cheers a little too much, Mendoza reveled in the rare support a tick too long as a scaling Polly made it to the apron and shook the ropes enough to cause the bubble-blower to lose her balance.
Gabby dropped from her penthouse perch, wicket split by the wire connecting the ring post to the top buckle. The Latina’s flawless features twisted in agony as she rode the intruding cord. Polly didn’t help the situation, grabbing either ankle and bouncing her foe up and down, driving the wire deeper between her legs.
With Castle laying down the law, Lockwood raised her palms, proclaiming his complaints so much fake news. The Fox&Friendly blonde turned to Kira, her comrade on hands and knees, and demanded the Putinista make her the acting AG of this match. The battered Russian gritted her way to the champ’s home base and dove to tag Lockwood’s extended hand.
Slipping through the ropes as Kira rolled under, Polly snagged the lowered head of the wincing Gabby, corralling it in a Front Facelock and pulling Mendoza forward until her ankles draped over the top ropes on either side of the corner.
“Time to deport your sorry ass back to the Rio Grande,” the True American hisses.
Polly laid out, SPIKING the crown of Gabby’s skull into the thinly-sheathed plywood. Mendoza flipped over after the brutal impact, sliding into a stilled starfish. A grinning Lockwood remained on her back, giving herself an ovation, the FAWNatics silenced by the Star Spangled Bytch.
The red-white-and-blue-clad Lockwood rolled to her chest and took in the demolished Mendoza, the challenger splayed and snoozing. She pushed to hands and knees and crawled to the remains.
“I’ve made this tag division GREAT AGAIN, losers!” she bellowed, before dropping her body across the frame of the Latina for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Ginnifer came in low and fast, the Gorgeous One delivering a heavy Double Axehandle to the nape of Lockwood’s neck with all of a half second to spare.
Polly’s up in a trice, the indignant blonde demanding instant gratification in the form of Chadwick’s prompt deportation. Gin Blossom didn’t argue with Castle’s order to return to her corner, but she made a point to pantomime snapping the champ’s arm with her signature Hammerlock as she took her leave.
“Just wait, bite size!” Chadwick barked. “I’ll make you tap faster than that ginger commie!”
Polly regarded her with narrowed eyes, the Pugnacious Pundit clearly not pleased by the reminder of Kira’s undocumented capitulation. Turning her attention to the prone form of one Gabby Mendoza, Lockwood helped herself to a double handful of the brunette’s dark tresses and peeled her off the mat just long enough to stuff a trio of spiteful Kneelifts into her tummy. With Bazooka Josephine practically doubled over her left knee, Polly leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the Texan’s waist. Once her hands were cinched she turned the both of ‘em toward the challenger’s corner so she could lock eyes with Ginnifer.
“You think this little tramp was humiliated after Lenore dragged her all over the Oil Pit? Wait’ll you see what I have in store!” Chadwick started to reply, but shut up quick when Polly muscled her into the air for what started like a traditional Gutwrench before the champ swung her burden under her right arm and dropped to her butt to THAWHAM Mendoza against the deck with her Fact Check Driver!
FACT CHECK DRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8hoKlOD4Uc
Gabby bounced on impact and might’ve rolled a little closer to her corner if Lockwood hadn’t reached out and snatched a handful of her waistband. “Where do you think you’re going, lib-tard?” Polly teased as she hauled the gaping battler to all fours. Shooting another baleful glare in Chadwick’s direction, the blonde wrenched Mendoza’s head back with one hand and offered the crowd a parade wave with the other. Then she reared back and wedged that cupped hand between the challenger’s thighs to secure a white-knuckled Presidential Handshake!
“AAAAWWWWWW GAAAAWD!” Gabby shrieked in abject anguish as Polly tried to earn a submission in her trunks. “Keep an eye on that brat!” Lockwood said of Chadwick, who’d grown noticeably pale over the last few seconds. “Make sure she doesn’t interfere!”
Already close, Nick Castle dropped to one knee beside the action and asked, “What do you say, Gabby? Need to throw in the towel?”
The Babyfaced Killer answered with a wordless ‘no’ her forehead scraping against the canvas as Polly continued to ravage her nethers. “What’s that?” Polly taunted. “Come on loser, you think you can share my ring? The least you can do is deny like you mean it!” Lockwood emphasized this demand by relinquishing the hair-hold so she could deliver a few tawdry slaps to the brunette’s quaking buttocks.
“Yuuuhhhh… you’re gonna pay for this, Bytch Face.” Gabby said with an obvious quaver in her voice. “I’ll stick my gum in your eye and your face in my OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH STAAAAAAAAHP!”
Polly added her thumb to the hateful handshake, this increased punishment more than enough to raise Mendoza’s right hand off the mat for several moments of indecisive wavering. “Stick that nasty gum where the sun doesn’t shine, chica.” Lockwood sneered. “We both know you’re in for a faceful of Ol’ Glory when this match is ovOOOOOWWW BYTCH!”
Gabby’s shivering hand shot beneath her own torso, grabbed hold of Polly’s flexing fingers and twisted like she meant to snap them off at the first knuckle! The Star Spangled Bytch didn’t much appreciate the resistance, so she crooked her other arm into a ‘V’ and thum-thum-thum-THUMPED a quartet of rough Forearm Smashes across Mendoza’s exposed shoulders. Scowling with disdain as she finally released her prey’s crotch, Polly got to her feet and forced Gabby to do the same with a massive handful of hair. “You’re not on my level!” she barked in the former Lightweight champ’s face. “NO ONE is on my level!” She shoved Mendoza toward the G-Thang corner only to rush by and leave her feet, the pocket-sized powerhouse hooking her hands over Gabby’s jaw to THWHUNK her down on the back of her head and shoulders with a huge Jumping Neckbreaker!
JUMPING NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1SWz_HWggo
Polly bounced to boot-leather, whipped around in a half circle and rushed into the challenger’s side of town just to CRAAACK a gaudy Bytch Slap across Ginnifer’s mouth! Chadwick snarled in rage and came through the ropes only to have her encroachment stuffed by Nick Castle.
“Don’t even think about it, Ginnifer! Stay right where you are!”
“Come on, dammit! Why don’t you give her shyt for slapping me in the WHOOAAANNNNGGGHHH!”
Understandably preoccupied with the official, Gin Blossom didn’t notice Kira Koslova until the redhead grabbed her by the ankles and yanked her off the apron! Cringing at the way Chadwick’s chin collided with the edge, Nick gathered himself quickly enough and shouted, “What do you think you’re doing, Kira? Get back to your side of the ring!”
The Russian flipped him the bird but regretted it almost immediately when Ginnifer stuffed a shoulder into her tummy and BWANGED her lower back into the steel guardrail!
Castle cursed, would’ve gone through the ropes then and there if Polly hadn’t snapped, “Hey! Action’s in here, moron! I don’t need you getting distracted at a time like this!” Satisfied she had the ref’s attention (and really, how could she not?) Lockwood bent down and filled her hands with Mendoza’s hair, all the better to haul her off the ma--
Gabby swatted the blonde’s claws away and tagged her with a back-handed Bytch Slap that earned the Texan one of the loudest pops of her career. “Keep your filthy hands offa me bytch fa--”
Polly interrupted with a vicious kick aimed at Mendoza’s trunks but the Babfaced Killer caught her by the ankle with an inch or so to spare. Eyes wide, Lockwood waved her hands ‘no, no, no!’ a plea for leniency that ended the moment Mendoza pulled her foot up almost to chest-level just to toss it back down. Gabz dropped to one knee as she did so, meaning that Polly’s forehead THONKED off the newly-posted joint.
ATOMIC JAWBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ARX2uSg6dk
The Pernicious Patriot bounced back on her heels and swung around in a woozy half circle that pointed her toward the challenger’s corner. Gabby only let her make it a step or two before she reached out and seized hold of the blonde’s right wrist and pulled it snug across Lockwood’s tummy. Then Mendoza pulled the ripcord to spin Polly around thus putting her in perfect position when Gabby somersaulted forward and THWHACKED the heel of her right foot into the bridge of Lockwood’s nose! Polly hit the deck in a flat sprawl so Mendoza stuffed her biceps into the pits of the champ’s knees and folded her in half with a Matchbook good for the…
RIPCORD KOPPU KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I72ls6kAxdQ
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Kira dove under the bottom rope and shoved the brunette from her perch with half a second to spa--
Ginnifer caught the meddling Russian by the ankles and dragged her back to the floor with a single convulsive YANK!
Gabz pounded a frustrated fist against the mat, though she felt a little better when a glance at the outside told her Gin Blossom was putting the boots to Koslova. Nodding her approval, Gabby slapped the back of Polly’s noggin a few times and muttered, “Time to burst your delusional little bubble, bytch face.”
Lockwood muttered a curse, so Mendoza slapped her again, then got up and hurried to the G-Thang corner, where she sprang from mat to top turnbuckle in a single bound. Settled down in a crouch facing the ring, she didn’t stand until Lockwood managed to rise perhaps five seconds later. She leapt when Polly turned, the brunette stuffing raised knees into the blonde’s chest just as she laced her hands around Lockwood’s head and laid out on her back to DESTROY the Star Spangled Bytch with a diving Burst Your Bubble.
DIVING BURST YOUR BUBBLE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWiVhHfw62w
Polly shot straight into the air and landed flat on her back, not that the FAWNatics got much chance to appreciate the brand new crater because Gabby pounced across her chest and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
TWO…
But before the third slap of palm to canvas could occur, the boot at the end of a long, lean leg RAMS into Mendoza’s left temple, sending the lovely Latina flopping off the demolished Lockwood, Polly not even having flinched to save herself.
Castle hopped to her feet wide-eyed. Likewise, the FAWNatics sat in stunned silence watching Mariel McGinty hover over both the stilled Star Spangled Bytch and the mewling Mendoza.
MARIEL MCGINTY:
VALERIE STIPANOVIC:
On the outside, the two-front war was opened when Valerie Stipanovic whistled to Ginnifer from behind, drawing Chadwick’s attention from stomping the Russian into borscht, and directly into a sweeping Spin Kick connecting cleanly with the side of the blonde’s head. Ginnifer pirouetted from the impact, ending flat on her back in a glassy-eyed haze.
Nick seemed to consider his options for a moment but quickly decided he has no other choice, calling for the bell.
As he moved to the ropes, shouting at the timekeeper, the towering blonde was poised behind a slowly rising and quite confused Gabby. The Terrible Texan turned into Mariel’s revenge. McGinty surged toward the tawny-skinned challenger, leaping as she reached her target. Her right leg BANGED into Gabby’s collarbone and Mariel rode her rival down to the mat with her Gam Changer.
GAM CHANGER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1gFVWBx4Bw
Mendoza was BLASTED by the leggy finisher, the Babyfaced Killer SPASMING WILDLY from the impact before falling still next to the seated and smiling ‘Legs’.
On the outside, her brunette counterpart waited patiently for a dizzied Ginnifer to push off the thinly-padded concrete. As soon as Gin Blossom reached vertical, she’s gutted with a Toe Kick, Val impaling her from long-range with those celebrated stems. With Chadwick bent at the waist, Stipanovic put it in reverse a few steps then came back to G-Money, lifting her left leg high over the back of Chadwick’s neck, and PLANTING Ginnifer’s face into the floor with a brutal Famelegger that leaves Gin Blossom a shuddering wreck under Val’s long tawny gam.
FAMELEGGER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqH5RD03OdU
With the crowd torn between cheers and confusion, they finally revved to a supportive hum when Valerie rose and slipped into the ring, corralling her partner in a warm embrace.
Leggs, Inc. hugged it out while the Ring Announcer confirmed Castle’s decision.
“Your winners, by disqualification are Gabby Mendoza and Ginnifer Chadwick…G-THANG! But still retaining the FAWN Tag team titles…COLLUSION!”
The masses seemed less happy with the official results than with Mariel and Valerie taking out their frustration on the Gs for aborting their looming tag title win at the previous Pay-Per-View. The Queens of the Ring tourney champs towered over the splayed bodies of Polly and Gabby, while outside the confines, only Kira had any sense of things having taken a severe left turn. The Russian climbed to her feet at the apron’s edge and stareed in disbelief at what she sees.
Handed both belts by an attendant, she carefully rolled in under the bottom rope, popping to her feet, ready for an attack by the team Collusion edged at Chills. But Leggs, Inc. seemed more than happy to concentrate on pushing boot soles into Mendoza’s prone form, making sure the Latina’s eventually aware how karma was a bigger bytch than her.
Placing the titles at her feet, Kira advanced toward the stirring Polly, palms extended, trying to make sure Leggs knew she’s not her usual threatening Russian bear of a redhead. She genuflected on reaching her comrade and grabbed Polly’s ankle, then rose and gently tugged Lockwood to the corner nearest Collusion’s gilded girdles.
Once out of range of the long lower limbs of McGinty and Stipanovic, Koslova helped Polly to her feet, clueing the True American in that they’ve lost the match but they’re still champs. Polly drew her title close to her chest, seemingly satisfied she’s still a champion. Meanwhile, Mariel and Val hauled the still wobbly bubble-blower to her feet.
“Guess you should have let us win,” McGinty informed. “We would have given you the next shot.”
“But I guess she knew they couldn’t beat us, Mare,” Valerie added.
McGinty nodded as she started to scoop Mendoza off the canvas on the Latina’s left side while the long-legged brunette did likewise on the right, Gabby going bug-eyed as she’s vaulted, shaking her head in pleading fashion, headed for a dual Powe Slam to the canvas.
But before the partners could plant the Babyfaced Killer THROUGH the deck, Collusion, with their faceplates bared, rammed the gold into the lower spine of the Incorporated duo. Mendoza fell to the canvas in relative safety, collapsing to her haunches.
Both Queens of the Ring arched in pain from the sneak attack by the champions. But blonde and brunette were not down and they turned to face off with the sweat-soaked champs. It’s not much of a Mexican standoff as Polly and Kira showed their qualities include first-rate backstabbing, leaping at Leggs, this time DRIVING the gold between the eyes of each interloper.
Mariel and Valerie were knocked flat to the canvas by the collision of metal to cranium, out cold in stereo spreadeagles, inside hands touching the other, inside ankles crossing.
An angry wave of jeers echoed through the arena as it’s Collusion’s turn to loiter over demolished foes, Polly barking at the impudence of the HGH-fueled freaks. An entering Ginnifer scooped her arms under those of a relieved Gabby, lifting her partner and easing back a step or two to make sure the colluders didn’t plan to use the shiny weapons on them.
When Lockwood motioned toward the splayed Leggs, it didn’t take even a split-second for Mendoza to respond to the cue and leap to a straddle of the flattened McGinty, sinking in a pair of claws to Mariel’s modest rack to bring her around. For her part, a more wary Ginnifer steps her boot sole on Valerie’s throat while keeping a close eye on the opportunistic allies, Stems choking back to life even as the searing pain in her bosom resuscitates Legs.
The crowd levels its displeasure at the two hated teams who, moments before had been at each other’s throats. Now Collusion watched with fascination and not a little bit of pleasure as G-Thang works over another set of recent challengers to Polly and Kira’s throne.
The cascading jeers parted like an audible Red Sea as another pair of grapplers raced down the ramp, turning the fans’ anger to hope. America’s Sweetheart’s, Skye Mitchell and Charlie Dawson, sprinted to the ring and slid under the ropes in unison in their jaunty battle gear.
SKYE MITCHELL:
CHARLIE DAWSON:
They popped to their feet, the champions already backpedaling to the far ropes, brandishing their belts in a defensive posture. The Gs were slower to respond, still enjoying their ‘fun’ with Leggs, Inc. until the last second. They paid for this lapse as the Sweethearts NAILED the rising Gabby and Ginnifer with a set of right crosses then nimbly intercept the return fire of G-Thang. Skye popped the chops of Gabby again, sending Mendoza’s gum flying, and Charlie pounded Gin Blossom for a second straight.
The beloved duo continue to block and blast three, four, five times until stereo bolo punches send Gabby and Ginnifer back-flipping over the top cable and tumbling to the floor below.
To the side, taking all of it in, Collusion watched calmly but carefully as Mitchell and Dawson battered the team that took them out of the Queens of the Ring tourney.
With the Gs ejected, the Sweethearts immediately turned their attention to Polly and the Red Menace, fists raised. But the True American and her colluding cohort showed no interest in taking on the badass cuties. Dropping their belts over a shoulder, each champ raised their palms to the newcomers, making clear they don’t want any part of the Sweethearts.
“They’re all yours, ladies,” Lockwood assured, motioning to the stirring Leggs. “Make sure they thank you because I don’t think the Gs had a lot of charity in their hearts for those freaks of nature.”
Polly ducked her way through the ropes, Kira covering her partner’s six before dipping through herself, both women dropping to the floor. They took a moment to admire the mess Skylar and Charlie had made of Gabby and Ginnifer and headed for the back, technically losers to G-Thang but going home with the big prizes in their possession.
Bodies unclenching as they watched Collusion walk away from the fight, the Sweethearts took a glance at the Gs, both seated and massaging their jaws. Surmising they’ll want nothing more, Skye and Charlie moved to Leggs, Inc. the long leggy grapplers each taking a knee to steady themselves. Dawson offered a hand to Valerie and Mitchell the same to Mariel, Leggs looking up with some trepidation at the comparatively tiny warriors.
The FAWNatics, already cheering the Sweetehearts’ success in routing the baddies and saving Leggs, raised their volume as the united front came to fruition. McGinty and Stipanovic shared a side glance then nodded to each other, then to the Sweethearts, accepting their offer. FAWN’s beloved help Leggs, Inc, to their towering height.
When, out of nowhere, the unending right legs of Mariel and Val shot forward, gutting the benevolent beauties. The impaled Sweethearts were doubled and gasping in front of the steely-eyed Leggs. McGinty stepped to Mitchell and Stems to Dawson, the Incorporated twosome wrapping up each of America’s girls in a Front Facelock. Instantly, they laid out to the canvas, SPIKING the crown of each Sweetheart’s skull into the canvas, Skye and Charlie flipping after the impact and landing in wide spreadeagles.
The silenced crowd turned to raucous boos when the unapologetic Leggs rose and walked sternly to the boot soles of the decked saviors. Mariel scooped up Skylar’s ankles and Valerie did the same with Charlie’s.
“Did we ask you for shyt?” McGinty shouted at the glassy eyes of her captured brunette.
“Little girls should stay out of big fights,” Valerie yelled. “Maybe you’ll learn that.”
Leggs each tossed one Sweetheart leg aside and pirouetted around the other, bending the much shorter stem around their own. They dropped to the canvas, bending then locking the gams of the Sweethearts in the familiar figure of four.
As Valerie and Mariel grabbed the straight leg of the woman of their choice and drop flat to the canvas, Skye and Charlie screamed out in pain. Propping on their elbows, Mitchell and Dawson tugged at their own locks to spread the agony, yelping and pleading “WHY?” toward the sneering Leggs.
FIGURE FOUR SCISSORS @ 00:27
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E53mzsiSPbc
“Don’t even!” Mariel bellowed. “You need to stay where you belong…in the back. We’ve got the spotlight covered!”
Simultaneously, Val and Mariel bridged their Figure-4s into Figure-8s and, after biting their lips and holding their tongues for a few seconds, the Sweethearts slapped the canvas in unison, tapping frantically, squealing at Leggs, Inc. to please release them. Only after a good dozen seconds do Mariel and Valerie relent, unhooking their lauded legs from those of the Sweethearts.
McGinty and Stipanovic rose to a sound they’d never heard, billowing boos, but they were far more intent on making sure they’ve made their point with America’s girls. As Skylar and Charlie clenched at their aching lower limbs, apparently nothing more seems needed.
Leggs, Inc. turned, kicking mock dust behind them on the mewling cavalry turned victims.
Having made the point no team, loved or hated, would stand in the way of the Queens, Leggs took their leave, America’s Sweethearts and many a FAWN fan’s heart left in their wake.
BUBBLE GUM B*TCH:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1eQLw0Nwto
The crowd’s adrenaline was already pumping when Texas’ answer to the Oil Crisis brought on by the Pit stopper Lenore Lemarchand strode in from stage left. The Terrible Texan moved to center stage, widening her slender but sinewy stems and raising her arms high and wide in a ‘V’.
GABBY MENDOZA:
Gabby swung her ebony locks from one shoulder to the other and languidly turned her head to the direction from which she’d emerged.
It’s then Charlie XCX broke over Mendoza’s music, signaling the approach of the Gorgeous One.
TROPHY:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6RalzPNNpc
Joining El Gato del Petroleo, the blonde, second gen superstar stood shoulder to shoulder with her more heralded cohort.
GINNIFER CHADWICK:
Dirty blonde Ginnifer was clad in a white, strapless one piece, the initials “G” and “C” emblazoned at the bust, letterman-style, in neon pink script, the uppermost curve of both letters extending just above the cups. Her pads and boots white as well. The blonde’s gray-green eyes were hidden behind a pair of Lolita shades.
The two hook pinkies and started their walk to the ring, Chadwick aloof, hardly seeming to notice the crowd.
Gabby enjoyed playing with the mob, puckering her lips and blowing trademark bubbles before popping them with her tongue. Between chomps of her pink wad, she sneered at detractors and supporters alike and, for tonight at least, there were a fair number of the latter for the title challengers.
Gabby’s iconic wardrobe was on full display; black lace panties beneath a plaid mini-skirt and a matching black bustier that gave the Latina’s pert bounty a flattering boost. Her tawny legs were encased in thigh high black nylons, adjacent to black pads and boots.
Reaching the ring, they circled in opposite directions, Gin Blossom ignoring those nearby, Gabby jawing with the jackals between chews and pops. Meeting at the far corner, G-Money hopped to the apron and climbed through the ropes on either side of the post.
Moving to the middle, Mendoza dropped to a knee, Gabby standing behind her, softly kneading her partner’s shoulders as the Announcer made their arrival official.
“Our next match is scheduled for one fall with a 30-minute time limit and it is for the FAWN Tag Team Championship! First, the challengers. Hailing from Irving, Texas, standing five feet five inches tall and weighing in at one hundred and twenty-one pounds. the Babyfaced Killer, Gabby Mendoza. AND. From Savannah, Georgia, standing five feet five inches tall and weighing in at a gorgeous one hundred and nineteen pounds, Ginnifer Chadwick. You know. They’re all about that G-THANG!”
Seemingly forgetting who they’re facing, the FAWNatics buried the twosome in a cascade of boos, Mendoza and Chadwick more comfortable with the animosity than the scattering of previous love for the Thang.
Ginnifer scooped her arms under those of the lovely Latina and hauled Gabby to her feet, giving her partner and soon-to-be fellow champion a hug from behind. Melded together in the embrace, they backed to the buckles and waited on the champs.
The arena’s speakers spark to life with the pounding of “America, Fuck Yeah” from Team America World Police, and the crowd is brought to life as with shock therapy.
AMERICA, F*CK YEAH!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8
Blue America’s least favorite little blonde antagonist strode to center stage. Beside her was the woman she’d introduced to the big time and who now stood with her as a champion, Kira Koslova. The Fox&Friendly blonde and her Russian redhead scanned the proletariat, each with a golden championship slung over a shoulder.
KIRA KOSLOVA:
POLLY LOCKWOOD:
The women raised their trophies high and an increasing number of ‘Polly Patriots’ rose in support, the Star Spangled Bytch collecting more of Trump’s base with each successive victory. Still in the minority, the Patriots saluted their leader, her partner and their anthem. The far from silent majority made themselves known in completely different fashion, jeering the obnoxious Trumpeter and her Russian ruffian.
The flaxen-haired hardbody brought a crisp salute to her brow to signal her troops then les the liberal snowflakes know what she thinks of them by fashioning the knife-edge into a salute of the middle finger variety.
The True American was in her own brand of battle fatigues, Polly proudly sporting her customary hot pants and bikini top. Lockwood alternates her country’s colors between a shiny, eye catching blue topside, white stars prominently placed in the appropriate spots; and shimmering red and white-striped spandex below, the space age polymer barely covering her biscuit butt. She finished the ensemble with gleaming white pads and boots.
Lockwood sports her customary cape, Old Glory draped over her shoulders.
She turned and accepted her new partner in a literal Russian Bear Hug. As the crowd’s jeers rose in volume, the duo separated and start down the ramp to defend their titles.
Kira threw off a full length grey fur coat and white wool hat to reveal a simple red one piece, with one unusual aspect — a cutout pattern displaying a portion of Kira’s trim, toned abdomen in the form of a hammer and sickle, Koslova embracing her dictatorial roots even more forcefully than her hero, President Vlad. White pads and boots, the footwear with red hammer-and-sickles, completed the rookie’s attire.
Arm in arm, the international team marched confidently to the ring, Polly occasionally jawing with the fans who’ve watched too much fake news and saluting those with enough common sense to understand she’s the best this country and thus the world had ever produced. Koslova was a picture of former Soviet stoicism, ignoring the hate emanating from the FAWNatics, steering clear of them altogether as she tramped to the squared circle.
Reaching the ring, Lockwood was energized next to her powerful ally, as she informed the challengers that in this country, HER COUNTRY, it’s all about the P-Thing. Polly and patriotism. The Russian led her teammate up the steps as the Announcer made their introduction.
“And their opponents...hailing from Buffalo, New York and St. Petersburg, Russia, respectively, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty pounds…the FAWN tag team champions…Polly Lockwood and Kira Koslova, together they commit COLLUSION!”
Koslova sat on the middle cable and pushed the top upward to make room for her fellow colluder. Polly dove through the opening, landing on her hands and rolling through a somersault, the momentum of which she used to pop to her feet. Kira swung her legs through, climbed off the middle rope and strode to the Pernicious Patriot in less dramatic fashion.
Kira handed a microphone to Polly then relieved Lockwood of her banner/cape, neatly folding the Stars-n-Stripes and placing it in Collusion’s corner.
“You can fool these morons, Mendoza. But not me. You only became a Texan after your mama-sita jumped the wall twenty-some years ago. And Chadwick. Your mama should have headed in the opposite direction after she humiliated herself with her atrocious ring career.”
The reaction from the crowd showed Lockwood would lose a popular vote in a landslide.
“And as bad as a pair of fake Americans as they were, you two are worse. Brainless, talentless bubbleheads. Hell. I bet you’re vegans, too.”
G-Thang shared a snicker, not impressed by Polly’s show.
“Laugh it up, losers,” Lockwood spat. “At the end of this match, you’re kissing my flag then you’re kissing my ass.”
With Koslova back and massaging Polly’s shoulders, Lockwood let the stick tumble from her fingers, hitting the deck with a CLUNK. Collusion backpedaled to their corner, Kira and Polly discussing who’ll lead their assault.
Likely feeling more comfortable than she had heading into the Land of the Giants last month, Polly decided she’d start things out on the champs’ side and, with the tag titles on the line, it’s no surprise the Babyfaced Killer stepped out to meet Lockwood, both women smirking in predatory fashion.
“Are you going to say it?” Gabby asked as they circled around the middle of the ring.
Polly’s face scrunched, essentially asking ‘what the hell are you talking about?’
“You know. We kept you champions at Chills. You’re welcome.”
“Y’know,” Lockwood replied. “When we build that wall I’m going to make sure they put Texas on the side where it belongs.”
A snarling Mendoza closed in and tied up with the little blonde hardbody, Gabby using the leverage of her longer limbs while Polly relied on her compact power to keep the situation a stalemate.
“And Polls,” Gabby grunted. “Don’t let anyone tell you we did it to keep the weaker team champs so we could take the belts. That’s a nasty rumor.”
The Star Spangled Bytch broke free of the locked limbs long enough to lift a pointed knee into Gabby’s tawny-skinned breadbasket, nearly popping the pink wad from her mouth, the Texan barely catching it with her incisors before it ejected completely.
With Gabby bent at the waist, Lockwood lifted a second and third knee, ramming the bony joint into the challenger’s modest chest, Mendoza’s rocked onto her heels until a precise dropkick from Polly dumped La Chica Petroleo on her backside. Lockwood kipped to her feet and beamed at the startled Gabby, Mendoza propping herself on her palms, carefully rising as she made sure the True American was wasting her advantage with a ‘look how good I am’ grinning session.
“My grounds could use some top-notch landscaping if you’ve got some time after the match,” Polly snarked.
Mission accomplished for Lockwood as a furious Mendoza charged right into a Toe Kick to her tummy, the bubble-blower gutted, doubled at the waist.
Lockwood snatched the raven-haired grappler by the noggin in a Side Headlock, grinding the challenger’s braincase on her hip.
“Time for a little ride, chica.”
Lockwood raced toward her partner with Mendoza in tow. A few feet from the Collusion corner, she leapt legs extended and sat out, Bulldogging Gabby into the deck with impunity. Mendoza absently flopped to her back next to the seated flag-waver. Polly rolled to all fours and placed a palm on Gabby’s gulping midriff, the other on her foe’s spandex-sheathed bosom for the pin and the…
ONE…
Mendoza kicked out with authority, shoving the Pernicious Patriot to her haunches. Lockwood feigned surprise her fellow former Lightweight Champion had kept her tag title hopes alive. She sent a set of fingers into Gabby’s long charcoal locks and tugged her to hands and knees while Polly ascended to vertical.
The Star Spangled Bytch led Gabby to FAWN’s personal Putinista like a dog on a leash, Lockwood handing over the reins to Koslova who stepped through the ropes crisply, Polly noticeably tardy in evacuating the ring. The potential double-team didn’t miss the eyes of The Gorgeous One, Chadwick immediately on Castle’s case. Nick’s leeway was instantly put to an advantage by the champions, Polly and Kira drawing a wobbly Gabby up and halfway down the length of the ring before heaving her off with a double Irish Whip.
The Gum Chomper sprinted to the opposite cables and rebounded toward the charging champions. Lockwood, leading the way, went low and Mendoza had the athleticism to hop over the Baseball Sliding blonde. But Polly’s move was all subterfuge to get Gabby airborne and the Red Menace SPEARED the bronzed midriff of the Babyfaced Killer like a Scud missile, nearly tearing the vulnerable Texan in two before BURYING her into the canvas.
The FAWNatics couldn’t help but groan in sympathy at the sight, such was the dual impact of fold and unfold, Mendoza left a spread-eagled wreck at center stage. As a rising Polly strode toward her corner, wiping her hands, Koslova slithered in to claim the glory for a title match ass whipping. The ivory-skinned redhead spread her frame across Mendoza’s demolished form in a Lateral Press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Gabby kicked loose again, the earliness of the match likely the only thing saving her from the perfectly played bait-and-switch. Mendoza, moving to hands and knees, hugged her gutted midriff with one arm while trying to drag herself toward a concerned Ginnifer with the other. Kira stood behind Gabby, deciding how to batter the lethargic Latina further.
The redhead mounted Mendoza in a standing forward straddle of the crawling challenger and dropped her derriere into the base of Gabby’s spine, sending the Texan flat to the canvas where she slithers onward, face etched in pain, determined to escape the loyal ally of the Fox&Friendly blonde.
Koslova stepped on the hammies of the flattened Mendoza, twisting the lower limbs around her shins to keep her foe’s legs locked in place. A slap of Gabby’s sides reflexively brought her protecting arms within range and Polly’s muscle snatched them at the wrists. Leaning back with a pendulum-like one and two and three, Koslova finally launched the captured Gabby above her, every limb under pressure, the Texan’s spine curled unnaturally in the vicious and seemingly inescapable Romero Hold.
ROMERO HOLD:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LbYPYkInoE
The crowd couldn’t help but roar at the sight of the bratty Babyfaced Killer extended in the air, howling in pain, completely at the Russian’s command, a puppet at the end of the raised arms and legs of the St. Petersburg native.
Nick asked the lovely Latina if she wanted to surrender her opportunity to become tag champion and Mendoza shook her head wildly, long ebony locks flying. But when Kira rattled her elevated frame as punishment for the response, Gabby was left a blubbering bubble blower.
Unwilling to be part of a title match where she never entered, Ginnifer shot through the ropes and moved to break up the submission. But Polly was just as quick on the draw and the True American vaulted into an amazing Dropkick, skying over the Romero to NAIL Chadwick in the chops and send her backpedaling to a back-first collision with the buckles. A split-second after impact with the Gorgeous One, Polly’s Dropkick became a makeshift Senton across the open tummy of the Texan, CRUSHING Gabby’s midriff, Kira somehow keeping Mendoza elevated throughout.
Only when Lockwood dropped off the lambasted Latina did Koslova relent to her burning limbs, tossing the demolished Mendoza aside like Texas trash.
Elated by the early domination of their super-powered alliance, Polly bounced to boot-leather and would’ve exchanged a high five with Koslova if Nick hadn’t pointed a stern finger toward the Collusion corner. “Tampering, blatant TAMPERING!” Lockwood pouted as she headed in the direction bade. “Don’t think I’ll forget this before my next visit to the Oval Office!”
As for the other half of the Tag Team Champions, Kira only had eyes for Mendoza, eyes that glittered with obvious malice as the wounded Texan dragged herself to all fours with a little assistance from the bottom rope. Moving quite casually for someone with immediate violence on her mind, Koslova strolled over to Gabby and planted a foot on her back at the same time she grabbed the top rope in both hands. In the next instant she pushed off from the penitent challenger, not Daly or Burlingame heights mind you, but more than enough to put plenty of momentum behind the Double Stomp she THWHUMPED into the small of Mendoza’s back!
Gabby grunted, then groaned aloud when she crumpled to canvas with Koslova still astride her defenseless frame. Alas the Texan’s plight was far from over, as the stoic submission specialist shifted her left foot to the back of Gabby’s noggin and thum-thum-thump-THUMPED her forehead offa the deck with no less than half a dozen truncated Curbstomps!
SPETSNAZ STOMPS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZS-BJVyGU
Stepping away from her mewling doormat once Castle hustled back with ‘FOUR!’ count, the Russian import sneered, “Starting to sympathize with your gum, little girl?”
“Watch your mouth, commie!” Ginnifer barked when Gabby could muster no response of her own. “Or I’ll slap you so hard you’ll--” Chadwick nearly choked on indignation when Koslova dismissed her with a single middle finger en route to scraping Mendoza off the mat.
Positioning the brunette so Gabby was between herself and the G-Thang corner, Kira laid claim to Mendoza’s right wrist and extended it in an energetic but otherwise useless mock tag attempt that did nothing for Ginnifer’s blood-pressure. Tossing the limb aside after another second or two, Koslova tucked her head under Mendoza’s left armpit and cinched both arms around the challenger’s waist. Hooks set, she popped her hips to take the Babyfaced Killer up, over and DOWN onto the back of her head and skull, some of G-Thang’s most ardent detractors cringing in sympathy by the time Mendoza came to rest on her face, chest and belly.
BACKDROP SUPLEX:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZS-BJVyGU
“COVER HER, KIRA!” Polly shouted from the other side of the squared circle. “COVER THAT GUM-CHEWING DISSIDENT RIGHT NOW!”
Koslova needed no additional prompting, she sidled over to Gabby, shot a Half Nelson to roll her onto her back and hooked the far leg all while keeping her eyes locked on Ginnifer. Teeth bared in consternation, Chadwick slipped through the ropes just as Castle counted…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOOO!
Gabby lifted a shoulder off the mat without any assistance from the Gorgeous One, not that her encroachment went unnoticed by the champions.
“THROW HER OUT, CASTLE!” Lockwood demanded even though Chadwick was already back on the apron.
The official made his way in that direction just to quiet the blonde down so Kira took the opportunity to really puuuuuuull on the Texan’s hair as she hauled her to verticality. “You are pathetic.” she sniffed following a derisive slap that pinked Mendoza’s cheek. “To think that such juvenile posturing would be any use against the likes of--”
CRAAACK!
Gabby returned the favor with head-swiveling interest, her Bytch Slap rocking Koslova back on her heels to the delight of those assembled. “Watch your mouth, Bytch Face.” Gabs huffed. “Or I’ll go all Rocky ‘n Bullwinkle on your icy--”
Kira swung for the fences with aim of knocking Gabby’s gum (as well as her molars) into the upper deck, but the brunette dipped beneath it with a quick forward roll that brought her up on the champion’s six before Koslova started to turn around. Planted on her lead (right) foot, Mendoza lashed a Roundhouse at Kira’s temple only to have the Russian dip beneath it and-- Gabby came out on the far side, sprang straight into the air and THWHACKED her left foot off Koslova’s skull with a huge Enzugiri!
DOUBLE MINT KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MAxj3HCrps
Kira stepped in fencepost holes, the Russian’s usually sturdy legs looking like they might give out at any second so Mendoza snatched her right hand in a snug Knucklelock. “I said WATCH (CRACK!) YOUR (CRACK!) MOUTH (CRACK!) BYTCH-FACE!” (CRACK!)
Another quartet of slaps kept Koslova remarkably docile as Gabby rushed them both straight at… the Collusion corner? Surprise rang out all over the FAWN Arena, none louder than Polly Lockwood, who failed to understand the danger until Mendoza THWHACKED her straight in the chops with a perfect Yakuza Kick! The Pernicious Patriot tumbled from the apron with a startled grunt, which was probably for the best because it meant she didn’t have to see Gabby hop onto the top turnbuckle and dive right back into the squared circle, the Texan using the Knucklelock as a tether to sling Kira from one corner to the other, the wobbling Russian regaining her feet only inches from the Gorgeous One!
SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WwMPOKSmy4
Careful to keep her hands raised until she was certain Castle’s attention was elsewhere, Chadwick abruptly snatched Koslova’s head in both hands and BWUUUNGED her face-first into the top turnbuckle. Already under a great deal of strain, Kira’s knees gave out on impact and she collapsed with both arms draped over the middle rope. T’was not a very comfortable position to begin with and it only got that much worse when Ginnifer snatched hold of her wrists and leaaaaaaaaaaaaaned back to put immense pressure on the redhead’s shoulders and sternum.
Kira’s pained mewling brought the official’s attention but Chadwick didn’t let go, not even when Castle barked, “Hey, knock that off, Ginnifer! You know better than that!”
The fireplug blonde only smirked and waggled her hips. “I’d watch your back if I were you, stripes.” She flicked a glance over his shoulder and Nick followed it just in time to dive out of the way when Mendoza rushed by! Leaving her feet as soon as she’d cleared the startled ref, Gabby raised both knees to hip level to THWHUMP every bit of her weight against the redhead’s defenseless back!
CORNER KNEES TO THE BACK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dioTSZKKP8M
“Scared me there for a second, Gabs.” Ginnifer said as she accepted a tag from the Babyfaced Killer.
Mendoza shook her head ‘no’, grabbed a double handful of Kira’s hair and forced her to stand. “Nah, gonna take a lot more than these Bytch Faces to chew me up. Now let’s show this commie why there ain’t no thang like G-Thang.”
Chadwick didn’t even nod, she just took the top rope in both hands and leapt to the high rent district while Mendoza backed their target away from the buckles. Once the distance was right Gabby hopped up, stuffed her knees between Koslova’s shoulders and laid out on her back to drive the air from her foe’s lithesome frame with a textbook Lungblower. Of course Gabby didn’t let Kira bounce away from the impact, rather she held the Russian prone atop her knees, meaning there was nowhere for Koslova to go when Ginnifer leapt out into the void and THWHUMPED both heels into the redhead’s exposed chest!
AIN'T NO THANG:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbmcHf2byyc
Roaring with grudging admiration after the challengers crushed Kira like it Ain’t No Thang, the FAWNatics lent their voices to Nick Castle’s count once Chadwick folded the ravaged Russian in half with a Back Press good for…
ONE…
TWO...
THRNOOO!
Refusing to accept G-Thang’s sentencing, America’s future 9th Circuit of Appeals justice dove through the ropes and broke the count with less than a second to spare, shoving Chadwick off her fellow colluder.
With all four women in the ring, Castle tried to regain control, hooking the elbow of his most consistent culprit, Lockwood. The True American spun Nick in a sweeping pirouette, square-dance style, flinging the man into the charging Mendoza. The two crashed into each other at close to full speed, each ending on their back, staring blankly at the rafters.
As Polly smiled at her good work, pointing an index finger at her right temple to prove she’s Collusion’s brain trust and ‘powerful beautiful wall’, Ginnifer threw a Chopblock into the back of the blonde’s left knee, forcing Lockwood to genuflect, Polly screeching in pain. The Gorgeous One was back to her feet in an instant and whipped a soccer-style kick into the back of Lockwood’s skull, sending Polly flopping to her face.
Gin Blossom stepped toward the Babyfaced Killer, perhaps considering reviving her partner, but she caught the movement of Koslova out of the corner of her eye. With Kira seated on the canvas, trying to clear her head, Chadwick approached from her foe’s six. She grabbed the Russian’s left arm, lifting and folding the appendage in a Hammerlock. The blonde pivoted, rolling the Red Menace to her chest. She leaned back while driving a knee between Kira’s shoulderblades.
Her Gorgeous Hammerlock applied in a seeming attempt to dislocate the Russian’s elbow, Ginnifer yanked back savagely until Kira’s steely façade was broken, the redhead enthusiastically tapping the canvas, unable to survive the challenger’s finishing touch.
GORGEOUS HAMMERLOCK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSIes0jz_n0
Unfortunately for G-Thang, Castle was still on the mental mend. He’s propped up on his palms, rattling his braincase to bring his full set of senses back into play.
Chadwick called out to Nick so he could witness Koslova beating the mat furiously but she couldn’t burn through Nick’s fog and finally tossed Kira aside. Koslova cradled her injured limb close, rolling to the mat’s edge while Ginnifer slapped Castle on the back of his head disdainfully.
“Wake up, turd!” she shouted.
Castle turned and angrily threatened to disqualify G-Thang if Ginnifer touched him again. The man tempted fate, Chadwick’s face flushing.
“You…would…what?” Gin Blossom stuttered.
Beside Castle, Polly and Gabby were also emerging from their respective stupors and Ginnifer helped Mendoza reach her feet just ahead of Polly. Gabby, wanting payback on the Trumpeter, charged the wobbly ‘patriot’ and, as she’s about to level Lockwood with a forearm shiver, Polly pulled the risen Castle in front of her.
Thankfully for Nick and the G-crew, Gabby’s able to pull her punch a few inches from Castle’s chin. The ref slid to the side, leaving the cowering Lockwood in range. The Star Spangled Bytch raised a plaintive palm, but the lovely Latina wasn’t having it, NAILING Polly with hammer blow after hammer blow until Lockwood’s back bumps against a set of buckles.
Mendoza turned from the dazed blonde to see Ginnifer had Kira up and in a similar position in the opposite corner. The challengers nodded and sent the champs racing toward each other with simultaneous Irish Whips. The careless colluders RAMMED into each other mid-ring and were sent staggering away from the Collusion collision back from whence they came, where Gabby shot forward and decked Polly with a running Dropkick while the gorgeous Ginnifer planted Koslova on the mat with a raised knee to the chest.
G-Thang seemed unsure how to accept the loud approval of the FAWNatics as they hovered over their flattened foes. With a respite in the violence, Castle tried to take charge, ushering Mendoza back to her corner, Chadwick demanding to know why he didn’t roll the garbage that was Polly Lockwood out of the squared circle first. With Gabby in place, Nick proceeded toward doing just that.
Snatching a handful of auburn locks, Gin Blossom tugged Kira to her feet and walked her to the ‘G’ corner where she slapped palms with the Terrible Texan.
“Have some fun, Gabs. Putin’s bytch is now your bytch.”
Not wanting to rile Castle further, Chadwick stepped through the ropes in good time, leaving the rubber-legged Koslova to the entering Mendoza.
With Lockwood still on the floor in recovery mode, the Collusion corner was unoccupied and the Babyfaced Killer lined up the reeling Russian with the far buckles. She sent Kira into a sprint with an Irish Whip and followed a few steps behind. Koslova turned and CRASHED into the corner back-first. An instant later, she’s sandwiched by with a leaping splash, Gabby burying the champ beneath her bod.
Pivoting, Mendoza rudely tossed the redhead by, flipping her to the deck, Koslova ending in a demolished single file, an inviting target for a charter flight by the Texan. Gabby scrambled up the corner, reaching the top swiftly and turning to face her ivory-skinned crash pad.
Enjoying the cheers a little too much, Mendoza reveled in the rare support a tick too long as a scaling Polly made it to the apron and shook the ropes enough to cause the bubble-blower to lose her balance.
Gabby dropped from her penthouse perch, wicket split by the wire connecting the ring post to the top buckle. The Latina’s flawless features twisted in agony as she rode the intruding cord. Polly didn’t help the situation, grabbing either ankle and bouncing her foe up and down, driving the wire deeper between her legs.
With Castle laying down the law, Lockwood raised her palms, proclaiming his complaints so much fake news. The Fox&Friendly blonde turned to Kira, her comrade on hands and knees, and demanded the Putinista make her the acting AG of this match. The battered Russian gritted her way to the champ’s home base and dove to tag Lockwood’s extended hand.
Slipping through the ropes as Kira rolled under, Polly snagged the lowered head of the wincing Gabby, corralling it in a Front Facelock and pulling Mendoza forward until her ankles draped over the top ropes on either side of the corner.
“Time to deport your sorry ass back to the Rio Grande,” the True American hisses.
Polly laid out, SPIKING the crown of Gabby’s skull into the thinly-sheathed plywood. Mendoza flipped over after the brutal impact, sliding into a stilled starfish. A grinning Lockwood remained on her back, giving herself an ovation, the FAWNatics silenced by the Star Spangled Bytch.
The red-white-and-blue-clad Lockwood rolled to her chest and took in the demolished Mendoza, the challenger splayed and snoozing. She pushed to hands and knees and crawled to the remains.
“I’ve made this tag division GREAT AGAIN, losers!” she bellowed, before dropping her body across the frame of the Latina for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Ginnifer came in low and fast, the Gorgeous One delivering a heavy Double Axehandle to the nape of Lockwood’s neck with all of a half second to spare.
Polly’s up in a trice, the indignant blonde demanding instant gratification in the form of Chadwick’s prompt deportation. Gin Blossom didn’t argue with Castle’s order to return to her corner, but she made a point to pantomime snapping the champ’s arm with her signature Hammerlock as she took her leave.
“Just wait, bite size!” Chadwick barked. “I’ll make you tap faster than that ginger commie!”
Polly regarded her with narrowed eyes, the Pugnacious Pundit clearly not pleased by the reminder of Kira’s undocumented capitulation. Turning her attention to the prone form of one Gabby Mendoza, Lockwood helped herself to a double handful of the brunette’s dark tresses and peeled her off the mat just long enough to stuff a trio of spiteful Kneelifts into her tummy. With Bazooka Josephine practically doubled over her left knee, Polly leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the Texan’s waist. Once her hands were cinched she turned the both of ‘em toward the challenger’s corner so she could lock eyes with Ginnifer.
“You think this little tramp was humiliated after Lenore dragged her all over the Oil Pit? Wait’ll you see what I have in store!” Chadwick started to reply, but shut up quick when Polly muscled her into the air for what started like a traditional Gutwrench before the champ swung her burden under her right arm and dropped to her butt to THAWHAM Mendoza against the deck with her Fact Check Driver!
FACT CHECK DRIVER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8hoKlOD4Uc
Gabby bounced on impact and might’ve rolled a little closer to her corner if Lockwood hadn’t reached out and snatched a handful of her waistband. “Where do you think you’re going, lib-tard?” Polly teased as she hauled the gaping battler to all fours. Shooting another baleful glare in Chadwick’s direction, the blonde wrenched Mendoza’s head back with one hand and offered the crowd a parade wave with the other. Then she reared back and wedged that cupped hand between the challenger’s thighs to secure a white-knuckled Presidential Handshake!
“AAAAWWWWWW GAAAAWD!” Gabby shrieked in abject anguish as Polly tried to earn a submission in her trunks. “Keep an eye on that brat!” Lockwood said of Chadwick, who’d grown noticeably pale over the last few seconds. “Make sure she doesn’t interfere!”
Already close, Nick Castle dropped to one knee beside the action and asked, “What do you say, Gabby? Need to throw in the towel?”
The Babyfaced Killer answered with a wordless ‘no’ her forehead scraping against the canvas as Polly continued to ravage her nethers. “What’s that?” Polly taunted. “Come on loser, you think you can share my ring? The least you can do is deny like you mean it!” Lockwood emphasized this demand by relinquishing the hair-hold so she could deliver a few tawdry slaps to the brunette’s quaking buttocks.
“Yuuuhhhh… you’re gonna pay for this, Bytch Face.” Gabby said with an obvious quaver in her voice. “I’ll stick my gum in your eye and your face in my OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH STAAAAAAAAHP!”
Polly added her thumb to the hateful handshake, this increased punishment more than enough to raise Mendoza’s right hand off the mat for several moments of indecisive wavering. “Stick that nasty gum where the sun doesn’t shine, chica.” Lockwood sneered. “We both know you’re in for a faceful of Ol’ Glory when this match is ovOOOOOWWW BYTCH!”
Gabby’s shivering hand shot beneath her own torso, grabbed hold of Polly’s flexing fingers and twisted like she meant to snap them off at the first knuckle! The Star Spangled Bytch didn’t much appreciate the resistance, so she crooked her other arm into a ‘V’ and thum-thum-thum-THUMPED a quartet of rough Forearm Smashes across Mendoza’s exposed shoulders. Scowling with disdain as she finally released her prey’s crotch, Polly got to her feet and forced Gabby to do the same with a massive handful of hair. “You’re not on my level!” she barked in the former Lightweight champ’s face. “NO ONE is on my level!” She shoved Mendoza toward the G-Thang corner only to rush by and leave her feet, the pocket-sized powerhouse hooking her hands over Gabby’s jaw to THWHUNK her down on the back of her head and shoulders with a huge Jumping Neckbreaker!
JUMPING NECKBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1SWz_HWggo
Polly bounced to boot-leather, whipped around in a half circle and rushed into the challenger’s side of town just to CRAAACK a gaudy Bytch Slap across Ginnifer’s mouth! Chadwick snarled in rage and came through the ropes only to have her encroachment stuffed by Nick Castle.
“Don’t even think about it, Ginnifer! Stay right where you are!”
“Come on, dammit! Why don’t you give her shyt for slapping me in the WHOOAAANNNNGGGHHH!”
Understandably preoccupied with the official, Gin Blossom didn’t notice Kira Koslova until the redhead grabbed her by the ankles and yanked her off the apron! Cringing at the way Chadwick’s chin collided with the edge, Nick gathered himself quickly enough and shouted, “What do you think you’re doing, Kira? Get back to your side of the ring!”
The Russian flipped him the bird but regretted it almost immediately when Ginnifer stuffed a shoulder into her tummy and BWANGED her lower back into the steel guardrail!
Castle cursed, would’ve gone through the ropes then and there if Polly hadn’t snapped, “Hey! Action’s in here, moron! I don’t need you getting distracted at a time like this!” Satisfied she had the ref’s attention (and really, how could she not?) Lockwood bent down and filled her hands with Mendoza’s hair, all the better to haul her off the ma--
Gabby swatted the blonde’s claws away and tagged her with a back-handed Bytch Slap that earned the Texan one of the loudest pops of her career. “Keep your filthy hands offa me bytch fa--”
Polly interrupted with a vicious kick aimed at Mendoza’s trunks but the Babfaced Killer caught her by the ankle with an inch or so to spare. Eyes wide, Lockwood waved her hands ‘no, no, no!’ a plea for leniency that ended the moment Mendoza pulled her foot up almost to chest-level just to toss it back down. Gabz dropped to one knee as she did so, meaning that Polly’s forehead THONKED off the newly-posted joint.
ATOMIC JAWBREAKER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ARX2uSg6dk
The Pernicious Patriot bounced back on her heels and swung around in a woozy half circle that pointed her toward the challenger’s corner. Gabby only let her make it a step or two before she reached out and seized hold of the blonde’s right wrist and pulled it snug across Lockwood’s tummy. Then Mendoza pulled the ripcord to spin Polly around thus putting her in perfect position when Gabby somersaulted forward and THWHACKED the heel of her right foot into the bridge of Lockwood’s nose! Polly hit the deck in a flat sprawl so Mendoza stuffed her biceps into the pits of the champ’s knees and folded her in half with a Matchbook good for the…
RIPCORD KOPPU KICK:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I72ls6kAxdQ
ONE…
TWO…
THRENOOOOOOOO!
Kira dove under the bottom rope and shoved the brunette from her perch with half a second to spa--
Ginnifer caught the meddling Russian by the ankles and dragged her back to the floor with a single convulsive YANK!
Gabz pounded a frustrated fist against the mat, though she felt a little better when a glance at the outside told her Gin Blossom was putting the boots to Koslova. Nodding her approval, Gabby slapped the back of Polly’s noggin a few times and muttered, “Time to burst your delusional little bubble, bytch face.”
Lockwood muttered a curse, so Mendoza slapped her again, then got up and hurried to the G-Thang corner, where she sprang from mat to top turnbuckle in a single bound. Settled down in a crouch facing the ring, she didn’t stand until Lockwood managed to rise perhaps five seconds later. She leapt when Polly turned, the brunette stuffing raised knees into the blonde’s chest just as she laced her hands around Lockwood’s head and laid out on her back to DESTROY the Star Spangled Bytch with a diving Burst Your Bubble.
DIVING BURST YOUR BUBBLE:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWiVhHfw62w
Polly shot straight into the air and landed flat on her back, not that the FAWNatics got much chance to appreciate the brand new crater because Gabby pounced across her chest and hooked the far leg for…
ONE…
TWO…
But before the third slap of palm to canvas could occur, the boot at the end of a long, lean leg RAMS into Mendoza’s left temple, sending the lovely Latina flopping off the demolished Lockwood, Polly not even having flinched to save herself.
Castle hopped to her feet wide-eyed. Likewise, the FAWNatics sat in stunned silence watching Mariel McGinty hover over both the stilled Star Spangled Bytch and the mewling Mendoza.
MARIEL MCGINTY:
VALERIE STIPANOVIC:
On the outside, the two-front war was opened when Valerie Stipanovic whistled to Ginnifer from behind, drawing Chadwick’s attention from stomping the Russian into borscht, and directly into a sweeping Spin Kick connecting cleanly with the side of the blonde’s head. Ginnifer pirouetted from the impact, ending flat on her back in a glassy-eyed haze.
Nick seemed to consider his options for a moment but quickly decided he has no other choice, calling for the bell.
As he moved to the ropes, shouting at the timekeeper, the towering blonde was poised behind a slowly rising and quite confused Gabby. The Terrible Texan turned into Mariel’s revenge. McGinty surged toward the tawny-skinned challenger, leaping as she reached her target. Her right leg BANGED into Gabby’s collarbone and Mariel rode her rival down to the mat with her Gam Changer.
GAM CHANGER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1gFVWBx4Bw
Mendoza was BLASTED by the leggy finisher, the Babyfaced Killer SPASMING WILDLY from the impact before falling still next to the seated and smiling ‘Legs’.
On the outside, her brunette counterpart waited patiently for a dizzied Ginnifer to push off the thinly-padded concrete. As soon as Gin Blossom reached vertical, she’s gutted with a Toe Kick, Val impaling her from long-range with those celebrated stems. With Chadwick bent at the waist, Stipanovic put it in reverse a few steps then came back to G-Money, lifting her left leg high over the back of Chadwick’s neck, and PLANTING Ginnifer’s face into the floor with a brutal Famelegger that leaves Gin Blossom a shuddering wreck under Val’s long tawny gam.
FAMELEGGER:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqH5RD03OdU
With the crowd torn between cheers and confusion, they finally revved to a supportive hum when Valerie rose and slipped into the ring, corralling her partner in a warm embrace.
Leggs, Inc. hugged it out while the Ring Announcer confirmed Castle’s decision.
“Your winners, by disqualification are Gabby Mendoza and Ginnifer Chadwick…G-THANG! But still retaining the FAWN Tag team titles…COLLUSION!”
The masses seemed less happy with the official results than with Mariel and Valerie taking out their frustration on the Gs for aborting their looming tag title win at the previous Pay-Per-View. The Queens of the Ring tourney champs towered over the splayed bodies of Polly and Gabby, while outside the confines, only Kira had any sense of things having taken a severe left turn. The Russian climbed to her feet at the apron’s edge and stareed in disbelief at what she sees.
Handed both belts by an attendant, she carefully rolled in under the bottom rope, popping to her feet, ready for an attack by the team Collusion edged at Chills. But Leggs, Inc. seemed more than happy to concentrate on pushing boot soles into Mendoza’s prone form, making sure the Latina’s eventually aware how karma was a bigger bytch than her.
Placing the titles at her feet, Kira advanced toward the stirring Polly, palms extended, trying to make sure Leggs knew she’s not her usual threatening Russian bear of a redhead. She genuflected on reaching her comrade and grabbed Polly’s ankle, then rose and gently tugged Lockwood to the corner nearest Collusion’s gilded girdles.
Once out of range of the long lower limbs of McGinty and Stipanovic, Koslova helped Polly to her feet, clueing the True American in that they’ve lost the match but they’re still champs. Polly drew her title close to her chest, seemingly satisfied she’s still a champion. Meanwhile, Mariel and Val hauled the still wobbly bubble-blower to her feet.
“Guess you should have let us win,” McGinty informed. “We would have given you the next shot.”
“But I guess she knew they couldn’t beat us, Mare,” Valerie added.
McGinty nodded as she started to scoop Mendoza off the canvas on the Latina’s left side while the long-legged brunette did likewise on the right, Gabby going bug-eyed as she’s vaulted, shaking her head in pleading fashion, headed for a dual Powe Slam to the canvas.
But before the partners could plant the Babyfaced Killer THROUGH the deck, Collusion, with their faceplates bared, rammed the gold into the lower spine of the Incorporated duo. Mendoza fell to the canvas in relative safety, collapsing to her haunches.
Both Queens of the Ring arched in pain from the sneak attack by the champions. But blonde and brunette were not down and they turned to face off with the sweat-soaked champs. It’s not much of a Mexican standoff as Polly and Kira showed their qualities include first-rate backstabbing, leaping at Leggs, this time DRIVING the gold between the eyes of each interloper.
Mariel and Valerie were knocked flat to the canvas by the collision of metal to cranium, out cold in stereo spreadeagles, inside hands touching the other, inside ankles crossing.
An angry wave of jeers echoed through the arena as it’s Collusion’s turn to loiter over demolished foes, Polly barking at the impudence of the HGH-fueled freaks. An entering Ginnifer scooped her arms under those of a relieved Gabby, lifting her partner and easing back a step or two to make sure the colluders didn’t plan to use the shiny weapons on them.
When Lockwood motioned toward the splayed Leggs, it didn’t take even a split-second for Mendoza to respond to the cue and leap to a straddle of the flattened McGinty, sinking in a pair of claws to Mariel’s modest rack to bring her around. For her part, a more wary Ginnifer steps her boot sole on Valerie’s throat while keeping a close eye on the opportunistic allies, Stems choking back to life even as the searing pain in her bosom resuscitates Legs.
The crowd levels its displeasure at the two hated teams who, moments before had been at each other’s throats. Now Collusion watched with fascination and not a little bit of pleasure as G-Thang works over another set of recent challengers to Polly and Kira’s throne.
The cascading jeers parted like an audible Red Sea as another pair of grapplers raced down the ramp, turning the fans’ anger to hope. America’s Sweetheart’s, Skye Mitchell and Charlie Dawson, sprinted to the ring and slid under the ropes in unison in their jaunty battle gear.
SKYE MITCHELL:
CHARLIE DAWSON:
They popped to their feet, the champions already backpedaling to the far ropes, brandishing their belts in a defensive posture. The Gs were slower to respond, still enjoying their ‘fun’ with Leggs, Inc. until the last second. They paid for this lapse as the Sweethearts NAILED the rising Gabby and Ginnifer with a set of right crosses then nimbly intercept the return fire of G-Thang. Skye popped the chops of Gabby again, sending Mendoza’s gum flying, and Charlie pounded Gin Blossom for a second straight.
The beloved duo continue to block and blast three, four, five times until stereo bolo punches send Gabby and Ginnifer back-flipping over the top cable and tumbling to the floor below.
To the side, taking all of it in, Collusion watched calmly but carefully as Mitchell and Dawson battered the team that took them out of the Queens of the Ring tourney.
With the Gs ejected, the Sweethearts immediately turned their attention to Polly and the Red Menace, fists raised. But the True American and her colluding cohort showed no interest in taking on the badass cuties. Dropping their belts over a shoulder, each champ raised their palms to the newcomers, making clear they don’t want any part of the Sweethearts.
“They’re all yours, ladies,” Lockwood assured, motioning to the stirring Leggs. “Make sure they thank you because I don’t think the Gs had a lot of charity in their hearts for those freaks of nature.”
Polly ducked her way through the ropes, Kira covering her partner’s six before dipping through herself, both women dropping to the floor. They took a moment to admire the mess Skylar and Charlie had made of Gabby and Ginnifer and headed for the back, technically losers to G-Thang but going home with the big prizes in their possession.
Bodies unclenching as they watched Collusion walk away from the fight, the Sweethearts took a glance at the Gs, both seated and massaging their jaws. Surmising they’ll want nothing more, Skye and Charlie moved to Leggs, Inc. the long leggy grapplers each taking a knee to steady themselves. Dawson offered a hand to Valerie and Mitchell the same to Mariel, Leggs looking up with some trepidation at the comparatively tiny warriors.
The FAWNatics, already cheering the Sweetehearts’ success in routing the baddies and saving Leggs, raised their volume as the united front came to fruition. McGinty and Stipanovic shared a side glance then nodded to each other, then to the Sweethearts, accepting their offer. FAWN’s beloved help Leggs, Inc, to their towering height.
When, out of nowhere, the unending right legs of Mariel and Val shot forward, gutting the benevolent beauties. The impaled Sweethearts were doubled and gasping in front of the steely-eyed Leggs. McGinty stepped to Mitchell and Stems to Dawson, the Incorporated twosome wrapping up each of America’s girls in a Front Facelock. Instantly, they laid out to the canvas, SPIKING the crown of each Sweetheart’s skull into the canvas, Skye and Charlie flipping after the impact and landing in wide spreadeagles.
The silenced crowd turned to raucous boos when the unapologetic Leggs rose and walked sternly to the boot soles of the decked saviors. Mariel scooped up Skylar’s ankles and Valerie did the same with Charlie’s.
“Did we ask you for shyt?” McGinty shouted at the glassy eyes of her captured brunette.
“Little girls should stay out of big fights,” Valerie yelled. “Maybe you’ll learn that.”
Leggs each tossed one Sweetheart leg aside and pirouetted around the other, bending the much shorter stem around their own. They dropped to the canvas, bending then locking the gams of the Sweethearts in the familiar figure of four.
As Valerie and Mariel grabbed the straight leg of the woman of their choice and drop flat to the canvas, Skye and Charlie screamed out in pain. Propping on their elbows, Mitchell and Dawson tugged at their own locks to spread the agony, yelping and pleading “WHY?” toward the sneering Leggs.
FIGURE FOUR SCISSORS @ 00:27
www.youtube.com/watch?v=E53mzsiSPbc
“Don’t even!” Mariel bellowed. “You need to stay where you belong…in the back. We’ve got the spotlight covered!”
Simultaneously, Val and Mariel bridged their Figure-4s into Figure-8s and, after biting their lips and holding their tongues for a few seconds, the Sweethearts slapped the canvas in unison, tapping frantically, squealing at Leggs, Inc. to please release them. Only after a good dozen seconds do Mariel and Valerie relent, unhooking their lauded legs from those of the Sweethearts.
McGinty and Stipanovic rose to a sound they’d never heard, billowing boos, but they were far more intent on making sure they’ve made their point with America’s girls. As Skylar and Charlie clenched at their aching lower limbs, apparently nothing more seems needed.
Leggs, Inc. turned, kicking mock dust behind them on the mewling cavalry turned victims.
Having made the point no team, loved or hated, would stand in the way of the Queens, Leggs took their leave, America’s Sweethearts and many a FAWN fan’s heart left in their wake.