Post by dsb on Dec 19, 2018 21:20:07 GMT
Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries rushes over FAWN Arena like an icy tidal wave (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGU1P6lBW6Q ) and Ingrid Halstrom pushes through the curtain, a ball of blonde motion, the bigger Kolina Naslund right behind her. The flaxen-haired beauties receive a warm welcome from the crowd.
INGRID HALSTROM
KOLINA NASLUND
The Swedish Duo dazzle with their looks but they’ve shown themselves to be much more hence tonight’s golden opportunity.
Stopping at the top of the ramp, Ingrid throws her arms in the air and when the next "BOOM" happens in the song the tiny Viqueen throws them down. Loud pyro blasts explode on the sides of the stage, while Kolina stands watch on Ingrid’s six, palms on her smaller partner’s shoulders.
The ring announcer tries to make himself heard over the classical chords.
“Our next match is for the FAWN Tag Team titles. Introducing, at a combined weight of 244 pounds of pure Swedish Sex appeal…the challengers…from Halstad Sweden… Ingrid Halstrom! And her partner from Stockholm Sweden…Kolina Naslund…The Swedish Bikini Team!”
Ingrid and Kolina wear matching white bikinis with sliver heart shaped connectors at the hips and between their breasts, with white boots. Their pads are Swedish flags. Halstrom’s long blonde hair is pulled back in a fighting ponytail, Kolina’s hair hangs loose around her shoulders. The Swedes stride down the aisle, slapping the outstretched hands of the fans along the rails. Reaching the ring, they circle in opposite directions, greeting many of the fans. Ingrid stops short as she finds a fan with a sign for her. Excited, Ingrid literally bounces as she reads, “THE VIQUEENS WILL DISCOVER GOLD!”
Ingrid gives her supporter a big hug, which will likely lead to many more signs for next time. She rolls under the bottom rope, popping to her feet. Halsrtom steps on the bottom rope and leans far over the top, saluting the crowd. Kolina enters with a hop over the cables. Ingrid turns slapping Naslund’s shoulder and they swap places, Ingrid on watch as Kolina waves to the crowd.
Ingrid moves to the Bikini Team’s corner allowing the referee to check her pads and boots. Kolina then takes her turn with the referee. Pat down completed, they turn their gaze toward the imminent arrival of the champions.
With the scantily-clad Scandinavians waiting in the squared circle for their futile chance at gold, the crowd cranes toward the upper stage to welcome the Ugly American and her colluding comrade.
When the arena’s speakers spark to life with the pounding of “America, Fuck Yeah” from Team America World Police, the assembled are brought to life as with shock therapy.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8 )
Blue America’s least favorite, little blonde antagonist strides to center stage. Beside her is the woman she’d introduced to the big time and who now stands with her as a champion, Kira Koslova. The Fox&Friendly blonde and her Putinista lord over the proletariat with their golden championships slung over a shoulder.
POLLY LOCKWOOD
KIRA KOSLOVA
Each woman raises her trophy high and scattered ‘Polly Patriots’, though more than before they gained the titles, shoot to their feet in delight. The few and the proud salute Polly, her partner and their anthem crisply, even as the majority of the crowd make themselves known in a completely different fashion, raining a cascade of boos toward the obnoxious Trumpeter and her Russian hooligan.
The flaxen-haired hardbody brings a salute to her brow to signal her troops then lets the snowflakes know what she thinks of them by fashioning the knife-edge into a salute of the middle finger variety.
The self-proclaimed True American is in her battle fatigues, Polly proudly sporting her customary hot pants and bikini top. Lockwood alternates her country’s colors between a shiny, eye catching blue topside, white stars prominently placed in the appropriate spots; and shimmering red and white-striped spandex below, the space age polymer barely covering her biscuit butt. She finishes the ensemble with gleaming white pads and boots.
Lockwood has her customary cape, Old Glory, draped over her shoulders.
She turns and accepts her new partner in a literal Russian bear hug. As the crowd’s jeers rise in volume, the duo separate and start down the ramp to their next challenge.
Kira throws off a full length grey fur coat and white wool hat to reveal a simple red one piece, with one unusual aspect — a cutout pattern displaying a portion of Kira’s tanned, toned abdomen in the form of a hammer and sickle, Koslova ready to embrace her roots even more forcefully than her hero, President Vlad. White pads and boots, the footwear with red hammer-and-sickles, complete the rookie’s attire. Polly tosses away the Star-n-Stripes as they move toward the ring.
Arm in arm, the international team march confidently down the ramp and aisle, Polly occasionally jawing with the fans, who’ve obviously watched too much CNN, while Koslova is a picture of former Soviet stoicism, ignoring the hate emanating from the FAWNatics.
Reaching the ring, an excited Lockwood seems energized next to her powerful ally, bouncing with nervous vitality. The Russian leads her veteran teammate up the steps as the announcer makes their introduction official.
“And their opponents...hailing from Buffalo, New York and St. Petersburg, Russia, respectively, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty pounds…the FAWN tag team champions…Polly Lockwood and Kira Koslova, together they commit COLLUSION!”
Anyone expecting the blonde to demand her less experienced partner to widen the ropes for her entry is caught off guard when Polly is deferential to her comrade. Sitting on the middle cable, she pushes up the top for Koslova, who enters and claims the middle of the ring.
Polly, with microphone in hand, quickly joins her partner.
“Shut your mouths!” she shouts. No such luck for the Star Spangled Bytch.
“Is it any surprise the favorite daughters of the two greatest countries on earth combine to claim the tag team championships?!”
Again, each woman raises a belt high. Even with the evidence, the assembled don’t seem to agree, burying the duo in deluge of disparagement.
“Those hicks from the sticks were NO match for us,” Polly continues. “We brushed the Hellions aside like the losers they are. And you lucky people now get to witness true greatness. You’re welcome.”
Lockwood turns her attention to the challengers.
“And while our country should welcome legal immigrants like these two fine examples of blonde, blue-eyed pulchritude, there’s nothing in the Constitution that says we can’t beat them down like rented reindeer when they are allowed entry into the country. So let Donner and Blitzen have their chance before they’re put down.”
Polly tosses the stick aside with a CLUNK, and moves to her corner, Koslova covering the True American’s bubble-butt backside.
Lockwood doesn’t stop for any conversation. She steps through the ropes and takes her position as the Russian redhead’s back-up. In the opposite corner, the Swedes decide to counter-program. Instead of meeting the bigger Kira with power, throwing Kolina into battle, it’s the more accomplished but smaller Ingrid moving to the middle and she starts to circle when the bell rings.
Polly’s comrade doesn’t dawdle, chasing after the rotating blonde. As the corners get smaller for each successive escape, Halstrom finally looks for a collar-and-elbow, but ducks underneath the hook-up at the last second and slides behind Koslova. Halstrom wraps her arms around Kira in a waistlock. Ingrid ducks under a couple swinging elbows and moves alongside her foe, slapping on a side headlock.
It takes only a few seconds for Kira to get her hands on the Swede’s hips and shove her foe into a sprint. Halstrom rebounds out of the ropes and baseball slides between the legs of the stationed Koslova. The Bikini Team member hops to her feet on the other side, turns, and ducks under a blind spin kick from the Colluder. With Kira’s pirouette complete, Ingrid reapplies the side headlock she had initially and races forward, dragging Koslova for the trip.
The Swede leaps, legs extended, and sits out, driving the champion’s face into the canvas with a snappy bulldog. Ingrid shoves Kira to her back and climbs atop her in a crossbody pin for the…
ONE…
The Russian throws the diminutive blonde off her chest with significant force, Halstrom popped into the air, the blonde landing on her knees next to the champ. But Ingrid doesn’t seem impressed, rising to her feet and skipping over the downed Koslova. She hits the ropes and returns, vaulting into a front flip, lightly tanned legs circling like a pair of scythes toward Kira’s throat and chest. But the leg drops come up empty when Kira manages to roll from under, Ingrid spiking her tailbone into the unforgiving, canvas-covered plywood.
Kira clambers to her boot soles and lines up a soccer kick to the bountiful chest of the seated Bikini Teamer. However, the pendulum-like swing doesn’t find the target when Ingrid drops to her back and lets the boot swoosh over her body. Off balance from the swing-and-miss, Koslova’s tripped up by Halstrom with a drop toe hold from the one-time Eurasian champion and the scrappy Scandinavian climbs atop Kira’s back, deftly securing a double armbar on the befuddled Kira.
From the sidelines, a steaming Polly finally lets loose, demanding Kira get her act together and demolish the gorgeous Swede. The usually stoic Russian grunts in effort, legs pumping against but mostly over the canvas with her arms captured. She finds no purchase.
Reveling in the control, Ingrid gives up her dual armbars for grips on each of the redhead’s wrists. Halstrom crosses the arms under Kira’s chin and wriggles into a seated straddle just above Koslova’s waist. Yanking back on her ‘handles’, the Bikini Teamer takes her Straightjacket Camel Clutch out for a spin, bending the Russian’s backbone in an ever-growing arch, a grimacing Kira forced to stare into the rafters as Ingrid calls for the ref to offer surrender terms.
“NYET!” comes the emphatic replay to the official.
Unable to force the submission, Ingrid transitions from her Clutch, moving her feet forward, placing them behind Kira’s auburn locks and securing a surfboard hold, torturing her foe’s arms more than her back. Still the Colluder won’t offer testimony under the painful Swedish subpoena. Ingrid finally releases her grips and THUMPS Koslova’s face into the deck with a modified, less ardent curbstomp.
She dismounts the battered Putinista, grabs a wrist, and tugs Kira to her feet, whipping her to the Swedes corner where Koslova turns into a heavy collision with the buckles. Ingrid is close behind, splashing her tanned frame into the wincing face and bruised body of the Russian. Keeping her foe pinned with her pressing pulchritude, Ingrid tags Kolina over the titleholder’s shoulder and waits for her partner to enter.
With Polly screaming in protest, both Bikini Teamers move Kira down the ropes and fling her to the opposite cables with a double Irish Whip. The blondes follow after the Russian, inner hands laced and locked with a double clothesline that rips Kira off her feet on her return trip and places her heavily on the mat below the hovering Swedes. The challengers simultaneously drop elbows, sending a pained flinch through the St. Petersburg native.
While Ingrid heads for the exit upon rising, lightly scolded by the referee for the double team, Kolina lies atop Koslova, hooking a leg as part of her lateral press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Kira kicks free from Naslund’s effort to make the veteran Bikini Teamers first-time tag champions.
Kolina slips in behind Kira when the Russian makes it to a seated position and she snakes a rib-crunching body scissors around her foe’s midriff, slipping a half nelson on for good measure topside. The power partner of the challengers, the Stockholm native, flexes her alabaster thighs, keeping Kira in pain and under pressure. First, Koslova vainly tries to pry her way free, but a rake of her nails down the thighs of the Scandinavian works much better, unlocking Koslova from her confinement.
Both blonde and redhead push to their feet and Kolina looks to separate the champ’s head from her shoulders with a clothesline. Kira dips under and staggers to her partner, slapping palms with the Pernicious Patriot and bringing Lockwood in for the first time.
Not used to being the partner to pick up Collusion’s fortunes against domineering opponents, Polly enters cautiously and seems none too interested in taking on the bigger blonde, Lockwood demanding the official keep Kolina back even when he has no legal reason. Instead, the striped shirt motions the legal women together and Naslund is not shy.
The True American dips low as the Swede advances, Lockwood shooting for a single-leg pickup. The vertically-challenged, blonde hardbody reaches her goal and encircles Kolina’s left leg. Polly starts to lift but receives a double axehandle between her shoulderblades before she can test her strength. Lockwood’s back arches from the force of the impact, a moaning Polly leaving an opening for Naslund to wrap her arms around the taut, tanned tummy of the little robobabe.
Flipping the Star-Spangled Bytch in an airborne barrel roll in front of her, Kolina genuflects and RAMS Polly’s lower vertebrae across bended knee with a Pendulum Backbreaker.
Pendulum Backbreaker (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyC26Rsy1gc )
Lockwood’s spine is curved all the more when Kolina presses down on either side of Polly after the backbone-bashing collision, Lockwood pleading with the official to check Naslund’s green card, insisting the Bikini Teamer literally isn’t a legal competitor and that she should be released from the mistreatment.
Kolina doesn’t seem to care for being called an illegal alien. She pulls her hands together, lacing her fingers, and SLAMS a double axhandle into the tanned tummy of the True American. Polly jackknifes atop the plank of Naslund’s upper leg, blue-gray eyes bulging. Naslund shoves the diminutive hardbody off, Lockwood collapsing to the canvas and rolling into a ball to protect her bruised belly.
Taking some liberty with the Pernicious Patriot, Kolina delves a set of digits into Polly’s shoulder-length, honey-blonde locks and hauls the squealing Colluder to her feet. Lockwood reaches an arm toward Koslova vainly, her Russian savior a dozen feet away. Instead Polly’s led to the Swede’s corner by the scruff of the neck. Naslund reaches out and tags the speed of the Bikini Teamers back into the match.
As Halstrom rises up the buckles, Kolina dips and scoops Polly onto a shoulder then BODY SLAMS Lockwood to the thinly-sheathed plywood, the Star-Spangled Bytch arching in pain from the impact on her spine. Naslund backs to her corner and Ingrid moves her perch from the top buckle upward to her partner’s shoulders. It’s from there she leaps into a perfectly-placed senton splash across the already battered midriff of the Fox&Friendly blonde.
Polly spasms as if she’s been attached to 10,000 volts, a rib maybe broken from the looks of the spastic carrying on. The former Eurasian champion seems uninterested by the possible theatrics. She pops to a handstand next to the splayed, fidgeting Polly, turns deftly and drops in a splash, tummy to tummy, across the flattened MAGAlicious bytch. Ingrid hooks a leg on the moaning Lockwood for the…
ONE…
TWO…
The future Circuit Court Judge kicks out of the pin, flopping to her side. Halstrom, on her haunches, takes a glance at the official and receives the international symbol for ‘THIS CLOSE’. She nods and rises to her feet at Polly’s boot soles. The Scandinavian snatches up each of Polly’s ankles, turning Lockwood to her back, and spreads the abbreviated stems wide.
“No…no…no,” Polly pleads, her extended palms ‘washing windows’. “That’s illegal in this country. We’re not savages like in Sweden.”
Ingrid’s face turns sour.
“No,” she growls. “You’re all spoiled brats.”
Leaping, Halstrom extends her legs within those of Lockwood and keeps things above board if not above the waist, leg dropping the inner thighs of the Patriot, pounding her upper legs and stretching her foe’s groin muscles. Lockwood sits up from the force of the blow, face etched in pain, hands moving to her inner thighs. Ingrid lifts and folds her lower limbs and shoots them into a stomp of Polly’s pert bosom, flattening the Flag Waver to the deck, a wincing Lockwood, swaddling her bruised breasts.
With the Bikini Teamers routing their rivals, the busty little blonde of the team takes a brief celebratory stroll, the crowd roaring its approval but also noticeably concerned with the accumulating recovery time for Polly. Still, Ingrid returns to Lockwood with the Yank still on her knees. She draws Polly to vertical then slips an arm between Lockwood’s legs. Ingrid ‘hups’ the Trumptastic blonde across her shoulders in a fireman’s carry and walks the weakly squirming Lockwood to center stage.
But before she can crush the Flag Waver with a Samoan Drop, Polly rams a series of elbows into Ingrid’s temple. Lockwood slides down her foe’s back, instantly snatching Halstrom’s shoulders from behind. FAWN’s Ugly American tucks her knees into the Swede’s shoulderblades as she lays out and blows Ingrid’s considerable lungs in the process, the Bikini Teamer blasted.
Lung Blower (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTCuQ9O1Qlw )
Ingrid ends on her back, grimacing as she reaches for the base of her spine. Lockwood isn’t in a condition to take full advantage of the turn of events, but she knows who is and pushes to all fours. Crawling to her favorite Russian redhead, Polly dives to the tag and Kira slides through the ropes, putting the boots to a rising Ingrid when the Putinista reaches her.
Still, the tough little blonde makes it to vertical and pays for it when the stone-faced Rooskie BURIES a toe kick deep into Ingrid’s tanned tummy. Doubled over, Koslova captures one arm of her foe then the other in double underhooks. Dipping slightly, Kira shows off her considerable power, sending the Bikini Teamer through a front flip with a Butterfly Suplex that delivers Ingrid to the deck with ring-rattling force.
Butterfly Suplex (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ajjp5D63YQ )
Before Halstrom even skids to a stop, Kira is spinning on a shoulder and popping to her feet. She’s ahead of the blonde’s pained rise and sets in Halstrom’s blind spot until the Scandinavian turns in her direction. Ingrid nearly gets her head torn off her body with a discus clothesline from the Russian assassin. The back of Ingrid’s braincase BANGS against the canvas, the Bikini Teamer folded in a matchbook from the force of the blow before springing into a wide spreadeagle at the base of the Colluder’s feet.
Koslova places a boot in the cleft of Ingrid’s bosom for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Halstrom shoves Kira’s foot off her chest and sits up. The Russian turns into a side kick aimed at the blonde’s considerable cleavage, but Ingrid lays flat and lets the leg swing by, grabbing it as it misses her with a couple inches to spare.
Ingrid yanks the off-balance Koslova off her feet and into a tight small package for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Kira pops free and to her feet, immediately confirming with the official she hasn’t been snookered into a loss. Lockwood scolds the Russian redhead with disapproving eyes, Polly not ready or willing to get verbal with her partner in crime.
With Halstrom rising, Kira moves in and corrals the blonde beauty in a tight side headlock, wrenching away on neck and cranium. Racing toward the Swedes’ corner with Ingrid in tow, Kira seems as though she’s bringing Halstrom back like she’s returning a gift. But she surprises the wide-eyed Naslund when she leaps through the middle and top rope on the opposite side of the post as Kolina and SLAMS Ingrid’s forehead into the middle buckle with a modified bulldog.
Turnbuckle Bulldog (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhIIQ65-QFU )
Sitting on the middle rope, Kira turns a steely blue gaze to the powerpacked Bikini Teamer and motions toward her busty partner.
“Take her place,” Koslova informs. “Eet weel not matter.”
As the Red Menace twists her way back into the ring, she watches impassively as a shellshocked Ingrid crawls to tag Naslund, Kolina entering carefully as Halstrom flops to her side and rolls under the ropes, collapsing to the floor with a thud.
A flustered Lockwood can hold her tongue no longer.
“What the hell are you doing?” she whines at her partner, wondering out loud why she would give Naslund the chance to replace her flagging teammate.
Kira holds up a hand and closes fingers to thumb. Polly’s mouth goes shut, the Star Spangled Bytch snorting in frustration and relative silence.
Naslund and Koslova close the gap between them. While neither is of Pandora-sized proportions, each represent the power of their teams, the Swede the bigger of the two. The women come together in a collar-and-elbow, eager to show what they’ve got.
It’s a stalemate at first before Kolina walks back the Russian toward her scowling ‘I told you so’ teammate. But before she can reach Collusion’s corner, Kolina finds Kira’s knee thrust into her midriff. Doubled over and bug-eyed, Naslund groans as Koslova takes possession of her noggin in a side headlock.
With her left arm wrapping tightly around the braincase, Kira grinding the blonde into the side of her chest, the right hand of the Red Menace forms a claw and she plunges the stilettoes into Kolina’s face and forehead, sinking her Iron Claw into the Bikini Teamer’s mug.
Kolina spasms and flails as the shock turns to pain and pressure, Kira flexing her snapper turtle-like grip into Naslund’s noggin. After several seconds of effort to escape are brushed aside by the Colluder, Kolina’s legs are starting to shimmy as the ‘Old School’ maneuver is taking its toll.
The Scandinavian reaches the ropes, her palms wrapping around Kira’s wrist, trying to extricate herself from the grip. Giving up on that method of freedom, Naslund’s hands drops to the redhead’s hips. She shoves Kira toward the opposite ropes and Koslova is sent sprinting away from her power play. With the Colluder from the Kremlin rebounding, Naslund shakes off her daze and races to meet her foe mid-ring. She lifts her right leg, aiming it for Kira’s beestung lips, but Koslova ducks under and heads for another set of cables. She rebounds again and heads for the turning Swede.
Koslova closes in and surges upward when a foot from of her foe with a leaping European Uppercut. The impact swings the Swede’s head back violently, but Kolina keeps her feet, backpedaling to the ropes behind her. Kira charges again, unsheathing her discus clothesline for the second time. This one’s as successful as her first, cracking across Kolina’s collarbone and sending the Bikini Teamer backflipping over the uppermost cable.
Somehow, the scantily-clad Scandinavian remains on the apron, snatching rubber-coated steel to keep herself from the floor. She delivers a forearm blow that catches the jaw of the approaching Russian redhead, Kira wobbling. Kolina tries to slip back into the ring between the top and middle strands and gets caught with a lifted knee from Polly’s best buddy behind the former Curtain.
With Kolina in a daze, half-in and half-out of the ring, Kira hits the ropes to her side and races in, snatching the blonde’s neck when in range and bringing the Bikini Teamer down with a vicious Swinging Neckbreaker from the middle rope.
Swinging Neckbreaker (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F43BMNBd-4 ).
The crowd groans at the ring-rattling collision, Kolina cradling the back of her skull as she absently rolls toward center stage, ending on her chest. Koslova doesn’t waste an instant, moving to a standing forward straddle of her foe. She collects each of Kolina’s arms, tugging them behind her foe and, using them as handles to draw the powerful blonde into an arch, head and upper torso off the canvas.
Placing her right boot behind the head of her rival, Kira takes a silent moment to savor Lockwood’s ‘knew it all the time’ face and CURBSTOMPS Naslund’s features into the unforgiving deck. Flaccid and face down, the blonde’s body shudders and falls still. Kolina drops to her knees next to the semiconscious Swede and shoves Naslund to her back. Leaning forward, she places a palm on Kolina’s navel and another on the cleft of her bosom for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Speeding illegally into play, Ingrid NAILS the Russian with a dropkick that sends Kira sprawling away from her pinfall attempt with a half-second to spare.
As the Star Spangled Bytch threatens a lawsuit against the cheating socialist for her interference, Halstrom kips to her feet and races at Lockwood. The True American drops to the floor to avoid any collateral damage.
Her effort at a two-fer thwarted, Halstrom seems ready to heed the threat of the official and head for home, but a rising Kira proves too much of an inviting target on the way.
Ingrid collects Koslova around the shoulders, grasping her with double underhooks and spinning the Red Menace so Kira’s arms are captured and the crown of her head is pressed between Halstrom’s shoulderblades. Before the Putinista can push free, Ingrid lays out and SPIKES Koslova’s mug into the mat with a brutal facebuster.
Double Underhook Facebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqN-6J8MJWM )
The Russian quakes from the collision before falling still. A satisfied Ingrid, seated next to the demolished Koslova, has but one regret. She’s not legal to pin. As the ref finally, physically guides her out, it becomes a race to see whether the Russian or the Swede wants it more.
The push to vertical is neck and neck, the FAWNatics clapping heartily, encouraging Kolina to rise and make it to Ingrid for a tag. The blonde reaches her feet first, a second ahead of Koslova. She staggers to her partner and dives for a tag a hair’s breadth before Kira does likewise with Polly.
Blonde on blonde violence is afoot as Halstrom and Lockwood enter and race toward each other. Ingrid KNOCKS POLLY FLAT with a clothesline. A stubborn Lockwood shoves back to her feet and turns into ANOTHER, the back of her skull banging off the deck. Slower to rise this time, the Pernicious Patriot wobbles in a stupor as Ingrid approaches from her blind side.
The Bikini Teamer locks on a sneaky full nelson before Polly is fully aware of her whereabouts and Ingrid launches the diminutive hardbody into the air on her hip, SLAMMING her down in ferocious fashion.
Full Nelson Facebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G32UppEo4LA )
Hallstrom pushes the crown of her head into Polly’s side to roll the insensate Lockwood to her back, the True American flopping into a dilapidated starfish, arms and legs wide. Ingrid climbs aboard in a lateral press, hooking a leg for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
The Ugly American shifts a shoulder off the canvas a few inches, the official shouting ‘TWO’ as he jumps to his feet, so close was he to slapping for the third fateful time.
Halstrom hesitates for a moment, coming to grips with how close she’s come to physically indicting the Colluder-in-chief. She grabs a wrist of the All-American dishrag and yanks the flaccid honey-blonder to her feet. The Swede buries a toe kick into Lockwood’s tummy, doubling Polly at the waist.
Wrapping an arm around the back of her foe’s neck while slinging a limp arm of Polly over hers, Ingrid vaults the Star Spangled Bytch into the air, popping Lockwood over her right shoulder while keeping hold of the Fox&Friendly blonde’s noggin. The Bikini Teamer sits out, jarring Polly to the core with her signature Runebuster.
Runebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58HkLIk8T_o )
Lockwood rockets away from the impact, the crowd roaring before Polly touches ground in a limp spreadeagle a few feet away from the seated Swede.
Sensing victory, Ingrid scrambles to the splayed Polly and dives across her foe’s chest, scissoring one arm and planting the other at the wrist with both hands for the…
ONE…
TWO…
There’s no movement from the True American’s shoulders but no THREE either. A confused Halstrom turns to find a limp leg of Lockwood draped over the bottom rope, Kira standing directly outside, the redhead’s arms at her sides, visage stone-faced.
Ingrid motions toward Kira and the ref asks if the Russian has partaken in any shenanigans. She shakes her head despite the urgent accusations from the crowd and Kolina.
Still, Polly’s in a bad state and she’s easily tugged off the rope and to the middle of the ring by a wrist. The former Eurasian champ hauls the lethargic Lockwood to her feet.
The Scandinavian again guts Polly with a toe kick to bend her at the waist. Halstrom tugs Lockwood’s lowered head between her thighs, clamping down with a scissors while wrapping her arms around the tanned tummy of the Trumpeter. Ingrid uses Polly’s lack of size to good effect, easily vaulting the Yank into a vertical, head-down position.
The dazed Polly’s arms flop lifelessly toward the canvas and Ingrid steps over one, the crowd marking out for the Valkyrie.
Valkyrie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibILK1XYFaw ).
But before, Halstrom can step her second leg over and seal Polly’s and Collusion’s title fate, Kira slides in from behind and throws a wicked chop block into the back of Ingrid’s knee. Both Halstrom and her would-be victim collapse to the canvas, the Swede clutching at her leg, Polly face down and barely stirring.
Kolina doesn’t wait for the official to intervene. She jumps through the cables and charges at the Red Menace from behind, but Koslova seems to know she’s coming. Timing things perfectly, she pivots and launches a superkick that CRACKS into Naslund’s chin, sending her crashing to the canvas, out like a light.
The St. Pertersburg native plucks Kolina off the deck by a wrist and shoulder and bum rushes her to the ropes, tossing the powerhouse over the top, Naslund plummeting to the floor far below.
The Putinista moves to her partner, ignoring the bleating of the zebra and the mewling Ingrid. She lifts Lockwood off the deck, scooping under both arms, and sets her teammate in a wobbly stance. She taps Lockwood’s cheek to help her come around and with the Star Spangled Bytch nodding her head, they move to a rising Ingrid.
As they reach toward their foe, the Bikini Teamer leaps into a low dropkick, Halstrom banging a boot against the left knee of Koslova and the right of Polly, each Colluder genuflecting with a face filled with pain. Quickly on her feet, Ingrid wraps a front facelock around the noggin of each partner, ready to double DDT the duo, but Collusion pushes their way out of the predicament.
Frustrated in her attempt to get two for the price of one, the blonde immediately leaps into a crossbody of the chests of her foes, but both Colluders together are able to catch Ingrid and remain on one knee. They rise with Halstrom in their possession, Ingrid squirming fitfully in their grasp but unable to escape. Without a word between them, Collusion lays out simultaneously, fallaway slamming Halstrom to the deck, the impact taking much of the cheekiness from the busty blonde.
Fallaway slam (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNAuZBPU5_k )
As Ingrid rolls to a stop, Polly and Kira pop to their feet and continue to ignore the scolding official. The women each claim a wrist and tug the rubbery Ingrid to her feet. They send her sprinting with a double Irish Whip to the far ropes.
On their foe’s return, Kira is set as a road block ahead of the waiting Polly. The Red Menace dips and catches the onrushing Ingrid, palms to pelvis. Kira vaults the hapless Ingrid HIGH into the air, Koslova sending her foe over her shoulders. Polly leaps to catch Ingrid’s head at the highest point she can and drags the Swede into a brutal brainbuster, the crowd groaning in sympathy and worry with the stomach-churning collision from Collusion’s Alternative Fact finisher.
Alternative Fact (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKpJpzrfaG4 ) @ 00:11
Ingrid’s unconscious before her body settles mid-ring and, while Polly shovels what’s left of the Swede to her back, Kira moves to the ropes nearest Kolina, keeping watch over the slowly rising and oblivious Naslund.
The ref finally finds his counting voice for the domineering lateral press of the Fox&Friendly blonde for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREEEE!
The FAWNatics shower Collusion (and the ref) with jeers. Koslova doesn’t react to their displeasure and Polly only smirks as she pushes up, using Ingrid’s limp frame to do so.
The ring announcer makes things official.
“Your winners by pinfall…COLUUUUSION!”
Lockwood grabs a wrist of her partner and raises it high while driving a boot into the tanned tummy of her foe, planting for a victory pose. Gladiatrix cover shot captured, Lockwood moves to the ropes and calls for a microphone. The stick delivered, she draws it to her lips.
“Don’t bring us any more unworthy immigrants,” Lockwood demands. “I’m going to make sure POTUS puts these fools’ country on the banned list.”
Lockwood turns to make a lesson out of Ingrid, but Kolina’s already reached in and pulled her partner to safety outside the ropes. The Bikini Teamers wearily stride shoulder to shoulder toward the exit.
“Yeah. That’s right,” Polly continues. “Get out while you can still walk out.”
She turns to the nearest lens.
“This country’s great but Kira and I make it even greater again. Beware any team that tries to make it less by beating us.”
Polly drops the mic to the resounding boos of the FAWNatics.
INGRID HALSTROM
KOLINA NASLUND
The Swedish Duo dazzle with their looks but they’ve shown themselves to be much more hence tonight’s golden opportunity.
Stopping at the top of the ramp, Ingrid throws her arms in the air and when the next "BOOM" happens in the song the tiny Viqueen throws them down. Loud pyro blasts explode on the sides of the stage, while Kolina stands watch on Ingrid’s six, palms on her smaller partner’s shoulders.
The ring announcer tries to make himself heard over the classical chords.
“Our next match is for the FAWN Tag Team titles. Introducing, at a combined weight of 244 pounds of pure Swedish Sex appeal…the challengers…from Halstad Sweden… Ingrid Halstrom! And her partner from Stockholm Sweden…Kolina Naslund…The Swedish Bikini Team!”
Ingrid and Kolina wear matching white bikinis with sliver heart shaped connectors at the hips and between their breasts, with white boots. Their pads are Swedish flags. Halstrom’s long blonde hair is pulled back in a fighting ponytail, Kolina’s hair hangs loose around her shoulders. The Swedes stride down the aisle, slapping the outstretched hands of the fans along the rails. Reaching the ring, they circle in opposite directions, greeting many of the fans. Ingrid stops short as she finds a fan with a sign for her. Excited, Ingrid literally bounces as she reads, “THE VIQUEENS WILL DISCOVER GOLD!”
Ingrid gives her supporter a big hug, which will likely lead to many more signs for next time. She rolls under the bottom rope, popping to her feet. Halsrtom steps on the bottom rope and leans far over the top, saluting the crowd. Kolina enters with a hop over the cables. Ingrid turns slapping Naslund’s shoulder and they swap places, Ingrid on watch as Kolina waves to the crowd.
Ingrid moves to the Bikini Team’s corner allowing the referee to check her pads and boots. Kolina then takes her turn with the referee. Pat down completed, they turn their gaze toward the imminent arrival of the champions.
With the scantily-clad Scandinavians waiting in the squared circle for their futile chance at gold, the crowd cranes toward the upper stage to welcome the Ugly American and her colluding comrade.
When the arena’s speakers spark to life with the pounding of “America, Fuck Yeah” from Team America World Police, the assembled are brought to life as with shock therapy.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8 )
Blue America’s least favorite, little blonde antagonist strides to center stage. Beside her is the woman she’d introduced to the big time and who now stands with her as a champion, Kira Koslova. The Fox&Friendly blonde and her Putinista lord over the proletariat with their golden championships slung over a shoulder.
POLLY LOCKWOOD
KIRA KOSLOVA
Each woman raises her trophy high and scattered ‘Polly Patriots’, though more than before they gained the titles, shoot to their feet in delight. The few and the proud salute Polly, her partner and their anthem crisply, even as the majority of the crowd make themselves known in a completely different fashion, raining a cascade of boos toward the obnoxious Trumpeter and her Russian hooligan.
The flaxen-haired hardbody brings a salute to her brow to signal her troops then lets the snowflakes know what she thinks of them by fashioning the knife-edge into a salute of the middle finger variety.
The self-proclaimed True American is in her battle fatigues, Polly proudly sporting her customary hot pants and bikini top. Lockwood alternates her country’s colors between a shiny, eye catching blue topside, white stars prominently placed in the appropriate spots; and shimmering red and white-striped spandex below, the space age polymer barely covering her biscuit butt. She finishes the ensemble with gleaming white pads and boots.
Lockwood has her customary cape, Old Glory, draped over her shoulders.
She turns and accepts her new partner in a literal Russian bear hug. As the crowd’s jeers rise in volume, the duo separate and start down the ramp to their next challenge.
Kira throws off a full length grey fur coat and white wool hat to reveal a simple red one piece, with one unusual aspect — a cutout pattern displaying a portion of Kira’s tanned, toned abdomen in the form of a hammer and sickle, Koslova ready to embrace her roots even more forcefully than her hero, President Vlad. White pads and boots, the footwear with red hammer-and-sickles, complete the rookie’s attire. Polly tosses away the Star-n-Stripes as they move toward the ring.
Arm in arm, the international team march confidently down the ramp and aisle, Polly occasionally jawing with the fans, who’ve obviously watched too much CNN, while Koslova is a picture of former Soviet stoicism, ignoring the hate emanating from the FAWNatics.
Reaching the ring, an excited Lockwood seems energized next to her powerful ally, bouncing with nervous vitality. The Russian leads her veteran teammate up the steps as the announcer makes their introduction official.
“And their opponents...hailing from Buffalo, New York and St. Petersburg, Russia, respectively, at a combined weight of two hundred and forty pounds…the FAWN tag team champions…Polly Lockwood and Kira Koslova, together they commit COLLUSION!”
Anyone expecting the blonde to demand her less experienced partner to widen the ropes for her entry is caught off guard when Polly is deferential to her comrade. Sitting on the middle cable, she pushes up the top for Koslova, who enters and claims the middle of the ring.
Polly, with microphone in hand, quickly joins her partner.
“Shut your mouths!” she shouts. No such luck for the Star Spangled Bytch.
“Is it any surprise the favorite daughters of the two greatest countries on earth combine to claim the tag team championships?!”
Again, each woman raises a belt high. Even with the evidence, the assembled don’t seem to agree, burying the duo in deluge of disparagement.
“Those hicks from the sticks were NO match for us,” Polly continues. “We brushed the Hellions aside like the losers they are. And you lucky people now get to witness true greatness. You’re welcome.”
Lockwood turns her attention to the challengers.
“And while our country should welcome legal immigrants like these two fine examples of blonde, blue-eyed pulchritude, there’s nothing in the Constitution that says we can’t beat them down like rented reindeer when they are allowed entry into the country. So let Donner and Blitzen have their chance before they’re put down.”
Polly tosses the stick aside with a CLUNK, and moves to her corner, Koslova covering the True American’s bubble-butt backside.
Lockwood doesn’t stop for any conversation. She steps through the ropes and takes her position as the Russian redhead’s back-up. In the opposite corner, the Swedes decide to counter-program. Instead of meeting the bigger Kira with power, throwing Kolina into battle, it’s the more accomplished but smaller Ingrid moving to the middle and she starts to circle when the bell rings.
Polly’s comrade doesn’t dawdle, chasing after the rotating blonde. As the corners get smaller for each successive escape, Halstrom finally looks for a collar-and-elbow, but ducks underneath the hook-up at the last second and slides behind Koslova. Halstrom wraps her arms around Kira in a waistlock. Ingrid ducks under a couple swinging elbows and moves alongside her foe, slapping on a side headlock.
It takes only a few seconds for Kira to get her hands on the Swede’s hips and shove her foe into a sprint. Halstrom rebounds out of the ropes and baseball slides between the legs of the stationed Koslova. The Bikini Team member hops to her feet on the other side, turns, and ducks under a blind spin kick from the Colluder. With Kira’s pirouette complete, Ingrid reapplies the side headlock she had initially and races forward, dragging Koslova for the trip.
The Swede leaps, legs extended, and sits out, driving the champion’s face into the canvas with a snappy bulldog. Ingrid shoves Kira to her back and climbs atop her in a crossbody pin for the…
ONE…
The Russian throws the diminutive blonde off her chest with significant force, Halstrom popped into the air, the blonde landing on her knees next to the champ. But Ingrid doesn’t seem impressed, rising to her feet and skipping over the downed Koslova. She hits the ropes and returns, vaulting into a front flip, lightly tanned legs circling like a pair of scythes toward Kira’s throat and chest. But the leg drops come up empty when Kira manages to roll from under, Ingrid spiking her tailbone into the unforgiving, canvas-covered plywood.
Kira clambers to her boot soles and lines up a soccer kick to the bountiful chest of the seated Bikini Teamer. However, the pendulum-like swing doesn’t find the target when Ingrid drops to her back and lets the boot swoosh over her body. Off balance from the swing-and-miss, Koslova’s tripped up by Halstrom with a drop toe hold from the one-time Eurasian champion and the scrappy Scandinavian climbs atop Kira’s back, deftly securing a double armbar on the befuddled Kira.
From the sidelines, a steaming Polly finally lets loose, demanding Kira get her act together and demolish the gorgeous Swede. The usually stoic Russian grunts in effort, legs pumping against but mostly over the canvas with her arms captured. She finds no purchase.
Reveling in the control, Ingrid gives up her dual armbars for grips on each of the redhead’s wrists. Halstrom crosses the arms under Kira’s chin and wriggles into a seated straddle just above Koslova’s waist. Yanking back on her ‘handles’, the Bikini Teamer takes her Straightjacket Camel Clutch out for a spin, bending the Russian’s backbone in an ever-growing arch, a grimacing Kira forced to stare into the rafters as Ingrid calls for the ref to offer surrender terms.
“NYET!” comes the emphatic replay to the official.
Unable to force the submission, Ingrid transitions from her Clutch, moving her feet forward, placing them behind Kira’s auburn locks and securing a surfboard hold, torturing her foe’s arms more than her back. Still the Colluder won’t offer testimony under the painful Swedish subpoena. Ingrid finally releases her grips and THUMPS Koslova’s face into the deck with a modified, less ardent curbstomp.
She dismounts the battered Putinista, grabs a wrist, and tugs Kira to her feet, whipping her to the Swedes corner where Koslova turns into a heavy collision with the buckles. Ingrid is close behind, splashing her tanned frame into the wincing face and bruised body of the Russian. Keeping her foe pinned with her pressing pulchritude, Ingrid tags Kolina over the titleholder’s shoulder and waits for her partner to enter.
With Polly screaming in protest, both Bikini Teamers move Kira down the ropes and fling her to the opposite cables with a double Irish Whip. The blondes follow after the Russian, inner hands laced and locked with a double clothesline that rips Kira off her feet on her return trip and places her heavily on the mat below the hovering Swedes. The challengers simultaneously drop elbows, sending a pained flinch through the St. Petersburg native.
While Ingrid heads for the exit upon rising, lightly scolded by the referee for the double team, Kolina lies atop Koslova, hooking a leg as part of her lateral press for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Kira kicks free from Naslund’s effort to make the veteran Bikini Teamers first-time tag champions.
Kolina slips in behind Kira when the Russian makes it to a seated position and she snakes a rib-crunching body scissors around her foe’s midriff, slipping a half nelson on for good measure topside. The power partner of the challengers, the Stockholm native, flexes her alabaster thighs, keeping Kira in pain and under pressure. First, Koslova vainly tries to pry her way free, but a rake of her nails down the thighs of the Scandinavian works much better, unlocking Koslova from her confinement.
Both blonde and redhead push to their feet and Kolina looks to separate the champ’s head from her shoulders with a clothesline. Kira dips under and staggers to her partner, slapping palms with the Pernicious Patriot and bringing Lockwood in for the first time.
Not used to being the partner to pick up Collusion’s fortunes against domineering opponents, Polly enters cautiously and seems none too interested in taking on the bigger blonde, Lockwood demanding the official keep Kolina back even when he has no legal reason. Instead, the striped shirt motions the legal women together and Naslund is not shy.
The True American dips low as the Swede advances, Lockwood shooting for a single-leg pickup. The vertically-challenged, blonde hardbody reaches her goal and encircles Kolina’s left leg. Polly starts to lift but receives a double axehandle between her shoulderblades before she can test her strength. Lockwood’s back arches from the force of the impact, a moaning Polly leaving an opening for Naslund to wrap her arms around the taut, tanned tummy of the little robobabe.
Flipping the Star-Spangled Bytch in an airborne barrel roll in front of her, Kolina genuflects and RAMS Polly’s lower vertebrae across bended knee with a Pendulum Backbreaker.
Pendulum Backbreaker (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyC26Rsy1gc )
Lockwood’s spine is curved all the more when Kolina presses down on either side of Polly after the backbone-bashing collision, Lockwood pleading with the official to check Naslund’s green card, insisting the Bikini Teamer literally isn’t a legal competitor and that she should be released from the mistreatment.
Kolina doesn’t seem to care for being called an illegal alien. She pulls her hands together, lacing her fingers, and SLAMS a double axhandle into the tanned tummy of the True American. Polly jackknifes atop the plank of Naslund’s upper leg, blue-gray eyes bulging. Naslund shoves the diminutive hardbody off, Lockwood collapsing to the canvas and rolling into a ball to protect her bruised belly.
Taking some liberty with the Pernicious Patriot, Kolina delves a set of digits into Polly’s shoulder-length, honey-blonde locks and hauls the squealing Colluder to her feet. Lockwood reaches an arm toward Koslova vainly, her Russian savior a dozen feet away. Instead Polly’s led to the Swede’s corner by the scruff of the neck. Naslund reaches out and tags the speed of the Bikini Teamers back into the match.
As Halstrom rises up the buckles, Kolina dips and scoops Polly onto a shoulder then BODY SLAMS Lockwood to the thinly-sheathed plywood, the Star-Spangled Bytch arching in pain from the impact on her spine. Naslund backs to her corner and Ingrid moves her perch from the top buckle upward to her partner’s shoulders. It’s from there she leaps into a perfectly-placed senton splash across the already battered midriff of the Fox&Friendly blonde.
Polly spasms as if she’s been attached to 10,000 volts, a rib maybe broken from the looks of the spastic carrying on. The former Eurasian champion seems uninterested by the possible theatrics. She pops to a handstand next to the splayed, fidgeting Polly, turns deftly and drops in a splash, tummy to tummy, across the flattened MAGAlicious bytch. Ingrid hooks a leg on the moaning Lockwood for the…
ONE…
TWO…
The future Circuit Court Judge kicks out of the pin, flopping to her side. Halstrom, on her haunches, takes a glance at the official and receives the international symbol for ‘THIS CLOSE’. She nods and rises to her feet at Polly’s boot soles. The Scandinavian snatches up each of Polly’s ankles, turning Lockwood to her back, and spreads the abbreviated stems wide.
“No…no…no,” Polly pleads, her extended palms ‘washing windows’. “That’s illegal in this country. We’re not savages like in Sweden.”
Ingrid’s face turns sour.
“No,” she growls. “You’re all spoiled brats.”
Leaping, Halstrom extends her legs within those of Lockwood and keeps things above board if not above the waist, leg dropping the inner thighs of the Patriot, pounding her upper legs and stretching her foe’s groin muscles. Lockwood sits up from the force of the blow, face etched in pain, hands moving to her inner thighs. Ingrid lifts and folds her lower limbs and shoots them into a stomp of Polly’s pert bosom, flattening the Flag Waver to the deck, a wincing Lockwood, swaddling her bruised breasts.
With the Bikini Teamers routing their rivals, the busty little blonde of the team takes a brief celebratory stroll, the crowd roaring its approval but also noticeably concerned with the accumulating recovery time for Polly. Still, Ingrid returns to Lockwood with the Yank still on her knees. She draws Polly to vertical then slips an arm between Lockwood’s legs. Ingrid ‘hups’ the Trumptastic blonde across her shoulders in a fireman’s carry and walks the weakly squirming Lockwood to center stage.
But before she can crush the Flag Waver with a Samoan Drop, Polly rams a series of elbows into Ingrid’s temple. Lockwood slides down her foe’s back, instantly snatching Halstrom’s shoulders from behind. FAWN’s Ugly American tucks her knees into the Swede’s shoulderblades as she lays out and blows Ingrid’s considerable lungs in the process, the Bikini Teamer blasted.
Lung Blower (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTCuQ9O1Qlw )
Ingrid ends on her back, grimacing as she reaches for the base of her spine. Lockwood isn’t in a condition to take full advantage of the turn of events, but she knows who is and pushes to all fours. Crawling to her favorite Russian redhead, Polly dives to the tag and Kira slides through the ropes, putting the boots to a rising Ingrid when the Putinista reaches her.
Still, the tough little blonde makes it to vertical and pays for it when the stone-faced Rooskie BURIES a toe kick deep into Ingrid’s tanned tummy. Doubled over, Koslova captures one arm of her foe then the other in double underhooks. Dipping slightly, Kira shows off her considerable power, sending the Bikini Teamer through a front flip with a Butterfly Suplex that delivers Ingrid to the deck with ring-rattling force.
Butterfly Suplex (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ajjp5D63YQ )
Before Halstrom even skids to a stop, Kira is spinning on a shoulder and popping to her feet. She’s ahead of the blonde’s pained rise and sets in Halstrom’s blind spot until the Scandinavian turns in her direction. Ingrid nearly gets her head torn off her body with a discus clothesline from the Russian assassin. The back of Ingrid’s braincase BANGS against the canvas, the Bikini Teamer folded in a matchbook from the force of the blow before springing into a wide spreadeagle at the base of the Colluder’s feet.
Koslova places a boot in the cleft of Ingrid’s bosom for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Halstrom shoves Kira’s foot off her chest and sits up. The Russian turns into a side kick aimed at the blonde’s considerable cleavage, but Ingrid lays flat and lets the leg swing by, grabbing it as it misses her with a couple inches to spare.
Ingrid yanks the off-balance Koslova off her feet and into a tight small package for the…
ONE…
TWO…
Kira pops free and to her feet, immediately confirming with the official she hasn’t been snookered into a loss. Lockwood scolds the Russian redhead with disapproving eyes, Polly not ready or willing to get verbal with her partner in crime.
With Halstrom rising, Kira moves in and corrals the blonde beauty in a tight side headlock, wrenching away on neck and cranium. Racing toward the Swedes’ corner with Ingrid in tow, Kira seems as though she’s bringing Halstrom back like she’s returning a gift. But she surprises the wide-eyed Naslund when she leaps through the middle and top rope on the opposite side of the post as Kolina and SLAMS Ingrid’s forehead into the middle buckle with a modified bulldog.
Turnbuckle Bulldog (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhIIQ65-QFU )
Sitting on the middle rope, Kira turns a steely blue gaze to the powerpacked Bikini Teamer and motions toward her busty partner.
“Take her place,” Koslova informs. “Eet weel not matter.”
As the Red Menace twists her way back into the ring, she watches impassively as a shellshocked Ingrid crawls to tag Naslund, Kolina entering carefully as Halstrom flops to her side and rolls under the ropes, collapsing to the floor with a thud.
A flustered Lockwood can hold her tongue no longer.
“What the hell are you doing?” she whines at her partner, wondering out loud why she would give Naslund the chance to replace her flagging teammate.
Kira holds up a hand and closes fingers to thumb. Polly’s mouth goes shut, the Star Spangled Bytch snorting in frustration and relative silence.
Naslund and Koslova close the gap between them. While neither is of Pandora-sized proportions, each represent the power of their teams, the Swede the bigger of the two. The women come together in a collar-and-elbow, eager to show what they’ve got.
It’s a stalemate at first before Kolina walks back the Russian toward her scowling ‘I told you so’ teammate. But before she can reach Collusion’s corner, Kolina finds Kira’s knee thrust into her midriff. Doubled over and bug-eyed, Naslund groans as Koslova takes possession of her noggin in a side headlock.
With her left arm wrapping tightly around the braincase, Kira grinding the blonde into the side of her chest, the right hand of the Red Menace forms a claw and she plunges the stilettoes into Kolina’s face and forehead, sinking her Iron Claw into the Bikini Teamer’s mug.
Kolina spasms and flails as the shock turns to pain and pressure, Kira flexing her snapper turtle-like grip into Naslund’s noggin. After several seconds of effort to escape are brushed aside by the Colluder, Kolina’s legs are starting to shimmy as the ‘Old School’ maneuver is taking its toll.
The Scandinavian reaches the ropes, her palms wrapping around Kira’s wrist, trying to extricate herself from the grip. Giving up on that method of freedom, Naslund’s hands drops to the redhead’s hips. She shoves Kira toward the opposite ropes and Koslova is sent sprinting away from her power play. With the Colluder from the Kremlin rebounding, Naslund shakes off her daze and races to meet her foe mid-ring. She lifts her right leg, aiming it for Kira’s beestung lips, but Koslova ducks under and heads for another set of cables. She rebounds again and heads for the turning Swede.
Koslova closes in and surges upward when a foot from of her foe with a leaping European Uppercut. The impact swings the Swede’s head back violently, but Kolina keeps her feet, backpedaling to the ropes behind her. Kira charges again, unsheathing her discus clothesline for the second time. This one’s as successful as her first, cracking across Kolina’s collarbone and sending the Bikini Teamer backflipping over the uppermost cable.
Somehow, the scantily-clad Scandinavian remains on the apron, snatching rubber-coated steel to keep herself from the floor. She delivers a forearm blow that catches the jaw of the approaching Russian redhead, Kira wobbling. Kolina tries to slip back into the ring between the top and middle strands and gets caught with a lifted knee from Polly’s best buddy behind the former Curtain.
With Kolina in a daze, half-in and half-out of the ring, Kira hits the ropes to her side and races in, snatching the blonde’s neck when in range and bringing the Bikini Teamer down with a vicious Swinging Neckbreaker from the middle rope.
Swinging Neckbreaker (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F43BMNBd-4 ).
The crowd groans at the ring-rattling collision, Kolina cradling the back of her skull as she absently rolls toward center stage, ending on her chest. Koslova doesn’t waste an instant, moving to a standing forward straddle of her foe. She collects each of Kolina’s arms, tugging them behind her foe and, using them as handles to draw the powerful blonde into an arch, head and upper torso off the canvas.
Placing her right boot behind the head of her rival, Kira takes a silent moment to savor Lockwood’s ‘knew it all the time’ face and CURBSTOMPS Naslund’s features into the unforgiving deck. Flaccid and face down, the blonde’s body shudders and falls still. Kolina drops to her knees next to the semiconscious Swede and shoves Naslund to her back. Leaning forward, she places a palm on Kolina’s navel and another on the cleft of her bosom for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
Speeding illegally into play, Ingrid NAILS the Russian with a dropkick that sends Kira sprawling away from her pinfall attempt with a half-second to spare.
As the Star Spangled Bytch threatens a lawsuit against the cheating socialist for her interference, Halstrom kips to her feet and races at Lockwood. The True American drops to the floor to avoid any collateral damage.
Her effort at a two-fer thwarted, Halstrom seems ready to heed the threat of the official and head for home, but a rising Kira proves too much of an inviting target on the way.
Ingrid collects Koslova around the shoulders, grasping her with double underhooks and spinning the Red Menace so Kira’s arms are captured and the crown of her head is pressed between Halstrom’s shoulderblades. Before the Putinista can push free, Ingrid lays out and SPIKES Koslova’s mug into the mat with a brutal facebuster.
Double Underhook Facebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqN-6J8MJWM )
The Russian quakes from the collision before falling still. A satisfied Ingrid, seated next to the demolished Koslova, has but one regret. She’s not legal to pin. As the ref finally, physically guides her out, it becomes a race to see whether the Russian or the Swede wants it more.
The push to vertical is neck and neck, the FAWNatics clapping heartily, encouraging Kolina to rise and make it to Ingrid for a tag. The blonde reaches her feet first, a second ahead of Koslova. She staggers to her partner and dives for a tag a hair’s breadth before Kira does likewise with Polly.
Blonde on blonde violence is afoot as Halstrom and Lockwood enter and race toward each other. Ingrid KNOCKS POLLY FLAT with a clothesline. A stubborn Lockwood shoves back to her feet and turns into ANOTHER, the back of her skull banging off the deck. Slower to rise this time, the Pernicious Patriot wobbles in a stupor as Ingrid approaches from her blind side.
The Bikini Teamer locks on a sneaky full nelson before Polly is fully aware of her whereabouts and Ingrid launches the diminutive hardbody into the air on her hip, SLAMMING her down in ferocious fashion.
Full Nelson Facebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G32UppEo4LA )
Hallstrom pushes the crown of her head into Polly’s side to roll the insensate Lockwood to her back, the True American flopping into a dilapidated starfish, arms and legs wide. Ingrid climbs aboard in a lateral press, hooking a leg for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THRNOOO!
The Ugly American shifts a shoulder off the canvas a few inches, the official shouting ‘TWO’ as he jumps to his feet, so close was he to slapping for the third fateful time.
Halstrom hesitates for a moment, coming to grips with how close she’s come to physically indicting the Colluder-in-chief. She grabs a wrist of the All-American dishrag and yanks the flaccid honey-blonder to her feet. The Swede buries a toe kick into Lockwood’s tummy, doubling Polly at the waist.
Wrapping an arm around the back of her foe’s neck while slinging a limp arm of Polly over hers, Ingrid vaults the Star Spangled Bytch into the air, popping Lockwood over her right shoulder while keeping hold of the Fox&Friendly blonde’s noggin. The Bikini Teamer sits out, jarring Polly to the core with her signature Runebuster.
Runebuster (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58HkLIk8T_o )
Lockwood rockets away from the impact, the crowd roaring before Polly touches ground in a limp spreadeagle a few feet away from the seated Swede.
Sensing victory, Ingrid scrambles to the splayed Polly and dives across her foe’s chest, scissoring one arm and planting the other at the wrist with both hands for the…
ONE…
TWO…
There’s no movement from the True American’s shoulders but no THREE either. A confused Halstrom turns to find a limp leg of Lockwood draped over the bottom rope, Kira standing directly outside, the redhead’s arms at her sides, visage stone-faced.
Ingrid motions toward Kira and the ref asks if the Russian has partaken in any shenanigans. She shakes her head despite the urgent accusations from the crowd and Kolina.
Still, Polly’s in a bad state and she’s easily tugged off the rope and to the middle of the ring by a wrist. The former Eurasian champ hauls the lethargic Lockwood to her feet.
The Scandinavian again guts Polly with a toe kick to bend her at the waist. Halstrom tugs Lockwood’s lowered head between her thighs, clamping down with a scissors while wrapping her arms around the tanned tummy of the Trumpeter. Ingrid uses Polly’s lack of size to good effect, easily vaulting the Yank into a vertical, head-down position.
The dazed Polly’s arms flop lifelessly toward the canvas and Ingrid steps over one, the crowd marking out for the Valkyrie.
Valkyrie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibILK1XYFaw ).
But before, Halstrom can step her second leg over and seal Polly’s and Collusion’s title fate, Kira slides in from behind and throws a wicked chop block into the back of Ingrid’s knee. Both Halstrom and her would-be victim collapse to the canvas, the Swede clutching at her leg, Polly face down and barely stirring.
Kolina doesn’t wait for the official to intervene. She jumps through the cables and charges at the Red Menace from behind, but Koslova seems to know she’s coming. Timing things perfectly, she pivots and launches a superkick that CRACKS into Naslund’s chin, sending her crashing to the canvas, out like a light.
The St. Pertersburg native plucks Kolina off the deck by a wrist and shoulder and bum rushes her to the ropes, tossing the powerhouse over the top, Naslund plummeting to the floor far below.
The Putinista moves to her partner, ignoring the bleating of the zebra and the mewling Ingrid. She lifts Lockwood off the deck, scooping under both arms, and sets her teammate in a wobbly stance. She taps Lockwood’s cheek to help her come around and with the Star Spangled Bytch nodding her head, they move to a rising Ingrid.
As they reach toward their foe, the Bikini Teamer leaps into a low dropkick, Halstrom banging a boot against the left knee of Koslova and the right of Polly, each Colluder genuflecting with a face filled with pain. Quickly on her feet, Ingrid wraps a front facelock around the noggin of each partner, ready to double DDT the duo, but Collusion pushes their way out of the predicament.
Frustrated in her attempt to get two for the price of one, the blonde immediately leaps into a crossbody of the chests of her foes, but both Colluders together are able to catch Ingrid and remain on one knee. They rise with Halstrom in their possession, Ingrid squirming fitfully in their grasp but unable to escape. Without a word between them, Collusion lays out simultaneously, fallaway slamming Halstrom to the deck, the impact taking much of the cheekiness from the busty blonde.
Fallaway slam (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNAuZBPU5_k )
As Ingrid rolls to a stop, Polly and Kira pop to their feet and continue to ignore the scolding official. The women each claim a wrist and tug the rubbery Ingrid to her feet. They send her sprinting with a double Irish Whip to the far ropes.
On their foe’s return, Kira is set as a road block ahead of the waiting Polly. The Red Menace dips and catches the onrushing Ingrid, palms to pelvis. Kira vaults the hapless Ingrid HIGH into the air, Koslova sending her foe over her shoulders. Polly leaps to catch Ingrid’s head at the highest point she can and drags the Swede into a brutal brainbuster, the crowd groaning in sympathy and worry with the stomach-churning collision from Collusion’s Alternative Fact finisher.
Alternative Fact (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKpJpzrfaG4 ) @ 00:11
Ingrid’s unconscious before her body settles mid-ring and, while Polly shovels what’s left of the Swede to her back, Kira moves to the ropes nearest Kolina, keeping watch over the slowly rising and oblivious Naslund.
The ref finally finds his counting voice for the domineering lateral press of the Fox&Friendly blonde for the…
ONE…
TWO…
THREEEE!
The FAWNatics shower Collusion (and the ref) with jeers. Koslova doesn’t react to their displeasure and Polly only smirks as she pushes up, using Ingrid’s limp frame to do so.
The ring announcer makes things official.
“Your winners by pinfall…COLUUUUSION!”
Lockwood grabs a wrist of her partner and raises it high while driving a boot into the tanned tummy of her foe, planting for a victory pose. Gladiatrix cover shot captured, Lockwood moves to the ropes and calls for a microphone. The stick delivered, she draws it to her lips.
“Don’t bring us any more unworthy immigrants,” Lockwood demands. “I’m going to make sure POTUS puts these fools’ country on the banned list.”
Lockwood turns to make a lesson out of Ingrid, but Kolina’s already reached in and pulled her partner to safety outside the ropes. The Bikini Teamers wearily stride shoulder to shoulder toward the exit.
“Yeah. That’s right,” Polly continues. “Get out while you can still walk out.”
She turns to the nearest lens.
“This country’s great but Kira and I make it even greater again. Beware any team that tries to make it less by beating us.”
Polly drops the mic to the resounding boos of the FAWNatics.